Ben awakens
by NoveltyRose
Summary: A very silly, somewhat serious what if or AU, where Ben slowly comes back to his senses in the assault on Jakku. Basically a light-side Kylo Ren/Ben in a "rewritten" TFA. Reylo. Poe and Finn! (subtext?) Kylo/Ben POV and Rey POV. Overprotective, strict daddy Han Solo. Father son story. Lighter side of the force?
1. The awakening

AN: I'm still working on my other fic, I will update it next month, just had to take a little break from it for personal reasons...

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars, it belongs to Lucas Film and Disney Ltd, but I love it too much and like to play around with its characters (especially Kylo Ren/Ben - he's too cute...and interesting!).

I had to do something while waiting for Episode VIII and well instead of going crazy wondering about what will happen next, I decided to have a little fun with "rewriting" TFA. ;)

This fic covers the whole movie plus extra scenes, major dialogue and huge event changes and some scenes aren't even there though I follow the movie and the script closely to mirror it or at least I was greatly inspired by it...obviously...otherwise this crazy fic wouldn't exist...

Since there is a lot that happens in Ben's head (mostly bickering and darkside seducing), Kylo Ren's voice/thoughts are **bolded** so there won't be any confusion over who is speaking at what time.

Update: Hmm, the "boldness" is not always clear enough her on ff but well Kylo speaks with more "sass" and is always brooding and more in a attacking mode, so to speak...

* * *

Ben awakens

Chapter one - The awakening

The loud hissing of the lowered ramp wakes him up and indicates their arrival on the desert planet of Jakku.

 _ **I fell asleep at wheel? I know certain someone in my family would not have liked me being so careless while flying...**_

Kylo Ren shakes his head fervently. _**What am I saying? I have no family. I must be tired or something...it's way past my bedtime...I mean I have worked a long shift today...it is almost morning...**_

Not that Kylo Ren ever truly slept, as then he would only be plagued with memories from a distant past. So it was more like he took a breather once in awhile, only shuts his eyes to draw strength from the dark side which had been harder and harder to do, ever since he got that mission to find that last Jedi, Luke Skywalker. The last Jedi who so unfortunately also happens to be his uncle...no, he can't think like that. Kylo Ren has no family. Ben Solo is dead...isn't he? So why does it bother him so much? That Skywalker name? Darth Vader used to be Anakin Skywalker. Used to be...so why does the Skywalker name trouble him that much?

 _Or rather what would grandpa think about us hunting his son?_

Kylo Ren groans inwardly, the supposed long gone Ben Solo keeps popping up in his head and acts like some kind of conscience. He knows by an experience that he can't ignore the voice of his long dead personality for too long so he answers him in an tired voice.

 _ **The Jedi and Sith are sworn enemies. He did the same once...well to recruit him for the emperor not destroy him...but the supreme leader doesn't want to take any chances of the new Jedi rising.**_

 _But in the end grandad, the Sith Lord saved the last Jedi. So aren't you ruining his sacrifice?_

 _ **I will finish what he started by bringing balance to the force.**_

 _Aren't you just kidding yourself? He already did bring balance by killing the emperor, Snoke is the one messing it up._

 _ **The supreme leader is wise.**_

 _The supreme leader is stupid. Is he even force-sensitive?_

 _ **You are the one who chose the dark side. You can't just back out now.**_

 _Why not? Grandad did..right before his death. I don't want to wait that long. I made a mistake. This sucks. We should just take our shuttle and get the force away. We could even got to the Resistance. Mom would be so happy to see us...I mean me._

 _ **We don't even know where the rebel base is...that is the whole problem!**_

 _We could try finding dad..._

Kylo Ren had just about had enough of this childish banter. He takes up his sword, ignites it and starts slashing the control panel viciously.

 _Oh, great now we can't use our ship..._

"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!"

"Sir..."

Kylo Ren stops assaulting the innocent control panel and turns his head slowly towards Captain Phasma, who suddenly stands behind him.

 _ **When did she get here?! How much did she hear?**_

"What?" He asks with a frosty tone, though in truth he is more embarrassed than angry, that she had heard him screaming at the voice in his head. Thankfully she can't see how he colours under his mask.

She is more than used to his temper, but what if is she knew about his internal struggle with his conscience, about their childish fighting...what would the supreme leader say? He might never complete his training...

"We are waiting for you." Phasma continues in her formal, clipped no nonsense voice and doesn't seem to care in the slightest that her commanding officer has some voices in his head. Behind her, under the desert night sky, are rank of stormtroopers, who have rounded up surrendering villagers and penned animals are in panic. However none of this matters to Kylo Ren, who watches where an old man, Lor San Tekka, walks sadly through the village as Stormtroopers wielding flamethrowers destroy structures.

 _ **At last I will have the map to the last Jedi...**_

Kylo Ren only dips his helmet down to acknowledge Captain Phasma's words. He straighten himself up, turns of his lightsaber, puts on his hood and walks down the landing ramp in a whoosh of his robe, far into the night...

 _ **You better be quiet you damn voice...**_

* * *

Kylo Ren stop before the outraged Lor San Tekka.

 _Wow, he has gotten old since last time._

"Look how old you've become."

 _ **Wait, did I just say that outloud? And of course he has grown old, we can't stop the passage of time...stupid voice, stop making me look foolish!**_

 _You don't need my help for that..._

"Something far worse has happened to you." Lor San Tekka scolds him like he's a naughty boy instead of a dark lord.

 _Hah! And he doesn't even know about the voice in your...eh my head._

 _ **Quiet voice!**_

"You know what I've come for."

"I know where you come from. Before you called yourself Kylo Ren."

Kylo rolls his eyes under the mask. _**Is that old man really lecturing me? I don't have time for this...**_

"The map to Skywalker. We know you've found it, and now you're going to give it to the First Order."

 _ **Don't test my patience...I'm warning you.**_

"The First order rose from the darkside...you did not."

 _ **Did that old coot just smirk at me? Doesn't he understand how much a threat I am? Does he really think I am little Ben anymore? Well, I better show him how dangerous I truly am today.**_

"I will show you the dark side." Kylo Ren threatens.

"You may try, but you cannot deny the truth that is your family."

"You're so right."  
 _ **If you are talking about Darth Vader...**_

 _He is not talking about Darth Vader and you know it! Though he was also family...!_

Kylo Ren ignites his lightsaber.

 _Don't kill him! He's an old friend of mom's!_

 _ **I don't care about that! I have killed countless of people! Why should this be any different?! Beside he is freaking annoying!**_

Despite Kylo Ren's argument, something stops him from ripping Lor San Tekka apart with his lightsaber.

And it's not because someone comes rushing into the scene, yelling no and is about to shoot at Kylo Ren with his blaster, who even though is shocked over what himself had done, or rather not done, stops the attacker easily with the force, with his sabre free hand, without even looking at him.

 _ **What happened?**_

Kylo Ren looks at his hand with lightsaber still ignited, that suddenly feels as if it weighs a ton. He can't lift it up.

 _ **Was it always this heavy?**_

He can hear the surprise all round him. The old man who taunted him so much, looks bewildered over having not been killed but also relieved to be still alive.

 _ **Okay, I can still save face. I don't need my lightsabre to strike terror. I can force choke him! Yes, just like grandad and since I used the force before easily...yeah my other hand must have fallen asleep. How embarrassing...**_

Kylo Ren looks to his side and see that his attacker, who is a dark haired young man in a pilot jacket, is still suspended in mid-air.

 _ **Do I let him go? Wouldn't that send the wrong message? But I need that hand to force choke, since my other hand is not working anymore...maybe I should just force choke that man and be done with him first. Yeah! That should show them, that should teach them to fear me!**_

Kylo Ren focus alls his dark energy into his hand, ready to force choke the man who had dared to attack him while he was about to execute that annoying old man. Or that was his plan. However, it doesn't matter how much dark side energy he tries to summon. Nothing comes out.

 _ **What the? Am I drained of the dark side? Can that happen? Am I a well or something? No wait...now I understand everything. Ben, are you trying to stop me?!**_

 _I am doing much better than trying..._

 _ **Stop this, this is futile. You will never get back. You are lost forever. You are hindering the great plan for the galaxy. Stop acting like a homesick child...**_

"Sir...? Are you alright?" Captain Phasma has a worried tone like a...mother.

 _ **Can the master of the knights of Ren get a sick day?**_

Kylo has no idea how to explain anything of this, so he wordlessly turn off his lightsaber and puts it back in his hilt. He also lets his attacker drop, who oofs when landing on the desert ground, on his way to his ship. The only thing he wants to do now is to get back to his shuttle and destroy some more control panels or maybe just weep over what a horrible night this has been...

"Sir, what about the villagers?" Captain Phasma calls after him.

"Do what you want with them."

 _ **I don't care.**_

 _Well, I care...!_

"On my command!" Captain Phasma gives the order in a cold voice, erupting shrieks from all the villagers when the blasters are made ready .

* * *

With his back turned, Kylo Ren doesn't see the slaughter that is about occur, but he can hear and feel the panic from the villagers and for the first time in a long time, the screams of despair cuts right into his soul. The first ray of the morning sun breaks through the night.

 _No, stop. I don't want this!_

"Wait!" He stops on his way to his shuttle.

"Wait? Wait for what sir?" Captain Phasma's usual cold voice has a hint of a surprise.

 _ **Wait, what? Why did I yell stop?**_

Kylo Ren turns to her, ready to give her the command to go on and kill the villagers when he feels a tremendous headache coming on. He grabs his head and kneels on the desert sand in pure agony.

"Sir, do you have a headache? Do you need an aspirin?"

"Stop...talking like my mother!" Kylo yells at her.

This causes even greater confusion for all the spectators.

"Sorry sir...only trying to help." She says in a hurt voice.

 _ **What's happening to me? I must get to my ship...out of this...this chaos to regain my senses...**_

As Kylo stumbles to his feet, he is met with a sight of a panicky stormtrooper standing in line with other stormtroopers, waiting for Phasma's command or his to shoot. His helmet has a bloody handprint after a fallen comrade from when they invaded Jakku this night. Kylo sees through the force, that this is his first time on the battlefield and what is more, that he doesn't intend to fire at the villagers. No, that stormtrooper, FN2187 is afraid to be there and wants to get the hell away from the First Order at the first possible chance.

 _ **As it is his first time, it explains his pathetic feelings but not what is happening to me...**_

They lock eyes together, his eyes of the mask and the eyes of the mask of a stormtrooper. Kylo can instantly feel the panic elevate higher in the stormtrooper after noticing his stare. His feelings, so strongly felt in the force, says I'm dead now and for a moment Kylo is half-tempted to take of his helmet to show him his human side to...calm him down.

 _ **What the...is happening to me?**_

Kylo doesn't get any answers to his question, as Ben the voice, has fallen deadly silent for the first time. For some reason he pulls down his hood and sends a calming wave through the force to the uncomfortable trooper.

 _ **I'm lost too..**_ _._ He admits to himself, as he no longer seems to be able to control his actions or words.

They instantly make some connection through the force, "I will help you if you help me", and finally Kylo can start to formulate some plan.

 _ **I need some...new allies...for whatever I'm going through...**_

"FN2187."

The stormtrooper wants to yelp in fright over the simple fact that Kylo Ren is talking to him but instead, probably thanks to the calming wave from the force earlier, he says hesitantly. "Yes...sir?"

"I need your help."

"My help..sir?" The trooper is surprised, but no more than Kylo himself who didn't even say these things outloud, however Kylo has decided not to overthink things anymore.

 _ **Besides, everything is as the force wills...**_

Captain Phasma only stares at her commanding officer in confusion but doesn't say anything to object, though Kylo feels that she desperately wants to yell at him for not making any sense. All the other troopers feel the same way and even the captured villagers want to yell at him to get on with it!

"Yes, your help...I need to get away from this planet."

 _ **What...I did not say that! But it's true that my ship is broken...**_

 _And whose fault is that?_

Is what Kylo Ren is expecting Ben to retort, but there is only silence.

 _ **Strange, something is controlling my movements and words...but Ben seems to have disappeared for good...**_

Now the trooper looks truly lost.

"To the starkiller base, sir?" The trooper looks at the countless ships behind them, not understanding the problem.

Kylo unclasp and lifts his helmet, revealing his true face for the first time. "No, this time I'm going home."

* * *

"Home, sir...?" A foreign concept to the trooper who had been snatched from his family at birth and trained for the First order.

Kylo doesn't elaborate any further what he means, as he has no clue himself what's he is talking about.

 _ **Home? What the...I'm talking about? And why did I take of my helmet?!**_

All of a sudden he raises his arm and uses the force to take away all the blasters from the troopers and Captain Phasma. He throws them high into the air, turning them into small black dots in the dusk, till they end up far away in the desert beyond.

All the troopers turn to him shock, even FN2187. The villagers blink surprised, as they have long since lost the plot. Only Lor San Tekka looks at him curiously.

 _ **Okay, I did not mean to do that!**_

"Sir!" Captain Phasma gives an audible gasp. "Have you lost your mind?" She puts her hands on the hip in a stern manner.

 _ **Yes! I don't know what's happening!**_

"I have a name. It's Ben."

"What?" Captain Phasma shouts bewildered like that fact is the least thing from her mind or maybe she just doesn't like his real name...

 _ **Wait...what?! When did you take the wheel?**_ Suddenly everything, he had done these last minutes made sense to Kylo.

Ben had hidden himself and slowly taken over again, though thankfully not completely or Kylo Ren wouldn't exist anymore.

 _ **Why you...**_ but as Ben is no longer using his anger or at least not pure hatred to draw strength from, the voice of Kylo Ren slowly drowns out in his mind.

The last traces of the darkness of the night change into morning, the precious sunlight floods over the scene, over the disarmed troopers and the freed villagers, who are all in state of shock, while Ben himself feels oddly invigorated after having taking control again. The tiredness he had felt all night is all gone from his limbs and head and in fact it feels like he had been asleep this whole time and that he's finally awake. At last he see things clearly. He knows what he has to do.

"I'm done with the First Order." Ben ignites his saber, startling Captain Phasma even further and the troopers. He looks at FN2187. "Except you."

"Me?" FN2187, does not like the sound of that.

"Yes, you want to get away from the First Order as well, right?"

Captain Phasma glares at her trooper. "Is that true...FN2187?"

FN2187 looks from her to Ben and back again, like he's watching a tennis match. "Uuuuh..."

"You don't have to be afraid of her. Come here, I will protect you." Ben cocks his head to side.

FN2187 only have to been told that once, as he runs behind Ben's back, cowering in fear.

"So it's...treason then?" Captain Phasma asks in her cold voice through the vocoder, but Ben feels that she's on the verge of crying.

Ben ignites his lightsaber and walks threatenly over to Captain Phasma who backs away, all the way into a transporter.

"Retreat, we can't fight him." Captain Phasma says, meaning not without the other knights of Ren. Ben can feel her glare through the mask. "The supreme leader will hear about this."

He glares back at her. "I'm not afraid of him."

The ramp closes after all the stormtrooper have fled and the transporters fly away.

The true ramifications of what he had done finally sinks in.

 _I just made an enemy out of the entire First Order...I'm so screwed!_

Gun cocking sounds can be heard all around him.

FN2187, who is unarmed after Ben send his blaster flying into the sky, yelps in fright like a little girl.

 _And I'm not that welcome here either..._


	2. The adventure begins

AN: I split the first chapter in two, here is the rest.

* * *

Chapter two - The adventure begins

"Wait, hold your fire."

It is Lor San Tekka who comes to their rescue.

The villagers look doubtful but do as he says.

The old explorer walks over to Ben, inspecting him like he is truly seeing him for the first time. "Why did you help us?"

"Lor San Tekka, he still has his lightsaber!" Someone from the village screams like the old man is walking straight into a deathtrap.

Lor San Tekka ignores the warning and stands before Ben who shrugs, turns of his lightsaber and puts it back into his hilt. "It was the right thing to do."

Even though Ben himself is technically unarmed, the villagers do not put down their weapons but he can feel how their tension levels drop down tremendously.

That can not been said about his new ally, the defected trooper, as they are still in a firing range, and the fact that it did not calm him in any way down that Ben unarmed himself rather it made him more scared if anything. So the trooper trembles behind his back like a leaf in a desert storm.

"What made you change your mind?" Lor San Tekka keeps interrogating Ben, who sighs tiredly and looks at him with a puppy eyes, longingly like he wants to go back to the farm where he grew up on. "I just want to go back home."

If the villagers were confused before that is nothing compare to how they feel now. They murmur and whisper in loud voices.

"Kylo Ren is homesick?"

"Does he even have a home?"

"No, this not Kylo Ren." Lor San Tekka tits his head to side. "Is Kylo Ren gone?"

"Yes."

 _ **No, I am far from gone. You may have won this battle but I will win the war. You shall see.**_

"Gone? He's right there." The villagers keep on murmuring while they lower their weapons.

"Is Lor San Tekka becoming senile?"

Ben is sick of this nonsense, as this is getting him nowhere. His eyes meet the ones of the young pilot that tried to shoot him before. The pilot looks to be the one not trusting him the most, judging by his scowling face and the way that he points the blaster at him.

Thanks to the force, Ben knows that man is part of the resistance.

 _Great...the guy who hates me the most of all the crowd...but that was to be inspected. I'm not really that popular with resistance.._

 _He is my ticket out of here, not the cheapest one and certainly the hardest one to get...but also the only one._

"You, take me to the resistance." Ben points at the pilot, mustering every bit of courage and command technique he knows to ask him...

The pilot becomes livened. "My name is not you! It's Poe Dameron and I don't trust you one bit."

 _Poe Dameron...the best pilot of the resistance. My luck just turned...that is if I can somehow convince him to help me._

FN2187 gets more confused as the things unfold. He asks, where he is still hiding behind his back. "The resistance...sir, I thought you were going home..."

Ben turns to the trooper. "The general is my mother."

"Oh and so what? Do you want to go back to mommy?" Poe scoffs.  
Ben turns back to him. "Yes."

Poe and the others seems to be taken a little aback by the sincerity of his answer. Lor San Tekka only smiles knowingly and strokes his beard, like this had been his plan along.

 _Damn old coot...he was right about me..._

"But most of all I want to deliver that map to her. Where is the map?"

"I gave it to him." Lor San Tekka indicates the pilot who can't possibly hate Ben more than he already does and stand beside him with crossed arms and a fierce glare, that reminds Ben of certain someone in his family...or two certain someones...that Ben will have to face sooner or later...at least one of them...

 _I can worry about that meeting later.._. _this is now. Okay...so now I have two favours to asks of him...I could try to ask for it nicely instead of commanding him...yeah, that could work..._

"You...eh Poe...purr...per...please give me the map."

 _I haven't had to say please in a very...long time..._

For a moment Poe seems to want to laugh at his failed attempt to do what even children know how to do perfectly. But just as quickly as the grin is about to appear, it disappears in rage, far more fitting of a darkside user then a rebel fighting for justice.

"And why should I give to you?! You want to destroy the last Jedi!" Poe spits in his eyes, just in case Ben was getting the wrong idea that there was a tiny bit inside Poe that was starting to like him.

Ben clenches his teeth and wipes his eyes with his long sleeve.

 _Don't kill him...don't kill him...calm down...damn that Poe is dense...but I can understand that he does not trust me right off the bat..._

"No, that was Snoke's stupid idea. I don't answer to him any longer."

Everyone gasp over the fact that he didn't call him supreme leader and to the boot, stupid and also the fact the he hadn't sliced Poe in half after having spit on him, in the eyes no less. Even Poe seems to be shocked to be alive and stares at Ben, like he's not one of the worst person alive but maybe someone a bit more tolerable.

 _Perhaps, he is finally realizing I'm not evil anymore...I hope..._

"So you have truly defected from the First Order?" Lor San Tekka asks, the only one in village beside Poe who dares to talk to him directly.

"Yes, I have."

 _Truly? I saved the villagers from execution, disarmed the troopers and made a commanding officer flee...what more to do you want from me?_

"This is not just a trick...?" Lor San Tekka asks warily, like he thinks this all one magic trick, ending with Ben going up in smoke and Kylo Ren appearing again and cutting him and Poe in half.

"No." Ben hope that is enough. He has no idea what he can do more to get his trust except maybe break his lightsaber in half but of course he would never do that...

To Ben's great relief, Lor San Tekka only smiles and says:"Your mother will be so pleased."

Ben could only nod to that.

 _That's why I'm doing it._

All the villagers have starting to relax a bit, making Poe, the pointal dark-side user if he is force sensitive to be the only one, still not trusting Ben, even though he had mercifully spared his life...twice, counting when Poe tried to shoot him for attempting to kill Lor San Tekka.

Poe walks over to Ben in strides, with his blaster aloft. "You...You can't just waltz into the resistance base and expect no consequences. I will have to take you prisoner!"

 _He attacked me twice, still lives and still does not trust me...those rebel...scum are so damn stubborn in their rightfulness...everything is so black and white to them, no grey area..._

Lor San Tekka raises his hand between the blaster and Ben and shakes his head disapprovingly. "The general wouldn't want that."

"I...he's a notorious war criminal...not some cuddly...teddy bear!" Poe yells in frustration. "Has everyone forgot that?!"

 _From a war criminal to a teddy bear is a bit too much of a stretch...does this guy not have any middle ground in anything? Sure I was darkside once, but not completely and now I'm lightside but not..._

"No, that was Kylo Ren. This is Ben Solo." Lor San Tekka says in a tired teacher-like voice, like someone who has tried explaining the same thing, over and over again.

Poe can't believe his own ears over this absurd logic. He shakes his head like he's in some weird dream. He blinks, when one thing seems to grab his attention specially. "Wait, Solo...is your dad...?"

"Don't remind me." Ben snaps at Poe, finally giving a tiny bit into the anger he has been feeling against him this entire time. And when he gives into anger, Kylo appears again, though only in his head.

 _ **Yet, you have acted with the same bravado like him this entire time. He would've been so proud...**_

 _Shut up!_

 _ **I doubt he will be as forgiving as your "dearest mother."**_

 _I don't plan on meeting him._

 _ **Good, as he will undoubtedly "kill" you for all the unnecessary grievance you have cost your mother.**_

"Where is that map, Poe? I am not returning without the map!" Ben keeps snapping at Poe, who blinks in surprise over his sudden mood change.

 _ **You think that will make up for everything, do you? You think your mother will open her arms for you and everything will be forgotten? You're delusional. You life in a dream world.**_

Poe looks in disbelief at Lor San Tekka who says in encouraging voice. "Go on, tell him."

At last Poe admits defeat. He sighs. "It's in a white and orange BB unit. One of its kind."

"And what is that unique droid called?"

"BB-8"

"How original."

"Like you can talk, Ben...Kylo Ren."

 _It was Snoke not me! I wanted to be called Darth Grandson or Darth Ben! At least Darth, like grandpa, otherwise what's the point! But no Snoke didn't allow me..._

 _ **That was kinda jerkish of him. I see that now...**_

"Where is BB-8?" Ben looks around for the droid.

When Poe doesn't answer him, Ben asks again in a harsher voice. "Where...is it?"

Poe shrugs off handly. "I sent him away."

 _Away...?_

Ben looks around the village, till his eyes are looking over the horizon, into the burning hot desert.

 _No! It can't be!_

"So what you are telling him is...that it's somewhere...out there...in this endless vast desert?!" Ben points disbelieving into the desert.

 _ **No...really? So this won't be as easy as you thought? You poor baby...**_

"Poe, why did you send it away?" Lor San Tekka rebukes him.

"Hey! How was I supposed to know that Kylo Ren here would turn out to be a boy scout?"

"I'm not Kylo Ren."

Poe grind his teeth. "Fine, Ben...but you are dressed like him."

Ben shrugs. "I happen to like black."

Poe shakes his head. "You're impossible."

FN2187, who has kept quiet so far, points at himself in realisation. "Hey, so that was why you chose me?"

Ben turns from Poe to the trooper, not seeing anything black about the white armour but he doesn't comment on that. "No, I would have chosen you anyway."

 _You wanted to get away too..._

"Thank you..umm, sir."

Ben picks up the argument with the insufferable pilot. "Then we must search the desert until we find it."

"Wait we? It's my droid. You can just go on our own to the resistance. I think it's wonderful to stroll through the desert in that black attire..."

"Stop saying black!" FN2187 yells desperately, like a little kid who wants get his parents to stop fighting.

"Why?" Poe lifts his eyebrows in question.

"It confuses me...or something. I'm not used to not wearing a helmet and be recognisable...I think..."

Ben knock on his helmet. "You're still wearing it."

FN2187 jumps up. "Oh...I...you are the one not wearing helmet...sorry got confused...everything is so confusing."

 _ **Indeed it is...**_

"Take off your helmet." Poe says, not commanding but more in a curious voice.

"I'm allowed to...sir?" FN2187 turns to Ben, who just nods.

The trooper slowly removes his helmet, like it's a holy ritual instead of something done each day after work. He reveals his young, sweaty dark skinned face and dark hair, flattened after the helmet, a stark contrast from the white but dirty stormtrooper armour.

"Hey, you're much cuter than I thought!" Poe blinks him teasingly.

"Uh...thanks..I guess." FN2187 looks to Ben for help who only shrugs.

 _That pilot probably flirts with everything..._

Poe looks sharply at Ben and points rudely at him. "But you! You can do whatever the hell you want, as long it's far away from me!"

"I'm not leaving without that map!" Ben shouts in commanding voice, that would make Darth Vader proud. Or at least he hope so and it didn't sound whiney. He wasn't used to order people around without his mask...

 _Wait...why do I still care about what Darth Vader thinks?_

 _ **He was cool.**_

 _Yeah, he was...despite all the killing..._

 _ **The killing made him cool.**_

 _I don't agree with that..._

 _ **You never agree with me anymore..**_

 _Are you really crying?_

 _ **No...!**_

"Poe, you better give up." Lor San Tekka scowls at him, like Poe is the one making trouble for everyone but not Ben.

"Okay, fine. I hope my X-wing will be able to be repaired or there will be hell to pay!" Poe jumps to his x-wing and checks the damage out. He tisks in annoyance when he sees the smoke coming from the engine, no doubt after the blaster shots from the invading troopers before.

"You can always find a new ship..." Ben rolls his eyes over the drama.

Poe turns to him with a frown. "I am going on my x-wing or we will walk...You can't really talk, your ship is still over there." He points in envy at this command shuttle, the only ship left from the First Order in the area.

Ben looks to his ship and back to Poe. "It may have been broken..."

Poe lifts an eyebrow.

"By me..." Ben shamefully admits and turns away from him, so he can't see him blush.

 _Or rather Kylo Ren...I don't do things like that..._

 _ **It was still your fault...for pissing me off! You are still doing it!**_

"Figures. And what about you, are you also coming with us? There are only two seats in my x-wing and I would prefer you waaay over him." Poe starts repairing his x-wing while occasionally casting a glance to the now helmetless trooper.

"Me?" The trooper points at himself, he looks at his helmet in his hand, hands it over to Ben, possibly for safe keeping and walks over to Poe. "I guess so...yes...I'm coming with you...I think..."

Poe looks up from his repairing. "So you are not taking your orders from him?" Poe points at Ben, like he's some dirt under his shoes instead of a human being with feelings.

"I..I don't know...sir?" FN2187 looks once more for help from Ben.

 _ **He probably doesn't even know who you are any more...do you know who you are?**_

Ben just stares at the two helmets in his hands. He throws the trooper one the ground but keeps his own.

 _It could be useful later on..._

FN2187 is still waiting for answer from him but Poe answers instead while wiping sweat of his brow: "Well, I say you're not! You're free now! What's your name?" He wipes his oily hands on a handkerchief before giving him a handshake.

"FN2187."

"Wow, that's a handful, I'm gonna call you...Finn." Poe smiles and puts a hand on his the shoulder.

"F-N...Finn...?" Ben scoffs.

"Shut up." Poe snaps at him.

"Finn, I like it." Finn smiles happily.

"Welcome aboard kid." Poe puts forth his fist and they fistbumb.

Finn then turns to Ben with a smile, ready to give him a fistbumb as well. Poe however looks annoyed that Finn is replicating his gesture with his former enemy.

Ben is startled over the camaraderie shown by his former trooper. He hesitates for a minute but then he gives him a fistbumb, with his helmet free hand as well.

 _I'm finally going home..._

Ben smiles for the first time in years.

 _Or at least...this will be one hell of an adventure..._

* * *

 _ **Next up: Meeting Rey.**_


	3. A mother (always) knows best

_AN: Thanks for the follows, favorites and review! You guys rock! Sorry, for the delay. I have already written the whole story (approx. 14 chapters)...I'm just rewriting it...so their meeting with Rey won't be until in the next chapter..._

 _The next chapter shouldn't be too far behind...this was more like a very super silly extra..._

 _KR=Kylo Ren._

* * *

Chapter three - A mother (always) knows best

Thanks to Poe's insistence on using his broken x-wing, never mind the fact Ben has already borrowed another shuttle and is going to use that one, they have to wait for the stubborn pilot to fix his ship before they can begin the search for Poe's droid that is harboring the map.

While he and Finn wait for Poe to finish repairing, Lor San Tekka invite them to his hut and Ben is relieved to get away from the prying eyes of the villagers who are hard at work rebuilding the village after having put out all the fire and they stare after him like they are dreaming. He can hardly blame them as he still can't believe what he had done or rather was capable of doing, casting Kylo Ren to the back of his mind into the shadows where he belongs.

Finn takes a nap in the back of the hut and doesn't even bother to take off his armor, as the excitement from the battle and big changes have really wore him out. Ben thinks it is a wise call, the nap not sleeping in the heavy armor, as they have no idea how long time that search will take. However, Ben also knows it is too risky for him to sleep,for two reasons, one they aren't out of danger yet and two, he can't trust Kylo Ren not to use the opportunity and take control again.

As Ben doesn't go to sleep, he sits cross-legged on the hard floor and has to settle for Lor San Tekka staring at him with his annoying I know everything smile, he remembers somewhat from the past.

 _ **KR: You are perfectly safe to sleep...I would never take over like that. You were the one who took control...and made everything a mess.**_

 _I don't trust you...and why is everything so familiar here?_

 _ **KR: You really don't remember?**_

The old man gives him some strange familiar unappetising stew in a bowl and then to make matters worse, he draws a com-link from his pocket and buzzes it.

" _General?"_

" _Yes? Did you give Poe the map?"_

Ben's heart nearly stops when he recognizes his mother's voice. He coughs violently and not just because of the spicy inedible food he has been served.

 _That old coot! I'm not ready to talk her yet! He always just does whatever he wants!_

He glares daggers at the old man, who just smiles at him as if he is the most unthreatening man in existence right now and explains to his mother how things have changed.

After thinking it over logically instead of running outside the hut as Ben most wants at the moment or throw the hot food in Lor San Tekka's face, he figures it could make some things easier if the rebellion knows he isn't longer an enemy and anyways they would've soon found out his betrayal to the First Order when they put a search warrant for him. Though that doesn't mean he isn't very nervous over her reaction.

* * *

" _Let me get this straight, my son did all of these...heroic...things. You are sure that it was him?"_ Asks his mother after Lor San Tekka had finished his story.

 _Is it really that hard to believe that I can be a hero?_

 _ **KR: Hero...? More like an idiot...**_

Ben is too nervous to retort to Kylo's insult, while he does his best to beat down his survival instinct to not flee outside when hearing his mother's voice.

"Positive, I have him with me." The old man smiles at Ben, who sits nervously across from him and has lost all appetite and he adds teasingly: "Don't you think I know the kid, I used to babysit him, remember? That mask didn't fool me for one minute."

Ben hides the helmet behind him, as if it would figuratively put all of his past behind him.

A deadly silence is on the line as his mother thinks it over.

 _Oh, right...I had...tried to forget about that. No wonder he could see through me like this...though I hated that time, it was so boring, staying in this hut with nothing to do...and sometimes he went on a hermit adventures and instead of taking me with him, he left me with a boring villager...who also went on adventure and left me with another villager who..._

 _I remember now I hate this village..._

 _ **KR: I was going to burn it down for you...**_

 _On the other hand...hate is a strong word..._

" _May I speak with him?"_ His mother asks finally a bit forcefully, kind of like in her, he's in big trouble voice that Ben hates so much and she usually used when she heard about how he had broken furniture at one of his babysitter's house, in pure rage over being left behind by his parents...once again.

 _No, not yet! I haven't found the map...to earn...at least some of her forgiveness!_

"Of course." Lor San Tekka hands the com-link to Ben who looks at the small device as if it is a thermal detonator. " I will give you two some privacy." He blinks him and goes outside.

 _ **KR: I knew I should've have cut that meddling fool down...**_

* * *

" _Ben...?"_ asks his mother on the line, Ben knows he has to cross if he plans on staying on the lightside for real.

 _ **KR: You know, you can still turn back. You don't have to do this. You can just tell the supreme leader this was all one heatstroke, everyone would understand, with that dark outfit in the desert and wearing a mask on top of it!**_

 _I've come too far to turn back now..._

" _Ben...are you there?"_

 _ **KR: You will regret this, trust me...don't do this...**_

 _I'm never trusting you again...and besides you're wrong, wearing black is good in heat as it keeps the skin cool, so your explanation doesn't work!_

 _ **KR: Okay, I kind of knew that...but the helmet...**_

 _It feels like being in a oven, that's true..._

" _Please answer me...this better not be another...awful prank, Lor San Tekka!"_ Shouts his mother furiously.

 _Another?_

As much as Ben would like to get the old man in trouble even though he clearly still known as a troublemaker, he can't bear to hear the anguish in his mother' s voice any longer, so he utters two simple words he hadn't said in at least six years. "Hi...mom."

Now there is only silence on the other line.

 _Is she crying...? Did she faint? Did she have a heart attack...?_

"Mom...?"

 _"On your six year old birthday what did you find in my closet?"_ She asks him in her commanding voice.

Ben looks shocked at the comm-link, only his mother could recover so soon after earth shattering news and for a moment feels like he's in a cold interrogation room instead of a warm cozy hut...despite the strange opening question. It doesn't take him a long while to recover from the shock as he knows full well what his mother is doing, though that doesn't mean he wants to take any part in it.

"I'm not playing this game..." he says through clenched teeth.

 _We don't have time for this!_

" _You could be an imposter. I haven't seen you since you were ten years old,"_ she says firmly.

 _You mean not since the time you send me to train with uncle Luke..._

His mom always had an abnormal fear of losing him, of him being kidnapped and even some imposter to takes his place, so they had a list of security questions to answer in the worst case scenario.

 _ **KR: For someone who was never around, she sure was afraid of losing you...**_

 _But she never planned on me having enough of her controlling me from afar and leave on my own...but that is the past, this is now._

Ben rolls his eyes and exhales loudly before muttering shamefully: "Fine...your...slave bikini...which you wore when you killed Jabba the Hut."

 _That should convince her...there is no way anyone else...outside the family...would know about her still keeping it!_

" _What do you think sucks the most?"_

"More questions...mom...?"

" _I'm waiting."_

 _She must be thinking about what I told her when I was about ten..._  
"The Jedi code."

 _Though I still think it sucks._

 _ **KR: At least we still agree on that.**_

" _What are your favorite colors?"_

"Black and red."

" _Technically black isn't a color, but the answer is right,"_ correct his mother, always a stickler for details.

"Are you finished...?"

" _What did you call me when you were very small and you could hardly talk?"_

"No, I'm not saying it...ever."

" _Then I won't believe you."_

"Fine...mamsy..."

" _Correct...sweetie."_

He can just imagine her grinning at him, as she has him just where she wants him...at her mercy.

 _She's enjoying this way too much! This is pure torture! She must be satisfied now...she can't not be..._

A silence on the line and then: " _What is your...?"_

* * *

And on and on it went, Ben had never been in as a thorough and awful interrogation and it didn't even help that he went to sit in a comfortable chair beside a fireplace. His brain feels fried after the endless questionnaire.

 _I don't remember it being this long! Will she never believe me?_

 _ **KR: Nope, you better just head back to the First Order. This was all a mistake anyway...**_

" _So it's true...it's you...you have..."_ asks his mother in a broken voice like she's on the verge of crying.

"Yes, I've come back."

 _About time, she was convinced!_

 _ **KR: Damn...but how can you be so sure she isn't a imposter?**_

 _Idiot, she wouldn't know so many embarrassing things about me if she wasn't._

 _ **KR: Just checking...not fair that she gets to ask you all these questions...**_

 _I'm too tired to interrogate her..._

" _How...no, it doesn't matter. At last...I knew..." she says in a stunned voice._

 _She asked me a lot of stupid questions but not about things that really matter...? Well at least I remember what things are important._

"I will bring you the map," he says with finality.

 _There I've said the things I had to tell her._

" _Don't worry about it. I just want you home."_

Ben stares in disbelief at the comm-link.

 _Why is she just acting like I've been lost in woods or something? Isn't she...the slightest mad at me for everything I did?_

"What do you mean...what about uncle Luke?" He leans over comm-link and whispers the last word, as if she had forgotten why she is looking for that map in the first place.

" _It's not yours to worry about."_

"Even though I'm the reason he's in hiding in the first place?" He reminds her of the cruel reality.

 _Things won't be so easy..._

An awkward silence ensues following that statement, until his mother clear her throat: " _I...It doesn't matter any more. It's in the past...we will find your uncle, don't worry."_

"No, I insist, that's the least I can do."

His mother sighs, knowing how stubborn he is and says sternly: " _Fine, but be very careful...I don't want to lose you..ever again."_

"You won't."

 _ **KR: Don't promise something you can't keep...**_

" _Please hurry...I can't wait to see you again,"_ says his mother in her most sweet voice, mostly reserved for him.

He pause for a second and then he replies: " _Me..too..."_

 _And I mean it._

"Aw, how sweet." Poe decides to walk in the hut at the precise moment. He grins and rubs his oily on a small towel. "I didn't know you had this side to you."

* * *

Ben's face becomes three shades of red and he quickly turns his back to him. _Did this guy just have to eavesdrop...so embarrassing...!_

" _Is Poe there? I need to talk to him..."_ says his mother, but Ben turns his attention to Poe instead and snaps at him in authoritative voice, desperate to regain his dignity: "Did you finish repairing?"

Poe just smiles at him:" Yep, we are all ready to go."

 _Finally..._

" _I said I need to talk to..."_ Ben puts the comm-link into his pocket muffling the sound but doesn't turn it off.

"Let's go then." He takes a step forward, but Poe stops him by holding up a hand. "Where is Finn? You didn't eat him?" He frowns at the bowl of untouched food sitting on the floor.

"Are you blind? He's sleeping over there!" Ben points where Finn is sleeping in the back and who has been sleeping soundly during everything, as he is used to having to be able to sleep through explosions and what not. He doesn't even stir despite the shouting.

"You are so much fun to tease." Poe walks over to Finn and pushes him super gently. "Wake up Sleeping beauty."

 _If I was asleep he would probably kick me in the face...of course I would do the same..._

Finn still doesn't stir.

"Did you drug him?" asks Poe concerned and Ben scoffs: "No, why don't you just try to kiss him...?"

"Is that how you do it in the First Order?" asks Poe seriously, unfazed by the question and Ben, who gets angry over the quick retort, snaps at him: "Just...fuck you Poe!"

"With pleasure." Poe smiles at him like he's nothing but a little kid throwing harmless dirt at him.

 _I can't beat this guy..._

" _LET ME SPEAK WITH POE NOW!"_ shouts his mother from Ben's pocket. He and Poe jump startled up as they had forgot she was still on the line. Even Finn wakes up and looks disoriented.

"Wha...First order!?" Finn looks around alarmed but Poe shakes his head. "No, just the resistance."

"Huh?" asks Finn in groggy voice while Ben takes the comm-link from his pocket and stares at it suspiciously: "What for...?"

" _None of your business, I need to talk to him,"_ she snaps at him, clearly still angry over him throwing her into her pocket when she was still talking.

 _She must want to talk about the map after all...or some other resistance stuff._

Ben throws the comm-link to Poe who catches it easily despite the suddenness of the throw and the fact that he used the force. Ben is disappointed he managed to grab it as he was hoping to see him scrambling like a fool on the floor after it.

"Yes, general?" Asks Poe in his most serious resistance voice. "Wait, just minute." He waves Ben away but Finn misunderstand his hand gesture and goes outside instead to Poe's dismay, while Ben stubbornly stays.

"Go outside now..." Poe waves him outside, but Ben ignores him.

 _Na, ah, I'm listening in even though this is some top secret resistance information..._

 _ **KR: Now we are talking...it might come in handy later...**_

 _I'm not doing it for you, I'm doing it because I'm tired of mom keeping me out of everything...like lying about who grandfather was..._

 _ **KR: Oh...right...**_

* * *

" _Ben is still there?_ " asks his mother in so tired voice that Ben gets a tiny bit guilty for being one of the reasons she is exhausted and is about to go outside after all, when Poe answers: "Yes, but I can get rid of him..." He puts the comm-link on a table, rolls up his sleeve and walks over to Ben as he plans on pushing him outside and all of Ben's guilt evaporates immediately.

 _ **KR: If he touches us, I will cut him down with my lightsaber..**_

Ben reaches for his lightsaber in his belt and Poe backs away with the expression of mission aborted.

"Woah, calm down...there fella..." He looks for help from the comm-link while trying to soothe Ben like he's a wild animal.

" _No, it's okay, he can stay,...it concerns him anyway,"_ continues his mother in her tired voice.

 _Me?_

"How so?" Poe picks up the comm-link from the table.

" _You are to make sure my son is safe,"_ commands his mother which makes Ben's eyes go wide in surprise.

 _What the?!_

"Will do general..." Poe doesn't get any further ast Ben rips the comm-link from him, outraged. "Mom, I don't need the resistance to protect me. I'm far more powerful than some lousy pilot..."

"I'm not lousy," says Poe in a hurt voice.

"You don't have the force, making you lousy, for instance you will never be as good as grandpa..."

Ben doesn't get any further as his mother says in a frosty voice: " _You do as I say or I will pick you up personally and you can forgot all about searching for the map."_

Even though Ben can feel his mother's stern glare through the comm-link, he just scoffs at the empty threat: "Come on, we both know, you are far too busy for that...you always were too busy for me...saving the galaxy always came first, no wonder I tried to wreck it...the only way to get your undivided attention...!"

 _Oh, no I didn't say that outloud...!_

 _ **KR: Yes, you did.**_

 _I'm dead..._

Poe's stunned expression says the same thing and he shakes his head in silent disbelief.

* * *

" _Then I will just contact your father and have him pick you up, do you want that?"_ She asks him knowing full well how that suggestion makes him feel...sick to his stomach...

"No...mom...I will follow your commands..."

 _Not that she even knows where he is, as usual..._

" _Good...and we will talk...later about your attempt to the wreck the galaxy..."_

 _She means yelling...at me..._

"Yes, mam." He bows his head even though she can't see that gesture.

"But it would be so cool if Han Solo came." Poe has dreamy look in his eyes.

"Why?" Ben glares at him.

 _He will kill me for turning to darkside...though of course Poe would like that..._

"He's my hero," replies Poe happily.

 _Figures...they are both as annoying...but he will get over his worshipping, just as I did when he sees how he really is...not that I want him to meet him..._

" _Sadly, I don't know where he is...oops...I mean...umm..."_ his mother clears his throat awkwardly.

 _I knew it was just another empty threat from her._

"He's probably just smuggling or something...what do I care...or looking for the Falcon, he still hasn't found it has he?" asks Ben with a false bravado.

" _True...your father seems to keep losing things most precious to him..."_

 _He has lost something more than the Falcon?_

Ben stares at Poe as if he would know the answer to what his father had lost, who looks as confused as him.

"Not Chewie...? Did he forgot him on some planet? How senile is he becoming?!" Ben imagines poor Chewie growling somewhere sadly in the wilderness...though when he think better about it, Chewie would most likely be able to save himself...  
" _You know exactly what I mean,"_ retorts his mother and he can hear how she shakes her head over how thick he can be.

"No, I don't," he snaps back at her.

 _Stop speaking in half-truths!_

" _But I really wish I knew where your father is...he would be so glad to hear that you've finally come to your senses."  
_ Ben snorts. "Glad...? He will bite my head off for betraying you in the first place..."

 _And being a huge disappointment...not that he had any hopes for me anyway..._

"I would so like to see that...not literally though, general..." Poe laughs awkwardly and Ben scowls at him.

 _And mom trust this guy to keep me safe?_

" _No he wouldn't...in a way, I think it broke him more than me,"_ says his mother in mysterious voice which angers Ben more and he rants: "What's that supposed to mean? Then why didn't you try to come after me? Why did you just let me go? Why were you never there when I needed you?!"

 _Whoa where did that come from...? I'm starting to think everything out loud?!_

 _ **KR: I can still take over if you like. Seems to me your way out of your depth here...**_

"Kid, we don't have time for your family drama right now." Poe puts a hand on his shoulder.

 _Kid...only one other person calls everyone that despite their age...and that is my least favourite person right now, well except Snoke...Poe is the third worst..._

"Kid? What are you, two years older than me or something?" Ben moves away from him.

"No, I'm not seven, I'm much older than that." Poe smirks.

 _I hate this guy so much..._

Before Ben can come with a smart comeback, his mother buzzes over the comm-link: " _Poe, is right. We will talk...later. You've to go now. Be careful of the routes you take on your way here."_

 _As in don't be a idiot and turn back to the darkside..._

"Fine...I will be careful..." Ben hands the comm-link back to Poe.

" _Good,"_ says his mother relieved.

"I will also find the map and bring it and...your...prodigal son to you. We also have a defected trooper with us." Poe smiles at Finn, who stands outside the window, not far from the hut and is talking animatedly about something with Lor San Tekka, who has returned from whatever he was doing and just nod his head to whatever Finn is saying.

" _Great, I wish the First Order would just all join us to end this war...but I know that's just wishful thinking...Ben you will obey Poe at all times,"_ his mother tries to squeeze the last bit in a bit carelessly.

 _No way!_

Ben rips the comm-link back from Poe who sighs.

"I will never obey the resistance...except you of course...but that's only because you are my mom and has nothing to do with resistance...I will never obey this guy!" He points angrily at Poe, who shrugs, even though his mother can only hear them but not see.

" _I don't care what you think, you are under his care now. This is his new mission,"_ says his mother in her no-nonsense voice.

 _I'm just some stupid mission...no wait...this is worse than that..._

"Mom. I'm an adult now. I don't need a babysitter..." Ben turns away with the comm-link and whispers those words in the hope that Poe couldn't hear them.

" _I beg to differ. You do need a babysitter,"_ says his mother way too loudly, making Poe chuckle.

Ben, who has had enough of this farce, snatches his saber up, turns it on menacingly and in one swift motion cuts through the table that falls loudly to the ground. Poe stares shocked at the two halves of the broken innocent furniture, as if Ben is about to chop him down next.

Finn and Lor San Tekka, who heard the ruckus and look in their direction. Finn stares in surprise while Lor San Tekka runs a hand tiredly over his face, most likely remembering a similar sight when he babysitted him long time ago.

 _A bit of revenge for how the old man treated me then and now...and sure helped to scare that annoying rebel a bit..._

" _And Poe you are also to be arriving here safely. No, trying to ditch him...maim or...kill him, Ben, you are on the same team now."_

"And how do you plan on stopping me?" He asks her in a challenging voice.

" _If you do anything to harm him or anyone else on your way here, I swear... I will snap your lightsaber in two,"_ his mother says viciously.

"Yes, mam." Ben sighs defeated and turns off his beloved saber, knowing full from a bitter experience that at least this is not an empty threat, as she was never above destroying his toys to teach him a harsh lesson.

"I'm in charge now." Poe flashes him a winning smile.

 _Rebelscum..._

Lor San Tekka walks quickly inside, with Finn fast behind and fixes Ben with a stern look: "Ben, you know the drill." He points at a corner.

"What are you talking about...no..." Ben glances aghast between the broken table and the old man.

"You know, you never get to destroy my personal property without some consequences. Corner now." Lor San Tekka points at him and then at the corner.

Ben looks to Poe whose lips twitch as he tries to keep a serious face and not laugh at him. "He's right you know, you really need to control your temper."

Finn nods in agreement.

 _Traitor..._

Ben figures that it is quicker to just admit defeat in this battle, if he ever wants to leave that stupid hut and walks to the corner.

 _I hate everything..._

 _ **KR: Look at the bright side, this can't possibly get any worse...**_

 _Shut up Kylo..._

 _ **KR: I'm only trying to help...**_

 _Well, don't..._

 _ **KR: Fine, don't come crying to me for help...**_

Ben zones him out as he stares into the corner as he used to do way too often in his childhood and mediates in order to keep calm and don't go on a murdering rampage...again...

* * *

" _I've long since arrived and I'm checking out the the latest deals in the market. I've also hooked up with some girl and we are getting married. Where are you slowpokes?"_ Buzzes Poe over his comlink.

 _Show off._

"It's not a race..." answers Ben while he carefully pilots the borrowed shuttle he got from the old coot. He is not used to the seemly ancient controls and is not about to crash the shuttle in the middle of the desert, by making a careless mistake.

 _If I had my own shuttle, I would have beaten that bastard pilot in speed...but someone had to destroy the control panels._

 _ **KR: You annoyed me and...you could've repaired it.**_

 _The shuttle would've called for too much attention._

 _ **KR: Then why are you blaming me for wrecking stuff, you weren't even planning on using? You're always so mean to me...**_

Ben ignores his whining and focuses on flying instead. The trio or well Ben and Poe, as poor Finn woke up fully rested from his power nap without knowing the full story of what had transpired between them and just followed their lead, decided to fly to Niima Outpost and ask for information about the droid in the hope that the droid had found it's way to civilization and they wouldn't need to scan the desert for it. Ben is really optimistic about that being the case as in don't underestimate a droid, was something his mother used to say.

" _Yes, it is a race...against time! Thanks to your latest tantrum, the First Order will be an even harder pain in the ass to deal with. Though they should be used to your teenage mood swings about now."_

Ben can nearly hear Poe smirk through the com-link.

 _Smartass._

It's been a long time since anyone had dared to speak to Ben in that way, so he had to admit he was out of practice and not his best game, were it came to good comebacks.

 _Except Hux. I could always be snarky with him...but that was different..._

 _ **KR: Well, for starters, they were my comebacks and you know why, you have trouble with answering Poe...all that bickering, all that judging, reminds of you of certain someone...doesn't it?**_

Ben shuts the communication. He can't deal with any more of Poe's "jokes."

 _If only I could turn of the voice in my head, as easily..._

 _ **KR:You will never get rid of me...**_

 _Poe probably thinks I have gone rogue and will yell at me as soon as we land. Not, that I care.. despite mom having put him in charge over me...like I'm some little kid that can't take care of myself!_

 _ **KR: What did you expect? She has always been so controlling...don't admire your cool grandfather, no turning to the darkside where all the fun is...be a boring Jedi instead who can't even marry...**_

 _That's not why I turned to the darkside..._

 _ **KR: No, you did that...to get her attention...**_

 _Perhaps...a small bit..._

 _ **KR: At least that's what you told her...**_

 _Don't remind me..._

 _ **KR: Though to be honest I thought this conversation would be way worse...I excepted more yelling.**_

 _The yelling will come later._

 _ **KR: Oh...glad I'm not in your shoes...**_

 _No you are just in my head..._

 _ **KR: For now...**_

 _Forever..._

Despite his mother's strict commands and threat, Ben gets the most satisfaction out of prolonging the journey to Niima Outpost as long as possible, just to annoy Poe. Even though it could lead to Poe's capture by the First Order and therefore his only way...for now to the resistance. But somehow he didn't care, he would figure something else out. He would just make up some very convincing sob-story to tell his mom so he wouldn't take his head off or breaking his saber, for losing one of her precious rebels to the First Order.

 _ **KR: That's a very darkside thinking.**_

 _No! Just self...perseverance._

 _ **KR: Whatever you say...**_

* * *

Finn sits nervously behind him in the shuttle despite having no clue about the internal struggle in his former command officer. He is no longer wearing his armour, just the black clothes underneath it plus Poe's jacket, which he gave him before their departure, so you have something else than these vile First Order clothes, as Poe called them. The pilot was awfully overprotective of the defected trooper and wanted him to go with him in his X-wing where there were there only seats for two, but Ben refused and wanted him to go with him instead. He didn't trust Poe not to escape with the trooper, despite his generals commands as Poe could make up some convincing lie about how he lost him and get into a lot of trouble, maybe even be demoted or sacked from the resistance, if there is such a thing...

 _Maybe I should disappear to get Poe into trouble with his general...but Poe would probably just blame me and mom would of course just believe him, meaning I would get into trouble...even more than I'm already in..._

Ben groans. _I better just stick with the plan and get this stupid search over with._

And as Poe has seemed to grown fond of the defected trooper, it gives Ben some insurance that Poe won't ditch them the first opportunity he get, if he keeps him close as he know he has to be one step ahead of his...old enemy. Not to mention, that Finn is Ben's only link to the First Order and for a moment it seems like he is just on another First Order mission instead of having turned out-right traitor. It makes everything seem a little bit bearable, taking the change in small steps in changing his life, instead of the giant leap, he has already taken.

 _ **KR: Yes, because talking with the leader of the rebellion is perfectly normal for a commanding officer of the First Order...stop fooling yourself...**_

 _It could've been just a personal call, not a work one..._

 _ **KR: You can never go back now...except in chains...**_

 _Suits me just fine._

Although Finn is wary of the big changes in Kylo Ren, now Ben, he didn't object and went with him, probably because of how used he is to follow orders from his superior officers and for it Ben felt a tiny bit of guilt...or maybe Finn, also thought it helped to have some familiarity with him to adjust to the big change...maybe. Of course Poe was far from happy with Finn's decision but he accepted it, however not without glaring at Ben for keeping on using the newly freed trooper.

"Umm..." Finn asks in low voice, drawing Ben from his thoughts.

"You can call me Ben, Finn."

"Okay...Ben, shouldn't we be getting as far away from the First Order as possible? I mean..."

"That map can't end up in the hands of the First Order."

"Okay...umm, Ben...?"

"Yes...?"

"How come you suddenly changed your mind about...well everything? Did you hit your head or something? I mean it's good that your are umm good now...I'm just curious."

 _ **KR: The same could be said about you. How come you decided to ditch everything in your training...you traitor!**_

Ben ignores Kylo Ren tirade."Do you know anything about the force? About the dark and the light side?"

"A little."

"Well, I am light-side now."

 _ **KR: You make it sound like it's a cola drink...**_

"Okay, cool...but, does that mean that you can turn anytime back to the dark-side?"

"I'm never turning back."

 _ **KR: That's what you think...**_

Ben clutches his fist."Never."

"Okay...cool." Finn doesn't sound overly convinced. "How come you didn't want any disguise back in the village?"

 _I won't throw away everything yet...I'm not even used walking around without a robe...that Snoke forced me to use...to make me as uncomfortable as possible to better dip into the darkside..._

 _ **KR: It did help though...**_

"It could work to our advantage."

"But it will be awfully hot, sir...eh Ben...that is under the helmet."

"I won't be wearing the helmet."

"You won't...?"

 _Should I just leave it here? It's so heavy. But it might come in handy if I have scare people away. But at the same time I don't want to draw too much attention, I better hide it...along with my saber..._

* * *

At long last they land in Niima Outpost spaceport. Ben parks the shuttle next to Poe's X-wing, who to his dismay has not yet been captured and instead leans on his ship and glares at him with folded arms as if he's about to lecture him big time...or call his mom.

 _I will just lie that I got lost on the way on here, everything looks the same in the desert...and the comm-link broke..._

 _ **KR: I seriously doubt he will believe you...**_

"You." Poe stalks over to Ben the minute he leaves his shuttle and pokes him hard in the chest. "Why did you turn of the comm-link? Too afraid of the truth...?" Poe stops his scolding the minute he lays eyes on the former trooper behind him. "Finn, glad to see you in one piece." Poe smiles at him.

"Same to you," answers Finn shyly.

"I won't harm him." Ben glares at Poe who points him even harder in the chest. "You better not or I am telling your dad on you."

 _Where did that come from? It's not like he knows him. Does he? Huh, why should I care...? But he could report to mom..._

Ben just shakes his head and says in his commanding voice, despite the fact that Poe was made the leader: "Let's split up and ask for some information..."

"I already found my droid. It's with a girl." Poe grins victoriously and leads the way quickly through the crowded marketplace, past all the tented stalls.

 _Well, that was quick..._

* * *

"A girl?" Finn runs to keep up with him.

"What girl?" asks Ben but he is in no hurry to catch up with them, forcing Poe to slow down a little.

None of the scavengers pay them any special mind and go about their business as usual, no one seems to realize Kylo Ren is strolling casually through there and only think he is some guy dressed funny.

 _ **KR: Well technically that is true.**_

 _Good thing I hid the helmet, it would've caused panic otherwise._ Ben claps on the pouch on his back, where he hid the helmet.

 _Too bad it's so heavy..._

"How should I know. I'm not from around here. Are you even into girls?" Poe waits for Ben to catch up and is annoyed that Ben is forcing them to go at his slow pace.

"Yes."

Poe looks genuinely surprised. "Well, that's surprising."

"Why is that surprising?" Asks Ben darkly when he catches up with them and Poe just shrugs, infuriating him further.

 _ **KR: Well, I'm not or wait, it's complicated. I like Phasma too.**_

 _Too...wait have you ever seen her without the helmet?_

 _ **KR: No and like the mystery, besides she has not seen me without it either...**_

Ben shakes his head. _I've never understand your mask fetish...wait, what guy are you into? Don't tell me it's...?!_

"What about you Finn?" Poe turns to Finn, who blinks in surprise as if he hadn't been following the conversation at all and was too busy looking in every corner for any sign of the First Order. "Huh?" Finn blinks in surprise.

"What are your preferences?" asks Poe again.

Finn looks deep in thought. "Um...I don't know...I haven't had any chance...girls I think..."

Poe shakes his head. "Rotten First Order."

 _I won't waste any more time for this locker room talk..._

"Why haven't you retrieved your droid since you already found it?" snarls Ben at Poe.

 _What's the point in leading us to it...unless he just wants to annoy me...? Or prank..or trap me!_

"Well, this girl seems overly protective of it..." explains Poe.

"How so?" asks Finn before Ben has a chance to.

"She just took two guys down who tried to snatch him with her stick. It might take some convincing to get it from her...even though it's my droid," replies Poe.

"You are afraid of her?" Ben shakes his head in disbelief. "The mighty Poe is afraid of a little girl."

"Never underestimate a woman's wrath," says Poe seriously and Ben passes him, taking the lead. "Well then...we must go and convince her."

 _Do I have to do everything around here?_

 _ **KR: You miss your loyal subjects.**_

 _Do not._

* * *

Rey walks steadily through the bustling market. She has been alone for as long as he could remember, trying to survive in desert by being a scavenger, hoping one day for the return of her family.

The little BB-8 unit rolls beside her and is trying to get back to his owner, who had promised to come for him. Rey was going to make sure he would go back home safely.

 _I sure hope his owner keeps his promise to return for him, or I will hunt him down...as long as he is on Jakku..._

Suddenly BB-8 chirps happily.

"What? Your owner is already here?"

 _Well, that was quick...kind of anticlimactic...! I was hoping for a little bit of adventure...more than just having to beat off Unkar Plutt's thugs, but that's nothing unusual...but of course as long as the adventure takes only place here on Jakku...I can't leave. It would be so typical if my family would return the minute I have left the planet!_

Rey is startled from her thoughts when the droid starts to chirp in anxiety.

"What! He's with your biggest enemy? Is he a prisoner or something?"

 _That's more like it...though I hope his owner isn't in some awful peril...I better rescue him before he's taken away here!_

Rey looks in the direction of BB8's panic and pets him. "Don't worry."

 _I will protect you and save your owner._

She dashes towards a black clothed man with vengeance in mind, with BB8 rolling after her, equally as mad.

* * *

 _Next up: The (new) meeting of Rey and Ben..._


	4. Meeting Rey of light

_AN: Thank you so much for the follows, favorites and reviews! You guys rock, glad to see people are enjoying this silly cuteness (and later on a bit of a dark angst) as much as I love writing it...and as_ _I had to divide this super silly chapter in two, the next chapter shouldn't be too far behind..._

 _Flowergirl: Thanks for your lovely review and ideas! I will try to add most of them in rewriting, some are already present..._

 _There will be talk of a wedding. ;) And great idea, I will certainly add the talk about grandchildren..._

 _Technically, this is not a punishment fic...even though poor Ben will get punished a lot (but never too harshly!) in different traditional and old style ways by different people...he will even get lines to do...the poor kid doesn't seem to be able to catch a break..._

 _Among other things, he will get...swatted, but not by his uncle (though I might reconsider as it would be...a bit hilarious...poor Ben!). At least his uncle has something special planned for him when they meet at the end of the story... ;)_

 _Han and Chewie are in chapter seven. ;) A very different scene than in the movie..._

* * *

Chapter four - Meeting Rey...of light

Ben watches as a crazy woman advances on him through the tented stalls like a fighting bull. She looks murderous, as if he had murdered her whole family or something.

 _ **KR: Wow, that's some darkside material...**_

 _Why is she so mad at me? Does she even know who I am?_

 _ **KR: Beats me...maybe she hates your hair or something...**_

Ben is caught between should he run or fight her, yet for some reason he stays.

The scavengers in the tented stalls look alarmed and watch after where the woman is running, but as she gets closer, a little orange and white BB unit, becomes visible beside her and seems to be just as mad as her for some reason.

 _Wait, isn't that...?_

 _ **KR: The droid I was looking for...**_

"Shouldn't we run?! That woman and droid looks like dangerous...!" Finn is about to run away, but Poe pulls him back by his collar and turns grinning to Ben as if he had set it all up. "Ah, that's the girl I told you about...with my droid."

"What girl!? I was expecting a child...this is a young woman!" snaps Ben at him as the mad woman keeps getting closer, with the droid he now knows is BB-8.

 _ **KR: I knew this was a trap! Gah! Her light is blinding me!**_

 _What the...are you talking about? Since when are you a vampire?_

Then Ben feels the same, as if a strong bolt of light is running his way except unlike Kylo's case it doesn't make him feel ill...but instead at a peace.

 _I've never met anyone so strong in the force...so strong in the light...and the darkness..._

He stares mesmerized as the angry woman draws closer to him, with the droid rolling madly after her and all of a sudden, he stares into the blue sky as she knocks him hard onto the sandy ground with her staff.

He lands right onto the back pouch hiding his helmet, hurting his back in the fall and on top of it BB-8 saps him.

"Ouch!"

And as always Poe dares to laugh at him while Finn still looks like he wants to run away.

 _ **KR: Ahaha you lost to an untrained girl! I would never lose to one...and if the helmet broke because of the fall, I will break her...**_

 _I didn't lose! And the helmet is stronger than that...I'm more worried about my back! Wait, untrained...really? But she is so strong in force, what a waste!_

Understandably a woman running like mad, had caused some commotion in the marketplace, so most of the people, aliens and droids have gathered around them and hang onto their every word to understand what's going on.

"He says you're Kylo Ren of the First Order," the woman says matter of factly and when Ben tries to get up and away from the sapping droid not her, as he doesn't mind that much being trapped under her for some strange reason, she pushes him down with her staff.

 _Oh no, she know who I was...how?! He? She understands the droid? Ah, that explains her rage...a bit..._

"Kylo Ren!" shouts one of the bystanders in fright.

"It can't be, he doesn't have a helmet!" shouts another, as if he thinks the helmet is permanently stuck on Kylo Ren's head.

 _ **KR: I'm more than just a helmet!**_

"Ssh, not so loud!" Finn yells even louder, but then he whispers. "We are not with the First Order anymore."

"Ren... is one of the good guys now..." says Poe as if he still doesn't believe it and the snoopy bystanders share that same disbelief as they shake their head and murmurs among themselves, yet loud enough for Ben to hear each and every word and some even speak languages he doesn't know and to be frank he doesn't care, as he only sees the woman in front him.

"Must be some make believe game."

"Kylo Ren would never betray the First Order."

"Or have no helmet."

"Must be a play...or something..."

 _ **KR: That is so true! Finally someone who gets it! Did you hear that Ben?! Ben...?**_

Ben is too busy gawking at the mysterious woman on top of him, to even care what his dark self is saying or the audience around him. He only sees her.

 _She's...so...beautiful...like the sun..._

 _ **KR: So cheesy...and are you just going to lie there all day?**_

 _No, more like a star...shining so brightly in the darkness of the sky..._

 _ **KR: Don't start composing bad love poetry! Stay with me! And she's more like a meteor as she has crashed on you! And crushed your brain apparently as well...**_

"Good guys?" The woman, who thankfully has no idea of the bad love poetry being composed under her nose, glances at BB-8 who either doesn't hear this breaking news or doesn't care, as he continues to sapp him and even though Ben is used to pain from the darkside training, this is far from a pleasant experience and the sapping finally wakes him up from his love trance.

He stares up at Poe and hopes against all odds, that he will explain things to his sappy-happy droid and get him to stop electrocuting him.

 _He's supposed to protect me after all..._

"Yes, apparently. BB-8 stop sapping him..okay one more...maybe two...or three," says Poe teasingly and BB-8 is all too happy to obey his owner.

 _Okay two can play at that game...I will report everthing you do to me to my mom...you bully!_

 ** _KR: Or you can just take care of him yourself..._**

 _Or that.._

"Poe, you..!" Ben finally has enough of electric shocks and force pushes BB-8 away, who chirps in fright, but for a moment Ben forgot he could use the force himself as he was too focused on the woman. "I'm gonna kill you!"

He jumps to his feet and shakes his fist at him, but when he sees the shocked looks of Finn's and all the snoopy bystanders, but most importantly on the woman's face, he adds in milder voice: "I didn't mean that literally...of course..." He gets flustered and rubs his neck.

 _That's just one way street back to the dark-side... And mom strictly forbid me to kill..._

Poe just smirks despite the death threat, Finn looks relieved, but the woman stares curiously at him, forcing Ben to turn away from her as he blushes furiously.

 _Please...don't stare at me...!_

The snoopy bystanders nod their head as one, as if hey had reached a conclusion.

"Ah, this must be some street performers."

"Some happening."

"Definitely a play."

"Must be a improv...bit of overacting if you ask me..."

"Must be a resistance play, the First Order would never allow one like this."

"Kylo Ren would kill the playwright."

 _ **KR: You're so right!**_

 _Go away...I want to speak with...her alone..._

 _ **KR: You don't even know her name...**_

 _Then I will find it out...I mean ask her..._

* * *

Unluckily for Ben, Poe thinks this is all very funny and continues to act in the fake play and therefore destroys Ben's fantasy of being alone with the mysterious woman by bringing him to the harsh reality, which ironically the bystanders think is only a play.

"Consider it a payback from when you held me suspended in the air, for a very, very long time, turned off the com-link and oh, not to mention for all the trouble you have caused the galaxy through the years." Poe crosses his arms and isn't in the least frightened by Ben's death threats, as he know he can't do anything to him or his mom will be mad and punish him.

"It wasn't me. It was all Kylo Ren," says Ben annoyed that he has to repeat himself endlessly and hates the fact that they have an audience to their fighting, beside Finn, BB-8 and the mysterious woman, who he really just wants to go somewhere alone with and get to know better, especially her name...

 _ **KR: You turned off the comm-link...remember...that is if there is one brain cell left in you...**_

"I thought he was Kylo Ren..." says the nameless woman to Finn, instead of asking Ben directly which spikes a bit of jealousy in him and Finn replies: "It's complicated...my story is similar..." Finn blinks her and Rey seems puzzled over what that gesture means, but Ben knows exactly what Finn's game is.

 _Oh, no you don't get to flirt with her! Not on my watch!_

 ** _KR: Yes, give in to your anger!_**

Ben scowls at Finn and clenches his fist, who seem to be taken back by his sudden rage directed at him instead of Poe and blinks innocently.

The audience looks as confused as the woman over what is happening.

"What kind of story is this?"

"Are they actors or part of the audience?"

"I don't understand the plot."

"Maybe there isn't one..."

Ben, who has had enough of these prying bystanders, turns swiftly to them and shouts: "Maybe if you would just shut up for one kriffing second, you might find out!"

 _ **KR: So true, I also hate people who speak during plays...or movies...**_

The audience looks shocked and Ben hopes that this will be enough to chase them away, but no so such luck as they look to be even more excited.

"Oh, so this is one of these interactive plays."

"I've never been at one of those."

"So we are part of the story, that's cool, I guess..."

"But he's right, it's better to stay quiet and listen...and pay attention."

"Good idea."

 _Seriously, can't they just leave...and mind their own business?!_

* * *

Poe, who is enjoying this tremendously, picks up from where they left, as if nothing had happened and frowns at Ben mockingly: "That's a childish thing to say. Good thing, you are going back to your family to set you straight." He shoves him playfully onto one of the stalls, making him lose temporarily balance.

"Shut up, Poe!" snaps Ben at him and shoves him harshly back.

"Back to your family..." The woman looks spellbound by that one sentence and covers her mouth as if she's about to cry.

 _ **KR: Woah...what's up with that reaction?**_

 _Something awful must have happened to her..._

"Ah, so this is a family drama," declares, some know it all in the audience.

Ben and Poe stop fighting and Finn is the first to voice his concern aloud:"Are you alright?"

 _Damn! He beat me again!_

But the woman doesn't seem to hear Finn as she turns to Ben and asks: "How did you do that?"

 _Hah! She ignored Finn! I won!_

 _ **KR: No, clearly she doesn't want to talk about her family...you only serves as a distraction from that painful topic...**_

 _Well, it's better than nothing..._

Finn looks crestfallen over being ignored while Ben raises an eyebrow. "Do what exactly?"

"That...push-thingy?" The woman makes some adorable hand gestures and pushes BB-8 a bit to replicate what he did with BB-8 earlier who chirps something angrily at her.

"Oh, sorry BB-8." She gives him an apologetic smile.

"Oh, that...I used the force." Ben answers as if that is the answer to everything but the woman just stares at him as if he was speaking a language she doesn't understand, even though she understands the droid perfectly. "The what now...? And who might you be?" She turns to Poe, who gives her his annoying winning smile.

"I am Poe Dameron. I'm from the Resistance." He pulls from his pocket a badge with the resistance signal.

"The Resistance?" The girl looks awed and Ben shakes his head, unimpressed. "They are way overrated...I'm just tagging along with them on the same mission..."

"I'm his temporary guardian." Poe smirks and Finn interjects quickly before Ben has a chance to murder Poe for those words or for the woman to ask any embarrassing questions: "I'm Finn...I'm one of the good guys too." He puts forth his hand for a handshake.

"Are you also part of the resistance?" The woman gazes at him excited, but Finn looks a little deflated. "No...but I'm still one of the good guys...I promise."

He smiles at her, but as the woman has some trust issues even though she seems to trust Ben for some reason, looks to Poe for confirmation who answers: "Yeah, he is too and this is my droid. Thanks for taking care of it." Poe pets BB-8 who chirps happily that Poe is finally showing him some attention. "You have done well, my friend."

"My pleasure. Bye, BB-8." The woman waves so sadly at the droid, as if he's her only friend in the whole world.

"We have to hurry. Any minute the First Order will show up," remarks Finn, though he seems sad to leave the woman behind. "Nice meeting you...sorry I haven't got your name..."

 _It's true...we all gave our names...is she hiding something? Why is she so strong in the force?_

 ** _KR: She still thinks your name is Ren...my name..._**

 _Well, then I will just correct that awful misunderstanding..._

"It's...why are you staring at me?" The woman frowns at Ben, who can't take his eyes off her.

 _There is something awfully familiar about this woman..._

 ** _KR: Are you talking about the fact that she is wearing a very similar hairstyle as your mother used to wear? Has the same temper as her and is dressed not unlike your uncle when he lived on Tatooine? Not to mention how strong she is in the force..._**

 _No, it more like...I feel like I've met her somewhere before...maybe in a dream..._

 _ **KR: I've never met her...but I've heard about her...**_

 _What do you mean?_

 _ **KR: No comment. Except the fact that she is...maybe the reason you turned to darkside...**_

 _What?! You're joking._

 _ **KR: No comment.**_

 _Well anyway, she is full of light...as well as darkness. She could help me get rid of you..._

 _ **KR: In...your...dreams...**_

* * *

"Is he just gonna stare at her?" asks someone in the audience.

"Stop staring at me," the woman scowls at Ben warningly with her hand on her hips.

 _But I need to know...who are you really? And why do I feel...such a strong connection to you?_

 ** _KR: How about just asking her...?_**

 _Can't...too shy..._

"Stop freaking the poor girl out," rebukes Poe him and Finn nods in agreement, though he is kind of staring at her as well.

"I'm not freaked out...just annoyed..." The woman glares at Ben. "Really, don't you have any manners?"

 _ **KR: She ran you down and has the nerve to say you've no manners!**_

"Sorry..." Ben looks down dejected over having been scolded and not having been able to get through her mind shields.

However, that one meek gesture seems lowers her shields which he had tried without vain to get through, and for a minute his mind gets transported right into hers.

* * *

He sees the woman, on Jakku as a small child, Rey is her name, screaming desperately after a shuttle for it to return, while holding a meaty hand of someone, who tells her to shut up. But before Ben can get any more information Rey throws up a force mind field, seemly unconsciously casting him outside of her mind.

* * *

Ben pants after that sudden trip, back and forth. The rest of the gang and the audience stares confused at his exhaustion, as to them he hasn't moved a muscle.

"Must be the heat," one of the know it all in the audience says, but Ben doesn't care for their comments as he still reeling from what he saw.

 _ **KR: Interesting. What does she have to hide?**_

 _At least I got her name..._

 _ **KR: And her sob backstory.**_

 _Hey, it is very sad...being abandoned by her family like that...Geesh, leaving a child alone at that age...on desert rock...and I thought my parents were bad!_

 _ **KR: Whatever you say. I personally think family is overrated and makes you weaker. Just look at how your mom is controlling you now.**_

 _Shut up Ren...though, you do I have a point..._

 _ **KR: Right, I'm always right.**_

 _No, you're not._

 _ **KR: Name one time I wasn't.**_

Ben ignores him, even though he could name at least hundred times and turns to the woman who he feels must be comforted, because she's about to lose BB-8, her only friend in the whole world. "I'm really really sorry, Rey, but the droid must get back to the resistance."

"The resistance...wait how do you know my name?" The young woman now with a name stares at him along with the surprised audience. "I never told you it."

Finn and Poe stares at him as well, but both sternly as they know Ben must have used some kind of a force mind probe to get this delicate information, which would explain his intense staring at her before.

 _Oops...I slipped up._

 _ **KR: Idiot...**_

"The force told...me..." he replies awkwardly.

 _ **KR: No, you spied on her...in her mind.**_

Rey, who is the only one, except the audience, who hasn't got a clue about the mind probe, frowns in disbelief. "The force is behind everything? But I really have to go home now, glad to see BB-8 found its owner. Nice meeting you." She waves at them and turns to walk away.

"Nice meeting you..Rey," says Finn and Poe just smiles after her, while both BB-8 and Ben are sad to see her leave so he doesn't want to say goodbye and the audience looks disappointed as well.

"What...is the play over?"

"This was so short..."

"Well, it was with no admission fee, what do you expect?"

 _They are right...I can't let it end like this!_

"You could come with us," calls Ben after her and she yells a bit annoyed over her shoulder: "Thanks for the offer..but I have to stay here."

"I can help you find your family!" He yells after her.

* * *

Rey stops and turn around, dumbstruck and the twist gets the audience talking as well.

"Aw, how cute."

"Definitely not the real Kylo Ren."

"You were skeptical?"

"Now the story is really starting."

 _Where did that come from? The first unselfish thing I have done since my return._

 _ **KR: You will score some light-side points for this. Congratulations...the first thing you do is hitting on the first girl you meet.**_

 _I'm not hitting on her..._

 _ **KR: Flirting then...**_

"Really...?" Poe lifts an eyebrow sternly and BB-8 does something similar.

"It's not fair that you know more about her than us," say Finn. "I mean it's rude...I wouldn't use information like that to...pick up girls."

But Rey, who doesn't care how Ben got the information in the first place, saunters over to Ben and this time she is the one who can't stop staring at him. "Who are you...really?"

She squints her eyes and seems to see right into his soul as she says in dazed voice: "You...You are afraid...you were lost...but now you are going back home...back to your family..." Ben can see the longing in her eyes.

 _She can read my mind as well! What can't this woman do?!_

"Trying to..." Ben mutters as Rey keeps staring him down.

It is unnerving how this girl can read him like an open book, so he puts up shields before she can see anymore, especially the darkness in his soul.

Rey, who for a moment seemed to be in trance wakes up, and she blinks in confusion.

"What was she doing?" someone in the audience asks and Finn, Poe and BB-8 look shocked over her ability as well, though they are closer to knowing what it is, than the clueless spectators.

"I'm sorry, I don't know how I did that! I didn't mean to pry..." Rey looks frightened out of her mind by her unknown power and she grabs her head in panic.

 _She needs training..._

 _ **KR: I told you so...**_

"Don't worry...it was just the force..." says Ben and is about to explain all what that is for an eager student when Poe rudely interrupts him: "Hey! As much as I like picking up girl as the next one. We really don't have time for this."

 _Spoilsport..._

"Yeah, we have to get away from the First Order as soon as possible," says Finn and looks tired of having to repeat the obvious.

BB-8 chirps in agreement.

"This First Order..." says someone in the audience, as if he or she had forgotten they were an important factor in the play.

"Must be the knights...it wouldn't make any sense to send anything less after Kylo Ren," says one know it all.

 _The knights...I really am not in the mood to meet them and maybe the First Order won't come after all...maybe they just decided to ditch me and the search for the map...and start over..._

 _ **KR: You wish. They are most likely thinking of doing something terrible to you.**_

 _Yeah, like making me wait for them..._

 _ **KR: Waiting can be torturous...**_

* * *

"I know she is pretty and all..." says Poe, but Ben snaps at him:"That's not the only reason. She's strong in the force."

 _I can feel great light but also...darkness..._

"How...do you know so much...do you know anything about my family?" Rey looks desperate for any answers.

"Sadly, no, but I can help you find it," says Ben.

"How?" asks Rey.

 _I've no idea, to be honest...DNA test?_

"This droid has a map that leads to Luke Skywalker." Finn says to fill up the silence while Ben is thinking of some plan to find Rey's family.

"Luke Skywalker? Is he your father?" asks Rey innocently, but he question angers Ben who answers curtly. "No."

 _Thank the force..._

"Just my uncle," says Ben to clarify her confusion.

"Luke Skywalker, the last Jedimaster is his uncle?" asks the audience, who to Ben' annoyance still hasn't left.

"Yeah, right. Definitely, someone wrote that play, who knows nothing about Kylo Ren or how he works."

 _ **KR: True, he's not my uncle...**_

 _It's bad enough that he's my uncle...though mom likes him...for some reason...wait could Rey be his...daughter? Could explain our connection, similarities to mom and why she so strong in the force. But would uncle really leave his child in such a horrible place...? Maybe this was some stupid test and he forgot her there? I wouldn't put it past my uncle to do something so stupid..._

"You know him?" Poe and Finn look surprised at Rey and Ben looks curiously at her as well, but Rey shakes her head: "Not really...I just thought he was a myth."

 _ **KR: Hah! Luke is already just a myth! He could've just as been dead to people...**_

 _The audience knows who he is._

 _ **KR: Okay, then just to Rey...**_

"No, he's alive and kicking...at least the last time I saw him..." says Ben hurriedly to drown out the dark voice in his head and decides not to go any further into that story, although Rey looks eager to hear more, judging from her beautiful eyes, who are brimming with curiosity...

 _Such beautiful eyes..._

"We have to go now!" Poe literally has to pull Ben away from Rey by pulling his arm.

"Are you sure you won't come with us?" Ben looks pleadingly at her. "It's an awful waste of your talents just to be a scavenger...you could be a Jedi!"

"How do you know I am a...? Oh, right the force told you. No, thanks for the offer though. It is very kind of you. No one has ever...offered to help." Rey smiles sadly.

 _Kind...I never thought anyone would call me again...kind..._

 _ **KR: Me neither**... **I'm insulted** **..**. **a kind dark** **J** **edi!**_

Poe stops pulling Ben away from her. "Kind? Do you have any idea who this man is...or was? What he has done?"

Finn nods in agreement with Poe and BB-8 does as well.

 _Traitor, didn't I save him from the First Order? But of course he's trying to steal Rey away from me..._

"It's all in the past. I'm trying to make amends for it," says Ben hurriedly and glares at Poe, for bringing it up when he had scored some high points with Rey for suggesting to help her find her family.

 _Don't you dare tell her anything about my dark past or I swear I will hunt you down..._

"Correction, your mom is picking up the pieces for you," says Poe and smirks.

 _Oh...great of course he had to drag my mom into this..._

"His mom?" Rey looks around as if she's expecting his mom to be nearby and figuratively pick up the pieces for him, which is even more humiliating.

"She is the leader of the resistance," explains Poe.

The audience gasps over that revelation.

"So wait, if Luke is his uncle...and Leia is his mother and then his dad must be..." one in the audience says and whispers something excitedly to someone beside him.

"No way," the other breathes out and they other snickers as they had solved some difficult puzzle. "So his grandad is?"

"Yeah."

"No wonder he turned to the darkside." The audience inspects him closely, albeit far away or Ben would be far too tempted to chop them down.

 _Why didn't I stop this farce a long time ago?!_

But even though Ben hates to admit it, Poe is right about his mother as she is indeed doing her best to fix the things he did. For instance, his mom had sent some from the resistance to help rebuild and guard Lor San Tekka's village in case the First Order would try to burn it to the ground again as a revenge for Kylo Ren betraying them.

 _Not that I care what happens to that village...especially that old coot..._

 _ **KR: Someone is carrying a grudge over that corner time...**_

 _It wasn't just corner time! He also told my mom and she lectured and threaten me for breaking that table..._

* * *

" _I'm so disappointed, one minute you are a hero and the next you are back to your old ways, destroying personal things...with your lightsaber," lectured his mother him over the comm-link._

" _It was an accident...," he answered lamely after having spent thirty minutes in the corner._

" _Don't you dare lie to me."_

" _Sorry..."_

" _This is your last chance. You better be on your best behavior the whole time or...I swear I will put you over my knee...in front of the whole resistance..."_

 _She can't do that, so it's only an empty threat, but still mortifying, especially with Poe listening to everything!_

 _Poe, who was close by, pretended not to hear anything, but most likely was just filing it away for future jokes to torment him with. Finn was gratefully outside, making a new table for Lor San Tekka while the old coot was talking to someone in the resistance who had arrived to help rebuilding the village and guard it._

 _But wow, is she pissed at me...for breaking a stupid table..._

 ** _KR: This is about more than a just table...but what did you expect? Things won't be easy...you were already in trouble..._**

 _She goes from threatening to break my saber to corporal punishment...what next? Jail time?_

 _ **KR: She will probably throw in a grounding too, if you ask her nicely...**_

" _I promise I will behave...but I'm not a kid..." reminded Ben her for the hundredth time.  
_ " _You are my kid and therefore my responsibility," said his mother, somehow both furiously and sweetly._

 _Why now? She didn't really try to stop me as Kylo Ren.._

 _Ben could just imagine how some of the conversations in the resistance base had gone if that had been the case._

" _That Kylo Ren killed countless people again...general, can't you control your stupid kid?!"_

 _Of course mom probably lied about me turning like everything else_... _I was most likely just killed by Kylo Ren_... _I wonder how she will explain this now to the resistance...? I wonder if she managed to...contact father..._

* * *

"Hello...are you still with us? Are you having a flashback inside of a flashback or something?" Poe waves a hand in front of Ben's face. "When was the last time you ate anything or drank?"

"He looks white," remarks Finn. "I hope he's not about to pass out..."

BB-8 chirps worriedly.

"I can try to find some food!" Rey is about to run away, but as Ben is having none of that, he grabs her hand. "It's okay, I'm fine."

"You are sure? Rey looks worried.

Ben nods and lets go of her hand even though he doesn't want to. "Just tired."

She smiles, as she has no idea how screwed up his life has become. "Okay."

 _ **KR: Why didn't you let her go home? The First Order could be on their way. You don't want her dragged into your mess...**_

 _I will protect her if they show up._

 _ **KR: Yeah right...**_

"As his mom is my boss, he's my new mission." declares Poe, who doesn't mind the audience at all and seems to love dropping random info dumb lines, pats Ben shoulder, but he shakes his hand off.

 _Don't you dare be friendly with me!_

"Oh..." says Rey, still confused and looks at Ben for answers. "So are you going back to your uncle...or mother?"

The audience looks confused as well.

Ben groans inwardly. "I'm going back to the resistance with the map that lead to Luke Skywalker's the last Jedi hideout, but the resistance needs his help to defeat the First Order."

 _See, no need to make this all about my family...this not just personal..._

 ** _KR: And whose fault is that your uncle is in hiding?_**

 _Yours..._

 ** _KR: I doubt that your family sees it that way..._**

 _Then I will make them see it my way..._

"Oh, okay. I think I understand now." Rey smiles at BB-8 who doesn't seem to understand anything as it looks quickly from his owner to Ben and chirps something, that sounds a lot like holy moly, this is weird!

The audience nods happy with the info dumbing, so they can still follow along.

Finn, who has given up following the plot in their play or flirting with Rey for now, glances around quickly as he's excepting the First Order to suddenly drop out of the air or jump out of the ground, thankfully there is still no sign of them anywhere.

 _They are really...really slow..._

 _ **KR: I wonder if something happened to them...or if their are too busy burning the village back to the ground and killing the resistance...and Lor San Tekka...**_

 _I hope they are just lazy...and taking their time..._

 _ **KR: So you do care about the village after all...**_

"Well, I'm doing my part to fix things too," says Ben and ignores the voice in his head.

For a moment neither Poe, the new gang nor the audience seems to not know what he is talking about, then it dawns on Poe. "Such as...?"

"Turning to the lightside, bringing the map to the resistance..." Ben frowns at him for stating the obvious.

 _Not killing you..._

 _ **KR: That's just because he has to report everything back to your mother..."**_

"About damn time you did something right in your life!" says Poe and slaps his back in a playful manner.

 _Stop touching me!_

Ben moves quickly over to Rey, far away from Poe, who shrugs and pats BB-8 instead.

"Speaking of time...we are out of one..." Finn gulps audible and points straight ahead.

Rey turns her head and visibly pales at whatever she sees.

"Why do you say that...? Oh..." Poe gets a bit pale and BB-8 chirps loudly in anxiety.

"So the First Order has finally arrived...lets see what they brought us..." Ben walks over there with great dread in his step.

 ** _KR: My knights, my knights!_**

 _Please, not the knights, not the knights!_

* * *

 _Next up: The First Order has finally arrived..._


	5. The First Order arrives

_AN: Thanks for the reviews, follow and favorites! You guys rock so much, so here is the next chapter..._

 _I love their banter too..._

* * *

Chapter five - The First Order arrives

Ben stares dumbfounded at what he sees in the tent in front of him and back at his gang, who stares at the two troopers who are talking casually to some thugs, as if is they are the most dangerous thing they have ever seen.

"This can't be it, can it?" says the audience behind him disappointed and Ben feels the same way, even though he's a bit relieved.

 _Finally the First Order show up and what...no knights...and yeah super terrible, two troopers. They are sure underestimating me! I'm greatly insulted!_

 _ **KR: The troopers are just for the map...they are most likely sending the knights after you. But the map comes first...**_

 _So I am not their top priority?_

 _ **KR: The galaxy doesn't revolve around you...**_

Ben turns to Rey. "They saw you with me. You are marked now."

 _ **KR: I just told you they are after the map! And they haven't even looked in your direction yet! They are probably just on their coffee break or something...**_

"Well, thanks for that," says Rey bitterly as she knows she can't return home now.

 _ **KR: Well done, she hates you now.**_

 _Does not._

"I can just take out these troopers," says Ben and shrugs as if it is as easy as taking out the trash.

Poe knits his brows, BB-8 does something similar while Rey looks skeptical, maybe because she could so easily run him down, but that didn't really count as he kind of let her do it for some reason and Finn looks sad by that proclamation.

 _I thought he was afraid of the First Order?_

 _ **KR: Could be friends of his.**_

 _Oh, right...I hope not..._

Ben takes Kylo Ren's helmet out of the pouch, inspects it and smiles.

 _Not a single scratch despite the fall!_

 _ **KR: Come on, you just want to play a hero in front of Rey. Why do you even need the helmet?**_

 _All heroes wear a mask...I mean, not many in the First Order have seen me without it. They might not take me seriously...wait how come BB-8 recognized me without the helmet? Is he force sensitive?_

 _ **KR: No, you idiot...he must have seen you without it in the village...**_

 _But didn't he leave before I took it off?_

 _ **KR: I...don't overthink it!**_

* * *

The audience who had grown quite bored after seeing the threat were only two troopers and also because they others in Ben's gang are only staring at Ben, who is staring at his helmet, grow interested again when at last they realize what helmet it is.

"Is that Kylo Ren's helmet?"

"Must be fake."

"It's not very well done."

"The saber will probably look as fake as well."

Ben ignores the audience comments even though they annoy him as he is too busy staring at his helmet and a scary thought comes into his mind.

 _Will I turn into you again if I wear this?_

 _ **KR: Do you really think I would tell you if that were the case?**_

 _I feel dark energy coming from it..._

 _ **KR: You're imagining it...it's just a helmet for crying out loud! Oops...I mean...**_

 _Hah, got you to reveal the truth! Thanks!_

But when Ben is about to put on his helmet, Poe grabs his wrist. "That wouldn't be wise. The little I know about the darkside, is that killing is one of the things that leads you straight back there..."

"I'm not taking orders from you Poe, you're not my father!" shouts Ben at him without thinking, silencing everyone even BB-8 who chirps at everything.

 _ **KR: That was weird...**_

Even the audience who knows who his real father is or at least in the play, so it not exactly a great twist to them, gawk at him.

"Umm..." Ben, who gets flustered by getting even more attention than before, hides his face behind the helmet.

"Thank your lucky stars that I'm not, I would ground you for life!" replies Poe sternly as he is never stumped by anything Ben says and rips the helmet away from him.

"Haha...very funny..." Ben rips the helmet back from him.

 _Though my father would probably do that...among other things...if he ever got his hands on me..._

Poe rips the helmet back and soon he and Ben are in tug of war over it.

"Father, mother, uncle...? Is he maybe your brother...cousin or something?" ask Rey, the one without a family, utterly confused along with the audience, as she tries in vain to keep a track of Ben's ever growing family tree.

She looks at BB-8 and Finn who, looks as lost as her, as Finn continues watching in dread the First Order troopers, who are casually speaking to the thugs and have not once looked in their direction.

"No!" shouts both Ben and Poe outraged over that implied family connection between them and continue pulling the helmet to each side.

"His father is a hero," declares Poe and pulls the helmet to his side.

"My father is an idiot," snaps Ben and drags the helmet back over to him.

Ben could've just as well punched Poe in the face with those words, so he growls at him: "How dare you?"

"I know him better than you," says Ben in kind of bragging voice.

 _I know everything about your so-called hero and I'm not telling you anything!_

"Then I'm really curious about what your father would do to you..."

 _Seriously, what's up with his obsession with my father? He can keep him if he wants to..._

 _ **KR: You know, you don't mean that...**_

"Well, you will never find out. So how about letting me do my things my own way." Ben rips the helmet away from Poe and jumps far back so he can't take it as easily from him.

Poe snorts and gives up on getting the helmet back. "Yeah, that has worked so well so far."

 _Jerk...though he has a point._

 _ **KR: Does not.**_

But, just as Ben is about to put the helmet of his dark past on his head, Finn stops him by taking his arm: "Wait, these are FN-2145 and FN-1897..."

"How can you tell them apart?" asks Poe bewildered and Rey, BB-8 and the audience looks as stunned.

"Friends of yours?" asks Ben, who is not stumped by Finn's ability to tell two identical troopers a part as he can do the same.

 _He must be force sensitive..._

 _ **KR: First BB-8 and now you think that about a lowly...trooper...sure the force is behind almost everything, but give me a break...he obviously just know this as they were his comrades. No more mystery than that...**_

 _You must be fun at parties..._

 _ **KR: I'm not trying to be, you're the clown here...**_

Ben ignores him as Finn shakes his head and frowns. "Nah...they were mean to me, stuffed me down a toilet and such."

"That's not nice," says Poe and looks angry at the troopers and Rey and BB-8 nod their heads in an agreement.

"Do you want me to kill them?" asks Ben, his voice laced with venom as he hates bullies and often got in trouble in the past for trying to kill ones in the most brutal manner.

 _Mom never said anything about killing to avenge others...and come on she can't have been talking about not harming anyone in the First Order, that's just silly...!_

 _ **KR: I so hope that you will get in trouble with her for it...**_

Again Finn shakes his head. "No, that's a bit much. But scaring them away well..." He grins wolfishly and rubs his hands together.

Ben nods and grins as well. "I can do that."

At last he puts the helmet on and is instantly filled with great regret.

 _Was the view always this constricted? Was this helmet always this heavy? I can hardly breathe in this thing...I'm getting dizzy...you lied to me! This is the darkside!_

 _ **KR: Stop whining it is completely save...**_

 _I better get his over with...before the darkside takes completely over..._

 _ **KR: Whatever you say...**_

* * *

Ben, now fully dressed as Kylo Ren walks towards the troopers and the thugs, who are still talking and don't turn around until they hear him walk towards them.

 _Okay, now I just have to pick up my saber..._

However, there is no need for any lightsaber action, as the thugs run screaming for their lives the minute they lay eyes on him and the troopers do the same.

 _Hey, why did the troopers run before I even took up my saber...I've never hurt a comrade, just control panels. Also Snoke forbid me to kill them...as that would kill our budget if we had to hire a new staff daily. Like kind of happened in the Empire because of grandpa's endless killing...not that Snoke liked me destroying control panels either and Hux scolded me for it, so I kind of continued doing it just to annoy him..._

 _ **KR: Right...but now you are their enemy. Of course the troopers are...even more afraid of you.**_

 _Things surely have changed..._

"Yeah! Take that FN-2145 and FN-1897! I'm in charge now, I'm in charge now! I have Kylo Ren by side. Who is weak now, you pricks!?" shouts Finn victoriously and Ben pats his shoulder. "Take it down, they are gone now."

 _And I didn't really do anything..._

Finn rubs his neck and smiles apologetic. "Sorry...got a bit carried away..."

Poe shakes his head tiredly while Rey and BB-8 look shell shocked to where the troopers and the thugs disappeared.

"He didn't even have to take them out..." Rey is half awed, half shocked while Poe just shakes his head sternly. "I told you he wasn't a nice man." He glowers at Ben: "You know, this will all go in my...long report to your mom."

 _Wha...I didn't do anything...wrong...I think..._

BB-8 and Finn, who agrees with everything Poe says as he is their leader, nod in complete agreement.

 _This is so unfair! I was only helping..._

Ben snaps at Poe through his vocoder: "Well, it helped, didn't it? You can return home safely." He looks at Rey and reminds her that he's not a monster anymore, even though he's wearing the helmet of his past.

 _I can't take the mask off yet, I'm still in the hero role..._

 _ **KR: You're such an idiot...**_

Rey smiles when she remembers he did it for her, as well as as for Finn. "Thanks...you didn't have to do that. I can take care of myself."

But, before Ben can answer her in some cool hero-like manner, the audience who don't look as impressed start to give comments.

"Was this a part of the play...or real troopers?"

"Kind of anticlimactic, if you ask me."

"This is so strange...is this a family drama, action or a comedy?"

"This doesn't make any sense."

"But I really want to know about Rey's family."

"Yeah, where does she come from?"

"Is she related to Kylo Ren?"

Rey is shocked that they are talking about her like she isn't even there, when they most likely know her in real life and her distress, so easily felt in the force makes Ben's blood boil.

 _This ends now!_

"There is no play," says Ben/Kylo through the vocoder and turns on his lightsaber.

 _ **KR: I hate stupid critics...and theories...and everything...**_

"The helmet! This...weird...lightsaber! There is no question about...this is the real Kylo Ren!"

 _ **KR: Weird lightsaber...how dare you?!**_

Despite the fact that the "play", now revealed to be true, said that Kylo Ren had kind of joined the resistance, the audience stills looks afraid, meaning that either they were not paying any attention to the storyline or more likely don't want to risk meeting his wrath at the end of his saber or...the force, which is very wise of them.

"Ren, put away your lightsaber," says Poe in warning tone, but of course Ben ignores him and stalks dangerously over to the audience, who grows even more afraid or at least some of them.

"No, this isn't the real Kylo Ren, that saber is fake...he doesn't even have the force...so lame."

"I said...put away your lightsaber," growls Poe, but Ben is too far gone so he cares even less about what Poe is saying to him.

 _They were hurting Rey!_

 _ **KR: By...talking about her...? But, sure give into your anger, it suits me just fine...**_

"I will show you the darkside!" Ben lifts his hand up and starts choking the annoying know it all.

 _So I don't have the force? In your face! Hey, I didn't know I could still do this!_

 _ **KR: I decided to help you a bit...**_

Ben throws the annoying know it all into one of the stalls who grunts in pain.

 _ **KR: Nice, just like grandpa.**_

"Ren!" shouts Poe behind him, but Ben ignores him also because he keeps using the wrong name.

 _My name isn't Ren._

There isn't a single doubt left in the audience any more.

"This is Kylo Ren!"

"No wonder he was so rude to us!"

"But what a family story he has!"

"I kind of want to see the ending..."

"Will Kylo and Rey end up together?"

 _That's none of your business! And, no Kylo will never get her!_

 _ **KR: I'm part of you...so...**_

Ben uses the force to lift up the tented stalls, intent on throwing them at the people, but before he gets very far the audience runs away in fright, so the marketplace is soon deserted of people...aliens, droids and animals, leaving only Ben with his new shocked gang and one rolling tumbleweed.

Finally the reality of what he had done hits Ben and slowly he gets out of his power trip.

 _Oops...maybe this wasn't the brightest idea...turning on my saber...or choking people...or throwing them..._

 _ **KR: You think...?**_

 _The First Order already knew I was on Jakku...and I got rid of all the annoying audience who dared to pestering my Rey! So no harm done..._

 _ **KR: Really...your Rey?**_

 _Yeah...no harm done..._

* * *

"BEN SOLO!"

Ben nearly jumps out of his skin and with lightspeed turns off his saber and puts it away.

 _Just my luck that he would see me at my worst moment...so typical..._

 _ **KR: This is hardly your worst moment...**_

Slowly, Ben turns around, expecting to see a certain man, but is shocked to see Poe, livened and stalking dangerously over to him.

 _Dad...I mean Poe..._

 _ **KR: You really need some therapy you know...**_

"Ouch!"

 _He swatted me?! No, you...as technically it was you, as I was still wearing the helmet..._

 _ **KR: You really want to argue about this? The fact is that you got swatted like a toddler in front of the girl you like...**_

 _This sucks..._

"Hey!" Ben glares down at the BB-8 who had arrived and dared to sap him again.

"Don't sap him, BB-8," rebukes Poe and the droid chirps something shamefully.

 _What about you, how about not hitting me?!_

 _ **KR: You attacked people...**_

 _Still doesn't make it right..._

"No more dark side nonsense, this is your only warning." Poe shakes a finger at him while lecturing.

"Have you gone back to the darkside?" ask Finn, who stands beside Rey, as if Ben suddenly is the greatest threat around and he wants to run far, far away.

Rey looks a bit frightened as well.

"No, I'm still me," replies Ben quickly.

 _ **KR: I was so close...**_

Finn exhales relieved while Rey seems confused, as she has no idea of the duality in Ben.

"Then why did you do it? Help me understand," says Poe in a fatherly voice and puts hands on his shoulders.

"People were talking about Rey," replies Ben, who shakes his hands off and gets angry over the reminder.

 _Those people are nothing, but trash! How dare they speak of her?!_

Poe sighs. "And why is that a bad thing?"

"They were upsetting her," says Ben like that is some cardinal sin and looks at Rey, who looks surprised that he was thinking of her, when the truth is he hardly thinks about anything else.

"Well, I doubt Rey wants you to kill people for her," says Poe in a firm voice and Finn and BB-8 agree with him.

"I didn't kill anyone!" shouts Ben and Poe shakes his head. "Details, details."

 _Hypocrite, it's okay to kill people with blasters, but just because I can use the force I'm the bad guy..._

"Of course, I don't want that...but thanks for protecting me...though like I said...I don't need any protection really," say Rey hurriedly, blushes and turns her head away.

 _I made her blush!_

 _ **KR: And that's going to be your only "victory" for a while...**_

"See, she didn't like it either," says Poe sternly and Ben dips his helmet head."I won't happen again...sir..."

Poe knocks on his helmet. "Take off your helmet. It must be boiling your brain."

 _ **KR: Or what's left of it...**_

Ben takes the helmet off and to his shock, nearly falls over from exhaustion.

"Are you okay?" Rey asks, worried when she how he's staggering after having removed the helmet.

Poe, Finn and even BB-8 look worried as well.

"Yes..." says Ben out of breath and leans on one of the tented stalls and is very tempted to lie down down there and sleep forever.

 _The helmet...I can't put it on carelessly. But I can't throw it away either...it can still help us._

 _ **KR: You better not throw the helmet in the nearest trash can after you are done with it...not after we...lost grandad's helmet...**_

 _Are you crying?_

 _ **KR: Am not!**_

"Well, then, be careful and go straight home...to your family," Rey glares at him with her hand on her hips, as if otherwise, she would hunt him down to the end of the galaxy and hit him on his head with her staff, if he didn't follow her orders.

Ben nods fervently, straighten himself up and puts the helmet back in the pouch.

"Don't worry, I will take him home. You should go home yourself," says Poe and pats Ben's head, making BB-8 jealous that demands and gets the same treatment.

 _I'm not some lost kitten! And don't send my Rey away!_

"Thank you." Rey smiles relieved, contrary to Finn who still seem to be on his guard even though they are out of danger.

 _Is he expecting the knights to appear or something?_

"Good luck finding your own family...I mean, I hope it returns soon..." says Ben, and Poe, Finn and BB-8 for once agree with him.

"Thanks...bye..." She smiles sadly at them and waves goodbye and all except Ben wave after her, as he wants to run after her instead, but Poe holds him in place and shakes his head sternly.

 _I can't leave her here! A diamond has no place in a junk yard!_

 _ **KR: So she is a diamond now?**_

 _She's my everything._

 _ **KR: Dude, you barely know her...**_

 _Yet, I feel like I've know her my whole life..._

 _ **KR: I'm so glad she going to be out of your life soon. She has bad influences on you.**_

 _No, that's you..._

"Wait!" shouts Finn suddenly and perks his ear, as if he's listening after something.

"What?" Rey turns a bit annoyed over being delayed like that and Poe and BB-8 look questioningly at Finn.

At first Ben thinks Finn is either being overly paranoid or desperately trying to find a way to make Rey stay which he is very grateful for, but really wishes he had been the one to think of that, when he hears what must have filled Finn with this much panic.

 _An air strike? From two troopers to tie-fighters?! That's a bit excessive isn't it?_

 _ **KR: General Hux must be really mad with me...but what is he thinking, he will destroy the droid with the map!**_

 _And more importantly us! Unless I stop it..._

"Can you take out these Tie fighters too?" asks Poe, Ben mockingly, when they see a black Tie-fighter appear in the sky dropping bombs, but when Ben is about to use the force he pulls his ear making Ben ow and runs while lecturing him: "Are you insane?! I was only joking!"

 _First he swats me and now he pulls my ear! Who does he think he is?! I'm so going to kill him now!_

 _ **KR: Control your temper.**_

 _Are you telling me to..._

 _ **KR: Wait until in the rebel base and kill everyone there instead. You still need him...**_

 _No, I don't!_

 _ **KR: Your mom...**_

 _Oh...right...can't kill him yet and not in front of Rey!_

"Run!" Finn shouts the obvious even though they are already running and takes Rey's hand who is beside him and she shouts at him: "What are you doing?!"

 _Yeah, what are you doing! Why are you taking her hand?!_

 _ **KR: Jealous much...? Do you want to hold her hand?**_

 _No...I just mean, even though she's a girl he doesn't have to hold her hand like that, girls are perfectly capable of taking care of themselves..._

 _ **KR: Aha...I'm not buying it...for a second...**_

 _Okay then, it sure would beat Poe pulling me around by my ear!_

* * *

They zigzag quickly through the market tent maze with the explosions landing all around them, the bombs missing them by a hair breath and destroying the empty tents and wares.

 _The scavengers are gonna be so pissed when they see this destruction..._

 _ **KR: They will mostly like blame you...I mean me...**_

 _That's a small victory..._

 _ **KR: Oh...and what if your mom blames you too...?**_

 _I...didn't do it! I have witnesses!_

 _ **KR: But what if they all die..in the explosion?**_

 _Then I just have to make use sure...that at least one of them survives!_

 _ **KR: You mean Rey...**_

 _Of course...her..._

 _ **KR: You don't care...at all about Finn and Poe? Or BB-8! What about the map!**_

 _I just realized that mom can't blame me if Poe...along with his stupid report, died in bombing of the First Order...and if Finn died, there one less rival for me, but BB-8 will be perfectly fine...never underestimate a droid!_

 _ **KR: And I thought I was evil...**_

 _No, I'm not! I just think Rey shouldn't die...or ever...before meeting her family again...and she kind of got dragged into this mess...the poor thing...!_

 _ **KR: Yeah, yeah...**_

* * *

Even with all the ruckus Ben still manages to shout over it, as that is the only way to have a conversation and at Poe while they run into the spaceport. "Let go of my ear! And why did you stop me!? I could have-!"

"You can't take them out without a ship!" shouts Poe back, without of course letting go of his ear or even loosen the hold of it, if anything he tightens it, as if he is afraid Ben wouldn't follow him otherwise and forces Ben to run alongside him or else lose his ear.

"You don't know the powers of the force!" Ben grimaces in pain and desperately wants to either chop Poe's ear pulling hand off or forcepush him into space. The only thing stopping him from making that wish come true is that it would hard to explain to his mother what happened to Poe without getting into big trouble...

"I know it doesn't make you immortal!" shouts Poe back, who has no idea of Ben's intention and maybe doesn't even care as he has other things to worry about, like Tie-fighters bombing them.

"Well...actually...!" yells Ben, turning the heads of Rey and Finn, who are still holding hands and looks like they wouldn't mind getting that immortality now, so they wouldn't have to run for their lives through the spaceport.

Poe sighs and then he shouts: "You're impossible! What should I do with you?"

"I'm not your kid...I mean I'm not a child!" shouts Ben back, though it isn't convincing with Poe pulling his ear and running with him from deadly danger.

"That's not your choice, I've adopted you!"

"Wha...?!" Ben nearly stops in his tracks when he hears that ludicrous remark from Poe, who smirks despite the fact they could be killed by explosion any minute and continues pulling him along in this painful manner. "At least until we find your parents! You need someone to keep you on the lightside! And your mom put me in charge of you!"

 _Freaking jerk...from pure hatred to adopting me...those rebels idiot's don't have a middle ground in anything! Unless he did informally just to torment me, he sure likes to see me miserable..._

 _ **KR: And yet you want to join them.**_

 _What! I'm not joining the rebellion...I think..._

 _ **KR: Your mom will make you their mascot...**_

 _Never!_

A explosion lands close to them, knocking them off their feet and making them all, including BB-8 fall flat into the sand.

* * *

 _There is one thing good about this and that is I got Poe to let go of my ear! And thankfully without him ripping it off! But Rey, is she okay?!_

"Is everyone okay?" yells Poe, the appointed, but not elected leader and when everyone have grunted or chirped something in response, he stands up to help his temporary charge, but then he sees that Finn needs his help the most and extend his hand to him.

Ben is about to do the same to Rey before Finn steals her from him again or Poe has the bright idea to take his ear once more, when he sees to his surprise, that she runs towards him with BB-8 following behind, as if he's protecting her from the his former enemy.

"Are you alright?" she extends her hand to Ben who blushes furiously.

 _She's giving me her hand!_

 _ **KR: No, you idiot, she's just helping you stand up...**_

"Yeah...you...?" Ben answers awkwardly, as this is the second time she asks him that and he takes her hand.

She helps him stand up, but he has barely got on his feet or got any answer, when she sprints like someone who's late for appointment, without letting go of his hand with BB-8 rolling behind them.

 _There is nothing romantic about this...she's holding my hand, like a little...lost child.._

 _ **KR: Which you kinda are...**_

 _Very funny...why do everyone think they have to pull me to go along with them? Don't they think I can walk on my own? Not that I mind her...doing it..._

 _ **KR: Sigh...I'm going to sleep...wake me up when you have got your brain back...then you would see things as they are...**_

 _What's that supposed to mean?_

 _ **KR: She only picked you, because she didn't want Finn to lead her around again, she wants to be in charge always and of course, because of her obsession about family, she at least wants you get back to yours...you are her pet project...**_

 _That's awfully nice of her..._

 _ **KR: And you are the easiest to control...**_

 _I don't mind her controlling me..._

 _ **KR: Sigh...why do I even bother...**_

Poe, who doesn't seem to be able to stop pulling people with him, has Finn as his newest victim, but instead of pulling his ear, he is holding his hand and Finn hasn't objected to it in anyway, probably because he's too busy running from the bombing.

"Oh so sorry, you're not the toddler," say Poe when he at realizes he's holding hands with Finn.

 _The...toddler...?!_

Finn looks down at their intertwined hands. "What...oh...that, don't mind...it's better to stick together."

"Well put! Glad that someone can show a bit of maturity." Poe smiles at him.

 _Was that shot at me?_

 _ **KR: Of course it was.**_

 _Not fair he apologies to Finn for holding his hand, while he said nothing after taking my ear!_

 _ **KR: Would you have liked him taking your hand instead?**_

 _No...I would chop his hand off!_

 _ **KR: I rest my case.**_

 _But, why was he pulling my ear for doing things he told me to do...he asked me to take them out with the force?!_

 _ **KR: He was joking...**_

 _Well, the joke is on him! If he would've let me, we wouldn't have to run endlessly from them like idiots!_

 _ **KR: Rey seems to have plan...**_

 _Of course...she does..._

"We can't outrun them!" Finn suddenly shouts and BB-8, who is rolling like madly behind them, chirps something that sounds like he agrees.

 _Has Finn forgotten we came on two ship here? Well...technically the old coot's ship is way too slow and the X-wing is too small for five passengers..._

"We might in that quad-jumper!" Rey points straight ahead and just then a bomb blows up Lor San Tekka's ancient ship behind them.

The complete destruction of it, gives Ben a grim satisfaction even though the old coot specifically told him to take good care of it and bring the ship back in one piece after he had used it or there would be consequences...as in more corner time and more yelling by his mom.

 _Not my fault, it got blown up!_

"Hey, we are running away from my ship! We should be running towards it!" shouts Poe, who at last stops running blindly after Rey, as he takes in his surroundings after the sand and debris have settled down.

 _There are only two seats in it, you can barely take BB-8 with you...were you planning on taking only Finn, because you're sure as hell is not getting Rey!_

"Leave it! We have to find a new one!" shouts Rey as she is the one leading the way, being a native, not to mention it would be a death sentence to turn around.

"You can get it back later!" shouts Finn in a comforting voice, but Rey shakes her head and delivers the harsh truth. "I doubt it, scavengers will be all over it!"

 _Ahaha, in your face! I hope it blows up!_

Just then a bomb blows up Poe's newly repaired x-wing not far away and behind them.

 _Wow...did I do that?!_

 _ **KR: No...have you never heard about a lucky coincidence?**_

"Great...just great. It was my favorite ship you know." Poe scowls at Ben, as if it was indeed his fault that an airstrike destroyed his ship, who whistles innocently, all too happy to take the blame.

"You have more than one?" shouts Finn and looks around as he expecting to see another X-wing.

"Yes, but the others are back at the base!" shouts Poe.

"Spoiled brat," mutters Ben and despite the fact that his quiet voice should not have been heard during all the explosions, Poe shouts at him: "What did you call me? That's no way to talk to your adoptive father!"

Ben really wants to shout at him to shut up, but as he's holding Rey's hand and doesn't want to make him think ill of him, he decided to ignore Poe's teasing for the first time since this adventure began which surprises Poe greatly.

 _I did it! I ignored him!_

 _ **KR: Congratulations...**_

"What about that one?" shouts Finn innocently and points at ship behind them.

Ben looks over his shoulder and stares in great disbelief at the way too familiar Corelian IT freighter, while Poe seems giddy with joy and BB-8 chirps something worriedly.

 _What the...the Falcon is here...of all places! No, no, no!_

 _ **KR: Oh, and that's a funny coincidence!**_

"That's one garbage!" shouts Rey venomously as if that ship had had hurt someone she cares about and keeps on running straight to the quad-jumper instead.

 _Garbage...?_

 _ **KR: Haha, garbage...I know one who would have a fit if he ever heard that...**_

"Garbage?!" shouts Poe in disbelief, as if she had just said that the resistance is wrong and the First Order right, but nevertheless follows her, pulling Finn with him.

 _I'm liking this woman more and more...and thank the maker we are not taking the Falcon!_

The quad-jumper blows up right in front of them just as they are about to reach it.

 _ **KR: Guess you spoke too soon...**_

 _You've got to be kidding me!_

"The garbage will do," declares Rey and turns straight towards the Falcon, with BB-8, Finn and Poe following behind on her heels.

 _No, no, no, no! Let me be killed with bombs instead!_

Ben drags his feet, desperate to stay behind, but Rey is having none of that nonsense and pulls him with her as they run up the ramp.

* * *

 _Next up: Escape in the Falcon.._


	6. The escape in the Falcon

_AN: Rogue One is so awesome! Can't wait for Episode VIII!_

 _Thank you so much for the reviews, follows and favorites! You guys rock!_

 _This chapter might be a tiny bit more angsty and bit more "realistic" (Ben has of course, some serious daddy issues and Rey, some very serious family issues) but hopefully is also funny..._

 _I had to divide the chapter in two (next part is shorter and a bit funnier), so their meeting with Han and Chewie isn't until chapter eight..._

* * *

Chapter six - The escape in the Falcon

They enter the freighter, Rey first with Ben in tow, followed closely by Poe with Finn, who quickly hits a button and the door closes behind them.

BB-8 rolls in a nick of time and chirps angrily at Poe:" _DAD! You forgot me!"_

"So, so sorry! The gunner positions are down there," says Poe, who lets go of Finn's hand, and as the former trooper is so used to following orders, he climbs down without a word, while Rey races with Ben to the cockpit.

Rey had intended on letting go of Ben, but for some reason Ben's hand, who at first had been too warm had gone stone cold and something told her she couldn't let go of him so she nearly has to drag him the whole way.

 _What happened to him? I hope he doesn't pass out her on the floor! I wonder if he thinks we were signing our death sentence anyway by entering this junk! But what choice did we have...and we can't give up now?!_

As Ben still is frozen Rey quickly plombs him down in the co-pilot seat, throws her staff into a corner and jumps in the pilot seat.

She flips the controls, furiously while muttering. "I can do this. I can do this!"

Poe reaches over Ben and flips some switch. "The shields are up."

"Whoa! This seat is moving!" shouts Finn from the gunner position. "How do you move in this thing?!"

"I will go help Finn. Stay low, it confuses their trackers."

Rey just nods to Poe's commands, as she seems to be doing things on autopilot. BB-8 follows Poe out of the cockpit and the ships takes off...mostly without a hitch.

* * *

Everything feels so weird, like in a dream. Rey is no longer sure what is real and what is fantasy.

For a long while, she was sure she had for some reason been dragged into a stupid improv play and that BB-8 was only finding a innocent volunteer to play some part. That was one the trick the traveling troupes did, but they always tried to find a new way to surprise the easily bored and judgmental audience.

 _However, none of the plays spokes so directly to me..._

Through the years she had seen a lot of different plays, one of the few entertainments that the people of Jakku could enjoy and break up their days. Traveling troupes used to come on their tour around the system and Rey always envied them of their freedom to travel, whereas she was stuck on this planet, waiting forever. Of course, she had thought of just joining one of the troupes to find her family, by being world famous, but as she had no acting talent she quickly gave up on that dream.

There was also something that told her to stay and wait, even though she didn't understand what, maybe just the fleeting hope that her family would return to the place they left her and wouldn't find her, if she wasn't at the same place. Logic kept her prisoner, so it was good to sometimes being able to escape into a fantasy world, far, far away..

As a child she was filled with wonder and awe of the tales about the heroes the galaxy, the one who saved the galaxy from the clutches of the Empire in the past and how even Darth Vader himself, the Emperor's right hand, destroyed the Emperor to save Luke, what in a later updated play, was revealed to be his son. She knew all the heroes names by heart, Luke Skywalker the Jedi master, Leia Organa the princess, later revealed to be his twin sister and the smuggler Han Solo, the war hero, who flew the Millennium Falcon along with his co-pilot Chewie and then there were the two faithful droid, Threepio and Artoo...

But all of this was just myths, stories, none of it could be true, not to someone who had never left the planet since she was a child, as the biggest adventure she had ever experienced was finding ship parts to sell and not starve to death.

 _But maybe my family is out there trying to save the galaxy and that is why they left me...for the greater good..._

About six years ago, the stories changed and became filled with propaganda about the First Order, about some supreme leader, his right hand Kylo Ren (who for some reason was one of the good guys today) and his knights of Ren. Sometimes a resistance friendly troupe came with their side of the story and Rey was filled with dread, as she had always hoped that her family was just too busy saving the galaxy and that was why the left her and that they would come back for her when the galaxy was safe and now the fight was on once again and who knew how long that would last this time?

However, as the years flew by, the childish innocence faded slowly away, the hope in her heart died and with each passing day, she felt surer that her family were not some heroes, but some unlucky ones who had to evade some enemies or even someone who couldn't be bothered with her.

The darkness in her heart grew stronger with each passing day, she felt more bitter, but also more adamant to survive in case her family would return and then she planned on given them her piece of her mind for leaving her...

 _Then he said he could help me find my family..._

Rey wasn't sure whether that was real, part of the play or someone just outright pranking her as the scavengers were certainly known for, as they used to pick on her when she was the youngest and weakest and none of them had really cared about helping her find her family. But, how she desperately wished for it come true, that someone really cared. Rey was done waiting.

One of the things that made her really believe in what was happening before her eyes in the so-called play, was the might of the so-called force, how she could see straight into the mind of Ben or was it Ren? Even though his mind was mostly shrouded in darkness, like she had to wade through a mist to get through the heart of it and to her surprise found some very strong feelings and that everything he had told her was true. This was no play.

 _Did that also mean he can help me find my family...?!_

If the might of the force hadn't been enough to convince her, never mind the special effects the traveling troupes had used through the years, his darkside powers was something more closer to magic and the people looked genuinely scared of him, not to mention that the bombing Tie fighters also gave a convincing argument, that this was no dream but all a true reality happening right before her eyes. She had stepped right into the fantasy of her dreams...

 _But...he did it for me...he was angry on my behalf...why?_ For as long as Rey could remember, no one had ever protected her like that and it confused her, as a small warmth spread inside her chest she couldn't put her finger on what was.

 _Could this be lov...?_

 _You know he's only after your power..._ says a voice, she sometimes hears from when she is at her loneliest, lost and most desperate.

 _What power?_ asks Rey, the voice, who always has a knack to find the worst in everything and seems to try to destroy whatever hope she has left. Usually she ignores it or it doesn't come up at all as Rey beats it without mercy down in order to not lose her mind, but now she was intrigued by what is was saying, but also afraid.

 _He said you were strong in the Force,_ answers the voice. _  
I've no idea what that is...or very little..._

 _You should leave this place forever. Your family is never coming back and you know it._

 _I can't leave. I've no other place...you know it..._

 _Let him train you in the darkside so you can take revenge on your so-called family._

Rey knows she can't let the voice win, she never knew and hardly knows still what it is today, but now knows it must be somehow connected to her powers. The voice can't win or she will lose everything...that is the only thing she is certain of...

 _I'm sure something like that happened to Ben Solo or Kylo Ren, that's why his mind is shrouded in darkness...and I don't want...revenge...and from the looks of it darkside is a very bad power...I mean, Poe even punished Ben or was it Ren? For using it..._

 _But, don't you want that power? You will never be powerless again..._

 _I...just want my family back...wait Ben Solo...could it be that is his father is Han Solo? Nah, there are probably more Solos around..._

* * *

"Everything alright here?

Rey is startled to find Poe suddenly standing behind her and staring at her.

 _How long have I been spaced out like that? I shouldn't space out while flying! What am I thinking?! Is Poe here to scold me?_

To Rey's great relief, they are still airborne and no sign of them, losing altitude, despite the Tie-Fighters constantly trying to shoot at their tail.

 _Did I...use this force thing or something...?_

A Tie-Fighter blows up, followed shortly with Finn shouting in the back: "Wohoo!" Rey could just imagine him punching the air in happiness. "I did it, POE!"

"WELL DONE! He is really good at this," remarks Poe. "I didn't have to teach him that much, as soon as he got used to the moving seat." He adds the last in a calm voice, clearly a battle veteran who has seen a lot and isn't the least frightened by the seemly endless pursuit of the Tie-Fighters.

"Oh, sorry. You're a pilot too...I just followed my instinct..." Rey bites her lower lip in embarrassment for having stolen the pilot seat like that. She is not used to having other people to rely on and instead having to do everything herself.

Poe smiles despite their circumstances. "Don't worry, you're doing great. Besides, I know he would rather have you pilot this ship than me." He pats Ben's head, but to his surprise, Ben doesn't react in any way, but only stares into space.

"What does he care?" asks Rey.

 _Why has he shut down? I didn't know he was a droid..._

"You could say it's his family heirloom." "Hello, is anybody home?" He knocks lightly on Ben's head and frowns when there is still no reaction from him. "Do you want me to call your mother and have her pick you up?"

"Family...heirloom...?"

 _And you called it a garbage!_ The voice scolds her, as it also has to criticize her and really rub in her mistakes.

 _How was I supposed to know...it's falling apart...what was it doing here in the first place? I know it got stolen...Could he be like this because I called his family heirloom...a garbage? Is it my fault...?!_

"'But, I'm impressed. You seem to have everything under control. Let me know if I can help you. Remember to stay low," says Poe and is about to return to the gunner position with BB-8, when Rey stops them by saying: "I'm fine, thank you. You should be more worried about..." Rey nods her head at Ben, who looks like a zombie. "What's wrong with him? Is he sick? Do we need to find a medic?"

 _Maybe it's just the heat...he nearly passed out earlier..._

Poe puts his hand on Ben's forehand to take his temperature. "Wow...he's stone cold..."

 _Cold...but not warm?!_

BB-8 shoots out his electric arm.

"Hmm, yeah, try that..but only once.." says Poe, but when BB-8 sapps him and Ben still shows no reaction, Poe grabs his wrist to take his pulse. "Okay, now I'm scared...phew he still has a pulse, the general would've had my head if something happened to him while under my care. Must be a Jedi thing. He will come back when he's ready...I hope..." Poe runs a hand, exasperated through his own dark hair. "You better come back, Ben..."

 _Come back...he better come back..._

"Do you have any idea what's wrong with him?" asks Rey quickly before a painful memory resurfaces and Poe waves a hand in front of Ben's face, who only stares blankly ahead. "I don't know him that well...but...I guess you could say that the past has caught up with him in more ways than once."

"Huh, what do you mean?"

 _Because of this ship?_

"I will explain later, focus on evading this Tie-fighters. I will help Finn shot the rest of them down." Poe pats BB-8 on his way to the other gunner position. "Watch over our troublemaker and let me know if he shows any change."

" _Yes, dad..."_ chirps BB-8, who stares intently at frozen Ben and looks to be ready to sap him if he misbehaves.

 _Even the droid has a family...but, what did he mean by the past has caught up to him? What's going on with him...? Well, whatever is going on with him...I will protect him...just like he protected me...I will bring him back to his family...and then I will return to Jakku..to wait for my own..._

* * *

 _ **KR: Calm down, this ship has been lost for many years. What are the odds of your father finding it now? None.**_

 _Are you...helping me?_

 _ **KR: I don't want you to have a complete meltdown, I still need you...you know...**_

 _For...what?_

 _ **KR: For instance, you could bring Rey to the supreme leader.**_

 _What?! Why in the...?_

 _ **KR: She's strong in the force. She needs a teacher.**_

 _You know, he will kill me if he gets another student. Besides, I'm a way better teacher than stupid Snoke..._

 _ **You?**_

 _Yeah, uncle often got me to help him with the little padawans._

 _ **Yes...because they were at your level...**_

 _Not true and shut up, I'm trying to enjoy my alone time with Rey._

 _ **KR: Alone... stuck in your head...**_

 _I'm shy...and this way I won't make a fool out of myself..._

 _ **KR: You are trying to escape, you know. How about helping out a bit instead of having a meltdown?!**_

* * *

"Aren't the shields up yet?!" shouts Finn.

"I need a working co-pilot!" shouts Rey back.

 _Working...co-pilot...?_

"Don't worry, the shields are already up...they just aren't working perfectly. Ben, won't you do the honors?" says Poe and shakes him violently.

"Huh.. honors... wha... where...?" asks Ben in a groggy voice.

 _Where am I...oh no!_

"Finally, you are up! Do something useful, be the co-pilot." Poe points at the control panel in front of him.

Ben is really tempted to just snatch up his lightsaber and destroy the control panel, but two things stop him, one it would bring them swiftly to their deaths and that's not fair to Rey and two, his dad would haunt him if he did anything to the Falcon.

"Don't even think about it, Ren," says Poe warningly and slaps his hand away from the lightsaber hilt in his belt, which Ben had unconsciously reached for.

Ben glares at him, though deep inside he's thankful that he stopped him for doing a horrible mistake.

"Ren as in Kylo Ren? I'm so confused...you have two names. I thought your name was Ben, Ben Solo? Which it?" ask Rey with a puzzled expression, which Ben think makes her look adorable, but all her adorableness aside, he answers her: "Ben. The other was my darkside name."

 _ **KR: Is your darkside name.**_

"Darkside...oh like how Anakin Skywalker turned into Darth Vader," asks Rey and Ben lifts an eyebrow. "Yeah...how do you know about that?"

"A saw a play once...is it really true that he is Luke's and Leia's father?" ask Rey excitedly.

 _A play...about one of the most well guarded secret in the galaxy?!_

"Yes...and as Leia is my mom, he was my grandpa..." replies Ben.

"Grandpa!" shouts Rey.

 _ **KR: And the coolest grandpa ever!**_

 _Except we never met him..._

 _ **KR: Which sucks! But we went to check out his castle on Mustafar. It was so cool!**_

 _Yeah...it was..._  
"Hello, take the controls...now." Poe points back at the control panel as he doesn't seem to care in the least about Ben's awesome family history, only that they can survive this pursuit and get off the planet to the resistance.

 _ **KR: At least he has his priorities straight...though he has a funny way of doing things...**_

Ben crosses his arms. "No, you do it. I don't like the idea of flying this particular ship...I'm going to find an escape pod..." He stands up, but Poe pushes him back into the seat and puts the seat belt on him.

"Hey!" shouts Ben and plans on unfastening the seat belt, but Poe stops him by grabbing his hand. "You're not going anywhere on my watch. Stop being so stubborn!"

"Oh, come on. I thought you dreamed of flying...this...this ship," whines Ben.

 _Why is he forcing me to pilot it?!_

 _ **KR: Yeah...what is he trying to prove...?**_

"This...ship?" ask Rey and looks skeptically around what she called garbage and Ben can't really blame her as the ship looks to be falling apart, which mirror exactly how he is feeling.

 _I can't do this...I can't!_

Poe nods to Ben's earlier question and lets go of him, so he can move. "Yes, always dreamed of it, but this is more important to you."

 _Is he trying to be nice...or a jerk?_

 _ **KR: Jerk..obviously...**_

"Well, I don't like it! And you can't make me!" shouts Ben and tries to reach for his saber, intent on cutting through the belt and maybe bit of Poe, like his stupid hair, on the way, that would show him!

"Put your saber away. You need this to be able to move forward," says Poe sternly and grabs his saber grabbing hand.

"You can't force me!" snarls Ben and thrashes in his grip when suddenly Poe lets go of him and lift his hands in the air, like he's giving up.

"Maybe you don't know how to fly...?" says Poe and Ben snarls, insulted: "Of course I know how to fly! I even learned to fly on this...thing!"

"Wow..I envy you so much!" Poe grins, but Ben shakes his head. "Don't...It wasn't much fun."

"Maybe you were just bad learner." Poe shrugs and Ben, who is too tired to retort replies: "Maybe..."

"Guys! We don't have time for this! Take the controls now!"

Ben obeys Rey instantly and the minute he takes the control and just as he feared, he's bombarded with memories from his long forgotten past.

* * *

" _No! That's the button for the lightspeed!" shouted his father at him and grabbed Ben, who was a toddler at that time and had somehow managed to crawl into the empty co-pilots chair and was about to push the forbidden button._

 _After that I wasn't allowed back in the cockpit._

 _ **KR: Never?**_

 _Well, no...he also tried to teach me how to fly..._

 _ **KR: I trust it didn't go too well.**_

" _No, no. Where is your head at boy?" His father pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm sorry, but you're not ready for this."_

" _I am ready! We haven't even left the spaceport yet! Grandpa Ani was flying a podracer when he was nine! I'm ten!" shouted Ben indignantly and pointed out the views shield, as they had barely started and already his father had given up._

" _Well, he was also the chosen one...and had no dad to say no to that stupidity..." His father lifted him from the seat and onto the floor. "Come on, let's play chess instead...far safer." He took his hand, but Ben dragged his feet, intent on winning this battle: "How old were YOU when you started flying?"_

 _His father sighed. "That has nothing to do with this. No, we will wait until you're much older...preferably twenty..no thirty...it's much safer." He picked him up, put him in the sofa and turned on the chess piece._

" _Thirty?! Can't I just try a smaller ship first?" begged Ben and his father pretended he was thinking it over. "Let me see...no. And you know, your mom will agree with me."_

 _One of the chess pieces lunged into another and threw it to the ground, which was like how Ben felt at the moment, defeated and humiliated..._

 _You're right...I didn't really learn to fly until I got another instructor...many years later, when I was a teen, but I often was a stowaway on the ship, forcing dad to bring me on dangerous missions, which really pissed him off and several days after that lesson I even tried to steal the Falcon..._

* * *

"BEN!"

"Wha...what...?" Ben is drawn away from his memories by Poe shouting at him:"You can't space out now. We need you to control this thing. Watch what you are doing!"

"I don't understand why you can't be the co-pilot, aren't you like one of the best pilot in the galaxy...?" Ben sugar coats his voice.

 _Pretty please...I can't have more memories tormenting me...!_

 _ **KR: You know, Poe loves to torment you...**_

Poe smiles. "I'm flattered, but that is only your words not mine. Come on, you can do it." He pats his shoulder encouragingly.

 _No! I can't! Endless memories!_

"I need some help here!" shouts Finn in desperation and Poe blinks him as he leaves for the other gunner's position. "I will help Finn take down these endless Tie-fighters. I will leave you two alone...well with BB-8..."

"Poe!" shouts Ben, but Poe is long gone, leaving only BB-8 who chirps something and Ben is seething because of the unfairness of it all.

 _Stupid rebel...rebelscum..._

"Would you rather be the main-pilot...?" ask Rey, as if what really is bothering Ben, is that he's stuck as the co-pilot in his family ship and for some reason that's beneath him.

Ben shakes his head. "No, you are doing just fine."

 _To get through this...I need guidance from the force..._

* * *

But the minute Ben shuts his eyes, Rey shouts at him:"What are you doing? You can't fly with with your eyes closed! Are you doing this to spite, Poe?! This is no joke you know!"

"Ben, behave!" shouts Poe in the back and as on command BB-8 saps Ben.

"Ouch! HEY! I'm using the force!" snaps Ben back without opening his eyes.

 _Stupid, stupid rebel scum!_

"Can you use the force for anything?" asks Rey in disbelief.

"You might say so. Try it yourself. Trust the force," says Ben and doesn't get far in getting strength from the force as Rey continues shouting: "I'm not closing my eyes like an idiot!"

"I will have you know, that my unca Luke destroyed the first Death Star by closing his eyes like an idiot!" snaps Ben, his eyes open up and he blushes.

"Unca?" ask Rey puzzled.

 _ **KR: Hehe, unca...?**_

 _I misspoke...shut up..._

"My Jedi...uncle..." corrects Ben himself.

"Okay...but, wasn't it just a lucky shot?" asks Rey.

 _ **KR: True, he could've been lying to look better...your family lied about lot...like the fact that you had the coolest grandpa in the galaxy!**_

"Fine...but still trust the force." Ben shuts his eyes again.

"Okay...I will try that..."

"Do or do not there is no try."

 _ **KR: I thought you hated that line...**_

"That'a load of bull! There is always a try first!" shouts Rey.

 _ **KR: Well said!**_

"Just do it!" shouts Ben while he desperately tries to get guidance from the force despite all the noise.

"Fine..." replies Rey, defeated and starts to use the force.

 _I didn't know teaching was this hard..._

 _ **KR: I understand a bit now why your uncle was such a prick to us, all the time...**_

 _Me too...we...or well I wasn't exactly the best of student..._

 _ **KR: And you plan on meeting him again...**_

 _No...that wouldn't be wise...I'm just delivering the map to mom...nothing else!_

 _ **KR: He must be so pissed at you..**_ _._

 _More like angry...or as angry as a Jedi is allowed to be..._

 _ **KR: He probably has some awful punishment lined up for you like always...**_

 _Like lines..._

 _ **KR: Well that and...**_

"Wohooo! That was the last of them!" shouts Finn.

 _Wha...what happened...? Is it over...already?!_

* * *

Ben opens up his eyes and witness as the last Tie-Fighters gets blown up and they fly out of the atmosphere, straight into space.

 _ **KR: You weren't paying attention...just like in the Jedi Academy...**_

 _I hope know one realized that..._

"Amazing job, Finn!" shouts Poe and Ben can hear the clanking of the ladder as they both climb up from their gunner positions.

"Thanks!" shouts Finn and Ben can hear them, give each other high fives before they walk into the cockpit to join the rest of the gang.

"And really, well done, Rey!" Poe gives her a high five as well.

"Thanks...I have never left the planet, but I have flown before..." says Rey and gives Finn a double high five, like they had just won a big sports game instead of winning a aerial battle. "We did it!"

 _A natural flyer...dad would like her. Nothing like me..._

 _ **KR: He didn't really give you any chance...**_

"You too, BB-8," Poe kneels and pets BB-8.

BB-8 chirps something happily.

 _Of course Poe won't say anything to me..._

Ben feels a little hurt over being left out of the celebration, even though he didn't really do anything, but to be frank BB-8 didn't do squat either! The he notices how Poe is staring at him with a strange expression.

 _ **KR: Why is that idiot staring at you?**_

 _Probably plans to scold me for not paying attention in a life-threatening battle..._

"You did well too!" Poe smirks, attacks and ruffles Ben's hair.

 _Hey! Only my mom or dad...I mean nobody gets to touch my hair!_

 _ **KR: Not even Rey...?**_

 _Rey can do anything to me..._

 _ **KR: Of course she can...**_

Ben bats Poe's hand away after an awful long petting. "I didn't really do anything. Great job, Rey." He smiles at Rey, who smiles back and replies: "Thanks...you too."

 _Phew...she has no idea I left it all to her..._

 _ **KR: But at the same it makes you kind of useless...**_

 _Why do you have to ruin everything?!_

"High five?" Rey turns to Ben and timidly lifts up hand.

 _Is she asking me...for a high five?_

 _ **KR: No...armless BB-8...**_

 _Really...? Not me...?_

 _ **KR: Do I have to spell out everything for you? Where does your brain go when you look at that girl? Of course it's you!**_

Ben turns scarlet and can't look at her when he lifts up his hand and she high fives him.

Then he lowers his hand and stares at it, as if she had just given him million credits.

Poe grins when he notices that and Ben turns his head sharply to him, when he realizes his secret is out.

 _Oh, no. He saw!_

 _ **KR: Right...because you have hidden your feelings towards her so well...**_

 _He will definitely use it against me somehow! Like start hitting on Rey!_

 _ **KR: Hmm...I'm not so sure about that...**_

Instead Poe turns to Finn, who seems to be clueless about everything and puts a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, Finn how about some chess to relax after this and to celebrate our escape?" Poe points behind them, at the holochess on the table in front of the comfortable sofa.

"Sounds good to me." Finn flashes him a smile, all too happy to not having to sit in the gunner position any longer and to be able to relax in a sofa.

"Good luck..." mouths Poe at Ben behind him and blinks him teasingly.

 _Is he playing a matchmaker now...?_

 _ **KR: That guy is an enigma...**_

"Come, BB-8." Poe waves at BB-8 to follow them, who chirps something and rolls after him and Finn to the holochess table in the back.

* * *

After Poe had left with Finn and BB-8, an awkward silence ensues between Rey and Ben.

 _Shiiit...what should we talk about..?!_

"I told you, you were strong in the force," says Ben at last.

 _ **KR: You know talking about the force...is kinda like speaking about the weather...you should ask her about something personal...like her hobbies...**_

"You keep saying the force, this and that, but what is it anyway? I have heard about it, but..." says Rey and hopes that Ben will finish her sentence, which he is happy to do: "It's a energy that surrounds us and binds together every living thing. You need a teacher...I can show you the way of the force...at least until you can meet unca...master...Luke..."

 _ **KR: And you said unca again...like when you were a toddler...and are you really going to send her alone to Luke?**_

 _It's safer...wait no, I don't want to send her away!_

"Thanks for the offer, but I have to get back to Jakku after I've brought you to the resistance..." says Rey firmly, as he had planned otherwise on packing her in a container.

"I will help you find your family," offers Ben again.

 _ **KR: Hmm, will but not can...are you sure you should be making promises like that?**_

"Look, it's awfully nice of you and all, but there is nothing you can do to help. I just have to keep on waiting for them to return. They will...one day. Besides, you are going back to your own right or at least to your mom?" Rey glares at him. "Or else..."

 _I will at least bring mom the map...but I'm never meeting uncle, never and dad...well,, never ever either..._

 _ **KR: You know how much a stickler she is for family staying together...I wouldn't say anything more if I were you...**_

"I guess.. _._ but it's not that simple..." begins Ben and ignores Kylo's advice as he looks in deep thought, through the view shield into the endless space.

 _ **KR: Are you really planning on telling her the truth...?! It's not too late to back out!**_

 _I hate lies..._

"How so...?" asks Rey and Ben turns to her, guilt written over his face. "I may have abandoned...my family..."

Ben could've just as well spit in Rey's hair, she looks livened and her nostrils flare, as she reaches for her staff in the corner.

 _Oh, o! Maybe I shouldn't have said that..._

 _ **KR: You're so dead man...**_

* * *

 _Next up: Rey snaps..._


	7. A painful family history

_AN: Thank you so much for the reviews, follows and favorites! This is the last part of the chapter before...poor Ben is in for a world of hurt..._

* * *

Chapter seven - A painful family history

"WHAAAT! THAT IS THE CRUELEST THING...! How dare you?!" Rey looks at her staff in the corner and back at Ben, who waves his hands desperately in front of him when he sees her intention: "But, I'm going back! I swear! I'm going back!"

 _Rey's worst memory plays repeatedly in her head, whereas she is a small girl holding Unkar Plutt's hand and watching a shuttle leaving her behind and shouting:,,No, come baaack!"_

 _No, come back...No come back...Come back...COME BACK YOU KRIFFING JERKS! I HATE YOUUU GUUYS SOOO MUUUCH!_

Rey frowns at him and gets her staff. "You better! You have no idea how it hurts to have your family leave you!" She hits him several times over his head to really knock that statement in. "YOU, NAUGHTY, EVIL, BRATTY, BAD, BOY!"

Ben grimaces and covers his head from the onslaught of her staff. "OW, OW! YES, I DO!"

"You do?" Rey's anger deflates as quickly as a sun being drained on the Star Killer base. "Maybe I overreacted a bit..."

"YOU THINK?!" growls Ben at her, just as Poe walks into the cockpit. "Is everything alright? Ben, what did you do?" He frowns at Ben, as if he is a instigator in a sibling rivalry.

BB-8, who follows him and chirps angrily: " _I told you, he couldn't be trusted!"_

Finn nods, where he sits at the chess table and Poe shakes his head. "Really, I can't leave you alone for..."

"Hey, SHE hit me!" Ben points at Rey who is still holding the staff, as a evidence and Rey's survival instinct, makes her quickly hide it behind her back.

"You must have said something rude...or really pissed her off in some way..." says Poe matter-of-factly.

 _More like...painful..._

"Apologize to her!" snaps Poe at Ben, but before Ben can retort, Rey interjects: "No, it was my fault...I'm really sorry about that...my temper got the best of me..." She shamefully throws the staff back into the corner.

"It's okay...I'm really sorry for what I said...but you! Do something useful for a chance and find me some bacta patches," Ben commands Poe like he's an emperor.

"Sure thing. Finn, BB-8 make sure he behaves while I'm gone, "says Poe before he disappears in the back.

"Yes, sir," says Finn and BB-8 chirps in agreement as he returns to the chess table, while Ben hold his head and grimaces in agony and grumbles something audible, that sounds a lot like _,,Rebelscum."_

 _But, I was the one who hit him..._

"Umm...how did your family abandon you...?" asks Rey tentatively. "Do you want some ice on your head...?"

 _What if he was also left on some desert rock...screaming after his family to return?! And I was so mean to him?!_

"I was sent away to Jedi training with my unca Luke when I was ten. I haven't meet my parents since...not that they were ever home anyway..." mumbles Ben, rubs his sore head fervently and pouts: "I wouldn't mind the ice, but I doubt there is any aboard this stupid ship..."

 _Oh...that's somewhat similar, but yet extremely different to mine...at least he was left behind with his cool Jedi uncle! Not some stupid scavenger that hates you and makes your life miserable! And at the very least he remember his parents...he got to know them...he's meeting them again...right...?_

"Then how exactly did you abandon your family?" ask Rey in the vain hope of doing some damage control and justifying somewhat her earlier cruel treatment of him.

"Six years ago I found my own path...I joined the darkside...and the First Order...until I realized my mistake...that's why I'm going back home...after all this years...to make things right..."

 _Oh...of course he abandoned his family by turning to the darkside and joining the enemy side...it's not like he could keep personal life and work separated behind the enemy lines...or maybe he didn't even want to, which is even worse!_

 _Hopefully my own family will one day come back to it's senses as well...I just hope they didn't turn evil and that's why they left me...that would suck..._

 _But, I feel a little less guilty about hitting him now, he had it coming for turning evil! His family must have been so hurt over his betrayal and they must have been waiting forever for him to return. I can't wait for their reunion, they will be so thrilled...but there will probably be some yelling too and some, hopefully not too harsh, punishments...their relationship will most likely take some time to heal...hopefully not too long!_

 _But, what I don't understand is why they send him away in the first place...does a Jedi training take such an awful long time? Didn't he want to become a Jedi and was send away anyway? That would suck..._

"Is that why you don't like it?" asks Rey and looks around the ship, which is supposed to be his family heirloom.

 _Too many hard memories?_

"Like what...to be beaten over the head? I thought nobody like that..." snaps Ben at her, who is still rubbing his sore head and Rey shakes her head. "No, this ship. I thought it was your family heirloom..."

"It's his father's ship." Poe returns with bachta patches and hands it over to Ben who rips them from him and puts them over his head.

"Oh... so sorry that I called garbage..." says Reys.

 _First I insult his father's ship, then I beat him...he sure must hate me now..._

"It's okay...though my...father would have fit had he heard you talk about his precious...baby like that...Poe, you idiot, these have to be ice cold or they don't work!" He throws the patches at Poe who grabs them and adds to Ben's explanation as if that would explain everything: "It's the Millenium Falcon."

"WHAT? Rey looks excitedly around the ship she thought up to this point was only a garbage. "NO, NO WAY!"

 _I'm flying the Millennium Falcon! I'm living the dream! But it still a garbage...ancient junk...this belongs in a museum!_

"Wait...the Millennium Falcon...so your dad really is the legendary smuggler Han Solo?!"

"The war hero?" ask Finn in the back, who looks up from the chess table and BB-8 chirps something similar.

"Don't remind me." Ben huffs and whines: "Poe..."

"I will put these in the freezer, your highness." Poe gives him a mock bow and walks away.

"Why not? I thought you were going back home?" asks Rey.

"To my mom, not and never ever to him. I don't even know where he is...not like that is anything new..." mutters Ben bitterly.

"That's not nice!" Rey reaches over for her staff, but decides against it at the last moment.

 _I really have to control my temper..._

Poe returns with the bacta patches. "Here you go."

"Thanks..I mean about time!" Ben snaps them away from him and puts them on his head. "Now, leave us in piece."

Poe smirks and leaves them so they can be alone together in the cockpit, despite the fact Rey just attacked Ben.

 _Not a very good guardian..._

"You have to go back to both of your parents, or isn't a family reunion! Wait, do you have a sibling too?" asks Rey from where the left off before Poe arrived.

 _Considering how everyone important seems to be related to him, it wouldn't come as a surprise..._

"No and I have my reasons for not wanting to meet him..." before Ben can elaborate what he means by that, Poe, the very bad guardian, returns with the words: "I just realized it not exactly wise to have you as the co-pilot. Go and lie in the sofa, but don't fall asleep! You might get a concussion."

"Yeah...yeah...dad..." Ben stagers on his way to the sofa, flops down into it, opposite from Finn who's playing chess with BB-8 and seems to be losing and Ben rambles: "Stupid dad...where are you...? Why are you never there when I need you...?"

 _I hope he's alright..._

* * *

" _Daddy! Daddy!" shouted Ben as toddler and ran into the embrace of his father._

" _What is it kid?" His father picked him up and Ben pouted. "My head...hurts."_

 _But, this was no ordinary headache. However, his mom had told him couldn't tell his dad the truth about the voice tempting him to the darkside, as his dad wouldn't understand and it might anger him needlessly as he couldn't do anything to stop it._

" _I'm sorry to hear that. Do you want a painkiller?" His father furrowed his brows in worry over his constant headaches._

" _Yes, but first...mom always does this..." Ben dipped his head and pointed at the top of it._

" _Okay, kid." His father kissed the top of his head. "Is it better now?"  
_ " _Much better! Thanks daddy!" Ben hugged his father and kissed him on the cheek to repay his debt._

" _Any time kiddo..." His father smiled and kissed him on his head again._

* * *

 _ **KR: You miss him...**_

 _Do not._

 _ **KR: Maybe your mom already contacted him...**_

 _I doubt it...he's always been hard to get a hold off..._

 _ **KR: Haha, I knew it, you miss him!**_

" _Okay fine...maybe the tiniest bit. I just wish I could at least send him a voice message. It would put my mind at ease...so he wouldn't come after me..._

 _ **KR: Come after you? Are you a fugitive or something?**_

 _I was a prisoner of the darkside._

 _ **KR: Hmm...**_

 _But no I mean, in bringing me home...like he always did when I ran away in the past, the only thing that caught his attention and brought him home...for a short time._

* * *

" _Kid, this is your last chance. Stop running away!" His father grabbed him where he found him hiding in a bush in front of their house. With a scowl he carried him inside._

" _But, you're never home!" shouted Ben, as the walked up the stairs to his bedroom._

" _You have to stay with your mother," said his father._

" _She's never home either! Always on some stupid endless meetings!" shouted Ben and that made his father stop in his track._

" _You're home alone?" he asked in utter bewilderment and looked around the seemly empty apartment._

" _No...with Threepio...as always..." said Ben with a frown, not that he disliked Threepio, he just wanted to have his parents with him too._

" _Sorry about that kid...but I've to work, your mom too. You will understand when you're older." His father ruffled his hair and Ben shouted: "No, I won't as I will never leave you or anyone!"_

" _That's nice to hear kid." His father smiled, put in bed and tugged him in. "I can stay with you for now," His father read him a bedtime story until he fell asleep._

" _I love you dad," mumbled Ben in his sleep._

 _But he was long gone when I woke up..._

" _Fuck you dad!"_

" _Language, Ben," said mom who had returned. "And that's no way to speak about your hardworking father..."_

* * *

 _ **KR: He didn't try to bring you home from the First Order.**_

 _No, he didn't...I'm kind of pissed of that he didn't...I don't understand why...he never even picked me up from uncle Luke either...I was waiting forever for the Falcon to show up on the horizon and bring me back home!_

 _ **KR: So you really do miss him...**_

" _I...it's been too many years...and if I could send him a message I would say this."_

* * *

" _Hi, dad. It's me Ben. I've come back to the lightside and I'm on my way to mom. No thanks to you! But no need to worry, I will take care of myself as always!_

 _Bye forever._

 _P.S I have the Falcon not YOU! Haha...in your face!_

* * *

 _ **KR: Wow...someone is bitter...**_

 _He was never there for me in the past. It's too late now...he most likely disowned me when I turned to the darkside._

 _ **KR: That's not what your mom said...**_

 _Stop acting like my counselor, you're an evil voice in my head. I'm not listening to you!_

 _ **KR: Often I am the voice of reason..**_

 _Shut up...and wait I thought you said that family makes you weaker...why are you bugging me about my dad?_

 _ **KR: It would be so funny to see the look on your face if he were to show up unexpectedly...**_

 _You're so evil..._

 _ **KR: It's in the job description...**_

 _What's that awful sound!_

 _ **KR: That's just my voice...**_

 _No, there is something else!_

* * *

A sizzling sound, kind of like in boiling kettle rolls around in Ben's skull, as loud as alarm bells.

 _Oof my head..who is making that sound...I bet it's Poe, probably whistling some god awful songs like the Hub Nub song or Jedi Rock, my least favorite songs! Just to annoy me! I better chop of his head so he knows how I feel in my head!_

 _ **KR: I strongly advise against that...**_

 _Did she have to hit me this hard...? My head is still spinning..._

 _ **KR: How about not hitting you at all? She could've killed you...**_

 _I don't mind her killing me..._

 _ **KR: Sigh...I expected as much...but her temper is way way worse than yours, and I didn't even think that was possible, but that is really good for the darkside. I wish I could transport over to her and ditch you for good.**_

 _You can...transport yourself?_

 _ **KR: No...**_

 _Thank the maker...but who's making that awful sound?!_

"Knock that off!" shouts Ben, startling Finn and BB-8 who are playing Dejarik battle, but on mute and in complete silence.

"We are not even talking," replies Rey surprised from the cockpit and Ben sits up, still holding his head.

"Then what's that sound?" he asks frustrated.

 _Is it just inside my head? Great...just what I needed, a terrible noise on a top of a terrible voice._

 _ **KR: I wouldn't call myself terrible...**_

"What sound...?" Poe perks his ears, where he sits in the co-pilot seat and his puzzled expression says he hears something strange as well. Finn, BB-8 and Rey do as well and Rey, who at last figures out where the sound is coming from, jumps up and run to the lounge. She shouts when she has found the culprit: "This whole place is going to blow up and fill everything up with a poisonous gas!"

Ben groans. "Okay, this is a piece of junk...don't tell my father that I just said that..."

"Ben, help me fix this!" shouts Rey and Ben, takes the bacta patch off, puts them on the holochess table and reluctantly stands up from the sofa, his head still spinning, as he staggers to her.

 _Why me...?_

 _ **KR: You know the ship...**_

Poe jumps into the pilot seat. "I will take over the main controls while you deal with this. Finn, be my co-pilot." He buckles himself in.  
"What! But, I don't how to fly this...thing!" shouts Finn and BB-8 rolls after him.

"It's only temporary. Relax...it far more worrying if they don't manage to fix that in the back..." says Poe.

"That does not make me feel better," shouts Finn alarmed and BB-8 chirps something loudly.

 _Why does everyone have to shout everything?! Even BB-8!_

"Hurry up!" shouts Rey, even though she's is the reason Ben is so slow at the moment.

"Please don't shout..." Ben feels like he has the worst hangover in the galaxy.

"Sorry, but we don't have much time!" Rey continues shouting, despite her apology.

* * *

In the lounge, Ben helps Rey lift up the grating where burst of steam is coming from under. She jumps down into the grating area.

"Do you know how to fix this?" asks Rey, when she sees what the problem is.

"A little..." Ben remember vaguely when a similar problem came up in the past, but what his tired and sore brain doesn't remember is how his dad and Chewie fixed it.

Rey sees his hesitation. "Well, I'm used to fix things. We will be fine." She gives him a reassuring smile. "Just hand me the right tools." She extends a hand to him, with her palm up and that single gesture, sends a wave of memories into Ben's head.

He remembers exactly how to fix this and rapidly he hands Rey the appropriate tools, before she even has to ask for them. She looks at him surprised, but doesn't comment on that as they work together in quiet, which something Ben is extreme grateful for, on fixing it.

Soon the problem has been solved.

* * *

"FIXED IT!" shouts Rey so the guys in the cockpit can hear, making Ben ears ring, while she wipes sweat of her brow.

"You're brilliant Rey!" shouts Finn back.

"Well, done Rey!" shouts Poe as well.

BB-8 chirps something happily.

"Great job, Rey." Ben helps her climb out of the grating area.

"Do you guys have to praise me for everything?" Rey lifts an eyebrow and wipes her dirty hands on her pants.

"Yes..it's a nice thing to do..." replies Ben awkwardly and returns to lie back in the sofa.

"But, it was mostly you who fixed it." Rey sits beside him, which surprises Ben as he had expected her to return to piloting by hopefully kicking Poe out of the pilot chair.

"I wasn't down in the grating area." replies Ben matter-of-factly, though his heart is about to burst to have her so close to him.  
"Okay, then it was a team effort," says Rey and Ben shrugs. "I guess..."

"I'm really sorry about your head." Rey hands him disregarded bacta packs from the table and Ben gratefully accepts them.

"Don't worry about that...I kind of deserved it..." Ben puts the batcha patches, but they have gotten to warm from being on the table and don't work any more, and as Ben is too tired to yell at Poe to do something about it, he lies back down.

"Yeah, you kind of did...for turning evil I mean. You better not turn evil again..." says Rey warningly as if otherwise, she would hit him again with her staff.

"I'm not turning evil...to the darkside again. What happened at the marketplace didn't count...it wasn't pure darkside," replies Ben pitifully.

 _ **KR: No, you were just you having a jealousy tantrum because they were talking about the girl you like...**_

"How do you turn evil...?" asks Rey and the question startles Ben, who sits up and stares at her. "Why do you want to know?" He puts the useless batcha patches away on the table.

 _ **KR: There is great darkness in her...**_

 _But also great deal of light..._

 _ **KR: Darkness is way cooler...**_

"I'm afraid...of some feelings..." Rey rubs her arms, as if she had gone cold and Ben is tempted to wrap his arms around her, but decides against it and only pats her shoulder.

"I don't want to turn to the darkside..." Rey looks him straight in the eye. "Can you help me avoid it?"

 _ **KR: But it's so cool!**_

"That's good to hear and I've been down that path...but, do you mind if we talk about this later? I'm kinda...worn out..." Ben gives her a pathetic and apologetic smile.

 _I'm not in the mood for teaching..._

 _ **KR: I can teach her!**_

 _You leave her alone!_

"Is your head getting worse?" Rey puts a hand on his forehead to check for temperature and Ben, moves away from her as if her touch is burning him.

"No, no is better...I'm just tired..." he mutters shamefully.

 _It's tiring having to wrestle with a voice in your head..._

 _ **KR: And not die of love sickness...**_

Rey stands up. "Okay...try to rest. I will try to find some painkillers..."

"Thanks..." He smiles at her and lies back down.

 _Ah, finally I can rest in peace..._

"Did you fix this with your dad?" asks Rey suddenly.

 _Did she have to bring him up?!_

"Yes...and Chewie..." replies Ben sourly, as he really doesn't want to talk about any of this and just rest.

Rey's eyes grow wide in wonder. "You, know Chewie?"

"Of course...I do..." replies Ben.

"That's so awesome!" she exclaims.

 _She's such a fangirl..._

 _ **KR: We are Darth Vader fanboy.**_

 _That's different...he was our gramps..._

"Do you think I could meet them...before I return to Jakku?" Her eyes are shining with so much enthusiasm, that Ben can't say no to her, so he lies.

"Uuu...I can't tell."

 _I hope not! Chewie will rip my arms off for betraying them! And dad well...maybe he won't be as mad if I return the Falcon to him? Same with Chewie...?_

"Rey, do you have a cute boyfriend at home?" asks Finn out of the blue from the cockpit, enraging Ben.

* * *

 _How dare he?! And I thought he was over Rey! She's mine!_

"None of your business." Rey looks at Ben, blushes and turns away.

 _She looked at me!_

 _ **KR: You were imagining it...she tried to kill you...remember...**_

 _We are long past that stage..._

"Does that mean you are single?" asks Ben, suddenly wide awake.

 _I didn't see any boyfriends when I invaded her mind..._

 _ **KR: You can be so creepy...**_

"Yes, now stop asking stupid questions and try to rest," says Rey sternly.

 _Why is it a stupid question...?_

"I'm single too," replies Finn without being asked.

 _Shut up, Finn!_

"Me too, but I bet, Ben is a virgin..." adds Poe unnecessarily to the conversation and Ben sits up in anger and reaches for his saber.

 _I'm going to kill Poe now...nothing can stop me..._

"Really...?" Rey looks curiously at Ben, who wants to die at that moment and withdraws his hand.

 _I will kill Poe later..._

"Of course he is," replies Poe like he knows everything about Ben.

Even BB-8 comments on that by chirping something and Finn laughs, even though he is definitely a virgin too.

"Hey! That's none of your business! Stupid Poe, where is your base? ask Ben.

 _How far to I've to travel with this..this clown?!_

Poe looks over his shoulder. "Look, even though you're my adoptive son, I don't trust you for this information, sorry."

 _This is all a test...all a test to see me resisting the darkside...how far I can go without killing that rebel..._

Poe leans to Finn like he's about to whisper to him.

"Hey, Finn is a former trooper!" shouts Ben and Poe shrugs. "He joined unwilling, you joined the First Order on your own terms..and left them."

"Well..." begins Ben.

 _From a certain point of view..._

"The Illenium system?!" shouts Finn after Poe has whispered to him and he blushes when he realizes he just shouted it over the ship."Oops..."

"The Illenium system," says Rey, looks intrigued and ready for adventure before heading home again.

Ben grins as he got the information he wanted and Poe turns sharply to him. "Yes, that is what I said...you better not take this information to the First Order or I swear...oh no..."

All of the ship's power goes out.

 _Just what I needed...to make this day better...what a piece of junk..._

"What's wrong?" asks Rey and Poe replies while clicking on the controls: "Someone has locked on to us. The controls are all overridden."

 _Great..._

* * *

Ben walks into the cockpit, expecting to see a Star Destroyer hanging over their head.

 _Has the First Order found us...?_

 _ **KR: Nope...**_

Ben watches as massive freighter gets closer to them, with a giant hangar like a huge mouth, ready to swallow them.

 _Then who..._

Ben grows cold when he recognizes the force signature.

 _You've got to be kidding me! The minute I step on the Falcon he finds it? The kriffing..._

 _ **KR: I thought you wanted to meet him...**_

 _Not like this! I need more time!_

"What is it?!" asks Rey, worried when she's that Ben has gone white and looks to be ready to pass out.

"I knew it, it's the First Order!" shouts Finn.

"No, it's something far worse!" shouts Ben in panic and runs away.

"Worse?" asks Rey and Finn at the same time and BB-8 chirps in panic.

 _I need to hide!_

 _ **KR: You really haven't changed since you were kid...**_

"There is something worse than the First Order?" ask Poe and Finn replies: "Not that I know of..but if Ren...I mean Ben is so scared...something must be."

Ben's mind is racing and paces around the lounge in the Falcon, as the tries to think of an escape plan.

 _ **KR: How come you felt his presence nearly instantly, but not the Tie-Fighters? The trooper felt it, but not you! Seriously, is your dad a more threat to you then bombing Tie-Fighters?!**_

 _I could've taken the Tie-Fighters easily out with the force! But, he..._

Ben looks at the grating area as a thought comes into his mind. "Rey, the poisonous gas..."

"But I fixed it," replies Rey, who, along with the others had followed panic-stricken Ben to the lounge.

"Can we unfix it?" Ben points at the gas masks hanging on the wall and Rey catches on his plan right away.

She nods and each of the gang, grabs a gas mask and climbs into the grating area.

 _ **KR: You are trying to kill your father. There is still darkside in you.**_

 _I'm not trying to kill him! Just trying to scare him away..._

 _ **KR: With poisonous gas...**_

 _Don't you question my methods!_

Poe hands BB-8 over to Finn, who nearly misses him and Poe jumps into the grating area. He pulls the grating over them, when everyone has gone down there.

"Hurry up!" shouts Ben, through the gas mask at Rey, who snaps back at him through her gas mask. "I am going as fast as can!"

 _Any minute he will come here..._

* * *

 _Next up: Father and son (new) meeting..._

 _The next chapter will most likely not be posted, until after the holidays, happy and merry Sithmas!_


	8. Hide and seek with father

_AN: Wow! Thank you so much for the reviews, favorites and follows! You guys rock so much! Glad you are enjoying this silly cute ( and bit angsty) fic as much as I like writing it. Hope you all had wonderful holidays! :)_

 _Happy new year!_

 _This crazy chapter got so long in rewriting that I had to divide it in three but the second part shouldn't be too far behind..._

 _R.I.P Carrie Fisher. You were my childhood hero and inspiration to us all..._

* * *

Chapter eight - Hide and seek with father

" _BEN! What are you doing down there?!" His father looked shocked while looking down into the grating area. "It's dangerous!"_

" _Little Ben!" growled Chewie._

" _I'm not Ben, I'm Kylo Ren," said seven year old Ben with his face hidden under a black, homemade mask._

* * *

 _Wha..this is memory is false or from a dream...you didn't exist back then..._

 _ **KR: Are you so sure about that?**_

 _What do you mean? Didn't Snoke give me the name?_

 _ **KR: No comment...but, I'm really interested in seeing what happened next...**_

* * *

" _Stop fooling around, Ben and take off your stupid mask," rebuked his father him._

" _It's not stupid!" retorted Ben._

" _Now, Ben!" shouted his father and although little Ben was not too happy with that his super cool mask had been called stupid, he did as his father commanded...or at least tried to._

" _I can't! It's stuck! Help daddy!" shouted Ben desperately and he started hyperventilating in panic, but his father quickly climbed down to him in the grating area._

" _Don't worry kid, I will save you. Don't panic. There, all good?" He asked after he had taken his mask off and kissed his forehead like he always did when he had a headache, to make it better._

 _Ben nodded, happy to be safe at last so his father lifted him up and Chewie received him and put him safely on the floor._

" _How did you know it was me?" asked Ben when his father had climbed back up and Chewie put the grating back over. "I had a mask on...I was in disguise and everything..."_

" _It was so obvious," growled Chewie and Ben looked surprised and to his father for further explanation._

" _Who else could it be...but my naughty son?" His father frowned at him and then he smirked, but Ben looked insulted._

" _I'm not naughty! I'm never naughty!" shouted Ben indignantly and his father and Chewie exchanged doubtful glances._

" _Really? His father pinched his ear. Aren't you supposed to be in school right now?!"_

" _Very naughty," growled Chewie at him._

" _Ow, ow yes...sorry..." said Ben shamefully and rubbed his sore ear when his father finally let go of it._

 _His father lifted up finger for each of his "crimes." "So, truancy, running away, hiding in a dangerous place...you're so grounded, kid!" He snatched him up from the ground and carried him to the lounge with a thunderous expression._

" _But, I'm not running away! I'm with you!" shouted Ben in hope of some appeal, but his father just shook his head._

" _You're going back home, kid. How did you even get down there?"_

" _The grating must wear a ton," growled Chewie a bit impressed._

" _I used the Force..." replied Ben and his father sighed._

" _Of course...the force. Now, I ask you again...What were you doing down there?" He put him down to sit at the chess table._

* * *

 _ **KR: They sure weren't happy with you then...and won't be happy with you now.**_

 _Understatement of the year..._

 _ **KR: But I want to see what happens next.**_

 _Why?_

 _ **KR: I want to know why you were hiding down there...must have been some stupid reason...**_

* * *

" _I was stowawaying," replied Ben in a small voice, when his father sat beside him at the chess table._

" _A stowaway...on your father's ship?" growled Chewie surprised, who took a seat opposite from them._

" _It's safer that way..." replied Ben and his father, thought it over and then he picked Ben up to sit on his lap and had him face him while he said sternly: "Fine, if you have to stowaway, I prefer you use my ship then go with some strangers, that's too dangerous. Just let me know next time, beforehand...and don't you ever hide down there."_

" _Why?" Ben looked at Chewie behind him, as if he would be likelier to know the answer then his father._

" _It's too dangerous! The propulsion tank can overflow and fill everything with poisonous gas!" growled Chewie and his father added: "But most importantly I want to know where you are at all times. It's for your safety kid." He pinched his cheek lightly._

" _Okay, I won't hide down there and I will always let you know where I am," said Ben and his father ruffled his hair and said: "Good boy. Now, let's go home. Your mother must be worried sick..." He picked him up and started walking._

" _No! I don't want to go back! I want stay with you!" Ben clung tightly to his chest as if his father planned on leaving him behind on some planet for being naughty._

" _What...why? Did you do something bad and are fleeing?" His father looked questionably between Ben and Chewie, who followed close behind.  
Ben shook his head. "No...the kids in school are so mean to me..."_

" _Mean how..?" asked his father._

" _They call me strange and...beat me up...and stuff..." muttered Ben and his father looked shocked._

" _I can beat them up for you," growled Chewie helpfully._

" _Thanks, Chewie!" Ben smiles at him gratefully, but his father shook his head._

" _No, as much I would like to do that...it would send the wrong message," said his father who looked like really wanted to give those bullies a piece of his mind, judging from a vein ready to burst on his forehead._

 _He reeled in the anger, took a calming breath and said: "Okay, you can come with us this time. We are only transporting wombat rats, nothing dangerous."_

 _He smiled, but Ben grimaced in disgust when he heard the mission and shouted: "Boooring!"_

" _It's not boring!" growled Chewie, who shivered and his father shook his head and said: "It's a safe mission, which means you can come with us. Now, let's call your mom and let her know where you are..."_

" _Okay..." said Ben and his father carried him to the cockpit._

* * *

 _ **KR: Aw...how cute...**_

 _Did you just call..something cute..?!_

 _ **KR: I'm not the heartless bastard, you think I am...**_

 _News to me..._

 _ **KR: And really shouldn't you be more worried about what is happening now instead of getting lost in a cute...eh stupid flashback?!**_

* * *

The lights come back on in the Falcon.

 _Hey! You wanted me to continue! It's...it's your fault!_

 _ **KR: Everything is always my fault...did I hold a lightsaber to your throat or something? No, so it's your fault for not thinking independently...!**_

"Where is the poisonous gas?!" snaps Ben through the gasmask at poor Rey, who shouts back through hers: "I'm working on it!"

 **KR: You know you could help her.**..

 _I'm too busy not passing out at the moment!_

 _ **KR: That's wouldn't be so bad...**_

 _No, because then you could take back the wheel!_

 _ **KR: Perhaps...personally I don't think that's a bad thing...**_

 _It would be horrible!_

 _ **KR: From a certain point of view...**_

"We are doomed!" Shouts Finn through his gasmask, but Poe puts hands on his shoulder and says through his mask: "Don't give up yet. We are not going down without a fight!"

BB-8 chirps something encouragingly as well.

"But Ren...eh Ben says it's worst than the First Order! We can't win against something like that!" shouts Finn as desperate, as if the Starkiller base had just been pointed at their ship.

"What can be worse than the First Order?" Poe turns to Ben who doesn't answer, but only stares ahead with a doomed look, hidden under his gasmask.

 _ **KR: You know...it might be a good idea to tell them truth instead of having everyone freak out...though it's funny to watch...**_

 _They wouldn't understand..._

 _ **KR: But, seriously, what are you so scared of?**_

 _I don't know...that's what frightening me..._

 _ **KR: Chiiicken...**_

"I'm sorry...we fixed it too well..." says Rey, as if she's about to cry over that failure.

 _No! So typical that when I do a job to well, that it will work against me..._

 _ **KR: Have you forgotten your...lightsaber...?**_

 _You're right! I can cut through the pipes with the lightsaber...why didn't I think of that earlier!_

 _ **KR: Because you are not thinking, that's why...**_

"No! We are going to die!" shouts Finn and hugs Poe desperately as if they are going to die at any given minute, while Poe just pats his shoulder in comfort.

BB-8 chirps in panic and the Falcon door opens with a hiss, before Ben can even ignite his saber. He can hear them walk into the Falcon.

 _He's here..and we are trapped like kriffing wombat rats...!_

"Chewie, we're home."

His father's voice sends shivers up his spine.

 _Oh, brother..they are never going to leave are they?_

 _ **KR: Nope.**_

"Chewie..? Did he say Chewie!?" whispers Rey excitedly, all her fear temporarily gone.

"Chewie? Are you sure?" whispers Finn, without letting go of Poe and looks at Ben, who shivers. "No, this is something else...why would Ben be afraid of Chewie...?"

Poe, lifts up his mask, takes one look at Ben, as if he's calculating something in his head and then he smirks.

 _Oh, no! He figures it out...!_ _It's just a matter of time before the others figure it out too!_

* * *

The grating gets lifted up, and Han and Chewie come into view. Chewie holds the grating up while his father points a blaster at them.

Finn yelps up in fright, but when he does not see death troopers, the knights or anything scary, he furrows his brows in confusion and looks at Ben, who instantly ducks and hides behind Rey.

 _ **KR: Yes, very brave...**_

Rey, who feels and sees his panic, though she doesn't understand it, looks over his shoulder and mouths at him: "Don't worry, I will protect you and get you back to your family."

 _ **KR: The irony of that statement...**_

"Where are the others?" asks his father, where he looks over the gang, whereas Rey and Poe holds their hands up in surrender, Finn embraces Poe tightly in desperation as if they are about to die, Ben is hiding behind Rey and BB-8 chirps something.

"It's only us," replies Rey quickly, as the fangirl has been replaced with the will to survive again and tries in vain to hide Ben behind her back, though she has no idea who he is hiding from.

 _ **KR: If she knew, she would knock your skull in...**_

 _Well, then she better never find out..._

"Who's hiding behind your back?" ask his father.

"Nothing, sir," lies Rey.

"A pretty big nothing to me," scoffs his father.

 _ **KR: Just your son you haven't seen since he was ten years old...nothing of importance...**_

 _Are you trying to make me feel guilty?!_

 _ **KR: Maybe...**_

" _I smell something. Something I haven't smelt since..."_ growls Chewie as sniffs into the air, then he turn his gaze at Ben, behind Rey and his eyes go wide in astonishment.

 _Oh, no! Chewie of course recognizes my smell!_

But, just as Chewie opens his mouth to shout the truth of who Ben is all over the galaxy, he gets a strange look as something had got caught in his throat and coughs violently.

"Hey, are you alright?" His father turns back to Chewie with a worried look, who sits down on a container nearby and points at his throat. "Here have some water." Han takes a bottle from a pouch and hands it to Chewie, who drinks from it and glares at Ben, who is peeking behind Rey, down in the grating area.

 _ **KR: Please don't tell me...you tried to choke Chewie...?!**_

 _I didn't do it! He must have swallowed a fly or something!_

 _ **KR: Hmm...**_

 _Lucky me..._

"Smell? We don't smell. Though I live in a junkyard I don't smell!" Rey crosses her arm and scowls at Chewie as the violent cough had just been an exaggeration of their smell.

"You understand that thing?" asks Finn surprised, takes of his mask and Poe and BB-8 look equally as surprised.

 _Wow, what can't she do?_

 _ **KR: A bit overpowered if you ask me...at least she's way out of your league...**_

 _Hey! That wasn't nice to say!_

 _ **KR: You're way too easy to tease...**_

"Hey, that "thing" understand you as well...!" says Han and glares at Finn for insulting his long time friend, but before he can lecture him some more, Chewie pulls him down and whispers into his ear.

 _Shut up, shut up!_

"What? Speak up, I can't understand you," says his father a bit impatiently and Chewie points frantic at Ben.

 _No, no, no!_

"What...wait...are you from the First Order...?" Han looks intently at the black clothes of Ben.

 _Pheeew! He thinks Chewie is only warning him about that..._

Chewie looks so disappointed, that Ben feels a tiny bit guilty for not coming forth, but his survival instinct makes him keep his mouth closed.

 _ **KR: Survival instinct...really? More like stupidity...**_

"No, sir, are you...?" replies Finn, who reluctantly lets go of Poe, as if he has suddenly become their leader instead of him, who thankfully has kept quiet so far as he could blow Ben's cover right away.

 _I should tape his mouth shut before he says something..._

"Do I look like I come from the First Order?" scoffs his father.

 _ **KR: In your dreams.**_

"No, sir." Rey, Finn and BB-8 look at Ben try to gauge his reaction who still look as panicked as ever.

 _Can't you just go...?_

 _ **KR: Not without the Falcon...**_

 _You're right, I just have to give him back the Falcon!_

"Guys, don't you know who that is?" says Poe, the only one of the gang, who is not panicking over their new arrivals.

"No...?" say Finn and Rey in unison as they gaze, along with BB-8 at Han and Chewie and back at Ben as they try to figure out the connection between them and his panic.

 _NO! Shut up Poe, shut up!_

"It's Chewie!" yells Poe excitedly as if the rented clown for the birthday party had just arrived.

 _Why you...fuck you Poe for nearly giving me a panic attack!_

 _ **KR: You don't seem to need much at the moment...**_

"No way it really is Chewie!" Finn gawks at poor Chewie and Rey does the same. "Chewie!"

"You know Chewie?" asks his father surprised and Rey nods. "Everyone knows Chewie...I mean..I saw a play once..." Her eyes shine brilliantly and she looks starstruck.

BB-8 chirps something in excitement.

Chewie tries to growls something, but nothing comes out.

 _Phew...he still can't say anything...but for how long?!_

"A play...huh...get out of there," Han indicates the grating area and all except Ben and Rey climb out of it or well Finn and Poe try their hardest to get BB-8 up.

 _She still wants to show me support..._

 _ **KR: Support? Why don't you just talk to your dad like a man. Stop acting like a stupid mouse!**_

"I thought Chewie was in retirement on Kashyyyk," says Rey and stares in wonder at Chewie as if he were the new supreme leader.

Chewie lifts BB-8 easily up, so Finn and Poe can at last climb up of the grating area. Poe gives Chewie a high five as they are best friends and Chewie gives one, though without taking his eyes of Ben, as if he's only biding his time to be, figuratively able to tell the truth.

 _Gleep...!_

"No, he's with me now," replies his father and stares at Rey and Ben, who is still hiding behind her, the only two still left down in grating area.

"And who are you, sir?" ask Finn warely.

"None of your business, that's who! snaps his father back at him, as he still thinks of them as enemies and Finn backs away with his hand in the air to Poe, as if Han has been turned into a rathar and wisely refrains from asking more questions.

Poe chuckles, BB-8 is confused while Rey continues hiding Ben behind her.

 _Thank the maker that my dad doesn't have a habit of introducing himself right away to complete strangers...or I would be screwed...Rey and Finn must think he's just some random smuggler traveling with Chewie...though that is very weird...there is still time...!_

 _ **KR: You're trapped inside a freighter which inside another bigger freighter, give up now...there is no escape.**_

 _I'm never giving up...this is...yeah, this a survival game!_

 _ **KR: A game...?!**_

 _The rules are simple, if my father manages to find out my true identity and unmask me, then it's game over!_

 _ **KR: Then how can you win it...?**_

 _If I manage to hide from him and escape, I win and then I will disappear from his life forever...and I have to beat this game before either Chewie gets his voice back, Poe decides to give my secret away or if Finn but, especially Rey, figure out it's "just" my father...not an enemy...as she would kill me for hiding from him...and having planned on using poisonous gas..._

 _ **KR: What about BB-8?**_

 _I'm not worried about him..._

 _ **KR: If Poe tells him the truth, he could tell Rey...**_

 _That would be bad!_

 _ **KR: So you see this is an impossible game from the start...**_

 _I'm not giving up without a fight!_

 _ **KR: You can be so stubborn about the most stupid things...**_

* * *

"You there, stop hiding behind the poor girl," says his father sternly, signaling the game to start without even knowing he's playing one.

"Poor...girl?!" says Rey through clenched teeth and she gets even more protective, as she stretches out her arms to both side.

 _I would never in million years call Rey a poor girl..._

 _ **KR: Me either...I would however call you a poor guy in a heartbeat...**_

 _Says the one who slept with the lights on..._

 _ **KR: How rude! I only did that because Darth Vader's mask is so creepy in the dark! It's not nice having that helmet staring at you when you are trying to sleep!**_

 _I thought darkside users didn't need to sleep..._

 _ **KR: No comment...jerk...**_

"It's okay, Rey. I will take it from here..." Ben moves in front of Rey, pats her on the shoulder for a job well done and tries not to pass out from the stress of revealing himself to his father, although he's still hidden under a mask.

"You sure?" Rey asks skeptical as if she wouldn't even trust him to cross the street on his own, despite having seen his powers in action and Ben nods convincingly.

"I will be here, if you need me," says Rey and still stays by his side, instead of leaving the grating area to go to a far comfortable place.

 _ **KR: You know if it wasn't just your dad...this overprotectiveness would be kind of cute...eh cool...she's so gonna hate you when she finds out the truth...**_

 _You're right...so I can't risk it...I can't lose the game!_

His father sizes him up where he stands above them, looking down into the area to where Ben stands in front of Rey.

Ben's heartbeat pounds wildly in his ear under that inspection.

 _Will he see through me...like he always did in the past...? Am I going to lose...right away?!_

"You certainly looks like one of those Knights of...Ben guys or something? You even have a lightsaber." His father finally says and points at the lightsaber in Ben's belt, with his blaster.

 _ **KR: Hey, it's Knights of Ren! My knights not Ben's!**_

 _He knows I'm the master of Ren...! I'm so glad I didn't wear my helmet...it would've been an instant game over!_

Poe, who sits on container next to Chewie who is drinking water and pouting over his sore throat, enjoys this show so tremendously that he snorts.

"What so funny?" asks Han and turns back to him, annoyed over the interruption in his serious interrogation over one of the Knights.  
"Nothing, sir," says Poe and tries to keep a straight face.

 _Jerk._

 _ **KR: Jerk.**_

Han frowns at him. "Then keep it to yourself." He turns back to interrogating the knight.

"Yes, sir," says Poe, who then whispers to BB-8 beside him, who chirps first surprisingly but then it chirps in something that sounds like an evil chuckle.

"What?" asks Finn irate over being kept out of the joke. He watches every move Han makes, as he tries to figure out what is so dangerous in Ben's eyes, while he tries to find out how to escape from it.

"You will see," is the only thing Poe says which confuses even further both Finn and Rey while Han just decides to ignore that clown behind him, as he has better things to do...like finding out what one of the Knights of Ren is doing on his long lost ship.

 _I have to get away before Poe stops thinking this is funny and decides to give my secret away! Rey and Finn, thankfully still have no clue that this is my father! I can still win this thing!_

* * *

"You mean the Knights of Ren, yes but he defected...we are on our way to the resistance," corrects Rey him helpfully as if the strangers in front of her, had just misspoke the name of the gang, instead of using the name of his son in their title on purpose, as he's their leader.

Han looks genuinely surprised with that information. "Defected...resistance..." His stern features turns into shock and he puts away his blaster in his belt.

 _Oh, no he connecting the knots. I've to come up with a lie and fast!_

 _ **KR: No, just tell him the truth...stop fooling around...**_

"Why don't you take of your mask? It must be suffocating under it," his father says in a fatherly voice, as all of his anger vanished when he heard that the knight had defected and is no longer dangerous, but still looks clueless that the knight in question is his long lost son.

"I'm fine...thank you..." says Ben in a frosty voice.

 _It's far more suffocating being in your presence..._

 _ **KR: That's harsh, dude...**_

His father sits down with his feet hanging down into the grating area. "Suits yourself...but how about at least coming up here...so we can talk?" He pats a place next to him.

"I'm comfortable down here...thank you.." snaps Ben at him.

 _Why do you want to talk...? Talk about what? I don't want to talk! Just leave me alone...you had no problem with it for twenty years..._

 _ **KR: Ouch...**_

"This is not optional, it's dangerous down there. Come up now," says his father sternly.

"I don't want to," replies Ben, turns away from him and crosses his arms stubbornly.

 _I'm will win this fight..._

Han sighs. "I guess I can't force you kid. It's not like I'm your father or something..."

 _ **KR: Double ouch...**_

Ben's heart sinks.

 _He doesn't know..._

He had expected a longer fight than this and just about to descend into a deep depression, when suddenly Poe burst out laughing. "I can't! I just can't!" He kicks his legs out and holds his stomach.

"Can't what?" asks Finn surprised.

 _Don't say anything Poe...don't you dare!_

"Sorry...I was just remembering a...good joke. A very good joke." Poe wipes a tear from his eyes.

"Will you be quiet back there! Go play chess or something!" barks his father at Poe, Finn and BB-8.

Chewie growls something angrily, but it's only gibberish because of his sore throat and Rey frowns at Poe.

"Sorry, we will be quiet," says Poe, as he wouldn't want to miss this confrontation for the world and Finn and BB-8 look pissed that he is talking about them as well, when they didn't say a single thing.

His father shakes his head with a frown. "Some people just don't know how to behave..."

 _Trust my father to start commanding everyone the minute he steps into his ship..._

Kid, you can't stay this way forever," says his father suddenly to him.

"Huh...?" Ben looks at him surprised.

 _He called me a kid...just like in the past...does he know who I really am...?_

Ben expects his next words to be the one from the past: " _Stop fooling around, Ben and take off your stupid mask!_

Followed by the worst lecture ever and ending this impossible game before it has even begun, just like in the past. Chewie already knows and it's only a matter of time before he can talk again or anyone on board will tell the truth, but Ben wants for some reason his father to figure it out on his own, not to be told the truth from anyone.

 _I just want this to be over...I don't want to play this game...please dad!_

 _ **KR: No one is forcing you...**_

However his father's next words disappoint him greatly.

"Down there in the dark...and with a mask. It's not healthy," his father points into the grating area as if Ben wouldn't know what he was talking about otherwise.

Ben turns around and growls at him: "I'm used to wearing a mask...and staying in dark places!" He's so angry that he doesn't recognize him already.

 _Why would some random knight be hiding in your ship?!_

"Don't use that tone with me, young man," scolds his father him without thinking and looks bewildered over his own choice of words and stares at the knight, as if he's trying to see through his mask.

"Sorry sir...but I'm staying down here...with a mask..." says Ben in a challenging voice and deep down, wishes that his father will shout at him: " _Stop fooling around son and obey me at once!"_

But, his father's choice of words keep disappointing him, who only shakes his head.

"You really are stubborn, kid. You are just like my...son...was." His father gets emotional, as if he's about to cry.

 _I AM YOUR KRIFFING SON!_

 _ **KR: Wait...what...so you really want him to find out...then why don't you just tell him...?**_

 _No, he has to find out on his own...or there is no point...I mean it's his fault...for not recognizing me with a mask. He had no trouble with it before!_

 _ **KR: When you were...seven? You're right, you haven't changed that much...**_

 _What's that supposed to mean?_

 _ **KR: Do as your father says.**_

 _Never! And I don't want him to find out my real identity...it's complicated..._

 _ **KR: Wha...you're impossible...I don't understand you...I...I give up!**_

 _Good...at least I won that fight...wait...did he say...son was...he thinks I'm dead?!_

 _ **KR: No wonder he never tried to save you...or knows it's you...**_

 _Why does he think I'm dead...I'm alive...and right in front of him...why can't he see that?! I was waiting for him this whole time! Or has he disowned me...that's even worse!_

"But, you sure have a very weird taste kid and what's up with the gasmask, is this a new fashion in the Knights? Or...maybe you aren't allowed to have a cooler mask than your master...I remember he always wanted to the best dressed kid on the playground..." His father smirks while reminiscing about the long gone past, while looking at his kid who is hiding in plain sight, from him.

 _ **KR: He thinks my mask is cool! Hey...what does he think they my knights are...a wedding?!**_

 _So awkward...at least he doesn't seem to have disowned me...that's good I guess...but if he knew who I was he might take out some baby pictures of me.._

 _ **KR: You're afraid of that...ah...that makes sense, you would die of shame if he did that in front of the girl you like...**_

 _That's not the reason..._

 _ **KR: Then what...?**_

 _I don't know..._

"Poisonous gas," says Rey, who so far only watched them interact from the sidelines and was ready to jump in if Ben was in any danger.

"Sorry?" His father turns surprised to Rey as if he had forgotten she was there and Ben had to admit that he had forgotten about her too and feels ashamed about it.

 _ **KR: You should feel more ashamed over having dragged her into this farce...**_

"The masks are because of the poisonous gas...we were planning to kill who ever came on board," explains Rey, a bit shamefully.

 _Not kill...scare away..._

 _ **KR: You could've killed them...**_

"And whose bright idea was it to use gas?" asks his father sternly.

"His." Rey points at Ben by her side, who tries hide from the disappointing and piercing gaze of his father.

"As expected of a former darkside user...so that's why Chewie has trouble talking. You better not have harmed him in any way." His father glares and wiggles a finger at them sternly, as if it was just a horrible prank gone wrong.

"No, we fixed the gas...there was no gas leaking," replies Rey hurriedly.

"Hmm...then why does Chewie act like this? Do you have a cold?" Han looks behind at

Chewie, who shakes his head and points straight at Ben.

His father's worried expression turns instantly and he looks lived.

 _Oh, no! He knows...at last he knows the truth! I'm doomed..._

 _ **KR: About time...and didn't you want that...?**_

His father jumps down into the grating area and stalks over to Ben.

* * *

Rey walks quickly in front of Ben.

"You will have to go through me," she says bravely, but Ben pats her shoulder and says: "No, no Rey. It's okay..."

 _I guess he would find out sooner or later...these lies were tearing me apart anyway...I lost..._

"I'm sorry..." He dips his head, as he ready himself for the worst lecture ever.

"Sorry...so you are the one hurting Chewie? You are choking him with the force?!" shouts his father at him.

 _Whaaat...?_

 **KR:** _ **That's what he thinks Chewie has been saying the whole time...?!**_

Chewie growls weakly, shakes his head and keeps pointing at Ben, puzzling Han further.

"No sir, I would never do anything to hurt Chewie!" shouts Ben and jumps behind Rey, who looks surprised that he is using her as cover already, after acting so brave less than a minute ago.

 _It far too dangerous to be the one endangering Chewie...especially when he thinks I'm just some random stranger! It is bad enough if he thought, I, his son was doing it!_

His father lifts an eyebrow. "Why would you never do anything to hurt Chewie? It is good, but that phrasing, do you know each other...is that why you are acting like this?" asks his father Chewie, who nods and points at Ben.

"Everyone knows Chewie!" shouts Ben and walks in front of Rey, echoing what the others said not long ago and drawing his father's attention back to him from Chewie the truth holder.

Ben is going crazing with wanting his father to know above anything and at the same wanting to do everything to hide the truth of his identity.

 _ **KR: Just give up already...**_

 _I can't...this is important to me...it's his last chance to save me..._

"I'm sorry, I jumped to the wrong conclusions...what are you keeping in that pouch? It looks heavy." His father points at the pouch where Ben keeps Kylo Ren's helmet.

 _He can't see my helmet!_

 _ **KR: It would be so funny if it just fell out of your pouch...**_

"Nothing...sir," lies Ben and tries to hide the bulky pouch behind his back.

Rey looks surprised that he's lying, but doesn't interfere in any way and instead keep on acting as his, mostly silent, but confused guardian angel.

Finn furrows his brows over Ben's unusual behaviour, while Poe and BB-8 smirk and Chewie glares at him for lying, takes up lozenge from his pouch and crushes it angrily between his teeth.

His father just shakes his head. "More of nothing...you are full of secrets...hiding your face behind a mask, wants to stay in this dark place...I will never understand your kind, kid."

 _ **KR: Kind...do a lot of people hide their faces behind mask and stay in dark places...?**_

"Well, I'm not staying here. It's not good for my back," says his father and starts to climb up again.

 _He's leaving..._

Something snaps inside Ben at last, when he sees the back of his father getting away.

" _I will come back for you when you have gotten ridden of the darkness, I promise..."_ echoes the broken promise from twenty years ago in his mind.

 _He can't go...no please don't leave...don't leave..._

"No, please don't leave!" Ben clings to his back, dragging him back down, shocking Han as he only see this as an overreaction, as he's only climbing out of the area not going anywhere.

 _Save me from the darkness in my soul!_

Now Finn and Rey gets even more confused, Poe and BB-8 don't look like they are enjoying this so much anymore and look worried instead, while Chewie looks sad.

"I'm not leaving you kid...I'm right here. Why don't you come up?" his father turns to him and takes his hand as if he dealing with a small child instead of an adult.

"I'm not ready..." says Ben in a small voice and let's go of his hand, though he doesn't want to.

 _Everything hurts...why don't you know who I am...? You're supposed to see through my lies...you always could...why can't you see through me this time...? Help me, I'm stuck! I don't know who I am anymore...!_

 _ **KR: Do you want him to lift you up of the area...it might break his back now...**_

 _Of course not...but I still need his help...to come back..._

"Why don't you take of your mask? Or is it stuck...do you want me to help you take it off?" His father lifts up his hand.

 _YES!_

"No...I'm fine..." Ben backs away from his hand.

"You don't look fine to me...are you sure?" asks his father worried and Ben just nods.

 _No! I need help!_

His father shrugs. "Okay, kid. It's your life...I don't control it." He climbs out of the area and Ben shouts at him inside his mind.

 _No, please, I'm out of control...I need you...!_

 _ **KR: Maybe you should just let him adopt you...then you can get your dad back without giving away your identity and having to face your crimes...you could call yourself...Ken...Rolo or something...then you could be forever stay in hide and seek...**_

 _ **But, of course your mom knows you real identity and kind of everyone on board...so everything about this game is stupid...and pointless!**_

 _You're no help as usual..._

 _ **KR: I don't have time for...games...**_

* * *

Finn stares at Han, when he has climbed up, as if he is the most dangerous man alive, despite not being armed and even Chewie has long since put his weapon down, so everyone could walk freely around the ship and they still decided to annoy Ben, by staying behind and watch everything, when he only wanted to keep Rey around, even though she would hit him if she really knew what was happening.

Han notices Finn's stare and smirks. "You kids don't need to fear me, I'm just a harmless old man..."

"Just a harmless old man...?" Finn looks between Ben and Han as he tries to figure out their connection and why Ben was so afraid of him in the beginning and coming up blank.

"Unless you stole this ship..." Han fixes everyone of them with a stern and fierce glare.

 _I would never dream of trying to steal the Falcon again...it ended way too badly for me last time! I couldn't sit for a day, I was grounded for a whole week, Chewie was so mad and mom broke my toy saber and gave me the worst lecture ever!_

"We didn't steal it!" says Ben quickly, surprising the whole gang with the desperation in his voice. Even Han and Chewie look surprised.

 _ **KR: Technically we stole it from whoever owned it on Jakku...**_

 _That doesn't count! And dad wouldn't punish me for taking it from those who stole it in the first place!_

 _ **KR: No, he will punish you for lying to him this whole time...and for everything else bad you've done since he last saw you...**_

 _That's an awfully long list..._

"Don't worry, kid, I was only kidding. This ship was stolen long time ago, but where did you find it?" asks his father in a far milder voice and Rey answers for the group. "Jakku."

"That junkyard! Chewie, I said we should've checked out the Outer Rim systems," says his father, but Chewie doesn't seem to care about that, as he points desperately at Ben.

 _Shut up, Shut up...!_

 _ **KR: Don't worry...he can't talk...yet...**_

"What is it? Isn't your throat any better? And why do you keep pointing at this kid?" His father turns to him. "Maybe he's pointing at something behind you...are you sure there isn't any gas leak?"

 _Phew...my dad can be so thick sometimes..._

 _ **KR: Father like son...**_

 _Shut up, Kylo!_

"No, no leak. Sir," says Rey after he had checked the pipes thoroughly.

"Hmm..." His father looks between Chewie and Ben, but before he can come to any conclusion Finn pipes in, who looks directly at Ben: "But what I don't understand is, why were you so afraid of some old old man?"

"What are you talking about?" ask Han look between Finn and Ben down in the grating area, who stiffens.

"He said you were worse than the First Order...and even planned on killing you with poisonous gas," continues Finn.

 _Shut up, Finn!_

 _ **KR: Yeah! I'm not afraid of him! I'm not afraid of anything!**_

 _Not even Snoke...?_

 _ **Maybe a little...he sometimes has me electrocuted to get closer to the darkside...it hurts!**_

"What do you mean...I thought it was meant for however came on board..." says his father, Rey nods, but Finn shakes his head and explains: "No, you see Kylo Ren here is forcesensetive. So he knew who you were before you boarded us..."

His father blinks furiously. "Did you say...Kylo Ren...?!" He gawks at Ben while Chewie and the gang minus Ben nod to confirm that he heard right.

 _ **KR: Busted!**_

 _I'm not giving up! I can still fix this! I can still win this game!_

 _ **KR: No you can't...and you really shouldn't...**_

"And now the real show will start." Poe leans back on the container, while throwing an imaginary popcorn into the air.

* * *

 _Next up: Game over..._


	9. Game over

_AN: The second part of the chapter before..._

* * *

Chapter nine - Game over

"Are you...Kylo...Ren...?" asks his father in a hollow voice, where Ben keeps staying in the grating area, despite it being one of the worst places aboard the Falcon, to stay too long in and to make matters worse, feels terrible for wearing the uncomfortable gas mask for so long, as it feels suffocating and is so hot under it.

 _My feet hurts...my brain hurts...everything hurts..._

"Former," adds Rey quickly as if that would make all the difference and steps determined in front of Ben, since she has no trouble staying forever in small cramped spaces, thanks to her survival skills.

"Yeah, former. Sorry, forgot to say that," pipes Finn inn, who stands beside Poe and adds: "He's not dangerous anymore."

Poe shrugs and BB-8 chirps while Chewie looks intently between father and son.

"I'm asking you, are you...or used to be Kylo Ren?" asks his father again, in firmer voice this time.

 _ **KR: Well, this was a "fun" game while it lasted. But, wow are you in big trouble now...**_

"I was...but that's only because we are all named Kylo Ren in the knights of Ren, full name Knights of Kylo Ren. I was Kylo Ren...the fourteenth, because I'm not the master of them," lies Ben and if he didn't wear a mask, his father would see through him right away.

 _ **KR: Huh? What are you doing?**_

All of his gang plus Chewie look surprised over his words.

His father looks so disappointed. "Oh...sorry I thought you were someone else...or think...I don't know his...number. But, that would be impossible. He's never coming back..." His father stares sadly ahead.

 _Impossible?! I'm right here!_

 _ **KR: You're impossible...**_

"Really? I thought at least one of you guys were named Ren Ren," says Finn surprised.

 _Gagh...didn't except a lowly trooper to know anything about the knights!_

"That's the only exception..." replies Ben quickly, while sweating profusely under the gas mask.

 _ **KR: Ren Ren must hate me now...**_

 _Isn't that good for the darkside..?_

 _ **KR: It's good to hate...but I don't like people hating me...**_

"And I thought you were only seven," says Finn suspiciously and Ben replies: "We used to be seven..."

"And that you were their leader." Finn frowns at him and Ben shouts: "I'm not! That's Kylo Ren...the first...I'm just a nobody..."

"Huh, news to me." Finn looks thoughtful, as if he missed an important briefing meeting in the First Order where Kylo Ren got demoted and everything in the Knights were changed.

 _ **KR: Nobody!? I'm the freaking master of them and you are calling me a nobody! If I weren't stuck in your head, I would be kicking your ass right now!**_

"And to clear something else up. I was not afraid of them...but their cargo," says Ben and points accusingly at his father.

Han looks at Chewie, as he had forgot what they were transporting and then it dawns on him.

"Our cargo...oh...yeah they are monsters..." His father nods and Finn's panic skyrockets again and he shouts: "Monsters..?!" He jumps and hugs Poe again in fright, while looking in every corner as he's excepting some slimy things to crawl through a crack.

Poe smirks and claps his back in comfort and BB-8, who looks scared as well and leans up to him.

"What kind of monsters?" asks Rey curiously and a tiny bit afraid. She grabs Ben hand and looks at him, like she's saying: _Whatever it is, I will protect you!_

 _ **KR: It should be the other way around...but I don't blame her for not trusting YOU to keep her safe...**_

 _I don't mind..._

"It's better if you didn't know," replies his father, as if they knew they would get nightmares for weeks and judging from Finn's reaction that would happen, who still hangs onto Poe.

 _I knew it. He's smuggling some monsters as usual, yeah that's why I was afraid..._

 _ **KR: Liar...you didn't even think of their presence until now...**_

"So you see, I had to use gas. It was for our safety, it comes first," lies Ben convincely and most of the gathering seems to buy it, except for Chewie who frowns at him and Poe who shakes his head, with Finn still wrapped tightly around him.

"Fair enough. We smugglers have to be prepared for anything." His father shrugs carelessly, with the same carelessness that annoyed his mother so much and would without doubt still do today.

 _Thankfully, mom has not been able to contact him about me coming back to the light or we would be having a very different conversation..._

"Hey, since he's smuggler just like your dad, maybe he knows where your dad is," says Rey excitedly and turns to Ben, who doesn't share her excitement in least and if he didn't wear a mask, she would see how he miserable he really felt, though she should be able to tell through the force.

 _I been very wary of what she thinks is an unknown smuggler and she thinks I wants to meet my dad? Can't she make the connection?!_

 _ **KR: You clung to his back, asking him not to leave you. Obviously you have some daddy issues, so maybe she just trying to help you in her own way...**_

 _ **OR...what I really think...**_

 _ **NOBODY understands how your stupid brain works...STUUUPID!**_

"What's your name, kid?" asks his father, eager to help.

" _Ittle...En...?"_ growls Chewie with his sore throat and his father perks his ears. "What, did you just say? I can't hear you."

"My name is Ken, Ken Rolo," lies Ben coldly, startling Rey who had no idea he had done nothing but lie to this man.

 _ **KR: That's your fake name...?! That was my idea...and why do you keep lying to him? Chewie already told him the truth! Or well half of it...you are making everything worse! Stop this game!**_

* * *

"What are you doing...?" Ben covers Rey's mouth before she can say anything more and says to her through forcelink _: "Let me deal with this..."_

To his surprise she shouts back at him through the forcelink. " _Ben! What the hell?!"_

 _ **KR: She can use a force link all ready! I'm a little jealous over her powers...**_

Ben turns off the link, uncovers her mouth and she glares at him, but doesn't say anything.

"Why is he lying to this man?" whispers Finn to Poe, who has let go off him and thanks to the forcehearing, Ben can hear every word they are saying. "Why is he so afraid of him? I thought it was only the cargo that scared him."

Poe shrugs. "Beats me..."

BB-8 chirps something and Finn stare at Han Solo as if he is expecting him to hide some super weapon under his jacket.

"Rolo...I can't say that is ringing any bells, sorry. Though that's a bit surprising considering how I know every scoundrel around..." says his father and looks to Chewie for help, who still can't talk.

 _ **KR: Poor Chewie, I hope he didn't lose his voice for good.**_

 _Yeah...that would suck._

"Maybe Chewie knows where he is, aren't they like best pals?" asks Poe and has big trouble in keeping the laughter in.

 _POE!_

"Best pals? Beside me...Chewie, you're full of surprises." His father grins, but Chewie doesn't think anything of this is funny and points quickly between Han and Ben.

"No, Chewie, I already told them. I don't know his father," says his father tiredly and Chewie facepalms himself.

 _ **KR: Chewie is so going to kill you for lying to your father.**_

 _Well, he was going to kill me anyway..._

"Doesn't matter. I don't want to meet him, I'm on my way to the resistance to mom and that's it," snaps Ben at his father and Rey glares at him. _Shame, shame._

Chewie growls something at him and Poe shakes his head with BB-8 while Finn looks confused.

"Your mom is in the resistance?" asks his father surprised.

 _Oops..._

Ben looks desperately around the ship for inspiration. "Yeah...she's...a...umm...a x-wing...pilot...Poelina?" He looks at Poe, who frowns at him for using him like that.

 _ **KR: More lies...really?**_

"So your dad is a smuggler and your mother is a part of the resistance?" asks his father, as he tries to add something together in his head.

"Yes..." answers Ben warley.

 _ **KR: The first truth you spoke...this would be perfect opportunity to just you know, say you are...**_

"Huh...well, maybe your dad wants to meet you, had you thought of that?" His father frowns at him and Ben retorts with: "He abandoned me."

 _ **KR: Ah...the second truth...and maybe the key to everything...**_

Rey looks doubtful while his father gets a sad look into his eyes. "I'm so sorry to hear that Ken, was it? Before you leave..."

"Abandoned you? Hardly, didn't leave you with your cool Jedi uncle?" snaps Rey at him, as she has had enough of his lies, though this was no lie.

 _Shut up...I mean quiet...my dearest Rey..._

 _ **KR: Even she has turned against you...**_

"Jedi...uncle...?" asks his father bewildered and Ben shrugs and replies: "Everyone called master Luke that..."

 _ **KR: Haha...no one did...not even us...**_

Rey glowers at him, while his father looks curiously at him and asks: "You were one of his padawans. How did you escape the slaughter?"

"Umm...I was one of the slaughters..." replies Ben, as he has no other answer for that, but telling the truth.

Rey gasps, as she's only one in the room who has very little idea about Ben's dark past, while all the others glare at him.

 _ **KR: You keep falling from her graces...**_

 _I was darkside...what did she expect? That I was picking sunflowers all day?_

"That was not nice. If you were my son I would put you over my knee for it," his father scowls at him.

 _Okay...I'm definitely never telling him the truth now...!_

 _ **KR: Please tell him the truth! But come on, it wasn't naughty...it was evil!**_

"I know it wasn't...nice. I making amends for it..." replies Ben shamefully and wants to sink through the floor under his father's disappointing gaze and his father scoffs: "How? Luke's missing..." He frowns at him and Chewie does as well.

 _Great...Chewie was mad enough at me all ready..._

"Why do you care about that?" asks Rey and his father replies: "Luke is a dear friend of mine."

"Oh..." Rey looks between Ben and his father, as if she had found out their connection though she is still far from the truth.

Finn looks thoughtfully and then questioningly at Poe, their leader, who says: "We have the map, that's why we are going to the resistance." He pats BB-8 who chirps happily.

Han's head snaps up. "You...found the map." He smiles sadly. "That's really good news. Kid...I'm sure your father regrets leaving you with your...Jedi uncle." He turns to Ben, who is surprised over his words as he must be speaking the truth.

"He does?" he asks in a small voice and his father nods. "I'm sure of it."

"It's too late for regrets," growls Ben at him.

 _I will never forgive you...ow!_

Rey slaps him upside the head and glares at him for not wanting to meet his father again.

"Why are you hitting him?" asks his father. "Are you his sister?"

 _Nooooo!_

 _ **KR: Ahaha, that would be so funny...**_

"No, I'm not," replies Rey curtly.

"Girlfriend?" ask his father. "You are awfully protective of him."

It suddenly got a lot hotter under the gas mask.

"No, he told me he was going to meet his family again and I intend on bringing him safely home," says Rey and glares fiercely at Ben who gulps under glare.

 _ **KR: Haha, she doesn't consider herself your girlfriend...**_

 _I...I haven't told her how I feel..._

"Please stop hitting him, but she's right...you should at least meet him..." pleads his father.

"Look, why can't you just leave me alone?" snaps Ben, who rubs his head, that still hurts even though is hidden under gas mask and moves away from Rey, so she can't slap him again, as she had intended to, despite his father's wish.

His father sighs. "I can't leave you alone...because you remind me of my son."

 _I AM YOUR SON! Why can't you kriffing see it?_

 _ **KR: Why can't you just...tell him?**_

 _I don't want to...I told you...it's complicated..._

 _ **KR: Everything with you is...**_

"Where is he now?" asks Rey and his father exhales sadly. "I don't know..."

 _Right in front of you, you stupid, stupid, old man!_

 _ **KR: Sigh...you are the idiot...**_

"But what I do know, is that I would do everything to get him back." His father stares right at his son, who stares coldly back at him through the mask.

 _Give me million credits and hundred really cool lightsabers and I might consider it...might..._

 _ **KR: You're so evil...**_

"He will be back," says Rey, the one always hoping for her own family reunion and has no idea that there is a (very bitter) family reunion happening right in front of her eyes.

"I hope so..." says his father, that has no idea that his son is so close to him that they can nearly touch.

 _You think I would come to my senses on my own...oh wait, that just what happened! No thanks to you!_

"No, what am I saying...he's never coming back...he's lost forever..." says his father and Rey looks sympathetic for the stranger and says. "That's awful to hear."

 _No! You gave up on me...you didn't even try!_

 _ **KR: You're so angry, wouldn't just be easier to go back to the darkside and stop this drama?**_

 _No...I'm never going back._

"Fine...I will meet my father...after I've delivered the map..." snarls Ben and Rey smiles relieved despite the coldness of the words.

 _I will never return to him..._

"That's good kid..." His father smiles sadly, happy to be able to at least guide one prodigal son home, although he wishes most for his own to return.

 _Okay leave us now in peace..._

"Before you leave...do you have any news of your leader...not Smoke...Kylo Ren...the first, I think...or does he have a another number? Or do you have a new master?" He scratches his head in thought.

 _Oh come on...just go already! You lost the game. You lost me and therefor you have no right to ask anything about me!_

 _ **KR: But he cares...**_

 _It's too late..._

* * *

"I thought you weren't from the First Order," snaps Finn at him, from behind him and who is making a new theory about why Kylo Ren was scared of the old man and has been watching them whole time, while Poe is playing a nurse to Chewie along with BB-8, by trying different mixtures and lozenges from Chewie's pouch.

"I'm not, I just happen to know their leader...personally...or I think he is their leader..." says his father, without taking his eyes of Ben, who glares at him through his mask.

 _I'm tired of this game...go away..._

"Their leader...? Personally?" Rey looks between Ben and him, deep in thought.

 _Glurgh...I hope she won't figure it out..._

"So you do work for the First Order?" Finn glares at him as he trusts nobody.

"I work for nobody...but myself. Any news of him?" asks his father, Ben in a firm voice.

"Why are you so obsessed with him?" asks Finn suspiciously. "Are you working for the Knights of Ren?"

"None of your business, I'm asking him, as he was in direct contact with him." His father points at Ben, who answers in a clipped voice that would make Captain Phasma proud: "You are talking about former Ben Solo, who is Kylo Ren the first and the master of the Knights of Ren."

 _ **KR: Ok, you are not calling me a nobody. Sorry I snapped earlier...but you are still stupid...**_

"Yes...how do you know that? I thought you gave up your birth names when you went to the darkside..." Han looks at Finn as if he seemed to know everything about the First Order, but Finn just shrugs as his knowledge about the Knights seems to be way outdated.

Rey looks more confused than ever while Poe and BB-8 looks intrigued. Chewie glares at him for not telling the truth.

"Do you want to know how many he has killed...tortured...maimed?" replies Ben with another question, ignores everyone around him and focus only on his father.

 _ **KR: Three Thousand and twenty three...twenty four if you had allowed me to kill the old coot...that started all this mess!**_

 _The wombat rats and control panels don't count..._

 _ **KR: Oh...then only twenty three...**_

"I'm not interested in that..." His father looks disappointed and shocked to be reminded of that Ben's life with the Knights doesn't contain rainbows, lollipops or unicorns.

 _ **KR: That life would suck...**_

 _I thought you liked cuteness.._

 _ **KR: Just some, not everything...and just so I can destroy it...**_

"Then what? Do you think he has come back to his senses or something?" snarls Ben at his father, who looks taken aback by that question, but then he shakes his head with sad face. "No...that can't happen..." His father exhales tiredly.

"Why do you think that? It could happen...it happened to me..." snaps Ben at him and a spark of hope comes into his father's eyes who ask: "It could? How...?"

"He needs help. Did you ever thought about that? Did you ever try to save him?" keeps Ben snapping at him.  
"Save him...? I can save him...?" His father looks like he's about to sprint right to the First Order to do just that.

 _ **KR: What on Jakku are you doing?**_

"Did you ever stop to think that maybe he has been waiting forever for you...to bring him home?" says Ben.

 _ **KR: You..really really should stop talking now...**_

"How do you know this? Did he tell you this?" His father looks a bit skeptical.

 _ **KR: Yeah, because we talk about emotional stuff like that in the Knights and braid each other's hair...**_

Ben shrugs. "I just know it."

"How can I save him...?" His father looks at him, desperate for answers.

 _ **KR: Do you want your dad to go to the First Order or something and ask after you when you are right in front of him? How cruel are you?**_

"It's too late now," snaps Ben without mercy making all hope die in his father's eyes. "So...I lost him..."

 _ **KR: That was so mean...**_

 _He lost the game..._

"Yes, you did and I'm a traitor now so I'm never returning. You can have the Falcon back..." Ben at last climbs out of the grating area and gives his devastating father, a curt nod on his way to the exit.

 _Goodbye forever...father..._

"What do you mean by back...? I thought it was your father's ship," snap Rey at him who climbs after him and is annoyed over being kept out of the plot.

 _I said too much!_

 _ **KR: You've done nothing, but that...instead of just telling the kriffing truth!**_

"Yeah, I thought so too..." say Finn, who looks to be as equally as pissed, as he still doesn't understand fully what Ben's panic is all about.

Only Poe and BB-8 seems to be having fun at his expense and Chewie stands up as if he's ready to grab him if he decides to bolt.

"No, it's mine. I've been looking for ages for it. Why are you lying to them, kid?" growls his father at him and is about to grab his shoulder to interrogate him further, but Ben manages to get away in nick of time thanks to his force reflexes.

"I will just go in the next escape pod. Thanks for the ride..." Ben gives him a curt nod again and sprints away.

 _Gotta get out of here and fast!_

"BEN, where are you going?!" shouts Rey after him.

"Ben? I thought his name was Ken...wait, father's ship...Ben...? Not...my...Ben..Ben?! Stop right there!" yells his father after him.

"Your Ben...?" says Rey surprised.

"His Ben...?" asks Finn and him and Rey look at each other as the realization sinks in. "No way..." They both facepalm. "We are idiots..."

Chewie who has had enough of this farce, captures him in mid run and growls at him: " _You're not going anywhere."_ Chewie looks surprised and glad to have gotten his voice back at last, while Ben feels his whole world just crushed.

 _No..._

 _ **KR: Game over...**_

* * *

Chewie turns him around, forcing him to face his father at last, who says in an authoritative voice: "Take...of your mask..."

Ben hesitates, but knowing there really is no escape, as the growling wookie holding his shoulders makes a convincing argument, he takes it off.

 _He won't recognize me there have been too many years, that there is just no way...he's not even forcesensetive, mom would know my forcesignature, the stupid security questions were just to be extra safe, but he will say, this is not Ben. This is an imposter...send him away. He even gave up on me a long time ago...so I better just disappear from his life forever..._

"Ben..." says his father in a hollow voice when at last he sees his face.

 _Force...how can I answer that...I'm not ready for this confrontation. I believe I will never be ready._

" _Yes, this is little Ben...all grown up..."_ growls Chewie and nods thankfully to Poe and BB-8 for curing his sore throat.

Poe gives him a thumbs up and BB-8 does that with his electric arm by shooting small spark of electricity into the air.

"Yeah, it's Ben Solo." Poe grins deviously. "Your son."

 _Why you...I will remember this!_

 _ **KR: Your "cover" had already been blown...**_

"His son!" Rey and Finn exclaims in unison, as the truth has finally been brought to light.

"So you are Han Solo, the smuggler," says Rey.

"I thought he was a war hero," say Finn.

"And my hero." Poe grins. "He's one of the reasons I became a pilot...well he and my family of pilots."

Even BB-8 chirps something, but Han Solo is not listening to any of their ramblings and only mumbles while staring at his prodigal son. "What...why...how?"

A torrent of emotions goes over his elderly features, while Ben is frozen in place. He is hoping to able to sink through the floor, disappear into space and not having to answer all these questions. This is his hardest test yet...

"Ben, you didn't have to panic this much, it was just your dad...wait...was that what was worse than the First Order?!" exclaims Finn, when realizing at last what Ben panic was really all about. He turns to Poe and BB-8 who snickers and says: "So that's what you were laughing about..."

They nod while Rey stalks to Ben with vengeance and shouts at him: "Did you just try to kill your...?!" Ben covers Rey's mouth again where she stops in front of him, but this time she bites him.

"Ouch!"

A flash of life comes into his father's eyes for a brief moment when hearing Ben hurt himself, but then it's gone again and he stares frozen at his long lost son.

Ben withdraws his bitten hand in shock and gazes stunned at murderous Rey.

 _She bit me!_

 _ **KR: I told you she was dangerous.**_

 _Just a love bite..._

 _ **KR: No...she's really, really mad at you for trying to kill your father, one of her heroes and to have her as an accomplice. And for lying to him and trying to abandon your family again...which is a big NO NO in her book!**_

She whispers at him. " _You're in so so much trouble..."_ Ben sees her death glare and is thankful that her staff is safely tucked away in a corner in the cockpit or he might get a real concussion this time.

 _Yikes...!_

"Yeah, he's scared of his daddy. You know, he tried to kill you with poisonous gas...," says Poe while smirking, as if he's an older brother telling on his younger one.

"Shut up, Poe! Don't get me into more trouble!" growls Ben at him.

 _Oh, I said that aloud. Didn't I?_

 _ **KR: Yebb...**_

 _Force..._

But Han only keeps staring at Ben, still unable to move because of the shock.

 _Did he get frozen again?_

Chewie is the first of the reunited family to make a move. He grabs Ben in a bone-crushing hug and growls happily: " _Little Ben is finally back!"_

"Ah, Chewie... I can't...breathe!"

Hearing his son's voice in great distress, finally snap Han Solo back to his senses. "Chewie, let go of him. Let go of my son!" When Chewie doesn't obey, Han tries to pulls his hands he away from crushing his son in an all too familiar hug, probably like the one he gave Han when he was unfrozen from the carbonite. Ben's return to them must be akin to that.

Chewie finally releases Ben, who coughs violently. He stiffens when he sees the fuming and piercing gaze of his father.

"Umm...hi...father..."

 _Help me!_

 _ **KR: Oh, no you are on your own. You rejected me and my good advice and YOU got yourself into this stupid mess. You deal with it...**_

 _But, he's going to kill me!_

 _ **KR: Not my problem...**_

 _I'm so doomed!_

* * *

 _Next up: Family time..._


	10. A father's lecture

_AN: I decided to divide the chapter again and in four this time...so the story is now about twenty one chapters (could be a bit more or less)..._

 _Thank you so much for the reviews, follows and favorites! You guys rock so much! I can't thank you enough! I will try to update as fast as I again._

 _Flowergirl, thanks for the reviews! Happy to see you are still enjoying this story. Of course he will be encouraging about Rey, as soon as he realize how his son feels and how good she is for him... ;) For now he's bit wary of her..._

* * *

Chapter ten - A father's lecture

 _Well, the good news is that I don't have to hide anymore behind the suffocating gas mask or down in the small grating area..._

 _ **KR: The bad new is...you are doomed...!**_

 _I'm so doomed!_

After the truth came out, his father started pacing in small circles as Ben remembered he only ever did, if something was worrying him deeply or if he was fuming mad or if Ben was in deep trouble, as is the case now and he has no idea where to even begin scolding him.

But, thanks to his force sensitivity, he can feel his father's feelings instead of just trying to guess them from his behavior and to his bewilderment, his father is both furiously angry and seemly delirious with happiness.

 _Is it possible to be both at the same time? Why should he even be happy? My brain must be playing tricks on me...it wouldn't be the first time..._

 _ **KR: Don't you feel the same?**_

 _No...or well I don't understand my feelings...I don't understand anything..._

 _ **KR: If I were you I would never trust my brain...trust me instead...**_

 _That's never going to happen...I mean...again...but I've to get out of here, before my father comes to his senses!_

 _ **KR: You have no sense...**_

Ben looks quickly for an exit, but there is none as his whole gang has him surrounded and to make matters worse, his father isn't the only one mad at him, but his whole gang is staring angrily at him, even BB-8 is hopping mad at him for lying to his father, despite being one of the few in the room that knew the truth the whole time, thanks to his owner who had whispered it to him before the survival game began.

Poe doesn't seem be enjoying this so much as he did or maybe he just pretending not to, where he is staring sternly at him along with the others, Finn is angry over having been panicking over nothing and having been made a complete fool, but Rey is probably the angriest of them all for having been used in Ben's long plot of not meeting his father ever again, a big sin in the eyes of the one who has been waiting forever for her own family to return. She seems to be very tempted to retrieve her staff from the cockpit to teach Ben a harsh lesson in not leaving his family ever again, but thankfully, she along with everyone else is waiting for his father to make the first move.

 _ **KR: Checkmate...**_

Ben feels even more trapped than when he was down in the grating area, so he is very tempted to jump back down there, but this time with the grating over, preferably bolted in with the force so he can't get out and no one can get in...without a least a crowbar or a lightsaber...

Chewie, who follows his eye movements, puts the grating back on and sits on it, cross legged and growls at him, as if he knows what he was thinking. " _Don't even think about it, little Ben."_

 _Damn...I'm really trapped now..._

 _ **KR: And you can't blame anyone but yourself...**_

 _I will blame you..._

 _ **KR: Hey! That's so unfair! And I doubt your dad will buy it...he never did.**_

 _Huh...what's that supposed to mean...?_

 _ **KR: You will find out...**_

"So...that's what you were trying to tell me this whole time..." mutters his father to Chewie, who at long last has come to some conclusion and stops his endless nerve wrecking pacing.

Chewie nods and wiggles a finger at Ben sternly. " _Naughty Ben."_

Ben gulps audible under the wookiees stern gaze and his father starts pacing again furiously, while mumbling all the time. "Everything makes sense now...the stupid mask...why he couldn't come up...everything he said...all his...lies...why he tried to run away...from me...even the poisonous gas..."

His father stops in front of him and Ben stiffens under his stern gaze. He glares dagger at the gas mask, which Ben is still holding in his hands and Ben quickly hides it behind his back, as if that would make everyone of his lie go away.

"Give me that!"

Ben throws the mask to him, as he doesn't dare to come near him in this mood and his father catches it with ease and throws into a wall behind his gang, who jumps up in fright.

His father stares after it as it falls to the ground with a breaking noise, which startles his gang even further and they all share the same look, " _Now we know where Ben's got his temper from!"_

 _Mom's gots a even worse temper...and that's saying a lot...and I got the temper from both of them...no wonder I'm a mess..._

 _ **KR: I'm so glad that wasn't our helmet...he might have broken it...**_

 _Or my head..._

At last he turns back to Ben and thunders: "YOU ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE!"

 _ **KR: He's so angry with you...**_

 _Thank you captain obvious!_

 _ **KR: He's a good darkside material...too bad he isn't forcesensetive...**_

 _You leave my father alone!_

"Go find a corner and think about what you did."

There is not a single hesitation or quiver in his voice any more and Ben is stunned to see how his father could change his whole demeanor from what was before a complete stranger into his strict father, once again.

"What!" exclaims Ben and stares in disbelief at his dad.

 _ **KR: He asked you to find a corner...**_

 _I know what he said...but he can't be serious...I excepted a horrible lecture...not...a corner time!_

"You heard me, I'm too...upset to deal with you right now. Find a corner now," his father points at the appointed corner so Ben won't even have to waste time to find one and yet Ben denies to give up yet and succumb to that childish treatment.

"I'm not going..." begins Ben angrily, but his father stops him by staying in a threatening voice: "You will go into that corner now or I will drag you on the ear to it."

Ben grumbles and stomps on his way to the dreaded corner, while passing by his furious gang, who all think he deserves this childish punishment for acting like a stubborn fool.

* * *

Ben's brain is still in escape mode, whereas he stares into the corner, despite having lost the survival game and how on Corusant, did he manage to end up in a corner twice the same day...?

 _Or is this another day...what time is it? Is it night-time? Everything seems to have gone both so quickly and slow at the same time...or am I trapped in some timeless loop...how did I get myself into this...this mess?_

 _ **KR: By not listening to me...**_

 _But, I can still escape this stupidity...I just have to ignite my saber...no one would dare to stand in my way then, not even dad...I just have to kidnap Rey and BB-8 on the way, to take them with me to the resistance!_

 _ **KR: Kidnap Rey...you? Yeah, right...**_

 _Then I will just ask her very nicely..._

 _ **KR: Rey hates you now and...BB-8 will shock you if you come near him...**_

 _Fine, then I will just go alone to the resistance, with no map...and no Rey...at least mom will be happy to see me..._

 _ **KR: That's a horrible, horrible plan...have you forgotten about what your mom said?**_

 _Mom...? What she said...? MOM! You're right...if she hears about anything about this...she's going to kill me and break my saber!_

 _ **KR: You tried to kill your father...and Chewie...**_

 _I'm so screwed! I've to convince my dad...and Chewie not tell on me!_

 _ **KR: And Poe, don't forget he's the one reporting directly to your mom...**_

 _Damn...I've to be nice to Poe...I'm not sure I can do that...he was enjoying this way too much! And what's up with that guy? One minute he super overprotective and annoying and the next he enjoys seeing me in misery and even laughs about it! Like an...older brother... a mean older brother..._

 _ **KR: He loves to torment you...just like Rey...**_

 _Rey doesn't love to torment me! She just...punishes me...for being bad..._

 _ **KR: And you...like that? No, please don't answer that!**_

 _Okay, I won't..._

 _ **KR: Thank you...for doing something right...**_

Ben rests his aching and sore head on the cold wall. He is thankful that he got some time to think over his plan to kidnap Rey and BB-8 before trying to execute it, as it would've just ended horribly and got him into even more trouble, than he already is.

 _ **KR: Maybe you should always go in a corner to think before you do stuff. It sure would save me a lot of a headache...**_

Deep down Ben has to admit that he prefers this situation over what he had few minutes ago, as

it was killing him inside that his father didn't recognize him despite all the obvious signs and at the same, that he was for some reason, mentally unable to tell him the truth. Now, things aren't any longer in his hand and things don't feel like they are spinning out of control, as his father has taken control of him and even though Ben will never admit it aloud, that is what he had wished for...for a very long time.

Someone to help him get his life back...on track, but of course not without a fight...as he's too stubborn to admit he's wrong and last, but not least he still furious with his father for leaving him behind in the first place...and demands an explanation for it...a good one...

 _At last we can move forward...whatever that means...your move...dad..._

* * *

"Did you all know about this? Were you keeping me son away from me?!"

Behind him, Ben can hear his father scold his gang harshly as if they were all his accomplices in his horrible prank gone all wrong.

 _Well, at least I am not the only one in trouble..._

 _ **KR: I feel a bit sorry for them to be taking the fall for your stupidity...kind of like how you always did to me...**_

 _Huh...what are you blabbering about...?_

"No, sir! We had no idea who you really were! I would never, ever break a family apart!" shouts Rey, angry that anyone would think that she out of everyone would do that, and Ben can feel her murderous glare on his back.

 _ **KR: She hates you...she really, really hates you now...**_

 _Everyone does...at the minute...and what did you mean by you always taking the fall...?_

"He made a fool of us all...really Ben, your father...I expected more from former Kylo Ren. Afraid of your dad, like a naughty little kid," says Finn and Ben can hear him shake his head. "I expected way more..."

 _ **KR: The defected soldier is lecturing us...I feel so ashamed...it's all your fault!**_

 _I feel the tiniest a bit guilty for making him panic so much...but at the same time it was nice to get him on my side again...though only temporary...and it was also a good revenge for trying to steal Rey from me...and you still haven't answered my question..._

 _ **KR: You know by like acting like a fool, you might have lost Rey to him.**_

 _What no! I will explain to her...I have a good reason for what I did! And can't Finn just have Poe instead...? And what about my question...?_

"What about you? You kept snickering a lot...you knew, didn't you?" snaps his father, that can only be directed to Poe and Ben can hear how Poe gulps audible, which gives Ben a little revenge for his treatment.

"Yes...I knew...I'm sorry sir...and Ben, I'm sorry too..." says Poe shamefully, as if it was indeed only a prank gone way too far.

 _He said sorry to me?!_

BB-8 chirps something that sound as sorry as well.

 _ **KR: Hmm...maybe he isn't such a jerk after all...even though he's in the resistance...at least general Hux would never say sorry to me...**_

 _Or you to him...and my question...?_

 _ **KR: Maybe after I killed him...grandpa style...except grandfather never said sorry, just accepted apologizes after having killed the wrongdoer...but I would put my own spin on it...**_

 _You are not going to answer my question about you taking the blame...are you?_

 _ **KR: Nope.**_

 _Jerk..._

"And you thought it was funny...I haven't seen him since he was ten years old!" growls his father at Poe for that unfunny joke on his expense and even though, Ben gets the slightest enjoyment of hearing him scolding annoying Poe, he can't let this go, so he turns away from the corner and snaps at his father: "And whose fault is that?!"

 _ **KR: I thought you were in enough trouble already...**_

A silence follows Ben's world, all his of gang plus Chewie, stare speechless at his audacity of daring to leave the corner, while his own father seems to age about years, because of his question.

"My fault. Now, turn back to the corner," his father at last says sternly and Ben obeys even though he's far from satisfied with that answer.

 _His fault...I need more that that. Why did you abandon me...?!_

"I'm really sorry, sir..." says Poe in a contrite voice.

"As long as you are sorry..." says his father.

 _Haha! Poe got so scolded by his hero! In his face!_

 _ **KR: He said he was sorry...and you know, I know someone who is going to get a way, way, way bigger and worse scolding when he leaves the corner...**_

 _Oh, o..._

"But, to be frank I didn't think it was right of me to interfere in family matters. Ben had to have a very good reason for why he was lying, hiding and trying to run away from you, sir...not to mention tried to kill you..." says Poe and Ben can just see him smirk, even though he has his back turned.

"Shut up Poe, don't remind him!" shouts Ben at him and turns around without thinking, as shouting at Poe to shut up, has become a daily habit of his, but when he meets his father's furious gaze, he turns straight back to the corner.

 _ **KR: You could just tell your father it was all a survival game, I'm sure he would appreciate that...**_

 _No, he wouldn't..._

"Ben, come here!" barks his father at him, as he knows he can't keep Ben in that corner for too long.

"No, I'm fine here..." says Ben as if he thinking about camping out forever in the corner.

 _ **KR: Seriously...don't make him madder than he already is...**_

"Now!" shouts his father at him and Ben can hear him move behind him, as if he going to remove him physically from the corner.

"Aren't you still mad at me...?" asks Ben in a much smaller voice than he intended and he can hear his father stop behind him.

 _That was his logic behind sending me in a corner in the first place..._

 _ **KR: He said he was upset, not mad...**_

 _Not mad? He threw the mask in a violent fit befitting of a Dark Jedi!_

His father gives a long suffering sigh and says in much milder voice: "Of course I am...but not at you...but at what you did. Now, come, son," he adds the last part so softly, that Ben can't do anything except leave the corner and face his father in round two.

* * *

His father stares him down the minute he steps out of the corner, unnerving him like he hadn't felt since in the ever-imposing presence of Snoke.

But this is different, this is personal and Ben is beyond annoyed to see that his gang plus Chewie are still in the room, watching everything that happens between him and his father.

 _Don't my "friends" and Chewie have anything better to do than to watch me get scolded? Can't they go play chess or feed the monsters that my father and Chewie is apparently transporting or watch the navigation system...or take a nap? Why are they even still here..?_

 _ **KR: They want to watch...they got scolded because of you...they need their revenge...**_

 _When you put it like that...I can't really I blame them as I would do the same..._

 _ **KR: And Rey wants to scold you too...and Poe probably wants to record this so he can laugh about it later or worse, show former Kylo Ren getting scolded to the resistance...**_

 _Poe is a jerk as usual...but Rey will get her turn..._

 _ **KR: And she wants hit you...so hard with her staff that you will see stars.**_

 _We are in space, of course I will see stars..._

 _ **KR. You know what I mean...**_

"Son...what do you have to say for yourself?" rebukes his father him and places a great emphasis on the word son, as pretending not to be his son, is one of the reason he's in great trouble. One of many...

 _Is he talking about turning to the darkside and joining the First Order? Or just what I did to him now?_

 _ **KR: If he was talking about all the darkside stuff, you would never leave the corner...**_

"I'm...sorry...?" says Ben to do some damage control and his father just shakes his head with a deep frown as he's not buying that sorry for a minute.

"You have grown...you're not a little kid anymore," says his father after another unnerving inspection.

"Yes," replies Ben.

 _What did he expect after so many years?_

 _ **KR: You have grown...but not matured...**_

 _He looks so old all of sudden...he didn't have gray hair last time I saw him..._

 _ **KR: Each and every gray hair is your fault...**_

 _We don't know that...a lot can happen in twenty years..._

"Well, you are my kid. That hasn't changed...and never will." Han gives him a stern look.

 _Not sure, what he means by that...is that a threat? Does he plan on keep treating me like one...? Like mom...? Like Lor San Tekka...? Like Poe...okay more like everyone..._

 _ **KR If he will..I suggest you scream...**_

 _Why?_

 _ **KR: I just want to see you get into more trouble...**_

 _You're so evil...one minute you are giving my advice and the next you want to see me fail..._

 _ **KR: Let me get one thing straight, I will always contradict everything you say and do, as it is my job to confuse you and destroy your self esteem so I can take over again...Oh, no I shouldn't have said that!**_

 _No, you shouldn't have..._

 _ **KR: Pretend, you didn't hear that...**_

 _Okay, fine..I will...pretend I didn't hear that..._

 _ **KR: Thanks, much appreciated...I don't want to be fired...**_

 _You make no sense as usual...but, if I understood you correctly...if I would suddenly turn into a model son...you would still lecture me for it...?_

 _ **KR: I might...remember, I'm not your friend...**_

 _I know that...it still hurts to hear you admit it._

 _ **KR: But, as your frenemy...**_

 _So you are my friend...?_

 _ **KR: Enemy...and a friend...if you would've just come forward right away, your dad might have been proud of you for turning to the light on your own...**_

 _Oh...I didn't think of that..._

 _ **KR: You never think...but, now he is so angry with you for lying to him and trying to run away...**_

 _I can still fix this...and don't we agree on Darth Vader?_

 _ **KR: Of course, Darth Vader was cool...you still agree with that...?**_

 _Absolutely..._

 _ **KR: Good, then you have some brain left...**_

* * *

"Now, I ask you again. What do you have to say for yourself?" asks his father him.

 _Didn't he ask me that already...? Are we going back in time? Deja vu?_

 _ **KR: No, you just didn't give him a satisfying answer...**_

"I'm...back...?" Ben gives him an awkward smile.

 _ **KR: Is this a sit-com?**_

However, those two simple words seem to crumble something inside his father, whose knees buckle under him as fall onto the floor with a shocked look.

 _Woah...what just happened to him...?_

 _ **KR: You really have to ask...?**_

"Are you alright, mister Solo?" asks Poe and helps him sit up on container, while all the gang plus Chewie and Ben look worried.

"Back...he's back...I nearly lost my son again...I can't believe it...he was right before my eyes...this whole time..." mumbles his father like a deranged man and rubs his face, as if he's trying to wake up from a dream. "I got my kid back...finally I got my kid...back..."

 _Kid...? I'm not a kid!_

 _ **KR: Could've fooled me...**_

 _But what's going on with dad...I've never seen him like this..._

 _ **KR: Congratulations, you broke him. You got your petty revenge...**_

 _I didn't mean for it go this far...I...how can I fix this...? Wait...why am I asking you?!_

 _ **KR: Just shout daddy, hug him and asks for his forgiveness. You know you want to...**_

 _I can't...not in front of them...I mean! No, I don't want that...I'm still mad at him for leaving me! He has some serious explaining to do!_

 _ **KR: And you as well...**_

"Ben! How could you treat your poor father like this?!" shouts Rey at him and points at his still shocked father. "You know better!"

All of his gang plus Chewie nod in agreement with her and she takes a threatening step towards Ben, but his father, who has recovered somewhat, stops murderous Rey by stepping in front of her and putting a hand in between her and his son.

"Let me take care of him," he pleads.

"But...?" she asks puzzled, as if the only way to teach him a lesson in not to abandon family, is to beat him over his stubborn head, repeatedly with her stick.

"He's my son," says his father with finality.

Rey nods in understanding and gives Ben a look. " _Obey your father or else..."_

 _ **KR: You better do as she says...if you want to life...**_

"Let me see your hand." His father waves him to come to him.  
"Hand...?" asks Ben and all of the gang plus Chewie look puzzled over that question.

Ben looks at one of his bare hands.

 _Come to think of it...where did my gloves go?_

 _ **KR: You must have lost them on your way here, just like when you were a kid...**_

 _Well...a lot has happened...I must have left them behind in the old coot's shuttle that got blown up..._

"The one...she bit." His father points at Rey behind him, who stiffens in outrage.

"I only did that, because he tried to kill you!" shouts Rey defensibly and rest of the gang and Chewie, agree with her reasoning.

"That's none of your business. It's between me...and my son." His father gives him a hard look, that would make the most hardened Sith shake in their boots.

 _ **KR: I know that look...he's going to spank you for it...**_

 _No, he is not...shut up Kylo...!_

"Come, here Ben. We don't have all day," commands his father and points a spot in front of him.

"This is nothing...really," says Ben, who is not too keen on going near his father when he's still far too angry with him.

"NOW, BEN!"

Ben jumps over to him, as he as has never been able to disobey that tone and his father takes his wrist in his hand.

"Why do you always have to get bitten by wild animals?" His father tsks, while looking at the small, white mark on his palm and shakes his head sternly.

"She's not a wild animal...just a scavenger..." says Ben and looks at Rey and when he notices on her frown that she is far from happy with him or that description, he adds: "A beautiful scavenger."

Rey lifts her eyebrows in a surprise.

 _ **KR: You can do better than that...don't just comment her looks...**_

"A beautiful, clever and powerful scavenger," says Ben while looking straight at her and Rey's eyes widen in shock.

 _ **KR: A bit over the top...**_

Rey turns to the others for answers, Finn look defeated as he sees he can never beat that, Poe chuckles and BB-8 chirps in surprise.

" _He's a player just like his dad,"_ growls Chewie and grins teasingly and Rey just shakes her head puzzled.

"Chewie," says his father, who asks for something with his hand and is not paying the slightest attention to Ben's wishful love life, only the wound on his hand and Chewie digs into his pouch and hands him a small bottle and a cotton.

"It will burn a little first," says his father warningly as he puts Ben's hand under his arm and pours the liquid into a cotton, before cleaning the wound.

"Ow, ow, ow..." ows Ben as the burning pain of the disinfection starts.

 _ **KR: This can't seriously hurt...**_

 _Well, I'm not used to disinfect my wounds...I just keep them the way they are and hope for the best..._

"How dare you lie to me, repeatedly and to make matters worse, tried to run...away...?" growls his father at him as he cleans his wound carefully.

 _ **KR: He looks hurt. You should be ashamed of yourself...**_

 _You are telling me...?_

"Umm...I panicked...?" replies Ben and tries to get away from him, but as he holds his hand in a deadlock, he can't go anywhere.

"That my son...was really naughty..." His father frowns at him as he hands the used cotton to Chewie, who growls in agreement and throws it into a waste basket in the other side of the room.

 _Naughty?!...No, it was self defence...!_

 _ **KR: It was naughty.**_

"Sorry..." Ben dips his head and Rey and the rest of his gang plus Chewie shake their head sternly.

Chewie then hands his father a band-aid from the pouch and his father puts it over Ben's wound with a surgical precision.

"There good as new." His father claps lightly on the band-aid and lets go of his hand, which Ben lifts up into the light to see his father's work.

He sees a colorful kiddies band aid with a picture of Ewoks playing drums around Threepio who sits in a high seat.

"Umm...thanks...?" Ben smiles awkwardly and his father and Chewie nod seriously as if they had just performed a life-saving surgery on him.

 _ **KR: He just bandaged your wound...after you tried to kill him and lied to him. Don't you have any shame?**_

 _Why are you lecturing me...? Oh, right, you will always say the opposite...but, I thought you, at least wanted me to kill..._

 _ **KR: Yes...but not right now. You have a very bad kill timing...**_

 _What's that supposed to mean?_

 _ **KR: You will see...**_

 _No, because it won't happen._

 _ **KR: It will. You just don't know it yet...**_

 _You are bluffing._

 _ **KR: Maybe...**_

 _It won't happen..._

 _ **KR: Oh, it will...**_

 _It won't, now shut up!_

 _ **KR: Shutting up..for now...**_

* * *

 _Next up: The lollipop and the lecture of doom...?_


	11. The lollipop and the lecture of doom

Chapter eleven - The lollipop and the lecture of doom

"You did good, kid," says his father, who pats his shoulder encouragingly and his soft words and accompanying touch, draw Ben rudely from his morbid thoughts.

 _What...?_

" _You were so brave little Ben..."_ growls Chewie and ruffles his hair, like he did to him when he was a child, putting static electricity into it, before diving into his pouch to look for something to give him. " _You need a reward..."_

 _They...they are joking...right? And aren't they still mad with me...? Why are they acting like I just fell out of tree, scratched my knee or something? Do they have short term memory? Hello, what about everything I did to the galaxy? And to them...?_

 _ **KR: Haha, brave...if they only knew about the torture you had to endure for the darkside...this was nothing...and well...I've no idea why they are acting like everything is back to normal...that's really weird...**_

 _Well, I'm never telling them about the torture...they might freak out...just look how they overreacted over that small scratch...and really aren't they mad at me any more? What happened? This can't be it...right?_

 _ **KR: This could be psychological warfare...they might be testing you...waiting for you to confess your crimes...**_

 _I doubt that's the reason..._

To object somewhat to the childish treatment, Ben pulls up his hood so Chewie or no one else can pat him ever again or at least not today, but to Ben's annoyance, his father pulls down the hood, frowns at him and scolds him: "No more hiding from us."

 _Okay, he's still mad at me...it would be weird if he had forgiven me already..._

 _ **KR: You haven't even said you're sorry...**_

 _I've have._

 _ **KR: It wasn't a real sorry...**_

 _Maybe..._

Ben is very tempted to pull the hood back up, just to show his father, he can't control everything, but as he has no longing to get into stupid tug and a war over it, as it could rip it, he allows his father to win this battle.

"Chewie, has a surprise for you," his father accepts something from Chewie's seemly bottomless pouch and he hands it over to Ben, whose eyes go wide in horror, when he sees that it's a yellow lollipop like you get when you go to the dentist.

* * *

"No way! Just how old do you think I am?!" Ben backs away in disgust and everyone in his gang looks speechless over his father's actions.

 _ **KR: He gave you candy...? Is he now rewarding you for your bad behavior...? And Chewie, I expected more sense from him...! At least your mom would not like this...**_

 _This feels like a punishment..._

 _ **KR: Lollipop is never a punishment...not even for darkside users...**_

 _I hate lollipops...there is nothing, but sugar in them..._

 _ **KR: I didn't know you were a health freak...**_

 _I'm not a health freak! I haven't' even slept in ages, eaten anything or drunk...if anything I am the opposite of one...but I hate, really hate lollipops..._

"Just take it, Ben," commands his father, who has had enough of his stubbornness, puts it forcibly his hands and takes the plaster of it. "Eat it."

Ben grumbles, sticks it into his mouth with a frown and crosses his arms.

"And lose that attitude, mister...this minute," barks his father at him and as Ben has no longing to get back to the corner, he apologizes to him by bowing his head: "Sorry, sir...and thanks Chewie..." He fakes a smile and Chewie smiles back.

"Where is your helmet?" asks his father out of the blue, while looking around the room and Ben nearly chokes on the lollipop.

* * *

"My helmet...?" Ben coughs and takes out the lollipop of doom.

 _ **KR: What's he going to do with it?!**_

 _Well, he's not getting it...I can still use it...and he can't know I was hiding it from him earlier...he will be so mad at me...for all the lies..._

His father stares at him, as if he's trying to see through him and Ben quickly puts the lollipop back into his mouth, as if that would milds his unforgiving stare somewhat.

"I don't know...I lost it somewhere..." Ben looks innocently to his side, but meets Rey's furious gaze, who knows he's lying and turns back to his father instead.

"You better not be lying to me," barks his father at him and Ben lifts both of his palms up in a surrendering gesture and replies: "I'm not...I swear..."

"Stop lying!" Rey uses the force easily to make the helmet fly from his pouch to her and everyone gawks at her raw display of power, even BB-8, who chirps amazed.

But no one is as stunned as Rey herself, who looks shocked at the helmet in her grasp and looks to Ben for help. "Wha...what just happened?"

"You used the force..." replies Ben, who never in million years expected to say these words while sucking on a lollipop, as it isn't cool to do it that way.

"No I didn't, I just looked intently at your pouch and wanted to get the helmet from it..." says Rey, who still looks surprised over what she had done and everyone else stare at her in wonder.  
"That...was using the force..." replies Ben tiredly over having to explain the same thing over and over again.

"Oh...cool...I guess...It's easier than I thought...to be honest..." Rey shrugs and hands the helmet over to his father, who stares between the helmet and his son and does not look happy.

But, Ben is too busy thinking about Rey's power to worry about that now.

 _ **KR: She must be using cheat mode or something...**_

 _No, she must be the chosen one...there can't be any other explanation..._

 _ **KR: Next thing you know, she will defeat you in a lightsaber duel...**_

 _That's not going to happen...not without training at least..._

 _ **KR: A newborn could defeat you in a fight...**_

 _Hey! That was uncalled for!_

 _ **KR: Just telling the truth...**_

 _Uncle Luke won't even have to teach her a thing. She will teach him, if anything..._

* * *

"But, didn't it take you like twenty years to learn this stuff?" Rey says a bit snidely which makes Poe, Finn and BB-8 chuckle, but his father looks guilty for some reason and Chewie looks sorry for Ben's humiliation.

 _ **KR: Ouch...she certainly burned you there...**_

"Don't underestimate the power of the lollipop...I mean the force," rebukes Ben her and wishes he could use the said force to make the kriffing lollipop in his mouth disappear, as she or anyone can hardly take him seriously this way and it's distracting him.

 _ **KR: No one took you seriously before either...**_

"I'm terrible sorry...hang on! Why am I saying sorry?! You should be the one saying sorry...you should be ashamed of yourself for continue lying to your dad!" Rey glares at him and wiggles a finger in his direction. "You, naughty, naughty boy." She frowns at him with her hands on her hips.

Ben blushes and enjoys her scolding way too much and desperately wishes, they were somewhere alone together, instead stuck in his father's ships, with his father, two guys he hope will just end up together so Finn will stop pestering his Rey, plus a wookie and a droid watching everything...and some monsters...

"Oh...he's in trouble alright. So...you were hiding it from me..." says his father seething and interrupts Ben's dirty thoughts about Rey before it even begins and jolts him hard to the harsh reality again.

 _Gleep..._

"Sorry...sir..." Ben sucks innocently on the lollipop and evades his father's furious gaze.

 _ **KR: Don't throw it into the wall! It will get a scratch!**_

"Chewie, get rid of it," says father and his command shocks Ben to the core.

 _ **KR: Noooo!**_

Ben takes the lollipop out of his mouth to shout and reach after it. "No! I need it!"

"Why do you need it...? Doesn't matter, you are never getting it back." His father lifts the helmet away from him, but Ben still tries to get it from him.

"No, I need it! I need it!" Ben flaps his arms like a man possessed after his helmet.

"Stop this tantrum!" scolds his father him and Chewie, Poe and Finn look ready to hold Ben down if need to and Rey and BB-8 looks worried over his desperate behavior.

All of a sudden the lollipop goes flying in all that struggle, but before it dramatically hits the ground, Rey captures it in mid air with her force reflexes and hands it over to Ben.

"Here."

"No...you can keep it..." says Ben flustered and Rey looks surprised by that gesture.

"Sure?" She looks between the lollipop and Ben and when he nods, she puts it in her mouth and smiles. "Thanks."

 _An indirect kiss!_

 _ **KR: Bet, you want that lollipop back now...**_

Finn, Poe and BB-8 can't believe what she did and stare at her in great disbelief while Chewie grins and chuckles.

"What...I never waste food." Rey shrugs. "I'm still mad at you." She frowns at Ben, so he won't get any funny ideas and yet he can't take the eyes of how she sucks on the lollipop and imagines that they are kissing instead.

"Do you all want one? You must be hungry," asks his father, who doesn't seem to notice the strange mood at all and Chewie digs into his pouch and fishes up two lollipops and gives one to Poe and one to Ben.

"I don't need a another one!" shouts Ben as if Chewie had just put a needle in him.

"You will take it and like it, you need sugar in your system. Bet you haven't eaten anything in awhile," says his father sternly, puts the dreaded lollipop into his hand and Poe, always so helpful says: "He's right. You nearly passed out a couple of times, probably hasn't slept either..."

"Poe!" snaps Ben at Poe and his father looks at him and frowns in worry along with Chewie and Rey.

 _Don't tell him! He will force me to take a nap!_

"That's not good..." Before Ben knows it, his father has put his hand on his forehead. "You're a bit warm," he remarks and Ben jumps away from his touch as if it burned him.

"Of course I'm warm! My face was under a gas mask for a very long time!" he snaps at him, startling his whole gang and enraging his father with his tone.

 _Stop treating me like a child!_

His father, who has had enough of his attitude, pulls his ear and says sternly: "Do you want to go back to the corner?" He points at the corner Ben did not too long ago vacate.

 _Not my ear again! And not the kriffing corner!_

"No...sir..." Ben grimaces in pain.

 _Of course not! And please let go of my ear!_

"Then don't use that tone on me," his father frowns at him before letting go of him.

"Sorry...sir.." Ben rubs his sore ear while Rey and Chewie frown sternly at him, Poe of course seems to enjoys this along with BB-8 and even Finn has started to see the entertainment in former Kylo Ren getting scolded by his father, as he smirks.

 _Traitor..._

Chewie growls pitifully as he tries to search for something in his pouch and came up empty.

"Oh, sorry, We don't seem to have enough," apologizes his father to his gang, though mostly to Finn as he's left behind.

 _ **KR: What is this a children's birthday party?**_

 _If it is...it sucks._

* * *

"It's okay, we can share. You can start," says Poe to Finn and Finn shrugs a bit disappointed and it about to take it, when Ben gives him his instead and says: "No, you can just have mine..."

"I told you to eat it!" snaps his father at him, angry that he can't even obey him in simplest tasks.

"I'm not hungry." Ben shrugs and his father pokes him sternly in the chest and growls:"Isn't that another one of your...lies...?"

Rey and Chewie give him a stern look as well, while Finn and Poe eat their lollipops in peace and BB-8 looks bored.

 _What' up with his obsession with giving me a lollipop?_

 _ **KR: I think he's just trying to be nice...in his own...strange way...**_

 _I loved them as a child...I hate them today...they remind me too much of my...lost childhood..._

 _ **KR: Ah...now I understand the hatred of them...I didn't know you were this deep...**_

 _Shut up, Kylo...I don't want to deal with you on top of everything..._

 _ **KR: Well, I'm not going anywhere...**_

 _That is what I was afraid of..._

"I don't need one...why are you even carrying lollipops? Were you expecting to meet children...?" asks Ben and hopes that will end his father pitiful attempts once and for all, to give him candy twenty years too late.

 _ **KR: That came out wrong...well, he met you...**_

 _Shut up! I'm not a child!_

 _ **KR: What...you are his child...?**_

 _Damn, you're right...sorry for shouting at you..._

 _ **KR: Eh...um...okay...apology accepted...?**_

 _And that's the only apology you are ever going to get from me..._

 _ **KR: Hey, you don't know that...**_

"No and you shouldn't give children too much candy...the umm...monster that we are transporting happens to like them...beside human meat," his father's clears his throat with a guilty look and Finn squeaks in horror and moves closer to Poe to protection and BB-8 does the same.

 _Only my dad could find monsters like that, that like strange things...on top of human meat...so typical dad..._

"What monster is that?" asks Poe curiously.

"Is there a lollipop monster?" asks Rey intrigued and is probably imagining something from a children's book or a play.

Chewie growls something carelessly.

"Is it a Rancar? No, I don't think they eat lollipops," says Rey, deep in thought.

"Trust me, you don't want to know..." replies his father, who suddenly sees and remembers, he's still holding the helmet of his son dark past, in his hands or thinks it's the perfect distraction from the topic about man eating monsters...but not darkside ones.

He stares fuming between the darkside helmet and his son, as if he just remembering everything bad his son had done these past years and why he was mad at him in the first place.

 _Oh...no_

 _ **KR: You should've been thankful for the candy...and leave it at that...**_

"You are never, ever using this mask ever again. Get rid of it for me." His father hands it over to Chewie this time with success, as Ben doesn't try to get it again and Chewie gives him a salute before heading off with it. " _Yes, sir."_

"But...we can still use it...in emergencies...I mean..." says Ben pleadingly, who hopes Chewie is not planning on throwing it out with the trash and just hiding it in some storage, so Ben can try to find it later.

"No!" His father turns sharply to him with an uncompromising gaze and pokes him hard in the chest after each word. "You will stop this pretend game at once! Do you hear me?!"

 _ **KR: Pretend game?!**_

 _And now...the lecture of all lectures begins..._

* * *

"I said...do you understand me?" asks his father sternly and crosses his arms.

"Yes sir..." replies Ben defeated...for now.

"And you will call me father," says his father in his no nonsense voice and waves a finger at him.

"Yes...father..." Ben had a bit of trouble saying that word after so many years.

 _ **KR: He's going to confiscate your saber next...**_

His father notices how Ben tries in vain to shield his saber and he sighs. "You can keep your saber...for now, as long as you don't harm anyone or...anything with it."

 _ **KR: What does he think the saber is...a decoration?!**_

"Yes..." replies Ben and sighs relieved, that he's allowed to keep something from his past.

 _ **KR: You think so too?!**_

 _No, you idiot...I'm just playing the part...of an obedient son..._

 _ **KR: Oh...hope you are good actor then...**_

"What did I say?" His father frowns at him.

 _ **KR: Apparently not...**_

 _I'm done acting..._

"Yes...father..." replies Ben as sincerely as he can.

"So you have really defected from the First Order?" asks his father.

"Yes...father"

"And you have...finally...come back to light-side?"

"Yes...father..."

"Even though you tried to kill me...us?" Han's gaze grows even sterner.

Chewie who has returned from doing something awful to his helmet, growls. " _That wasn't nice little Ben!"_

"It was a...eh...mistake. Sorry...father..." replies Ben and blushes over being reminded of his stupidity.

"Why?" asks his father.

"Why...did I try to kill you...?"

 _Please don't let me answer that...!_

Han's glare intensifies, something Ben didn't think was even possible."Why come back now?"

"I want to come home...I'm on my way to mom...she knows I'm coming...we have the map to uncle Luke and are on our way to the resistance."

 _Not you! So can you just drop it! I don't need your help...It's too late...and I already told you all this stuff!_

 _ **KR: Yeah, as Ken Rolo, not as Ben Solo...**_

His father half-smiles and seems to be very pleased with that answer. "That's good kid. That's really good..." He circles around him till he stands in front of him once more.

 _Maybe he will let me off the hook with that? Perhaps he will send me and the others off in a escape pod to the nearest planet, to find another ship. That would be for the best..._

 _ **KR: Haha, in your dreams.**_

His father taps his foot with a folded arms and glowers at Ben, whole suddenly feels so physically small in his presence, like a little kid again.

 _Oh...no now comes the lecture of a lifetime!_ Ben braces himself by shutting his eyes, in the vain attempt that would lower the volume of the yelling he was about to be subjected to, rightfully so, though he thinks Kylo Ren deserves it more. But he had hidden himself deep inside his subconsciousness, far from the wrath of Han Solo.

 _That cowardly traitor..._

* * *

"You know how much pain you've caused your mother...no us...not to mention your poor uncle!"

Since it was a rhetorical question, Ben decides he's didn't have to answer it. Despite that fact Han Solo is still looking for an answer.

"Well, do you?"

"No..I mean yes, sir..."

 _I don't want to be reminded of that...can't we just begin anew...? Pretend my fall never happened?_

 _ **KR: If you hadn't played that stupid survival game, he might have...**_

"Look at me, when I'm speaking to you."

Ben forces himself to open his eyes, meeting his father furious gaze. He doesn't understand why he can't just face him head on. It is ridiculous, he is a grown man, a former dark lord. And yet his father scolding make him feel ten all over again. It was oddly reminiscent of the time he tried to steal the Millennium falcon to make sure his father would never leave him or his mother again. That his father was angry at that time when he caught him in the act, was an understatement.

 _Oh, no! I'm not going to think about what he did to me then...!_

"I see that actions speak louder than words with you, son." His father walks dangerously over to him, but Ben backs away in fright.

"What are you planning on doing?" He looks desperately at Rey, Finn, Poe, BB-8 and Chewie, who are all witnesses to his scolding.

Poe snickers with a happy grin on his face despite his apology from earlier, Fin looks a bit dumbstruck over witnessing former Kylo Ren get a harsh scolding from his father, Rey looks a tiny bit sympathetic, but mostly angry along with Chewie, though Chewie also gives him a very stern look and BB-8 chirps something evilly.

 _Why do I always have audience for everything I do now? I don't even like crowds...in fact I hate them!_

"You know what. You've had it coming in a long time," says his father in stern voice as he keeps lessen the distance between them.

 _ **KR: True..**_

Ben backs away as he whips his head between his father and the audience. "What here..now...I mean you can't!"

 _I'm an adult!_

 _ **KR: Not true...**_

"And why is that? You think you don't deserve it for your past behavior?" His father asks mockingly as they both know that is not true and all the others shake their head sternly.

"At least not in front of them..." Ben says pleadingly, hoping for some appeal and his father turns to the others, who shrugs and he turns back to him and says matter-of-factly:"I don't think they mind."

"Well, I will!" shouts Ben, furious that no one seems to care what he wants anymore, as his father at last closes the gap between them.

"Stop whining." His father wraps his arms tightly around him and pulls him close and a warmth spreads into Ben's chest, he hasn't felt in years.

 _ **KR: Did he just...?!**_

 _Hug me...?!_

* * *

 _Next up: Father's embrace..._


	12. Father's embrace and the voice of

_AN: Thank you all so much for the reviews, favorites and follows! You guys rock!_

 _I had to divide the chapter again...but the next chapter shouldn't be too far behind..._

 _This chapter is dedicated to Flowergirl! Thank you so much for your reviews, they really light my day and encourage me to keep going and update faster. :)_

 _Glad to hear you're still enjoying this silly, crazy, but cute and angsty fic. It's only going to get crazier from here on out, but also cuter and also a bit darker...(thanks to Kylo Ren...he hasn't given up yet!)_

 _Han and Leia are separated, but will of course still meet! Family reunion...;)_

* * *

Chapter twelve - Father's embrace and the voice of darkness

 _Father hugged me...dad hugged me...daddy...finally hugged me..._

It takes a while for Ben to come back to reality and he looks speechless at the big, surprisingly soft arms wrapped tightly around him, who hold him close to his father's warm and beating chest.

Ben isn't the only one who is shocked over this development, his whole gang is. Rey gasps and covers her mouth as if she's about to cry out of joy and it's probably reliving her own imaginary family reunion, Poe just grins as if this was his plan all along, Finn is stunned, but after seeing Poe's reaction he smiles, BB-8 chirps something loudly and Chewie, who has a small tear in his eyes, wipes it away with a handkerchief and sniffles.

"A hug...?" Ben asks his father bewildered, when at last he can speak again.

 _ **KR: He took care of your wound, gave you candy and now he hugs you...not to mention, that scolding and corner time was something you richly deserved for acting like an idiot...seriously what were you so scared of...?**_

 _My feelings..._

 _ **KR: True...feelings are scary...**_

"What did you think I was going to do? Attack you? You know, I would never harm you in any way, kid," replies his father and his voice sound as soft as the hug. "My precious son."

 _He's way too trusting of me...doesn't he realize how dangerous I can be..? I even tried to kill him...why does he trust me? Why did he hug me in the first place?_

 _ **KR: Beats me...maybe because he's your father...you idiot...that's how they are supposed to work...according to their job description...**_

 _Being a father...is not a job._

 _ **KR: Then what is it...?**_

 _I don't know...family?_

 _ **KR: And what is family...beside a weakness...?**_

 _So...according to you, if something isn't a "job" then it's a weakness?_

 _ **KR: Pretty much...**_

 _That's just something Snoke lied about...I don't answer to him any longer._

 _ **KR: And look where it got you...**_

 _I...think...I like it here..._

 _ **KR: I will never understand your taste in things...**_

 _Same, I will never understand yours..._

 _ **KR: Except Darth Vader.**_

 _Except him..._

 _ **KR: And our saber.**_

 _Okay and that..._

 _ **KR: And our cool dark clothes and helmet.**_

 _Fine...we do have something in common..._

 _ **KR: Otherwise I would've left already.**_

 _You can leave?!_

 _ **KR: Of course..but as long as you need me. I'm not going anywhere...**_

 _I don't need you! Now go away!_

 _ **KR: You need to do way more than that...**_

* * *

"Why did you want to hug me?" Ben looks puzzled at his father, who smirks.

"Do I need a reason to hug my son...but if you must know, I'm glad...no happy...to have you back. You remember how to hug, right?" asks his father and looks suddenly worried.

 _They weren't exactly lot of hugs..or well any in the First Order...and uncle only hugged me when I was really, really homesick or rather after he punished me for breaking his things...but those were only brief and awkward Jedi hugs...not real hugs..._

Suddenly Ben feels like he's ten again, where he was staring forever at the horizon, waiting for the Falcon to appear, but this time it does and his dad appears from it, picks him up into his warm embrace and brings him home again...

 _ **KR: Just shout daddy and hug him back, you know you want to...**_

 _It's too humiliating to do it in public...I mean! No, I don't want that! I told you I'm still angry with him for not picking me up!_

 _ **KR: From your uncle...or the First Order?**_

 _Both..._

* * *

Ben pushes him away with the force, shocking his father, his gang and Chewie when he knocks his father into them and they all go down like bowling pins.

 _ **KR: Did you just use...forcepush...? Isn't that a bit excessive?**_

 _What's the point of having the force, if you can't use it?!_

 _ **KR: I doubt the others see it that way...especially your father...**_

"No! I don't want to...and not in front of them..." Ben frowns and crosses his arms stubbornly, as his father, Chewie and his gang scramble to their feet and look murderous at him.

 _Poe will laugh at me, Rey will be jealous...Finn...BB-8...Chewie something and well I don't want to!_

 _ **KR: Sigh...why must you always be so difficult...?**_

 _Do you want me to hug him...?_

 _ **KR: No...but he's not giving you much of choice and sometimes, you just have to do, what you have to do...to survive...this is only temporary anyway...**_

 _Temporary?_

His father walks threateningly to him and roll up one of his sleeves. "Look son, either you hug me back or... "

"Or what?" asks Ben in a challenging and a cheeky voice, as he had just shown what he's capable of with the force, but his father, who has had enough of his attitude and isn't in the least frighten by his display of awesome powers, pulls his ear and drags him to stand in front of his gang and Chewie, which shocks Ben out of his power trip and makes him feel like a little helpless kid, instead of a powerful force user.

 _O, no! Not the corner again!_

However, his father lets go of his ear and turns to him with a scowl. "I will put you over my knee, right here in front of your friends..." He points at his furious gang behind him, as if he wouldn't otherwise know who he was talking about and continues merciless with his lecture, while Ben just wants to sink through the floor and disappear into space, as he so embarrassed over being lectured like this in public.

"...which is something you deserve far more for being such a pain in the galaxy these past years!" His father starts to count on his fingers, by lifting one for each of his crimes. "...and for trying to kill me and Chewie...with poisonous gas, throwing me away with the force, your endless bad attitude about everything...and last, but not least, for being naughty by giving me a fake identity, lying to me repeatedly and trying to run away...that was just pure naughtiness, son..." His father shakes his head tiredly after having listed his crimes on two hands, as one wasn't enough for them.

 _ **KR: Woah, that's a long list! You have been so naughty!**_

 _Stop calling me naughty! And please no more stupid, empty and childish threats...I'm not ten anymore!_

 _ **KR: Yet you act like one...or well more like seven...or five...**_

"I wasn't trying to kill you...just scaring you away..." replies Ben in a small voice, more fitting for a small child in big trouble than an adult in one.

 _ **KR: Tell yourself that...if that makes you feel better...**_

Rey's stern expression milds somewhat, Chewie thinks it over, while Poe, Finn and BB-8 seem mildly satisfied with that explanation.

His father lifts an eyebrow. "Scaring my away? Clearly you were worried about some kind of punishment for your past actions...so I wonder which option is more humiliating and more...deserving to do in front of your friends."

"Poe is not my friend...he's a...frenemy..." says Ben and glares at Poe, for being witness to his scolding as he enjoys it way too much, while the other just think it's richly deserved and don't necessarily enjoy it as much.

"Which is it?" presses his father on, though the answer should be obvious to everyone.

 _ **KR: He really wants that hug...**_

"Come on, kid. Stop being so stubborn. I'm not giving up on you," coax his father him, as if he is just a small child stuck up in a tree that refuses to come down. He opens up his welcoming embrace and smiles at him encouragingly. "You can do this, son."

* * *

 _I can...do this...I understand now what this is...this is a test...a rehabilitation...a rehab from the darkside..._

 _ **KR: Rehab?**_

 _Yeah, don't you hate all this sweet stuff? Love, cuddle, family, sugar...?_

 _ **KR: I don't hate it...I just think all of it is weakness...except sugar, I like candy.**_

 _You do...? Well, anyways, this is important for me to move on. To forgive and move on...if he could forgive me, I should be able to forgive him, right?_

 _ **KR: There is nothing to forgive on our side...we did nothing wrong...well at least not I, you did a plenty of things wrong and continue on doing it!**_

 _So this aggravates you? That's good, then I'm doing something right. Too bad, it's so kriffing difficult to take the first step! My feet could just as well been made out of lead!_

"Just hug him already!" yells Poe suddenly and the other chip in and cheer him on, like they are audience in a sports game and surprisingly it helps Ben move forward, bit by bit...to the light.

"Stop, being so stubborn!" yells Finn.

BB-8 chirps something loudly.

 _Stop being so naughty, little Ben!"_ growls Chewie.

"Please Ben..." pleads Rey and as he only needed to hear it from her, he at last hugs his father, who instantly hugs him back, as if otherwise he would fall and inside Ben is cheering like he had just won a marathon.

 _Yeah! I did it! I crossed the line! Finally, I can get rid of the darkside!_

 _ **KR: Congratulations...not...you are such a fool, if you think this is enough...**_

 _Well, at least it's a start! A great start!_

* * *

"I did it...I did it, dad..." mutters Ben in small voice, to let his father know that this had been a big breakthrough for him and his father smiles proudly, as if he had known that.

"Good boy. You're save now," says his father softly.

"Huh...? Save?" asks Ben bewildered. "Save from what?" He looks at his gang as if the answer could be found there.

 _Sure Poe could be an ass, but he wasn't exactly dangerous..._

 _ **KR: What about Rey?**_

 _Nope._

"From the darkside, the First Order..." continues his father and looks tiny bit worried, that he had to remind Ben of the danger he was in.

"Oh..." says Ben and turns back to him. "Right..."

 _Then why didn't you try to save me from it?! I don't understand..._

 _ **KR: You aren't safe from those things yet...this "peace" is only temporary and you know it...**_

 _That's your fault, now leave me alone...so I can enjoy this...in peace._

 _ **KR: You like this...? This...blergh...sweetness..I thought you hated sugar!**_

 _I kind of like this...now leave. You're ruining the moment!_

 _ **KR: Cuteness and sweetness only exist so you can destroy it...there wouldn't be any fun otherwise...**_

 _I'm not listening to you!_

"I have you now." His father kisses him on top of his head and hugs him tighter before Ben can escape that upgraded cuddling.

"Don't kiss me in front of Rey!" shouts Ben in desperation.

 _ **KR: That is your only complaint?!**_

 _...the headache got a little better..._

"Why...not?" asks his father surprised and looks at Rey, who look as surprised, but smiles and says:"I don't mind."

She looks happy and bit jealous, not over the kiss, but over the family reunion, while Poe laughs at this sight into his hand, Finn looks clueless over what Ben's overreaction meant, Chewie smiles and BB-8 chirps.

"See, she doesn't mind." His father gives him another kiss on his head. "You're mine...forever."

 _Forever...is he afraid Rey will steal me away from him...?!_

 _ **KR: I doubt he has even noticed your way too obvious feelings for her...he only sees you..his returned son, for now...**_

Ben grumbles and yet wants to melt into the hug and be one with it forever, but of course would never admit that out loud.

* * *

After a way too long a hug, only three are left aboard the Falcon, as Chewie left with Poe, Finn and BB-8 to check out the other ship, after having inspected the Falcon. Only Rey remains as an audience or witness to their father-son hugging that is still ongoing.

 _At least everyone has left...except Rey, why is she still here? She needs a hug too, I want to hug her...can't we have a group hug?_

 _ **KR: Your dad doesn't want to share you...**_

 _This is so embarrassing...how long does he wants to do this? We must have broken some galaxy record by now...he has never been a hugger..._

 _ **KR: Maybe he's waiting for you to take the first step...? I mean, without using the force to push him away!**_

 _I wouldn't try that again...I'm not stupid..._

 _ **KR: I beg to differ...**_

"Umm...I'm sorry I tried to kill you...father..." begins Ben and adds. "And Chewie of course, as well."

 _Can you please let go of me?!_

He looks at Rey for her approval, who nods glad, that he at last gave an honest apology.

"I know." His father lets go of him.

 _Finally!_

But, when Ben plans on leaving, his father pulls his ear and pulls him straight back to him.

"More importantly, what about lying to me and trying to run away?!" he growls at him.

 _He thinks that is worse?! And I already said I was sorry!_

 _ **KR: You didn't mean it...**_

"I'm sorry too..for lying to you..and trying to run away..." replies Ben and grimaces in pain over the ear pulling and hates that he's getting lectured in front of Rey, even though she thinks he deserve it, for the way he acted earlier.

 _ **KR: Like an idiot...**_

"About what? What did you lie about?" continues his father without mercy and Rey frowns at him, as if she is scolding him as well just by being there.

 _Please don't make me recount...!_

"For lying about...who I really was..." says Ben.

"And...?" presses his father on and Rey nods her head firmly.

"That I was lost forever...ow, dad it hurts!"

His father at last lets go of his ear. "How could you do that to me?"

Rey frowns at him sternly.

"I'm really, really sorry...I wasn't thinking straight..." Ben pouts while rubbing his ear and Rey looks a tiny bit sympathetic.

 _ **KR: You never do...thinking I straight I mean...**_

 _And whose fault it that?! Leave me alone!_

 _ **KR: Never...you need me...**_

 _Do not!_

His father sighs. "Why did you do it?"

"I was...scared..." replies Ben honestly and his father looks a bit shocked over that revelation.

"Scared of what...?" He looks at Rey, as if she would know the answer, but she looks as lost as he is and shrugs.

"I...don't know..." Ben shrugs, as well.

 _Everything..._

 _ **KR: Chicken...**_

"What's your real name?" asks his father sternly.

"Ben...Solo..." replies Ben hesitantly, as if he isn't sure that is the right answer to that question.

 _ **KR: No, Kylo Ren.**_

"And...? I'm your father and you are my...what...?" his father point between himself and then back at him, as if they are playing a strange game or a in speech therapy, or rather doing more of the darkside therapy.

 _ **KR: You are not my father...**_

 _Shut up! I'm trying to concentrate here!_

 _ **KR: It's not like the answers are that hard...I already told you them...**_

 _Well, they were wrong! You are trying to sabotage me! Stop it!_

"You are my what? Come on, son...you can do this." His father pats his shoulder encouragingly.

 _ **KR: This is a bit pathetic...your father is helping you...that's cheating...can't you do anything on your own anymore...? Well, not without my help...**_

"Ben...?" says Rey worried. "Are you okay?"

"Son?" asks his father and Ben feels as if he's under water and he gasps for air.

"Son...I'm your...son." he answers and pants heavily." Your son, Ben Solo..." he adds for good measure, even though it's still hard for him to utter those true words and his father smiles sadly and pats his shoulder again.

"Correct. Now swear to me, that you will never do this again." He frowns at him sternly.

"I...swear...father..." says Ben and can't believe how hard it was to answer those questions.

 _This is so humiliating!_

 _ **KR: Your fault alone...why didn't you use my answers? They will ends this farce..and you will be free again...**_

 _You mean you, you will be free again...and I would be prisoner of the darkside once more..._

 _ **KR: Bit dramatic, if you ask me...**_

* * *

"Son, if you ever lie to me again, I swear...I will wash your mouth out with a soap!" threaten his father.

 _What! He never did that when I was a kid!_

 _ **KR: He must be upgrading for a...bigger kid...**_

"Son, do you understand me?" his father frowns at him.

 _Did he read some questionable out of date child-rearing books after I was gone... as he screwed up with me...in case he would get a second chance...?_

 _ **KR: To raise you...?**_

"Are you listening to me?" asks his father in an impatient voice.

 _No! I mean if he would get another child, you idiot!_

 _ **KR: Hmm, personally I think I am right.**_

"You better be listening...or I will get a bar of soap right now!" his father barks at him.

 _You always think that...always...wait, what did he say?! That's pure torture! That's brutal!_

 _ **KR: I kind of agree with that...but maybe you should voice your objection aloud instead of just bickering with me...though I think this all just an empty threat to scare you into...future...obedience...**_

 _Well it's working!_

"I recommend using fish oil instead," says Rey helpfully and comes to his "rescue". "Also it's healthier and way better for him."

 _Why are they suddenly conspiring about how to punish me?!_

 _ **KR: Haha, Rey has totally turned against you...**_

 _She hasn't turned against me! She just seem to think she's my mom or sister or something...which is horrible!_

 _ **KR: Haha, that's even funnier!**_

"Hmm, good suggestion. I will do that...do you understand son? No more lying, it is wrong," his father waves a finger at him sternly and Ben blushes over endlessly being treated like a child.

 _But...wrong...? Lying is wrong...but then why was it okay to lie to me?!_

* * *

"That's not fair," says Ben and glares at his father.  
"Fair?" asks his father in disbelieving voice and looks at Rey, like she's suddenly his co-parent. "Can you believe this, kid?"

Rey shakes her head and frowns at Ben sternly. "Ben, it's always wrong to lie!"

"Oh yeah, then what about you and mom lying to me about Darth Vader?" asks Ben in a cold voice to his father.

Rey looks startled while his father's eyebrows draw together in one line.

"Excuse me...?" he growls at him, as he can never hear that name without getting angry.

 _ **KR: Look...there is always a time and place to talk about our cool grandad...except now! Do you want to go back to the corner...?!**_

"You heard me, what about you and mom lying to me for all these years, about him being my grandad...you never told me that he was my grandfather..." says Ben, who doesn't want to give this up and crosses his arms and regards Rey, now his ally as she looks pissed at his father, as well.

"Lying is never okay," she says sternly to his father.

"We did it to protect you nothing else..." says his father honestly and looks between Ben and Rey, as if he has to convince them both of his good intentions.

Rey's expression softens and she looks at Ben pleadingly, who soften his as well.

"Well, it wasn't a nice thing to do...lying I mean," mutters Ben in a hurt voice.

 _Even though you did it to protect me...it had the opposite effect..._

 _ **KR: Not knowing that Darth Vader, the coolest of the coolest of them all! Was my grandfather, sucked. I would have started my collection of his things way earlier, had I known! A lot of it, is lost now!**_

"I'm sorry...if I could turn back time I would...you were never supposed to suffer like this...never..." says his father, who has got his soft voice back and he rubs Ben's cheek gently. "Can you ever forgive me...us?"

 _I did not expect him to fold like that..though mom send my apology letter when the truth came out, six years ago...but it had the opposite effect on me..._

 _ **KR: You kind of turned...because of it...**_

 _It really send me over the edge...but, that was in the past...this is now..._

Ben nods and takes his hand. "Okay...you're forgiven..." He lets go of his hand and regards Rey, who smiles as if everything is alright with the galaxy again.

 _We still have the matter of abandoning me with uncle to discuss...that's way more difficult topic..._

 _ **KR: That can never be resolved.**_

 _You don't know that. I want to least...try!_

His father smiles and ruffles his hair like he is puppy who had done something right. "Thank you, you are a good boy. You just forgot it...for...well years..."

 _ **KR: He's joking, right? A good boy?**_

 _But, this can't be it...who are you and what have you done with my father? You were so furious with me, few minutes ago...one minute you are ready to yell my head off and the next cuddle me to death...are you mad at me or happy...which it?!_

 _ **KR: Probably both...**_

 _Well, it's stressful...never knowing if he's going to yell at me...or cuddle..._

 _ **KR: I think his reaction depends most on you, to be honest...or rather your behavior...**_

 _Behavior...?_

* * *

His father's expression suddenly turns to worry as he rubs and inspects his head. "You have bump...a lot of them...did you hit your head? I thought you wore your helmet...most of the time..."

 _ **KR: Yes...that's the reason we wore a helmet...not to get closer to the darkside or anything like that...far from it...**_

Rey stiffens up over his father's inspection and looks guilty as charged and turns quickly away from them, but Ben isn't angry with her from hitting him, but annoyed over his father's words.

 _Come on, I'm not a kindergartener! I've been through something far worse than bumps on my head. Like having TIE-fighters trying to blow me up..._

 _ **KR: You could tell on Rey...get you out of trouble and her into trouble for hurting you...unlike Poe, your dad will take your side...and yell at her...and send her away...send her back home...**_

"Son...?" asks his father, as he still waiting for an explanation for his head injury, but Ben is too shocked over what Kylo Ren said, to answer him right away.

 _Why in the...! I'm never doing that! She's been through enough and I deserved it anyway..._

 _ **KR: But she wants to go back home...her mission is finished...you're back with your family..or at least your father.**_

"Son...are you okay?" continues his father and now Rey looks worried, as if she's the reason he keeps zoning out like that, because she hit his head so hard.

 _Why do you want to get rid of Rey? She must be some kind of threat to you...!_

 _ **KR: No, no...nothing like that. I'm only thinking of what's best for her...**_

"Is he okay?" asks Rey and tries not let her guilt show, even though she just lectured Ben about how wrong lying is, not minutes ago.

 _You liar...you don't care about her, you hate her! I'm not losing her...I'm not letting her return to that hellish waiting again for her family to show up when they are never going to...I still bear the scars after that torture...that might never even heal fully...even though I got my family back...at last..._

 _ **KR: They will never heal, that's why I'm never leaving you...I'm the only one you can trust to stay...**_

 _I DON'T WANT YOU TO STAY!_

"Ben...?" asks his father and shakes him lightly, as if that would help him return to them and it works.

"Yes...but I'm okay now..." replies Ben, even though it's lie, but it's a lie to help Rey, so it should be okay, at least she exhales relieved, that he didn't tell on her, as his father was mad enough with her biting him. How he would react to hearing about her beating him with her stick, Ben wasn't in any hurry or had any interest in ever finding out.

 _I can always blame Poe, if dad keeps pestering me about it..._

 _ **KR: You're far from okay and never will be, unless you give me control again!**_

 _Please stop...torturing me!_

His father is not buying his lie and he frowns in worry.

"You don't look so good to me. You need something to eat, drink and well, rest. Come, I will show you my new ship." He grabs his wrist, so Ben has no choice, but to follow him as he leads him out of the ship, followed soon by Rey who went into the Falcon to get something.

* * *

As soon as they get out of the Falcon, Ben is greeted with a dangerous and monstrous aura through the force, but when he lies his eyes on Rey, he sees something far more dangerous as she fixes her staff, she got back from the Falcon's cockpit, behind her back.

Ben covers his head unconsciously, with one hand, as his father still hasn't let go of his wrist and doesn't seem to have the slightest intention of doing that, and Rey looks first surprised over that gesture, but then guilty.

"It's my weapon," she says apologetic, as she didn't mean to frighten him by getting it back.

 _ **KR: She was only fixing it.**_

 _I know...but better be on the safe side...she might still be mad at me..._

"What's wrong? A headache?" asks his father who thankfully didn't see any connection to Ben covering his head and Rey fixing her staff.

"Monsters...huge...and a lot of them...Can you feel them too, Rey?" says Ben hurriedly, while still grasping his head dramatically with one hand and Rey nods and looks on guard, around the huge ship, that swallowed the Falcon.

"They are in cages...don't worry...and don't you dare come near them." His father stops him from turning in their direction by pulling him back to him. "Stay close to me at all times...unless I tell you differently." He holds his wrist tightly and pulls him along with him.

Usually, Ben would be annoyed by being dragged along like that, but as he has enough trouble keeping a track of what's happening inside his mind, he doesn't mind getting some help to get from one place to the next.

 _At least he's not holding my hand like a toddler..._

 _ **KR: He probably wants to put you in harness and tether him to himself so you can never wander into danger again...or leave him...**_

 _Never! I would die of shame!_

 _ **KR: It would be funny to see...you would be his prisoner then...you kind of are his prisoner now...why is that any better than being a prisoner of the darkside? That's not humiliating, only cool...**_

 _For you...you mean...not for the galaxy...and what do you mean by I'm his prisoner? I'm not in a cell...I'm not wearing any cuffs...I'm surprisingly free considering everything I've done...he hasn't even grounded me yet...not that he's going to! That would be silly..._

 _ **KR: There exists more prison than one... you will see...**_

"I thought you were going to show me the ship?" asks Ben, to ignore the ramblings of his dark self and Rey nods in agreement.

"Yes...but, not the monsters..." says his father sternly, as if Ben had intended to run straight to them and check them out.

 _Of course I won't get to see the fun part..._

 _ **KR: Lame...**_

* * *

They walk through the spacious ship that reminds Ben, somewhat of a Star Destroyer.

 _ **KR: Except star destroyer are much bigger, much cleaner and much cooler...**_

 _Can't argue with that..._

"Impressive ship," comments Ben to say something, after they haven't said anything for a long while and the only sounds is their footsteps, echoing loud in the great corridors.

His father gives him a strange look.

"What...did I say something wrong?" asks Ben and looks to Rey for help, as if he had forgotten how to socially normally, so small talk wasn't exactly his forte, but she looks as lost as he is, as she's not good at small talk either.

But, before Ben is certain he has gotten a failing grade in small talk, his father lets go of his wrist, just to sling one arm around his shoulder and with his other hand, rubs his knuckles on his head teasingly. "What is far more impressive, is getting you and the Falcon back at the same time, kid!" He beams broadly and Ben looks at him stunned and rubs his head after the intense rubbing.

Rey just smiles happily.

 _He put me first...?_

 _ **KR: Well...duh...he's your father...of course he puts his...ugh...kid first.**_

 _If he cares so much about me...why didn't he get me while I was still a kid...?_

 _ **KR. Because he's an idiot...just like you...**_

 _Well, then you're an idiot as well!_

 _ **KR: Great comeback..not...**_

 _Come back...something is coming...I can feel it..._

* * *

Ben grabs his head when he feel something approaching them through the force, something dangerous...

"Is your headache getting worse...? Oh, sorry. I forgot about your head..." his father looks shameful and pats his head, as if that would make the pain go away.

Rey's panic skyrockets until Ben shakes his head.

"I sense something coming..." says Ben and his father steps protectively in front of him before he can even finish the sentence.

"The First Order?" His father takes up his blaster, as if that alone would stop an army of troopers or the knights.

Rey takes up her staff with the same intention and a fierce glare, which Ben think is adorable, but, also thinks it a very wishful thinking that the staff can be used against any...real threat.

 _She needs a lightsaber, it such a waste, that she doesn't have one..._

 _ **KR: Don't you dare give her ours!**_

"No...something else..." replies Ben and his father and Rey look relieved and put away their weapons.

"Whatever it is, I will deal with it," his father grins confidently, grabs his wrist again and drags him further into the ship, with Rey following quickly after them.

* * *

"Just you..how?" asks Ben in disbelieving voice, as he tries to keep up with his father's fast pace, but he is so tired that he really just wants to lie down somewhere.

 _I've a lightsaber...and the force!_

His father shrugs. "I will talk my way out of it, like I do every time."

 _Oh, like he did...for instance with Jabba the hut...?_

 _ **KR: If that story is even true...**_

"Are you trying to have bounty hunters on your tail again?" asks Ben annoyed.

 _ **KR: Maybe we are being hunted by bounty hunters...?**_

 _No, we are...most likely being hunted by the Knights._

 _ **KR: That's much worse!**_

"That was a long time ago," says his father carelessly, though knowing his father, that could just be the case.

"And get frozen again in carbonite?" asks Ben, to remind him of the consequences of not taking such a threat seriously and his father stiffens and stops as if that had just happened.

"Carbonite...?" asks Rey stunned, who stops too, and Ben nods, as his father has trouble answering that question.

 _ **KR: That's a low blow...and it was grandad who did it...and he was going to put Luke into one. That would've been so funny!**_

 _Funny...? We would not even exist if that had happened...and dad might still be in carbonite to this day..._

 _ **KR: That's a bit creepy...even for my taste!**_

* * *

"That won't happen again..this is very simple, you won't do a thing except following my orders," says his father sternly and starts walking again, pulling Ben with him and Rey follows his lead.

Ben shrugs with the same carelessness as his father. "I can just take whatever is coming out with my lightsaber and the force."

 _ **KR: Personally, I would let Rey handle this instead...I don't trust you for our safety!**_

 _Well, no one asked you!_

His father looks far from impressed. "You will do no such thing. I'm not putting you in harm's way...ever again, kid."

"I'm not a kid!" snarls Ben at him and his father frowns at him and says: "You are my kid." They have reached the cockpit after the long walk. "I will protect you and that's a final."

Ben grumbles.

"I will protect you too," says Rey, pat his arm and smiles confidently.

"Thank you Rey... thank you... dad," Ben says, though he feels humiliated that they don't seem to realize, or are willing to admit, that the might of his powers are more than enough to protect himself and everyone on board, despite both having seen or even experienced it, first hand.

 _I'm not some helpless child..._

 _ **KR: No one can protect you, except me...**_

 _Shut up, Kylo. No one asked you to._

 _ **KR: I'm a volunteer...then..**_

 _Shut up..._

* * *

 _Next up: Inside the new ship, inside his head_


	13. Brothers bickering and father's care

_AN: Thank you so much for the reviews, follows and favorites! You guys rock!_

 _I had to divide the chapter again...but that just means that the next chapter will not be too far behind..._

* * *

Chapter thirteen - Brothers bickering and father's care

The first thing Ben notices at their arrival, is that the cockpit in this ship, like pretty much the whole ship, but as he wasn't allowed to check out the area with the monsters, he wasn't sure about that part, is that it is crazy spacious and comfortable, kind of like a cockpit-lounge and not cramped like in the Falcon.

Inside there are two comfy sofas, opposite each other, for extra passengers, that surprisingly have white duvets and pillows in them, which are most likely reserved for longer journeys, when his father and Chewie have to take separate shifts, but at the moment, Finn is napping in one of them in the most comfort. Even the pilot seat, which Poe is currently sitting in, with BB-8 to his side and the co-pilot seat, which seems to be Chewie's seat for some reason, looks extra comfy and are nothing like the ones in the ancient Falcon. However, despite all the comfort, Ben still thinks the Falcon is way more homey, even though currently it is falling apart and is kind of a deathtrap to fly in today.

 _But why is Chewie the co-pilot? Sure, he has far more experience than the idiot Poe!_

Ben really wants to kick Poe out of the pilot seat, but he resists the great temptation, even though Rey looks very jealous that Poe is flying the huge ship, as it is his dad's call who pilots it, so he leaves it to him, hoping for a good show when his father commands Poe to get the hell out of his seat...and also because he doesn't want to get into...even more trouble...by doing it himself...

At the back wall there are some containers. Ben has no idea what is kept in them, but he guesses that it must be food and something to drink, most likely alcohol, at least he can tell through the force that is nothing alive, which is reassuring as it's bad enough that the ship is already transporting some horrible monsters.

 _I hope they won't break loose..._

 _ **KR: At least we have our saber to defend ourselves..**_.

 _And everyone else..._

 _ **KR: Just focus on keep yourself safe...if a monster gets loose, it's everyone for themselves! Don't play a hero, that will get us killed!**_

 _I didn't know you were such a coward!_

 _ **KR: Coward?! I'm just trying to be the responsible one here! And didn't your dad forbid you to put you in harm's way? Just look, he hasn't even let go of your hand yet...even though you have reached the safety of the cockpit...**_

* * *

Ben looks down and to his wonder sees that Kylo is right, as his father still has his hand wrapped protectively around his wrist, even though they had long since arrived at their destination. His father stares eagerly at him, as if he's waiting for him to comment on the cockpit in the new ship, but since Ben had to wait for him to show up for twenty years, he gets some revenge in making him wait a little.

 _He's holding my wrist...not my hand..._

 _ **KR: Big difference...**_

 _It is...if it was the hand, I would feel like a toddler...is he never going to let me go...? I better say something...about this ship...compare it and the Falcon...but, the Falcon wins, hands down!_

"Nice ship, but it will never beat the Falcon," says Ben and he could just as well have given his father million credits, who smiles broadly and ruffles his hair affectionately with the none wrist holding hand.

 _Come on, let go of me already...! And stop petting me! I'm not a dog!_

His gang, Rey, Poe and BB-8, as Finn is still napping, looks in disbelief at him for praising the Falcon like that, which in there is eyes is nothing more than a flying junk and they were lucky to even get this far, while Chewie looks happy over his words as well as his father and smiles thankfully at him.

 _They are so easy to please..._

 _ **KR: Frightfully so...**_

"Thank you, son. I knew you would say that. Sit down and try to rest," his father finally lets go of his wrist and points at the unoccupied sofa with the duvet and the pillow, as if Ben had just come from a long journey, which is kind of true, since he had to get far away from the darkside.

Ben obeys, moves the duvet away and is surprised to feel how tired he really is, the minute he sits in the sofa. He nearly sinks into it and thinks seriously about following Finn's example and take a nap under the duvet, but as he feels guilty about taking up the whole sofa, he again, just like how he didn't kick Poe out of the pilot seat, resists temptation, as he is thinking about others...or well Rey, to be honest...

To his disappointment, Rey doesn't sit next to him, but instead chooses to stand behind Poe's seat to watch out the viewport, while occasionally glancing worried at Ben, most likely because of his head injury, she inflicted on him not too long ago.

Ben rubs his head, gives a thumbs up and smiles, just to try to alleviate her worries somewhat without his dad finding out she is the culprit behind it and he pats the seat next to him, to show her that there is no reason for her to stand. However, Rey doesn't look too convinced and bites her lower lip in worry and doesn't move to sit, but Ben still hopes she will do it eventually.

 _Hopefully soon..._

 _ **KR: To be fair, I think the possibility of the monsters getting loose is way higher...or whatever danger is heading our way to get here first...**_

 _Well, if that is true, why can't they hurry up? I just want to take care of it, so I can take a nap. It's annoying having to wait for them! Whatever it is..._

 _ **KR: True, waiting is torturous...**_

 _Why must I wait for every damn thing?!_

* * *

Ben is so tired and bored, that he tries to escape boredom by lifting up one of his hands and spread the fingers to inspect the childish band-aid with Threepio and the ewoks, as it's not like he has anything better to do, while waiting for monsters to get loose, the approaching danger to come or for Rey sit next to him so they can chat and he can teach her about the force.

The band-aid starts hypnotizing him as he stares intently into it, at Threepio in the high seat and the ewoks, hitting drums around him and treating him like a god.

The pictures come alive to him and he can just hear Threepio's voice, shouting:" _Oh, my goodness. What is happening?!"_

 _Poor Threepio, always out of the loop. He probably doesn't even know I turned. I wonder where he is...I haven't seen him in years...I wonder if Artoo is with him now, since uncle went into hiding. The last time I saw Artoo was when I was killing the pupils or was it the Seven...?_

* * *

Ben jolts up when a horrible memory is about to resurface and he grabs his head in panic, as if that could stop the memory from reappearing.

"Are you okay?" asks Rey worried.

 _ **KR: Okay...how the hell, did you manage to go from inspecting a kiddie-bandaid to killing?**_

 _It was because of the picture of Threepio on it! It made me think of Artoo which made me think of uncle which made me think of the...killings..._

 _ **KR: And you wonder why the you fell so easily to the darkside...you're too gullible...**_

 _Well, I'm not falling again..._

 _ **KR: It will happen...eventually...I will wait...for it...**_

 _Have fun waiting forever!_

"Ben?" Rey looks even more worried than before and is about to sit next to him, but his father, who never even left his side, beats her to it, grabs his wrist and checks carefully under the band-aid and asks: "Is the wound getting any worse?" Like Ben had been checking that instead of just being hypnotized by the picture on it and being brought unwillingly back to his dark past...

"No, no, I'm fine," says Ben quickly, as he has no intention of telling his dad about the awful things he just relived...by looking at a kiddies-band-aid...

 _So mortifying!_

"It looks okay. I was very careful not to touch the band-aid on our way here," says his father after having finished the inspection, as if the band-aid had been put on after some life saving surgery instead of just a small, mostly harmless, wound.

 _What...?_ Ben groans inwardly when he realizes that the reason his father didn't hold his hand was simply because of the band-aid was in the way, otherwise he wouldn't have hesitated to hold his hand like he was a toddler.

 _Is he ever going to treat me seriously?!_

"What about your head?" asks his father and starts inspecting that instead, when in truth he should have started his investigation there as Ben was grabbing his head in obvious pain.

"It's fine..." says Ben not convincingly and moves away from his care.

"Let me know if it changes." His father stands up and pulls the duvet over him, though he is still sitting, before he heads to the pilot seat in the front.

 _Yes! Finally, he's going to kick Poe out of it!_

Ben is happy to have a front row seat for it and to have something fun to take his mind of the killings of his past.

 _ **KR: Your dad won't kick him out...**_

 _Of course he will! Dad will not let some stranger fly his his ship! Especially not this stupid guy!_

 _ **KR: You're the one who is stupid...**_

* * *

"No, no you can pilot for a while," say Han to Poe, when Poe immediately stands up so he can take the pilot seat again and Ben is so disappointed that his father didn't at least order him to get out of it, even though Poe did get out of it on his own, but is also baffled that his father is allowing someone else to fly his ship.

 _ **KR: I told you so...**_

 _I bet it would be different with the Falcon..._

 _ **KR: Of course it would...everything is different with the Falcon...and you...**_

 _Me?_

 _ **KR: Your dad doesn't want to share you...**_

 _What am I? A cookie?_

 _ **KR: NO! Why are you always so damn thick!**_

 _I would rather be a thin...but a big cookie._

 _ **KR: Why do I even bother...?**_

 _You are always bothering me!_

"Sure, mister Solo?" asks Poe and looks surprised, but still takes the seat again.

 _Mister Solo...? He really is buttering him up..._

 _ **KR: If you are not careful your father might start comparing you two...why can't you be more like Poe...?**_

 _I will send Poe into space the minute it happens. That would solve the problem instantly as dad wouldn't be able to compare us anymore._

 _ **KR: Are you sure...you are not the evil one?**_

His father nods to Poe's question. "Positive, you seem to have the hang of it. Right, Chewie?"

Chewie looks a tiny bit annoyed to be stuck as the co-pilot, even though if he was really against it, he could just threaten to rip Poe's arms off or better, just rip them off!

 _Or maybe because Poe doesn't understand him, he had no idea Chewie told him in no uncertain terms to back off! Not, that Chewie would need any words to communicate when he doesn't like something...no, he must have been too polite as Poe is a "guest."_

 _ **KR: You should follow his example...**_

" _He's doing alright..."_ Chewie blinks Ben, who is happy to know Chewie doesn't seem to like that stuck pilot either and smiles back at him.

 _Chewie seems to want to get rid of him as well..._

"What did he say?" Poe turns to Rey for translation, which gives Ben an evil idea how to get him to leave the pilot seat, so he is far quicker than her to answer and says with a straight face: "He said your feet smell as terrible as the insides of a TaunTaun."

Chewie snorts, Rey frowns at Ben for that childish joke, his father shakes his head sternly, even though he gave him that inspiration when he told him many years ago, that inside of a TaunTaun is the worst smell he knows, as he had found out, when had to cut one open, to save his uncle from freezing to death on Hoth by putting him inside of it.

It takes a while for Poe to get that very detailed insult as he furrows his brows in confusion and tries to imagine what that must be like.

 _ **KR: You can't even insult a rebelscum without your father's help...**_

"Hey! You didn't say that...did you Chewie?" Poe looks between Chewie and Ben when at last he has finished his analysis of that very strange insult and managed to bring up some kind of an image of it in his head.

Chewie just laughs wholeheartedly along with Ben, while Rey and his father and even BB-8, frowns at him.

 _ **KR: Such a lame joke...**_

 _Would you rather I've said that his feet smell as bad as Snoke's rotting corpse?_

 _ **KR: What! That's outrageous! How dare you?! And the supreme leader is not a corpse!**_

 _Not yet..._

 _ **KR: Why you...son of bitch?!**_

 _Hey! That's is no way to speak about my mom!_

 _ **KR: Now, you know how I feel!**_

 _Snoke...is your mom?_

 _ **KR: What no! More like...a father...I really...really miss him...**_

 _I didn't know that. I'm sorry to hear that..._

 _ **KR: No you are not sorry!**_

 _I am...really...I know what it's like to...miss your father..._

 _ **KR: He's right in front you, you know...**_

 _I know...should we try to contact Snoke...so you can say how much you...miss him?_

 _ **KR: You would do that for me...? Really? Risk everything...for me? Wait, you're just messing with me, aren't you?!**_

 _Of course I am...I'm not putting our mission or the rebellion at risk...for something so stupid!_

 _ **KR: You are such a jerk!**_

"Be nice kids," rebukes his father him, as if he's breaking up a brother's fight and the stern voice jolts Ben straight back to the reality.

* * *

At first Ben is shocked over the fact that his father seems to have heard the darkside arguing inside his head, until it dawns on him, that he must be referring to him and Chewie, for the joke at Poe's expense, though the scolding is mostly directed at him, since his father glares at him to behave so Ben puts up his most innocent look and says: "What, he said that..."

Poe regards Chewie with a hurt look until Rey corrects the translation before his father gets a chance to it or scold Ben some more.

"He didn't say that, he said you're doing alright." Rey shakes her head sternly, even though Ben know that she wants to be the pilot instead and is really hoping to be asked to do it instead of Poe, or at least that they can take turns and Ben was really trying to help her, by insulting Poe so much that he would storm away to pout.

 _ **KR: Sounds more like something you would do...the pilot...eh rebelscum is far more mature than you...**_

 _Damn you're right...plan failed..._

 _ **KR: Plan? What plan? Why don't you just tell your father that Rey wants to pilot as well?**_

 _I can't...too shy...how would I explain it...? Without giving away my feelings for her?_

 _ **KR: You could say you are friends...**_

 _I don't want to be friendzoned either!_

 _ **KR: Sigh...she must have melted your brain a long time ago...**_

"Oh...hey! I'm the best pilot in the resistance...I can't just be doing alright...right?" asks Poe, when he realizes that what Chewie really said was also an insult and looks suddenly very unsure of his talent to fly the ship.

 _Hey, this might work! Any minute he will storm away and gives his position to Rey!_

 _ **KR: Or just back to your, you know, dad...**_

BB-8 chirps something to be a part of the conversation and Finn snores loudly in the back.

"Which is it, Chewie?" asks his father a bit forcefully and Chewie shrugs. " _He is doing more than fine..."_

"He said you're doing more than fine," translates Rey in a hurry before Ben can crack another joke, as he had another one on his lips, ready to go.

"Oh...thanks Chewie." Poe smiles at Chewie for the praise, who just shrugs.

 _Damn, now Poe will let the praise get to his head and never leave the pilot seat for Rey!_

 _ **KR: That was never going to happen anyway...**_

Poe scowls at Ben and mouths at him:" _Don't you dare translate for me anymore."_

" _I wouldn't even though you would beg me for it on your knees..."_ mouths Ben back at him.

BB-8 chirps something annoyed at him, while his father looks deep in thought, as he continues to evaluate Poe's performance in his head and Rey frowns at Ben for being so rude.

 _ **KR: Your plan to impress Rey sure failed...**_

 _Well, then I will just make up a new plan!_

 _ **KR: Just give up already...**_

 _No, you give up!_

"Okay, you can pilot for a while. I need to take care of my kid first." Han sits down next to puzzled Ben.

 _Take...care of...me?_

 _ **KR: Didn't he already...or does he mean...punish you...? For being mean to Poe?**_

 _I hope not! Not for being mean to stupid Poe, of all things!_

 _ **KR: Then I hope he will punish you for being so mean to me!**_

 _Like...that's ever going to happen..._

* * *

Before Ben know what is happening, his father, with something close to a lightspeed, takes of his boots, fluff the pillow, lifts up the duvet and orders him under it, tucks him in and when he gone under it, kisses him on his forehead and ruffles his hair. "Get some sleep, kid." He smiles at him before going to look for something in one of the crates in the back.

Ben looks stunned after him, as everything happened so fast.

 _Care...from his point of view...I could just as well be back in a cradle!_

 _ **KR: He sure treats you like that...**_

 _I sure hope he's not looking for a pacifier!_

Ben is way too exhausted to object to all that babish treatment verbally, however, if his father shows up with a pacifier he will cut it in half with his lightsaber. That should say a lot more than words and teach his father to stop treating him like a kriffing child!

 _ **KR: Don't, he would confiscate your saber and put you back in a timeout or...maybe this is a punishment?**_

 _What? How can this be a punishment?!_

 _ **KR: He send you to bed early for being mean to Poe, as he is a guest...**_

 _This isn't a bed! And I planned on taking a nap anyway and I am a guest as well..._

 _ **KR: Not in the eyes of your father, you are his property...**_

 _You always phrase things in such a weird way. Are you Snoke's property?_

 _ **KR. Of course I am! And you stole me from him!**_

 _You stole me away from my family for years..._

 _ **KR: No! I asked you nicely, you said yes.**_

 _Nicely?_

 _ **KR: Which is far different from how you took over without even asking me!**_

 _Would you have said yes?_

 _ **KR: NO! Of course not.**_

 _That's why I didn't ask. But, how come father didn't just let me sleep in the crew chambers? Why here...where everyone can see me...?_

Poe smirks when looking at where Ben is tucked in like a baby, but returns looking out the viewport when Ben sends him a death glare, BB-8 chirps something, Finn snores even louder in the other sofa, Chewie continues co-piloting the ship, but Ben can see where a small grin appears on his face and his father is still looking for something in the containers while Rey smiles sadly as she is probably remembering her own life, without a family to take care of her,

 _ **KR: Your father is probably still worried about your head injury and wants to watch over you...to make sure you're okay...**_

 _When, you put it like that...that's...kind of...nice of him..._

 _ **KR: Kind of...?**_

 _Okay...really, really nice of him...but still unnecessary...I've been through worse...way worse..._

 _ **KR: He doesn't know that...**_

 _And I won't...ever tell him...but, poor Rey, we can switch for a while, if she wants to...except of course dad is never allowed to kiss her! I'm the only one who gets to do that, but she should be a part of my family. I know mom always wanted a daughter...too..._

 _ **KR: You want to adopt her...?!**_

 _No, you fool! I mean as a daughter in law..._

 _ **KR: Aren't you getting a way, way ahead of yourself...? You aren't even dating...**_

 _Maybe, I can get her to lie down her next to me...to um...cuddle..._

 _ **KR: Right...as your dad would allow that...or any of the guys...even BB-8. Or Rey herself!**_

 _You're no fun as ever..well...I'm too lazy to even think any more..I thinking of taking a...short...nap..._

Ben closes his eyes.

 _ **KR: Well, then I will just take over again...**_

Ben's eyes snap wide open.

 _What! I thought you said...that you wouldn't take over then...you promised!_

 _ **KR: I wonder if, I am lying now or...then...**_

 _You suck so much!_

 _ **KR: Same to you...only way to find out...is falling asleep...**_

 _Well, I'm not risking it!_

 _ **KR: Suit yourself...but, really you should be on your guard anyway. Have you forgotten all about the approaching danger? And the monsters...?**_

 _Your'e right...for once! I can't sleep...not yet...we are still in danger...from something..._

* * *

Ben sits up and that doesn't go unnoticed with his overprotective father.

"What's wrong? Can't you sleep? Oh, of course he can't sleep on a empty stomach..." mutters his father as he dives back to his search, in the container.

 _Did he just talk about me in third person? I can talk...I'm not an infant! But, the hunger is not an issue...but the darkside. Not to mention, it's not really relaxing knowing there is some threat on it's way, but that threat is overshadowed with the fact that we are transporting monster, that the force deems way more dangerous than whatever is heading our way...I think I have even met those monsters before...somewhere..._

 _ **KR: I recognize their aura...from my nightmares...**_

 _That's not promising..._

"Here, eat this." His father throws him a food bar. "Until we get something better." He says apologetically and when Ben catches it with ease, he adds. "Nice catch." his father smiles, as if they are just playing catch in the backyard.

 _I've force reflexes of course can I catch things easily!_

 _ **KR: Don't be impolite...**_

"Thanks...for the food I mean..." Ben lifts up the food-bar, opens it and grimaces as he looks at the blue inside with great skepticism, since it doesn't look very appetizing.

 _Is that the only thing my father and Chewie have been eating? I hope not, mom would not approve...also Chewie needs his meat!_

"Please, let me know, if your head gets any worse," says his father worried. "I have some painkillers here, I just don't remember where I left them..." His father digs into the container, comes up again and scratches his head in a worry.

 _Typical dad...not remembering and losing something so important...like me..._

 _ **KR: Maybe you are looking at this all wrong, maybe your dad just forgot where he left you...for twenty years...**_

 _That's awful! Everything is better than that..._

 _ **KR: Sure...? Maybe the truth will be so painful...that would be better if you never knew it...**_

 _You are probably right...but I still deserve the truth! Why did he..abandon me...for so long? Why did he break his...promise to me?_

Ben gazes at his father's back where he is looking like mad for painkillers for him.

 _But, I'm not going to ask him now...we have to get through this trip first...safely...then everything can be brought to the light..._

 _ **KR: Or the dark again...**_

 _I didn't ask for your opinion!_

 _ **KR: You never do...**_

 _And never will..._

* * *

 _Next up: An awkward family dinner..._


	14. An awkward family dinner

_AN: Thank you so much for the reviews, follows and favorites! You guys rock!_

 _I decided to divide the chapter again...which means that the next chapter should not be too far behind..._

 _Another silly chapter...but with some plot...hidden there...mostly "filler" though...melodramatic Ben and frustrated Kylo..._

* * *

Chapter fourteen - An awkward family dinner

Ben has his feet firmly planted on the floor. He has long since given up on taking a nap under the comfortable duvet, which lies instead disregarded in the corner of the sofa, despite the fact that he is beyond exhausted. He can't sleep, not when there is an unknown danger coming...very slowly their way or because of the danger of the unknown monsters getting loose, not to mention his constant arguing with Kylo, all of which is hanging over his head and giving him a tremendous headache. On top of it all, he is still feeling the effects of the head injury Rey inflicted on him awhile ago, but the only bright side is she looks so worried about him, where she stands behind the pilot seat, which Poe occupies since he got to fly the freighter along with Chewie, while his father searches for some painkillers for him in the nearby containers.

Too bad, Rey's worry also stems from a great guilt, as she is one of the reasons he is such a bad shape in the first place, though Ben don't blame her at all for lashing out at him. But, she has to be careful of her emotions, if she isn't going to turn to the darkside as he did.

 _I haven't taught her anything yet...but am I really the best one to teach her?_

 _ **KR: Don't tell me you plan on leaving her training to Luke?**_

 _No, of course not! I turned because of him...and well mom's apology letter, no, I am her only hope...but, maybe it's for the best to wait with her training until after we have delivered the map to the resistance base. So much to do..._

 _ **KR: I can take care of her training...then you wouldn't have to worry about that...**_

 _Nice try...leave her alone..._

Ben looks envious at where Finn can sleep so peacefully in the other sofa...with not a care in the world. Which a bit surprising, since Finn always seems to be on edge when he is awake. _Maybe his only escape from his worries is to sleep them away...?_

 _ **KR: The former soldier is turning into a sloth...no discipline anymore...**_

 _It's just his way to enjoy his freedom...I wish I could enjoy it too..._

"Is your head really okay?" asks his father suddenly and Ben just nods to his father's question, even though his head is never okay with his constant bickering with Kylo.

"At least try to eat something, " says his father and indicates the blue food bar, Ben is still holding and hasn't dared to touch yet.

As Ben can't really choose anything else, he takes the leap and bites into the unappetizing bar and become wildly surprised by its good taste.

"Good?" asks his father and grins when he sees how Ben's face lightens up.

Ben nods and takes a another bite and can feel some of his energy come back.

 _What is this thing...?_

 _ **KR: If I had to guess..blue milk?**_

 _Well, it's kriffing delicious...who would have guessed?!_

 _ **KR: Never judge a book by its cover...**_

"I'm glad to hear that...you are all welcome to have some. You must be starving." His father, who noticed the hungry look of his gang, especially Rey, when Ben bit into the bar and moves the crate over the floor, closer to them all.

Rey takes the lead in making sure everyone is well-fed, as she dives into the container and emerges with her arms full.

She nods her thanks to his father. "Thank you sir." Before she heads off to delivering food to everyone. She delivers one bar to Poe in the pilot seat, one to Chewie, even one to his father, though he can easily get one himself, wakes Finn up gently and gives him one, before picking out one for herself, though she must be starving.

"Have another one, kid." His father suddenly sits beside him and replaces the old bar with a new one in his hand. "You can all have as many as you like." He takes the comforter from the corner of the sofa and wraps it around his shoulders, reminding him more and more of a fussing granny then his old grumpy dad. "Make sure, you don't get cold."

His gang nods their thanks for the food.

 _Really, where would we be if my dad hadn't showed up?_

 _ **KR: You might have crashed in the desert...and resorted to cannibalism...after weeks of starvation...**_

 _I doubt that...it was just a figure of speech..._

 _ **KR: I don't think so, you really are helpless...without him or more importantly me!**_

 _At least I'm not stuck as some stupid voice in someone's head..._

 _ **KR: Hey! That was a low blow! That was really, really mean!**_

 _I learned from the master..._

 _ **KR: Wait, are you talking about me...? You are calling me a master...? I'm finally a master!**_

 _So easy to please..._

* * *

Rey even makes sure BB-8 isn't left out of the mealtime, by pointing out to him an unused electric socket in one of the walls of the cockpit, which he plugs in and chirp-moans happily when he begins to charge himself, before she gets her own meal at last.

 _ **KR: She is too nice...not good for the darkside!**_

 _Good, I don't want her to go there!_

Rey takes a seat next to groggy Finn who sits up and looks sleepily at the food in his hand. Though he wakes up with a jolt when he sees that Rey is suddenly sitting next to him.

 _No, don't go over to him!_

 _ **KR: Bet you want her to go to the darkside instead!**_

 _No, I just want her to be with me!_

Rey devours her bar in one bite and burps loudly, startling everyone, even BB-8 with her table manners.

"Sorry...hungry..." She covers her mouth and smiles coyly when she sees the stare of everyone. Poe just laughs, Finn regards her like he is seeing her in new light, BB-8 chirps worried while Chewie goes back to co-piloting.

"If you are hungry, you can have some more," says his father and Rey nods her thanks and gets and devours another bar and another.

 _ **KR: Not very feminine...**_

 _Hey! I don't care about that and...she is used to starving! I have to buy her some fancy dinner sometime..._

 _ **KR: And teach her how to eat it...**_

 _No, she can eat it however she likes...as long as she eats...that's the only thing that matters..._

 _ **KR: I thought you were part royalty...**_

 _Mom was always trying to teach me those stuffy and boring table manners...and how to act in gatherings as such. Especially in the senate...though she gave up on bringing me there, after I blew up a homemade detonator..._

 _ **KR: Woah...wait...you were a terrorist...as a child?!**_

 _Of course not, it was just an innocent prank_ _._ _ **.**_ _._ _the "bomb" just shot all over the senate, paper that was covered in slime and said the senate kriffing sucks and the empire rules...!_

 _ **KR: The Empire? Did you know about the First Order at that time?**_

 _No...I was just trying to send a message I didn't want to be there..._

 _ **KR: I get your mom wasn't too happy...**_

 _I can still hear her yelling at me...and dad wasn't too impressed either when he heard what I had done...though he thought it was very funny...deep down...and way out of mom's earshot...but he didn't like the Empire part...that one got me into a lot of trouble!_

 _ **KR: And now you have done something far worse...**_

 _You have...I didn't do anything...darkside...or First Order stuff..._

 _ **KR: I doubt your mom...or dad sees it that way...**_

 _True...I'm still waiting for the real lecture to start...this can't be it...maybe he is waiting for a chance to lecture me in private!_

 _ **KR: I wouldn't say that he is too "shy" to yell at you in public...as he has already done that...repeatedly...**_

 _Then why is he...also so kriffing nice...to me...in between?_

Ben takes a look at his father, who to his surprise still hadn't gone back to piloting the ship, but instead stays by his side and makes sure he eats every bite.

 _ **KR: He must be feeling guilty...for abandon you all these years...**_

 _Well, he should feel guilty...he still hasn't explained anything...not that any explanation will be good enough...for what he did..._

Ben glanches at his father at his side, who watches Poe's every move with a critical eye, as if he was a flying instructor. But, as his father can't see any fault in what he is doing, Han nods and smiles content, which sparks jealousy in Ben, as he is certain that his father would be constantly criticizing his flying, if he were the pilot.

 _Nothing I did was ever good enough..._

 _ **KR: And still isn't...and never will be!**_

* * *

Ben can feel a pain in his chest and grabs it dramatically.

"What's wrong?" asks his father and turns to him.

"Nothing..." lies Ben. "Just tired."

"You should lie down after dinner," says his father with no room for argument.

Ben just nods.

 _But I can't ask him any of these painful questions now... we better just try to survive this meal... and trip..._

* * *

They all eat in silence and most of them happily. But, despite the quiet inside the cockpit, there is never truly a silence in Ben's head, as if Kylo isn't speaking to him, the force is warning him about something or he has a bad headache or everything at once, as is often the case.

 _Something is coming, I can feel it...but I can't figure out what it is...the monsters aura is in the way, but since they are deemed way, way more dangerous than whatever is coming, I should be able to relax..as long as the monsters don't get loose..._

 _ **KR: Don't you go open for them...just to speed things up!**_

 _I won't! Honestly, I don't mind some peace and quiet... sometimes... and the ship that was on its way must have broken down or something...though I can still feel it getting closer. Is it trying to sneak up on us? So we don't pick it up on our scanners? Well, they didn't expect a force user to be on a board! We should be able to surprise them. Maybe we should turn the ship around and sneak up on them!_

 _ **KR: I doubt you father wants to take that kind of a risk. It could be the First Order and we could be going straight into a trap! Your force sensitivity could be broken for all we know...or messed up because of the monsters aura overtaking it. Not that I would mind the First Order coming and ending this once and for all!**_

 _We won't know unless we take a risk. My father was always a risk taker...especially if there was credits involved...it wouldn't hurt to tell him of my plan, would it? Without of course mentioning that this might be First Order trap..._

* * *

"We are not turning around the ship," says his father sternly, as if he had seen right into Ben's mind who jolts up and stares flummoxed at his father, who continues: "It could be a trap for all we know. No, we will wait for them to come to us. Understood?" He frowns at him, as if Ben had planned on turning the ship himself.

"I was not going to ask that..." mutters Ben defeated, even though he has guilt written all over his face.

"You are always plotting something, when you are quiet," says his father matter of factly. "Make sure you eat enough." He puts another food bar in his hand and Ben takes a bite, but very politely or his father might scold him for it, though he wants to devour it like Rey did as he is so hungry.

"What is coming?" asks Poe and Finn, BB-8 and Chewie look alarmed.

"We don't know...but, Ben felt something," replies Rey.

Poe scoffs. "Very Helpful. Mister Solo..?" He turns to his father.

 _Shut up, "perfect" stupid Poe...let me eat and think in peace..!_

 _ **KR: I bet if Poe had told him your plan, your dad would've accepted it. He values him more...he probably wants him to be his son instead...**_

 _That's not true!_

 _ **KR: Then why is he allowing him to fly HIS SHIP instead of you? HIS SON?**_

 _I...don't know..._

"Call me, Han," replies his father and Ben stares betrayed at his father that stupid Poe gets to be on first name basis with him, but his father doesn't notice his look as he's too busy eating.

"Okay, Han...I curious to know how you lost the Falcon?" asks Poe and gets himself ready for a long interesting story, while Ben wants to chop him down with his lightsaber for being so chummy with his father.

"It got stolen," replies his father in his no nonsense voice and continues eating.

 _He shot him down..._ Ben heart soars. _Hehe, my dad never wants to talk much...to strangers! Take that stupid Poe!_

 _ **KR: Take that stupid Poe!**_

"I know that...I mean..." says Poe and looks hurt over having been shot down like that by his hero and looks to help to Chewie, who has no interest either in retelling that story.

His father gives Ben a sidelong accusatory glance who stiffens in fright. "Did you steal it?"

His gang and Chewie stare at him, as if he did indeed do that horrible deed.

 _Me...? Did I...? NO!_

"I didn't steal it!" yells Ben as if he had been dragged unwillingly and innocent in front of a court.

His father burst out laughing, hugs him and ruffles his hair. "I'm just messing with you. I know, you would never do that again." He lets go of him and pushes him playfully around.

"Well, don't startle me like that!" shouts Ben at him and it takes a while for his heartbeat to go back to normal.

 _ **KR: You don't really need much...**_

"Again?" asks Poe in disbelief and the rest of his gang share the same look.

Chewie shakes his head sternly to confirm that story and Ben gulps, when he remembers how angry Chewie was when they caught him.

"Or well tried to, when he was a child...ten I think. Not that you could even get the ship to lift from the ground...clearly not a natural flyer like me or your grandfather..." His father elbows him teasingly as that past "crime" didn't bring down his humor, unlike Ben as that memory, but especially those words stung him deeply.

 _That was more disappointing than the fact that I tried to take off with his ship. I always disappoint him, no matter what..._

 _ **KR: I told you that Poe was a better son for him...**_

His father clears his throat awkwardly, when he sees the bad mood, Ben is getting in, which is a clear as day to everyone, judging from his crossed arms, pouty lips and angry frown. "Not, that you don't have many other talents...especially to get yourself into trouble...and you most likely know how to fly now...but, I'm glad you didn't manage to fly at that time...I might have lost you back then...and the Falcon..forever. But more importantly, you." He strokes his hair softly.

"If I am so important then why didn't you bring me home ages ago?!" snaps Ben at him and bats his hand away, still angry that he was making fun of him, but even angrier over the fact that he abandoned him.

 _ **KR: I thought you weren't going to ask him now...**_

 _He started it!_

"From the First Order? You meant what you said as Ken Rolo? You were just waiting for me to rescue you...?" asks his father, baffled and everyone of his gang and Chewie looks as stunned as him.

 _Yes..._

 _ **KR: No, I didn't want any rescue...**_

"No...to pick me up from uncle Luke, you promised me..." Ben pouts and score some sympathy-abandoned points at last from Rey and even some from his gang and Chewie.

"I'm sorry I broke that promise...it wasn't my fault..." His father hangs his head.

"That's not what you said earlier!" barks Ben at him.

 _Give me the whole story now! What happened?!_

* * *

"It's complicated...did you pilot the Falcon?" asks his father and dodges the question by asking another.

"No...I was a co-pilot," replies Ben, though he is far from happy with the changing of the topic.

 _Not his fault? Whose then...mom's? That's can't be...Luke's...?_

"Co-pilot...?" asks his father and exchanges a surprised look with Chewie in the co-pilot seat, before looking over at his gang. "Then who was...?"

"I was the pilot," replies Rey.

"You?" asks his father in disbelief and looks between Poe, who is still in the pilot seat and her.

 _Hey, why is that such a surprise? Women can pilot too..._

"I was...also the pilot...for some time," adds Poe, as if Rey wouldn't have been perfectly able to handle it herself.

"We were both the pilots," says Rey firmly. "But, I was the main pilot."

"Two pilots," says his father and shakes his head as if it's the most ridicules thing he had ever heard. "For such a small ship..."

Chewie growls in agreement.

"And two co-pilots," adds Rey, as if that would make it better and points at Finn beside her, who jumps up as if she had just asked him to co-pilot again.

His father shakes his head. "What an odd crew. Ben, why weren't you the pilot?" He looks at him sternly as if he didn't do his homework and had instead copied it from a friend.

"We asked him..." begins Rey and Poe, Finn and BB-8 nod in agreement.

"I didn't want to..." mutters Ben and hopes that will be enough, but his father presses on:"Why?"

Ben shrugs. "Memories...did you want me to pilot it?"

His father nods. "Of course."

 _I thought he didn't trust me for it._

"You can fly now right?" asks his father and Ben shrugs as if it is no big deal: "Yeah, had my own ship..."

 _ **KR: NO, it was I who had a ship...no two ships! Command ship and a shuttle!**_

 _You didn't own them, the First Order did...and it owned you...us...like you said, you were Snoke's property..._

 _ **KR: Is his property...I was just temporarily stolen away by you...**_

 _Sounds like a slave..._

 _ **KR: Well gramps was a slave as well! At first...but, also kind of the Emperor's slave...**_

 _And he was and you are slave of the darkside..._

 _ **KR: I can't deny that...**_

"What happened to your ship?" asks his father sternly, as if he's about to lecture him about how to take proper care his ship and Chewie, Rey and BB-8 gives him the same look.

"It erm...broke down..." Ben avoids his father's stern gaze, as he would never in million light years admit that he broke it himself...or well Kylo with his temper tantrum.

 _Please stop interrogating me!_

 _ **KR: It was not a tantrum!**_

Poe and Finn, who are the only ones who knows the truth shake their heads over his vague story.

"I will give you, your own ship...for your birthday," says his father and Ben stares speechless at him, since he was expecting a lecture not a gift.

 _ **KR: A bribe to keep you from the darkside...and the First Order?**_

 _Well.. he does owe me twenty years of gifts..._

 _ **KR: Ask for a TIE-fighter! I dare you!**_

"Can I get a TIE-fighter?" asks Ben innocently, startling his gang and Chewie with his audacity.

 _ **KR: You...dared...**_

 _I'm braver than you think. Braver than you!_

 _ **KR: Nah...**_

His father stares at him, like he's not sure whether he is kidding or not and finally says slowly, as if he were explaining something to a child: "No...it's a warship."

 _Not enemy?_

"But, we are at war," points Ben out and Chewie, Poe, Finn, Rey and even BB-8 nod in agreement with him.

 _I have just switched side..._

 _ **KR: That was a big mistake...that will be fixed soon.**_

 _Not if I can help it!_

"Well, I'm taking you out of it," says his father firmly and adds, before Ben can even object to that ludicrous suggestion. "And until you get your own...transport ship, not and never a warship. You can fly this ship...or the Falcon. If you like."

"Really...?" asks Ben shocked.

 _He taking me out of the war...but more importantly, he's allowing me to fly his ships?!_

 _ **KR: He said you would be allowed to fly the Falcon at thirty...then it should be safe...**_

His father nods. "The Falcon is particularly yours as well..."

Poe looks so jealous over that fact and that makes Ben even happier.

 _I own the Falcon...partly...since when?!_

 _ **KR: Since he's doing everything to keep him at his side...**_

 _It's kind of working..._

 _ **KR: And he's trying to make up for having abandon you...**_

 _Why did you have to remind me of that...?!_

 _ **KR: Someone has to remind you to stay angry all the time...**_

 _Jerk..._

* * *

"I hate the fact I wasn't the one to teach you flying...I was going to teach you when you became sixteen...I was going to teach you so many things..." His father sighs over the lost times. "Or maybe you don't know everything..." He looks up deep in thought, as if he is mentally checking a checklist of important life-skills in his head.

"Sixteen? You said thirty to me...when I was ten..." Ben gets a hurtful look when remember that painful memory. "You said that I wouldn't get to fly until then. So unfair!" He whines over the injustice, just like when he was ten years old and doesn't care for a moment that Rey or the others sees him acting so childish or they fact that they gawk at him. He only cares about voicing his objections to his father...again...even though he's plans on giving him a ship for his birthday, since of that could just be an empty promise after all.

 _Of course I broke that stupid no-flying rule.._

 _ **KR: Along with all the other rules...**_

 _I hope I don't into trouble for breaking the no-flying rule!_

His father exchanges surprised glances with Chewie and then he lifts an eyebrow. "Thirty? I was only kidding son."

Poe and Finn snorts over the melodramatic Ben had shown, BB-8 chirps-laughs and Rey shakes her head, while Ben's face heats up and he desperately wants to sink through the floor.

 _Kidding...?! Well, to a boy with a low enough self esteem, it was not the wisest thing to say!_

 _ **KR: I agree...that was a bit mean...**_

"I hope you had a good flying instructor. If not, I will teach you properly," his father frowns at first sternly at him and then it gets replaced with a happy smirk, as he wants to teach him after all.

 _ **KR: He will breathe down your neck the whole time...don't do that, and this is forbidden...this is too dangerous! That is not how you use lightspeed!**_

 _I don't want him to be a backseat pilot! And like he's the one to lecture me about safe flying...!_

"Is it true that the Falcon made the Kessel Run in fourteen parsecs? asks Rey, before Ben can remind his father himself, of some of his flying escapades.

"Twelve!" barks Ben at her as he still in foul mood after having looked like a fool in front of everyone, before either his father or Chewie gets a chance to correct that old and constant misunderstanding, surprising them and his gang, but mostly Rey with his harsh tone.

"You've told me the story so many times...sorry..." Ben hangs his head in shame for treating Rey like that who glares at him and crosses her arms.

 _I didn't mean to snap at her! I did it on autopilot!_

 _ **KR: You do everything lately on autopilot...let me take the wheel instead...**_

His father smirks and pats his head as reward for correcting that story. "Nothing to be sorry about. It is true. It made the Kessel Run in twelve, not fourteen parsecs." He smiles at Rey, but when he sees the frown on her, he turns to Ben and scolds him. "You shouldn't be rude to the ladies...or anyone. You know better."

Chewie growls at him, BB-8 chirps angrily while Finn looks bored, but Poe is awed by his hero's story and looks eager to know more.

"I'm so sorry..." Ben looks dejected and dramatically hides his head in his arms.

 _Will she ever forgive me?!_

 _ **KR: For this...? If not, then your relationship is doomed from the start...unless you are in kindergarten...!**_

"Wow, twelve parsecs..." says Poe and opens his mouth to ask more questions, but Ben beats him to it, by lifting his head from his arms and asks:"Can Rey fly too? As he desperately tries to make up for his "accidental" rudeness.

"You know I can fly!" snaps Rey at him, as she misunderstood his question completely and was still pissed at him and even more so for not just asking her directly.

"No I mean...can she be the pilot as well...for the Falcon and this ship?" asks Ben his father, who stares suspiciously at him over that strange request. "Why?"

Rey looks puzzled as well, Poe and Chewie smirk as they know what his game is, while Finn and BB-8 looks lost as usual.

"She's the only woman aboard...I'm all for women's right...equality...you see...and she is a very good pilot, she has the force so she can practically fly with her eyes closed!" says Ben hurriedly before he passes out from her staring so intently at him.

"But I would never do that...I never did that..." says Rey flustered and to Ben's surprise he can tell that she is lying through the force and the obvious telltale signs, as she curls a hair lock around her finger and laughs nervously.

 _ **KR: For someone who lectured you about lying, she sure lies a lot...**_

 _I don't care about that...but that she has flown with her eyes closed...she has trusted in the force after all? Even though when I told her to do it when we were evading the TIE fighters, she didn't want to...or did she when I had my eyes shut? Or when I was "frozen"?_

 _ **KR: And she did it flawlessly without any training...really this girl is a walking cheatmode...**_

 _A beautiful and clever walking...cheatmode...I'm not calling her a cheatmode!_

 _ **KR: No one forced you to...that's just my nickname for her...**_

 _Well, you are not allowed to use it!_

 _ **KR: You are so mean...then I will just call her the scavenger...**_

 _She has a name, you jerk!_

 _ **KR: My name is not you jerk! And what so wrong with calling her a scavenger...it's her job occupation...**_

 _Then I will start to call you a dark jedi instead of Kylo Ren, how about that? Then you will now how it feels..._

 _ **KR: I don't mind...it's not like you use my name that often...only call me jerk...**_

 _Sorry about that, I will remedy that...Kylo..._

 _ **KR: Fine, since you asked so nicely, I will call her Rey.**_

 _Thank you._

 _ **KR: My...pleasure...**_

* * *

 _Next up: Pictureshow!_


	15. A family picture show

Chapter fiveteen - A family picture show

His father looks between Ben and Rey, as if he's trying to see any connection between them, that might explain his weird request, but when he fails to find none, he nods and says: "Sure, she can fly too...but not with your eyes closed. The same applies to you Ben. I don't care if your uncle did it to take out the first Death Star, it's way, way to risky. Do you hear me kids? Never fly...or drive with your eyes closed, don't even walk like that. Always pay attention on the road. Always," lectures his father them as if they were children instead of adults.

"Yes, sir," replies Rey, eager to please, while Ben mentally rolls his eyes.

"Yes, father..."

 _Of course I will just continue using the force like that, when he's not looking..._

 _ **KR: Of course...**_

"Ben, what did I say?" His father scowls at him, as he had seen right through him...once again.

Chewie growls at him to behave, while Poe who, if Ben had to venture a guess, had mostly let the ship fly on autopilot frowns at him sternly for not paying attention.

 _Hypocrite..._

"Always pay attention to the road, space, whatever when driving, flying or walking. Always, no exceptions," states Ben in a robot-like voice.

 _ **KR: Always stay on the road to darkness...**_

 _That is not what he meant!_

His father nods, pleased with his answer. "Good, what were we talking about again?"

Poe who had shown tremendous patience in not having his first question answered and had waited patiently from the derailed conversation to get back on track, says: "Mister Solo...I mean Han...I know the Falcon got stolen...I mean..."

 _I have never seen Poe stutter! And he's so nervous!_

 _ **KR: The rebelscum is acting like a schoolgirl in love...**_

 _Kind of gross! You are talking about him and my father, you know!_

 _ **KR: I know...I like to gross you out...it's so easy to do...**_

 _Evil jerk..._

 _ **KR: Besides, you know he only has eyes for Finn...**_

 _He does...? For real?_

 _ **KR: Or maybe he has eyes for you...since he always teasing you...you know what they say the boy teases the girl...or boy they likes...**_

 _Ew, gross! That idea that Poe likes me! I think what you said is fairly accurate...but me and Poe! Ugh! Makes me sick!_

 _ **KR: All too easy...**_

 _Wait, you are always teasing me...does that mean, you like me?_

 _ **KR: What! That's absurd!**_

 _Haha...in your face!_

* * *

"You said you found it...who had it? Ducain?" His father turns from the fanboy, Poe to the fangirl, Rey, drawing Ben back to the current events at hand.

"I stole it from Unklar Plutt, who stole it from the Irving boys, who stole it from Ducain, who stole it from..." Rey allows Han to finish that statement, which he does: "Me, well I stole it back for good..."

His voices trails off and looks at Ben at his side, as if he's looking for inspiration, but before Ben can give him a single idea, he wraps him tightly in the duvet and hugs him in the same manner as if he had caught him in a net. "Just like how I stole my son back from the First Order!" His father grins victoriously and messes up his hair, to Ben's great annoyance, but for the enjoyment of the others.

"You didn't do anything..." mutters Ben vexed, that he is taking the credit for his hard work and treating him like small child.

His father's frowns at him, even though he's speaking the truth, lets go of him, but then he grins wolfishly as if he's got some evil idea.

 _What's up with that creepy smile...?_

 _ **KR: Even I am little afraid...**_

"Would you like to see some pictures of him?" asks his father his gang.

He drags the container to the sofa and puts the lid on the container, before taking his wallet from his pocket.

"Pictures?" Ben looks at him perplexed. Whatever diabolical plan he thought his father was hatching, this was not one of those.

 _Not holos? Wait, what pictures...? What is he blabbering about?_

 _ **KR: As he has not seen you in twenty years...these must be pictures from your earlier years...**_

"I would love to," replies Rey and smiles, who seems to have forgiven Ben at last for snapping at her and Chewie looks as excited as if the holidays had come early.

"Sure." Poe shrugs, but also wears an identical creepy smile to that of his father, as if this was all a plan they had worked on together in secret, which unnerves Ben greatly, though of course that can't be true, as they had never met before until today.

 _What's going on?_

Only Finn and BB-8 look as left out and as lost as Ben.

 _Kylo, what did you by mean earlier...years...?_

"What no!" shouts Ben in horror when he realizes, too late, his father's intention who takes out of his wallet, an old photo of him and puts it on the lid of the container, for everyone to see.

"Aw, how cute!" exclaims Rey and whips her head between the picture and Ben as if she is trying to tell the difference, which Ben feels is even more mortifying.

"This was one of the last pictures before you...went...away to train. Do you remember that day?"

His father points at the picture which shows Ben as a child standing next to swing on the playground, wearing black clothes and holding a big black helmet. He looks over his shoulder with an annoyed expression and if he had been interrupted in mid play.

 _But, this is strange, I don't remember wearing these clothes..._

 _ **KR: You were always in some make believe games...**_

 _But they look strikingly familiar to the ones I'm wearing now...even the helmet..._

 _ **KR: Coincidence...I think not...but why do you look so annoyed?**_

 _I hate having my pictures taken...that is why I like to wear masks..._

 _ **KR: Ah...makes sense...**_

 _Dad forced me to take it down for that stupid photo...said something like how he wanted to see the face of his son. Even though I told him over and over that I was not his son but Kylo Ren...! Wait...what...you didn't exist back then!_

 _ **KR: You are sure?**_

 _I'm sure...I think..._

"He hasn't changed that much. Look same clothes, helmet..." remarks Poe and voices aloud what Ben is thinking.

Chewie, Finn and BB-8 look quickly between picture and back at Ben and frown.

Rey looks startled over that revelation and Han stares intently at the picture and back at Ben, as if he is just realizing this now. "Hmm...you're right. I've more pictures..." His father puts away that picture in his wallet to get even more innocent ones.

 _Not more pictures!_

 _ **KR: You can still turn back to the darkside and end this humiliation!**_

 _It's not that bad...I think...and maybe a monster will get loose or the danger appear...please..._

* * *

To Ben's horror's his father doesn't have just one picture to embarrass him with, but his whole wallet seems to be stuffed with them and his father arranges them on the closed lid of the container so everyone can see them, enjoy and laugh at him.

Most of the pictures feature some of his childhood's shenanigans and to Ben's surprise, he is always wearing black clothes and very often his homemade helmet and that was long before he even knew the truth about Darth Vader.

 _Really...it was so obvious where I was heading...straight to the darkside! So why didn't my parents try to stop me?!_

 _ **KR: They must have thought you would grow out of it...I told you haven't matured...**_

Poe grin widely as he can't believe his own luck or had fallen into a container full of credits, Finn has trouble keeping the laughter in, BB-8 chirps-chuckles, Chewie looks mesmerized as if he reliving the past, while Rey looks as awed as if she had stumbled on some forbidden treasure.

 _At least she seems to like children...that's good to know..._

 _ **KR: Dude, you begin dating her first...not knock her up...**_

 _I wasn't thinking about that! I was just filing it for future references!_

 _ **KR: Your mom and dad probably want some grandchildren...**_

 _SHUUUT UP!_

* * *

"Dad! Why did you keep those pictures?!" shouts Ben in the desperate hope of shutting up Kylo, as this situation is bad enough without him putting some strange ideas in his head.

 _I expected mom to do that, but not my grumpy dad! And so many! Couldn't he just chose one?!_

"To remind me, that despite everything that you were...and still are my boy," replies his father grinning and pinches his cheek teasingly as if he is a toddler.

Ben rubs his sore cheek with a stunned look. "But, I thought you said...that you thought I was lost forever to the darkside..."

 _I don't understand..._

Something seems to die inside his father when he utters those words. He looks crestfallen until he nods and says: "That was what I feared...so I only had hope...but, if you think this is bad, your mother keeps a traveling bag with a old photoalbum, your old clothes, toys, even your old plushie, Wicket." He smirks. "Do you remember that one?"

"Mom...keeps all of my old stuff...? IN the resistance base?" Ben's jaw drops over that revelation and his father nods sadly.

 _I'm not sure if I should be creeped out or touched by it...did mom think I would change back into a innocent child...if she wished hard enough?_

 _ **KR: You're still a kid in her eyes...and your father's...**_

 _I hate that you are right..._

"It's true I have seen that bag. She told me that stuff belonged to her son...that died...many years ago..." says Poe and he frowns confused. "Huh...what do you know, she lied to me..."

 _Of course she didn't tell them the truth..._

"She didn't have much hope for me then..." Ben lifts his shoulders to his ears and Rey looks sympathetic and the others look awkward.

 _Even she gave up on me..._

 _ **KR: I will never give up on you!**_

His father pats his back. "There was always a hope. Here, Chewie has a picture of you with your plushie." He takes a picture from Chewie's hand and puts it in Ben's hand, as if that picture would make him feel better.

 _Chewie has pictures too!_

"Whatever for?! And when was this picture taken?!" shouts Ben.

 _Stop embarrassing me!_

* * *

"Awww...he's so precious!" exclaims Rey and pets the head of his sleeping innocent past self who is clutching his teddy bear tightly and sucking his thumb.

 _I would rather that she petted modern me instead of the past!_

 _ **KR: You're never happy...**_

"When you were asleep...obviously..." Poe grins and points the picture which shows Ben as a toddler, sleeping peacefully.

 _ **KR: I wonder if Luke has some pictures too...it would be the easiest way for him to ruin me. You think, he is some dark force to be reckoned with? Well I've a picture of his innocent self to disprove that!**_

 _Sounds horrifying!_

"You couldn't even talk at that time, of course you don't remember when this picture was taken..." says his father apologetic over having taken a picture of him without his permission, instead of apologizing for keeping on humiliating him in front of his new gang.

"Why do you have pictures instead of holos?" snaps Ben at him, as if that was a cardinal sin not to use the newest technology. He crosses his arms and glares at the pictures as if they were a personal insult to him.

"I've holos too, this is just more personal," replies his father, shrugs and Chewie nods in agreement.

Ben shakes his head. "Poe, you better not put any of this on the holonet!" He shouts at Poe, when he sees his evil grin appear.

 _ **KR: My repudiation would be ruined! Well...even more...**_

"Thanks for the idea!" Poe grins and fistbumbs with Finn who loves the idea and BB-8 chirps happily.

"Youuu..." Ben jumps up and uses the force to get all the pictures into his hands, startling everyone with his sudden outburst, though they should have seen it come a mile away.

"Ben, don't you dare!" shouts his father in a warning tone when he is about to rip them all apart.

Chewie growls at him to stop, Finn looks a bit afraid to see his old darkside temper reappear, Poe and BB-8 shake their head sternly in unison.

"Ben, please," says Rey with clasping hands and he can see it in her eyes, how much she wants her own family photos, that ripping even one of his own would break her heart...or his head...

 _I will find her family and revenge her. How dare they leave such a diamond behind?!_

 _ **KR; Could be for number of reasons...**_

 _Well they suck!_

Ben hands his father the pictures back without a single word and sits down again, as if nothing had happened and everyone visible relax, as if a great storm had just passed them by.

"Good boy." Han pats his head as if was well-trained dog instead of a former darkside user and Ben groans and sinks further down in the sofa.

 _Why can't any of their parents show up and embarrass them! Oh wait, that's not possible for poor Rey...even though she would probably secretly...or well openly enjoy that...Finn doesn't know his family either, BB-8's parents...? Nah...but Poe's parents, yeah! That would teach him! I can just imagine his mortified look if they would show up here or in the rebelbase and...mwhahaha...!_

* * *

"Ben, who are these guys anyway? Your friends?" asks his father him curiously as if Ben had dragged a lot of strangers home, when he gave up on getting him to participate in the conversation about the stories behind photos, as Ben wanted to sulk instead and plan his revenge on Poe for bearing witness and enjoying his humiliation.

 _A very, very, very late introduction for them..._

 _ **KR: Give your dad a break...he was still getting to know you...again...**_

 _You're right...I wish this wasn't like twenty years into the future...and how to introduce them?_

 _ **KR: A rebelscum, a traitor, a violent but powerful woman and stupid droid but with a very important map that must go to the First Order...at all cost...**_

"Rey, Finn, BB-8, all new...friends...except this guy...Poo...I mean Poe." Ben points rudely at Poe in the pilot seat, who frowns at him, before taking the last bite of the food-bar and is about to ask for a sixth one, when his father asks him in a conspiracy like voice: "Is he an enemy?"

 _Enemy? Yes we used to be enemies...kind of are still enemies, but different...more like a frenemy...or annoying older brother...like you!_

 _ **KR: I'm older?**_

 _Technically no, as I came first, but you act like it!_

 _ **KR: I'm wiser than you! And Poe still is my enemy...you all are! Especially you!**_

Han looks between his son and Poe. Even Chewie looks suddenly wary of him, while Rey, Finn and BB-8 looks shocked over that accusation, especially since Ben hasn't answered yet and holds at the moment, their fates or well at least Poe's, in his hands.

 _Dad must know that he's isn't really an enemy...I would never allow a real enemy to get this far.. No, this was also our "secret" code for when someone was bullying me...not that ever worked. Like when father showed up once in my school and asked me directly in front of everyone who of my fellow classmates were my enemies. It really scared them that one of the heros of the rebellion were asking ...but not straight..._

 _That scare tactic only worked for a small time, as dad was forbidden to ever return to the classroom without mom to supervise him, so he didn't traumatize the other children. But as they were both always so busy, I had to take matter into my own hands, since I wasn't allowed to just drop out of school to become a smuggler...and of course my dark revenge on the bullies only got me into trouble..._

Ben looks between his father and Poe who frowns at him.

 _Poe is always getting me into trouble. I nearly ruined the precious picture show for Rey, just because of him!_

 _ **KR: No your temper did...**_

 _Poe can be a real bully...and since I always get into trouble when I try to get rid of bullies myself...I can save myself some headache, by having my father dispatch of him and such a sweet revenge to have him thrown out by his hero! And if mom complains, I will just tell her dad send him away...not my fault...and his mission is over anyway..._

 _ **KR: That's so mean...even though he is my enemy and can be a bully...but, what about Finn? Him and Poe have become inseparable buddies. Are you sending him away too?**_

 _Finn will be happy not having to stay in a ship full of monsters...and then he will be far away from my Rey!_

 _ **KR: What about BB-8?**_

"Ben...?" says his father.

 _Why do you care so much about that stupid droid?!_

 _ **KR: It was the droid I was looking for...it has the map...**_

 _I will take the map out of BB-8 and Finn, Poe and his droid can find another way to the resistance...much safer for them, then staying here..._

 _ **KR: Right...you're thinking about them...but why do you think Rey wants to stay? She wants to go home, remember?**_

"Ben, I asked you a simple question...is he an enemy?" asks his father firmly.

"Ben, Poe is not an enemy," says Rey sternly and repeats it to his father as if he didn't hear it loud and clear, even though he is in the same room, or maybe she is just trying to convince herself as well, as she doesn't really know him that well. "He's not an enemy."

BB-8 chirps something outraged.

"No, BB-8, Ben isn't an enemy either...not anymore," says Rey and pats the droid which is hopping mad, while Poe looks annoyed at Ben and Finn looks nervous, as if he's going to be send out in an escape pod at any given moment and even though Rey has already given the answer both Chewie and his father are is still waiting for him to answer the question himself, as they are not asking about that kind of an enemy.

"Son?"

 _I will find a way...I make a new home for her...I already told you why I can't send her away! Stop confusing me! You always make me feel like I am the bad guy! You are the bad guy...most of time...I think..._

 _ **KR: It's more fun that way...**_

 _At least I will get rid of Poe, okay! He's mean to me! A bully! Like you!_

 _ **KR: I'm not a bully...**_

 _No, you're way worse than that! A bully isn't stuck in your head tormenting you all day!_

"Are you okay, son?"

 _I can at least get rid of one bully..._

"He hit me!" Ben whines for a more effect, rubs his eyes with one of his hands and points accusingly at Poe with the other.

His acting works, as his father looks between his beaten up head and Poe and makes the connection Ben wanted.

His nostrils flare up and he stands up to yell at Poe: "What? Why you...?!" His father shakes his fist at him and Chewie growls at Poe like an animal.

 _ **KR: Rey hit you too...with her staff. And it was way way worse than what Poe did...and she bit you!**_

 _She has every right to be angry..._

 _ **KR: Technically...Poe as well.**_ _.._

 _Well, I like her...but not him..._

 _ **KR: True, I don't like him either...rebelscum...**_

Ben blinks Rey, but she looks far from happy with him having Poe taking the blame for his head injury, even though he technically did it to help her.

"Ben..." says Rey and shakes her head so disappointed in him and Ben instantly regrets his whiney act.

"Uu..." he begins, but before he gets any further, Poe snaps at him: "Yeah, but I did it, because he tried to kill people with the darkside...even though he had gone to the lightside..." Poe shakes his head, as he saw through Ben's plot right away and didn't even try to flee as he had a bulletproof defense at ready.

Han gets an expression as if he had just swallowed a whole lemon and Chewie gets a similar one.

 _ **KR: Well...that certainly blew up in your face...**_

 _Oops...I didn't think of that...he was never supposed to find out about that!_

"What...?!" His father turns to him with a furious look. "Is that true?!"

Chewie glares at him as well.

 _ **KR: It was nice knowing you...you are so doomed...**_

 _I told you stupid Poe would get me into trouble!_

* * *

 _Next up: The "trial..."_

 _The picture show was inspired by the LilKylo drawings, minus the Darth Vader teddy bear..._


	16. The darkness of the past

_AN: Thank you as always for the support! You guys rock! So sorry for the delay, I've both been busy and rewriting and rewriting this story as I got a bit lost...especially with Kylo, who is extremely difficult and challenging to write, because sometimes, he makes perfect sense and other times he's only confusing Ben and sometimes even helping, so the line between him and Ben is very blurred. And now it's time for Kylo to make his comeback...slowly...into the light...erm dark..._

 _A very angsty chap, but hopefully also cute and funny though as someone who has a real life experience being stuck in my head (had a nervous breakdown - PTS), it was a bit difficult to write, but also necessary to be funny (thanks to Kylo), but of course poor Ben is an extreme case._

 _There will be more family fluff (otherwise I wouldn't be writing this fic!), Ben just has to work out some...very tough issues first...and Kylo is of course not helping..._

 _And the Guavian deathgang are coming...they are just very...very slow in my fic unlike the quick timing in the movie. ;)_

 _The next chapter should hopefully not be too far behind..._

* * *

Chapter sixteen - The darkness of the past

Ben should be used to it by now, how few simple words can flip his world upside down. How in an instant, spoken promises can be easily broken, how lies suddenly becomes his reality and how the truth becomes the lie as he lives his life out in darkness. Everything can change in a less then a second, nothing goes on forever...

 _This peace was only temporary..._

 _ **KR: Told you...a bit dramatic though...it's only your dad who is mad at you...and Chewie...**_

 _Well, it's a big deal for me! I was this close to get a normal family life...why can't we just go back to checking out the photos?!_

The family photos sit disregarded on the container where his father left them and Ben feels as if they are mocking him by their mere existence, along with Poe who smiles victoriously, still in the pilot seat.

 _Why did stupid Poe have to ruin everything?!_

 ** _KR: If you think you were getting a normal life back...you are living in a denial...nothing will ever be normal...ever...again..._**

 _Thanks to you..._

 ** _KR: Thanks to...I thought this was Poe's fault?_**

 _It's your fault as well._

 ** _KR: Always my fault...not fair..._**

Once again his father is beyond furious with him and it's all thanks to Poe's stupid, but true words.

 ** _KR: Not my fault then?_**

" _Yeah, but I did it because he tried to kill people with darkside...even though he had turned to the light."_

 _Why couldn't Poe keep his mouth shut? How could my plan backfire so much?!_

 _ **KR: That all your plans ever do...so from now on let me handle all the planning...**_

 _Now, dad has given up me again...I will go away...before he sends me away...I'm not going through that again! Never again! I just can't!_

"Ben, answer me!" yells his father like he is far away, instead of Ben just sitting in a sofa close to him in the spacious cockpit.

 _ **KR: That's right go straight out that door...all the way back to the First Order...wait! Don't forget the map! We need the map!**_

"I want answers," commands his father him.

 _I don't care about the map!_

 _ **KR: Well, I care a great deal! Get it now!**_

 _Even if I wanted it...I can't move..._

 _ **KR: So kriffing useless!**_

* * *

"What's going on with you?" His father runs exasperated a hand through his grey hair. "I'm asking you a simple question...yes or no will do...to begin with. If the answer is no, that would mean either of you are lying..." He glares at Poe in the pilot seat, who shakes his head and Finn, Rey and BB-8, nod to confirm that he is telling the truth.

His father sighs. "And as much as I would like to believe you, my son, you haven't exactly proven yourself trustworthy. But if it is yes, which it most likely is...well then we have awful lot to discuss...so which is it, Ben?" He fold his arms and glowers at him. "Or do you want to find a corner and think your answer over there?"

 _"Little Ben, answer your father,"_ growls Chewie at him from the co-pilot seat.

"BEN! I'm warning you! Don't test me," barks his father at him.

"Did he freeze up again?" asks Rey, when there is still no answer from Ben despite the threat of a cornertime. She sits beside Finn in the other sofa and that sight alone is enough to make Ben feel sick, but that is not the reason why he is feeling so ill...not this time.

"Freeze?" His father looks at his son with a puzzled expression, as if he's expecting to suddenly see a robot sitting there, instead of a human being.

"He kind of froze when he entered this ship, remember...and the Falcon...we thought he was sick..." continuous Rey and bites her lower lip in worry when remembering that.

Chewie leans over and waves a hand in front of Ben and is startled to see no reaction.

"Or even dead..." adds Poe and BB-8 chirps in agreement, while Finn who missed that, looks lost, as he has no idea what they are talking about.

BB-8, who at had last finished charging, rolls unasked over to Ben and shocks him and again there is no reaction, at least none they could see.

 _Ouch...stupid droid._

 ** _KR: Stupid droid...with an important map...get the map..._**

 _Why couldn't Rey try to kiss me instead? That might bring me back..._

 ** _KR: Like that's ever going to happen..._**

The crew and Chewie grow instantly more worried when there is no reaction from Ben, while his own father just shakes his head, as if this is daily occurrence. "No, he just so happens to escape into his head, when he's in great trouble or can't handle what's happening around him. Clearly, he hasn't gotten rid of that bad habit." He sighs, probably over the fact that he owns such a high maintenance son or that he has no clue how to handle him today.

"A panic attack?" asks Rey and stares at Ben, as if she is trying to see through him.

"A meltdown?" asks Finn and looks a Poe, who shrugs and BB-8 mimics that gesture.

 _"Most likely..."_ growls Chewie.

"Something like that, but the only way is to never stop trying to reach him. Don't leave him alone." His father walks towards the sofa, where frozen Ben sits and even though Ben doesn't make the slightest move, his mind is going further and further away...into the dark.

 _Leave alone...you mean like you did for twenty years! And it's not a panic attack or a meltdown! But an never ending fight against the darkside! Far, far worse! And I am not letting it win again! But...I need help...help me dad...help me defeat it..._

 _ **KR: I'm not doing anything...stop blaming me! You are the one using silent treatment!**_

 _I don't know how to come back..._

 _ **KR: You are such an idiot! Just go back to the darkside already!**_

 _Never...help dad, help..._

His father sits next to him and looks closely at him. "Why did you freeze when you entered the Falcon..." He closes his eyes in pain, as if he's remembering something painful. "Because I didn't bring you home...it must have reminded you of that...my poor kid." He wraps his arms around him, rubs his back and soothes him, like when he was a little child and Ben hates to admit that this childish treatment, does help him feel a little better...at least it beats his father endlessly shouting at him.

 _I didn't need a reminder for that...I never forgot about...being abandoned..._

 _ **KR: And you can't shut up about it...you don't see Rey wailing about it all the time...**_

 _Well..she hasn't got her family back yet...so she can't complain...to them..._

 ** _KR: Touché..._**

* * *

His father stops when he notices all the stares, clears his throat and lets go of him, like he doesn't want the others to witness this intimate family moment, even though they have already witnessed a lot.

"But that doesn't matter now. You haven't answered my question. Is it true...did you do this?" His father scolds him as if he had just stolen some cookies and even though he doesn't look as mad as when he first got the darkside news from Poe, his father's careless words sends a sting in Ben's already broken heart, who wanted to be comforted and cuddled way longer.

 _Doesn't matter...?! Most of my childhood revolved around it...waiting for you to come and get me back..._

Ben remembers all too well how he felt most of the days in the academy, miserable despite the sunny weather there and so homesick that he wanted to...just die to get rid of the pain...

 _ **KR: Dramaqueen...**_

 _You're one to talk!_

 _ **KR: I'm a drama-prince not a queen...or maybe rather a drama-king...drama is good for darkside...you know...**_

 _Just shut up for a minute..._

During his endless stay there, Ben had often imagined scenarios, where his father would out of the blue appear with the Falcon and bring him home from that place and later from the First Order...

* * *

"Ben, that was the past. This is now. I already told you it wasn't my fault...not technically..." interrupts his father his line of thought, as if he knew what he was thinking.

"Whose fault was it then?" asks Rey as firmly as if that would be the same answer as to why she was abandoned on Jakku. She crosses her arms and glares at Ben's father and since that stance reminds him way too much of his wife, he turns away from her gaze.

"It's...complicated...but please, Ben we need to have this discussion...this is very important." He tries to reach his son again, who is fuming inside.

 _I think it's far more important to know...WHO told you to just LEAVE ME THERE! If it was not your fault then whose?! Why didn't you get me back? If you had I would never have turned to the darkside and we wouldn't even be in this mess in the first place! Why didn't you come?! I need to know! I HAVE TO KNOW!_

 ** _KR: You might have the answers already..._**

 _What do you...agh...!_

Ben grabs his head when excruciating pain shots through it. His vision gets hazy and the cockpit that prior to this had been so spacious, suddenly feel as cramped as a broom close

"Ben, what's wrong?" asks his father and Rey and Chewie look awfully worried, but that is nothing to compared to Finn, who gets scared.

"Darkside?" Finn gulps as if Ben was about to transform right in front of them, Poe grabs his blaster in case, BB-8 chirps something angrily at Ben, that sounds like: _"Oh no you don't!"_

"It better not be, Ben, Ben do you hear me?" yells his father at him and shakes him lightly, as if that would bring him back.

However nothing can bring him back as he's far too gone into his head, not even Rey can do that, who stares so intently at him, like she's trying to enter his mind, while his own, broken one, takes him into a memory...many years ago...

* * *

 _Where am I? Am inside my own head? I can do that now?_

 ** _KR: I guess..._**

 _I wonder if Rey is here as well..._

 ** _KR: Why would she? Do you even know where we are?_**

 _I know this place... way too well..._

 ** _KR: Ugh...this place...I thought I burned it down..._**

 _This is the past...I don't sense Rey's presence. We seem to be alone here...that's sucks..._

 ** _KR: Terrific..._**

* * *

Ben watches his ten year old self, climb out his chamber window in the Jedi Academy and jump into the dark night with a duffel bag slung over his shoulder. This time he was going to run away, but if Ben remember correctly he had left a little go-away present for his uncle and wanted to be as far away as possible when he would wake up and discover what he done to the academy...

 _Why do I have to remember this? Like am not feeling miserable enough! Though the prank was somewhat funny...however the consequences when uncle caught me were not!_

 _ **KR : Are you sure he was the one who caught you?**_

 _Of course who else? Luke seemed to have some homing beacon on me, as I remember never getting too far away when I tried to flee..._

 ** _KR: I should've put a homing beacon on Luke...than I wouldn't have needed the map and you would never have awakened!_**

 _Quiet, I think...I hear something...but that can't be...that's not possible...this is a memory...right?_

 ** _KR: How should I know?_**

 _Didn't you tell me that I had the answers already?_

 ** _KR: I meant what Luke said...I have no idea what this is..._**

 _Luke?_

* * *

 _Little Ben, who had not gotten to far away from the academy, reacted in shock, when he heard what is one of the most recognisable sound in the whole galaxy, roaring in the sky. He couldn't believe his own ears. It was the sound he had been imagining and dreaming about for the past months, as he lay wide awake in his chambers and wishing so desperately that he was back home instead of light years away from it._

* * *

 _I seriously don't remember this...Kylo are you making this up?!_

 _ **KR: Me...!? If had my way I would be imagining some cool darkside adventure with grandpa, not something so...emotionally devastating as this...I mean giving you hope just to take it away...**_

 _I thought you wanted me to be miserable..._

 _ **KR: Not always...I'm not a prick...you are often your worst enemy you know...and besides it would be far more wiser to focus on the bad situation at hand...instead of bleak flashback...just a waste of time, you can't change the past...you know!**_

 _You are right...why am I wasting time like this...? It will only make me more miserable, nothing is going to change...I was probably just mishearing...in my memory..._

 ** _KR: Sounds like something you would do..._**

 _Even though little Ben knew that sound by heart, he didn't want to get his hope up only to be disappointed, so braced himself and ran straight along over the grassy field...far into the night..._

" _Ben! What are you doing out of bed?!"_

 _Ben (the little one), startled turns around and his mouth drops at what he sees. "Daaaad!"_

* * *

 _Wha...I don't remember dad ever having visited me in the academy..._

 _ **KR: So are you imagining something new...happening in a flashback? This is a WHAT IF world? We don't time for nonsense like that!**_

 _I am not doing anything..in fact I am trying to get away from it...but the memory...just keeps going for some reason...like it's trying to tell me something...something feels familiar...but that's impossible...that never happened...Luke told me this never happened..._

* * *

" _Are you real? This is not a dream?" Ben whispered as his father came closer to him, as if he was afraid that speaking too loud would make him disappear into the dark._

 _His father grinned. "Of course, I am real. Come here, my little bandit." Before Ben could move a muscle, his father had snatched him up from the ground, hugged him tightly and kissed him repeatedly on the head._

" _DAD, STOP! I'm too old for this!" Ben tried to push him away, in the same manner a cat would, that doesn't want to be hugged._

 _ **KR: Little bandit?**_

 _My old nickname._

 _ **KR: Your family is so weird...**_

 _Hey, I am the only who is allowed to say that!_

" _You are never too old to be loved...or cuddled. It's from your mom as well," said his father seriously, smiled and continued smothering him with hugs and kisses._

 _ **KR: Ugh...**_

 _I am sure glad Rey isn't here to see this..._

* * *

 _Little Ben groaned and allowed his father to cuddle him a little bit longer._

" _I thought I would never see you again..." muttered his father suddenly and Ben was shocked to hear the sadness in his voice...as if he meant each word, though Ben wasn't sure why his father would think that._

" _You didn't need to worry...I was on my way home...sorta..." said Ben and shrugged, like he had not been dying of homesickness few minutes ago and was bursting from happiness now._

 _His father put him on the ground and eyed him suspiciously._ _"What do you mean?"_

" _Where is Chewie?" asked Ben, to end the interrogation before it started for real._

" _I told him to wait in the Falcon while..." began his father, but stopped when Ben jumped back, white in face as if he had seen a ghost._

" _What is it, kid?" asked his father worried, looked over his shoulder and when he saw nothing, gazed at Ben questionably._

" _Have you forgiven me for stealing the Falcon?" asked Ben pleadingly and his father reacted in shock, like he had been punched in the face by that question alone._

* * *

 _He send me away...because of that?!_

 _ **KR: Ah, so that's why he called you a little bandit...because you tried to steal the Falcon.**_

 _No, the nickname was given to me when I was in my mother's womb._

 _ **KR: I will never understand this family...**_

 _Me neither..._

* * *

 _His father closed his eyes, rubbed his face and muttered. "Please don't tell me, that is what you have been thinking this whole time...that's...horrible..." His father opened his eyes, Ben stiffened, but the only thing he did was kneeling on the ground next to him and embracing him tightly, as if he was asking for his forgiveness._

" _So you have forgiven me?" asked Ben, when his father said nothing, as he still wasn't clear what the answer was._

 _His father let go of him and lifted his chin. "There is nothing to forgive...would I really call you my little bandit, if were against you stealing things...?" He smirked and flicked his nose teasingly._

" _I guess not..." said Ben with hesitation as he wasn't sure what the right answer was._

 _ **KR: Great parenting...**_

 _Mom did most of that...or well the strict..est part.._

" _But, what would mom say?" asked Ben worried, as he could already her yelling that this was wrong._

" _She..." His father stiffened and shivered as if Leia had suddenly appeared there and was glaring at him for teaching their son, the wrong things. "What am I saying...don't tell your mom what I said! You are her little angel...of course I am against it...especially if it's our things. You can just ask for them. No need to steal them...or anything!"_

* * *

 _Phew...he didn't send me away because of that..._

 _ **KR: Then why did you think that?**_

 _What do you mean?_

 _ **KR: How can you be so sure...that he is telling the truth? Just the fact that you thought that was the reason speaks volumes...maybe that is what this fake memory is trying to tell you...**_

 _Why would the memory tell me that? Why does that matter?_

 _ **KR: Because it means that the ship matters more to him, than you...that's why he never brought you back...**_

 _But..he came back for me..._

 _ **KR: This is just your imagination, not a real memory...just something you wished had happened...to take away the pain...of rejection...**_

 _Shut up and allow me to watch this...memory...dream or whatever this is..._

* * *

" _Okay...but you were so mad at me...you all were..." Ben hugged himself, as if he had become cold just by remembering that time._

" _That was because you tried to run away. We were frightened...don't do that again." scolded his father him and gave him a one arm hug, so he didn't need to hug himself._

" _But I did it so you would stop leave mom...and me..." He looked pleadingly into his father's eyes._

 _His father sighed. "I'm sorry you felt that way, it still does not makes it any better." He petted his head, but Ben batted the hand away._

" _And you send me away! How can I run away if I am not even at home...is that why you send me away...so I couldn't run away?!" Ben stomped his little feet and his father shook his head and picked him easily up from the ground to stop his pointless stomping, like he weight nothing more than bag of jonga fruits, even though his eleventh birthday was getting closer each day..._

 _His father put him over his shoulder and rubbed his back to stop his tantrum, like he had done when he was a smaller child._ " _Calm down. Breathe." And waited for Ben to calm a little bit down, before he continued._ " _No, kid that's just ridiculous. Truth be told...I didn't even want to send you away..." he whispered the last bit, but Ben heard every word like he had shouted it._

" _You didn't...?" asked Ben and all his anger deflated instantly, despite the fact that he was being manhandled like a toddler._

" _No, I was tricked,_ _" said his father in a grave voice._

" _Tricked?" Ben raised him up and looked shocked at his father._

" _Yes," said his father firmly as if that one word would explain everything._

* * *

 _ **KR: Yeah right, like Luke had just kidnapped you in front of his nose...didn't he even say goodbye to you when you left?**_

 _Of course he did...I think...wasn't he present in the tearful farewell...not that he cried...he was there...wasn't he? Was he away when that happened? I don't understand why he is saying these things..._

" _But why am I here then...if it's not a punishment?" asked Ben and looked over his father's shoulder, at the place, which had been his home for the past months. There was no movement in the Academy. Luke and the other padawans seemed to be still fast asleep, but Ben knew it would only be matter of time before his uncle woke up. He was never really fast asleep..._

" _You were not send away as a punishment...your mom...we would never do that. It was to...help you," said his father softly._

 _Was mom the only one who wanted to send me away?_

 _ **KR: I think he doesn't want to take responsibility for his actions...like someone I know...very well...**_

* * *

" _Help me...how?" asked Ben and looked around, as if he was looking for clues, but only saw the grassy fields and the Falcon in the far distance._

" _To get rid of the darkside. It's dangerous for you...and the galaxy," his father looked gravely at him like he had a deadly flu and had been in quarantine._

 _ **KR: Boring, why can't you just fast forward to the YOUR happy ending, not mine in this WHATI F world, where you just go home and become a stupid smuggler, senator or something, then we go back to more important stuff like getting map and such.**_

 _I can't fast forward, I just told you I can't control this!_

* * *

" _I don't have a darkside! I just want to go home...oh, oo, am I in trouble for what I did to uncle's academy?" asked Ben anxiously._

 _His father lifted him up and held him in front of him._ " _I haven't heard anything about that..." He frowned at him sternly._

" _Oops..." Ben covered his mouth for letting it slip out._

 _ **KR: Always a blabbermouth...even in your pretend memory...**_

" _It's doesn't matter...why are you here?" asked Ben quickly and hoped that would divert his father's attention. "Can you please put me down?" He looked hopefully at the ground, as this was not the safest place to be if his father was angry with him._

 _"You don't like being in the air?" asked his father teasingly and lifted him higher up. "Aren't you the son of a pilot?"_

 _"Yeah, but this childish...being held like this...I mean..." Ben scrambled to get his feet back on the ground._

 _"Okay, kid." His father smiled and put him down._

 _"Why are you here then?" asked Ben again, when he at last had gotten solid ground under his feet again._

" _To take you home...why else would I be here?" asked his father teasingly._

" _So I am not in trouble?"_

 _His father narrowed his eyes at him and shook a finger at him. "Whatever you did, don't do it again."_

" _Okay, I won't...not if I am leaving!" Ben jumped with joy. "Does that mean that I can finally go home? You are not just visiting...?"_

 _His father scoffed._ " _Visiting? I don't want you to be a Jedi, kid."_

" _I don't want to be a Jedi. I want to be a smuggler."_

* * *

 _ **KR: Sigh...**_

 _What? It's true..._

 _ **KR: You should have said I want to a Sith...or dark Jedi...**_

 _I doubt my father would've liked that..._

 _ **KR: He's never happy with your choices anyway...**_

 _He is now...I mean in the memory...not so sure about the reality..._

 ** _KR: He was happy with you turning to the lightside.._**

 _That is true..._

 ** _KR: Until you started ruining it with the cool darkside stuff..._**

 _Also true...cool?_

* * *

 _His father smiled. "That's my boy, now pack your things..." he didn't get any further as Ben plumbed on the ground the duffel bag from his back and said smug:"I've already packed."_

 _His father smirked. "A quick getaway, aye? Wait..." His smirk suddenly vanished and he looked as if he was calculating in his head. why is son was really out of bed in the dark and with a traveling bag._

 _"Were you trying to run away...?" he asked as if he already knew the answer._

 _Ben tensed up when he saw his old time glower appear and he instinctively backed away from his rage, knowing full well how much his father hated it when he tried to run away.  
_

" _Maybe..." Ben didn't get far, as his father pulled him back...on his ear._

 _"Owie! What was that for!" Ben rubbed his earlobe and looked hurt at his father when he at last released him, where he wanted to have him, by his side._

" _You know what! I am sure glad I caught you in time and stopped this foolishness. Do you have any idea how it would have made your mom feel...or me..and your uncle?" rebuked his father him and shook a finger sternly at him._

" _Uncle? He wants to get rid off...I mean I'm sorry...I didn't think..." Ben hung his head in shame and his father ruffled his hair._

" _It's okay, a_ _s long as you are sorry. We would never leave you here, kid...and your uncle does care a lot about you. He just has a...funny way..weird way..." His father scrambled to find the right words all the while Ben grew more skeptical._

 _"What I mean is that he cares about you. He just doesn't know how to best show it...kind of like yourself."_ _His father looked hopefully at him, as if he had finally gotten through to him and_ _Ben sighed and muttered: "I guess... I care about him too..."_

 ** _KR: Yeah right..._**

 _Ben's answer earned him another pat on the head._

 _"Good boy. We better say goodbye to him then..." His father swiftly grabbed Ben's bag from the ground and took Ben's hand in the other, as they went to look for his uncle, but_ _Ben suddenly tensed up when he remembered his go-away present._

 _He pulled his father back and pleaded:"Can't we not just you know...go?"_

" _BEEEN! Where is that little troublemaker?!" thundered his uncle._

* * *

 _ **KR: Why couldn't you skip having your stupid uncle in this WHAT IF world and just you go to the part where your dad brought back home? Seriously, you can't even control your own fairy tail world...**_

 _I don't want this! I can't control...anything...I don't understand anything...I don't remember any of this...and yet I do remember...but it didn't happen..._

* * *

 _His father sighed and looked at the culprit by his side. "What did you do...this time?"_

" _Nothing...please can we just go? We can leave note..." Ben pulled his father's hand desperately and tried to drag him to the Falcon, which seemed like it was light years away all of a sudden. It was like he was afraid that Luke would find some bullet proof excuse to keep him there indefinitely, despite the fact that is should be the opposite, Luke should want to get rid of him forever after his latest stunt...he knew what it was...a bad feeling...a very bad feeling. And those feelings always came true...  
_

" _Hmm...I wish we could...nope I'm afraid that's no longer an option..." said his father when they saw fuming Luke emerge and Ben jumped for cover behind his father's back._

" _What are you doing here? You seriously want him to turn into another Vader?" Ben could hear the accusation in his uncle's voice._

" _Of course not!" shouted his father and little Ben could feel both his fear and anger so vividly in the force._

* * *

 _Huh...how could dad visiting me or even bring me back home turn me into Vader? This makes no sense...not that uncle always made sense, but I knew it! Nothing makes sense! This cute...erm...stupid memory is false!_

 _ **KR: If only it was that easy...to turn into Vader junior...I mean not even wearing a black helmet and cape and having a cool lightsaber was enough...**_

 _Technically uncle is Vader junior..._

 _ **KR: Don't remind me of that travesty!**_

 _Search your feelings you know it to be true..._

 _ **KR: NOOOOO!**_

 _All too easy..._

 _ **KR: Oh yeah...how about exiting this stupid false memory and focus on the present?**_

 _No...I want to see what happens next...even though it just a lie...you know I am not too keen on facing the reality right now..._

 _ **KR: Have fun living in dream world then...**_

* * *

" _He's my sweet little boy. He's not turning. Are you?" His father turned back to him, lifted him high into the air and frowned at Ben, as if he was inspecting him in the moonlight._

" _Of course not...turning where?" replied Ben innocently, but his father's expression darkened._

 _He put him down and grabbed his shoulders firmly, as if he was afraid that he was trying to get away from him._ " _Don't turn into a mini Vader."_

" _Why would I do that? What are you talking about?" asked Ben and looked between his father and uncle and hoped that they would drop their serious gazes and starts to laugh instead, like it was some prank on his expense._

 _When that didn't happen, Ben grew very afraid._

* * *

 _ **KR: Here would have been a perfect opportunity for them to tell you that awesome Vader was our grandfather...I mean mine.**_

 _I thought the memory was false..._

 _ **KR: Oh, right...stupid memory...but they could've told you about Vader anyway...**_

 _Yeah, they should've..._

* * *

" _He's sweet and innocent now..." his uncle voice trailed off dramatically and he added after dramatic pause. "Just like Vader was...as child."_

 _ **KR: How dare he! Vader was never sweet and innocent! That was just stupid whiny...podracing, though podracing is kind of cool...Anakin!**_

" _Hey, don't interrupt my memory! But, how do you know Anakin was whiny?"_

 _ **KR: Vader told me.**_

 _You can talk to him?!_

 _ **KR: Of course, why do you think I had the helmet...but with no helmet, I can't contact grandfather!**_

 _So you lost his number..._

 _ **KR: Shut up. Not funny!**_

 _No, you shut up, stop interrupting my memory!_

 _ **KR: I thought I told you it was false...**_

 _Yes...but maybe there is some truth in it..._

 _ **KR: I highly doubt it...**_

* * *

" _He's nothing like Vader...except he dresses like him sometimes. You have to stop that," said his father sternly and Ben nodded in agreement._

" _Okay dad."_

 _ **KR: NO WAY!**_

 _It's my choice..._

" _As if that would be enough...besides your boy is hardly sweet or innocent, do you have any idea what he did to my academy?" His uncle crossed his arms and levelled Ben with an icy glare identical to the his mother's, you are in so much trouble now, that made him run once more for cover behind his father's back._

" _That was Kylo," said Ben after he had run into hiding and didn't have to face his uncle._

" _No, that was you Ben," said his uncle, in his stop this nonsense voice Ben hates so much, so he peered from behind his father's back and shouted. "It was Kylo! If I can't call you uncle, you can't call me Ben!" He stuck his tongue at him and went straight back to hiding._

* * *

 _Kylo? Well, that does it this is fake. You didn't exist back then._

 _ **KR: Yeah...yeah...tell yourself that...I told you that you always blamed me...even in your fake world...**_

 _Do not..._

* * *

" _Do you see what I have to deal with?" asked his uncle in a tired and pleading voice and his father who had so far only watch their feud from the sidelines said:"Actually...I see his point.."_

 _Ben could feel Luke's glare on them, the one identical to his mother, so his father cleared his throat and added:"Uhumm...what did he do?"_

" _This." His uncle showed his father the evidence of his crime and even though Ben knew what it was, he couldn't resist checking his handy-work._

 _He peeked from behind his father's back and saw the Jedi robe, that he had drenched in black paint instead of cleaning it as instructed. He checked for his father's reaction and when he saw his lip twitch like he couldn't keep from laughing, he could't help burst out laughing himself, followed soon by his father's laugh._

 _ **KR: Well, this is brilliant! The look on Luke's face...almost as good as when I burned the academy down!**_

 _Erm...this was funny...I at least remember having done this..._

" _This is not funny young man. Don't laugh, Han! You will only encourage him. I will have you know that each and every padawan robe is like this. Where did you even get black paint?!"_

 _"I made it...by mixing all the colours together. Black is made that way," said Ben cheekily._

* * *

 ** _KR: That's why the darkside rocks!_**

 _No darkside...is just darkness..._

 _ **KR: Without darkness...there is no light...**_

 _ **Good point...**_

* * *

 _"He has a point...but Ben this wasn't nice," scolds his father him._

 _"Sorry dad," Ben grins victoriously behind his hands, for getting of this easily._

 _His uncle looks at them disbelievingly. "Nice...he_ _will scrub each and every one of those clean...without using the force!" He threw the black robe on the ground as if he wanted Ben to start right away, who_ _turned immediately to his father for help. "What! No! Dad! Kylo was the one who did it!"_

 _ **KR: Well, there's your truth...Luke acting like a prick like always...and you blaming me...**_

 _I don't like where this is heading..._

" _I will pay for those," said his father in his no argument voice and took up his wallet, yet his uncle objected by taking his arm and saying:"That won't teach him anything."_

 _His father shrugged. "I know, but we are in a hurry. He will pay for it later...when his mom finds out."_

 _He looked at Ben behind him, whose face drained with colour and he wanted to sink into the ground and hide, but instead he jumped from his hiding place and pleaded:_ " _No, don't tell her! I just did this, so uncle would be forced to send me away...I didn't know you were coming! I'm sorry!" He grabbed his father's sleeve in desperation who half-smiled and petted his head._

" _Don't worry, kid. Your secret is safe with me...we are both in trouble anyway," he added the last part sadly._

" _Trouble...?" Ben looked at his uncle as if he would know why his father was in trouble with his mother for being here._

 _His uncle crossed his arms, shook his head and frowned at Ben._ " _Ah...so that's why you have been acting out like that...but I would never have send you away. You can't leave now...and your dad knows it." He got such a dark look in his eyes, that Ben shivered, like he had been dropped into a tank full of ice water and moved closer to his father to get some warmth into his little body._

 _ **KR: Wow...that's spooky...even I am a little afraid of stupid Luke there...**_

 _What in the...is uncle blabbering about...?_

* * *

 _Next up: The dark lies of the past..._


	17. The darkside awakens

_Thank you so much for the support! You guys rock! So sorry for the delay, I have been going through some tough stuff in RL, but it always helps to write to escape reality (especially Star Wars!)...although Ben is at this point in the story dealing with some heavy stuff...but it gets better, I promise...he has to dig deep in order to heal himself...(speaking from personal experience)..._

 _Too bad that Kylo is his therapist...!_

 _I had to split this...very long chapter in four (this is the second part) so hopefully the next part won't be too far behind..._

* * *

Chapter seventeen - The darkside awakens

" _What you do you mean by I can't leave? Never...dad..what does he mean?" Little Ben looked pleadingly at his father by his side, who stared furiously at Luke and his only answer was petting him on the head to calm him down, while the two men were locked in some strange staring contest in the great green vastness bathed in the cold moonlight._

 _The only thing to break the tension, was it started raining all of a sudden and as the raindrops kept dripping into their eyes, they had to forfeit the competition. His father was to Ben's disappointment, the first to lose as the Jedi master seemed to be able to stare into each of their souls, without blinking an eye._

 _However, despite being the staring contest champion, his uncle was the first one to speak and he asked kind of mockingly, as if he already had checked out the answer with the force:_ " _Leia doesn't know you are here?"_

" _Of course she knows." His father scoffed and his uncle narrowed his eyes and asked again, like he was asking a little child:"Let me rephrase that...did she allow you to come here?"_

" _Why would I need her permission?" His father shrugged, but broke down under the Jedi master's harsh glare and admitted in a small voice, which resembled way too much when Ben had to admit he had done something wrong:_ " _No...in fact she...kind of...forbid it..."_

 _His uncle shook his head sternly._ " _Then you are in big trouble."_

" _No...okay maybe..but she want this...honestly..." his father pulled little Ben closer to him, who was getting soaking wet in the rain and hoped it would soon clear out, that the dark clouds would disappear from the sky...and his soul._

* * *

 _Definitely a fake memory, dad would never dare to go behind mom's back...to get me back...wait...why wouldn't mom want me...back?_

 _ **KR: You know why...**_

 _No why...?_

 _ **KR: Darkside bla bla...you know...**_

 _NO, I DON'T KNOW!_

* * *

" _Dad, what does he mean? I can't go home?" asked little Ben again, this time hoping for a verbal answer and his patience was rewarded with another petting on the head, this time dripping wet and an answer._ " _Of course you can...stop scaring my kid."_

 _His father scowled at his uncle, who only snorted. "Like you are one to talk."_

" _What are you insinuating? Ben, are you afraid of me?" His father turned startled to Ben._

* * *

 _Afraid?_

 _ **KR: I would say someone who tried to kill his father with poisonous gas, went hiding and disguised himself and used a fake identity, must be somewhat afraid of his dad...**_

 _I was not afraid...just lost...I think...but that makes sense, I had just recently come back to the lightside...but I don't understand, why I would be there...I hadn't done anything wrong...or well...no more wrong than usual..._

* * *

" _No." Ben moved closer to his father and glared at his uncle, as if he wanted to hit him hard over head with his toy saber, which was packed deep in his bag, for even implying it._

 _His father exhaled relieved, as he had no idea about his son's violent thoughts. "See...he belongs with me...my kid." He pointed at himself and gave Ben more wet petting on the head._

* * *

 _Phew, Luke was just wrong as always...such a bad teacher..._

 _ **KR: No...**_

 _No?_

 _ **KR: I mean of course he is a bad teacher, that's why I got another...two actually...but I think he meant something else...**_

 _What?_

* * *

 _His uncle sighed and shook his head tiredly, as if he was dealing with two dunces. "That's not what I meant. Your son thought you hated him!" He pointed at Ben by his father's side, as if his father wouldn't know who he was talking about otherwise, even though he only had one kid and Ben stiffened._

" _What, why did you think that?" asked his father in shock._

* * *

 _Yeah...why did I think that?_

 _ **KR: When didn't you think that?**_

 _What do you mean?_

 _ **KR: Search your feelings, you know it to be true...**_

 _Is that your only line?_

 _ **KR: It's my favorite line by gramps...along with impressive, most impressive...and...**_

 _All his other lines?_

 _ **KR: Yeah...but you have used it as well.**_

 _True, it is a good line...but what am I saying, we can't stay here forever! You are just messing with me again!_

 _ **KR: I was thinking, what if this is fact the past? Just in another world, timeline or something. And we could just kill Luke here and finish the last Jedi! In fact, it's a win, win because then he couldn't keep you here and...**_

 _And you would never have awakened, meaning this could never have happened..._

 _ **Oh...time paradox...**_

 _Yeb, and besides, I thought this was a fake memory...or a dream..._

 _ **I have no idea anymore...we better see what happens next...**_

 _I guess..._

 ** _KR: It's the only way..._**

* * *

 _I d_ _on't want to talk about it...can we not just...go?" pleaded little Ben, as he had no longing to remember those painful feelings, that had been washed away the minute his father came to pick him up. Why was his stupid uncle forcing him to recall it?! And why didn't this stupid rain stop! He was cold, wet and now angry. He hated even more being there, now with every fiber of his being._

* * *

 _ **KR: Nice, you're really embracing the darkside there!**_

 _It very easy when you are freezing cold in a rain...far away from home...from mom's warm embrace...and..._

 _ **KR: Actually, I like rain, it's so dramatic and cool! And symbolic and it washes away the blood of your enemies so easily that you don't even need to wash your clothes or helmet...I hate washing you know!**_

 _I don't need more of your commentary..._

 _ **KR: You are no fun...**_

* * *

" _Ben, you need to let it out," said his uncle, who instantly picked up on his negative emotions and added in a softer voice: "This is one of the reasons you nearly went to the darkside, remember...?"_

* * *

 _What? I don't understand..._

 _ **KR: Be quiet and listen then...**_

 _Are you shutting me up...?!_

 _ **KR: Sush!**_

* * *

" _Ben...is this true?" asked his father in a hollow voice, as if he was seeing his true self for the first time._

 _Ben sighed, as he knew there was no way around this, since his stupid uncle had to bring it up, but he had to do something about the cold, so he picked up his hand painted black robe from the wet grass, winded it and put it on._

" _Fine...you didn't talk to me...I thought you had given up on me..." Ben suddenly had great trouble continuing, as contrary to his plan of putting on an overcoat to get warm in the rain, he grew even colder and not just his body but his soul as well._

 _He shivered and his lower lip started to tremble._

 _He_ _took a deep breath, though it felt painful to breathe as his chest felt so constricted, when all the hurt from back then was brought back "...and then you just went away...without even saying goodbye...and then you send me away...I was sure you hated..." His eyes filled with unstoppable tears and just his luck, it stopped raining so he had no way to conceal them or could lie that it was just raining on his face._

 _He hated himself for appearing so weak in front of them, the mighty heroes of the rebellion, but mostly Luke for forcing him to go through with it._

 _The two heroes had so far only watched him with pained looks, even allowing him to dress into a soaking wet clothing instead of finding something warm for him or better yet just take_ _him inside for shelter, as they waited for him to finish, but when he couldn't continue because of his crying and cold, h_ _is father wrapped his big arms around his black shaking frame and rubbed his small back soothingly. "Sush, my boy, no need to cry. You are stronger than this. Take a deep breath and start over. You can do it. I'm here with you..."_

* * *

 _ **KR: Crybaby...**_

 _You're just a Vader copycat..and I'm just a kid there...why so evil?_

 _ **KR: Duh, I'm evil...most of the time...and you made fun of my commentary!**_

 _I did not make fun of it. I just told you to stop!_

 _ **KR: Oh...wait I don't like that either! That's why I told you to stop!**_

 _Stop ruining the mood! I think we are getting some important information here..._

 _ **KR: You are learning about yourself...? I thought you hated schoolwork...?**_

 _I need to know this stuff...in order to continue..._

 _ **KR: Being stupid?**_

 _Being me..._

 _ **KR: That's a bad idea...why not be me instead? I am much cooler...**_

 _IF you ever want to get out of here...please just shut up!_

 _ **KR: Okay...we should have brought popcorn...**_

 _Why?_

 _ **KR: It's not like we can interfere. The only thing we can do is just watch right?**_

 _True...so how about doing that!_

 _ **KR: But this kid is so boring...**_

 _This kid is...was you and me..._

 _ **KR: Mostly you...hey is he doing what I think he is doing...?!**_

 _Oh...no..._

* * *

 _His father's consolation had the total opposite effect on him, as he grew furious and in_ _his anger he force pushed him far away, shocking both him and his uncle with his mighty powers beyond his age, even though his uncle was still standing and looked between him and his father, unsure how to act._

* * *

 _ **KR: Nice force push! I give it...ten out of ten! Now choke him!**_

 _No._

 _ **KR: Why not?**_

 _First of all, it's wrong and second of all, I can't control this and third and I don't want to._

 _ **KR: I wasn't talking to you! I was talking to mini you...or well me! He's actually doing some pretty cool stuff! And better yet darkside related! I like him! I mean mini me!**_

 _Now you like him? I seriously hope mini me..or us...won't do anything worse than this...and I thought force push was lightside too?_

 _ **KR: Details, details...**_

* * *

" _Yeah, I'm stronger. Far stronger than any of you! Why did you send me away...? No...how could you?! Do you have any idea how it made me feel? You ignored me completely and then you just got rid of me! Like you didn't care!" yelled mini Ben and pointed accusingly at his father who clambered to his feet and stared stunned at the little frame, who had become so powerful in his absence._

 _Ben snatched his toy saber from the bag, a red one with a cross and pointed it threateningly at his father._ _"Like I was just some...garbage!"_

* * *

 _ **KR: Bit emo...but I guess that helps the darkside...sometimes...this is so your kid not mine!**_

 _You are such an idiot..._

* * *

" _Ben, control your emotions," rebuked his uncle him in the same manner as if he was talking to a trained animal who had become wild again, despite being the one who had made him open himself up like that and seemed to be regretting that decision tremendously, as he carefully made his way over to him, even though he was only armed with a toy saber not a real one._

* * *

 _ **KR: See, your uncle agrees with me. You are too emo.**_

 _Shut up._

* * *

" _I will handle this," said his father, as he managed to rise to his feet and stopped his uncle from reaching his boy by putting his hand in front of him._

 _"He could be dangerous," said his uncle, like he was thinking of turning on his saber just in case._

 _"I don't care." said his father._

" _He's my padawan," said his uncle as if that meant he was his responsibility and his father retorted with:_ " _He's my son."_

 _He took a handkerchief from his pocket and sauntered over to his still fuming son._ _"Listen, good. First of all. I did not send you away. I was away at that time, remember?"_

* * *

 _That can't be right...mom said..._

 ** _KR: Did your mom lie...? No way, your perfect mom...that just so happened to have also lied about Darth Vader!_**

 _I don't care about Darth Vader..._

 ** _KR: Take that back! And besides, how can you be so sure he's the one telling the truth...? Is any of this even true?_**

 _I don't know...I hope so...that would be nice..._

 ** _KR: Which means, that is most likely isn't..._**

 _Shut up..._

* * *

" _But mom said..." His father stopped him by putting a handkerchief on his nose and making him blow it._

 _Your mother did it, without consulting me," said his father and put the used handkerchief back into his pocket._

" _Mom?" asked Ben stunned and his father nodded._

" _Yes, she and your uncle conspired behind my back," growled his father, in a similar way to Chewie and asked for his saber with his hand. "Here, let me keep it for you. You could hurt yourself. I have a new toy for you, remind me to give it to you later."_

 _He took away the toy saber and put it safely back in the bag._

 _"A new toy?" asked Ben breathlessly and his father nodded, disrobed him and threw the black, wet robe on the ground with disgust._

 _"Let's get you out of these clothes and into something warmer. There must be something in here...I don't believe your mom wouldn't pack outdoor clothes...I would have..." His father found a towel in the bag and threw it to Ben, who started toweling his head with a sad expression as he wanted his father to do it, but his father was busy trying to find better clothes for him._

 _Luke crossed over to them, now that Ben was considerably calmer and helped him drying his hair._

" _She couldn't contact you, something had to be done and quick...and it was your fault anyway," said his uncle defensively._

 _His father turned to him sharply and his firm jaw and fierce expression were enough to make the Jedi master back in fear._ " _My fault? I don't talk to my kid in a week, and suddenly everyone thinks I disowned him!"_

 _His uncle stopped toweling Ben's head. "It was a month...which feels like a year to a ten year old, right Ben?" He took the used towel away from Ben, who_ _nodded sadly to confirm that._

 _His father sighed, as he kept looking for some warmer clothes deep in the bag._ " _I'm so sorry son...the mission took much longer time to complete than I thought...but I intended to talk to you the moment, when I returned, I didn't not expect to see you gone!" He threw the bag away in frustration when he didn't find what he was looking for._

" _Then why did you do it? Why did you ignore me...? Do you hate me...?" asked Ben and a single stray of a tear ran down his chin, as he was so afraid of knowing the truth. This was the question that had tormented him for months._

 _His father wiped away the tear. "I would never ever hate you. Don't ever think that..." He took off his jacket and put it over his shoulder. "I love you kid." He kissed him on the top of his head._

" _Then why...?" asked Ben, as the warmth of these words, the kiss and the warm jacket helped him ward off the cold that had clung so long to his body, mind and soul._

* * *

 _ **KR: Nooo! Go back to the darkside!**_

 _I went there...eventually...and what could I even have done as a darkside child? They...my family would have stopped me..._

 _ **KR: Don't underestimate the power of darkside children...they are little hellions...I think Snoke wanted me as a kid...**_

 _That's so creepy...!_

 _ **KR: Why? You have a sick, twisted and a dirty mind! No wonder your mind is such a mess...seriously dude...how dare you even think like that?!**_

 _It's still way too creepy...I mean I didn't even want to live with my uncle...I would never have wanted to live with some...strange...creepy old man..._

 _ **KR: No one asked you! Not everything is about you! And he is not creepy! He's very nice...for a darkside teacher...**_

 _You're the reason that my mind is the way it is! How about helping me clean it?_

 _ **KR: I hate cleaning...I already told you that...**_

 _Well, hate is good for the darkside..._

 _ **KR: Can't argue with that...though I hate hating things...**_

* * *

" _It was to teach you an important lesson kid...and to be honest, I had no idea how to address your latest stunt...you really scared me. So I decided to scare you straight...but, you were never meant to suffer this way, never. From here on, you will only get clear consequences and boundaries. I will not play any more games with you, understood? No more guessing games," said his father and cupped his cheek gently._

* * *

 _Let me get this straight...dad did not send me away...he didn't even punish me for stealing the Falcon...or well, clearly with some icy silence and temporary abandonment that nearly send me to the darkside...since I thought he had given up on me...and hated me...so mom was forced to send me away in training against the darkside...?_

 _ **KR: Remember this will all be on the test tomorrow...**_

 _What test?_

 _ **KR: The only test that matters, the darkside test. But be careful...your own mind can deceive**_ _ **you...not everything is as it seems...**_

 _You make no sense as usual..._

 _ **KR: No listen, the mind is a fickle thing...it can create stuff to fill in the blanks...in the gaps of what you need to know...or will never ever find out...**_

 _That actually makes sense..._

 _ **KR: Right?**_

 _I still don't understand what I am supposed to learn from all this?_

 _ **KR: You will see...you will see...**_

 _Why did you say that twice?_

 _ **KR: For a dramatic purpose...the supreme leader sometimes does that...as if being a hologram that sits on a throne in a dark room is not dramatic enough...oh, no he can never find out that I made fun of him! It would kill him!**_

 _Really? Better give mom that information then..._

 _ **KR: You wouldn't dare! And I didn't mean it literally...just that it would hurt him...it's not nice to bully him...**_

 _Your secret is safe with me..._

 _ **KR: Thanks...**_

 _As long as you can keep your mouth shut to the end of this flashback..._

 _ **KR: I don't like that extortion...but fine deal...**_

* * *

" _What lesson?" asked Ben innocently, making his uncle raising an eyebrow in disbelief while his own father gaped at him and asked: "You don't know what you did wrong?"_

 _Ben shrugged. "You said it was okay to steal..."  
_

" _I did not say that," his father quickly stopped him, before Luke had more time to judge his parenting skills, except glare at him in a Leia-like manner._

" _Okay...but that I owned the ship...so technically I wasn't stealing it..." said Ben carelessly, Luke facepalmed while his father nodded seriously and lectured him while he dressed him in his jacket, even though it was way too big on him: "Yeah...but the lesson was, don't run away and don't try to start a vehicle when you don't even know how to drive or fly...I will teach you properly how to fly...but that still means no running away." He zipped up the jacket and Ben felt trapped inside of it, but warm._

" _But I wasn't running away...I planned on taking the ship, leave it on some remote planet, so you couldn't find it and leave us and then I was going to hitchhike home...so you see I wasn't running away," Ben grinned victoriously, as if he had won a big legal argument, but his grin vanished when he saw the shocked look on his father and uncle, as they didn't seem to even have an imagination for his stupid plan._

* * *

 _ **KR: Kind of like how you did everything in your power to make sure your father would have a hard time finding the Falcon again...**_

 _I thought we had a deal..._

 _ **KR: Sorry! Forgot!**_

 _And I did not do that...I may have had moved it around a bit...payed some pirates to steal it...occasionally...when I heard dad was getting close to it...but that was a long time ago!_

 _ **KR: You haven't matured at all since that time...**_

 _Well, it pissed me off that he was looking for the ship instead of just...you know...bringing me home...but this memory confuses me...he never came to pick me up...from Luke...right?_

 _ **KR: He probably had his reason for not doing it...and this memory is to make up for why he didn't do it...**_

 _You think?_

 _ **KR: It's a good guess as anything...**_

* * *

 _His father shut his eyes and shook his head as if he had a hard time coming back to reality after hearing that ludicrous plan. "That's way, way, way worse."_

" _Why?" asked Ben and gulped when he his father glowered at him._

" _Why?! You could've been kidnapped, lost in space. I had no idea...I should ground you for a week for this!" His father made a grab for him, but thanks to his force reflexes Ben quickly hid behind his uncle, a temporary ally and his long sleeves made it look like he had wings, as he waved his hands frantically._

" _I was grounded...am grounded..." muttered Ben the last bit into his chest and felt like he looked a little bit foolish, like an oversized bird in his father's jacket._

" _This is not a grounding.." said his uncle hugely offended. "This is a training...against the darkside. A very important one." He moved Ben in front of him, as he had no wish to come between father and son, not after having had to deal with his own father-son drama. "Stop hiding and face what you have done." He pushed him roughly forward._

 _Ben glared at his uncle. "Mom and Chewie already took care of it..."_

* * *

 _Chewie?_

 ** _KR: I didn't know he had it in him...or well, it was the Falcon, makes sense..._**

 _True...I better not do anything to anger the Wookie..._

 ** _KR: Sound wise...which means you will do the opposite..._**

 _I hope not..._

* * *

 _"I know._ _You were not punished by me...not technically...but it's not fair to punish you for something that happened a month ago. You are not in trouble. Just don't do this again," said his father in a much softer voice and Ben breathed a little lighter that he was no longer in hot water._

 _"However you did plan on doing something similar tonight, trying to run away, probably planning on stealing a ship, become a stowaway or hitchhike...You are forbidden to put yourself in danger. I really should punish you for this..." said his father, deep in thought. "To make up for me not punishing you last time...I think...I don't want to confuse you again." He looked to his uncle for help, who wisely turned in another direction as he didn't want to get involved in this debate._

 _"No need. The only danger was getting caught..." Ben covered his mouth in fright and quickly corrected himself when he saw the furious expression on his father and stunned on his uncle._ _"I mean, I'm sorry...very sorry..."_

 _"You better be, no back talk," said his father sternly. "But I will let it go...this time...I mean the running away. Just stop doing it."_

* * *

 ** _KR:_ _H_** _ **ehe**_ ** _,_** _ **a** **good**_ ** _one...what are you doing right now?_**

 _I_ _did not_ _run_ _away..._

 ** _KR: You just escaped into your head._**

 _That's not the same!_

* * *

" _Sorry...okay...since it was all just a horrible misunderstanding...can we please go home now?" asked Ben, who had enough of his uncle dictating everything, who watched each of their interactions as if Ben was facing his trials and probably failing, judging from his stern expression, instead of just being reunited with his dad after a very long time._

 _His father nodded who shared his same feelings. "Of course, kid. Come here. You must be tired, it's way past your bedtime." He opened his arms for him and even though Ben often despised being treated like toddler, because of his small size, which seemed even smaller than usual in the overgrown jacket, he didn't mind being carried now as he was suddenly too tired..and heavy to even stand._

 _He allowed his father to pick him up, who picked his bag up from the ground and made their way to the Falcon._

* * *

 _ **KR: Lazyhead...**_

 _So you have resorted to name calling again._

 _ **KR: I'm too lazy...erm tired to say anything...constructive...**_

 _When have you ever said anything constructive?_

 _ **KR: Hey, I'm always giving you constructive feedback...not my problem that you don't listen...**_

 _You were supposed to shut up..._

 ** _KR: Oops!_**

* * *

" _No, don't you understand. The damage is already done!" shouted Luke dramatically after them._

" _I know how sleep is important for his growing and he probably won't be able to make up for all his lost sleep, but he must at least try," said his father tiredly, as he was in no mood for any lecture and didn't turn back. "I have heard enough of that lecture from Leia...not my fault that my kid hates bedtimes..."_

 _The kid in question, was trying hard to fall asleep on his father's shoulder and zone out everything, but Luke had to ruin it by continuing to shout._ " _That's not what I meant. You can't just take him away!"_

" _Dad!" shouted Ben, like it was his father's job to fix this as he was too tired to do anything._

" _Luke." said his father warningly._

" _Fear leads to anger..." began Luke, but his father huffed._

" _Not that mumbo jumbo."_

" _Your son is a part of this mumbo jumbo," said Luke sternly._

" _No, I'm not a Jedi...I just have the force..." said Ben and hoped that would shut up his uncle for now, as he had no energy to get into an argument with him._

" _His future is clouded..." said Luke with his best Yoda impression, but Ben had seen old holos of him and could say that Luke did a pretty good job, except that the grammar order was right, but somehow Luke managed to keep his same seriousness despite that._

" _Everyone is..." said his father, who had long since had enough of this Jedi nonsense.  
_

" _In darkness. If he continues on this path, he will become another Vader.." said Luke with his Yoda-like voice, whether it was on purpose or just something he did unconsciously since he was his last student._

 _However, his father couldn't care less if Luke was doing an excellent Yoda impression, as he had used a name he hated with passion, no matter that he turned out to be his father in law...after his death._

" _Stop calling my kid...my son a Vader! He will not turn into one, not on my watch." thundered his father at his uncle._

" _I won't. It's only an innocent play. I don't even want to be a Jedi," said Ben tiredly and stuck his tongue out at his uncle, as if he had tasted something weird._

* * *

 _ **KR: Oh o...**_

 _What?_

 _ **KR: You did turn into another Vader...right? Or well I did...or tried...**_

 _Yeah...so?_

 _ **KR: Your father can't be too happy with that...**_

 _Understatement of the year..._

 _ **KR: And especially not now, when he has heard that you still use darkside powers...even though you are light...**_

 _Don't remind me...and please shut up..._

* * *

 _His uncle just smiled at his childish antics. "Oh, come on we just haven't started on the fun part yet. You still want your lightsaber, right?" He blinked him, knowing full well what his stubborn nephew thought of lightsabers or well any kid he knew._

" _A lightsaber!" Ben's eyes sparkled with joy, like he had been offered some candy and suddenly he didn't think the academy sucked that much._

" _Don't tempt him! And it's way, way too dangerous," said his father, who had trouble holding onto his son as he was so excited and heavy thanks to the jacket, as he tried to get away from him, like his uncle was hiding his dream lightsaber under his robe._

" _I'm the only padawan who still hasn't got a lightsaber...even the younglings have one..." Ben stopped struggling, crossed his arms with his long sleeves and pouted over the injustice._

" _Your mom forbade me to give you one...right away...I mean ever..." said his uncle and evaded his father's stern gaze, who said sternly:"I forbid it too. It's too dangerous, he could hurt himself or others."_

 _Ben gasped in outrage and thrashed in his father's hold, who had to give up on holding him and put him down on the ground. "That's what lightsabers are for! I mean not to hurt others...just to defend oneself and everyone else...of course..."_

* * *

 _ **KR: Unless you are darkside...**_

 _If I had a real lightsaber back then, I might have tried to chop uncle down a few times...and sigh you really can't shut up?_

 _ **KR: I'm trying my hardest here! You are the one making it so difficult!**_

 _Fair enough..._

 ** _KR: I like your taste in lightsabers...just saying..._**

 _I knew you would say that...wait...I haven't picked one yet..._

 ** _KR: I'm talking about your toy saber...it's just like mine..._**

 _I have no idea how to answer that..._

 ** _KR: It just means you can't escape your destiny..._**

 _Shut up..._

* * *

 _Next up: The custody battle of_ _light...and dark..._


	18. The custody battle of light and dark

Chapter eighteen - The custody battle of light...and dark...

" _Where is my saber?" asked Ben and walked over to his uncle, as if he was expecting Luke to keep a spare one inside his robes._

" _You need training. If you work hard on your training, you will get a lightsaber," said his uncle and patted him awkwardly, as if he was a dog he was going to reward with a treat for not peeing on the carpet._

" _Go home...or get a lightsaber...go home or get a lightsaber..." muttered Ben anxiously. "Can't I do both?"_

" _Afraid not," said Luke. "Of course you will get home eventually...just not right now...you are not ready...yet..."_

 _Ben hesitated, as he was caught between two options, a lightsaber one and none lightsaber one and yet the none lightsaber one, was the one he had been dreaming about for months._

 _He looked at his father not far behind him for help, who scowled at Luke for making his son become so indecisive and yelled at him: "I know what this is...you have set your eyes on him since you knew he was force sensitive. You wanted this!"_

 _Luke took a deep breath, like he was using the force to calm himself down, before shouting back at him: "How dare you! I even told Leia that he was too old to start training, but she insisted that he needed help and so I'm helping..."_

 _Before his father had a chance to retort, Ben pulled at his uncle's sleeve and asked in a small voice:"One question. Can my saber be red?" He had thought carefully about his dream saber, but the innocent question send last of his uncle's patience straight out the window...even though they were outside...in the dark..._

" _What?! Of course not! That's darkside. See, he has so much darkside in him that he wants a darkside saber!" He pointed accusingly at Ben and his father looked a little worried by his choice._

 _Ben frowned at his uncle for jumping to conclusions. "No, red and black just happens to be my favorite colors. You are weird...but then it's a deal breaker. I'm going home." He walked back to his father, who gave him a thumbs up for choosing the right thing._

" _Good choice, kid."_

" _It's not that simple! Why doesn't anyone listen to me?!" shouted Luke and the desperation in his voice, made Ben stop and look between him and his father, who furrowed his brows._

" _You know we named the kid Ben, because of you. I hardly got to know the guy...before Vader chopped him down and wasn't his real name Obi-Wan in the first place? I wanted to call my son Benjamin Chewbacca Solo, but Leia thought it was a stupid name and decided to honor your request...instead."_

" _Thank you..." mouthed Ben at Luke for saving him, who half smiled._

* * *

 _ **KR: Hehehe...Chewbacca Solo...**_

 _Yeah...like I wasn't teased in school enough..._

 _ **KR: At least Luke did you a huge favour there...of course he could have asked for you to be called Vader instead...that would've been cool...**_

 _Nah, I like my current name._

 _ **KR: Your taste sucks...**_

 _Fine, then I will tell Snoke all about how you made fun of him!_

 _ **KR: No, don't do that! Wait...how did you even plan on doing that...? Are you planning on going to the First Order?**_

 _I would find a way...somehow...without doing that..._

 _ **KR: Is that so?**_

* * *

" _Wait, dad...does that mean that you hate my name...?" asked Ben shocked, his father shook his head and grabbed his hand and dragged him gently over to him, like they were in some weird custody battle with his uncle._

" _Of course not, you are still my Ben. It doesn't matter what I thought first. Though, I don't see what the big deal was, we would have called you Ben or Benny for short." He put him behind his back like he was hiding him from Luke's sight, before continuing with their argument: "You want him, because he has the same name as your old master. I think you even wanted to call him Ben Yoda, but thankfully Leia put a stop that...it's our kid anyway. Get your own one...and you call him or her whatever you want...but please leave my son alone."_

* * *

 _ **KR: Ben Yoda...?**_

 _At least mom had some naming sense..._

* * *

" _No, no. You are all wrong. I don't want him. If anything, I would prefer to just give him private tuition back home. Were you or better yet, his mom can keep an eye on him. He's a real handful, your son." Ben peered from behind his father's back, to see his uncle point at the black robe on the ground, reminding his father what his son had done not so long ago._

 _His father looked at Ben, behind his back. "I can take him off your hands."_

 _Luke sighed, like there was so much work to be done and not enough time to do it. "I wish, but there are people out there who want to use him for his powers. He's far safer here...I'm afraid." He whispered the last part as if he was expecting people to be listening in.  
_

" _Who are you talking about?" asked his father annoyed and did not bother to lower his voice in the slightest._

* * *

 _ **KR: Duh, the AMAZING supreme leader of course. Who else?**_

 _Darth Vader?_

 _ **KR: That would of course have been awesome! I hope I get to meet him one day!**_

 _When you are...dead?_

 _ **KR: No you idiot as a force ghost.**_

 _Vader is not a forceghost..._

 _ **KR: How do you know? Have you even met Anakin?**_

 _No, but I think Vader being a forceghost is highly unlikely..._

 _ **KR: You are highly unlikely!**_

* * *

" _You wouldn't understand...force stuff. I talked it over with Leia. I'm sorry, but you can't help him. It's too late," said Luke sadly and shook his head._

" _It's not too late!" shouted Ben._

 _"He's in danger...?" His father looked at him like he wanted to wrap him in a bubble wrap, even though he already zipped him up in his jacket and lock him somewhere safe._ " _Please, can we not talk about this in front of him? It would be better if he just went to sleep. Go to sleep." He pointed firmly at the Falcon in the distance, but Ben stubbornly remained as he wanted to know what this was all about._

" _He needs to know the truth," said his uncle, who for once saw his side, but his father shook his head fervently._

" _He can't handle the truth...not now...please...he's too young," pleaded his father and covered Ben ears._

" _I'm not too young!" shouted Ben indignantly as he hated being kept in the dark and it was getting darker by the minute. He jumped away from his father's overprotectiveness._

" _Ben, your father and I need to talk, go and sleep," said his uncle with his no argument voice, as he saw that there was no way to convince his father to allow him to stay._

" _I'm not tired," said Ben stubbornly and crossed his arms with long sleeves and stifled a great yawn._

" _Fine, go and meditate then," commanded his uncle and pointed at that academy, like that was the only place where one could mediate._

" _I don't want to meditate! I haven't seen daddy in months," whined Ben, also because he didn't not want to return to the academy at any cost._

" _Leave now or I will make you wash all the Jedi robes you ruined," threatened his uncle._

" _Daaad!"_

* * *

 _ **KR: Such a whiner...**_

 _Seriously, I was just a kid back then..._

 _ **KR: Was?**_

* * *

" _Don't be so hard on him. I know, I am one to talk...but I am...slowly making up for it. It's okay, just go and play...in the Falcon." His father put a great emphasis on the word Falcon, kind of like when he took him on a mission, or Ben had smuggled himself with him, and he knew the place was about to blow, so he used this secret code, go play in the Falcon, to send him to safety, without alerting the enemies that he was on to them and was prepared to fight...to stay alive..._

 _Needless to say, the moment his mom found out about how dangerous those missions really were, she put a stop to Ben ever to go with his father on such missions, as she put a tracker on him, so he couldn't go without her knowledge, meaning Ben was, for a long while, forced to die of boredom in school. At least training to be a Jedi was somewhat a better...though Ben really just wanted to go home and have more adventures with his father and Chewie...whenever he was too tired to hang around at home with his family, which Ben understood perfectly, as he hated staying in one place too long..._

 _It worried Ben though that his father thought it necessary to use the secret code and he was about to obey, when his uncle stopped by fixing him with a stern look, most likely infused with the force to keep him there, as Ben couldn't move a muscle._

" _He's my padawan...or rather one of them." His uncle looked at the academy, behind him, to where the rest of the padawans were sleeping peacefully and none of them was causing him such trouble, like his own blood. He looked relieved that none of the had awaken despite all the ruckus, but at the same time, looked worried that they weren't more force sensitive than this...or maybe they just didn't care what was happening, as it was nothing new that he was having a great row with his nephew. The only new thing was that now Ben's father was present to help him...sometimes in his arguments._

 _"He's my only child...Which reminds me...I almost forgot...your present..." His father went into his pocket, but when frowned when he came up empty."Wait here." He walked quickly over to the Falcon._

 _"Wait...?" Ben did not like the sound of that, as he watched his father's back getting further away._

 _He hated waiting with passion and was about to go after his father, as he was so afraid of him just taking off without him, but his uncle stopped him by putting a hand on his shoulder and shaking his head sternly, as he was always trying to teach him patience._

 _Thankfully, his father soon returned and hid something behind his back and put it Ben's jacket covered palm. "An early birthday present."_

" _Wooow!" Ben looked amazed, when he uncovered the present. "Did you make this?"_

 _"Yes." His father tousled his hair and pointed at the wooden toy Falcon. "Now you can look at it each time you think something stupid like that I care more about the ship than you. Which is wrong by the way, I love you both and I don't want to lose either of you, understand? I don't want to lose any of you." He turned to Luke to show that he was included and Luke looked surprised and glad, to be included in that list of precious items...or people..._

* * *

 _ **KR: That sounded forced...did he rehearse this in front of a mirror?**_

 _Could be...but I don't remember that toy..._

 ** _KR: Do you remember every toy he gave you?_**

 _No...well...yes...and I would remember this...I am sure..._

 ** _KR: Did he mean this when he said he would give you a ship for your birthday..._**

 _No, he meant a real one...wait a minute!_

* * *

" _Thanks dad!" Ben beamed both over the words and the gift._

" _Anytime kiddo. Now go play...I mean sleep..." His father sighed when he gave him his best puppy eyes. "Okay, you can play for a little while in the..."_

 _Ben ran off, before he managed to finish the sentence as he did not want to miss the conversation between his father and uncle and hoped they would continue, if they thought he was too busy playing in the background to be paying attention to them, when in fact he was spying on them._

 _His plan did not work, as his uncle saw right through him, did not spill any secrets and instead shook his head with a tired expression._ " _You are rewarding him for bad behavior. Somehow I don't think Leia would want that."_

" _What bad behavior? Oh...the robes...that was naughty Ben...but I payed for them..I mean I will pay for them...if you would just allow me," said his father, who had not seen through Ben's plan and thought he was just playing innocently, even though he had picked up a model TIE fighter from his bag and was using the force to let it chase the toy Falcon with loud shooting noises._

" _I won't allow you, since it won't teach him anything. No wonder your kid is out of control!" yelled his uncle vexed over the wroom, wroom noises Ben was making, as he used the force to make Falcon evade the deadly attack with a daring maneuver close to the ground._

 _Ben stopped playing to shout at his uncle._ " _You are out of control!"_

 _The TIE fighter flew straight into with his hand and threw it at his uncle's head, which made the Jedi master ow and rub his head with an angry expression._

 _He looked like he really wanted to kill his nephew for this, but instead he whined:"Han, control your son!"_

 _"Ben, temper!" chastised his father him._

 _"He started it!" Ben pouted as he picked his toy TIE fighter from the ground. "It's broken, thanks a lot!" He tried to fix the model with a sour expression._

* * *

 ** _KR: Luke couldn't even evade this lousy attack...what a loser!_**

 _I don't think he was even trying to...he didn't exactly see me as a threat...at that time...I don't remember having been that bratty!_

 ** _KR: You still are..._**

 _Not like this...I mean I'm not!_

 ** _KR: Maybe I should just arm myself with model TIE fighters and throw at Luke's head...? He sure wouldn't see that attack coming...nah, real TIE fighters are more fun!_**

* * *

 _"Let me see that." His father took the model TIE fighter, inspected it and started working on it. "It's not that serious. Fixed it." He handed the fixed toy back to Ben who smiled gratefully at him._

 _Luke, who was still rubbing his head, frowned at his father disapprovingly. "And on top of things, you give him a toy. What will that teach him?"_

" _That dad is awesome...after all..." said Ben smirking and lifted his toy Falcon victoriously up in the air, only to have it confiscated by his father, who frowned at him sternly and put it into his pocket with the words:"I am not rewarding him...I will keep that until we get home."_

 _Ben felt betrayed, but then his father blinked him and whispered:"You will get it back when I return..."_

" _Yes, father..." said Ben and pretended to act contrite in front of his uncle and was the picture of a perfect innocence._

 _"Ben, go now," said his uncle impatiently as he wanted to finish their discussion and he gave him a look like he wanted to force push him to the Falcon or the academy._

 _"Go where?" asked Ben snidely and couldn't help grinning a little bit evilly as he knew he would never have gotten away with such behavior in his mother's presence, but he jumped up in shock when his father gave him a warning swat, even though it didn't hurt with all the padding under the oversized jacket and shook a finger at him sternly._

 _"Behave, kid. This was your last chance."_

* * *

 _Hey!_

 ** _KR: You asked for it._**

 _Did not! Though it didn't hurt...it hurt my feelings..._

 ** _KR: They are always hurt...anyways...you are such a snowflake..._**

 _Snowflakes are tough! Don't underestimate them! I bet you have never tried catching them with your tongue!_

 ** _KR: No, I had a job. I had no time for such...fun...I mean foolishness!_**

* * *

 _His uncle smirked, that he was finally getting through to this father and Ben gave his father a hurt look for that betrayal, for letting his uncle win, but his father stern features changed instantly as he said gently._ "G _o and talk to Chewie. He can't wait to see you. I will be with you in a bit, kid. I promise...and get some sleep." He gave him a goodnight kiss on the head and tousled his hair. "Goodnight, kid."_

" _Don't you dare leave me here," said Ben and hung onto his father, like he was afraid that he would carry him back to the academy, while he slept and he turned to his uncle:"And you better not say anything stupid to him!"_

" _I never say anything stupid," said Luke in a hurt voice, but before Ben could retort, his father interjected into their fight._ " _I won't kid. Now go, before your uncle loses it." He pushed him gently to the Falcon and at last Ben obeyed, although he occasionally cast a glance over his shoulder to see what his father and uncle were up to...or rather arguing about._

 _"Losing it?! I'm a Jedi! I can control my temper!" His uncle stormed off to the academy and his father followed him equally as mad._

" _Yeah...yeah...and I'm the emperor...or rather you...you are behaving like a dictator!" shouted his father and his uncle stopped outraged and turned to him and poked him hard in the chest._

" _You think I want this...I hate this just as much as you do...and I am a Jedi, we can't hate!" said his uncle pitifully._

" _Just as much...he's my child not yours..." said his father incredulously over the implication. "It was just that one kiss right...?" He growled at him, referring to the story his father hated so much and his mother always used to tease him, about her kissing Luke, even though that was long before she knew they were related. She still brought it up to tease them both._

 _"Of course, I mean he feels like my surrogate son sometimes...I mean, he is my dear padawan..." said his uncle embarrassed and started walking again. "Too bad he can be so difficult...must be the Solo blood..."_

 _"Hey! Get your own...perfect kid then!" yelled his father and followed after him. "He's mine!"_

" _I have plenty of kids in the academy! And you know what I mean...you know why WE have to do this...I'm just fixing your mess...!" Luke stopped mid speech._

" _What?" asked his father annoyed and Luke turned around and pointed at Ben, who jumped up in shock after having been discovered, eavesdropping from inside the open Falcon, though he didn't really need to eavesdrop as they were yelling everything, kind of like how every fight between his parents went._

" _BEN! Go to sleep now!" bellowed his father at him, his patience long since gone while his uncle, who knew of a much better method to deal with spies, used one swift motion with the force to close the door on him, so they could argue in peace..._

* * *

 _ **KR: And cut to you riding home, living happily ever after...and me never waking up, which sucks, but at least we can leave this strange world. Can we go back now?**_

 _I doubt it will be that easy..._

 _ **KR: Now why would your father listen to Luke...of all things?**_

 _I don't know...but I have a feeling...a bad feeling..._

 _ **KR: You always have one!**_ _ **Why must everything be so kriffing difficult for you!**_

 _I did not ask for this...I did not ask for any of this..._

 _ **KR: Stop whining and let's get this over with then...**_

 _Okay...just give me a minute to prepare..._

 _ **KR: Fine, but only one minute! Not a second longer!**_

 _Who said you were in charge?_

 _ **KR: I'm in charge now! Deal with it!**_

 _If you say so..._

* * *

 _Next up: The dark dreams..._


	19. Dark dreams and lies

_AN: Thank you as always for the support! You guys rock!_

 _So sorry for the delay. I thought I would never finish this chapter and as it kept getting longer, I had to divide it in four parts...but that means that_ _the next chapter shouldn't be too far behind..._

 _More of some weird Kylo dream-memory therapy (he of course has a hidden agenda)..._

* * *

Chapter nineteen - Dark dreams and lies

 _ **KR: Your minute is up.**_

 _Just a few more..._

 _ **KR: NO! We don't have time to wait forever for you to get ready...and ready for what! What are you so afraid of?**_

 _I think I know...what happened next..._

 _ **KR: So do I! But you can't escape this memory...dream...whatever. We have to see this through!**_

 _You are right...let's go..._

 _ **KR: Finally! No...wait...I just got a brilliant idea! Wait...here...**_

 _I don't like the sound of that. Wait for what? Did you run away? Can you do that? What are these rustling sounds? Are you rummaging inside my head?! HEY! You are violating my privacy!_

 _ **KR: You dumbass, you can't hide anything from me...and you will like this. Trust me...**_

 _And now I got even more worried...what are you looking for...anyway? Why does it sound you are moving cds around? Are you looking for...sad background music? Such a jerk..._

 _ **KR: No, you idiot. No patience..finally, found it. Here it comes...and I will just add a little...**_

 _Don't add anything! Just play it! Show it...whatever!_

 _ **KR: You will change your attitude after you have seen this...trust me...**_

 _I seriously doubt that..._

 _ **KR: I find your lack of faith disturbing...**_

 _You are disturbing..._

 _ **KR: Such a child, just watch...**_

 _I'm watching..._

 ** _KR: Closely_** ** _..._**

* * *

" _Ben, come out and say goodbye."_

 _His uncle called this so sweetly that Little Ben was tricked into getting out of the Falcon, though he most wanted to hide in there until they had left the academy...for good._

 _Ben had hoped he could have Chewie as his backup, but as the Wookie wanted to take a power nap before they left, his backup plan was shouting goodbye from the safety of the lounge. He had even taken off his father's jacket, so he could move more easily and jump straight back inside if his uncle showed any intention of snatching him away, though of course, his father would never allow his uncle to do that, so why was he so worried? Why did he still have this...horrible bad feeling?_

" _Can we go home now?" Ben peered outside and was shocked to see his father's horrified expression. "Dad! What's wrong?!"_

 _His father looked ashen, frozen like after he had been scolded harshly by Ben's mother and the sight scared him, since Ben didn't know anyone could make his father look like that except her._

 _A protective instinct rose up in him, so despite his better judgement to not leave the safety of the Falcon, he ran outside,_ _shook his little fist at his uncle and shouted at him from the ramp. "What did you do to him! I am warning you I will burn this place to the ground if you won't let me leave!" He stamped his little feet on the ramp in pure rage._

" _BEN!" His father's angry shout startled Ben to the core, though at the same time he was relieved that his father showed some life...too bad he did that to berate him._

" _Apologize now. You never say...or do things like that...no matter how angry...you are," reprimanded his father him and looked shocked to see that amount of anger in him._

" _I'm sorry...I didn't mean that...I'm sorry..." Ben backtracked, hung his head in shame, but his uncle sighed and said: "I know, child. But you must control your feelings..."_

 _He then turned to his father with a knowing look. "See, I told you that there was still way too much darkness in him."_

" _I know..." His father looked crestfallen, as if Ben has just ruined every chance of him ever getting away from there._

 _Ben felt cold when he saw the hopelessness in his eyes. "No, I didn't mean that! It was Kylo. It wasn't me!"_

" _Son..." his father looked torn and checked to see if his uncle had changed his mind._

" _Please..." begged Ben, both his father and uncle._

" _I'm sorry. It is for his future...and the galaxy. You understand what you must do," said his uncle sadly as his father strode toward Ben, who didn't know whether to run or stay._

" _I do." Ben's father picked him up from the ramp and put him back inside of the Falcon._

" _Han...what are you doing?" yelled his uncle, like his father had just put a thermal detonator in the ship, instead of a precious package._

" _The right thing." His father picked up Ben's duffle bag from the wet ground and threw it to Ben who also was shocked over this development, yet still managed to catch it thanks to his force reflexes and put it safely away._

* * *

 _Huh, what's happening?_

 _ **KR: It's a surprise, just wait.**_

 _What are you...?_

 _ **KR: You will see!**_

* * *

" _Are you serious? After everything we talked about? You know what you are risking," said his uncle desperately, as he stalked after his father into the Falcon, who picked Ben up on his way and held him protectively, as he carried him to the sofa in the lounge, as if Luke planned on snatching him away._

" _I will take that risk. I am not leaving him here," replied his father in his no argument voice._

* * *

 _Seriously, what is happening?_

 _ **KR: Kid, wait.**_

 _Kid? You don't get to call me a kid!_

 _ **KR: Just wait.**_

 _If this is some kind of joke...I will kick your..._

 _ **KR: Be quiet.**_

* * *

" _Don't be so dramatic, what do you think Leia will say?" Luke regarded Ben's father with worry as he tried one last time to reason with him, however, his father answered confidently, as he put Ben to lie down on the sofa beside the hole chess. "She will be happy. Now, go to sleep, kid."_

 _He ruffled Ben's hair and tucked him under a blanket, Ben had been napping under while he waited for his father to return, but as Ben couldn't fall asleep until he knew what was going on, he stubbornly stayed awake, despite his father's command._

 _His uncle's shoulders slumped down when he at last admitted defeat. "Of course you are right...I guess it's worth a shot...but please don't come running to me, if all this fails." He scowled at Ben's father as if he was planning on dumping all the responsibility on him if Ben went dark, but Han only smiled and patted his shoulder._

" _We won't, he is our responsibility...you will visit right?" He asked as normally as if was inviting Luke to a family barbeque, since he was so tired of all this light and dark force none sense._

" _Whenever I can...give my sister, my best regards...and say that I am sorry that I couldn't help. Tell Chewie, I said hi."_

 _"Will do," his father nodded. "Bye Luke."_

 _"Bye, Han, Ben." His uncle waved to Ben as he exited the Falcon, who gave him a weak wave back._

" _Bye...uncle..." Ben still couldn't believe what was happening, was this all one dream? Was he really going home?_

* * *

 _Kylo...?_

 _ **KR: Just wait until you see the end...**_

 _The end...?_

* * *

 _As soon as the ship door closed behind his uncle, his father went straight to the cockpit._

 _Ben followed fast on his heels, despite the fact he was supposed be sleeping, but there was no way he could do that with all these questions swirling in his head._ " _Dad...what's happening?"_

" _We are going home." His father sat down in the cockpit and switched the controls on._

" _Really...no strings attached?" Ben sat down in the co-pilot seat as the Falcon came to life with its sounds and lights, but stiffened when he saw that_ _his uncle still hadn't left the premise and was, in fact, watching him below with his most teacher strict expression, which made him gulp as he was supposed to be sleeping not wide awake in the cockpit._

 _He sank down in his seat to hide from him, even though his uncle wasn't his master anymore._

" _No strings. Where is Chewie?" asked his father who didn't seem to care in the least, that Ben was disobeying him or hadn't noticed and he had_ _barely finished his query, when loud snoring came from the crew chambers._

" _Do you want me to go and wake him?" Ben stood up, but his father stopped him by shaking his head and smiled smugly as if he was getting the best idea of the century. "No, no, let him sleep. You will take over his duties, I will guide you through it."_

" _Me...?" Ben's jaw dropped and he blinked in confusion._

* * *

 _What? Since when?_

 _ **KR: Just listen to your father, then you will understand...**_

* * *

" _You will be the pilot of the Falcon one day, so you better start learning the basics. Don't worry, you will do fine," said his father and smiled, but Ben frowned because he felt as he was about to be a victim of the biggest and meanest prank ever and his worries did not dissipate when he checked out the view shield and saw that his uncle was still down there watching...and grinning._

 _When his uncle noticed his gaze, he spoke to him through a mindlink. "Good luck..."_

* * *

 _I hate it when he does that..._

 _ **KR: You got rid of that mind connection when you turned to the darkside...not that he has tried to contact you after you returned to the...blegh...lightside...**_

 _Thank the maker...I have nothing to say to him..._

 _ **KR: Likewise he has nothing to say to you...except shouting...**_

 _I will shout at you...what in Sith is this?!_

 _ **KR: So impatient...**_

* * *

" _Are you being sarcastic?" replied Ben through the mindlink._

" _No, I mean it. Maybe this is for the best, you have a long bloodline of pilots in your family. Perhaps being a Jedi was the wrong career choice for you. You will be fine," said his uncle in his best uncle voice._

* * *

 _ **KR: The only right career path is being a Sith.**_

 _Of course it is...except the Sith don't exist anymore..._

 _ **KR: I will revive them! And will revive grandfather!**_

 _Please don't turn grandpa into a zombie..._

 _ **KR: I'm never allowed to do anything fun...**_

* * *

" _You really mean it?" asked Ben surprised over his uncle's sudden change of heart._

" _Yes, now listen to your father before he changes his mind..." said his uncle now in a fatherly voice._

" _About leaving me here?" Ben grew scared when he was certain this was in fact the final test he had to overcome to be able to leave this awful place and he looked at his father, who had no idea he was having a conversation with his uncle in his mind and was therefore clueless to his worried gaze._

" _No, my silly child. About allowing you to fly...this time, he will put you back to bed if you can't stay awake for this." His uncle pointed at his father who had at last had noticed Luke below, looked between him and his son and frowned at Luke for staying and confusing his son._

" _Oh...you're right." Ben exhaled relieved that this was not some test._

" _Take care kid," said his uncle as he waved physically goodbye to him and his father, who waved a little annoyed back, that Luke was still watching them even though they had long since said there farewells._

" _Erm...you too...bye," said Ben like he was buzzing into a comlink and hoped that would close their connection._

" _Farewell," said his uncle, who of course had to have the last word as he slowly walked towards the academy._

" _Are you okay?" asked his father when his uncle had at last left, both his mind and the ground._

* * *

 _ **KR: You never are...always with your head in the clouds...a true Skywalker...**_

 _Stop interrupting...whatever this is...and I am Solo...as well..._

 _ **KR: That's what you think...**_

 _What?_

 _ **KR: You will find out...**_

 _Which means, you don't know anything..._

 _ **KR: Hey! I know a lot of stuff! It's just more fun having to discover them, instead of me, you know just telling you...you know what they say, show don't tell...**_

 _You make no sense..._

* * *

" _Maybe you should just go to sleep..." began his father when Ben still just stared into space, but Ben cut him off by saying: "What made you change your mind?"_

" _About what? Piloting? This is nothing dangerous. Trust me." His father smirked, even though he was the one who had told Ben it was too dangerous for him to learn to fly yet._

" _No..you were going to leave me behind...weren't you?" Ben frowned at him accusingly._

 _His father exhaled tiredly, picked him up from the co-pilot seat, and had him sit down on his lap, facing him._ " _Nothing changed my mind, in fact, I decided to act on that instead of a coldhearted logic." He flicked his forehead teasingly despite the serious topic._

" _That doesn't make any sense, "said Ben as he rubbed the sore spot and his father kissed that same spot and said solemnly. "What I mean is that I followed my heart..."_

 _"Heart?" Ben gawked at him, as if his father had learned a new word. "You?"_

* * *

 _Heart? Really? He said that...?_

 ** _KR: I have a heart..._**

 _No one asked you._

 ** _KR: Always so mean to me..._**

* * *

 _"I have a heart, thank you very much," his father frowned at him insulted and pinched his ear once lightly._

 _"I know, but you said it like this was some sappy story...that's not like you," corrected Ben quickly, before his father's mood worsened and his father's frown disappeared and he nodded._

 _"True, but_ _to tell you the truth kid, it really broke me to see you break down like that...I decide that nothing that made my son feel that way, could be good for him...I'm not making that mistake again. Now listen, the first thing you do is..." he turned him towards the controls and pointed at them as he began teaching him how each and every one worked._

* * *

 _Is he really teaching me how to fly? For real? I don't remember that..._

 _ **KR: This did not happen...**_

 _Then why do I have a memory of this...seriously, what is going on?_

 _ **KR: Just watch.**_

* * *

 _At last they were in space and as the planet with the Academy went further away, so did Ben's worries. He sank down into the co-seat, as if it had taken every energy in his body to make the ship take off, even though he did the smallest of task and didn't really do anything except listen to his father's instructions to the latter, which had surprisingly only been delivered in a calm and collected manner, instead of in his normal panicky way, like they were about to crash any minute even though they weren't even airborne._

" _You did good, kid." His father smiled proudly at him and petted his head as a reward, while_ _Ben watched as the planet became a small dot in the background._

 _Finally, he was leaving his past behind, but what did that mean for his future?_

" _Will I go back to school?" Ben turned to his father and tried not let his disgust show over the possibility of returning there._

" _Would you hate that?" asked his father softly, who knew how he felt about the place._

" _Kind of...but that beats the academy...or I am not sure..." Ben shrugged, when in truth he would hate having to return to that old life, where he was bullied for being different and where his parents were always away._

" _Well, you are not going back to school, kid," said his father firmly._

" _I'm not?" asked Ben baffled and tried to come up with another kind of life in head._

" _You are dropping out, you will stay with me," said his father as if that was his only real choice._

* * *

 _Huh?_

 _ **KR: Sigh...it's your dream life.**_

 _A dream...?_

* * *

" _What does that mean?" asked Ben, both excited and fearful over how his life was about to change drastically and then a horrible thought popped into his head. What if his mom and dad had gotten divorced and he was in the middle of a custody battle with them? That would explain why he was going behind his mother's back to get him._

 _"Will I see mom?" asked Ben in a small voice._

 _His father just stared at him and then he scoffed._ " _Don't be silly, of course you will, I would never dream of keeping you away from her. Your head sometimes...what I mean is that you get to see the world, this is the best way to learn anyway...instead of in some stuffy classroom," His father said the last part scornfully, like school was just waste of time and credits and Ben's eyes lit up with enthusiasm when he heard that._

" _Really...I get to do that...?" He grinned at his father as if this would be the best life in the whole galaxy and he jumped up and down in his seat._

" _But, there will some rules kid..." His father gestured him to sit down and continued when Ben had obediently sat down again. "You can't just do whatever you want...and I will teach you some stuff..." His father went into his pocket and picked up Ben's wooden toy falcon he had confiscated earlier. "Like flying...for real this time." He handed Ben the toy Falcon, who accepted it gratefully that he got his birthday present back, but then he got a sinking feeling and dropped it into his lap with a dramatic thud._

* * *

 _Like mom would ever agree to this..._

 _ **KR: What part of a DREAM life, don't you understand?**_

* * *

" _How does that sound, kid...? You don't like it?" asked his father worried when he saw how Ben suddenly stared ahead with a doomed look on his face._

" _Of course...I love...all this...but will mom agree? Won't she want to send me in some prestigious school?" muttered Ben into his chest, annoyed that he got his hopes up and wanted to cry in frustration. "Or worse send me straight back here...?"_

* * *

 _ **KR: Even your young self is a pessimist...**_

 _I'm used to my dreams being crushed..._

 _ **KR: So dark...but not this time! Trust me!**_

* * *

 _His father lifted his chin up. "That's never going to happen. Don't worry. I will convince her this is the best way...speaking of..." He let go of him as large footsteps approached them and for a moment, Ben expected to see his mother appear in the doorway through hyperspace to yell at his father for suggesting something so preposterous, but instead Chewie appeared normally and he looked very troubled for a different reason._

" _Han, why didn't you wake me...?" He stopped when he saw who was in his usual seat. "Did he fly?" Chewie gaped and pointed at Ben as if he was a bird without wings who had suddenly taken flight._

" _Yeah..." Ben ran his hand through his hair in a timid manner as he felt a little bad for taking Chewie's spot._

" _Of course," said his father matter-of-factly, as if this was far from an unusual sight._

 _Chewie looked between, father and son, out the view shield and when he saw nothing abnormal and there were in fact airborne, he smiled pleased._

" _Well done." He attacked Ben's hair playfully and since his big hairy paws, put static electricity into it and ruined it, Ben exclaimed in horror:"Chewie!"_

 _He pouted and smoothed his hair, however, he also smiled over the uncommon praise._

" _But it's way past his bedtime..." began his father and as if on cue Chewie went to fetch the blanket from the sofa in the lounge and returned shortly and draped it over Ben's shoulders, who looked up at him and sulked when he got the message clear._

" _Get some sleep kid...your mom will be very unhappy if you arrive to her sleep deprived...you know that," said his father sternly, when Ben still didn't move._

" _I thought I was your co-pilot...or an extra...one..." Ben crossed his arms defiantly as he was tired of being treated like a small child and annoyed that he only got one small chance to prove them wrong._

" _You are...my precious little co-pilot, he's my big one," His father picked him up and handed over to Chewie. "However sleep is also important. You have to take care of your health...as well as the ship."_

" _Your father is right," replied Chewie, while Ben was still mulling over his father's words and put him down on the floor as he took the co-pilot seat in his place._

 _"I told you there would be rules, that means bedtime," said his father sternly when Ben still hadn't left the cockpit and shook a finger at him, as if that gesture would help to make him listen and Ben at last admitted defeat._

 _"Okay, I see your point...but can I sleep in here? I don't want to be alone...I am so afraid to wake up and nothing of this happened..."_ _He looked pleadingly at his father, as if he was afraid that by stepping over the threshold into the lounge that Falcon would disappear and he would be once more back in the Academy._

* * *

 _See...so used to...having my dreams crushed..._

 _ **KR: You...poor...poor thing...**_

* * *

 _His father and Chewie exchanged sad looks as they finally understood his worries._

" _I don't see why not," growled Chewie and his father nodded in agreement._

" _Of course kid...as long as you are comfortable..." His father frowned after a quick inspection around the small cockpit when he realized there were only two uncomfortable seats in the back and no place to lay down._

 _Chewie saw the same problem and he looked down at the floor, as if he was trying to see if he could fit a small divan in there._

" _I am always comfortable with you," said Ben in his sweetest voice to his father, who looked stunned by his proclamation and Chewie looked equally as surprised by it._

" _Aww...kid, come here..." His father, who was easily won over by his charms, opened his arms up for him and Ben climbed onto his lap and snuggled into his chest like he was a pillow. "There is a long way home." His father wrapped the blanket around him. "Get some sleep...you're safe now...my son..." He kissed him on top of his head, as Ben drifted to sleep as he finally felt at peace..._

* * *

 _ **KR: So cute...**_

 _What in the...?_

 _ **KR: You don't think this is cute?**_

 _Of course! I am not heartless...you are!_

 _ **KR: I told you I am not heartless...I even made this for you...**_

 _Made...? I didn't know you could make stuff...I mean what was that?!_

 _ **KR: For the record, I'm very creative. I can even bake.**_

 _Bake...? How can you even see through the helmet?_

 _ **KR: Idiot, I don't use the helmet when I do that.**_

 _But...?_

 _ **KR: No more questions. Just be patient. It's not over yet. The best part is still to come...you are about to meet your mom again!**_

 _Mom...? But she didn't want to see me...right...? I mean she forbid dad to go and get me...from my training against the darkside...and she send me away..._

 _ **KR: Well...it doesn't matter here! Just watch!**_

 _Mom...I'm coming...home...?_

* * *

 _Next up: The dreamlike family reunion..._


	20. The dreamlike family reunion

_AN: Thank you as always for your support! You guys rock!_

 _A little bit of a warning for the end. I think Kylo is seriously trying to bump up the rating with his vulgar words and topics...(a Kylux "subtext"?!) I'm not sure if he managed to do that...:S I hope not...let me know if he did and I will try to reel him back in... ;)_

 _But mostly this chapter is just cute...family fluff!_

* * *

Chapter twenty - The dreamlike family reunion

 _Father and son finally arrived in the dead at night, at their home on Coruscant. They had dropped Chewie off on Kashyyyk to his own family for the time being, but Han was going to contact him as soon as possible to let him know how the negation about Ben's new future with Ben's mother went. Chewie was very dubious that Han would ever be able to get Leia on board with this radical plan and Little Ben was likewise doubtful and so it was with small anxious steps he returned to their apartment after nearly a year._

 _He was back in his father's coat, as they hadn't found any of his own and his father had insisted on he wear it to ward of the night cold, despite Ben finding it unnecessary for such a small distance to the door, but his father was adamant. He knew his mother would have his head, if he had not dressed him properly for the journey home and risking him getting a cold, so Ben relented even though he had trouble moving around in the big clothes._

 _His mom was fast asleep on the sofa in the living room when they arrived. Ben saw a stack of datapads on the sofa table, she must have been working on for the senate, before being forced to take a power nap so she could continue working endlessly through the night. Always working, just like how he remembered her. He smiled sadly. Even if she would want to send him straight back to the Academy upon sight, at least he got a chance to see her one last time..._

 _His father shushed him and pointed at him to wait in the shadowy hall for his signal. Ben nodded as they had planned this before entering, as his father went to gently wake his mother up and tell her the news, so she could better adjust to them and give them a chance to convince her of two things; one, that leaving the Academy was for the best and two, to allow Ben to drop out of school to work with his father instead and learn that way. A perfect plan, except Ben and his father had not noticed the old protocol droid who was resting in the shadows and he sprung to life, the minute he saw Ben take a stand next to him._

" _Young master!" exclaimed Threepio in a voice that could've woken up the whole planet. "You are home!" He hugged Ben fiercely who yelped in surprise._

" _Ben?!" His mother jolted up from her sleep._ _She looked frantic, laid the eyes of his father, who seemed to want to murder Threepio for her rude awakening and she demanded: "Where is he?!"_

* * *

 _ **KR: Ah, Threepio the master at ruining plans...such a silly droid...**_

 _You know, grandpa made him...when he was nine..._

 _ **KR. Your grandpa not mine...Vader is not Anakin...they are two different persons, like you and I...**_

 _Whatever suits you..._

 _ **KR: It's the truth...I've seen it with my own eyes...**_

 _Aha...well don't talk badly about Threepio. He kind of raised me..._

 _ **KR: Ah...now I understand better why you are so fucked up...**_

 _HEY! Take that back!_

* * *

" _Yes, I'm home...but mom doesn't know...please...we are trying to..." whispered Ben desperately to the family droid, who seemed to understand him despite him only speaking mostly in unfinished sentence, a talent he had acquired since he had known Ben from birth. Threepio nodded and let go of him._

" _Understood young master." Threepio emerged slowly out from the shadow. "I'm terribly sorry mam...sir." He nodded to murderous Han. "I must have short circuited. I will go to the garage and repair myself." He walked stiffly outside and left Ben's mother feeling utterly confused and her eyes filled with sadness._

" _He's not back...? It was all just a dream...Of course he's not back...that can't be..." mumbled his mother crushed, until she noticed his father who stood in front of her and was hiding something behind his back with a sabacc game expression. "Wait, Han...when did you come home? Where have you been all these months?" She rubbed her eyes tiredly."What's going...on?"_

 _Ben was ready to leave his hiding place as obviously his mom needed him, but his father gave him a signal behind his back, which Ben knew meant to stay, which surprised him, but he did as he was told, although he wanted above all to run to his mom, hug her and never let go of her. It was at times like these that Luke's teaching about patience were useful..._

" _I have a special delivery for you." His father dropped Ben's duffel bag on the sofa table right on top of the datapads with a dramatic thud._

 _Ben became even more confused to what his father was trying to do while h_ _is mother jumped up when she recognized the bag instantly._

 _"Where is he?" She demanded and glared at father as if she was about to hit him over the head with a frying pan if he didn't stop fooling around and Ben wanted to do the same for pranking his mother like that. "Where's my son? There better not have anything happened to him..." She walked to him threateningly and his father backed away grinning._

" _Just kidding. Here is the real thing." He pulled Ben into the light from the shadow just as he was about to leave and shout at him for tricking his mother like that and_ _lifted his small body up easily and put him on top of datapads like he was a package."And he's ours." He grinned widely like someone who had given someone the best life day present and many months earlier._

 _His mother reeled back in shock. "Ben...?" She stared at him and covered her mouth in shock._

" _Hi mom." He smiled coyly, as he was still scared of her reaction to him having returned and that he was sitting on her important work like that, so he jumped off it._

 _In spite of his force reflexes his mother managed to snatch him up with something close to lightspeed, before he even touched the floor, embrace him tightly and smother him with kisses._

" _You are real! This is not a dream! I can't believe it! It's not a dream! Not a dream...!" She crushed him against her chest. "My little baby!"_

" _Mom...?" Ben was stunned over her reaction. He had expected a lecture and some yelling at his father and him and even being sent away, but never that his strong mother would break down like that._

" _My...my little angel..." she whispered on verge of tears, her whole frame shook with sobs and she looked like someone who finally had gotten her wish granted, which was probably the case._

* * *

 _ **KR: Angel?**_

 _Shut up, that is the nickname she gave me..._

 _ **KR: Hmm...so your father calls you a little bandit...and your mother...a little angel?**_

 _Yeah...what about it?_

 _ **KR: It sure explains why you are so conflicted...**_

* * *

" _I'm not little..." mumbled little Ben, who was annoyed that his height kept being brought up, but he had been told that he wouldn't hit his grow spurt until he was a teenager and it certainly didn't help his case that he was wearing baggy clothes which made him look smaller._

 _His mother smiled through the tears. "It's really you." She caressed his cheek and kissed his head, even though he had already gotten enough kisses from her to last a lifetime. But he didn't mind them...at all._

" _I brought him home...I hope it was okay..." said his father, who had so far only watched their reunion from the sidelines, but now seemed to be hoping for some thanks as he sat down next to her._

" _More than okay...it's perfect." She gave his father a quick peck on the cheek. "Thank you." Then she turned her attention back to her present and nuzzled Ben. "I'm never, ever leaving you again...my sweet little angel..."_

" _Mom..."_

 _He just wanted to stay there forever..._

* * *

 _Mom...mommy...mamsy..._

 _ **KR: I knew you would love this part...are you really crying...?!**_

 _Shut up...I haven't seen her in years!_

 _ **KR: But, she send you a letter...six years ago, when she apologized just to you, not me, for having lied about Darth Vader...and that's not that long time ago since you "chatted" through a comlink...**_

 _Comlink and hologram don't count! And why the kriffing should she have apologized to you...?!_

 _ **KR: You know why! Vader is my grandpa! And I had a right to know! You even said hi to her hologram...like she was really there...**_

 _Well, she wasn't...it was just a stupid hologram...that felt so real...like this...but it wasn't! And this isn't real! I kind of turned for her...the stupid republic was so mean to her when they found out she was Vader's daughter!_

 _ **KR: Those bastards were just jealous...**_

 _And afraid of her...and uncle...and me...I had to destroy it! To protect her...why is she protecting the republic that betrayed her?! Why?!_

 _ **KR: If you told her that was...well one of the reasons...do you think she would be...happy with you turning to the darkside?**_

 _Don't be stupid...you know she won't be. Please finish this...whatever this..._

 _ **KR: Okely dokely..**_

* * *

 _His mother suddenly frowned at his attire. "What in the sith are you wearing?" She, put him on the sofa table and unzipped and removed his father's jacket as gently as if she was opening the biggest present of her life. "Let's get you out of this sweetie and into something more comfortable."_

" _I didn't find any of his coats," said his father apologetic and his mother frowned in worry as she looked through Ben's duffel bag on the table beside him and came up empty._

" _Ben, where are your coats?" she asked worried._

" _I lost them..." said Ben, like that one sentence spoke a whole story, he didn't want to delve into._

" _Ben..." His father shook his head sternly over his carelessness, however, his mother, who knew what he was hinting at, put him on her lap and wrapped her arms around him. "You poor, poor, thing." She rocked him and stroke his hair._

* * *

 _ **KR: You are not going to tell her the truth about what happened?**_

 _She doesn't need to know that I was also bullied in the Academy...I don't think uncle even knew...or cared..._

 _ **KR: I wasn't talking about that...but those guys sure changed their attitude when they found who our...I mean my grandfather was!**_

 _You mean the knights of Ren?_

 _ **KR: Yeah, my knights. Those jerks...but their costumes, skills and Darth Vader worshipping are cool...but what I really meant was the truth about why you...turned...**_

* * *

" _Mom..." Ben looked up and met his mother's eyes. "I'm so sorry." A single drop of tear trailed down his cheek._

" _Sorry for what?" asked his mother surprised and looked at his father by her side, who contemplated what exactly Ben was saying sorry for, as they had agreed on not disclosing how he had pranked Luke by ruining the robes._

" _Don't worry about the coats, you will get new ones..." She reached over him and dived into his duffel bag. "This will do nicely. You will be nice and toasty in this."_

 _Ben stiffened in horror when he saw her drag up from his bag, his hated old childish outfit, an ewok-like onesie._

* * *

 _ **KR: How could you lose your all coats...and keep this monstrosity...?!**_ _  
_

 _I tried! That thing must be cursed!_

 _ **KR: I wonder if she has another one for you today...it would be the perfect punishment...**_

 _What...she wouldn't...would she...?_

 _ **KR: Who knows...? She's the daughter of Vader...of course she knows the best way to torture people...**_

 _I hope she hasn't one..._

* * *

 _"Isn't he too old...?" began his father, but his mother shut him up with one stern look at him._

 _"He will always be my little boy and today he will wear this..._. _unless you don't want to, of course," said his mother, and looked at him alarmed where he sat on her lap._

 _Ben shook his head sadly as he was thinking of darker stuff and she smiled, thankful for the permission and started undressing him, by pulling his shirt over his head._

" _I meant I'm sorry for the darkside..."_ _said Ben through the corner of his mouth as his mother quickly undressed him to his underwear to put him in the ridiculously cute outfit, which he had no idea how ended up in his duffel bag as he didn't remember packing it for the trip home. In fact, he was pretty sure he had burned it. However, he didn't protest at all being put into it as he wanted to make his mother happy, or at least attempt it._

 _His parents exchanged worried glances over the darkside remark and for a moment the whole innocent family scene disappeared and Ben started crying for ruining everyone's happiness...again._

" _Don't worry about that, you're home now," said his mom firmly, like nothing else mattered before his crying escalated any further._ _She wiped his tears away with her thumb and dressed him in the onesie. "We will protect you from it." She pulled the ewok hood up and cuddled him. "My little baby boy."_

" _Mom..." said Ben for other reason, but because she could answer him back, which made him feel like a duckling or a baby ewok thanks to the costume, but he didn't care as he had far too long, longed for this moment. "Mom..." He clung onto her warm chest for dear life and listened to her soothing heartbeat._

 _She can baby me all she likes...for now..._

" _I'm here sweetheart..and I'm not going anywhere." She kissed his forehead and rocked him in her arms. "You're safe now."_

" _We are not going anywhere." His father smiled at the innocent sight as she lulled him into sleep and he stroked his cheek gently._

* * *

 _ **KR: Isn't this sweet? Perhaps too much...? Anyway, this could be yours...if you want...that is..**_

 _Maybe if I get rid of the ewok onesie...what...how...?_

 _ **KR: It can't be that hard to get rid of that thing...besides, it's not like it fits you anymore...unless you really think she is keeping one in your size as a punishment!**_

 _No, I mean, I can't go back in time...or rather change the past...and I can never tell her the truth about my turn...she will be mad whatever I say, but if she hears about this...she will be beyond mad at me! She was angry enough when I was kid and blew up those prank bombs in the senate...imagine her rage if she knew was systematically trying to destroy it...just to protect her...or well, avenge her...since these morons threw her out! If it hadn't been for mom's rebellion there wouldn't even be a republic! Stupid senate...they never deserved her! I hate them so much!_

 _ **KR: You really should just blow up the senate...I know my Hux is itching to use the Starkiller base...**_

 _No, thank you! Your...Hux...?! I thought you hated that guy!_

 _ **KR: So you...are fine with your mother...thinking you just turned...to piss her off...?**_

 _Erm...I wouldn't say that...what did you mean by your Hux? Don't you hate him? It's sure looks like he hates you...us...no way...to you actually...lov...erm like him?!_

 _ **KR: That is none of your business...but of course I hate the guy! And the feeling is mutual. However, at the same time that feeling can turn into something else...you know...you never asked me if I were a virgin...**_

 _WHAT?!_

 _ **KR: Remember, how you told your mother after your awakening that you wrecked the galaxy...just for her attention...**_

 _Don't change the subject! What do you mean by none of my business, this my body too...I mean this is my body! Did you do something to it?!_

 _ **KR: I haven't said anything against cheatmode...erm scavenger...umm I mean Rey...**_

 _Oh, yeah. You can't even remember her name! And you have done nothing except criticize her and try to send her home! And even tried to turn her to the darkside...and bring her to Snoke!_

 _ **KR: What's wrong with that?**_

 _What's wrong with that?! EVERYTHING! Just like, how you did something with my body without my permission!_

 _ **KR: Sigh, I don't have time for such childish banter. I don't even have to remind you of your latest conversation with your mom...I can just show you...I am in your brain after all...**_

 _Don't show me a memory inside a memory! This is confusing enough as it is! Why can't you answer me about Hux?! Have you...two...done it...?_

 _ **KR: Get your head out of the gutter. This isn't a memory.**_

 _This isn't...? I mean I know that! Still doesn't mean that I can't enjoy it...but not like this! Please what about Hux? I need to know!_

 _ **KR: Why are you so hung up on that? Why are you trying to turn this K rated scene into something M rated? Do you have anything against a same sex relationship, aren't you trying to hook Poe and Finn up?**_

 _Of course, I don't have anything against it...but I am just hooking them up so Poe will leave my Rey alone...I mean Finn will leave her alone...I never really saw Poe take any interest in her...his only redeeming quality...he is head over heels with Finn, that so obvious...so what is the truth with you and...? I can't focus on this until you tell me!_

 _ **KR: You will never find out...maybe I'm just teasing you...it's so easy and so much fun...**_

 _Well, stop it! And answer me! NOW!_

 _ **KR: I'm not going to...never..ever...forever...**_

 _Jerk..._

 _ **KR: You don't need to know anyway...**_

 _What's that supposed to mean?_

 _ **KR: Are you planning on going back to the First Order...?**_

 _Well, no...not technically..._

 _ **KR: I rest my case...Technically?!**_

 _I will not tell your my plans..._

 _ **KR: Hmm..you mean you need your mom's and dad's permission first?**_

 _Maybe...mostly mom's...I mean...the resistance's...since she the general..._

 _ **KR: Right...since you won't allow me to just show you the memory...remember, how very angry your mom was...something about...how she, your mom, would "talk to"... aka yelling at you and punish you for wrecking the galaxy...that's what's going to happen the minute you return to her...**_

 _Why are you ruining my precious time with mommy... I mean mom...what am I saying...of course you would try that...you ruin everything..._

 _ **KR: That's not true! I made this! And I'm just reminding you of the harsh reality...that awaits...you...on the other side...not a warm fuzzy welcome like this, trust me...**_

 _Why did you have to remind me of that? I know that! AND isn't this...some kind of a reality? Isn't this happening...right now?_

 _ **KR: Well, if you like...from a certain point of view...**_

 _I can never get a clear answer from you..._

 _ **KR: You only have stupid questions...so I give you...answers to fit that...**_

 _Just shut up and let me enjoy this._

 _ **KR: No thanks whatsoever...**_

 _If you answer me about Hux, I might give you...my thanks..._

 _ **KR: Not gonna happen.**_

 _Same here then...so can we go back now?_

 _ **KR: What's the hurry, we haven't finished here..**_

 _We haven't...?_

 _ **KR: No, no we are just getting started...**_

 _I guess this is kind of nice...as long we don't take too long..._

 _ **KR: Just take your time...haven't you wanted this for so long...?**_

 _I...yes...okay, I guess I can see a bit more..._

 _ **KR: That's the spirit!**_

 _You're so weird right now..._

 ** _KR: You're weird..._**

* * *

 _Next up: The surreal family discussion..._


	21. The surreal family talk

_AN: Thank you as always for your support! You guys rock! Sorry for the delay, here is finally the new chapter. Hopefully the next chapter won't be far behind..._

* * *

Chapter twenty one - The surreal family talk

 _Leia walked into Ben's bedroom with her son half asleep in her arms and as he was wearing his ewok onesie, it looked like she was carrying a teddy bear instead of a small child._

 _Despite being way too old for carrying, little Ben hadn't done anything to try to escape from the cuddling as he treasured every moment with his mom and snuggled closer to her in his sleep._

" _What did Luke say?" asked his mother as she lifted up the duvet on his bed. However, when she tried to put half asleep, Ben, under_ _it_ _,_ _he clung firmer to her and mumbled something incoherently to object the removal from her._

" _You know...he said he was sorry," replied his father, as if Luke saying sorry was the most unusual thing in the galaxy, when he put Ben toy Falcon on his night table, next to Wicket, his ewok plushie._

" _Sorry?" His mother tried to loosen Ben's death grip on her._

 _"That this didn't work out." His father pried Ben gently away from his mother and put him under the duvet and tucked him in._

 _His mother nodded in understanding, picked up the plushie, put it carefully under Ben's arm and gave him a goodnight kiss. Then she drew up a chair, close to his bed, sat down and just watched him sleep. His father stood next to her, put an arm on her shoulder and for a while they just observed their son who had returned to them. An unusual peaceful sight._

* * *

 _ **KR: So cute...**_

 _Why am I only allowed to sleep in a dreamworld...but not in reality...or am I sleeping now? Is this all a dream?_

 _ **KR: Something like that...**_

 _If it is...I'm not sure I ever want to wake up..._

 _ **KR: Most dreams are like that...especially the ones you can control...**_

 _I can control this?_

 _ **KR: If you like...but for now just watch...it's my gift to you...**_

 _Gift...? My birthday isn't until next month..._

 _ **KR: It's not that kind of a gift...**_

 _Oh..._

* * *

" _What will we do now?" whispered his mother suddenly as if she was speaking her thoughts out loud. She was never one to forget herself in sentimentality and was always ready to look to the best possible future, though mostly for the galaxy so often her own family got the short end of the stick and Ben was afraid that same thing would just repeat itself._

" _Am I burden?" asked Ben worried that he was causing her more troubles and opened his eyes in fear._

" _Never a burden sweetie," said his mother sweetly, leaned over and kissed his forehead. "Go back to sleep."_

* * *

 _Right..._

 _ **KR: Right...**_

 _Definitely a dream life..._

* * *

" _Will I go back to uncle?" He sat up straight and hold onto his plushie for dear life, like for protection._

" _No, of course not sweetie. We will figure something out. Don't worry." His mother pushed him gently back down. "Just, go back to sleep." She kissed his ewok hoodie._

" _I will teach him." His father picked up the toy Falcon from the night table, as if that would explain everything and his mother, being the smart woman understood instantly what he meant._

" _You plan on taking him with you on the job?" His mother turned her attention to Ben and surveyed him like she was interviewing him for a job interview._

" _Wait a minute, you two planned this...didn't you...?" She frowned as she looked between him and his father._

" _Maybe..." admitted Ben while his father turned away and whistled innocently._

" _I bet Luke was not happy to hear that new arrangement," said his mother and shook her head sternly._

" _No, he was very worried for Ben's safety. But it was not his choice to make...it's not like he's his father..." began his father, but Ben interjected and sat up again: "Yeah! Who cares what stupid uncle thinks...?"_

 _Ben covered his mouth when he saw the his mother's angry expression and his father's stunned, but the damage was already done._

" _Ben, you will not speak that way about your uncle," lectured his mother and his father nodded sternly in agreement._

" _Sorry.." muttered Ben._

 _Ben's quick remorse, soften his father's and mother's expression and she gave him her warm smile. "He only cares about your safety."_

 _His father nodded._

* * *

 _Yeah right._

 _ **KR: Yeah right.**_

* * *

" _I know..." Ben had barely finished the sentence when his stomach growled loudly in the small room. He covered his stomach like that would make it shut up, his father looked white and his mother turned sharply to him._

 _"You didn't feed him?!" She folded her arms and put up her most deadly expression which made his father back away and he clasped his hand like he was praying._

" _I wasn't hungry!" yelled Ben and was about to shift the blame entirely over to his uncle, which was true since he hadn't made sure he had eaten dinner, but his father blew it be saying:_ " _I gave him a lollipop...we were in so much hurry to see you...sweetheart."_

* * *

 _ **KR: Ah, so that's why you hate them...your father only ever feed you those...**_

 _No, he did not. I told you...they remind me...of my lost...childhood..._

 _ **KR: Hmm..well..we have found your lost childhood...it's right here...**_

 _My...lost childhood..._

* * *

 _His mother huffed. "A lollipop." She sighed. "Fine, I will forgive you for this oversight this time...and you too for not taking better care of yourself...why didn't you tell me you were hungry?" She turned to her son._

" _Yeah, why didn't you?" His father frowned at him. "You told me you weren't."  
_ " _I wasn't...before..." replied Ben, who in truth had been on hunger strike until he will get away from the Academy. Thankfully, it had only begun that night since his uncle hadn't been clueless and not noticed him skipping dinner, so Ben had tried to run away instead and been caught by his father who brought him home._

" _Ben..." His father huffed and shook his head sternly like he could see into his mind. "You have to eat. You want to grow up, right?" He waved a finger at him._

* * *

 _No._

 _ **KR: No?**_

 _I want to stay here forever...I mean I don't have to grow up, I am a grownup!_

 _ **KR: Hmm...doesn't sound that way to me...**_

 _Let's just finish this...so I can go back to doing grownup stuff..._

 _ **KR: Like aggravating your father...**_

 _That's not the only thing I do...I mean I don't do that!_

 _ **KR: And Rey...**_

 _I don't annoy her...do I?_

 _ **KR: So blind...so childish..**_

 _But I love her...I think...no I am sure!_

 _ **KR: You sure have an odd way of showing it...**_

 _Well, you are no love guru. So I don't need to listen to you._

 _ **KR: I have more experience...**_

 _Lalalala! I can't hear you!_

 _ **KR: So mature...**_

* * *

" _Of course I want to grow up," replied little Ben annoyed and his father smiled and said: "I thought so."_

" _Then you can't skip any meals and you have to get enough sleep." lectured his mother._

" _Yes, mom...of course." When Ben's stomach growled like Chewie, his mother sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose._

" _I will make some bantha burgers." She marched out of the room and commanded his father to follow her. "You, help"_

" _Of course, sweetheart." He followed after her, but they stopped short in the doorway when Ben shouted:_ " _I will help too!"_

 _He quickly untangled himself from the duvet by kicking it off and ran after them since he did not want to be left out of the conversations about his future._

 _"You need to rest.." began his mother and his father nodded, picked him up and carried him back to bed. "Let us take care of this...take care of you."_

 _"No, please." Ben thrashed around in his father's hold and looked between his parents who exchanged worried glances. "I don't want to be left alone..."_

 _His mother nodded and his father put him down on the floor. "Okay, sweetie. You can help. It should take shorter time then..."_

 _Ben smiled, relieved and went over to her._

 _She took his hand and led him to the kitchen. "But afterwards it's straight to bed."_

" _Yes, mom." Ben nodded, happy over that small victory and skipped by her side._

* * *

 _Burgers?_

 _ **KR: You don't like burgers?**_

 _Well..yeah...,maybe...but isn't that too heavy to eat right before for bed?_

 _ **KR: Does it matter? You won't get a stomach ache...or nightmares in this perfect world...**_

 _Perfect...? World?_

 _ **KR: I'm getting really tired of having to repeat myself...but you will see..**_

 _I will see..._

* * *

 _"Ben and I talked it over...and he loves the idea," said his father, like nothing had interrupted their discussion, where he set the table and his mother flipped the burgers on the pan._

 _"I really do mom," said Ben where stood on an a chair and chopped down vegetables on the kitchen counter and bits of pieces clung to his ewok onesie, messing it up, but he didn't care._

 _His mother looked like she wanted to put a bib on him to protect his clothes. However, she only glared at his father and scoffed. "Of course he does, sounds like pure freedom."_

 _Ben saw he was losing the battle so he quickly added before his father could say something stupid again. "No, dad told me he would be very strict and..that I would learn how to fly...and this was the best way to learn about the world. I'm not going back to school...ever." Ben chopped a cabbage viciously, but the knife did get stuck in the middle and he tried to yank it out with the force._

* * *

 _Mom's going to say no...and send me straight back to Luke...or worse school!_

 _ **KR: Why must you be such a pessimist?**_

 _I thought that was good for the darkside?_

 _ **KR: NO! I'm an optimist. I'm always a hundred percent sure that I plan to take over the galaxy will work or I wouldn't even go out of bed in the morning!**_

 _Makes sense...except it never works..._

 _ **KR: Don't remind me! Besides, that's your fault!**_

 _Mine?_

 _ **KR: You always, ruin everything...so you better just stay here...**_

 _What? Stay here...?_

 _ **KR: You will find out...**_

* * *

 _His mother took this in. "I guess, we could try this out...but Ben you have to obey your father in everything, and I mean everything." She took the knife from him and pushed it slowly down through the cabbage._

 _"Yes, mom." he nodded solemnly._

* * *

 _She said...yes?_

 _ **KR: Yes, she did...**_

 _Not without rules, though..._

 _ **Sigh...OF course not...**_

* * *

 _"Except when he tells you to do things, you know I would never allow." His mom stopped Ben from getting the sharpest knife from a drawer, when his father didn't even bat an eye._

 _"Have I ever done that?" asked his father innocently, as he opened a beer bottle and took a sip._

 _"And no cantinas," said his mother and put the food on the table while his father spurted out the beer in shock._

* * *

 _What no cantinas! I knew this was too good to true!_

 _ **KR: This isn't true...but it could be...**_

 _What do you mean...?_

* * *

 _"No cantinas? Are you serious?" asked his father stunned and wiped his mouth with his hand._

 _"Mom..." whined Ben. "Why not...it's fun...?"_

 _"You are not going to a bar." She first glared at her son, then his father, and pointed at the mess on the table, but before he had chance to clean it, Ben had done it with his force reflexes._

 _His father smirked, patted his head for a job well done and picked him up from the floor and had him sit on his lap._

 _"I will make sure he doesn't drink alcohol...while he's underage and when he's old enough, I will make sure he doesn't get drunk." He pokes him in the chin._

 _"I won't drink...I won't get drunk..." repeated Ben after him._

 _"And no deathsticks," said his father, pinched his cheek and smirked._

 _"No deathsticks," parroted Ben and then he frowned at his smirking father for bringing them up._

 _"That's not my biggest worry...though I don't want him to drink no matter his age...deathsticks? Do you want me to agree to this or not? Why did you even bring them up? I had forgotten all about them..." His mother looked even more worried than before and when Ben saw that his chance at new life was slipping away, he said in his defense: "He was just joking, mom..."_

* * *

 _ **KR: I tried them once...**_

 _What! Seriously, stop poisoning my body!_

 _ **KR: I hope you are not referring to general Hux as poison...**_

 _Argh...stop talking about that!_

 _ **KR: I thought you wanted the truth...**_

 _I changed my mind! I don't want to think about that!_

 _ **KR: Hux, Hux, Hux...**_

 _Shut up! Did he give you death sticks?_

 _ **KR: Of course not, he wants me to take good..no great care of my body...**_

 _I think I want to throw up..._

 _ **KR: It was one of the knights...Ren Ren...**_

 _So you had to be one of the cool kids?_

 _ **KR: I am cool...I'm always cool...**_

* * *

 _"Well, it was not funny...you know I would skin you alive if you ever tried those awful things." His mother shook a finger at him._

 _"I would skin you alive as well..." His frowned at him and took down his hood sharply, like he was flaying the cotton bearskin of him._

 _"And I would skin you alive as well...if you let anything happen to him..." His mother narrowed his eyes at this father for threatening their boy, even though she had done the same and Ben wasn't the slightest fazed by the threats as he knew they weren't real, just annoyed that they didn't trust him._

 _His father gulped. "Yes, dear...I will protect you..." He pulled Ben's hood back up, embraced him tightly and kissed his head. "My precious son."_

" _That's better." His mother smiled relieved._

* * *

 _Wasn't this supposed to be some kind of a perfect world? Why are there death threats...well, technically over something that could kill me...? And the ewok onesie...though it looks comfortable..._

 _ **KR: Clearly this banter is your idea of happiness...**_

 _Or rather normal..._

 _ **KR: And it's very comfortable...it's like you are on a fluffy cloud...just imagine...**_

 _Is this AMR therapy? You have many talents...and when did you try on this outfit...?_

 _ **KR: Let's just say...Hux has a weird taste...**_

 _Stop! I don't need to know!_

 _ **KR: In how to punish me for the repair bills. He really hates ewoks for bringing down the empire, so he loves to torture them...**_

 _Okay, I definitely don't need to know more!_

 _ **KR: Pity. I was just getting started...or was I just messing with you..this whole time?**_

 _I really...really hope so..._

* * *

 _"Mom, dad you know I would never do anything stupid like trying something called deathsticks...We have been through this before," Ben crossed his arms and pouted over the fact that they didn't just trust him to do the right thing._

" _I'm glad to hear that sweetie..." said his mother as she finished cooking the burger for him._

 _"Of course kid...but it's always good to get a reminder. You are a good boy." His father put him back in his seat. "You are our kid...my little bandit."_

" _Don't call him that. He's my little angel," said his mother and put the burger on his plate. "Here you go, sweetie."_

* * *

 _ **KR: Ironic...you...an angel...**_

 _Shut up. It all your fault. Why did you do something stupid like that? Why did you try deathsticks of all things?_

 _ **KR: You want the truth...mostly to mess with you...**_

 _I should've known..._

 _ **KR: You need to have some bitterness to contrast with the overload of cuteness in here...or you wouldn't believe it...this world..**_

 _Believe it...sigh and I just found out a yet another thing I can never tell mom...or dad about..._

 _ **KR: Hux?**_

 _No, the deathsticks! You heard her, she will kill me if she ever hears about them...and she does not ever need to know about my sex life! And not dad either...about either thing...I have no idea how he would react...I don't want to know! But most importantly...I don't need to know about yours! It's gross!_

 _ **KR: Gross? Well, thanks a lot, I will remember that when you start sleeping with Rey...**_

 _What...who says that I'm going to do that...?!_

 _ **KR: So you are just going to hold...hands with her...again? You are lamer than I thought...**_

 _I didn't' say that! Just...I'm not ready for this discussion...I haven't even told her how I feel yet..._

 _ **KR: At at this pace you never will...let me handle her..**_

 _NO! Maybe she doesn't even like me..._

 _ **KR: So obvious...**_

 _What's that supposed to mean? Does she like me or not?_

 _ **KR: How should I know? She could even be a relative of yours.**_

 _She's not!_

 _ **KR: How do you know? Have you even asked your father?**_

 _No...but he didn't seem to recognize her...and would Luke really leave his child on some planet...?_

 _ **KR: He could've...but I'm talking about the fact...that she could be your sister...**_

 _My sister! Give me a break! That's the stupidest thing that I've ever...!_

 _ **KR: Not that I care. I'm going away...**_

 _What...? You are leaving...?_

 _ **KR: Something like that...**_

 _Well...I guess that is good news..._

 _ **KR: It is...very good news...**_

* * *

" _Can't he be both?" asked his father and his mother shook her head, as she put utensils next to Ben's plate, as he was about to bite into the burger._

" _He's part royalty. He's a little prince, so he can't be a criminal..." She found a bib in a cupboard while Ben pondered over whether or not to use the utensils, when he would rather just hold the burger, as that would be quicker._

" _I'm both...everything. I'm..well me..." said Ben and moved away as his mother tried to put the bib on him over the onesie, so he wouldn't make more mess of his clothes._

" _Of course you are, you..." said his mom as she made another attempt to put the bib on him and his father nodded in agreement with her words, but not action._

" _And Kylo..." muttered Ben and judging from his parents horrified expression, Vader could've just as well have come back from the dead and was joining them for dinner._

* * *

 _Kylo, what's up with that...addition?_

 _ **KR: What? I'm not doing anything...you are saying this...not me...or mini YOU.**_

 _Yeah...right...I thought you were making this..._

 _ **KR: Well...it's me...and you...**_

 _What's that supposed to mean...?_

 _ **KR: Never mind that...your parents look so pissed...**_

 _Like always..._

* * *

" _No, you will not have any darkside." thundered his father and hit the table with a dramatic thud._

" _But he is a part of me..." said Ben in small voice._

" _No darkside! yelled his father adamant._

" _Ben, you will get rid of him...this instant," said his mother, like he was supposed to squash Kylo like a bug._

" _Or what...?" asked Ben in challenging voice._

* * *

 _Shut up stupid mini me...don't ruin this!_

 _ **KR: He will only ever speak your mind...**_

 _As if..._

 _ **KR: Except you don't have a mind...**_

 _Please just shut up! Both of you!_

* * *

" _Do you want to be grounded for life?" asked his father who rose in his seat, like he was about to follow through with that threat and even though he loomed over him, Ben wasn't about to give up so easily even though his mother seemed to agree fully with his father._

" _You can't ground me for life!" yelled Ben, frustrated over the empty threats and his father and mother exchanged glances as they formulated a new plan to convince him._

" _We can't...?" His father went over to him and captured him before he could escape. "Then we can just tickle you, until he goes away!" He lifted his arms and his mother tickled his sides._

" _No fair!" shouted Ben before he exploded into a hysterical laughter over that surprise attack._

* * *

 _ **KR: NOT fair!**_

 _Phew...everything's back to normal..._

 _ **KR: Normal?!**_

* * *

" _Okay, okay. I give up! I don't want him anyway." shouted Ben with tear in his eyes and his father and mother stopped with the tickling warfare._

" _Good." His father cuddled him and his mother kissed his head._

* * *

 _ **KR: Hey! You made me...**_

 _Did not._

 _ **KR: Yes, you did.**_

 _Well, let's just agree to disagree..._

 _ **KR: YOU MADE ME! You can't just throw me away!**_ _  
Sigh..._

 _ **KR: And I can't seem to get rid of you either...**_

 _That's good to know..._

 _ **KR: As you are my creator...**_

 _Sigh...I thought you were going._

 _ **KR: Yeah, but not like this...I want a real farewell.**_

 _Bye, bye._

 _ **KR: No, not like this...**_

 _You are never happy...but you know, you are not taking over my body again without my permission._

 ** _KR: Yes...not without your permission..._**

 _Good to see that we are finally on the same page..._

* * *

" _I will get rid of him...but I need your help..." said Ben to his doting parents who nodded._

" _Of course son. Anything," said his father who moved and Ben frowned at him, when he saw his intention._

" _No tickling. It doesn't work."_

" _Okay, son." His father grinned and his mother took a seat next to them._

" _We help you sweetie," she said and tried one more time to put the bib on him, but this time his father moved him away from her._

" _He's not a baby," he said, even though he was holding him like one._

" _He's my baby," said his mother, annoyed that she didn't get to baby him more._

" _He's ours!" shouted his father._

" _I belong to both of you...I mean you are my mom and dad...both of you," said Ben before they could argue further and looked between his parents pleadingly. "So stop fighting over me."_

* * *

 _ **KR: Eloquent as ever...**_

 _Shut up...and you stop fighting over me. You are never getting this body back. Why haven't you left yet?_

 _ **KR: I can't go until things are ready.**_

 _Ready? Ready for what...?_

 _ **KR: Takeoff.**_

 _You're so weird...but fine whatever..._

* * *

 _His parents looked shamefaced at each other and him, for causing him such worries._

" _Of course, you are right. Truce. Now eat." His father put Ben back in his seat and pointed at his untouched burger that was getting cold and Ben got to work._

 _"You're right sweetie...but what I'm mostly worried...about regarding your training...are the bar fights and scoundrels...this a dangerous world..." His mother observed Ben's every move carefully, when he arranged the toppings on his burger, like he was assembling a bomb instead of a harmless food._

 _"He can wait and play in the Falcon, while I finish my business in the cantinas. How does that sound? And it won't be any smuggling business, but a legal one. So not so dangerous...in fact no danger. Chewie will watch over him...I will watch over him." His father took the ketchup bottle away from Ben, when he saw how he kept endlessly pouring sauce on his burger and put it far away on the table._

 _"No danger," parroted Ben, as he bit into his burger and most of the sauce leaked out all over his plate and onesie. He looked horrified, as he was worried his mom would put the dreaded baby bib on him after all, but his mom only fetched a towel, put water on it and wiped his mouth and fingers clean._

 _"Hmm...we will see...but we can worry about that later..." She put the utensils beside his plate in his hand so he could cut the burger instead of chomping down on it like a savage. "Let's go on a family vacation first...to the Lake planet. Naboo. How does that sound?" She smiled and Ben shouted with his mouth full of food, despite his noble upbringing:"Awesome! I love the beach!"_

* * *

 _ **KR: I hate sand...**_

 _You do not, you are just mimicking grandpa._

 _ **KR: No, I really dislike sand, it's coarse, irritating and it get's everywhere, but I guess everyone has their taste...**_

 _But a vacation...like mom would just drop her job like that..._

* * *

 _"What, now?" His father looked between his mother and out the window into the night. He did not look to happy, to having to continue flying without a good rest or after having a drink, as the space police did not take too kindly to those who flew after even one drink._

 _"No silly, tomorrow. After a good night's rest," she smiled and glanced at her messy son. "And you need to take a bath after dinner."_

 _Ben nodded, happy to have a reason to stay longer awake with his parents and started cutting the burger into smaller pieces._

 _"But what about our jobs? And he's in now in training...with me." He watched Ben closely, where he meticulously cut the last of his food into small bites and chewed it slowly, like it was part of his upcoming training._

 _"They can wait...the training can wait." His mother smirked mischievously and his father grinned and snatched Leia from her seat, who yelped in surprise and then snickered like a little girl._

 _"Sounds like fun. What's the occasion?" His father kissed her on the cheek and when she kissed him back, Ben made a face even though he was happy to see his parents get along, he didn't want to see them making out in front of him._

* * *

 _Thanks alot Kylo!_

 _ **KR: What?**_

 _Now I can't get that image out of my head! My parents...being together...like this...ugh..._

 _ **KR: Really...? You are such a child...you know you were made this way...**_

 _I KNOW THAT! And It's perfectly normal to think...the way I think! I mean you don't think about Snoke...and...erm..._

 _ **KR: Haha...you can't pair him with anyone...which is a bit sad...when I think about it...**_

 _Unkar Plutt?_

 _ **KR: What?! Now I can't get that image out of my head! You...slimy...**_

 _Hehe..oh no...now I have started thinking about that as well...argh!_

 _ **KR: You are such an idiot...**_

 _I'm sorry! Let's just go back to the cuteness!_

 _ **KR: You better!**_

 _"I have my child back...our child...my family..." His mother smiled and opened up her arms for Ben, so he wouldn't feel left out, who beamed and gratefully climbed over his father to her to join them in their hugging._

 _"Can things get any better?" asked Ben in a sappy voice while they, family-group hugged._

 _"There is an ice cream cake for dessert," declared his mother and Ben bounced on her knee of joy._

 _"Yippie!"_

* * *

 _ **KR: Okay, let's stop here...for now...**_

 _Gurgl..._

 _ **KR: Speechless? Or did you overdose of the cuteness...? Happiness? Did I go too far? Please don't tell me you are still thinking about the...other stuff?! I sure hope not! Or maybe the group hug...I must admit that the cake was bit too much...but I love ice cream cakes by the way..unlike sand...**_

 _I...I can't believe this..._

 _ **KR: That I love cakes? I told you that I love sweets, mister lollipop hater! I even bake cakes..but enough of that...wasn't this nice...? Okay, maybe the bit with the cake was a bit too far...I was getting hungry but know it takes so long time to make one, but if failed, as it has to be in the freezer for long time first...I know since I tried to make one to butter up Hux so he wouldn't cut my allowance...**_

 _Allowance?_

 _ **KR: I meant pay...stupid! And it's not like your mother was expecting you...unless it was store bought...though they never taste as good...on the other hand she is so strong in the force so she might...**_

 _I don't care about the cake!_

 _ **KR: You don't? Well, you are still getting one you lucky...ungrateful bastard... but can I go back now? I don't see why you were so nervous to see this...**_

 _You idiot! This did not happen at all! You just stole one of my...best dreams and added way more sweetness...and sugar to it...except the death threat and darkside parts, those felt real bitter...and real...wait what why are you going back alone...?! That was not a part of your deal! I told you are not taking over my body again!_

 _ **KR: I know this didn't happen! I'm not an idiot. If it did, I wouldn't be here...I already told you I made this for you!**_

 _Yeah, I know, but what for? What's your game? Making me more miserable? I didn't need any help with that! And you can't go! Not like this!_

 _ **KR: No, you fool, I'm trying to help you. The other ending would make you cry...and well, I don't want you to cry...except maybe happy crying...though I'm not that good with crying. I'm trying to be nice here! Be thankful! And yes, I'm going back...alone...**_

 _You can't go...not unsupervised. And...nice! It makes me ten times worse to see something that could've happened! In some alternative reality... And I would not have cried, thank you very much!_

 _ **KR: Oh...you're welcome...yeah right...you cried over your mother. And who's going to stop me? You?**_

 _YES! I will stop you! And of course I cried when I saw mom...I did not mean it like that! Those were just...happy tears...and guilt...but I thought you wanted me to be depressed...I thought you had to be depressed to be darkside..._

 _ **KR: That's a big misunderstanding. Even Vader tried to think of what if world where he didn't kill Padmé and their baby lived. Just imagine his shock when he found that his child was alive, and more that he had twins! So mean of Obi and Yoda to keep them hidden from him. He told me it was not good to be depressed the whole time...it was okay to be angry, just not depressed or the light side would then get through the crack...which is is exactly what happened to me! I should have listen to him!**_

 _I thought you did nothing but that..._

 _ **KR: Not enough! I was a fool. I should have done as he told me from the start and let you life in a fantasy world...where could have adventures with your father...or who know what you want to do...! Then you would never have awakened and I could still be doing my job! In fact I'm offering you it right now!**_

 _What are you talking about?_

 _ **KR: You can stay here in the fantasy world and eat cake...forever...while I go back...to my job.**_

 _And put everyone in danger! And I don't want to eat cake forever...that's unhealthy..._

 _ **KR: Stop being such a fool! Just take the cake and enjoy it...I promise I will not to hurt anyone. I won't hurt your family...and not Rey. I will just send her back to Jakku...**_

 _You are not sending her back!_

 _ **Okay, okay, I will have your father adopt her, that should make up for losing his son...**_

 _Losing me...?_

 _ **KR: Didn't your mom always want a daughter? Sure beats owning a former darkside son...her former enemy...such a hassle...can you imagine the paperwork?**_

 _You do make a strong point..._

 _ **KR: Right? I always do. I will just head back then and you will life happily ever after right here. You will get your childhood back. Maybe you will even start to love lollipops...and cake...**_

 _While you go and...kill people...? Do you think I am a fool?! No, don't answer that..._

 _ **KR: Who said anything about kill? Seriously, I have a mountain of paperwork not to mention Hux, going to kick my ass for betraying them...so I don't have time your drama!**_

 _Are you scared of Hux? Really? So you are not together?_

 _ **KR: Shut up. You saw that he tried to kill me with an airstrike...and do you have any idea how angry he gets when the repair bills come in...? He does not just scold me...I mean you heard about the ewok onesie...but when I think better about it...if you consider my size, he must think ill of Wookies as well...such an evil guy...**_

 _I thought you were evil?_

 _ **KR: No, I'm not evil! I'm right! It just so happens to do the right things...you sometimes must do evil things...to get the right things done...**_

 _Right...you are so scared of Hux..._

 _ **KR: I'm not scared of him! Though fear is good for the darkside...shut up! Why can't you see this is the best way! If you go back now, your father will most likely get rid of you when he sees that you are still dangerous or your mother will send you to jail or even have you executed...**_

 _She wouldn't..._

 _ **KR: What do you know? It's not like she has a choice...not even if she knew that you turned for her...it might be worse as she would be regarded as an accomplice...while in here, you are perfectly safe...in fact you can wish for everything! You can get Rey...have her be the same age as you...be your girlfriend, she can even have her family...don't you want to see her happy? Can't I be happy?**_

 _Of course...what not you! I mean Rey!_

 _ **KR: Mean...**_

 _But all this is a lie! I don't want to live in a dreamworld...no matter how awesome it will be...no matter what awaits me outside..._

 _ **KR: Sure...?**_

 _Hundred present. I'm not leaving my Rey behind._

 _ **KR: That girl...nothing but trouble. You are such a masochist...so you really want to see the..."bad" ending?**_

 _Yes._

 _ **KR: What does it matter anyway, it's a part of a dream...right? I just gave it a...way better ending.**_

 _Just play it._

 _ **KR: Fine...here is the stupid ending where Luke wins, Han's down...**_

 _Without the puns..._

 _ **KR: Never...I love them...**_

 _You love puns...? You are full of surprises..._

 _ **KR: Yes and...the biggest surprise is yet to come...**_

 _Nothing can surprise me anymore...everything has been done...except the Snoke and Unkar Plutt thing...that really surprised me!_

 _ **KR: WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT UP ABOUT THAT!**_

 _Sorry..._

 _ **KR: Oh, you will get a surprise...you will...**_

 _See?_

 _ **KR: Yeah...how did you know I was going to say that?**_

 _Just a hunch..._

 _ **KR: Hmm...well, be prepared to have your...brain...blown out...or something...no scratch that I live here too...just watch...and then you can judge whether or not it will surprise you...**_

 _Just get on with it already!_

 _ **KR: No sense for drama...**_

 _I prefer comedy..._

 _ **KR: There is no comedy...without drama...**_

 _Spare me your literature lessons and get one with it!_

 _ **KR: It's too much fun messing with you...**_

 _I will mess with you! If you don't get on with it, now!_

 _ **KR: Okay, okay...sheesh...sometimes you can be quite scary...**_

 _BOO!_

 _ **KR: Not like that...idiot...**_

 _You are an idiot..._

 _ **KR: Never argue with a fool, because the fool will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience...a certain fool that begins with a Bee...e, EN...**_

 _HEY! Not cool, man!_

 _ **KR: I'm always cool...always...**_

* * *

 _Next up: The painful goodbye..._

 _The Snoke and Unkar Plutt thing is real! Trust the fandom to make some interesting ships...awkward laughter... I had nightmares for weeks after only seeing the "steaming" cover..nah I really just roared with laughter...;) Hope you did the same...with their honorary mentions here..._

 _A very different things coming next chapter...more seriousness...? Perhaps..._


	22. The painful goodbye

Chapter twenty two - A painful goodbye

 _No, you are not...cool..._

 _ **KR: I AM COOL! ALWAYS!**_

 _Fine..I think you are cool...just not always..._

 _ **KR: Oh really? But you think I'm sometimes...cool?**_

 _Yeah._

 _ **KR: That's surprising...like when?**_

 _Like when you showed me...a different..way better life...past...childhood...whatever..._

 _ **KR: That was cool...?**_

 _Yeah._

 _ **KR: But you didn't want to stay there...in fact we can like just go back there now...**_

 _No, I want the truth...and Rey. She doesn't exist in the dreamworld. She wasn't born yet..._

 _ **KR: Of course...Rey. How could I forget about her...? So difficult...fine here is the...no wait...this is not the truth.**_

 _It's not?_

 _ **KR: It's complicated. But it's the real ending on your false memory...dream whatever...**_

 _Okay...can I get the truth-truth after that?_

 _ **KR: I guess...I don't know how any of this works...**_

 _Didn't you just make up a whole fake reality...?_

 _ **KR: Yeah...but that was just because your mind desired it...I can't do anything, that isn't already in your brain.**_

 _You can't?_

 _ **KR: No, I can only mix your memories, dreams...nightmares...you are the one controlling everything...**_

 _I'm in control...?_

 _ **KR: For once...**_

 _Forever..._

 _ **KR: Whatever, let's just get going...ready...?  
**_ _I was born ready...I think..._

 _ **KR: Right...here it comes...**_

* * *

 _Little_ _Ben had no idea how much time had passed as he waited in the Falcon. He must have fallen asleep. It was pitch dark outside._

" _Ben, come out and say goodbye." His uncle called this so sweetly that Ben was tricked into getting out of the Falcon, though he most wanted to hide in there until they had left the academy...for good._

* * *

 _You don't have to play it from the beginning..._

 _ **KR: Fine I will go to the horrible, horrible part!**_

* * *

 _"Can we go home now?" Ben peered outside and was shocked to see his father's horrified expression. "Dad! What's wrong?!"_

 _His father looked ashen, frozen like after he had been scolded harshly by Ben's mother and the sight scared him, since Ben didn't know anyone could make his father look like that except her._

 _A protective instinct rose up in him, so despite his better judgement to not leave the safety of the Falcon, he ran outside, shook his little fist at his uncle and shouted at him from the ramp. "What did you do to him! I am warning you I will burn this place to the ground if you won't let me leave!" He stamped his little feet on the ramp in pure rage._

 _"BEN!" His father's angry shout startled Ben to the core, though at the same time he was relieved that his father showed some life...too bad he did that to berate him._

 _"Apologize now. You never say...or do things like that...no matter how angry...you are," reprimanded his father him and looked shocked to see that amount of anger in him._

 _"I'm sorry...I didn't mean that...I'm sorry..." Ben backtracked, hung his head in shame, but his uncle sighed and said: "I know, child. But you must control your feelings..."_

 _His uncle turned to his father with a knowing look. "I told you that there was still way too much darkness in him."_

" _I know..." His father looked crestfallen, as if Ben has just ruined every chance of him ever getting away from there._

 _Ben felt cold when he saw the hopelessness in his eyes. "No, I didn't mean that! It was Kylo. It wasn't me!"_

" _Son..." his father looked torn and checked to see if his uncle had changed his mind._

" _Please..." begged Ben, both his father and uncle._

" _I'm sorry. It is for his future...and the galaxy. You understand what you must do," said his uncle sadly._

" _I do." His father picked Ben swiftly up from the ramp and carried him away from the ship._

" _No, no, no!" Ben kicked and hit him in the vain attempt to get loose or make his father turn back._

* * *

 _ **KR: I can stop here.**_

 _Carry on...to the end..._

 _ **KR: Fine, don't come crying to me!**_

* * *

 _Despite his son's violent protects, his father carried him all the way over to his uncle, far away from the Falcon. "Calm down, breathe...I will come back for you when you have gotten ridden of the darkness. I promise..." like he's trying to convince himself as much as Ben. "I promise."_

 _Ben grabbed tighter onto him, he felt as if he was playing, the ground is lava and that if he touched the ground everything would be over._

* * *

 _ **KR: You can still stop this...my offer still stands...**_

 _No..._

* * *

" _When will that be? Why can't I just go home now? I promise I will be the best kid in the whole galaxy! I will do all my chores...homework...I will even be a senator! Please don't leave me! I want to come home!"_

 _When his father didn't answer his pleas, Ben turned to his uncle and shouted over his father's shoulder: "I hate you!"_

" _Ben..." his uncle shook his head with sorrow. "This is not helping..."_

" _I will run away! I will get lost in space! I wreck the galaxy! You will all regret this!"_

 _His father kneeled down and embraced him tightly. "Shush, my little bandit...you will be home sooner than you think. Be good, kid...one day this will all be over...but until then please, promise me to stop trying to ruin your uncle's...I mean your master's academy. Absolutely no burning it to the ground...there is no need for that...same with wrecking the galaxy, you know your mom wouldn't like that...and it's strictly forbidden to run away! We never want to lose you. I will come for you again...I promise...you just have to wait a little bit longer...my precious son."_

" _I don't understand...why can't I just come home now? How will any of this help me get rid of the darkside?" begged Ben and his father turned to his uncle._

" _Luke, you cannot tell him the truth."_

" _I won't," said his uncle solemnly, as if he had sworn some kind of an oath._

" _Truth? What truth?" asked Ben._

* * *

 _ **KR: I know, there is only one truth...**_

 _I don't think I want to hear this..._

 _ **KR: And that is that Darth Vader was the most awesomest...wait is that word?**_

 _You really are an idiot..._

 _ **KR: No you are...you chose this instead of the other cool and nice ending! For you, I mean.**_

 _I chose the truth._

 _ **KR: But this is all a lie...**_

 _The outcome is still the truth...right?_

 _ **KR: I guess...**_

* * *

" _One day you will get to know it...one day you will understand...when you are older...much older. Can you promise me to be good until then?" His father ruffled his hair._

" _Will you get me if I am good?" asked Ben hopeful and his father nodded and went into his pocket to fetch something._

" _Yes...the minute the darkness is..completely gone from you, I will get you back." He handed him a red lollipop._

* * *

 _A kriffing lollipop...like that would make anything better..._

 _ **KR: Don't be triggered...**_

* * *

 _Ben felt that there was some light left, some hope, which he held fast onto as he accepted the candy._ " _Okay...dad...I promise...no more ruining the academy...or burn it...or wrecking the galaxy..."_

" _And running away?" asked his father, as if that promise mattered the most to him and grabbed onto his hand before Ben could unwrap the candy, who nodded sincerely._

" _I won't."_

* * *

 _I don't remember having promised that...I don't remember any of this...except in a dream...I thought this was all a dream...then why is this so real? Why can I remember this...and yet my mind denies that this is the truth? And at the same time wished it...rejects it...wants it...though I want the other world more... I think I even remember the taste of that kriffing lollipop! It was a different taste than the one Chewie gave me earlier...why can I remember that...? What a stupid detail..._

 _ **KR: Vivid...or crazy imagination? Which means you could still make up and go back to your dreamworld...**_

 _Rejected._

* * *

" _Good boy...love you kid." His father unwrapped the candy for him and Ben put the lollipop in his mouth._

" _Love you dad...please say hi to mom from me...and Threepio. I...really miss them," Ben mumbled around the candy and smiled despite his sadness._

" _I know kid. I will do that...be strong." His voice was on the verge of breaking so the words seemed to be directed at himself than his child in his arms, who was showing considerable strength in light of all things._

" _Han...you have to let him go," said his uncle softly, as if speaking that way would soften the blow of their farewell._

" _Please...just a few more minutes," begged his father._

" _Han..." said his uncle._

" _I know...in case this doesn't work, I left my number with your uncle...or you can just contact me to tell me how your day went," said his father softly._

 _Well, that part definitely is fake. I never got his number!_

* * *

 _ **KR: Of course not...and all of this is fake, remember...**_

 _All of it?_

 _ **KR: All of it.**_

* * *

 _++++  
_ " _Okay..." little Ben nodded and sucked his candy, seemly without a care in his world._

" _Please call...every day," said his father and Ben nodded again._

" _Of course."_

 _His father, who didn't seem to believe him, frowned at him. "I mean it, we want to know everything about you. You know that._

" _Yeah." Ben was gone into his own happy world, so he wouldn't break down in tears again or try to stop his father from leaving. Nothing existed except him sucking the lollipop. Nothing bad was going to happen. He was stuck in his own..fantasy world, where nothing could go wrong._

" _Ben...are you really listening to me?" barked his father at him._

* * *

 _Why is dad pestering me like this...? Wasn't he the one who left me to my own devices for twenty years...?_

 _ **KR: It's fake, remember...**_

 _Oh...right...still weird...bit out of a character for him..._

 _ **KR: Maybe...**_

* * *

" _Han," said his uncle with great difficulty and bit of annoyance that he was stalling like this. "He's in good hands. I will protect him." He smiled encouragingly and gave his father's shoulder a comforting pat on the shoulder._

* * *

 _Well, you didn't! YOU FAILED ME! AND EVERYONE!_

 _ **KR: I can still kill him...**_

 _NO! I will just...shout at him when we meet next time...in the far...far away future..._

 _ **KR: I would at least punch him...**_

 _That doesn't sound so bad...but I will take care of it...myself..._

 _ **KR: I can never do anything fun...**_

 _Nope._

* * *

 _His father sighed tiredly like the fate of the whole galaxy rested on his shoulders. "I know, goodbye...son."_

 _He gave Ben a goodbye kiss, on top of his head, stood up at last and gave him a curt nod, but then he reached for him, like he either wanted to give him one last cuddle or kidnap him. Somehow he managed to resist the temptation, as he clenched his fist and walked into the Falcon, without looking back._

 _Ben, who had so far managed to stay strong thanks to the soothing sucking of the lollipop that worked like a pacifier, stiffened when he heard the thruster go off and his eyes widened in horror when he saw the ship lift off. All of a sudden the cold reality came crashing back as he seemed to wake up from a dream...or a nightmare._

* * *

 _ **KR: Your chance for a better life is slipping through your fingers...**_

 _I know..._

* * *

" _No!" Ben ripped the soothing lollipop out of his mouth, and threw it into the wet grass so he wouldn't choke on it as he ran after the ship. "Come back!" He sprinted after the ship as it ascended higher, like he was trying to reach after it. "I changed my mind! Please come back! Please don't leave me!"_

* * *

" _I promise I will come back for you sweetheart," said an unknown voice suddenly, like from a another...similar memory..._

" _NO! Come back!" shouted a little girl's voice desperately._

" _Quiet girl!" said Unkar Plutt?_

* * *

 _Is that...Rey's memory?_

 _ **KR: Probably...?**_

 _Why is her memory getting mixed up with mine?_

 _ **KR: You most likely think about her...way too much...**_

 _It's never too much...in fact it's too little...in here I have hardly thought about her..._

 _ **KR: Why do I even bother?**_

 _Is she here...? Why is her memory here...? I wonder if I follow the memory-trail, that I can get to know more about her...to help her I mean..._

 _ **KR: IT'S YOUR BRAIN NOT HERS!**_

 _If she allows me, I can take a peek at her mind and try to find more out about her family..._

 _ **KR: If I were you, I would be more worried about what is happening to your own family!**_

 _Oh...right...this sucks...so much..._

 _ **KR: Welcome to the reality...or erm...some truth...it's still false though...but the outcome is still the same, so...not that much of a difference...I think...**_

 _I will be the judge of that!_

* * *

 _After the ship disappeared into the sky, little Ben threw himself down and wailed like his heart had been cut out and clawed at the wet ground like he was trying to escape through it. The lollipop lay ruined in the grass._

* * *

 _My...lost...childhood..._

 _ **KR: So you were speaking the truth...the candy really does represent that...**_

 _I always speak the truth, unlike someone..._

 _ **KR: I always speak the truth...**_

 _Yeah, right..._

 _ **KR: As you know it...**_

 _Know it? So this is a real one? A memory I mean...?_

 _ **KR: Or rather how you remember it...but memories can also be false...like this one...**_

 _Like this one...why am I remembering a false memory again? Why was Rey's memory here...?_

 _ **KR: Beats me...I never understood how your mind works and I life here...or well I just work here...**_

 _A volunteer work then..._

 _ **KR: Maybe...but you made me remember...**_

 _I don't remember that...which makes it untrue..._

 _ **KR: Strange logic...**_

* * *

 _His uncle embraced little Ben awkwardly and allowed him to cry on his shoulder while he said in a soothing voice:_ " _It's okay Ben...everything is going to be okay..." He rubbed his back and hoisted him up into his embrace. "Let's get you back to bed...you have a long day tomorrow, writing an essay about how to control your temper and you also have to rewash all these robes..." He carried him away from the scene of the night. "Everything is going to be okay...this was all just one...bad dream...my little padawan...my chosen one...my son..."_

* * *

 _Chosen...one...? Wait...son?! What the?! What's he blabbering about...?_

 _ **KR: Your uncle was...no is a fool...why didn't he just allow you to go home? I don't care if that memory is false, he still didn't allow you to go home in real life, even though obviously you were not the chosen one. Only our awesome grandpa was the real chosen! And who says there has to be a chosen one? It's so overdone! Anyways, then you would have lived a different life...you saw that. A happy life...but of course I wouldn't have awakened so..but I will kill him for you...are you okay? You look kind of white. I knew this was a bad idea!**_

 _White? I'm just a voice in here...I think...but yeah...I'm okay...I didn't realize it would be million times worse to see this...after the..good..no great ending...even though it was overloaded with sugar... and no confusion...or well mild ones..._

 _ **KR: Right...so..? Go back there...? I can add Rey if you want...?**_

 _However, I prefer the truth, it's part of me, of who I am..._

 _ **KR: You can change who you are...who you become...became...**_

 _Let me finish! Even though I can't argue with uncle being a fool, I don't want you to kill him...not even for me...please don't do that. He is family after all...just a little on the thick side...but we all kind of are...this family...that is...what did he mean by...son? Did he mean anything by that...?_

 _ **KR: I have no idea. This is all false, remember and no matter the truth, I still want to kill him and more importantly Vader would still be our granddad, so no change for me! However, if you would find out you were adopted...that would be a whole other story!**_

 _Of course, you only care about Vader..._

 _ **KR: ONLY?!**_

 _I must be misremembering anyway. Didn't you say this memory was false? What was up with that strange dream-like memory? It felt so..real. And that ending was awfully close to Rey's memory of being abandoned by her family..._

 _ **KR: I call that plagiarizing...**_

 _No, most likely her memory just mixed up with my own...You heard it...it was hers! She must be in here!_

 _ **KR: That's not possible...we would have seen her already...no one can hide so well...inside someone's head! Mind you!**_

 _That's too bad...I really wish she was in here with me._

 _ **KR: So you plan on staying...?**_

 _What, no! That's not what I mean...I have to go back...I know it will be hard...and seeing all this makes it even harder..._

 _ **KR: How so?**_

 _I mean dad never came back for me...the promise about coming back when I got rid of the darkside was from before...he sent me away...wasn't it? You said this was false..and uncle told me he never came...he told me...it was just a dream...wasn't it?_

 _ **KR: It's a dream...**_

 _Yet it felt so real...that promise...when...and why did he say that? Why did he not just bring me back? Why was uncle so mad to see dad? I thought he would be so glad to get rid of me...considering the damage I had been doing to his academy so he would send me away...which never worked...dad never showed up...I only remembered uncle punish me and make me rewash the Jedi robes...so why this memory? Or dream? False memory? Is it trying to tell me something?_

 _ **KR: Obviously...**_

 _What then? What did uncle mean by I couldn't leave...? How was that supposed to help me get rid of the darkside? What truth was dad talking about? Vader being my granddad? Well, that truth kind of turned me to the darkside...or well more the consequences that said truth had for my family...not to mention the fact that if I had got dad's number, I would have just called him in a heartbeat and begged him to take me home!_

 _ **KR: You clearly made this memory up from scratch in denial that your father abandoned you all these years...**_

 _You think so?_

 _ **KR: Trust me...I know a fabrication of a memory when I see one...I'm in your brain after all. I just showed you what I am capable of...creating fake realities...**_

 _I will never trust you...did you create Rey's memory...?_

 _ **KR: No, I'm not obsessed with her! Like certain someone...**_

 _I'm not obsessed...more like worried...I left her behind..._

 _ **KR: It's not like she's alone...she's with your father, Chewie, the important but annoying droid, the traitor and the rebel scum. Or are you worried that the traitor will make a move on her...in your absence...so to speak?**_

 _That is worrisome, but I'm more worried about how I promised her to find her family. I can't break that promise. I will not break it._ _So, please, no more memories...or dreams...I just want to go back...to the painful reality...back to...my...erm Rey...and family. Mom would kill me if I didn't come back...she's waiting for me...to come home..._

 _ **KR: True, but you can't go back yet...you still need the real truth...you asked for it remember...**_

 _Okay, but can you please cherry pick some...nice memory this time? Real memory...and make it quick!_

 _ **KR: I'm afraid not... I already offered you much better world...now it's time for the pain...**_

 _Urgh...you suck! More pain?!_

 _ **KR: Hey, I'm just a messenger...please don't kill the messenger...you need this...trust me...pain helps you heal...**_

 _Does not! I don't need more misery, thank you very much. I have had enough of it!_

 _ **KR: But, you asked for the truth and since you insist on being so stubborn. Here at last you will see why all of this was just a dream...thanks to a very cool memory, that happened the day after you had this dream, where you wrecked Luke's office...**_

 _Wrecked..? Cool...really? Dream?_

 _ **KR: You will see...you will see...**_

 _I will see...I will see..._

* * *

 _Next up: The dark truth of the dreamworld (Little Ben/ Kylo vs. Luke)_


	23. Old fables and new

_AN: Thank you so much for the support! You guys rock so much! Sorry for the delay, next chapter won't be too far behind...I hope...I had way too much fun writing Luke and mini Ben (obviously not canon...or maybe some), so it much, much, longer than I first intended and many more chapters...but there is a point to all this...you will see...Kylo has a (very strange) plan!_

* * *

Chapter twenty three: Old fables and new

 _Little Ben stood in the doorway to his uncle's office and watched where his uncle crouched next to Artoo and put something inside him. For someone who was supposed to be force sensitive, it took his uncle an awful long time to notice that he was being watched. It wasn't until Artoo pointed it out by beeping, that his uncle jumped up, startled as if he was expecting Ben to steal whatever secret he had put into the trusty droid._

" _Ben, don't scare me like that. Go back to bed." His uncle flicked his finger to to close the sturdy door on him, but Ben jumped inside before it closed with a hiss._

 _His uncle groaned when he saw he wouldn't get rid of him that easily. "This better be important. I'm very busy. I have to finish this tonight." He sat down behind his wooden desk to go through stack of datapads while Artoo, rolled over to the furthest corner in the room and went into low power mode to sleep._

 _The rain hit the window frantically, like it was trying to break in or trying to break people out the academy, which was something Ben wouldn't mind, but that wasn't on his mind this minute as he surveyed, what he felt was the most Jedi unlike office in history, with a desk, sofa and bookcases. The only thing that were remotely Jedi-like were some ancient Jedi relics, sitting on bookshelves or hung up on the wall, which his uncle had collected during his years travelling around the galaxy, while looking for the first Jedi temple until he decided to give up on the endless search and build the new Jedi order instead, which so far only consisted of young, mostly bratty kids or adolescents._

 _However, Ben didn't care about any of those things, as there was one item in the room that held him captivated. An ancient lightsaber with a crossguard hung on the wall behind his uncle's desk and each time he had stepped into this office, he always felt drawn to it, most likely because of the strange red kyper crystal inside of it, as red was his favorite color. In fact Ben had based his toy saber on that design and even though his uncle was far from happy with that choice, he allowed it as it was only a toy._

 _Mesmerized Ben walked towards the ancient saber and he didn't wake up from his trance until his uncle snapped at him._

" _Don't touch that!"_

" _Sorry..." Ben jumped away from the saber like he had burned himself._

" _You might lose an arm." His uncle patted his robotic hand that was hidden under a black glove._

 _Ben was never quite sure if his uncle meant that he could lose an arm since he was untrained or because his uncle would literally chop his arm off, if he would touch that precious artifact. So far he hadn't dared to see which one it was and he was not about to do that now, since he wanted to have his uncle in a good mood._

* * *

 _ **KR: That's my saber.**_

 _You stole it from Luke's office?!_

 _ **KR: Of course I did...and come on, that's not like it's the worst thing I did to him...and plan on doing...**_

 _Planned, you can't do it anymore._

 _ **KR: That's what you think...**_

 _That's what I know._

 _ **KR: That's what you think...**_

* * *

 _Little Ben sat down in a very uncomfortable chair before his uncle's desk, cleared his throat and used his cutest voice that was only reserved when he was buttering his uncle up. "Unca Luke...?"_

 _"My little padawan,_ _I have told you over and over to call me...master," said his uncle without looking from his work._

 _"Fine...master...why have you been avoiding me all day?" asked Ben and tried to keep his most polite voice._

* * *

 _ **KR: Yeah, why can't you just come out of hiding? It sure would spare me a lot of work trying to get the map.**_

 _You know that he can't do that...he took the Basha wow..._

 _ **KR: That's no excuse.**_

* * *

 _His uncle sighed tiredly, stopped working and pinched the bridge of his nose in a exhausted manner. "I wasn't avoiding you. I've just been busy. You are not my only padawan you know...but you kind of are my favorite." He gazed at him seriously over his desk._

" _Favorite?" Ben looked surprised at him._

* * *

 _Favorite?_

 _ **KR: Obviously that has changed after you ruined his school and send him into hiding...**_

 _But I was always making trouble for him...still is..._

* * *

 _His uncle smirked. "Yes, though some days I really want to kill you.." He waved his hands frantically when the scared look on Ben's face. "Not literally of course, I love you too much, so you have to take care of your health and go back to your dorm...son." he said the last part sternly._

" _Son? I thought Jedi weren't allowed to have any attachments," said Ben snidely and stood up to pace around the room, as he didn't want to sit too long in that uncomfortable chair._

 _His uncle mouth twitched as he tried to come up with a good answer without contradicting his teaching material. "Well, you are the chosen one, my nephew and surrogate son. It's hard not to have you as my favorite. Great things awaits you...if you would just focus on your training and instead of troublemaking..."_

" _What are you doing...?" asked Ben, as he flopped himself onto the comfy sofa beside the desk and made himself at home, by pulling a blanket over himself._

" _None of your business, young padawan. Now, make this quick and go back to your room. You are supposed to be sleeping," snapped his uncle as he tried to get back to work._

" _How come you are up so late? Do you have any idea what time it is? Sleep is important, you know...master," Ben grinned and his uncle shot him a stern look._

" _Don't talk back to your master. The nerve..." He shook his head and sighed._

" _I'm a nerve-herder." Ben snickered, delighted by his own joke while his uncle didn't seem to be the slightest amused._

" _Get it...? I just replaced eff with vii..."_

 _His uncle stopped him before he could finish the explanation. "I know. Very funny. But you better not have come here just to tell me this...joke." He scowled at him in his best strict teacher/ headmaster manner which made Ben gulp._

" _No...of course not..."_

" _Then why did you come?" snapped his uncle, impatiently despite him always lecturing Ben to be patient._

" _Did you know mom and dad often called me that? Ben smiled fondly._

" _What?"_

" _A little nerve-herder...when I got on their nerves...but also when they were just jesting...I miss them..." Ben hung his head sadly and finally his uncle understood why he was there in the first place.  
_ " _I know that you are homesick, but you can't go home yet and especially not in the middle of the night," said his uncle softly._

 _Ben glowered at him. "You don't get to decide that."_

 _His uncle looked at him outraged. "Excuse me, I'm your master."_

" _You are not my father."_

" _I have the full authority here," pointed his uncle out._

" _Dad told me I could go home anytime I want," said Ben in kind of bragging voice, like he believed his father ruled the galaxy or at least his destiny._

" _That's wrong. I get to decide when your training is complete," said his uncle like only he was in control of Ben's destiny._

" _Why?"_

 _His uncle looked at him in disbelief. "Why...? Because I'm your master. When will you ever get that into your stubborn little head...?" He pushed the chair from his desk and advanced on him like he was going to throw him out of his office for being rude._

" _I never asked you to be my master." Ben jumped off the sofa when he saw his uncle's intention, but his uncle caught him easily mid air with the force before he could escape." Hey!"_

" _You don't have a choice," said his uncle firmly as he force pulled him into his arms. "Bed, now."_

* * *

 _ **KR: I chose the supreme leader as my master...no Vader!**_

 _I don't want any master..._

 _ **KR: You just want your dad.**_

 _No...I want Rey...she's the only one I need._

 _ **KR: Yeah right...**_

" _Wait! Can I call dad?" yelled Ben desperately when his uncle carried him with a thunderous expression to the door._

 _ **KR: Told ya, I know you better than yourself...**_

 _I was a kid..._

 _ **KR: Is a kid...**_

* * *

" _No," said his uncle firmly._

" _Why not?"_

" _It's too late, it's in the middle of the night."  
_ " _I don't care."_

" _He cares. I care. Your mother cares." His uncle put him down beside the door, opened it up with a flick of his fingers and gestured him to leave._

" _I just want to go home..." said Ben pleadingly._

" _You can't. Stop asking for the impossible, go now or I will carry you like a little baby to your room. I'm busy right now." His uncle went over to his desk to fetch the datapads and one by one, he put them inside Artoo, who woke up to do his master's bidding._

" _I...why do you use Artoo for everything? He's not a file cabinet, you know..." said Ben, when his uncle had finished loading Artoo who rolled out the door to deliver the datapads to someone or do something, Ben had no idea, as the secrecy surrounded this was too much._

" _It's much safer that way. I would trust him with my life," replied his uncle._

* * *

 _Yet, he didn't keep the map to his hideout in Artoo but instead gave it to stupid Lor San Tekka who gave to stupid Poe who hid in stupid BB-8..._

 _ **KR: I bet the rest of it is in Artoo.**_

 _Rest...?_

 _ **KR: You didn't really think that stupid BB-8 has the whole map? How dumb do you think your uncle is...?**_

 _Erm...you never said anything else..._

 _ **KR: Not that it matter, we have part of the map back at the First Order.**_

 _You do...?_

 _ **KR: So I only NEED the rest of map from BB-8 and then I can skedaddle back to the First Order!**_

 _You are not getting it._

 _ **KR: I will get it...no matter how long it takes...**_

 _Have fun waiting then._

 _ **KR: Oh, I will have fun...at your expense!**_

* * *

" _Wait, why are you still here? Go now," said his uncle sternly. "I warned you...don't test me..."_

" _I can't sleep..." said Ben in his most pitiful voice and his uncle stern teacher frown disappeared instantly and turned to a fatherly worry._

" _Aww, that's too bad. You came here for a bedtime story? Why didn't you say so from the start?" He closed the door with a flick of his fingers and Ben snorted. "No...I'm way too old for that." He turned his head away from him to hide his real feelings._

" _Do you want a bedtime story...?" His uncle took his chin and moved his head gently forward, as he saw right through him.  
_ " _Yes, please...I mean..I wouldn't mind...a little story...if you have time that is..." Ben twitched his nightrobe nervously in his hand._

" _I have some time." Luke took Ben's shoulders and steered from the door and back to the sofa._

" _You do?" said Ben surprised that anyone really had any time for him, except for maybe Threepio. "I thought you had some work to do."_

 _His uncle lifted him up on the sofa and pulled the blanket over him. "You are far more important, son, but I will only tell you one on the condition that you will asleep during it...or after but no talking afterwards." He put a pillow under his head and Ben nodded solemnly, as he really wanted some quality time with him and be somewhere he could be safe from the darkness._

" _Good, then I will tell you the story of how I met your mother, son," said his uncle smiling as he sat down next to him on the sofa and thought back to that time._

* * *

 _ **KR: That sounded like the beginning of a hookup story...**_

 _Shut up, he didn't know she was his sister..._

 _ **KR: That was all Obi's and Yoda's fault...for separating them...hey maybe that's what happened to you and Rey...**_

 _That's so stupid, why would my parents need to hide her from me...? I was away in training when she was born...oh no..._

 _ **KR: See...she could be your...**_

 _NO! NO! I'm not listening! It's far more likely...that she's Luke's daughter._

 _ **KR: Why is that more likely...?**_

 _Erm...if anyone would just leave a child stranded somewhere...it would be him._

 _ **KR: Why...?**_

 _I don't know...maybe he didn't like her mother or something...how should I know?_

 _ **KR: OR too busy with you.**_

 _Me...? Why wouldn't he be paying attention to his own offspring instead...?_

 _ **KR: What if...? He even called you son...**_

 _No! That's only because I'm...or rather was his surrogate son...he must have disowned me a long time ago. He was always thinking about bringing up the next chosen one and for some reason, he thought I was the next one...could he have left Rey behind because of something stupid like that...? Yeah, he definitely would...stupid uncle..._

 _ **KR: Someone is bitter.**_

 _I thought you hated him._

 _ **KR: Well..we have a...complicated relationship...I can't really hate Vader's son...though I prefered to have been Vader's son, but you had to be born way too late!**_

 _Yeah, yeah...not sure how I could have become Vader's son though just be being born earlier..._

 _ **KR: Or well I would. It's our destiny.**_

 _Hmm...so stupid..._

 _ **KR: You're stupid. I don't think Luke even knows her...that is Rey...personally...**_

 _You are right, this is all too farfetched. Rey even thought he was a myth. Personally?_

 _ **KR: He could've heard about her...**_

 _Okay...that doesn't make any sense. Anyway, uncle is long over that heart...headache...with my mom..._

 _ **KR: I doubt that...no one can just get over something like that...maybe that's why he's such a prick...**_

 _Perhaps...but he wasn't a prick...all the time...was he...?_

 _ **KR: He was, trust me.**_

 _Nope._

* * *

" _No! Not that story. You have told me that story a million times," said Ben annoyed that he chose to tell that story out of every story he could tell._

" _But it's a cool story," whined his uncle, as if it was his favorite story of all time._

" _It's getting old," said Ben merciless, as he not just heard it from his uncle, but also from his parents, Chewie, Threepio, Lando, though he didn't come into the story until much later and even Artoo had beeped it to him, though he didn't understand the droid but from his happy beeping was certain that was what he was telling me. So Ben heard all the versions of it, from all different points of view, from the same people more than twice and had a long time ago gotten sick to death of it._

" _I chose a story that you were familiar with, so you would be lulled into sleep because of the familiarity of it. Nothing too exciting or new..._ _son," said his uncle defensibly but Ben shook his head with crossed arms and a frown._

" _I don't want that story."_

* * *

 _Hmm...it's that what you are trying to do?_

 _ **KR: I don't know what you are talking about...but I'm falling asleep here...listening to stupid Luke droning on...and on...**_

 _Yeah, what's the point? I have far more important things to do that to listen to some bedtime story, can't we just leave?_

* * *

 _His uncle gave up on trying to convince him. "Fine, what kind of story do you want then?"_

" _A Vader one." Ben face lit up with excitement._

* * *

 _ **KR: Nice choice! Now, I'm wide awake!**_

 _Great...now we will never leave..._

* * *

" _Vader? You know I can't do that..." His uncle looked greatly taken aback by his request._

* * *

 _ **KR: Aww, come on! I was starting to like you!**_

 _Liar..._

 _ **KR: Just a bit...**_

* * *

" _Why not? I'm only interested in the fighting..." asked Ben surprised. "Mom's not here." He added._

" _It's way too dark..and complicated for a bedtime story," said his uncle and wrapped the blanket around Ben's shoulder. "I changed my mind. Just go to sleep." He retreated back to his desk to continue working or pretend working. "Good night."_

 _Even though his uncle looked so panic stricken all of sudden, Ben just scoffed. "Dark? Give me a break...so it's wasn't dark when mom was tortured, had her home planet blown up, your uncle and aunt were burned alive, your Jedi master was killed by Vader or how you blew up the Deathstar that was filled with innocent people." He sat up and threw the blanket of him on the floor in anger._

" _Hey, I had to take out the Deathstar. It was dangerous," said his uncle, who picked the blanket from the floor and frowned at him sternly. "You are not getting a Vader story."_

" _Aww!" whined Ben._

* * *

 _ **KR: You suck Luke!**_

 _He really should've just told me the truth from the start. What did he think would happen? It can't be worse than what did happen..._

 _ **KR: Stupid Luke, I want a Vader story!**_

* * *

" _But, you're right...I...or rather we have to tell new stories...not to mention my story didn't end so well for me..." said his uncle deep in thought, as he gave Ben the blanket back and drew up a chair to be closer to him._

" _Because you lost to Vader...?"  
His uncle looked up startled by the question. "No, I'm not talking about that...I was talking about our last fight which I didn't lose...I won! Kind of..." _

_To Ben's surprise his uncle's eyes were filled with such great sorrow, that he knew there was something more to this story than just winning a tough fight, so he asked._

" _How did you win?"_

* * *

 _ **KR: Duh, he gave temporarily into the darkside...the only way to beat someone stronger than yourself.**_

 _I don't think that's true..._

 _ **KR: Vader told me that's how Luke beat him, which means it's true.**_

 _Of course it does..._

* * *

" _You don't need to know to know that, it's forbidden," said his uncle and leaned over him. "It's naughty asking these questions. Just go to sleep." He flicked his forehead teasingly._

" _Ow..." Ben rubbed the sore spot. "Why? Mom's not here, you can tell me. It might help me later," said Ben, but his uncle shook his head._

" _You are too young for it now. One day...and I said no Vader story." He frowned at him for keep trying to trick him into telling him one. "Sleep. Listen to the rain, it's so soothing." His uncle closed his eyes as he listened to the raindrops hitting the roof and the window and took a deep calming breath. "Breathe. Just breathe."_

 _However Ben had no longing to mediate, so disobeyed his uncle and asked. "What did you mean then...by it didn't end that well for you? Aren't you doing well today? Isn't this academy what you dreamed of...?" Ben spread out his arms to show him how big the academy was or just his office. "What happened?"_

 _His uncle sighed, when he heard that Ben was not meditating. "It's complicated..." He opened up his eyes to look deep into his. "Just sleep...my child."_

* * *

 _ **KR: Obviously, he's talking about the fact that the love of his life turned out to be his twin sister...**_

 _That must have sucked...but it's my mother, please don't put her and my uncle together, it's gross!_

 _ **KR: Let's say hypothetically if Rey turned out to be your sister or rather your half sister, how would you react?**_

 _Why are you asking that? It would be horrible! I would be going through the same shit as uncle! Falling for a girl I'm related to! Unthinkable!_

 _ **KR: So you would not even welcome her into your family...the poor girl who has no family? You would abandon her? Meaaan...**_

 _I never said that..._

 _ **KR: But you implied it...**_

 _NO! I would of course keep on protecting her...it would just suck...but I guess I would get over it...eventually..._

 _ **KR: Right.**_

 _But it's so farfetched! So I don't even have to worry about that possibility._

 _ **KR: Right...**_

 _You are scaring me...is there something you know...?_

 _ **KR: Well...I'm not telling...**_

 _Jerk._

* * *

" _Well, this isn't my dream." Ben crossed his arms with a pout and his uncle tousled his hair._

" _I know, but you have to make your own story. Have your own adventure."_

" _Adventure? I'm stuck here with you...what kind of a adventure is that?" snapped Ben and batted his hand away. "And I'm stuck inside while it rains...and I can't wake up until the darkness has gone," said Ben dramatically. "I can't go home until then...I'm stuck...wherever I go."_

" _Sometimes you have to start from a different place than you intended. I never dreamed of becoming a Jedi, let alone a master!" His uncle suddenly grinned from ear to ear like a little kid and put a comforting hand on his shoulder, but Ben moved it away._

" _Yes, it was a great leap from being a moisture farmer. Everything is better than that!" yelled Ben annoyed that his uncle was comparing his exciting adventure to this deadly boredom._

" _And isn't being a Jedi better than being a smuggler...?" pointed his uncle out._

" _No."_

" _But isn't this better than being stuck in a classroom...?" continued his uncle and hoped Ben would be won over by that._

" _No, this is worse than school because I can't even go home after class," snapped Ben at him._

" _You know why you can't go home and this like a boarding school. Don't forget that," said his uncle who had lost all humor._

" _Can I go home during the holidays?" asked Ben._

" _Erm..." Luke looked lost for words and Ben scoffed._

" _I thought not, this sucks!"_

 _A short silence followed Ben's words, until his uncle had enough and he shocked Ben, by ripping the blanket of him and taking hold of his hands._

" _I changed my mind, you will go back to your room now." His uncle dragged him of the sofa and to the door again._

" _No, why...?" Ben dragged his feet to postpone the inevitable, but his uncle just lifted him up and carried him the rest of the away._

" _You are way too naughty."_

" _I'm not naughty!" Ben punched his uncle's back in fury. "Let me go!"_

" _You don't listen to anything I say, that's the definition of naughty. I told you to go to sleep and you are even more awake than before!"_

" _Hey, that's not fair! Let me down!"_

" _No, you are going back to your room." His uncle used his Ben free hand to flick his fingers to open up the door._

" _NO!" shouted Ben._

" _No?" His uncle was about to scold him harshly for continue defying him like this, until he saw how the small frame starting shivering in his strong hold. "Are you crying...?"_

 _Luke held him in front of him and was shocked to see that his little nephew had indeed turned off the waterworks._

" _You said you had time for me...you lied...no one has any time for me..." Ben sniffed miserably and his uncle bit his lower lip with a guilty look and petted his head awkwardly, like he was trying to find the off button to switch off his crying._

* * *

 _ **KR: You are always crying...**_

 _Well..it worked...he didn't throw me out..._

* * *

" _I...I said I had time for one story."  
_ " _That hasn't started yet," pointed Ben out, his uncle sighed, closed the door once more with the force and steered him back into his office.  
_ " _Because you didn't allow me to start one...the right one I mean." He went over to his desk, put Ben on top of it, opened a drawer, found a handkerchief and wiped his nephew's teary face. "There, better?" He put the handkerchief into his pocket after use and hugged him close. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you kid. I love you too much, you know that. I'm just thinking of what's best for you..." When Ben still didn't answer, he added: "If I allow you to sleep in here, can you promise me you will to go to sleep now...without a story?"_

" _Can't you just make up a new story...since all of the most interesting are off limits? A new one that I'm allowed to hear? Please..." said Ben, who had not given up on getting his promised bedtime story._

" _I'm too tired, Ben," his uncle took a seat behind his desk and hid his head in hand as he tried to come up with an alternative way to deal with his nephew than killing him, so he could get some sleep this night._

" _You are always tired," said Ben, who jumped of the desk, crossed his arms and frowned at him menacingly._

 _His uncle lifted his hands from his hands. "Running a Jedi school takes energy...and on top of that I have to deal with you."_

" _And I have to deal with you," snapped Ben back._

* * *

 _ **KR: Nothing has changed then.**_

 _I'm not dealing with him right now..._

 _ **KR: Not directly, but we have the map...or we could have the map...it's so close...**_

* * *

" _Ben, I'm too tired to argue right now. Let's talk tomorrow, okay?" pleaded his uncle and looked longingly at the sofa, but Ben was merciless, as he ran a finger over the dusty desk and asked: "Why do you even have a desk...it so un-Jedi like."_

" _You want to train in a...cold swap. Is that it?" snapped his uncle and glared at him as if he was thinking of dumbing on a next swap planet. "Because that's what I had to do...and I can tell you that sucked."  
Ben backed away. "No, no...just..."_

" _Just what..?"_

" _It might be cooler...but it doesn't have to be a swamp...just somewhere outside...in a bright and warm place...this is too gray and boring."  
_ " _A Jedi training is not supposed to be cool. We have a grassfield...isn't that enough outdoors?" His uncle pointed out the rainy window._

" _But it's raining outside...and it's been raining for days now." Ben pouted. "I want to go home. It doesn't rain like this there."  
_ " _Stop whining, it's only been raining for two days and this would be way, way worse in a swap. In fact instead of whining, you should use this opportunity to write your essay. I'm still waiting for it, you know...for ruining all the padawan robes...with black paint...in fact, you were supposed to deliver it today. So where is it? Did you come here to bring it to me?" asked his uncle, even though he knew that was not the case._

 _Ben suddenly found his feet the most interesting thing in the world. "No..."_

" _Have you started it yet?" pressed his uncle on, even though he already knew the answer._

" _No..."_

" _Why not?"_

 _Ben leveled his uncle with his most hateful glare."This is exactly like stupid school. You are making me write an essay as a punishment. This is no adventure. This sucks. I want to go home!" He stomped his feet all over the floor in frustration._

" _Stop that!" thundered his uncle as he stood from his seat. "You will wake everyone up!"_

" _No, you will with your shouting," countered Ben and if looks could kill, Ben would have died right there._

" _Sorry...master. I will stop..." said Ben._

" _Take a seat, young Skywalker." His uncle pointed at the chair in front of his desk._

" _Skywalker?"_

" _Just do as I say."_

 _Ben sat down and braced himself nervously from the lecture that was about to come._

" _Now, listen carefully young padawan. Not every adventure is fun. You can go an adventure when you are older...after you have had a proper training to able survive one..." Something dawned on his uncle, who suddenly opened up the desk drawer, to take from it a notebook and pen. "In fact, I'm changing the punishment essay. I want you to make up your own adventure and write how you would survive it by using your Jedi training. You will hand it in tomorrow night or you will wash all of the ropes without using the force, are we clear?" He handed Ben the notebook and pen, who stared between it and his uncle, confused._

" _How...survive...? Life...or die...?"_

 _His uncle takes on of his gloves to show him his robotic arm. "Like for example, how I lost my hand during my first fight with Vader. How I fell down a shaft and I was lucky that your mother found where I was hanging from a weather-vane or I would've fallen endlessly through space. How your mother was tortured, had her planet blown up in front of her, how your father was put in carbonite. Even Threepio was shot to pieces and Chewie had to put him back together. And despite all odds we managed to survive all of that thanks to great teamwork, or I wouldn't be able to tell you this."_

* * *

 _ **KR: Interestingly enough, all this happened because of grandpa...not in that order of course...**_

* * *

" _And all of these horrible things happened because of Vader, so do you now understand why I don't want to talk about him...? Why it is forbidden?" asked his uncle as he rolled his sleeve down again and took a seat._

* * *

 _ **KR: No!**_

* * *

" _But you are keeping me here because you are afraid I will turn into a mini Vader and yet you won't tell me anything, that might help me not do that, " said Ben accusingly and his uncle reached over his desk to give him a little pat on the head._

" _I will give you all the information you need. Don't worry." He sat back in the chair._

* * *

 _ **KR: Liar.**_

* * *

" _And didn't Vader...kind of save you when the emperor electrocuted you...? You would've died if not for him...changing his heart at the last minute...for some reason. Why did he change his mind? The history hologram gave no reason. What's missing? Why did he suddenly grow a conscience? I thought he lost to you in a fight," asks Ben and his uncle stiffens._

" _I don't know and stop asking about him."_

" _How did you survive being electrocuted like that? Didn't your organs suffer any critical damage?" ask Ben and his uncle suddenly find the window most interesting._

" _Erm...I guess I'm just that strong."_

* * *

 _ **KR: I've been electrocuted. It's no big deal.**_

 _BB-8 doesn't count._

 _ **KR: I'm not talking about him.**_

 _Oh...who then...?_

 _ **KR: If you had to guess.**_

 _Snoke...?_

 _ **KR: I'm...not telling...**_

 _You poor thing..._

 _ **KR: Shut up.**_

* * *

" _Okay...but can I write about if I had to survive a fight with the emperor or Vader...?" asked Ben and put his pen to the paper as if he was thinking of starting writing that right away._

* * *

 _ **KR: Woah, that's so awesome! The Vader part, I'm not as keen as going head to toe with someone who likes to fry you. That hurt too much! Though of course I would lose to Vader...but still...so cool...**_

 _He might have killed you._

 _ **KR: He would never kill me, he doesn't kill family...that's kind of his weakness.**_

 _No, he just dismembers or tortures them or their loved ones._

 _ **KR: I can't argue with that...but he told me he was done with that...so...he wouldn't hurt or kill me. In fact he's was always very nice to me when I spoke to his helmet.**_

 _Nice...? He's a Sith lord..._

 _ **KR: But also family and always ready to listen. He said if he could he would hug me.**_

 _Okay...that's not the image I had in mind of him._

 _ **KR: Right? He's so awesome. Best granddad ever. Both nice and so cool!**_

* * *

 _The pen suddenly flew from Ben's hand and into his uncle's, who frowned at him. "No Vader. You are supposed to make up your own adventure. Just make up a new rival...it could be a girl."_

 _Ben grimaced. "Why a girl? I would never fight a girl."_

" _Why not? Girls are strong, just look at your mother."_

* * *

 _And Rey._

 _ **KR: Would you fight Rey?**_

 _No, I don't want to...and I would probably lose._

 _ **KR: No argument there.**_

* * *

" _I know that...but why would I fight a girl? Mom would kill me and dad would scold me," Ben shivered while imagining their scolding.  
_ " _You have to figure it out yourself and you two could have some cool lightsaber fight...maybe in a snowy...forest," said his uncle and nodded happy with his idea._

" _Why snow?" asks Ben._

" _The light from the sabers would be so beautiful...in the night sky," said his uncle with dreamy look, like he could just picture it, however Ben stuck his tongue out._

" _Urgh...beautiful...do want you want me to fall for this girl or something?"_

" _No."_

* * *

 _Yes, if it's Rey._

 _ **KR: I thought you weren't going to fight her.**_

 _I'm having difficult time thinking of any other girl than her..._

 _ **KR: So pathetic...she could be related to you, you know.**_

 _Shut up, you don't know that._

 _ **KR: Neither do you...**_

* * *

" _This too poetic...it sounds like a love story," said Ben wanted to throw up, as that kind of story was the grossest thing he could think of when he was ten.  
_ " _It's not a love story...you can just make that girl your sister or cousin," said his uncle bitterly as he was speaking from an experience._

" _I don't have one."  
_ " _Doesn't matter, it's fiction. At least that way it won't end up as love..." said his uncle but Ben interrupted him._

" _Why would I fight someone in my family?"_

" _Maybe you turned dark, which will never happen, but it's fiction so...or she turned dark, and you or she are trying to bring each other back to the light. Yeah, I like that. A story full of hope," his uncle nodded._

" _How is that not a love story? I would rather fight in a volcano to the death. Much cooler." Ben grinned._

* * *

 _ **KR: Yeah! Just like grandpa!**_

* * *

 _His uncle eye's widened in shock. "What! That's too dangerous. No."_

" _Come on, It's just writing. You said it just fiction, it's not like I'm going to do that."_

" _No."_

" _I can't even have fun writing...my own story..." Ben pouted._

" _Just pick a safe spot for the fighting."_

" _Can it be on a planet that going to explode? Like the Deathstar?" asked Ben innocently despite the seriousness of the question.  
_ " _What no, that's stupid. You would never do that." His uncle leaned over him with a grim look. "You will never do that or I will ground you for life."_

" _Ground me? Not detention?"  
_ " _You will be grounded in fact I can just ground you now for even thinking about it..."_

" _No, no no need...but how about on a ledge or a bridge? With a bottomless pit all around?" asked Ben and his uncle shook his head vigorously._

" _That's not safe."_

" _So you want me to lure my opponent... girl, a possible relative, who had turned dark or I had for some strange reason turned dark, to a safe spot...and beautiful spot...to fight to the death with laser swords...?" asked Ben as he tried to puzzle those strange images in his head for a coherent story that was not a love story, except for the fact they might be related._

" _No, not to the death. Never. You are family. You will fight only to defend yourself...and then you will escape by being saved by your friends. Like I was...in my first fight," said his uncle shamefully._

" _Lame...and I have no friends."_

" _Well, then you have to make some and for the fight itself, you will find a safe spot, can you do that...? In writing, I mean. No fighting in my school...unsupervised. Or you will get detention...for a month," he scowled darkly at him, but Ben only muttered. "I'm not doing the fighting..."  
_ " _What do you mean?" asked his uncle firmly._

" _Do I know that this girl is my relative when I go and fight her?" asked Ben to go back to the essay._

" _That's entirely up to you..." said his uncle with a sour look._

* * *

 _Rey is not my relative..._

 _ **KR: Then you could be in for a shock...**_

 _I'm not listening!_

* * *

" _But, I would rather go out and have my own adventure. Then I wouldn't have to make something up." Ben looked longingly out the window, even though it's raining._

" _That's off limits. Only in writing. You really should be thankful for this opportunity. I didn't get a Jedi training until I was twenty years old. When you reach that age you will be so powerful that no one can hurt you...as long as you train diligently of course...we your family want to protect you. Teach you how you can protect yourself. So you will write that essay...with your own adventure. It will be a good thinking exercise. Thinking before acting," said his uncle and look most pleased with this teaching method._

" _So no...?" began Ben._

" _Absolutely no Vader or any volcano or anything dangerous or I will call your mom and tell her what you wrote, which would make her very unhappy."_

" _Hey, that's not fair. Come on, it's just fiction," Ben thought it unfair that he was probably the only child in the whole galaxy who could get into trouble for just making things up._

" _Doesn't matter, son. Your father would be furious as well."_

 _Ben exhaled loudly when he saw there was no way to win this stupid thing. "Fine...can I at least get a lightsaber...?" His eyes rested on the ancient lightsaber on the wall behind his uncle's desk. "It might help with my writing." He added, when his uncle turned around to see what he is looking at. He turns back to him.  
_ " _Not until you have earned it...with good behaviour."_

" _Never...then."_

" _Never say never. I believe in you. And don't you dare touch that one, it's a priceless artifact. It's one of the first lightsabers ever created." His uncle said with a solemn expression._

" _Why isn't it in a museum then?"_

" _I need to research the old artifacts in order to understand our history...what the Jedi did wrong...and why they lost a long time ago."_

* * *

 _ **KR: That's easy, they did everything wrong...and still do.**_

* * *

" _Why don't you just ask grandpa?" asked Ben and his uncle stared furiously at him as if he had cursed loudly._

" _I told you to stop asking about him!"_

" _Wha...I was just asking about grandpa not Vader. Grandpa was the chosen one...right? " asked Ben innocently was surprised over his uncle's over reaction, as he knew he had tried to contact Anakin's force ghost anyway. "He should know what happened."_

* * *

 _ **KR: OF course, since grandfather killed most of the Jedi...**_

* * *

 _His uncle breathed a huge sigh of relief. "Oh...sorry...that's what you meant. My bad."_

" _What else would I mean...?"_

 _His uncle cupped his own cheek in thought. "I guess I could try to contact his force ghost...though that will be very hard or I would've already...don't worry about that, just go back to your dorm and straight to sleep, no more talking and start thinking about your essay tomorrow, not now or that will keep you up all night. In fact I will give you a whole week to write it. How does that sound? Should be plenty of time to come up with something new, we didn't discuss about."_

" _I can't...sleep...I'm scared..." admitted Ben in his smallest voice possible._

" _Of what? The dark?" His uncle sighed when Ben's only answer was his downcast face. "Are you still not getting along with the other padawans? You have to stand up for yourself, show them who's the boss."_

* * *

 _ **KR: Ironic, since you...I mean I became master of the knights of Ren...your former bullies...**_

 _Speaking of bullies, how come you are called master of Ren, if you haven't even finished your darkside training?_

 _ **KR: Erm...it's umm...I killed the last master of course...**_

 _Well...that's cheating! Not to mention wrong!_

 _ **KR: That's just how the things works! I didn't make up the rules!**_

 _Then you break the rules!_

 _ **KR: I'm always breaking the rules...well the light side ones...**_

 _I'm not talking about those rules!_

 _ **KR: I also breaks my Hux's rules...does that count?**_

 _No._

 _ **KR: But how about when I create something...I always colour outside the lines...does that count...?**_

 _No and just shut up for a moment..._

 _ **KR: Hey, you just don't ask me a question and then tell me to shut up. Don't you know the proper etiquette of interrogation? You ask to get answers!**_

 _It wasn't an interrogation...and we will never get out of here if you don't shut up!_

 _ **KR: Then stop asking me questions you dumbass!**_

 _You don't have to answer you know..._

 _ **KR: I don't like to keep you hanging..**_ _ **.**_

* * *

" _Can I sleep in here...?" Ben pointed at the sofa._

" _No, then you will never learn to stand up for yourself."_

* * *

 ** _KR: That's harsh man..._**

 _I told you he was a prick..._

* * *

" _And I would never be able to go to sleep, since you don't seem to stop talking," his uncle smirked at his own joke._

" _Hey!" yelled little Ben insulted._

* * *

 _Hey!_

 _ **KR: Actually, he, does have a point...sometimes...as you will see...**_

 _You are agreeing with Luke...?  
_ _ **KR: Only when it suits me...**_

 _Figures..._

 ** _KR: Like it will in the next part..._**

 _Next part...? So it's not over yet...?_

 ** _KR: Nope...I'm...I mean it's just getting started..._**

 _Will this never end...? Will I never return...?_

 ** _KR: No spoilers, please..._**

* * *

 _Next up: Careless words and whisper of darkness_


	24. A lesson in lying and stealing

_AN: Thank you so much for the support and your kind words! They really make my day. You guys rock! So so so sorry for the delay, I was stuck in rewriting as always plus there was some kind of an error on the site so I couldn't submit the next chapter for some days. :S Plus some personal problems...also I'm still an emotional mess after The Last Jedi. It hit me really hard, love it so much and I seriously can't wait for the Episode IX!_

 _There will be TLJ spoilers later on, but mostly I have my own answers that fits into this story (much lighter and even funny ones - Naughty nephew/padawan route! So far from canon...), especially in regards to Ben and Luke...though after the TLJ a lot of their interaction carries so much more weight now..._

 _So here is way more angsty, but also fluffy uncle-nephew/ master-padawan time...or little Ben vs. Luke...I love them all so much! This dysfunctional family... :) They all desperately need a hug! Rey included, who only wants a family..._

 _Next chapter will not be too far behind - double chapter!_

* * *

Chapter twenty four: A lesson in lying...and stealing

 _The endless rain tapped down on the roof of the academy like a crazy step dancer in Jabba's palace and for a long while was the only sound inside his uncle's office._

" _You are dismissed," said his uncle in an authoritative voice, as if he was the one who had summoned Ben to his meeting, instead of Ben being the one who barged in on him and interrupted him working and kept him endlessly awake. "You may leave now," Luke added a bit desperately, as if his nephew hadn't understood him before since he didn't move from his seat._

" _Ben, did you fall asleep? With your eyes open? Or are you just sulking?" His uncle looked worried over his desk at little Ben where he sat unmoving, like a statue, in his seat, opposite from him. Ben's hands were clasped tightly over the pen and the book he was supposed to write the punishment essay in._

" _Ben, are you okay?"_

* * *

 _No. I don't know what is happening anymore...why are we still here? What's point? I just want to go home..._

 _ **KR: Nothing has changed then...**_

 _It's a simple wish..._

 _ **KR: Yet not simple to get fulfilled.**_

 _Why not...?_

 _ **KR: You know why...if not you are even dumber than I thought...**_

 _Hmm..._

 _ **KR: Sigh, never mind, one question, you once said it was always sunny weather in the academy, but I have only seen rain in these memories...and dream...it's just for dramatic purpose or did it really rain that much?**_

 _Erm...always sunny was a bit of exaggeration or...I must have misremembered...maybe it was always raining...or often..._

 _ **KR: You don't remember anything do you? Are you a goldfish?**_

 _Hey! It was long time ago so of course I only remember just bits and pieces...seeing it all play out like this...is strange..._

 _ **KR: Strange indeed...now be quiet and allow the little you to speak to your uncle, so we can finish this...**_

 _You want me to listen...speak to Luke...? Who are you?_

 _ **KR: Shush! Your former master is waiting, show some respect.**_

 _You want me to show respect...to him...? I thought you were going to kill him?_

* * *

" _Ben, what's wrong? Whatever it is, can't it wait until tomorrow? Please..." pleaded his uncle who seemed to have trouble keeping his eyes open and his head kept drooping down on the wooden surface of his desk._

* * *

 _ **KR: Are you telling me you don't talk to people before killing them? That's just plain rude! Who raised you! So barbaric! Grandfather always let his enemies speak...well if they had anything to say except cry out it in fear, before killing them...**_

 _Oh, yeah, it seemed to me you were about to kill Lor San Tekka in the middle of his...lecture._

 _ **KR: No, he was finished, so I had done my waiting. But you had to ruin what would've been the most perfect kill! Had I only managed to kill him, you would never have awakened!**_

 _I doubt that._

* * *

" _Ben...? My child...? Are you stuck inside your head again...?"_

* * *

 _Yes...and I'm not your child!_

 _ **KR: But you are a child. Like tell me, how would you have explained to your mother you had killed her old time friend...? She would've have been so angry with you...even more than she is today...and she's going to execute you...**_

 _She not going to do that...not literally anyway...shut up! I'm listening to Luke! Like you told me to...stupid!_

 _ **KR: You never show any respect for me...what's so ever...always so rude...no respect...**_

* * *

" _Aww, come on kid. I was just joking. You are allowed to talk...just not now. Please. Come back, kid."_

 _When there was still no answer or a single movement from Ben, his uncle first made sure his nephew was still breathing by putting his own hand in front of his mouth, before sighing, standing up and looking out the rainy window behind his desk._

 _Every time Ben disappeared into his head like that, his uncle, without fail, had him just mope in peace, which was the complete opposite of his parents who always grew extremely frightened and did everything to get him back. Which often had let to Ben getting his most ridiculous commands fulfilled, until his uncle advised his parents to stop reward this "bad" behavior with attention, as he was only sulking and not doing anything dangerous or so his uncle thought. The truth was that more often than not, Ben was getting strength from the darkside, when he couldn't cope with something that was happening. It was hard to tell if that was the case now, however, just as Luke knew the best way to deal with him, Ben knew how his uncle would react to his temporary withdrawal, and as soon as his uncle turned his back on him, Ben started snooping around his desk, by using the force._

 _He carefully opened the desk drawers, nearly soundlessly and the frantic rain outside certainly helped mask the searching sound. Thankfully, his force sensitive uncle was too tired to sense anything or even if he did sense something, didn't seem to pay it much mind as it wasn't any danger._

* * *

 _ **KR: What in the Jedi are you looking for...?**_

 _I don't remember...maybe that's the answer I'm looking for...why we are still here...and why I even went to his office in the first place...instead of just going to sleep...like a good little boy..._

 _ **KR: You don't sneak around like that, it's rude. Why don't you just ask him to give whatever you want?**_

 _Oh, yeah? Would you do that?_

 _ **KR: Of course...but if that doesn't work, there is always torture...**_

 _Of course there is..._

 _ **KR: I would have just asked him but he went into hiding from me...**_

 _What do you need from him?_

 _ **KR: His life.**_

 _Okay, that's way too creepy._

* * *

" _Hopefully it will stop raining tomorrow, then you can wash the robes outside under the sun. Have a fun little outing. Ah, you are back." His uncle turned away from the window and smiled at Ben, who in nick of time, managed to make it look like he hadn't just been rummaging through his uncle's desk with the force. The only evidence of that search, was a comm-link that had appeared on the desk, too far away from Ben to just reach over and grab it._

* * *

 _A comm-link? That was what I was looking for...? What for?_

 _ **KR: Hmm...**_

* * *

" _Sounds boring..." Ben pouted both over imagining that as well as the fact that he was so close to get what he wanted. He got off his chair still holding onto the book and pen, as he tried to get closer to the comm-link without his uncle finding out._

 _Even though his uncle seemed to be oblivious to him going through his desk, he still glowered at him for his choice of words. "It's a punishment, it's not supposed to be fun."_

" _Nothing is..." muttered Ben under is breath, as he put the book and pen down on top of the comm-link too both free his hands and hide the comm and he slowly hooked under his hands under the book to pick the comm-link up, without being seen._

 _He froze in mid reach when his uncle suddenly grabbed him as if he was on to his plan._

 _Thankfully, his uncle only had him sit on top of his desk, which was an annoying thing he often did if he really wanted to grab his nephew's attention and he scolded him:"If you would behave, things would be much more fun. Trust me. Now sit there and think about that truth for a while. Stop trying to ruin the academy, go to sleep when I tell you and stop worrying, trust me to protect you and stop being a naughty little padawan. Can you do that?"_

* * *

 _ **KR: You will just be BIG naughty padawan then...**_

 _You found a loophole in his lecture..._

 _ **KR: Yebb, a glaring one...except you never stopped being a naughty little padawan either, so nothing changed really...**_

 _Oh...you have a point..._

* * *

" _Yes...master." Ben, who always hated being put on the cold desk like that as a punishment, as it made him feel like a naughty toddler which was probably why his uncle did it, blushed being lectured like that, but at the same time couldn't help staring at the comm-link hidden under the book and pen, that was suddenly beside him. Now the only problem was getting it, without his uncle seeing him do it._

" _Are you going to behave now? My little padawan?" His uncle pinched his cheek for a good measure._

" _Yes, master..."_

" _I knew you would." His uncle smiled happy as if he is at last getting through to his stubborn pupil, patted his head and took the book and pen from Ben arms before he could stop him. "Now, let's put these in your bag..." His voice trailed of and his uncle furrowed his brows in confusion when he noticed comm-link land on his desk with a thud._

" _Was that comm-link always there...?" Luke looked between the link and his nephew, who quickly turned away, even though the gig was already up. "Ben, do you know anything about this...?" He put the book and pen in Ben's bag._

" _No..." muttered Ben into his lap and cursed internally over his failed plan._

* * *

 _ **KR: Don't lie. He's on to you. You will only make it worse.**_

 _You of all people have no right to lecture me!_

* * *

" _Are you sure?" pressed his uncle. "Look at me."_

" _Yes," responded Ben without meeting his eyes._

" _I said look at me." He lifted his chin up so he had no other choice then to obey him._

" _You better not be lying to me," said his uncle threateningly like otherwise he had his mother on speed dial and he pointed at the comm-link by his side, as if he was thinking of using it._

" _I'm not," replies Ben._

" _You know people get hurt if you lie," said his uncle in his most serious teacher-uncle voice._

* * *

 _ **KR: That's rich coming from someone who didn't tell us the Vader was our grandfather!**_

 _And he's right...people did get hurt because of that lie..._

 _ **KR: And another...**_

 _What lie...? Uncle lied about something else...?_

 _ **KR: Your whole life is a lie.**_

 _Sigh...I'm not listening to you..._

 _ **KR: And you will regret that...**_

* * *

" _Can I get this comm-link?" Ben pointed innocently at the comm without even acknowledging his uncle's lecture._

" _No...what do you want it for?" His uncle paused as he came to some kind of realization and furrowed his brows in worry. "Do you think you need this to contact me in case the little knights of Ren try something? Ben, you know you can just send me a distress call through the force and I will immediately come to your aid..." He gave him an encouraging smile, but Ben's next words wiped the smile off his face._

" _I want to call dad."_

 _What's wrong with little me...? It was just a stupid dream. He's never going to come for real and bring me home, why can't I just give up?_

* * *

 _ **KR: Yeah and go back to the darkside.**_

 _That's not what I meant..._

* * *

" _Your father...? To do what? You want him to protect you from the little knights? He doesn't even know how to use a lightsaber. He doesn't have the force," scoffed his uncle._

* * *

 _Is he mocking my father? I thought they were best friends..._

 _ **KR: Jealousy.**_

 _What reason would Luke have to be jealous of my...none forcesentive...but somewhat cool...idiot father...?_

 _ **KR: He has your mother...**_

 _STOP SHIPPING MY MOTHER WITH LUKE!_

 _ **KR: And you.**_

 _Me...are you shipping me...with...blergh...I knew you were evil but this...!_

 _ **KR: NO! You know what I mean. What Luke wants.**_

 _No I don't._

 _ **KR: Then it will become painfully obvious...**_

 _You know nothing..._

 _ **KR: Oh...do I...?**_

* * *

 _His uncle grew flustered as the weight of his words just hit him and he quickly corrected himself. "Erm...I didn't mean that your father isn't great...it's not his fault he isn't forcesensetive. No, what I meant is that he can't protect you from those who are... or have lightsabers. Not even little kids. That's why you were sent here...to protect you from those things. I can protect you." He patted his head, but as Ben was in no mood for petting he batted his hand away and grumbled._

" _I don't care. I just remembered something and I need to tell dad something important..." said Ben with a mysterious expression._

* * *

 _Important...? Dad...? What could that be?_

 _ **KR: Probably something stupid.**_

 _But why dad...? Of all people...?_

* * *

" _What's that?" His uncle looked like he was all ears, but Ben shook his head._

" _It's a secret."_

" _Then it can't be that important," pointed his uncle out._

" _It's very important!"_

" _Then tell me," pleaded his uncle._

" _No."_

" _Ben..."_

" _It's just between me and dad, okay. But also want him to bring me home. I will protect myself from the things he can't."_

 _His uncle huffed and gave him a one armed hug. No you can't. You are safe here. And home...what home? They are never home. But I'm here with you..."_

 _Ben pushed him away. "I don't care. I want to go home." He folded his arms and put up his most stubborn expression._

 _His uncle sighed when he saw he wouldn't budge. "Ben, you know you can't do that..."_

" _Why not?"  
_ " _Because I said so..." His uncle frowned at him._

" _Dad said I could call any time I want and go home whenever I wanted."_

" _Well, that is wrong."_

* * *

 _Yeah, when did dad ever say that? It was just a stupid dream._

 _ **KR: You are stupid..**_

 _What?_

 _ **KR: Nothing.**_

* * *

" _Why couldn't dad just bring me home yesterday? What did you say to him? I told you not say anything stupid!" yells Ben and pushes his uncle, who doesn't move a inch._

" _I didn't say anything stupid to him..."_

* * *

 _What is he leaving unsaid?_

 _ **KR: That he never came to get you...so stupid...**_

 _Stop calling me stupid!_

* * *

" _Yes, you did! I want to go home!" shouts Ben and jumps on the desk. "You suck!"_

 _His uncle grabs him and forces him to sit down again. "Don't you dare raise your voice at me. Did you try to steal this...?" Luke gives him his most intense Jedi stare to get him to confess to his crimes._

" _No..."_

* * *

 _ **KR: Nice, you didn't break down under interrogation!**_

 _I guess..._

 _ **KR: And you are not even wearing a helmet!**_

 _I need to wear a helmet?_

 _ **KR: It helps...then no one can see your puppy eyes...**_

 _I'm not a puppy...I mean I don't have puppy eyes!_

* * *

" _Let me rephrase that, did you steal this so you could call your father and ask him to take you home, despite me telling you over and over, that it's impossible...?" His uncle glared harder at him and Ben's barrier started to crumble a little under his intense stare._

" _Erm...what was the question again...?"_

 _His uncle's eyes softened a little when he saw how frightened Ben was. "Did you steal this?"_

" _No, it is on your desk," answered Ben snidely and his uncle's eyes hardened again over that flippant remark._

" _Did you use the force to lift this out of my drawer and put it on this desk...?" continued his uncle his interrogation._

" _Is that called stealing?" asked Ben innocently._

" _Yes."_

" _Then I didn't do it."_

* * *

 _ **KR: Wow, you are acting like a real politician there...your mom would be proud...**_

 _Shut up..._

* * *

" _Ben Skywalker!" thundered his uncle._

" _I'm not...!"_

 _His uncle puts a finger on his mouth. "Sush, I don't care. I only care about this." He points at the comm-link._

" _Can I get dad's number?" asked Ben in the hope of diverting the attention from the fact he...might have stolen the comm.  
_ " _I said no!"_

" _Why not?"_

" _You know why, " said his uncle in warning voice that he was bringing this up again._

" _No."_

 _His uncle closed his eyes and took a deep breath to calm himself down._

 _Ben quickly stole the comm-link from his desk and put it into his pocket._

* * *

 _ **KR: That was naughty. He will know you stole it...and then you will be in so much trouble!**_

 _You don't get to lecture me about morals..._

 _ **KR: I never steal.**_

 _No, you just kill...and torture people._

 _ **KR: But I never take their belongings.**_

 _You were going to steal the map..._

 _ **KR: The map belongs to the First Order!**_

 _What about our saber, you said you stole it from uncle's office._

 _ **KR: That saber belongs to me!**_

 _Really...? That's your answer to everything...but why did I take the comm-link? What for...?_

* * *

 _Ben jumped of the desk to get away from the interrogation. "Please, can I get his number. I'm not going to call him now...I just want his number...It's not like I have a comm-link..."_

* * *

 _ **KR: Liar.**_

 _Weird. Why do I think uncle has it...? Wait...am I going to try and call dad...?! With a stolen comm-link?! I would have gotten in so much trouble!_

 _ **KR: You should've have tried to torture him...your uncle I mean...**_

 _What!_

 _ **KR: Just saying, then this would've gone a lot faster...**_

* * *

" _You can't get it now," replied his uncle considerably calmer.  
_ " _Why?"_

* * *

 _Because he doesn't have it, stupid mini-me. Give up already...and give him back the comm-link before he finds out we stole from him..._

 _ **KR: Looks like he already noticed...**_

 _Oh no!_

* * *

" _You know why...Ben, where is the comm-link?" His uncle grabbed him before he managed to run out the door with his catch._

" _What comm-link?"  
_ " _The one I left on my desk," replied his uncle through clenched teeth and Ben knew better than to test his luck, when he was in that mood._

" _Oh...it must have fallen on the floor...yes here it is..." Ben returned the comm-link on the table and hit it once. "Bad comm-link."_

" _Don't do this again," said his uncle sternly._

" _Do what?" Ben shrugged._

" _Just go to sleep, Ben." His uncle patted his shoulder, all fight gone out of him. He handed him his bag before he flung himself onto the sofa beside the desk. "Good night."_

 _As soon as his uncle went to sleep, Ben stealthily tried to take the com of the desk._

" _Don't even try that," muttered his uncle like he suddenly had eyes in the back of his neck._

" _Try what?"_

* * *

 _ **KR: Why didn't you try to take the saber instead?**_

 _And how was I supposed to do that without uncle noticing?_

 _ **KR: You could've killed him...with the saber...**_

 _Yeah...right...do you have any idea how mad mom would've have been had I done that...or dad? Or well...I wouldn't have liked that either..._

 _ **KR: Doesn't matter, you did it later...take the saber I mean. You haven't killed him yet...**_

 _What? Oh, you mean when I turned...I stole the saber back then?_

 _ **KR: Yes, but also in this memory...**_

 _Huh? How?_

 _ **KR: You will...find out...**_

* * *

 _His uncle sat up stiffly, used the force to take the comm and pocketed it. "Please go to your room. We will discuss your...extremely bad behaviour...tomorrow." He gave Ben his most fearsome scowl which made Ben gulp._

* * *

 _ **KR: You are in so much trouble!**_

 _You are enjoying this...?_

 _ **KR: A little...**_

* * *

 _Next up: Careless actions and whisper of darkness..._


	25. Careless actions and whisper of darkness

_AN: Here is the next chapter as promised - I hope to be able to post a chapter at least once a week_ , _now when I have finished a big writing project._

 _These flashback chapters kind of feel like fillers but they are all building_ up to somewhere _..._

* * *

Chapter twenty five: Careless actions and whisper of darkness

" _I don't wanna go back to my dorm...please...I'm scared...they have lightsabers...and I don't..." Ben whispered as if he was expecting the little knights to be listening in and reached out for the ancient saber which hang over his uncle's desk, with the force._

 _However, his uncle who suddenly could tell everything he was doing, forcedragged him from the ligthsaber temptation and had him sit next to him on the sofa. "Come here, kid." He put his arm around him. "You are not getting this lightsaber. I can come with you and tell them off. Would that help?" Even though his teacher uncle had become fatherly again, that only made Ben angrier and more desperate, who shook his head._

" _No. It would make everything much, much worse...they are going to kill me...I think they are darkside. They even call themselves the little Knights of Ren. Who is this Ren? Only Ren I know of is the one who lives inside of me...and yet they won't let me join...pricks..." Ben crossed his arms over his bag and pouted over the injustice of the world._

* * *

 _ **KR: I'm not the only Ren in existence.**_

 _You aren't?_

 _ **KR: Ren Ren Ren is Ren Ren's real name...**_

 _What in the sith?!_

* * *

" _Watch your language...and it's just a name on a group. They are not darkside, I would know and they are certainly not going to kill you...I wouldn't let them. They are just fooling around, like little kids do," said his uncle and smiled, as if that gave children excuse to do bad things._

* * *

 _ **KR: Among the knights are Ren Ren, Rin Ren...Ron Rin Ren...Run Ren...Darth Kylo Ren...I hate that guy. He took the Darth name away from me! But even worse, Darth Vader Ren! Can you believe the nerve of that guy! He's my grandfather! So that name belongs to me! Only me! And they even call me Darth Tantrum or worse Darth Toddler! Can you believe it! And since I can't kill them, I have to take my wrath out on control panels which in turn raises Hux's ire who reports me to the supreme leader who...**_

 _Why didn't you just forbid them to use those names? Aren't you their master?_

 _ **KR: They always attack me as one...I mean in workplace pranking. Like daring to steal my helmet or worse grandfather's helmet and hide it somewhere! Sometimes in a dumpster or in Millicent's litter box!**_

 _Seriously, aren't you their master? Millicent?_

 _ **KR: Yes, but master mostly means, me ending up doing all the stupid paperwork and planning! And taking responsibility for everything and reporting to the supreme leader...which means getting punished...and sometimes rewarded, which really just means no punishments.**_

 _That sucks...so he doesn't even praise you when you do good?_

 _ **KR: Come on, he's darkside. Of course he doesn't...except with sarcasm...**_

 _I thought he was like a father to you?_ _ **  
KR: Doesn't your father use sarcasm a lot?**_

 _Sometimes...but does grandfather praise you when you do something good? If ever..._

 _ **KR: That's different! Of course he does! He's my grandpappy! Where was I... oh yeah, so you see without me, those idiots knight are nothing! They are so scared of the supreme leader and his guards, that they won't even come near him when he's just a hologram. They never appear before him. Bunch of wusses! Always just hiding in grandfather's castle, my castle!**_

 _Yet you still want to return to them...? And who is Millicent?_

 _ **KR: Well, yeah they are still my buddies. Even though they suck from time to time. They do have their moments...and killing together is so much fun! It's more fun to kill in a group then solo! Though wonder how it is to kill a Solo...I mean...**_

 _What?_

 _ **KR: What...? I didn't say anything...**_

 _I'm Solo._

 _ **KR: I wasn't talking about you...I mean...**_

 _You will leave all Solos out of this or suffer my wrath._

 _ **KR: I'm so scared...not! You should be scared of me!**_

 _That will never happen...and who is kriffing Millicent?_

 _ **KR: Hux's cat.**_

 _Hux has a cat...?_

 _ **KR: What do you think?**_

 _Erm..._

* * *

" _They are just fooling around..." Ben snorted and his uncle nodded._

" _Yes, I know for a fact they are really nice kids, once you to get to know them. Just a bit misguided and bit obsessed with Vader for some reason, like someone..." His uncle tousled his hair and Ben batted his hand away and fixed his hair with a frown.  
_ " _I'm not obsessed with him."_

 _I'm more obsessed with Rey..._

* * *

 _ **KR: He wasn't asking about her...and you might be talking about his daughter, you perv. Your cousin or...sister...**_

 _Hey, we don't know that! Stop crushing my dream!_

 _ **KR: I'm a realist...**_

* * *

 _Luke shook his head over Ben's denial. "Right...try to make friends with them, not through Vader obsession, that's strictly forbidden, try something nice and lightside like your grandfather the chosen one. He was cool..."_

" _But he lost," pointed Ben out._

* * *

 _ **KR: And became the coolest! Like us...I mean I did!**_

 _You are not the coolest...or well it's not that much competition these days...no Sith left..._

 _ **KR: Hey! Not cool man! You are just like those knight morons...only grandfather understands me...**_

* * *

" _Well, I picked up the pieces after him..." pointed Luke out._

" _Grandpa was in pieces...?" asked Ben._

* * *

 _ **KR: Yebb, thanks to stupid Obi-Wan!**_

 _Grandfather kind of turned evil..._

 _ **KR: Hmm...**_

 _He killed children!_

 _ **KR: Jedi children don't count...and not the sandpeople children either...**_

 _He attacked my grandmother!_

 _ **KR: Who betrayed him by bringing Obi-Wan!**_

 _Who was with a child...no children!_

 _ **KR: Obi-Wan was with a child?**_

 _No, grandmother, she was carrying Luke and mom, come on you know that..._

 _ **KR: Carrying them...in her arms? So they were born back then...?**_

 _Urgh!_

 _ **KR: Hehe. So much fun to tease...**_

* * *

" _No...I meant I had to save the galaxy...because he failed in his task." His uncle gently took his hand and led him out the door._

" _Oh..." Ben reluctantly followed his lead, with his bag in the other hand._

* * *

 _ **KR: And I'm going to finish what grandfather started!**_

 _By destroying his hard work first..._

 _ **KR: Shut up...that's not what I'm doing...I think...am I...?**_

* * *

 _Uncle and nephew walked across the dark hallway, hand in hand, to his Ben's room. Little Ben leaned closer to his uncle since he's afraid of the dark, but mostly because of the harsh wind, rain plus some unidentified sounds, creaks and something Ben had no idea what was, who were way more terrifying in the absence of light. The only light came from the moon outside which shone on them as they walked past the row of windows. Their footsteps echoed through the night._

 _A lightning struck somewhere close by and the thunderous roar made Ben jump up in fright and lean closer to his uncle.  
_ " _Ben, it's okay. You are safe and there is no need to be scared of the little knights of Ren. You are way stronger than them...you just have to learn to control the force. I will help you with that," said his uncle gently, when he saw how jittery Ben was, who was still shivering after the jump-scare._

* * *

 _ **KR: You are afraid of a lightening...what a loser...**_

 _Shut up...but clearly uncle was more focused on protecting me for something fictional in a stupid essay...than an actual...close danger I told him about! No wonder he failed me so spectacularly!_

 _ **KR: He's a bit dumb...and I'm not scared of those...idiots...or a lightening...except when it comes from...**_

 _Who...?_

 _ **KR: I have already told you whom, stop pretending to be stupid.**_

 _Oh_... _you mean_ Snoke _..._

 ** _KR: Yeah..._**

 _You poor thing._

 ** _KR: Shut up, it's your body too you know._**

 _It's just my body!_

 ** _KR: Whatever..._**

* * *

" _They don't want to be my friend." Ben pouted as they kept getting closer to his room._

" _And why's that?" asked his uncle softly and slowed their steps so both Ben could easier keep up with him and have a bit more time to talk._

* * *

 _ **KR: I'm their boss, not a friend...though they don't show me enough respect!**_

 _Even though you are Vader's grandson?_

 _ **KR: That mostly got me the master title...and a lot of work! But still it's cool to be master. The supreme leader holds me in high regards...or well did. He probably wants to torture and kill me now...slowly and in the most painful way!**_

 _Then you really shouldn't try to go back..._

 _ **KR: No, I can still fix this! I just have to get the map to the Last Jedi and...!**_

 _And what...?_

 _ **KR: Hope for the best...**_

 _And you call me delusional!_

* * *

" _I don't know..." Ben paused and stopped walking, so his uncle stopped as well. "Maybe because you always call me the chosen one and they are jealous...? I'm also your nephew and surrogate son...and you call me your favorite...the chosen one...have you told them that? They don't have any family...nearby," reminded Ben him and scowled at him for getting him in trouble with the other padawans, especially the knights._

 _His uncle shook his head and started walking again, dragging Ben along with him. "No, that's only between us...and you are all my children. I wouldn't let any harm come to any of you...and they should know that if they hurt a single hair on you, my precious surrogate son, they will meet my wrath...Jedi wrath I mean. So there is no need to worry, they are just talking big, they are not going to do anything to you. Just ignore them. Can you do that...? Son?" He patted his head._

" _I don't know..." Ben looked down dejected._

" _Then you have to be strong and figure out the answer yourself...are you sure you don't want me to talk to them?" His uncle's voice suddenly trailed off and he stared in shock at something when they at last had arrived at their destination._

 _In front of them was a big, wooden menacing door and on it, a big notice with red spidery letters like blood:"Keep out! Only for the little Knights of Ren. Anyone else will be destroyed! Especially you Ben Solo! You suck! We will bathe in your loser Skywalker blood! Darth Vader rules!"_

 _A next to it was a crude drawing of Ben with a big x over him and x in his eyes like he was dead._

" _Oh..." His uncle looked between the threatening letter and his little nephew by his side. "Nevermind, you should sleep in my office." He turned back with him, all his resolve from earlier gone._

* * *

 _A bit too late for that..._

 _ **KR: Sigh, my knights still** haven't fixed **their awful handwriting**... **you should see their reports. Ghastly! And their grammar and spelling errors! I can't tell you how many nights I had to stay up just to make their reports readable! So uncivilized...and their drawings...ugh! They really should just stick to audio reports, but no they had to make my job more difficult!**_

* * *

" _No!" Shouted Ben which made his uncle stop in his tracks._

 _"Why not...?"_

 _"You might try to kill me when I'm asleep," muttered Ben.  
_ " _What?!" yelled his uncle in shock._

* * *

 _ **KR: He did try that...**_

 _What?_

 _ **KR: You don't even remember that...?**_

 _No..I..erm...when?_

 _ **KR: When do you think...?**_

 _No idea._

 _ **KR: And that is why you fail...**_

 _Are you talking about that time when he was sleepwalking and mistook me for a wampa?_

 _ **KR: Maybe...?**_

 _Well, after that I made sure to always sleep with my lightsaber next to me..._

 _ **KR: And one eye open...**_

 _He also thought I was a rancor and even Darth Vader like he appeared to him in the cave on Dagobah..._

 _ **KR: Your uncle clearly needed some therapy...**_

 _Yeah...but I'm not sure why he kept thinking I were monsters of his past...but it sure was hurtful...and annoying having to stay on guard when I was trying to sleep!_

 _ **KR: And then you turned into a monster of his present...me...**_

 _Kind of...as a revenge for scaring the crap out of me and keeping me endlessly awake!_

 _ **KR: Among other things...**_

* * *

" _Why would I do that to you, my son?" Luke caressed his cheek and as always Ben batted his head away._

" _First of all, I'm not your son." Ben's brown eyes shot fire.  
_ " _I know that..."_

* * *

 _ **KR: You hurt his feelings...**_

 _Did not. I'm speaking the truth._

 _ **KR: That's what you think.**_

 _What!_

 _ **He always had thing for your mother...**_

 _I know that...but...stop confusing me!_

 _ **KR: But it's so much fun...and you need to know the truth!**_

 _Stop making things up!_

 _ **KR: Dude, if I were making things up I wouldn't be wasting my time with the last stupid Jedi but having a picnic with grandfather.**_

 _A picnic?_

 _ **KR: Yeah...family time...and trading stories...about the darkside of course...and the picnic would be on Mustafar, the lava planet in front of his castle, a badass picnic.**_

 _Your stupidity never ceases to amaze me..._

* * *

" _And second of all, you said that sometimes you want to kill me." Ben folded his arm with a grimace which, thanks to his small size only made him look cute despite the serious topic.  
_ " _It was a joke..." grumbled his uncle in defence, but he looked guilty nevertheless.  
_ " _It was not funny." shot Ben back.  
_ " _Sorry, you really should..." His uncle nodded his head towards his office._

" _No, I don't want to sleep in your office..."_

" _But you said..." said his uncle surprised. "These guys might kill you."_

" _Now you believe me..." Ben smirked._

" _I'm sorry."_

" _All I want is the lightsaber, a comm-link...and dad's number." Ben grinned as if he was going to get at last what he wanted. "And then I won't bother you anymore."  
To Ben surprise, his uncle dragged him to another door. "Well, you are not sleeping with those lunatics and you are not getting a comm-link or your father's number...and never the lightsaber." His uncle opened up the door and when he saw that the room was empty and nodded happy and pushed Ben inside into the dark space._

" _Why?"_

" _You know why and because you have to go to sleep now. This place is perfectly safe. Good night, sleep tight. Love you son." His uncle pressed a kiss on his head like his father and mother used to do._

* * *

 _ **KR: Ugh...you know, today he will only kiss you...with a lightsaber...**_

 _You are probably right..._

 _ **KR: Probably?! He hates you now, you know that.**_

 _Thanks to you._

 _ **KR: I will gladly take the credit for that.**_

 _But why does he...keep kriffing calling me...son?_

 _ **KR: Hmm..he called you Skywalker earlier...**_

 _No, he does not mean that by that!_

* * *

" _Stop calling me son! You are not my father." Ben yelled after him from the dark room._

" _Surrogate son, nephew, padawan...you are all those things. But most importantly the chosen one. Now get some sleep," replied his uncle without looking back and closed the door to his room with the force._

* * *

 _See...he just meant that...I just forgot the reason, even though I had already said it in the memory...wow I really need to have my head checked out...and please stop confusing me like that!_

 _ **KR: I'm not the one who is doing the confusing...**_

 _Who then...?_

 _ **KR: You are...**_

* * *

" _Wait, I know about another chosen one." Ben slammed open his door and ran after him, still clutching his bag in his hand._

" _Ben, it's too late for that discussion. Return to your room at once." His uncle glowered at him._

" _I mean it, I know about another chosen one...I mean the real chosen one..." said Ben when he caught up to him._

* * *

 _What the...am I talking about...? Do I mean that?_

 _ **KR: Perhaps...**_

* * *

" _Yeah, yeah I know there is no one who else in the academy who qualifies for that role, except you son. Now hurry back. We will talk in the morning," said his uncle without taking the bait._

" _The real chosen one is a girl."_

* * *

 _What girl...Rey...?_

 _ **KR: Now, why would you know about her many years ago...unless of course she is...**_

 _SHE NOT MY SISTER!_

 _ **KR: She could be your cousin...**_

* * *

 _His uncle turned to him. "Ben, stop this nonsense. Not that girls can't be the chosen ones, but you are the chosen one. You are the grandson of the chosen one."_

" _But she's the girl you wanted me to write about...in my essay..." Ben picked up the book from his bag, as if he was expecting evidence about her to be written there. He lifted the book dramatically into the moonlight._

* * *

 _Oh, so I just got the idea there...phew...all just a coincidence..._

 _ **KR: That's what you think...**_

* * *

" _She's fiction," said his uncle merciless and from the shocked expression on Ben's face, he could just as well have slashed him with a lightsaber._

" _No, she's not!" Shouted Ben red in face. "I feel like I know her...in fact I knows where she is...I really don't think I'm the chosen one...No, I don't want to be the chosen one. That life sucks!" He threw the book and pen at the wall. "AND SHE DOES EXIST YOU LOSER!"_

* * *

 _ **KR: You know, I have started feeling the tiniest bit sorry for your uncle having to deal with your...younger bratty self...**_

 _Well, I have a point. That life sucks..sucked!_

 _ **KR: Well, what did you expect? The chosen one always has to make great sacrifices...for the greater good...**_

 _I never asked for that life!_

 _ **KR: Chosen one...not the one who volunteered to have a shitty life...**_

 _You have a point...but Rey had a way shittier life than me._

 _ **KR: Which means she must be the chosen one...if there even is a chosen one...**_

 _Could be the chosen two..._

 _ **KR: What...?**_

 _It would put a new spin on the chosen one...me and Rey...together...as one!_

 _ **KR: Yeah...right...and that's creepy...**_

 _It's not creepy! I didn't mean that figuratively! Or did I...?_

* * *

" _You are the chosen one and nothing will change that, no matter how much you will whine about it." His uncle picked up the book and pen, put into his bag and handed it back to him. "Goodnight." He proceeded his walk._

* * *

 _ **KR: But what about after I burned the academy down...he must have changed his mind then...**_

 _Definitely..._

* * *

" _You suck!" Ben shouted after him, as his uncle's footstep kept getting farther away._

" _Language," scolded his uncle without looking in his direction._

" _I'm getting sick." Ben held his stomach._

" _You better hurry back then...and go to sleep" replied his uncle without mercy._

" _I am sick," stated Ben and keeled over dramatically._

" _Ben..." His uncle turned around and looked worried._

" _I'm cold." Ben shivered in the dark on the cold floor._

 _His unce sighed over his dramatics. "Do you want some hot cocoa or something?"_

* * *

 _ **KR: Yes, please.**_

* * *

 _Ben opened his mouth to say something._

" _Well, I'm not giving you anything," His uncle turned away from him._

* * *

 _ **KR: Mean.**_

* * *

" _Yes, you will." Ben jumped at his back. "I can take whatever I want."_

" _Ben, stop acting like such child!" Luke peeled him off his back and put him in front of him. "You are really asking for a spa...grounding, you know that?"_

" _Sorry..." Ben hugged him and used to opportunity to steal the comm-link from his pocket._

* * *

 _ **KR: Woah..brave...**_

 _What is mini me thinking?!_

 _ **KR: Way braver than you..and I can take whatever I want...whenever I want...**_

* * *

" _As long as you understand." His uncle patted his head, clueless over the pick pocketing._

" _Please, I only want answers...for my most important question." Ben gave him his best puppy eyes._

" _And what is that...? It better not involve Vader. I'm warning you...son," said his uncle in warning tone, since Ben has already crossed the line far too many times tonight._

* * *

 _ **KR: Why didn't you take up on Vader's offer, the coolest dad in the universe and later my granddad, to rule the galaxy alongside him?**_

 _That was not my question...I didn't even know about that offer at that time...or that Vader was his father! Not to mention the birth father of my sweet, but tough mother!_

 _ **KR: You still know nothing...**_

* * *

" _No, no Vader. I know better than that..." said Ben innocently._

" _That's good. I will only answer one question and then you have to go to bed. Can you promise me that?" asked his uncle softly._

" _When will dad be back?"_

* * *

 _ **KR: Pft, that's your most important question?**_

 _Well, to ten year old...me._

 _ **KR: You look as eager as him.**_

 _Well..if dad can come back, that means he did in fact come to bring me home, instead of leaving me on my own and him coming to get me was not a dream, meaning you have been lying to me this whole time!_

 _ **KR: I never lie...I only tell you what you already know...or think you know...**_

 _I thought I knew nothing._

 _ **KR: Well technically...and you don't need to know anything...**_

 _As always you make zero sense..._

 _ **KR: Why does it matter so much to you, no matter if did happen, the fact remains that your father failed to bring you home.**_

 _Well, at least I would known he had at least tried it..._

 _ **KR: So pathetic...there is no try...**_

* * *

" _Back?" his uncle stiffened for some reason._

" _Yeah, to bring me home?" asked Ben with his most innocent expression._

* * *

 _Yes, did he come here or not?_

 _ **KR: You already know the answer.**_

 _No, I don't! That's why I'm asking!_

* * *

" _I've told you again and again, that you have to finish your training first. The answer won't change no matter how often you question me, please stop asking. Return to your new room, stop worrying and go to sleep, this minute." His uncle shook his head and walked into his office. "Always so naughty. Good night." He slammed the office door in his face._

* * *

 _ **KR: Hey, that wasn't nice!**_

 _How come all of these memories happen during the night? Where everyone is telling me to go to sleep or put me to bed? Even my dreamworld had that setting. It's so annoying! I want answers! Did dad come to get me or not!? And give me his number so I can just call him already and ask! Or at least have a shot at returning home...and is the girl, Rey? How come I know about her!?_

 _ **KR: Don't you get it? You were never supposed to wake up in the first place!**_

 _Well, I did and I'm not going back to sleep...no matter how much you will try to hypnotize me..._

 _ **KR: Oh really?**_

 _Really._

 _ **KR: We will see...**_

 _No, we won't..._

 _ **KR: We will...when you see the truth of this world...**_

 _This world...?_

 _ **KR: The Last Jedi will give you your answers.**_

 _Luke?_

* * *

 _Next up: Words of darkness from a certain point of view..._


	26. Words and actions of darkness

_AN: So, so, so sorry for the delay. Thanks as always for the support. WOW! You guys rock so much! I can't thank you enough! Sadly I struggled so long with this chapter, as it never felt right and I really wanted to add in my favorite theory (which I believe will be canon - there is way too much evidence, a different spin on reverse anidala among others), but at last it's here. There is a big wink to The Last Jedi in this chapter, which still has my heart and soul (in a good way - I'm a big sucker for angst!) and won't give it back until episode 9...probably...hopefully...I need my soul please! Lol...until then I will read and write fanfiction...(my therapy for the movie and in general)_

 _We are still stuck in the past, despite Ben's desire to kill it...;) But I decided to skip using the italics to separate between the Kylo and Ben bickering and the things happening...in the past. It should be more clearer._

 _Enough with stupid blabbering, on with the way too (and bit long) late chapter!_

* * *

Chapter twenty six - Words and actions of darkness from a certain point of view

As Ben comes from a long line of stubbornness, Skywalkers, Solos, Organas, Naberries, he won't let a stupid closed door stand in the way of his goal. Despite wanting to knock the door down and burst into his uncle's office, demanding answers once and for all, he settled for polite knocking and said in a pleading voice through the thick wood. "Unca Luke."

Predictably, there was no verbal answer in the dead of night, only loud snores behind the door and the constant rain and wind banging on the window in the dark corridor. A lightning struck and Ben jumped in fright from the noise and the sudden flash of light.

Ben whimpered, he hated storms and wished, not for the first time, that he was back home with his mother who used to comfort him during those, by holding him close to her warm chest and sing for him to calm him down. Even his father, who said his son was overreacting to nothing, would talk to him and try to reason with him that there was nothing to be afraid of and sometimes tell him stories of his old adventures. Too bad some of them were even more terrifying than the raging weather outside which kind of, made Ben regret asking for his help. Yet that help, was better than no help.

Ben flicked his fingers, like he saw his uncle do to open the door. He was desperate to quickly get away before the next lightning came, like it could hurt him physically.

When the door was as unmoving as before, even before the might of the force, no matter how many times Ben flicked his little finger, he tried to pick it with the force. A thing he had practiced when he didn't have his tool to pick locks, as they were sadly left back home as ordered by his mother. When the force-picking didn't even work, he punched the door and kicked it. Thanks to noisy storm and his little stature, he only made dull thuds no matter how much he hit the door and not for the first time, he wished he had a lightsaber to just cut his way through.

But as the lightsaber of his dream, the ancient one, was inside that very office, Ben instead went for his duffle bag on the floor and flung it at the door with the force. Hoping to wake his uncle and plead for him to at least give him some ear plugs. The flying bag landed with an almighty crash on the hard ground and the noise echoed through the hallway.

* * *

 _Crash? I thought it only contained a book and pen? What's in that bag?_

 _ **KR: Wow, your uncle is really in deep sleep if that didn't even wake him up...**_

 _So it could have been me, breaking every bone in my body crashing against that door and uncle would have been none the wiser?_

 _ **KR: That kriffing jerk...how dare he go to sleep when you need him!**_

 _I don't need him...I need something from him..._

 ** _KR: You need him to hold your hand through the storm._**

 _I_ _certainly_ _do not!_

* * *

Little Ben was just as shocked at the unexpected noise and even more so that his uncle hadn't woken up despite all that ruckus. When he was about to check out the source in his bag, another lightning struck, lighting up the room. The thunder roared in his ears, like a warning, but for what, he had no idea, as the only danger was having to listen to the storm, alone.

Ben glared hatefully at the door, where his uncle slept behind, who had left him to be all alone in awful storm and with million questions. Of course Ben could've just turned back to his new room, especially after the warning that hung in the air. He could try to get some sleep, by burying himself in the pillow to drown out the sounds of the horrible weather, imagining he was some place else and hoped for some answers in the morning. But there was something very important that couldn't wait till then and especially not when his uncle seemed to be able to sleep through a new galaxy war. Ben picked up the com-link he had managed to swipe from his uncle's pocket and grinned when a brilliant idea formed in his mind.

Since Ben already had a com-link, he only needed his father's number. Then he could contact him to take him home and he would never have to suffer through storms alone ever again. Or at least, he could suffer through them in his own home, instead of far away from everyone he knows. And if his dream was right, he wouldn't be alone as he would always be with her...

* * *

 _Wait, what...? Her...what girl...? Dream...?_

 _ **KR: Isn't mini-you just thinking about your mother...?**_

 _Then why didn't I think that...?_

 _ **KR: Hmm...**_

 _I could be thinking of the chosen one. Didn't I say that was a girl? Did I mean Rey? What dream? And did I honestly believe dad would just come and pick me up? Why was I so sure of that? Where did that weird confidence in him come from? Since when would he throw everything away to get me?_

 _ **KR: You have never been extremely bright...but always extremely delusional...**_

* * *

As his uncle obviously had no intention of giving the number freely and it would take too much time to search for it, Ben got a new plan. He was going to sneak inside his office from the outside, by going through the window, since the door seemed to be unbreachable. Then he would peek into Luke's mind while he was sleeping, since his guard would be at the lowest then.

* * *

 _ **KR: What a great plan...**_

 _Are you being sarcastic...?_

 _ **KR: No, I think it's a better plan that you ever had...**_

 _This is me..._

 _ **KR: Was you.**_

 _I have a really bad feeling about this...this will end horribly..._

 _ **KR: Well..duh! You are about to sneak into the last Jedi's office, of course it's a suicide mission!**_

 _He's going to kill me!_

 _ **KR: Literally...?**_

* * *

After a short trek outside in the storm, Ben landed on the floor in his uncle's office. He trembled from the cold as he had ventured outside without a raincoat, since they had mysteriously vanished and only wore his thin robes, which now were soaked from the rain, along with every inch of his body. He quickly closed the window on the weather that had tried to follow him inside. Ben was very grateful that the window could be opened and closed like normal and that he had only had to use a little bit of force tinkering to break in. He was however taken by surprise that the noise of the raging weather seemed to disappear into a vacuum, the moment the window fell completely closed.

Ben looked in envy at window his uncle must have muted somehow after he had slammed the door on him, wishing he had done the same for his room to help him sleep. However, as the magic window could only mute the sound from the outside, his uncle's snoring was still deafing. Ben turned with a scowl towards the snoring and finally understood why his uncle has slept through his attempt at breaking down the door and entering his room. Luke was wearing earplugs, so nothing could disrupt his peaceful sleeping, where he was tucked cosily under a blanket on the sofa. The perfect sight of innocence, lit up by a small light from a desk lamp, close by. The only light in otherwise dark room.

Ben let out a huge breath in relief, that this mission would be even easier than he anticipated. He left muddy footprints all over the floor, as he stomped over to his uncle and took great pleasure in making as much noise as possible, since there was no need to be careful. Of course the obvious footprints would be evidence to hold against him in the morning, but if everything went to plan he would be long gone before his uncle would wake up and see them. Or at least he would have his father to plead the case with him...and against his mother. Ben knew his mom would be very displeased with his adventure in the dark, but he would worry about that later.

On his way to the sofa, Ben noticed the ancient saber still hanging on the wall behind his uncle's desk, as untouchable as before. As much as Ben wanted that saber, he knew that it was not worth the risk, at least not until he had got what he came for.

* * *

 _ **KR: Now kill him...**_

 _That's not fair to kill him in his sleep...I mean no of course I'm not going to kill him!_

 _ **KR: Take the saber...and strike down your true enemy!**_

 _I can't kill you..._

 _ **KR: Hey, that's not nice to say!**_

 _Sorry...not..._

 ** _KR: Jerk._**

* * *

At last Ben had reached his fateful destination. Before he reached his uncle's bed or rather sofa side, he let out a mighty sneeze and nearly fell onto him on his wobbly feet. He caught himself in time, but then his mind grew foggy and everything screamed at him that this was a very bad idea. That it wasn't too late to turn back. But he had come way too far, to give up now. So Ben lifted a shaky hand, which shivered from the cold that was rapidly taken over his small body, or something else otherworldly. Something dark. Despite everything screaming at him to back away, even the atmosphere, Ben just kept going. He gripped his hand with the other to steady it, as he held it over his uncle's head and concentrated on getting the information he wanted. He would be damned if wouldn't at least try. Do or do not, there is no try.

Then he heard it, a real warning cry, screaming out to him in force, to get the hell away or he would be sorry. Ben at last listened to the warnings and jumped fast as a lightning back from his uncle's bedside, right before he heard the soft humming and saw Luke's green saber shot out of the blanket, mere inches from where he had stood.

Blue eyes opened wide up and looked shocked to see him instead of something...or someone else. "Ben!"

* * *

 _ **KR: So much for the stealth mission...**_

 _Fuck! I'm dead!_

 _ **KR: You didn't die there..**_

 _I could have! Stupid uncle, who sleeps with his lightsaber!?_

 _ **KR: I do...or did...**_

 _Well, that's to be expected with assassins lurking around every corner...but in a school full of children! What was my uncle thinking?_

 _ **KR: I guess he didn't expect any of his students to sneak up on him! Not even stupid you!**_

 _No, what is he really afraid of...?_ _ **  
KR: You.**_

 _Me?_

 ** _KR: Yes...even I'm a little afraid of you...sometimes..._**

 _Really?_

 ** _KR: Nah...don't flatter yourself..._**

* * *

His uncle turned off his saber immediately, rose from under the blanket and took the earplugs out. "I could have killed you, you stupid, stupid kid!"

The heartbeat pounded in Ben's ears and he lost the ability to speak or breathe as his life flashed before his eyes. Although time seemed to have moved on for Luke, Ben was still stuck in the moment where he could've died.

"Explain yourself!" Screeched his uncle at him and shook a finger at him. "You are in deep, deep trouble, young man! You are grounded for life! Come here, I will kill you...I mean..." Luke bit his lip over that awful wording. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean...come here, son." He opened his arms up for him and smiled fondly at him, which Ben was sure was a death trap.

The memory of the ignited saber which nearly impaled him, had sucked all the air out of his lungs and taking everything away that could be called a coherent thought. Something dark plus his survival instinct told him to get a weapon to defend himself, even though Luke had long since turned off his saber and was now only looking at him with great concern.

Ben started to lift his hand to get the ancient saber with a forcepull from the wall. He wanted nothing more than crash and burn this hateful place down, which stood for everything he hated and hide somewhere far, far from his uncle and his parents who would never believe he did all of that in self-defence. Something dark told him this was the only way out...that a greater destiny awaited him...

* * *

 _ **KR: Nice**_ ** _dark_ _side_ _._**

 _Shit._

* * *

Gratefully Luke grabbed his nephew before he could something he would forever regret. He held him close to his chest, when Ben struggled hard to get away from him, like his uncle was currently the most dangerous person alive and his greatest enemy. Ben cried out in panic.

"Sush, breathe. Everything is okay, now. Just breathe." Luke cradled his nephew and rocked him in his arms. "I'm not going to hurt you. I would never hurt you. Never." He kissed his head.

* * *

 _Liar..._

 _ **KR: Liar...stupid Luke ruining darkside.**_

 _But we went there later._

 ** _KR: True, still this was perfect opportunity to end him._**

 _I don't want...to end him..._

 ** _KR: Loser._**

* * *

Ben wrapped his arms around Luke's neck, desperate for affection to chase away the darkness in his soul. His uncle soothed him like he was a toddler who had woken up in the middle of the night, as Ben cried his heart out and put snot all over his shoulder.

After a while, Luke patted him on the back. "Feeling better?"

Ben nodded and sat up on his uncle's lap, as he tried to get his crying under control and some of his dignity back.

"What are you doing here? Did you have a nightmare?" asked his uncle gently, like nothing scary had happened for real.

Ben shook his head, still unable to speak. He wiped his face with sleeves.

"Did you try to read my mind?"

"No," choked Ben out, his throat still sore from all the crying.

"Ben, don't lie to me...I could feel it..." Luke changed his tactic, by transforming his stern tone to the softest one possible. "Please, I need you to be honest with me."

"I miss my family," was Ben's only reply.

"I am your family," stated his uncle, as if Ben didn't already know that. "Always, no matter what." He whispered the last part like it was secret between them and kissed the side of his head.

"I miss mom and dad. I miss them so much..." Ben barely held back his tears and rubbed his eyes with the small knuckles.

* * *

 _ **KR: Don't cry any more. You will drown in snot.**_

 _Leave the poor kid alone. He has just been through something traumatizing...and this was hard for me as well to witness again...very hard..._

 _ **KR: I was talking to you.**_

 _Me? I haven't cried once...since I woke up again..._

 _ **KR: Your mom...**_

 _Shut up. Of course I miss her! I'm stuck here and I have no idea if I will ever get back to her...or if I will ever get the answers I need..._

 _ **KR: Dramaqueen...**_

 _Or if I will ever get back to Rey...if not that would suck! Though maybe she would try to bring me back..._

 _ **KR: In your dreams kid...**_

 _That's better than nothing...one can hope..._

 ** _KR: Urgh enough with that hope bantha poodoo..._**

 _You are a bantha poodoo._

 ** _KR: I'm not even going to dignify that with an answer..._**

* * *

His uncle gave him a sympathetic look. "I know, kid. This is hard on all of us. We will get through this together. Just get some sleep, everything will be better in the morning...I promise. A good night's sleep is all you need..." His uncle took one look at his shivering form and suddenly it clicked that this was more than just from a fright. "Why are you...so wet...? I mean your clothes, you have been crying a river...and no one can blame you." He clarified as he looked over a huge dark stain on his blanket, that Ben had left behind, plus the water that kept dripping from his robe and hair.

Luke traced the muddy footprints on the floor to the puddle on under the window. "You were outside...? Why were you...? I thought I had locked that window...I was sure I had force locked it like the door...I should have used the child lock," muttered his uncle as he undressed him quickly before Ben could object or asked to do it himself, leaving Ben only in his under-clothes, which chilled him to the bone. Ben wrapped his arms around himself to try to keep his body warm in the cold night.

Luke wrung the drenched robe on the already wet floor and scolded him:"I can't believe you went outside with a raincoat...again. You will get a cold, foolish child. Not that I would have wanted you to be outside anyway, unsupervised and in this storm. What were you thinking? Do you have any idea how furious your parents would be if they found out what you have been up to? But, luckily for you, I'm not going to tell them. It will be a secret between us...so please let me in on what possessed you to behave like this."

Ben didn't answer, as he just stared, shivering, at the way his uncle kept wringing his robe. Deadly afraid that Luke would crush the hidden com-link, the only link to his original plan and braced himself for the crashing sound. But when none came, as his uncle must have not used that much force, or missed the com-link by a millimeter, he sighed in relief that not everything was lost. That there was still a chance. A hope.

* * *

 ** _KR: More hope? This kid is so stupid._**

 _HEY! But yeah...this was mighty stupid...not there is anything wrong with hope..._

 ** _KR: You are still stupid._**

 _I knew you would say that! Stupid Kylo!_

 ** _KR: Stupid Ben!_**

 _You are the most stupid!_

 ** _KR: Na, ah...you are!_**

* * *

"Ben...?" said his uncle when he saw the far away look in his eyes. "Are you okay?" He threw the robe on the floor. "You still haven't explained why you thought it was a good idea to break into my room. Was it a dare by the little knights? Or were you just being naughty on your own?" Luke glowered at him, as he already knew the answer. "It was all you, right?"

"No, Kylo."

* * *

 _Yebb, it was all Kylo._

 _ **KR: I knew you would blame me!**_

* * *

"Who...? Ben, it was you and no one else," said his uncle with no room for an argument.

"I tried everything to wake you..." said Ben as the truth of his words stung, so he tried to turn the blame on his uncle for not opening the door for him, instead of his foolhardy plan he should never have tried in the first place.

"What for...? What's wrong? You know, you will have to clean this up in the morning...all long with other things," Luke's voice trailed off when he remembered that Ben already had a punishment cleaning waiting for other his antics. He shook his head in great disbelief over how much trouble one kid could get himself into in only two days. He untied Ben's boots, so he wouldn't muddy his floor more and made them fall on the dirty ground.

"Please can I get dad's number?" Ben twiddled his thumbs. "Then I will leave you alone...I promise...I won't give you any more trouble." He hoped that would be enough and he could skip whatever torturous chore his uncle had planned for him in the morning, to punish him for his night adventure.

"Ben, I'm not your enemy," said his as he wrapped him tightly in a blanket to keep him warm, while he searched for some clothes and a towel to dry him off in the closet.

"You tried to kill me." sneered Ben.

"I didn't know it was you," shot his uncle back, as he took the blanket away to pull the night robe over his head.

"That's no excuse," said Ben as his arms popped out of the sleeves.

"You are right. I'm sorry. I failed you. Can you forgive me?" Luke toweled his nephew's head, as careful as he wanted to dry each hair.

"If you can forget about me breaking in here..." Ben gulped when he took in the full extent of the mess he had left.

"As long as it doesn't happen again." His uncle smiled in agreement and wiped Ben's face.

"It will never happen again," replied Ben solemnly.

"Good." Luke finished toweling him and smiled, that Ben was decent again.

"Since I'm leaving...forever. So give me dad's number, now." Ben smirked, as he was sure his uncle hadn't seen that coming and held out his hand expectantly.

His uncle sighed, as he had seen that move come from a mile away. "You know, your dad can't just come here and get you at the drop of a hat."

"Dad doesn't wear a hat..." said Ben confused.

"You know what I mean..."

"I don't wear a hat...or you..." He pointed at his uncle's bedhead.

* * *

 _ **KR: I just wear...no wore a COOL helmet...**_

 _And you will never shut up about it..._

 _ **KR: I hope that walking carpet didn't throw it out!**_

 _Hey, Chewie's not a walking carpet! He's family!_

 _ **KR: Who stole my cool helmet!**_

* * *

"That's not what I meant. I meant that he's far too busy to just drop by anytime and get you, it's all up to me...or rather you, when you have finished your training to have him pick you up." Luke explained.

"Me? Well, I want him to come now." Ben smiled victoriously when he found that loophole and added. "You tried to kill me."

"Because you broke into my room and tried to enter my mind. You put yourself in great danger. Do you think he would like to hear about that? He will yell your ears off, tan your hide, ground you for life and break your toy saber. You know what he thinks about you putting yourself in danger...or your mother." His uncle added the last part desperately when he saw how unfazed Ben was over his empty threats, as they both knew that the most his father would probably do was yell at him and hug the life out of him, while his mother was a bit more unpredictable in her overprotectiveness. But that didn't matter to Ben as he knew his mother only cared about one thing in that story, which was what truly scared his uncle out of his wits and he wanted to keep secret at all cost. He looked like he wanted to hide on an island forever, to be safe from his sister's rage if she ever found out the truth.

"We both know they will only care about one part and that's the one where you tried to kill me." Ben grinned, as a true senator's son, who knew for certain when the discussion was won. "Meaning you will be the only one in big trouble, so I win."

His uncle shook his head. "No."

"No...?" Ben's grin vanished. "What do you mean...no?"

"Because they will never believe you." His uncle opened the door with the force, tucked him under his arm and went out the room. "And you can't leave until your training is complete."

"NO! You can't make me!" Ben tried to get out of his uncle's strong hold on him. "I want to go home!"

"Your father can't bring you home yet." Luke picked up Ben's duffle bag he had left right outside his door with his free hand.

"No, you're wrong, dad, said he could be back any time. I would just have to call him and tell him that I didn't want to be here anymore. He told me I didn't have to get rid of the darkness. He told me that!"

* * *

 _What the...? That strange confidence in dad to come and rescue me, seems to come from that dream...but it was just a dream right?_

 _ **KR: You know it was.**_

 _And since when could I count on dad for anything...?_

* * *

"Yes, you do." His uncle carried him inside the dark room, put him down on the bed and tucked him firmly in so he wouldn't escape again. Luke fastened the window with the force, so he couldn't break out that way or the storm to get inside.

"But I don't even think that's possible! What if the darkness is part of me?" pleaded Ben, as his uncle made sure the room was inescapable and put his duffle bag on the desk inside.

"It's not a part of you. Don't worry, with many years of rigorous training you will get rid of it. You just have to be patient. Trust me." He leaned over him and kissed his forehead. "Goodnight."

Ben tossed around in his bed sheets as they were a straightjacket and yelled after his uncle, who was about to leave through the door: "No...I don't want to stay here, I changed my mind..no I never wanted to stay here, I don't want to stay here...I promise I won't turn to the darkside. I swear it on my toy saber! No, on my mother's life!"

* * *

 _Hey, that was not nice mini me!_

 _ **KR: Well...she was kind of in danger because of me...**_

 _Don't remind me!_

* * *

Luke returned at once, sat down on his bed and patted his sheets. "Ben, calm down! Never swear on your mother's life...or anyone's life for that matter."

"But, I'm serious...and I would never put mommy at risk," Ben said whole heartily and his uncle mussed his hair.

"That's good to hear...and assume you mean your father as well...and me."

"Of course...I would never hurt anyone in my family."

* * *

 _ **KR: What an empty promise.**_

 _I was a child, how was I supposed to know I would turn to the darkside and put everyone in danger...? Especially him, since he's the Last Jedi...a prick and since he tried to kill me. But mom since you not I, became her enemy! And well dad...erm...that was just personal...I think...I'm still not sure why I acted that way...why was I so...scared when he...arrived?_

 _ **KR: Maybe the answers are in your memories...something you forgot...or made up...**_

 _Nah, I was just pissed he didn't try to bring me home...or did he...? If he did tried that...then why was I so angry with him? Because he left me behind...? Because he broke the promise...?_

 _ **KR: Possibly...**_

 _Sure, that stunk...but it's not like he had any choice...right? Luke told him to leave me behind...if that is the truth..._

 _ **KR: Maybe...**_

 _But why was I so scared when he found us? Doesn't make any sense...did I really think he would kill me? For real...?_

 _ **KR: You betrayed your whole family by turning to the darkside...just like how I betrayed my family, not voluntarily...by going back to the light side!**_

 _Your family?_

 _ **KR: The supreme leader can not be happy with me...I hope he will forgive me when I bring him the map..and also Phasma...and stupid Hux...and most importantly grandfather...**_

 _Why would grandfather have to forgive you for turning to the light?_

 _ **KR: Duh, Vader doesn't like the lightside! He's a Sith Lord!**_

 _Have you asked him?_

 _ **KR: No...I haven't been able to contact him since I lost his helmet!**_

* * *

"Or anyone else?" asked his uncle sternly.

"What if I had to defend myself...? Like tonight..?"

Luke blushed over the reminder. "Erm...that fell under the family category...no killing...or hurting...it goes both ways, of course." He patted his head to drive that lesson in.

"What if I had to defend someone else...? Not family. That could happen."

* * *

 _Yeah, like Rey._

 ** _KR: She is your family._**

 _No, she is...she will be..._

* * *

"That would be different circumstances...but you should never swear on anyone's life, no matter how determined you are." His uncle narrowed his eyes at him.

"Okay, sorry...but can't you just call dad like right now? He told me to call him if I wanted to go home...and I want to go home, I want to go home..." Ben tossed, turned and kicked his tight sheets, until he got loose from them.

"No!" His uncle stood up dramatically and looked out the rainy window. "Make sure to put on a raincoat if it's still raining tomorrow on so you won't be cold again. I don't want a repeat of yesterday...or just now."

"Yesterday...?"  
"Yes, when you tried to run away...not for the first time and I caught you," said his uncle sternly, as he picked up Ben's duffle bag, the one he had packed for his escape and started unpacking his stuff onto the desk in the room, so Ben wouldn't be tempted to run away again.

"Oh...actually dad was the one who caught me that time," corrected Ben him and smiled sadly at the memory.

* * *

 _That's weird, I thought that was just a stupid dream, why do I keep talking about it like it happened for real?_

 _ **KR: You will see.**_

 _Or did it happen_... _I'm not sure any more..._

 ** _KR: You will see._**

* * *

"No, he didn't," said his uncle firmly and threw the empty duffel bag to Ben, who caught the bag it easily and frowned at his uncle.

"Yes, he did and he was very angry that I tried to run away."

"I was very angry," said his uncle.

* * *

 _Could uncle be lying to me...to teach me a lesson? Because I lied...about taking the com-link? He doesn't even know I stole it again! And because I broke into his room...and tried to peek at his memories?_

 _ **KR: Now, would he really go that far...goodie two shoes boring lightside Luke? Who tried to kill you...?**_

 _That was an accidenct...but you are right...he only lied about Vader because mom told him to..._

 _ **KR: Only?!**_

* * *

"Huh...?" Ben grew even more confused and he tried to piece what his uncle said in his head and make sense of it.

* * *

 _Why am I so sure it happened...? Don't I know the difference between a dream and reality? Is that why I'm still not sure if it happened or not? Or is uncle really lying...no that can't be..._

 _ **KR: Your head has always been a bit messed up...**_

 _Hey, I finally remember we are still here! You said something about the truth about the false memory...dream about dad coming to get me...is that it..?_

 _ **KR: Maybe...**_

 _It better be. I want answers._

 _ **KR: You will get some...but you won't like them...**_

 _That's nothing new..._

* * *

"Or well..as angry as a Jedi is allowed to be. Don't do it again. You really frightened me."

* * *

 _Luke was frightened?_

 _ **KR: He always is...always in hiding...a big COWARD!**_

 _That's not what he meant..._

* * *

Ben looked over his belongings on the desk to make sure nothing was missing. "Umm...okay...sorry...I won't...hey, you broke my TIE fighter...again!" He pointed at the broken model TIE fighter.

"I didn't break it," said his uncle, as if that was the only thing that mattered.  
"Yes, you did," said Ben, who grew angrier with his uncle.

"No, I didn't," answered his uncle flippantly, in a similar way to how Ben has replied to his interrogation and suddenly he looked more like a child, than an adult.

* * *

 _Is he trying to mind trick me?_

 _ **KR: Or just telling the truth...don't you remember how you flung the bag at the office door and the mighty crash that followed?**_

 _Oh...but somehow...I remember uncle also breaking it...kind of...when I threw it at him...yesterday...in the memory I mean..._

 _ **KR: That doesn't sound too unlikely**... **it probably was a daily occurrence...**_

 _True..._

* * *

"YES IT WAS! And it is broken again! BY YOU!" screamed Ben, who had long since run out of patience with his uncle, who only answered his outburst by force lifting the model TIE fighter to him, fixing it, putting into a box from a desk and sending it back to Ben, before he knew what had happened.

"See, I already fixed it. Good as new." His uncle smiled, while Ben looked astonished over how quick that problem had been solved and his uncle added: "It shouldn't break if you keep it in this box between playing...as long as you take good care of it. No throwing...at anyone or anything."  
"Oh...that still doesn't mean you didn't break it." Ben glanced angrily between his newly fixed toy TIE fighter, which he put back into his bag and his uncle, who replied. "From a certain point of view it does..." He smiled at him as if he had won a big legal argument, while Ben just gaped at him.

Then Ben just shook his head as he had no energy to play this game with his uncle any longer.

"You are weird...where is my toy Falcon? Oh, right...I never got it back..."

"What toy Falcon?"

Ben sighed when he saw he wasn't going to get any straight answers from his uncle. "I don't have a raincoat."

"You don't...?" His uncle went over to him to pick up the empty duffle bag and turned it over as if he was expecting a coat to drop out of a void. "But, I remember your mom packing..oh...so that's what happened to them. Stay here." Luke locked the door behind him.

Ben was about to obey for once, but jolted up when he remembered that the com-link was in the robe, left in his uncle's office.

And as Ben had never let any normal lock stand in his way, he picked it easily with the force and soon after went after his uncle, hoping against hope that he hadn't force locked the door again.

* * *

"So you see the knights are real jerks," said Ben, when his uncle had turned around and was about to go with a black coat he had found in his office.

His uncle jumped up startled and held his heart. "What...how did you get out? I told you to stay in your room..." Luke looked at the door, he had left wide open to be able to quickly enter and leave and return to Ben with the coat.

He scowled at his naughty nephew. "Really Ben, I would've thought you would know better than to sneak up people, by now."

"I forgot something in my pocket," said Ben innocently, kneeled at the robe on the robe and reached into it.

"Oh, okay...you could've just asked me to bring it to you. What was it?" asked his uncle.

"Just something...I made." Ben hid the com-link behind his back.

"I hope it's not a prank," said his uncle concerned and Ben latched himself onto that lie, by asking the obvious: "Don't you think the knights are jerks?"

"They are just playing around...they are jealous because of your powers. One day, you will show them how powerful you are and then they will be sorry for messing with the Skywalker family," his uncle grinned evilly.

"Really...? Isn't that kind of...darkside...? Wanting revenge?" asked Ben surprised.

* * *

 _ **KR: Nice, Luke is really tapping into darkside there...again...but you are ruining it...**_

 _Still, I was the one who turned...because of him..._

 _ **KR: And will turn again...**_

 _Never._

 _ **KR: Yeah, right.**_

 _I thought this memory trip would make me hate him...but he's being pretty nice...except the part where he nearly killed me...but that was kind of my fault...and he consoled me after it..._

 _ **KR: Oh...you will hate him...you will hate him...**_

 _I don't believe you._

* * *

His uncle got flustered. "I didn't mean it like that. Please don't retaliate. The knights look dangerous." He turned his attention to the coat in his hand. "Here, you can use one of mine. Make sure not to lose this one. I know it's a bit big..." He draped it over him. "But at least it should keep you warm."

* * *

 _A bit? It's like a tent!_

 _ **KR: A cool black tent, now all that is missing is my saber and my temporary darkside uniform is complete! My saber is just over there!**_

 _And you call me pathetic..._

 _ **KR: You are pathetic...**_

* * *

"It's just like dad did," muttered Ben in a dream-like voice through the night, as he put the stolen com-link in one of pockets in the huge dark coat.

His uncle jolted up as if he had been hit by one of the lighting outside. "Your father?"

Ben looked up and looked concerned at his uncle. "Yeah, when he didn't find my raincoat, he put his me in his jacket. Don't you remember, you were there with us...? It happened just yesterday...how could you forget? He also fixed my TIE fighter which you broke and gave me a new toy."

* * *

 _What's up with that guilty look, was Luke hiding something from me?_

 _ **KR: He always is.**_

 _But why? Why doesn't he just say right away that dad never came and it was just a stupid dream. Why is giving me hope like that? Is there something he's not telling me?_

 _ **KR: He is just being a prick...like all Jedi...always hiding something or in hiding...**_

* * *

"Uncle...?"

"Umm...okay...I told you that didn't happen...and call me master...or father," muttered his uncle distractedly.

"Yes, it did, stop saying it didn't! Father...?" Ben stared at his uncle as if he had misheard him, but he just shrugged it off as his uncle being deadly tired. "It was freezing cold and DADDY saved ME..."

"This one is mine and you are under my care. You are my responsibility and you are not going anywhere, so you better get used to it. You can wear it on your way to the dorm, that should keep you warm. I recommend sleeping in it as well," said his uncle sternly and pointed at the black coat.

Ben looked down on the coat."Why is it black?" He looked at his uncle as if he was seeing him in a new light.  
"I thought you loved black," replied Luke surprised.  
"I do...just wondering...isn't it kind of...darkside...?" whispered Ben conspiratorially and his uncle shook his head.

"It's just a color...or absence of it...don't think to deeply about it. The Jedi don't have any dress code, so you can wear whatever you want." Luke patted him on the back, as if it had really worried Ben.

"So I could wear a pink pajamas all day?" snarked Ben and his uncle shook his head again.

"No, because those are for sleeping only. But if you want a pink robe..."

"I was joking. I hate pink." Ben grimaced and shivered in disgust, at memories of being dressed that color when he was a toddler.

"I thought so." His uncle smirked, as he knew how his sister had dressed her son in girlish clothes, sometimes to spite her husband, but most of the times because it made Ben look even cuter. But what his uncle didn't know was that Ben hadn't really minded it that much until people started making fun of him. Then he started to hate it.

* * *

 ** _KR: You liked to be in girls clothes?_**

 _Now, who said anything about that? Pink is a boy's color as well._

 ** _KR: Hmm...I'm telling Rey._**

 _What! Says the one who is wearing a dress!_

 ** _KR: This is not a dress! Knights used to wear clothes like these...I thought a history nerd as yourself would know that._**

 _Then how do you explain the combs in your helmet?_

 ** _KR: I like to take care of my hair...yours, is that a crime?_**

 _I guess not...still, it's very unusual..._

 ** _KR: Why do everyone have to be the same? That's so boring..._**

 _True. That is boring._

 ** _KR: Finally, we agree on something...except how cool Darth Vader was!_**

 _Erm...about that..._

* * *

"But I don't plan on staying here anyway, I want to go home..." pleaded Ben and once again it fell on deaf ears.

"This is your new home."

"No it isn't!" shouted Ben and his uncle stopped him when he tried to rip the coat off, in one of his tantrums.

Luke lifted him onto the sofa and sat beside him, as he explained to him why he was there, not for the first time. "You know as well as I do that there is no one at your home. They are always away, that's why they left you in my care. You are safe here...with me...as long as you follow my rules and don't break into my room when I'm sleeping. Why can't you see that? My little padawan?" He patted his head.

Ben pouted, not convinced. "But dad said, I could go home whenever I wanted...when he came to bring me home yesterday...but he had to leave me behind...because you said something to him...but it was just temporary! Or was he...lying...?" A sinking realization crossed Ben's mind. "It didn't happen...?"

"Ben...the truth is...your father never said those things," said his uncle gravely and for the second time this long night, Ben could feel his whole world turn upside down as the dark started to manifest in his heart again.

* * *

 _ **KR: Duh!**_

 _Really...? That's the big truth...I have been seeking..?_

 ** _KR: I never said that...the truth has many, many...many layers..._**

* * *

"What? Yes, he did. He even left you his number...when he came to bring me home..." Ben's voice trailed off, as if had doubts himself. "That did happen...right? He did come here?"

"No, your father never came to bring you home...from a certain point of view..." His uncle bit his lower lip and turned away from him, as he tried to come up with the next words.

"Huh?"

He turned back to him with a dark look in his eyes. "It was all just a bad dream..."

* * *

 _What...?_

 _ **KR: He's speaking...the truth...**_

 _Certain point of view nonsense...just mean lies and deception!_

 _ **KR: No, it means the truth, just worded in a different way.**_

 _No, I don't believe it! That can't be the truth! There is something more! There must be! Why else would you bother showing me all this...what are you hiding stupid uncle?!_

 _ **KR: I told you would hate him...**_

* * *

 _Up next: Just normal Skywalker family stuff..._


	27. Just normal Skywalker family stuff

_AN: Thanks for the support! You guys rock! This chapter is dedicated to_ UnknownSeven7. _Thank you so much for the kind words, they mean the world to me! But I really want to do my best to update as fast as possible...since I have some change of plans..._

 _I have decided that this story will have a sequel, but it will be more like part two (or part three, since I plan on taking the whole dream-memory arch, from chapter 16-34 and move it into a_ separate _story called part two: Sleeping Beauty Ben). So there are seven chapters left of this part. The last (next) part, A whole new world, has a different tone then this one (way more silly, fluffy, but also_ angsty _and darker and some romance!), so I felt it wise to split it up, plus it would make for_ easier read but _that part will be 24 chapters with an epilogue - and go all the way to the Last Jedi with a twist!)_

 _At last, I couldn't resist adding some Last Shot spoilers in this chapter after reading that wonderful book. I highly recommend it and not just because of the chibi Ben Solo stuff, but also because it has a great story. And how awesome was it to see Lando in action again! Unca Wanwo! I got even more excited for the Solo movie next month. I got so inspired by the book that I wrote a one shot with unca wanwo that I will publish in the near future, after I have rewritten it. I will try to finish this part first._

 _Enough blabbering and on with the story! Another long chapter. :S All the unca Luke chapters are so wordy...but Luke is still being "tormented" by naughty little Ben. ;)_

* * *

Chapter twenty seven - Just normal Skywalker family stuff

Even though the window on his uncle's office was muted so no noise from the crazy weather could come inside, thunder rumbled in Ben's head after his uncle's shocking revelation, as he tried to come up with counter arguments like his mother had taught him.

"But, you said dad never came here...from a certain point of view? Either he did come or not. He's not a Darth Plagueis's cat. He can't be in two places at once...not even in a dream," said Ben, as he pointed out the flaw in his uncle's logic.

"Don't you often dream of him coming here and bringing you home?" Luke explained to him as it was just another lesson in his classroom.

"Yeah, but...it felt different...it felt...so real..." Ben looked down in sadness, as if he had lost something precious he never had and Luke nodded in agreeance.

"Some dreams are like that. The feel as if they really happened. Good or...bad dreams. This could even be a dream." His uncle waved his hand as if he was trying to conjure something up, to prove his point.

Thankfully nothing happened, so at least this was real, although Ben wasn't sure if that was good or not.

"He was going to pay for the padawan robes I ruined, but you stopped him," Ben pointed out when remembered a new detail, to disprove what his uncle said.

Luke smiled sadly at the lightweight argument. "You really think he would've bailed you out like that? It wouldn't have taught you anything..."

"He was going to tell on me to mom...or no wait, he wasn't...I think..." Ben grabbed his head in pain, as he tried to make sense of things.  
Luke put him on his lap and lifted up his chin, and gazed into his eyes, like he was about to tell him the most important thing in the world. "Listen to me...it was just a bad dream,"

"What do you mean a bad dream? Isn't it good that he came...? Even in a dream...? Though I would've preferred it to be real...are you sure it wasn't real?" pleaded Ben, as he struggled to get his dream reality back.

* * *

 _Yeah...?_

 _ **KR: Nah.**_

* * *

"He left you here, that's bad isn't it..from your point of view? Because from my point of view, if he would take you, it would be very bad for you and...especially the galaxy," said his uncle.

"Why...?"

"You know why, you have way too much darkness...it's dangerous, we must get rid of it...and you are the chosen one. The galaxy needs you...I need you." He hugged him close and Ben pushed him away.

"That makes no sense...you tried to kill me..." he spit out and his uncle sighed.

"You are never going to let that go. Still doesn't mean I don't love you...my father... no, I mean Vader...I mean..." Luke went white as a sheet and he covered Ben's ears even though the damage was already done.

"Vader loved you...?" Ben asked, stunned over that information and his uncle uncovered his ears, when he tried to do some damage control.

"Erm...he killed the emperor for me."

"So he did it because he...loved you?" Ben blinked in astonishment. "Why did he love you? Wasn't he way too old for you? I thought you loved mom...until you found out she was your sister...then it was only sibling love, right?"

"Vader didn't love me like that, you little fool..." his uncle said, without giving any further information and hoping that would be the end of it.

"Oh...how then?" Ben's eyes shone with excitement, that he was finally able to get to the depths of uncle's strange connection with Vader.

* * *

 _I would kill Snoke for Rey...in a heartbeat._

 _ **KR: What...why are you thinking about that? Are you planning on going back to the First Order?**_

 _Maybe..._

 _ **KR: Interesting...and there is nothing special that Vader loved Luke, Vader loves me the most!**_

 _I seriously doubt that..._

 _ **KR: You are just jealous.**_

* * *

"And that was after he tried to kill me...and I tried to kill him...you know family stuff. Kind of..." Luke shrugged his shoulders, as if it was common occurrence for loving family to try to kill it each other.

"Why?" pried Ben, as he saw no link between Vader and the word family. "Wait, this goes against everything you told me, I thought we weren't supposed to hurt family...oh right...Vader wasn't family...why did you bring him up? I thought we weren't supposed to talk about him? I'm so confused..."

"Umm...forget what I just said. Anyway, you have far more important things to do than smuggle things. You don't have time for that...and it's way too dangerous. Someone or something is after you...you have to be prepared. I'm only one who can help you. Why can't you see that?"

* * *

 _Smuggle? Why would I do that? Wouldn't I just go back to school right? Which I wouldn't have wanted so..._

 _ **KR: He was talking about your what if future...and what do you really want?**_

 _I wanted to be with dad. But, I want to be with Rey now!_

 _ **KR: He doesn't want you. Neither of them want you...**_

 _You don't know that!_

 _ **KR: You are with them now...yet here you are with me...and the stupid Jedi. Hiding.**_

 _I'm not hiding...from him...or Rey..._

 _ **KR: Your father is furious...and think Rey is not happy with you either...**_

 _That's nothing new...then I will make Rey happy...I really have to get out of here._

 _ **KR: Are you sure...?**_

 _Yes...but I guess I want a real answer first, since we bothered to come here...hopefully something for Rey..._

 _ **KR: You already got your answer...or are you trying to find an answer that will please you...? What, Rey...? This is your brain...you lovesick fool...**_

 _Of course...there is something more...I can feel it...there is some connection to my Rey in here..._

 _ **KR: Then you are in for a long wait...**_

 _So I will find something pleasing...? Something about Rey?_

 _ **KR: Maybe...**_

* * *

"I thought dad was going into racing and shipping," said Ben as if that would make the whole difference.

His uncle scoffed. "Or that. Still not your job..."

"What is my job? And who's after me? Why? Because of this chosen one thing...?" asked Ben with worry in his eyes.

"Yes," said his uncle with finality and the hope that Ben would at last see the gravity of the situation.

"And you sleep with a lightsaber, because someone is after me?" Ben lifted eyebrow in disbelief.

"Yes."

"Which you nearly killed me with."

"Yes..." Luke threw his lightsaber away with disdain and hugged Ben. "I'm really sorry about that. Won't happen again."

"Can I have it?" Ben pointed at the saber on the floor.

"What? No." His uncle picked up the saber and stored it safely away.  
"But shouldn't I be the one to have a lightsaber, if I'm in danger?"

His uncle frowned at him like it was the least thing from his mind. "No...or maybe when you are older and more mature." He relented. "I will teach you how to make your own."

* * *

 _Later I slept with my lightsaber since uncle was always coming into my room when sleepwalking and nearly killing me by an accident..._

 _ **KR: Are you sure it was an accident?**_

 _Of course...at that time...he probably wants to kill me today...for real..._

 _ **KR: Probably...? Haha...so naive...**_

 _He said it was training...no wonder I broke down eventually...especially since something similar had already happened to me in the past..._

 _ **KR: What...?**_

* * *

"I don't believe you." Little Ben jumped off the sofa and glared at his uncle.

"What do you mean?" asked his uncle innocently.

"I don't believe it for a second that dad coming here was a dream." Ben put on his most fearsome scowl and paced in front of his uncle, like he was trying to get him to confess to a crime he had committed.

"Oh...?" said his uncle who was not in the least intimidated by his little act.

* * *

 _ **KR: Hey, what happened in the past?!**_

 _HA! Now it's time for you to wait for something!_

 _ **KR: Jerk...**_

* * *

"There is only one way to settle this and that is to simply call dad and ask him." Ben was about to dive for the stolen com-link in his oversized robe, but caught himself in time, as he didn't want his uncle to find out about the theft.

"I don't have his number," replied Luke, but Ben has having none of that and pointed accusingly at him, like he was in front of a court:"Liar, he said he gave it to you!"

"It didn't happen!" yelled Luke back at him.

"Yes, it did." Ben punctuated his statement by stomping his feet all over the muddy floor and dragging with it his oversized robe in the process.

"Ben, I really don't want to fight you on this..." pleaded Luke and grimaced when Ben made even more mess of his room. "Stop dirtying my floor."

"Then call him and ask," commanded Ben and ignored Luke's scolding. In fact, he dipped his hand into the mud and smeared the walls with it, like he hoped that would make his uncle crack and confess.

His uncle sighed, gripped his little hand to stop him messing up more and carried him over the refresher in the back room. "I can't...however, I could contact your mother and ask her to contact your father...but that would mean she would had to know that you are still up and all the naughty things that you did tonight." Luke smirked like he has little naughty nephew corned by that argument and turned on the water to clean his hands.  
"And that you tried to kill me." Ben smirked when he showed his trump card in return and smeared his uncle's cheek with mud just to spite him.

Luke's smile faltered. "Yes...so you see neither of us would win." He wiped of the dirty handprint with the back of his hand and glared at his nephew.

"I would win." Ben grinned, but his uncle shook his head and washed Ben's little hands thoroughly under the faucet.

"No, she will be very unhappy that you are still up...or the fact that you went outside in the rain without a raincoat, snuck inside my office while I was asleep and tried to read my mind...and that I nearly killed you by an accident because of those actions."

* * *

 _ **KR: That prick managed to flip all the blame over to us...**_

 _Yeah..._

* * *

Ben gulped. "Okay...you win..."

"I thought so." His uncle turned off the water and handed him a towel, as he went in the back to fetch a wash basin that he filled with water and soap. He picked up a mop.

"Unless you want to clean this up, I suggest you return to your room at once," Luke said in warning tone. "And take off those socks, they are dirty. Put on some slippers. And the robe is dirty now, take it off. Find something else to wear." When Ben didn't move after that overload of instructions for an exhausted child's brain to take in, his uncle sighed and helped him dress, before returning to the mopping.

"Now, go."

Ben bit his lower lip. He really did not want to have to clean anything up, but at the same time he still hadn't got what he came for, so he asked as he moved over to his uncle desk:"But how can you contact dad if you don't have his number? You said that you would contact dad the moment the darkness was gone from me."

Luke trained his eyes on the floor as he moped each inch of it. "I will find some way, don't worry, just focus on your training...and the darkness is far from gone from you. Go back to your room, now. Don't let me tell you that again...BEN!"

His uncle turned just as Ben had gone through his drawers and held aloft a paper with a number.

"Isn't that his number? The one dad left behind?"

"This isn't the number you are looking for." Luke waved a hand and let go of the mop.

* * *

 _Is he lying to me?! Jedi mind tricking me?!_

 _ **KR: Now, why would your former master do that?**_

* * *

"Are you Jedi mind tricking me?" Ben frowned at him.

"No, I will never lie to you, only tell you the truth from a certain point of view." Luke put the mop away with the force.

* * *

 _ **KR: Like Obi Wan did with...killed your father...is your father...**_

 _Was uncle trying to keep me there for some bad reason? Could it be that he was working with Snoke?_

 _ **KR: AHAHAHAHAH! No, you idiot! It was the opposite he was trying his best to protect you from him...not that it did any good...and it was none of his business!**_

 _He's lying...or at least hiding something..._

* * *

"Okay, then I will just test this number and..." Before Ben knew what he was doing, he had picked up the stolen com-link and was about to use it in front of his uncle, who shouted at him.

"Stop! Hey, where did you get a com-link?"

Ben froze when he realized his mistake way too late.

Luke dove into his pocket. "Did you steal it..." He felt through in his pocket. "Did you steal this from my...pocket?!" thundered Luke and grabbed his nephew before he could make a run for it. He put him atop his desk and leaned dangerously over him.

"No," muttered Ben stubbornly, who was not going to break down under the second interrogation that night.

* * *

 _ **KR: So naughty, stealing and lying about it! Twice!**_

 _Shut up...and not the stupid desk again..._

* * *

"Yes, you did and it was very wrong. I knew it, you were lying to me. You did take this. Admit it!" Luke shoved the com-link in his face, the evidence of his crime where he forced Ben to sit on the naughty desk.

Ben squeezed his eyes shut, as if that would make his stupid uncle disappear.

"Ben, I put it on purpose there. It was a test, and you failed it."

"I failed it...?" asked Ben surprised, as he had not known about any tests and opened his eyes to meet his uncle's worried ones.

"Yes, you know it's wrong to steal. Now tell me why you took it." Luke's blue eyes studied him carefully.

"I need it," spat Ben.

His uncle shook his head. "That doesn't make it any better."

Ben's anger flared at the injustice, that suddenly he was in the spotlight. "It's all your fault."

"My fault?" asked Luke stunned.

"Yeah, why couldn't you just give it to me? Then I wouldn't have had to steal it," sneered Ben, when he stated the obvious.

A vein was about to burst on his uncle's forehead. He clenched his fists and took a deep breath to calm himself. Luke paced in front of his little nephew like a rancor, who gulped and looked frantic at the door at the end of the room.

* * *

 _ **KR: Wow, you are really standing up to your uncle...**_

 _He looks like he wants to kill me..._

 _ **KR: That's nothing new...**_

 _Sadly, no..._

* * *

"That's not how it works! Are you telling me you are not the slightest sorry for taking it?" shouted his uncle at him, despite his best attempt to calm his temper.

"Yes." Out of the corner of his eye, Ben saw the ancient saber hanging on the wall and he started to reach out to it with force, just in case his uncle would try something and he would have to defend himself.

Luke picked him off the table, before he even managed to lift it up an inch and carried him to exit with a thunderous expression. "You really are something else! You know, I really should put you in a long timeout for breaking into my office, trying to read my mind, stealing from me and for lying about it...and trying to get the saber from the wall." His uncle glanced over his shoulder at the saber and glared at Ben, who played innocent. "Don't think, I didn't notice." He put him down.. "But I'm too tired and you really need to sleep. You should be thankful that I do not call your mother and tell her about this. But rest assured that we will discuss all of this in the morning...just not now..." He pointed out the open doorway. "Sleep."

* * *

 _He was too tired to even discipline me..._

 _ **KR: I sure hope he will be too tired when I finally find him!**_

 _Yeah, because that's the only way you can defeat him..._

 _ **KR: Not true! I could defeat him with both hands tied behind my back and blindfolded!**_

 _How would you use your lightsaber then? The force?_

 _ **KR: It's just a expression...dimwit...**_

* * *

Ben sighed, he knew when he was defeated, but just as he was about to take the first step into the hallway, his uncle pulled him back.

"Wait...did your father teach you to break into houses...or pick pockets...?"

* * *

 _Where did that come from...? Why is he shifting the blame to dad...?_

 _ **KR: But he did teach you to be a criminal...?**_

 _Well...him and unca...I mean uncle Lando..._

 _ **KR: What great role models...**_

 _Says the one with Vader as a role model!_

 _ **KR: And what's wrong with him?**_

 _You know what..._

 _ **KR: No, what?**_

 _So stupid..._

* * *

Ben turned slowly to his uncle and puffed out his cheeks nervously. "Are you going to tell mom...?" He put his fingers together and looked shamefully at the ground and back at his uncle.

Luke rubbed his face in frustration. "That's...unbelievable...but no...not if you say you are sorry."

Ben's eyes got as big as possible and he put his hands together in a prayer. "I'm really, really sorry, but can I still try this number...?

His uncle bit his lower lip. "This is not his number...but I have it...on paper..." He looked at his desk like it was the most interesting thing in the galaxy.

* * *

 _He does?_

 _ **KR: From a certain point of view...**_

* * *

Ben smirked and crossed his arms. "When did dad give it to you...? I thought it was a dream." He pointed out.

Luke turned from admiring his desk. "Actually, it's your mom's number, but I can call her and ask her to contact your father..however that would mean she would find out that you were still up..and what you did. Do you think she would like that?" he shot back and pulled the mom card again, your mommy will be angry.

Ben got on his tiptoes, as if that would help him reach his uncle in size or to get the high ground. "Why did you lie to me?"

"Lie? I told you the truth has many sides..." said his uncle hurriedly as his eyes seemed to be searching for a way out, but the exit was blocked by Ben.

Are there more sides except the light and dark?" Ben advanced towards his uncle, who backed away from him all the way against his desk, where Ben had him cornered.  
"No darkside talk!" shouted Luke and threw shaky hands up in the air, like Ben had used some awful curse word.  
"What about the greyside?" Ben tilted his head.

Luke shook his head ferociously. "Too close to the darkside. Let the topic drop...you are too young for it. It's too dangerous." He put arms on Ben's shoulders and whispered the last part in his ear in a conspiratorial voice.

* * *

 _ **KR: What a loser...**_

 _Yeah..._

 _ **KR: Darkside rocks!**_

 _Of course it does..._

 _ **KR: Finally you have seen the light! I mean...erm...**_

 _I was joking..._

 _ **KR: Maybe grey is the way to go...**_

 _Really?_

 ** _KR: Nah._**

* * *

Ben narrowed his eyes and poked his uncle in the stomach with his finger. "You still lied to me, you said you couldn't contact him. You said he couldn't come here." He punctuated each word with a hard poke.

Luke backed away from his poking and hit his back on the desk in return. He grimaced and rubbed his back with a pout. "I didn't lie. I can only contact your mother...and he can never come here..."

"Really...? Are you sure he never came here? It...felt so real..." muttered Ben, who walked like in a trance.

Luke jumped up like he had seen a ghost. "What...now...? Here...? When?" No. He can't come here...yet. I put a force shield, no one can land without my permission."

Ben turned to him. "Never?"

Luke nodded. "Yes, never...well not until you can go home...and not a minute sooner."

"When will that be...? Why can't he just come now!" Ben looked longingly at the door, as if he was expecting his father to show up out of nowhere.

"However, you can call your mother...but she's probably in a late night meeting." His uncle handed him the com-link. "But you are welcome to try...and interrupt her...very important meeting..." Luke grinned, like he was sure Ben would never risk that, as she hated being disturbed.

Ben took the com-link from his uncle's hand. "Of course she is...maybe I should call her and lecture her for not taking better care of her health...and let her know what you tried to do...to me..." Ben smiled evilly at the look of panic that came on his uncle's face.

"I doubt she would like that...you are supposed to be sleeping..." said his uncle who made a grab for the com-link, but Ben ran out of the door.

"BEN!" Luke followed after him. "Come back here!"

* * *

Ben suddenly stopped in the middle of the hallway, like he had been hypnotized.

"Ben...?" said his uncle worried.

Ben stared in daze ahead and turned to his uncle. "I can tell her about the girl. She will be happy to know I have a girlfriend...or potential one..." With a goofy smile he held the com-link to his heart and turned his gaze at the end of the corridor, like he saw someone there.

"HEY!" Ben fumbled after the com-link his uncle had managed to snatch easily, when he zoned out like an idiot.

* * *

 _ **KR: You got distracted by a girl...? You haven't changed at all...**_

 _Oh...like you would do any better? Besides, it's my Solo blood..._

 _ **KR: And your Skywalker blood makes sure you only set your eyes on one girl...**_

 _Yeah._

 _ **KR: That's healthy...**_

* * *

"What, girl...I thought she was the chosen one...or is she someone else?" Luke shook his head and pocket the com-link. "It doesn't matter, who she is, you can't have a girlfriend. Jedi code...I thought you didn't even believe in romance..." He pushed Ben across the dark hallway toward his room.

"Only with my dream girl," said Ben and exhaled like she was the most wonderful thing in the galaxy.

His uncle huffed. "Fine, fine, as long as you keep her in your dreams."

"She's real! I want her!" Ben dug his heels into the floor and glared at his uncle, for suggesting otherwise.

* * *

 _ **KR: So you were cheating on Rey...**_

 _Who says it wasn't Rey?!_

 _ **KR: I don't believe she's the only girl you have ever thought of that way...**_

 _You even said yourself Skywalkers choose a mate for life. Nothing can change that._

 _ **KR: Yeah, like Luke with your mother...**_

 _Erm...I hope not! But, I do remember vaguely dreaming about some girl...but I don't remember her name...or if she even had one...or if she was even real..._

 _ **KR: Meaning it was not Rey, since there is no way that you would forget about her.**_

 _You do bring up a strong point...but at the same time I just...I just can't imagine it being any other than Rey..._

 _ **KR: You have a big problem...you are addicted to Rey...you are Rey-aholic...**_

 _And what of it?! You are Vader addicted!_

 _ **KR: That's cooler! And maybe, just maybe, that's the one and the same...**_

 _Huh?_

 _ **KR: I can only be addicted to Vader, ergo Rey is Vader.**_

 _I can't believe what I'm hearing!_

* * *

"OWIE!"

His uncle latched on his ear and pulled him with him. "Ben, I'm really too tired to argue anymore. She has only been in your dreams, so she is not real...or well not unless she shows up in the flesh..."

"She's real!" shouted Ben and tried to pry his uncle's ear from his ear. "Let go of me!"

"Oh, yeah, then what is her name?" Luke shot him a piercing look, without easing the pressure on his earlope.

"Erm..." Ben looked down in deep thought.

"She doesn't have a name?" scoffed Luke.

"Of course she does! I will make one up!" yelled Ben red in face over that remark and that fact that his uncle was dragging him along in that undignified manner, like he couldn't walk himself.

"Make one up...that means she doesn't exist." His uncle chuckled like he had sprung a trap on Ben.

* * *

 _ **KR: A very good point...**_

 _What the kriff! Rey is real! And she is not Vader!_

 _ **KR: Who said it was Rey...?**_

 _You did...it has to be her! I can't have dreamt about anyone else!_

 _ **KR: So she isn't real...?**_

 _WHAT? Of course she is! And let go of my ear, stupid uncle!_

 ** _KR: I thought you wanted him to punish you..._**

 _What, no! I don't want to be punished. Just..some..small attention..._

 ** _KR: What about Rey...punishing you...?_**

 _Well...erm...that's different..._

 ** _KR: Such an idiot..._**

 _Wouldn't you want Vader to punish you?_

 ** _KR: Why would I want that? He's always nice to me, always!_**

 _Really?_

 ** _KR. I got enough punishment from the supreme leader...thank you very much...and they sucked..._**

 _Oh...sorry to hear that..._

 ** _KR: Grandpappy is the best. I miss him so much..._**

 _I miss Rey...and my family...and even stupid Poe, Finn and BB-8..._

 ** _KR: This isn't a_** _**contest, you know...**_

* * *

"NO! I meant that I will make one up, until...I know her real name, stupid..." Ben glared at Luke.

"Uhu..." said his uncle in a disbelieving voice, as he dragged him on his ear into his room.

* * *

 _ **KR: You made her up.**_

 _I did not make her up...I mean...I just didn't know her name back then...that's why I didn't remember Rey...until I met her in real life..._

 _ **KR: Hmm...or maybe this wasn't Rey...?**_

 _That's impossible!_

 _ **KR: Then how come you didn't remember her...?**_

 _I don't know...I don't know anything..._

 _ **KR. While I know everything...about her...**_

 _Yeah, right..._

* * *

"We touched hands and saw each other past and...and future..." muttered Ben, as if that would somehow convince his uncle of the girl existence.

"Sounds like a dream to me." Luke let go of his ear, turned on the light with the force and lifted him into bed.

"It was...no, I mean...it still felt so real..." Ben smiled as if it was the most awesome dream ever.

His uncle tucked him in. "That can sometimes happen. Good night." He kissed his forehead and was about to turn off the light.

"But you did try to kill me..." said Ben before Luke could turn it off.

Luke stopped in the doorway. He turned around with a haunted look. "Sadly, yes...that was no dream...or nightmare...can you...ever forgive me?" He looked at Ben with a pleading look.

Ben crossed his arms over the comforter and huffed. "You know, you are nothing special. Beex also tried to kill me."

* * *

 _ **KR: Oh, you were just talking about that...similar thing happening in the past...**_

 _Just? It was horrible!_

 _ **KR: Don't be such a baby.**_

 _I was a baby at that time!_

 _ **KR: And still are...**_

* * *

"What, when?" His uncle's eyes grew wide as saucers.

"When I was two," pouted Ben.

"Oh...that's horrible..." Luke's voice trailed off.

Ben shot up in bed. "You don't believe me..."

"What did you do?" His uncle looked at him sternly.

"What did I DO? I was two years old!"

"You must have done something...did you tinker with him?" His uncle tisked, as if he was sure it was the answer.

"NO! There was some kind of virus that turned every robot into a killer robot! And I was home alone! I think..." Ben rubbed his head as he tried to remember that event.

"Oh...and you want to go home where there is no one...and no one can protect you..." Luke pursed his lips.

"You didn't protect me back then, you were just off somewhere like always," spat Ben.

"Hey, I'm here for you now." Luke smiled sadly at him.

"And tried to kill me."

"Ben..." said his uncle softly.

"I could go to unca Wanwo. He's my cool uncle. He wears a cape...and he has never tried to murder me." Ben nodded content to himself when he came up with that great idea.

* * *

 _ **KR: He still could...**_

 _Hey, unca Wanwo would never hurt me!_

 _ **KR: Are you sure...?**_

 _Yeah, he has even tried to go the betrayal route, it was his fault that dad was put in carbonite and dad forgave him! Maybe I should try to find uncle Lando...I still have his number..._

 _ **KR: He could even be your real father...**_

 _Oh, come on, enough of that! My mom is not that easy!_

 _ **KR: But would you hate that...?**_

 _I wouldn't hate that...but I still like to keep my original dad, thanks._

 _ **KR: I would prefer Vader.**_

 _That's not possible...in any way, shape or form..._

 _ **KR: One can dream...**_

* * *

"I know everything about Lando and you know as well as me, that he is just as busy as your father if not more...what do you mean, I'm not cool?" Luke gaped as if it was some great revelation and held his heart for a more dramatic effect.

"No, he's supercool and superfun...he would never lock me up in an academy..." sneered Ben.

"Lock you up, hey..." said Luke hurt.

"Instead we would go on a adventure together and he would teach me how to pick up girls...I mean the girl." Ben smiled as he imagined that awesome scenario.

"The girl...? The one you dreamt about or the chosen one? The one without a name...?" asked Luke.

"She's the one and the same, idiot," said Ben.

Luke shrugged and said in a hurt voice. "Oh...well, then too bad your cool uncle so busy...and you are stuck here with me..."

"Yeah...or maybe I should contact unca Chewie...and life with him on Kashyyyk. Me and Waroo are good friends. I would take...the girl with me." Ben muttered the last part like it was something sacred to him and looked into the ceiling like he could see her there.

"You would go nuts with all that wookie growling."  
"It's called Shyriiwook, you uncultured..." said Ben through clenched teeth and stared hatefully at his uncle, for ruining his daydream about the girl.

His uncle waved his hands in a peace offer. "Okay, okay, I will call him for you." He lifted up the com-link from his pocket.

"Really?" Ben raised his eyebrows high and sat up on the edge of the bed.

"No," depanned Luke and pocket the com-link. "Not until you admit that I'm cool as well," He smirked.

"You are not cool!" shouted Ben like it was some insult to all the cool people to call him that.

"Come on..." pleaded Luke. His blue eyes showed mock desperation.

"You are not even wearing a cape!" Ben pointed at the dirty, boring, whitish robe his uncle wore.

"I have to wear a cape to be cool?" asked his uncle in a mock stunned manner.

"Yeah," said Ben like it was common knowledge.

* * *

 _ **KR: Or a cowl.**_

 _Cape is cooler._

 _ **KR: Can't argue with that...just like Vader had!**_

 _His cape was cool..._

 ** _KR: The coolest..._**

* * *

"I can get a cape..." said Luke, who had trouble keeping the laughter over the silly argument.

"You wouldn't be cool, even with the coolest cape in galaxy."

* * *

 _ **KR: I'm saving for the coolest cape**_ **_in the galaxy._**

 _Oh...of course..._

 ** _KR: You don't believe me?_**

 _Not really..._

* * *

"Hey..." said Luke in a warning tone, since that one was too far.

"And you even have snot on your shoulder." Ben pointed at a slimy white stuff on his robe.

"From you."  
"Because you tried to kill me."

Luke groaned and rubbed his forehead. "You are seriously never going to let that go..."

"No. That's why you can never be my cool uncle..." Ben crossed his arms.

"Oh no...that's horrible..." said his uncle. "But, I'm still sorry for the near killing..."

Ben cut him off. "You will always be more like my dad, if he was stricter...and knew how to raise and treat a kid...and not leave them behind on boring islands...oh wait...then you would fail instantly..." Ben smirked.

"I didn't leave you behind anywhere and don't mind being your other father. But, that's no way to speak about your real father...I didn't even have a father...a real father...?" Luke suddenly looked far away.

"And you tried to kill me," pointed Ben out like the hundredth time.

"That's, father's stuff," said Luke carelessly, who covered his mouth a bit too late, when he realized what he had just said.

Ben was taken aback by that comeback. "Huh...so because dad hasn't tried that...he's not my real father?"

"Erm...that was not what I meant." Luke started to sweat.

"What then...?"

* * *

 _ **KR: That's not a father's thing, only a Vader's thing...and he really just chopped off his hand, no biggie...**_

 _What a shitty role model._

 _ **KR: HEY!**_

* * *

"I meant like Beex did," corrected Luke.

"He's not my father." Ben narrowed his eyes, as he knew Luke was hiding something from him as always.

"I know that..." muttered Luke, who suddenly found the plaster on the wall the most fascinating thing in the galaxy.  
"But he taught me how to cook."

His uncle turned to him with a sad smile. "That was nice of him." He scraped at the wall with his finger, making little white chips fall of it.

"And unless you are robot you have no excuse...for nearly murdering me."

"It was an accident!" shouted Luke.

"That's no excuse!"

"I just want to protect you."

"You are the only danger!"  
"NO! I'm not your enemy, Ben. You are in danger because you are the chosen one! This is the only place where you can be safe. Trust me." Luke's eyes showed real desperation now.

Ben jumped off the bed with a purpose and started to pack his things on his desk. "Well, I don't want to be the chosen one, meaning I will be out of danger. I know about another chosen one...which I will protect with all my life...she will have two protectors instead of one...so, can I go home now? Or to a different home?"

His uncle pulled back into bed as he lectured him. "You don't get to chose that!"

"I didn't ask to be the chosen one! It sucks! And come on, the new chosen one is way better than me!" Ben struggled against his uncle's hold, as if getting away from him would help him escape his destiny.

"It doesn't work that way. You are the chosen one...you don't get to choose to be the chosen one! And it doesn't have to suck...it can be fun..." Luke looked around the dark room as if he was searching for something to help his point. He sighed when he knew exactly what it was. "You will get your own lightsaber."

"I want a lightsaber..." said Ben and calmed down a little bit.

His uncle smiled when at last he got through to him. "I know you do."

Ben sat up in the bed and pleaded:"Can't I just get a lightsaber anyway? I don't care about this chosen one thing...even though dad hasn't come here yet, he can still come and get me right? And replace me with the new...and more adorable chosen one."

"No."

"Why not?" Ben pouted that even that awesome offer hadn't worked to get him home.

* * *

 _Yeah? Even though dad hasn't come, he still could...make up for that by coming now...right?_

 _ **KR: So pathetic...**_

 _Why couldn't he at least pick up Rey?_

 ** _KR: Are you sure she was even born back then...?_**

 _What?_

* * *

"This is your new home and the sooner you get used to the fact, the easier everything will be. I promise," whispered his uncle and stroked his hair soothingly.

"I...will try..." muttered Ben sadly, as he leaned into the affection by resting on his shoulder.

"Do or do not, there is no try," lectured his uncle as he kept mussing his hair.

"Yes, master...I'm just so homesick..." yawned Ben, who finally found the exhaustion get to him.

"You poor thing, you will get home eventually. I promise. I promise...my son." Luke hugged him and kissed his hair.

* * *

 _Seriously, stop calling me son! It's freaking me out!_

 _ **KR: You are always the same whiner. Nothing has changed...**_

 _You and Luke are was always keeping me from getting back home..._

 _ **KR: What?! How dare you pair me with the Jedi scum?!**_

 _You can't deny that there are certain similarities..._

 _ **KR: You take that back! I'm telling grandfather!**_

 _He would probably like that._

 _ **KR: Argh! You are so right! He wants me to like Luke...but I just can't! No matter how powerful I become, grandfather just can't stop admiring..that stupid Jedi...**_

 _You poor thing...can I go back now? I'm getting bored...and I miss Rey...greatly...clearly I'm not going to get any straight answers about her...so can we go home now?_

 _ **KR: No. You lost that privilege a long time ago...**_

 _Privilege? Come on, this isn't funny!_

 _ **KR: I'm not laughing...and truth be told I have no idea how to return...**_

 _What!? You are lying?!_

 _ **KR: Perhaps...if you behave I might let you go...**_

 _You are such a jerk..._

* * *

"But, when can I go home...?" asked Ben and pointed at a calendar on the wall, since he wanted his uncle to mark down the exact day and time.

"You can leave the minute the darkness is completely gone from you. When that happens, I will give your father a call...I mean your mother, and she will let him know where you are. He doesn't even know where you are now...this is a very secret place you know, not anyone can just come here...people need a map and such to even find this place," said his uncle as if he was proud of the fact, that his school was in the middle of nowhere. "So your father can't just show up here unannounced."

Ben lifted his head up with a frown. "I never said he did...meaning you are lying! He did come here!" He punched him on the chest.

His uncle owed and rubbed his chest. "No, you have just told me plenty of dreams, where he showed up out of nowhere...to rescue you, even though there is no reason for him to do that. In fact, this is the only place where you are safe."

"I have never told you any of those things...safe? Are you kidding? You tried to kill me!" exclaimed Ben.

Luke sighed. "I don't know how many time I have to say you that I'm sorry for that. It will never happen again, so there is no reason for your father to come and rescue you. In fact, he can't since he doesn't even know where you are. It's top secret, not even your mom knows of our location." He whispered the last part like it was some great surprise.

Ben's eyes widened as he took in the new information. "Does that mean that dad doesn't even know where I am...right now...?"

Luke nodded. "He thinks you are asleep in your bed, which you are not. I'm exhausted as well, so I'm going to bed. Good night." He ruffled his hair and stood up, certain that their battle is over, at least for the night.

"Can I call dad...not to to bring me home, just to talk about the important stuff...about the girl?" pleaded Ben to get some middle ground.

His uncle furrowed his brows in confusion. "What girl?" His look was like someone who had lost an important page in a script. "The chosen one or your dream girl?"

* * *

 _Like my father would've liked me to disrupt him like that...always too busy for me...please tell me that girl is Rey...? Both of them! All of them!_

 _ **KR: He still is too busy...do you honestly want every girl to be Rey...?**_

 _Kind of...she's the only girl I have ever been interested in...but dad has hardly left my side since I came back..._

 _ **KR: That's just because he is guarding you...**_

 _Guarding me...?_

 _ **KR: You are too dangerous to be left alone...**_

 _I'm not alone, I have Rey._

 _ **KR: I didn't mean it like that, you fool!**_

* * *

"She is the one and the same," muttered Ben, as she was something holy to him.

Luke knits his brows. "Is that the important stuff...why would your father be interested in that...?" His uncle looked deep in thought, as if he was picturing Han suddenly being interested in force stuff, until it dawned on him. "Oh...are you looking for girl advice?"

* * *

 _ **KR: Yeah, right from him?**_

 _Hey, he got mom...eventually..._

 _ **KR: I call that luck, if Luke wasn't her brother you know she would...or did she...?**_

 _UGH! SHUT UP! And mom and dad were together before she even found out!_

 _ **KR: Are you sure...a lot could've happened while your dad was frozen...**_

 _STOP!_

 _ **KR: Maybe you are in fact, Luke's...have thought about that...? Or Lando's?**_ _**Or Chewie's...?**_

 _I'm going to hit you!_

 _ **KR: Good luck with that...**_

* * *

"No...he can save her," said Ben with certainty.

"Save...? From what? Not sure how...it might even be too late for that...and I thought she was fiction..." Luke scratched his head, like they were back at square one in a game he didn't knew he had been playing.

"She's real!" shouted Ben over the sacrilege. "She's my everything, stupid!" He kicked his feet under the comforter.

Luke frowned at him. "I know what your game is. You would never call just to chat...not even about how to get girls...beside you can't do that, don't forget the Jedi code. Don't think you can fool me so easily."

"How about tomorrow then...?"

"The time doesn't matter as I don't know how to contact your father...except through your mother and you are never allowed to get a girlfriend. Go to sleep now...before I kill you for real..." His uncle blinked him teasingly.

Ben looked outraged, as the door closed behind Luke.

* * *

 _Why the kriff doesn't he want me to contact dad?_

 _ **KR: Because he knows, you will only get disappointed...as always...**_

 _And screw you Luke, I can get every girl I want!_

 _ **KR: I thought you wanted just Rey...**_

 _She is my everything...every girl I mean..._

 _ **KR: Why do I even bother...?**_

* * *

 _Next up: Dreams of another life..._


	28. Dreams of another life

_AN: Thank you so much for your support! You guys rock! I simply had to dedicate another chapter to the awesome_ UnknownSeven7!

 _Thank you so much for your kind words! They really made me feel warm inside, especially when I have been crippled with self doubt. Truth is, I am an author and filmmaker (director and scriptwriter) in my homeland, but because of my mental illness (I got PTSD after some serious mental breakdowns), I haven't been able to pursue that career actively for some years. So writing and reading Star Wars fanfiction is my greatest therapy. No wonder I relate so to poor Kylo/Ben, who has a trauma (and PTSD) of his own! That poor boy was so terrified when Luke showed up on Crait! Still good that Luke did show up, since Ben was about to make some pretty big mistakes..._

 _I really just want to see Ben be happy with Rey! And everything points to a happy ending (as a an author and scriptwriter I can see that, plus I have read tons of meta), but we have to wait for episode 9 for that epic conclusion (the recent script leaks on reddit, gimmie a break, are of course fake - some could be true like with TLJ, but I really call that a lucky guess, because most of it was far off like I knew...)._

 _But, until we get to see the movie, we can read or/and write fanfiction! :)_

 _Spoiler alert. this fic (or rather the sequel) will of course have the cheesiest, most glorious happy ending there is. ;) But first, lots of angst, fluff and silliness!_

 _Some references to the EU/Legends, I have never read them, just read about them so there might be some mistakes...and there will be spoilers from them..._

 _Enough blabbering and on with the story! This silly chapter got so long I had to divide it, so the next chapter shouldn't be too far behind. More Kylo tormenting Ben...and the other way around...that's only fair..._

 _Happy Star Wars day! May the fourth be with you!_

* * *

Chapter twenty eight - Dreams of another life

Little Ben was pacing outside his uncle's office, when the first light of the morning sunlight flooded through the window after the constant downpour of the night.

* * *

 _Is this really another day? How many days are you going to show me?_

 _ **KR: As many as it takes.**_

* * *

The short bit of silence and peace was over, the minute the other padawans streamed out of their rooms, laughing and some bumped into him as they ran for the dining hall. Ben didn't move an inch, no matter how they tried to shove him away. However, one in particular, one of the little knights of Ren, couldn't leave him alone. It was the one called Ren Ren Ren, a mysterious padawan that always wore dark clothes and a strange mask with a voice changer, so no one knew how they really looked like or even their gender...or even it was their real name. They knight's name was simply Ren Ren and all the other little knights dressed the same, but wore different masks.

"What are you doing here, loser?" Ren Ren force pushed him against the wall, as the other five knights surrounded them. "Always Solo? You will die a virgin."

* * *

 _Will not!_

 ** _KR: I'm not a virgin_**... ** _you are..._**

 _Oh, right...that's so..._

 ** _KR: Pretty sure bloodthirty violent murderer Ren Ren_ _is a virgin..._**

 _And you think the virgin part is the worst of that insult...?_

 ** _KR: What insult...?_**

* * *

The other knights laughed loudly at the poor joke, even though their children mind probably didn't even understand what Ren Ren was really saying.

Ben didn't answer or fight back. He didn't have time for that now. He focused on the light streaming from the window, like it was his lifeline.

"Did you sleep out here...? That's good you snore so loudly and..." taunted Ren Ren.

"And he smells!" added another one of the little knights.

"HEY! Did I ask you to butt in?" snapped Ren Ren.

"No...sorry...master Ren Ren..." answered the knights all as one.

"You better sleep outside, because I will not tolerate you screaming like a girl when you have nightmares...or when I torture you..." Ren Ren turned on its saber and held it closely to Ben's throat.

Ben still didn't answer and tried to block out Ren Ren's taunts and the lightsaber humming, by closing his eyes and praying to the force.

"Are you deaf?!" Ren Ren pushed him hard against the wall, just as the door to Luke's office flew open.

"Hey! Leave my son alone. Go to class, now! Or each of you will get a month in detention," threatened Luke and the little knights screamed in terror and scattered away instantly.

"Teacher's pet!" yelled Ren Ren, right before they disappeared around the corner.

* * *

 _ **KR: Stupid Ren Ren...brave like a mouse...afraid of detention of all things! Teacher's pet, how dare?! And I had a way cooler mask!**_

 _Hello...how many days are you going to show me...?_

 _ **Just one...I just remembered what I wanted to show you really happened another night. But, first you had to see the part where Luke nearly killed you, so you would understand the context...**_

 _What for? It's my brain._

 _ **KR: I know...but you need a little help sometimes...or well great help...you are that stupid...**_

 _HEY! I really...really don't see any point in hanging around here anymore! We can't even do anything but watch...without my Rey..._

 _ **KR: You think it's frustrating for you? I'm have been looking all over for this guy and he's right here...and I can't even touch him! Just a kriffing illusion! Stupid Jedi!**_

 _When you put it like that..._

 _ **KR: I don't even have my lightsaber to try to poke him with! Or impale...or slice or...**_

 _I get it...you hate him..._

 _ **KR: When I have killed him, I will have killed the last Jedi!**_

 _And then what? What do you plan on doing after you have done that...?_

 _ **KR: Oh, I will figure something out...like ruling the galaxy!**_

 _I thought Snoke was the one in charge..._

 _ **KR: For now.**_

 _What?_

 _ **KR: Nothing...**_

* * *

"Ben...are you alright...did you sleep out here in the hallway?" fussed his uncle over him, as he took in his disheveled clothes and the dark circles under his eyes. "But I...I thought you were afraid of thunder...oh, no I forgot to mute your window. Did you sleep at all?" His uncle shook his head tiredly. "What should I do with you?"

"Yes, I can," said Ben darkly, like he was answering a different question, when the truth was that he done his best to fall asleep by muffling the sound by his pillow, but the thunder only seemed to get stronger by the second until Ben had enough and went to stand in front of his uncle's office, to guilt trip him for leaving him alone and not allowing him to go home like he so desperatly wanted.

"What?" Luke stepped away from him, as he studied him carefully.

"I can get a girlfriend, you don't control what I do." Ben looked at him stubbornly. "I don't plan to stay here forever."

His uncle sighed and went to get on with his day. "Of course not..."

"So I can get married when I leave here?" Ben followed after him.

* * *

 _ **KR: Married? Someone is in a rush...you don't even have a girlfriend...**_

 _You mean I don't have Rey...and that's just something all kids say..._

 _ **KR. Jedi kids too? What about the code?**_

 _I must admit that's a bit unorthodox...not that I did ever follow that stupid code..._

 _ **KR: That was wise of you...**_

 _The knights also hated the code..._

 ** _KR: Thus we became "friends" or rather frenemies..._**

 _Whatever you say..._

* * *

"Married?" Luke scoffed. "Maybe...but while here you only do the things I tell you, because I am your master..."

"Only master of evil..." muttered Ben under his breath.

His uncle turned to him with wide eyes. "Excuse me?"

"I said nothing." Ben avoided meeting Luke's furious eyes, by looking at the wall at his side.  
"Master of evil...you say? I will show you master of evil." His uncle grabbed his ear and dragged him inside his office.

"No, no, I take it back!" pleaded Ben as he struggled against his hold.

* * *

 _Okay, he did punish me._

 _ **KR: Prick.**_

 _Cue, this stupid memory ending!_

 _ **KR: Nope...just a another time skip...**_

 _Timeskip...that's better than nothing I guess..._

 _ **KR: And...maybe a montage...**_

 _What...is this a film? Are you editing my memories...?!_

 _ **KR: Don't worry, I won't censor anything.**_

 _Of course you won't..._

* * *

Little Ben pouted as he scrubbed and cleaned thoroughly the painted robes in a big washbasin. His uncle watched his every move sternly through the window and would use the force to make Ben go back to work again, each time he dared to take a nap in the soft, warm grass.

Usually Ben would relish in being outside, especially in a sunny weather like this, instead of inside the stuffy classroom and being forced to listen to his uncle's dogmatic lectures, but today, he would have done anything to switch places with the other padawans. Mainly because he was so deadly tired. He pictured the stupid knights slaving in his stead and that made him feel somewhat better.

He wiped sweat of his brow, it was unbelievably hot all of a sudden or maybe his body temperature was rising due to his night adventures and the fact that he hadn't slept a wink thanks to the thunder. Ben was so exhausted that he wanted nothing more than to dip into the cool water. The sunlight sparkled on the water and suddenly he felt like he saw the face of the girl of his dreams, smiling at him from the surface. It was like the water held a whole new world and she was beckoning him to join her, at the other side...her side.

The water was so hypnotizing, it danced before his eyes, as he touched her reflection tenderly and then there was nothing but darkness...

He had barely registered that he had fallen in the freezing water, when he heard screaming and suddenly he was flying several meters into the air. He threw up the soapy water and coughed and coughed till lung hurts. The water burned his throat and tasted terribly. Ben looked through watery eyes to see his uncle run towards him.

"Really, Ben. Only you could drown while doing the laundry."

Luke caught him and took him inside, just as he passed out in his arms.

* * *

 _I nearly drowned! What was Rey doing down there...?_

 _ **KR: And your uncle saved you...so from my point of view...you owe him a life debt...**_

 _Really? And Rey...?_

 _ **KR: No. He tried too many times to kill you, so I would say that negated the life debt...**_

 _That's not how it works...but you have a point...what about Rey...?_

 _ **KR: Of course I do**... **stupid, you were just imagining there being someone there**... **there wasn't anyone**... **and not necessarily...not Rey...**_

 _Oh...and now there is...?_

 _ **KR: Another timeskip...**_

 _What about the montage?_

 _ **KR: I'm still working on that...maybe I don't need one...**_

 _Good to see you have your priorities straight.._

 ** _KR: Oh, like you are one to talk!_**

* * *

"Noooo, come back! Dada, come back!" Ben woke up startled and disoriented after the dream, until he saw he lay on his uncle's sofa under the softest and the warmest blanket. The sun shone through the window on the top of his uncle's head, where he was working at his desk.

"Oh, you are awake." His uncle smiled at him, despite his desperate screaming like he was far too used to them.

Ben tossed off the blanket, sat up and stared like a madman into his uncle's eyes. "Where is he?!" Like he was expecting his uncle to hide his dada under his desk.

"Who...?" asked his uncle without looking up from his work and added. "Are you feeling better?"

"Where is dad?" asked Ben firmly and crossed his arms with a fearsome scowl, without acknowledging the other question.

"He isn't here..." replied Luke, as he picked up the blanket from the floor and tugged him in. "Try to get some more sleep." He patted his head and was about to return back to work when Ben gripped his arm.

"I know that! I mean when will he come back?" He was going to throw the blanket dramatically off again, but his uncle stopped him by putting a comforting hand on top of his hand.

"I don't know," he replied honestly. "And he never came here...so..."

"Where is the girl?!" asked Ben, before they could go back into the argument whether or not it was a dream.

"What girl?" asked uncle surprised over the sudden change of subjects.

"The chosen one!" shouted Ben like he was explaining something important to the most dense person in the galaxy. "I saw her! She was right there!" He pointed into the distance at the light shining inside.

* * *

 _ **KR: You know there is no way that can be Rey.**_

 _And why not!_

 _ **KR: She wasn't even born yet, how can you dream about someone who didn't even exist back then...?**_

 _Erm...have you never hear of prophecies? Grandpa Ani had lot of those...and I thought you were Vader fanboy number one..._

 _ **KR: Of course I know that! What I mean is...it's possible...that you made her...**_

 _What?_

* * *

"Calm down. It was just a dream..." Luke picked up Ben's book and his calligraphy set from his duffle bag. "You really should get working on your essay...to take your mind of your dad and her..."

* * *

 _What do you mean made her?_

 _ **KR: Like gave her a name and such...**_

 _Are you trying to tell me...that I created Rey...? Named her...?_

 _ **KR: I never said it was Rey...it could just be some girl...**_

 _And what happened to that...girl?_

 _ **KR: How should I know...or maybe that girl never existed in the first place...or maybe we were that girl...the dream was just about us...symbolic...**_

 _I'm getting a headache!_

 _ **KR: Good!**_

* * *

"What essay?" Now it was Ben's turn to be surprised. He stared between his book and his uncle.

"You know, what I'm talking about. Your punishment essay. I want you to work on it now." Luke handed him the calligraphy set.

"But...I too tired in my arms," whined Ben, since he had been scrubbing robes all morning and nearly drowned because of it.

His uncle huffed and took his seat behind the desk. "Fine, then let's talk about your...adventures last night." He steepled his fingers with a grin.

Ben gulped when his uncle trapped him like that. "Wait, before you do that...can I call dad..?"

"Are you going to tell him how naughty you have been?" asked his uncle, knowing well the answer to that question.

"No... I just want to talk to him," muttered Ben. "Please..."

"About what? He can't bring you home until you have gotten ridden of the darkness...and he is far too busy to go and pick up some random girl for you." His uncle shook his head and went to work.

"She's not random!" cried Ben insulted. "She is the most awesome person in the whole world!"

"Whatever you say...you are grounded," stated Luke and Ben knew better than to ask for what, so he asked instead. "For how long?"

"Life."

* * *

 _ **KR: Prick.**_

 _Prick._

* * *

"So I can never talk to my parents...?" asked Ben appalled, like Luke had declared life prison sentence.  
"Not unsupervised."

"Not even mom...?" pleaded Ben.

"Well...of course...I can trust her, so..." Luke's glanced around wildly like he was expecting Leia to show up and yell at him for even entertaining that idea.  
"Trust...? To do what?" asked Ben and looked for his mom as well.

"You can talk to her whenever you like..." Luke opened his desk drawer to get the com-link, but snapped it shut."Oh, no scratch that...I will talk to her first. Explain something...important." He gulped at he tried in vain to find a good enough explanation for why he nearly killed Ben. "But, Beex did it as well...maybe she will understand..." pondered Luke.

"When are you going to call her?" asked Ben and interrupted his musings.

"Right before your bedtime." His uncle looked out the window behind him. "Which will be soon." He turned back to Ben with a smile.

Ben frowned at him, because the sun was still high in the sky, which meant that he would be getting a way too early bedtime on top of a lifetime grounding. "Why not, now?"

"She's busy...and I'm busy," said his uncle as kept working.  
"With what?"

"Watching you," said his uncle as he looked sharply up from his work and glared at him.

Ben gulped under the accusing stare. "You don't need to watch me...I will behave, I promise." He gave him the most innocent smile and opened up his book, to pretend to work on his essay.

Luke scoffed. "I will believe that when I see it."

"Don't you have some kind of a mind-link? Like you have with me...can't you just contact her that way?" pointed Ben out, as he used his pencils to write in the notebook.

"I only use that in emergencies," His uncle nodded, happy that Ben was working on his essay at last.

"Can you call dad?" asked Ben innocently without missing a beat in writing.

"The same rules apply to him. I'm still busy with you...and I don't have his number remember, just your mother's. He never came here, remember...and gave it to me..." he muttered.

"Oh...I guess him coming here was just a dream, then..." muttered Ben dejectedly, as he dipped the pencil into an ink and on the paper again.

"It was."

"But what about the toy Falcon...no he took it back...but the lollipop...I lost it...I have no proof...anything happened. It must have been a dream." With one mighty swipe, he hit the ink bottle and it spilled all over the paper. "Oh no." He bit his lip hard and looked to be about to cry.

* * *

 _ **KR: Did you even go and look for the lollipop in the grass...?**_

 _No...it was raining and it could've been an old one..._

 _ **KR: True the Knights were always munching on one, like that was cool and littering...such vandalism...**_

 _I still can't believe it was all just a stupid dream! Too many things don't add up! It felt too real! You are lying to me!_

 _ **KR: You don't add up! And I didn't say anything, it was Luke! Blame him not me...and your brain, but not me for making you think something was real that was obviously false...but really this isn't even all of the truth...**_

 _It isn't...?_

 _ **KR: No, there is something more, as you said. Something that will explain everything...**_

 _Can't we just go back? Please, I have seen enough!_

 _ **KR: You can't return...yet...**_

 _Figures...it better be a information about Rey's origin, so I can bring her some news..._

 _ **KR: You really just care about her...?**_

 _Kind of...I wonder if she is the dreamgirl I speak of...she better be..._

 _ **KR: You are beyond pathetic...what if she is just that...a dream?**_

 _Then she is a wonderful dream!_

 _ **KR: You are hopeless...what if she is Vader...?**_

 _That's...how could that even be...?!_

* * *

Luke removed the ink soaked book before Ben could burst into tears. "My dear padawan...I am too tired to understand anything you are saying...when was this? Dream?" He ripped the page out. "Maybe you should just use a pencil..." He handed him the notebook back and a pencil. "That's far safer."

* * *

 _ **KR: I could stab you with it!**_

 _Did we...?_

 _ **KR: No.**_

 _What a shame..._

 ** _KR: But, he did get stabbed..._**

 _Huh...what...how...?_

* * *

"It doesn't matter, it was all a dream anyway...right?" wonders Ben sadly and exhaled dramatically.

"Yes, but...maybe the dream was trying to tell you something...since you lost those things. To represent something you hold dear...? It could help with your training...and give you inspiration for your essay." Luke pointed at the book. "You can go back to work."

"What do you dream about?" asked Ben without starting again on his paper.  
"Me...it depends...a family," said Luke in a dream-like voice.

* * *

 _But he has a family..._

 _ **KR: Not of his own...**_

 _What are we then_... _next door neighbors?_

 ** _KR: You know what I mean..._**

* * *

"A family? But, you have a family. You have me, mom, dad, Lando, Threepio, Chewie, Artoo, right...? You even call me...son. Even though I'm just your nephew," said Ben.

Luke seemed to stare into the distance. "I know that and you are not just my nephew...but, I dream about a different family. Some are the same yes...but you don't exist there..." He said the last part in a mystified voice, which made Ben grow colder than when he fell into the wash basin.

"I don't...is that good...for you? Would you want that?" Ben's teeth shivered and his eyes looked for way out, as if his uncle has plans to make that into reality.

Luke, who saw his fearful expression, sat down next to him and wrapped his arms around him. "Of course not, silly, even though you drive me crazy sometimes...or well you do exist there...you are just different...two people. Light and dark. Ben Skywalker and Jacen Solo."

* * *

 _I am two different people._

 _ **KR: I am only awesome me...and Vader.**_

 _That makes no sense...I thought Rey was Vader...logic error..._

 _ **KR: It means you don't exist...**_

 _Oh come on!_

 _ **KR: Just listen to Luke...**_

 _So silly..._

* * *

"Ben...Skywalker. He's your son...in this dream?" asked Ben, as he tried to make sense of what his uncle was saying, like it was a new study material instead of just a dream world.

"Yes...and the best kid ever." Luke smiled, but with hint of sorrow, like he lost something dear to him.

"Oh, then nothing like me," said Ben sadly.  
"I didn't say that." His uncle cupped his chin and he stared deeply into his eyes. "I will always love you, kid."

"Light and dark...you mean like me and Kylo?" asked Ben in his best student voice and to force his uncle to go back to being a teacher, instead of being so kriffing mushy.

* * *

 _ **KR: What are we best friends forever?**_

 _Never._

 _ **KR: Exactly.**_

* * *

"No, hang on..." Luke looked deep in thought and then he rambled on: "I think it would be better to say you are like Jacen and Darth Caedus, as they were one and the same, while Ben and Jacen are two separate people...from two separate families...but I also like to think about you as my son, Ben Skywalker...and maybe even, Jacen's twin sister, Jaina and his little brother Anakin Solo...no that's too far fetched, they might exist elsewhere...as someone else..." he finished, as he tried to make sense of his dream world as well.

* * *

 _ **KR: Rey is probably like Jaina in his world...**_

 _She's not my sister! She's my dream girl! I think...I mean that I literally dreamt about her...she is my dream girl...I'm sure of it! And she is not Vader!_

 _ **KR: Are you sure Rey is the girl of your dreams...?**_

 _YES!_

 _ **KR: Then you might be in a shock for lifetime...**_

 _Shut up...she is not Vader._

 _ **KR: I didn't mean it like that...she could be someone else entirely...**_

 _Who?_

* * *

"What?" Ben looked lost after his uncle's ramblings.

"Don't worry about it...I'm just rambling, it was just a dream and some of it was even a nightmare...that's is never going to repeat itself." His uncle frowned at him sternly.

"Oh...okay..."

"So don't turn to the darkside like Jacen, he killed my wife when he turned dark."

"You don't have a wife..."  
"That's beside the point! Don't turn ever. It's dangerous...for you and us..." He shook a finger at him. "EVER!"

"Okay...what happened to this Jacen...?"

"He was killed by his twin sister, Jaina," said Luke grimly. "So don't turn to the darkside, ever."

* * *

 _ **KR: The joke's on you Luke. We did turn! Mwhahaha!**_

 _And Rey's not going to kill me...not literally anyway..._

 _ **KR: I thought she wasn't your sister...**_

 _She's not...she's my dream...not Vader...don't know...I'm so confused! Why is uncle rambling about some dreamworld? Why does it matter? It didn't happen...or well not like that...I did betray him...eventually..._

 _ **KR: It clearly matters to him...**_

* * *

"Oh...okay...weird...killed by his family...that's kind of sad..."

"Right? And you nearly experienced that...like me," said Luke in a hollow voice. "So horrible."

"Wha..." Ben looked around. "What family member has tried to kill you...mom?" he whispered conspiratorially.

"No! It doesn't matter. That's why I don't want you to kill your enemy in your essay. It's way too sad...and your made up rival is family. You don't kill family. I don't kill family..." Luke whispered like it was some holy rite, or something had to remember.

"Not even if they turn against...or betray you...?" asked Ben innocently and his uncle hugged him tightly. "What kind of question is that, no! What happened tonight was an accident! An accident!"

"Just curious, so you wouldn't try to kill me if I turned dark?"

His uncle jumped off the sofa and paced in front of him with a thunderous expression.

* * *

 _Oh, o..._

 _ **KR: Pfff...**_

* * *

"You will never turn dark! What do you think I'm trying to do here? What do you think your training is for? Why do you think I'm much harder on you than my other students?"

Ben jumped down as well. "That didn't answer my question. Don't answer my question, with more questions, that's just rude." He crossed his arm with a frown and his uncle lifted him back onto the sofa.

"I'm sorry. No, of course I wouldn't do that. I love you. I will never hurt you. Your family will never hurt you."

* * *

 _ **KR: That's bullshit.**_

 _True..._

* * *

"Ow." Luke grimaced as the pencil stabbed him in hand, where it was hidden under the blanket, as he put it over Ben. "And you will never hurt family," his uncle said sternly as he removed the pointy object and put it into Ben's hand. "This is only to write with."

"Of course," replied Ben solemnly.

"Of course, what?"

"I will never hurt family."

* * *

 _ **KR: Ahahaha...see I told you he would get stabbed by that pencil!**_

 _Wow...that was anticlimatic..._

 ** _KR: You're anticlimatic!_**

* * *

"Good." His uncle ruffled his hair and took his seat behind his desk, as he got back in teacher mode:"Let's go back to your essay. The girl that you will fight...only in fiction, is your family."

"How is she family?" asked Ben as he drew up a family tree.

"Up to you. She is fiction anyway."

"So she is family...my dream girl..." said Ben in a daze as he stared out the window.

"You are going to use your dream girl after all? I told you she was family...you don't even have a name for her!" yelled his uncle like that was the biggest problem.

"She will be family and I do have a name for her!" shot Ben back.

"Oh, yeah, then what is it...?" challenged Luke.

"Erm...the girl...that's her name..." muttered Ben as wrote the words, the girl next to himself on the family tree.

"That is not a name."

Ben erased the word the girl and wrote another. "Scavenger...?"

His uncle frowned at him. "That's very rude."

Ben looked up from the book with a scowl. "Why? That's what she does for a living...or will do for a living...unless I go and pick her up and give her a different life. She could learn to be a Jedi." Ben sighed contently and added Jedi to the word Scavenger girl. And the thought better of it and added future wife before Jedi.

"Yes, but don't call her scavenger. It would be like you had no name and would just be called Jedi Padawan...or naughty nephew..." said Luke, who had no idea about what Ben was really writing in his book, or he would be most displeased by the breaking of the Jedi code and see how the word naughty fitted him extremely well at the moment.

"Oh...she would be Jedi Padawan as well." said Ben as he started drawing a picture of her over her supposed title.

"Still not a name. Do you want me to help you find a name for her...?" offered Luke.

"NO! She is mine." Ben held the book close to his heart.

"Just...asking..." muttered Luke, a bit taken back by his possessiveness. "And you don't own her..."

"The chosen one...?" said Ben and added those words to his dream girl already long title.

"A bit better...but that is still not a name..." pointed his uncle out.

Ben looked up from his book and pursed his lips."Do I have to name her?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"It makes it more personal. Like how I found out Vader's real name..." Luke stiffened.

"Oh...? What was that...? I didn't know he had another name aside from Darth Vader."

* * *

 _ **KR: He didn't. Luke is just bullshitting like always.**_

 _His real name was Anakin._

 _ **KR: NO! He killed Anakin!**_

 _But, doesn't that mean that Anakin killed Vader by coming back?_

 _ **KR: Yes, just so he would die again...what a loser!**_

 _Don't you dare call my grandfather a loser!_

 _ **KR: My grandfather is greater than yours!**_

 _It's the same guy!_

 _ **KR: IS NOT!**_

* * *

"Erm...and he called me Luke. It really changed the dynamic in your relationship...so it's very important you know what your...future enemy name is. Even, if it's just for this essay," said Luke hurriedly, but he was in luck since Ben had no interest in Vader at the moment as he was too busy thinking about and drawing his dream girl.

* * *

 _ **KR: Blasphemy! There is always time to think about Vader!**_

 _No, Rey! This is about Rey...right?_

 _ **KR: You think about her twenty-four seven!**_

 _Erm...I don't think I have even known her that long..._

 _ **KR: And you don't see the problem...with that...**_

 _You never even knew Vader!_

 _ **KR: I'm not going to answer that!**_

* * *

"Ben, have you found a name for your future enemy?" asked his uncle.

"Enemy? My dream girl is not my enemy," snapped Ben at him, as he drew a line between his name and his dream girl, to indicate that they were married in the family tree.

"Your enemy doesn't have to be your dream girl, she could be someone else...like one of the knights here...like Ren Ren...though I don't know what gender..." said Luke, like that was some kind of a problem until it clicked. "Of course your enemy doesn't have to be a girl..."

"No, I only want her even as...some kind of an enemy..." Ben drew a line from his dream girl and him, to mark their future twins, Kylo and Padmé.

* * *

 _ **KR: You have thought about the name of your future children...but not her own name...?**_

 _I must admit that's...very...unorthodox..._

 _ **KR: I call that creepy...**_

 _Yeah...it is...but I was just a stupid kid..._

 _ **KR: Still is stupid...and a kid...but thanks for naming your kid after me.**_

 _That's not going to happen!_

 _ **KR: It was worth a try...**_

* * *

"Okay, fine mister stubborn. For the sake of the argument, let say your dream girl is your enemy...at least at first. Like enemy to...friends...?"

"Lovers," corrected Ben.

"Fine, what is her name? Just make something up," pleaded Luke, like Ben couldn't begin his essay until he had sorted that out.

Ben stopped drawing and looked deep in thought, like it was the hardest thing he had ever had to come up with.

* * *

 _The name of the dream girl slash might have been, but will never be my enemy, will never be revealed and that's why I didn't know who the girl was, until I met Rey...or maybe it was some other girl...no definitely Rey...it can't have been another scavenger and she is definitely the chosen one. But, I never knew her real name and thus I always just called her...the girl...even though I had already named our children...!_

 _ **KR: Or you called her Vader...grandfather...**_

 _I certainly never called her that! I most likely never found a name for her...or maybe some placeholder name but at least not..._

* * *

"Rey," breathed Ben out at last.

"Ray...?" said Luke surprised.

Ben nodded and pointed at the sunlight that was streaming through the window. "Yes, like a ray of light, except it is written with an e and not an a." He smiled happily.

* * *

 _Sith no! How could I forget her! I even named her! Wait...named her...? Is she a pet?!_

 _ **KR: You didn't just name her! I told you, you are her creator! You created her for your stupid essay! You can say to her: "Rey, I'm your father...no creator! Or maker!" Just like how you created me! That's way worse than her just being your sister! I told you the truth was shocking! She is Vader! Reborn!**_

 _I have no idea how you jumped to that ludicrous conclusion..._

 _ **KR: Haha, just messing with ya...but still weird that you knew her name...very suspicious...kind of like you really made her just for your stupid story...like a manic pixie dream girl...or a Mary sue...**_

 _Rey's not a Mary sue! This is just a coincidence...nothing but a pure coincidence...you are just messing with me! I only got her name...by a chance...somehow...in a dream? Way before she was...born...?_

 _ **KR: Maybe...**_

 _I DID NOT CREATE HER!_

 _ **KR: Are you sure she even exist...?**_

 _I dreamt about her...right...right? She told me her name in the dream?! Even before she was born...I didn't make her! I'm not her maker!_

 _ **KR: But, if you were...would you stop loving her...?**_

 _Of course not!_

 _ **KR: Then what is the problem?**_

 _She will hate me if she ever finds out that I'm the one responsible for all her misery!_

 _ **KR: Won't she anyway?**_

 _Why?_

 _ **KR: You are a very hateable guy.**_

 _Thanks...not! I could say the same thing about you!_

 _ **KR: Hey, that hurt!**_

* * *

"Rey? That is a really cute name...but why is she light side, I told you you are not turning dark!" scolded Luke, but it fell on Ben's deaf ears who hummed and doodled hearts around the now added name Rey.

"But I already have a darkside name, Kylo Ren, and it's way too much of hassle to come up with a darkside for her...unless..." He glanced up and nodded. "Vader...yeah, I can call her that...Darth Vader Rey." Ben went back to his drawing, like he hadn't said anything earth shattering, so he missed it when his uncle got white in face and looked like he was sick.

"WHAAAT?!" shouted Luke and fell back in his seat, like Vader has just risen from back from the dead and was waving at him with a smile.

* * *

 _ **KR: What?!**_

 _What...? How dare I call Rey...Vader...?_

 _ **KR: Yeah. She's below him...**_

 _She's way above him!_

 _ **KR: Or is him...?**_

 _WHAT?_

 _ **KR: Nothing...**_

 _Not this again!_

* * *

 _Next up: Dreams of another different life..._


	29. Dreams of another different life

_AN: Thanks as always for the support! You guys rock! A real special shoutout to UnknownSeven7!_ _Thank you so much for your kind words, they mean the world to me! They really keep me going. Same here, all my support to you! I hope you are doing well and if not, at least this update might brighten your day somewhat. :)_

 _So sorry for the delay, I decided to take a little break since I felt a little burned out and to recharge I watched the world cup since my country was participating for the first time (Iceland). I also worked on other Star Wars stories as well as rewrote this one. I plan on updating at least once a month, but I will try to update as often as I can. At least another chapter will come out before the end of this month..._

 _I hope you all enjoy one of the longest (kind of like double chapter) and craziest chapters! (but with some plot...and real setup for stuff - I promise!) Poor mini Ben...still stuck with his grouchy uncle (who means well, but is doing it so, so wrong!) And Big Ben is stuck with Big Kylo..there will be a mini Kylo in later chapters. ;)_

 _Reference from the Solo movie and there will be more in later chapters (loved that movie!)_

* * *

Chapter twenty nine - Dreams of another different life

"VADER?" sputtered Luke out as he got back on his feet after falling over in surprise after Ben's declaration.

His nephew didn't have any time to answer him nor did he have any interest to do so, as he continued happily doodling his Darth Vader Rey and because out of seemly nowhere, the little knights of Ren showed up outside the office window with expression like Life Day had arrived early.

"Vader...where?" They looked expectantly at Luke, their current master and peered into the office as they were expecting to see Vader there, assuming his post as their new headmaster.

* * *

 _ **KR: That would've been awesome!**_

 _Well, he didn't..._

 _ **KR: I know...it sucks! I would've loved the Jedi academy if that would've been the case...wait why would Vader being teaching in a Jedi academy! Doesn't make any sense. It would be the Sith academy! Why is there no Sith academy! So unfair! We should create one!**_

 _You are not starting a Sith academy._

 _ **KR: Spoilsport...**_

* * *

"There is no Vader. Go back to lightsaber training...and stop thinking about Vader. You are lightside." Luke shooed the the knights away like they were pesky little mynocks on a starship.

* * *

 _Lightsaber training? Why was I not part of that...?_

 _ **KR: Why do you think?**_

 _It doesn't matter I was too focused on Rey anyway..._

 _ **KR: That hasn't changed a bit...**_

 _And you are always focused on Vader._

 _ **KR: Well, yeah...Rey is Vader.**_

 _SHE'S NOT!_

 _ **KR: Oh, you of little faith...**_

 _It has nothing to do with faith, but keeping your head on straight!_

 _ **KR: Which you don't do...**_

 _Erm...well...I..._

* * *

"Yeah, yeah..." murmured the knights as they scurried away.

"So boring..." said one of them under his breath.

"What about him?" said Ren Ren, the bane of Ben's existence, who decided to stick around to torment Ben, just by being close to him. Which made the others knights stop as well, as they didn't think independently and where always looking for a leader.

Luke spared Ben a little glance, where he sat innocently on the sofa and drew pictures of his Darth Vader Rey, before turning back to Ren Ren and the little knights, outside the window. "He's in detention. Now go...or you will join him..."

All of little knights scattered away in fright as detention was at that time, their worst nightmare.

"I'm in detention...and grounded for life?" Ben looked up from his Rey drawings and at his uncle in disbelief when the knights were gone. That statement had managed to rip his attention away from his dream girl for a second, which was a great feat in itself, as he hadn't even looked up when a lightsaber training was mentioned or hardly noticed when the little knights had arrived or left.

"Of course," replied his uncle like it had been a rhetorical question.

* * *

 _Wait a minute, how come we saw the knights so clearly, if I didn't notice them until later? Isn't this my memory?_

 _ **KR: I may sometimes add in things to fill in the blanks in your memory...like my future knights...look how cute they are. Idiots but cute...**_

 _Then how can I trust you to not add things just to serve your purpose...?_

 _ **KR: I can only add things that already exist in your subconscious.**_

 _Hmm...sounds fishy..._

 _ **KR: You will get something fishy later.**_

 _What...?_

 _ **KR: You will see.**_

 _Oh, no...not!_

 ** _KR: Yes..._**

* * *

"Why, I nearly died...?" Ben pouted over the injustice of even being punished for nearly dying.  
Luke just frowned at him, like it was perfectly justified to punish him despite that. "That doesn't excuse your behaviour in any way."

* * *

 _Prick._

 _ **KR: That's an understatement!**_

 _True..._

* * *

Ben sees that he can't defeat his uncle's logic even though it doesn't make any sense. "Can I join their lightsaber training...after detention, I mean? Please..." He pointed out the window where the little knights were dueling each other in the distance and terrorising the other students who were trying to flee from them.  
Luke shook his head. "No, you are getting an early bedtime because you stayed up so late and were naughty. Just focus on your essay." He pointed at the open notebook in Ben's hands.

"I can never do anything fun...but at least I have my Darth Vader Rey..." Ben drew another picture of little Rey, this time with the ancient red saber from the wall, while he hummed the imperial march happily.

* * *

 _ **KR: My favourite song!**_

 _Of course it is..._

* * *

"Don't sing that song!" shouted his uncle hysterically as if he expected stormtroopers to start marching in.

"Why?" asked Ben innocently.

"You know full well why! And what do you mean by Darth Vader? Why are you calling her...that? Did you hit your head after the accident? Did you swallow some detergent? Is it messing with your brain?" Luke put his hand on Ben's forehand. "You are too warm. Maybe I should get the med kit...and poison control..." His uncle bit his lower lip and opened up a cupboard to get the medical bag.

* * *

 _ **KR: Vader is not poison!**_

 _Why didn't uncle check on me the moment he rescued me from drowning? Such a bad guardian..._

 _ **KR: Maybe he wanted you to die...**_

 _What?_

 _ **KR: Just saying...I want him to die...**_

 _That doesn't equivalent each other...does it...?_

 _ **KR: Of course it does!**_

* * *

His uncle picked up a thermometer from the bag and went over to Ben, who kept fawning over Rey. "It just her darkside name, I can also call her Darth...Rey Vader. There is great darkness, but also there is so much light in her..."

Ben was cut off, as Luke stuck the thermometer into the mouth of his lovesick and obsessed nephew to shut him up. "Keep your mouth closed while I take your temperature...or I will take out the rectal one."

Ben shut up instantly and waited patiently until his uncle could take out the thermometer.

Luke frowned as he read of it. "You are too cold...that can't be right. Oh, I forgot you swallowed some cold water before hand...maybe I should get the rectal one after all." He dove into the bag again.

"Please don't..." pleaded Ben.

Luke rummaged through the bag. "I don't have anything better than this and...come to think of it, why don't I? I need to put it on the list. A better thermometer...or a med droid, but those are so expensive." He sighed.

"You also need a bed." pointed Ben out, as he squirmed on the hard sofa, which his uncle slept on during the nights.

"The school comes first," said Luke without looking up from the bag.

"It must wreck havoc on your back..." said Ben who rubbed his back, which was getting sore from sitting on the sofa.

"It does, but it's a good training in endurance. Here drink this." His uncle picked up a glass vial and handed it over to Ben.

"What's that?" Ben inspected the blue vial in his hand.

"Medicine."

Ben glared at him. "I know that. What for?"

"It will clear...if there is any...poison out of your system. You can't drink anything else for a minute after taking it." Luke took out a milk bottle from a mini fridge under his desk and put it on top of it, as well as taking out glasses from a cupboard close by.

"Rey's not a poison," said Ben dangerously, like he wanted to throw the vial in Luke's face for even suggesting that.

"I didn't say she was...take the medicine, now." Luke pointed at the vial with his stern expression, "or else."

Ben obliged and made a face over the nasty taste.

"You have to wait to drink something else." Luke smiled smugly as he poured a milk into a glass and drank it himself.

"You did this on purpose." Ben threw the vial, but Luke saw his intention and caught it with the force before it shattered on the floor.

His uncle put the vial safely away on his desk. "I warned you. You really should take a nap, to get your fever down..."

"I'm not taking a nap and going to bed early," snapped Ben at him, but the sour taste in his mouth had only made his bad mood even worse.

"You are right, that's a bit too much...your bedtime is now. Go get ready for bed," said his uncle in the "I'm adult, you are the child" voice and "thus you must do everything I say."

"What about the essay?" asked Ben, who rarely listened to that "I'm the adult, you are the child" voice, unless his mother used it.

"It can wait," said Luke firmly and he took the notebook away from him with force and put it on the desk.

"I want to finish it." Ben made the notebook float back to him with the force, as he opened it up again to start work, without having gotten a permission to continue.

Luke huffed. "Fine, I will give you an hour...not more. And if it's not done by then, it's better to leave it for tomorrow," said his uncle sternly, even though Ben could hardly hear him as he was back in his Rey-world.

"I can feel her...sense her...even though it's just fiction...but still real...very real..." muttered Ben like he was chanting a love spell, as he kept drawing pictures of Rey.

"So now she is fiction...?" Luke smirked at his own joke, but Ben, who did not find it funny in the least, looked up at him with his most fearsome expression.

"NO! She's hundred percent real!" he thundered and the whole room started to tremble from his anger. The book shelves staggered and were close to falling down, the desk looked to be about to break under it's own weight and even the floor got cracked.

His uncle looked at the tremors a little fearfully, but managed to beat the fright down and gave Ben's his fiercest scowl as he declared. "I will call your mother."

Ben stopped shaking the place at once. He looked anxiously at the damage he had caused with his outburst and gulped. "Sorry...please don't tell her about this..." Ben looked down shamefully and bit his lip.

"I won't, but you have to control your temper. You have to face it that Rey's not real, you are making her up as we speak..."

Ben looked up at that and was about to release his powers again, despite his uncle's earlier threat and so Luke back-pedalled and did quick some damage control.

"But, do what you want...it's your essay, your story...except follow the rules I told you...and please don't call her Vader...not even as a darkside name. That's too scary...and your mom wouldn't like it...or your father..." reminded Luke him.

"I'm doing the kriff I want! I'm stuck here because of you, so for now on she will be called Darth Vader Rey. It's my story. I already drew her with the Vader helmet...look how cute she is..." Ben turned the book over to show him the drawing in question.

* * *

 _ **KR: She's cute.**_

 _She not cute!_

 _ **KR: You don't think she is cute...?**_

 _Of course she cute, but not with that helmet!_

 _ **KR: Why not...?**_

 _Okay fine, she's always cute...but I prefer her losing the helmet..._

 _ **KR: No taste...the helmet fits her perfectly!**_

 _Does not!_

 _ **KR: DOES TOO!**_

* * *

Luke gasped in outrage when he saw his work, despite how beautiful it was. "Ben! This is not optional. No Vader. I'm warning you..." He looked down into the medical bag, like he was looking for a even nastier medicine than before to cure him of his Darth Vader Rey obsession.

"Try to stop me. I already wrote it down...see...Darth Vader Rey." Ben tapped on each names under the drawing, like that would make it the truth.

"Ben, don't you want to get rid of the medicine taste and the soap taste from your...bath...you can do that now," said Luke conversationally as he picked up a bottle with golden liquid in it.

Ben shook his head. "No, the soap comes from Rey."

"Huh?" His uncle stared stunned at him, like he was having a conversation with the melted Darth Vader helmet.

"I saw her down there...in the washbasin and tried to reach her...so it's the taste of her." Ben smiled dreamily.

* * *

 _ **KR: I doubt she even knows what soap is...dirty scavenger...desert rat...**_

 _Hey! Don't call ther that! I thought you liked Vader._

 _ **KR: I love Vader! But, if she is Vader then she is...only a part of him...and the poor thing is probably trapped inside of her. Like I'm trapped inside of you. So technically she is not him...**_

 _Oh...that's a relief...still weird...trapped inside me...?_

 _ **KR: She is mostly stupid Anakin.**_

 _WHAT! I will pretend I did not ever hear that...besides that doesn't make an inkling of sense..._

 _ **KR: What I mean is...what if she is reincarnated Anakin?**_

 _That would be so weird! I would be wanting to screw...erm marry my grandpa!_

 _ **KR:...**_

 _No!_

 _ **KR: Just messing with ya...come on even I'm not that...strange...wait, I'm not strange...you are!**_

 _But, that's not her fault! I mean the soap thing, I don't really believe this Vader...or grandfather Anakin thing. That's just you confusing me...and making me sick!_

 _ **KR: Is it...?**_

 _Shut up. Don't you dare tarnish my pure and perfect Rey._

 _ **KR: Pure...and perfect...she beat you over the head! And she bit you! And slapped you upside the head!**_

 _I deserved it._

 _ **KR:. True, I have wanted to beat you, bite and slap...for the longest of time...**_

 _Same here...but Rey has a bit of a wild side...nothing wrong with that. We will work with that and I will teach her how to use soap...I can wash her and we can bathe together..._

 _ **KR: I thought you were a virgin.**_

 _I do have my fantasies!_

 _ **KR: Nice.**_

 _Besides it's only bath._

 _ **KR: Only...? Oh, you are so so innocent...aren't you both..naked...?**_

 _No, we will wear swimsuits._

 _ **KR: Swim...are you...kidding me...?**_

 _Shut up, don't ruin my pure fantasy with her...we could bathe and swim in the Lake country or on Chandrila...yeah, I should take her there for our honeymoon...wait, does she know how to swim...? I mean, she lived on a desert planet her whole life. Does she need a teacher...? I can teach her..._

 _ **KR: DUDE! Date her first! Don't think about future kid names and a wedding! Or swimming lessons!**_

 _What wrong with dreaming about the future...? Or giving swimming lessons...?_

 _ **KR: Stay in the present...take one step at a time and see what happens.**_

 _That's kind of a good advice..coming from you...who likes to stay in...the past..._

 _ **KR: Hrmph...someone has to keep a cool head around here...Rey-aholic.**_

 _Vader aholic..._

 _ **KR: Nothing to deny there.**_

 _Same here!_

* * *

"Taste? You want to eat her?" His uncle opened the bottle and the ghastly smell that emitted from it, made Ben so nauseated, that he had to cover his face to protect it from the chemical attack.

"What, no! Dad said something similar to mom...or was it something about her smell...? Eat her out...or up. Both, I think. Uncle Lando said something like that too...to another woman I mean...or was it a droid?" mumbled Ben through his hands and he tried to breathe in the fumes from the open bottle.

Luke, who for some reason wasn't affected by the smell in the slightest, probably a Jedi thing or he had stuffed nose, poured the golden liquid into a spoon. "Droid? I doubt that. Thankfully you have no idea why they used that expression. You will know when you are older. Here take this, to get rid of the medicine taste." He pointed the spoon at him. "Say ah."

"I'm not a baby, but I do know how babies are made," said Ben through clenched teeth, as he didn't trust anything his uncle pointed at him, plus the smell alone was worse than inside of a dead bantha, or he was sure of that. It had to be.

"What, how do you know that? Open up, Ben." Luke jammed the spoon at him.

"Mom taught me." mumbled Ben without opening his mouth and nearly gagged at the smell from the medicine, so close to his nose, but still managed to keep his lips sealed.

* * *

 _ **KR: And we might have done it in past life.**_

 _Huh?_

 _ **KR: Just saying.**_

 _Shut up and please don't say anything more, big you...and mini me..._

* * *

"I bet she only taught you about the birds and the bees. So innocent." Luke shook his head with a smile and offered him the spoon again, like it did not contain anything nasty.

"No, mom told me when a man loves a woman, he lies on top of her and..." mumbled Ben through his teeth.

His uncle nearly dropped the spoon in shock.

* * *

 _AAAAA!_

 _ **KR: Wow, your kid-self is not as innocent as you. What happened...?**_

 _Jedi academy._

 _ **KR: Oh. Right...stupid academy...**_

* * *

"But it can also be the other way around...and it doesn't even have to be man and woman...it can be a droid...but you can't make babies with a droid...I think...so it's only for pleasure..."

His uncle stopped Ben's sex education lecture by pinching his lips together. "I know, I know! Again with the droid...? Who taught you that...no I don't want to know. Okay, let's change the subject like yesterday." He let go of Ben and put the spoon away on his desk. "So you fell in...because of your...dream girl. That's really troubling, plus you want to call her Vader. I don't like this at all..."

Ben breathed out a sigh of relief when his uncle put the horrible spoon away. "Relax. That's just her darkside name. She is the sweetest being in existence." He hugged the book, kissed it and hugged it again.

"Then why are you calling her...Vader...? And drawing her like that?"

"There is something Vader about her...I can't put my finger on it." Ben put his finger on of the Rey drawings, which made it look like they were holding hands. He smiled.

"You never knew Vader..." Luke got a dark look in his eyes.

"But, I can still feel some connection...like we knew each other in past life or something...weird huh...?" said Ben and his uncle looked taken aback by his confession.

"Very...and I don't want you to have any connection to Vader. It's forbidden."

"But...Rey is somehow connected to him...though I don't understand how...and I want her...ah, what a dilemma...forbidden love...how romantic..." Ben leaned on the picture with sigh.

* * *

 _ **KR: I know all about forbidden loves...they can end tragically...**_

 _What do you know...?_

 _ **KR: Trust me...I know...but I don't know, how I know...**_

 _That's helpful..._

* * *

"Stop romanticising Vader. I really think you should take this cold medicine. It will help you clear your head." His uncle looked at the disregarded spoon on his desk.

"Cold medicine...?" Ben looked up apprehensively, as Luke picked up the smelly spoon and made it fly towards his mouth.

"Yes. It will also ward it off."

"Okay..." Ben opened up his mouth and closed his eyes like it would make the smell go away.

* * *

 _ **KR: Don't, it's a trap!**_

 _A trap...? Oh yeah! Kriff! KRIFF!_

 _ **KR: Fishy!**_

* * *

Ben coughed and coughed. His eyes were watery. Never in his short life, had he tasted anything so vile. It's taste was way worse than the smell.

"The kriff is this! It's way worse than what you gave me earlier!" He stared hatefully at his uncle. He had a trouble deciding which hated it more, his uncle or that medicine. Or both. Most likely both.

"This is Stink fish oil. Each time you mention, write, draw or even think about Vader...in any manner, you will take this." Luke grabbed the bottle in firm grip and showed it inches away from his face.

* * *

 _ **KR: That's censorship! And brainwashing!**_

 _I don't want to call her Vader, either...well at least today, not sure what mini me was thinking!_

 _ **KR: Well, your taste today sucks! But, I want to be called Vader!**_

 _Of course you do...but Luke really is prick for having done this to us!_

 ** _KR: Of course he is!_**

* * *

"Ugh, no! Please. You can't do this!" Ben's eyes looked desperately at the ancient saber that hung on the wall behind his uncle's desk. He wanted nothing more than to cut down the bottle and his uncle in process and flee far away from there. Preferably hide on some island forever where there were no fish oils or stupid uncles to torment him. He just had to find Rey and then it would a paradise.

"Your mom told me to do this if your Vader obsession ever got out of hand."

"Mom...?" asked Ben in a doomed voice and forgot all about cutting down his uncle, as there would no place safe in the whole galaxy from her wrath if he did that. Especially not for something she had authorised, even though it was borderline torture...according to him.

"Yes and for having your dream girl named after him and be connected to him in any way, is a step too far. You know your mom would be most displeased to hear that..." said Luke and watched how the full meaning of it sank into Ben, who lost all colour in his face and got even sicker then when he tasted the fish oil.

* * *

 _ **KR: Heh, if she ever found out that you spoke to his cool helmet...**_

 _I really, really hope she will never ever find out about that..._

 _ **KR: And dresses..similar to him...**_

 _Kriff, she knows all about that! I'm doomed!_

 _ **KR: So...**_

 _I'm still going back._

 _ **KR: You are braver than I thought...**_

 _Mostly because of Rey though..._

 _ **KR: Of course because of her...and Vader...**_

 _Not Vader._

* * *

"What about dad though...?" asked Ben who hoped for some lifeline to get out of this torture, since he couldn't count on his mom to save him.

"If you think your father will protect you from this, you have another thing coming," replied his uncle darkly.

"Kriff..." muttered Ben, who knew his uncle was right. His father hated Vader with passion and most likely would agree with this rehab.

"No swearing. So do we have a deal?"

"But Kylo Ren is the one who has the Vader obsession, not me," argued Ben.

"Then you will both take this," said Luke merciless. "Meaning two spoons."

Ben paled in horror.

* * *

 _ **KR: Hey! You will never take Vader from me! Stupid Luke! I thought I couldn't possibly hate you more! What do you think you are?!**_

 _Erm...Vader-hater...?_

 _ **KR: How dare he? Vader saved his kriffing life!**_

 _True..._

 _ **KR: Stupid anti-Vader! If any one should be angry at Vader, it should be me!**_

 _You? I thought you loved him..._

 _ **KR: Yeah...but he kind of killed me...and died from me...**_

 _What...that makes no sense! If you were dead how could he have died from you...? And what do you mean killed you...? What the kriff?!_

 _ **KR: You are right...it doesn't! What's wrong with me...thinking ill of grandfather!**_

 _That wasn't the part I was worried about..._

* * *

"Okay, okay. I solemnly swear...and promise no more Vader...ever..." pleaded Ben.

"Good." Luke put away the bottle into the medical bag.

* * *

 _ **KR: Liar.**_

 _Yebb._

 _ **KR: Plus there is no way, we can stop think about Vader...**_

 _We...?_

 _ **KR: Umh, Rey is Vader...you, know the girl you think endlessly about...**_

 _I know who she is...and she is not Vader._

 _ **KR: Was...then...and if not, then who is she...?**_

 _Rey._

 _ **KR: What a dull answer...**_

 _The best answer there is!_

* * *

"But...I will still think about Rey..." mumbled Ben under his breath and froze when his uncle poured a blue liquid into a glass from the bottle on his desk.

"No! No more...and you can't make me stop thinking about Rey! NEVER!" Ben waved his hands in desperation, when his uncle handed the glass over to him.

"Calm down. I'm not trying to. She's part of your essay, just not as Vader. Don't worry, it just blue milk. See." Luke first drank a glass to show it was alright and then he poured another for Ben, who chugged it down like a thirsty man in the Jakku desert.

"Better?"

Ben nodded and pushed the glass over to him."Please, can I have some more?"

His uncle got another bottle and poured more for him and Ben gulped it down in one sip and pushed the glass toward him again.

"More. MORE!" He kept asking for more and had at least drunken ten glasses of it, when Luke pulled the empty bottle away and got another one from the mini fridge under the desk.

"Do you think you got it...?" Luke smirked. "I mean the taste away."

Ben gave him an evil eye and didn't answer him and just ripped the new bottle from him, opened it and drank from that.

"Have you come up with another darkside name...?" asked Luke to test him and see if Ben had learned anything from this, when he had finished the bottle.

"Yeah...what about Kylo Rey?" replied Ben who wiped his lips of the milk. He knew better then to object to the name changing, despite how much he wanted to keep it that way.

* * *

 _ **KR: If Rey is getting half my name, I want to be Vader 2.**_

 _Vader 2?_

 _ **KR: Yes, there is a Vader, the original one and Vader one...that's the Vader part of Rey...so could I be Vader two...?**_

 _I'm not calling you Vader two...and Rey does not have a single midichlorian of her that is Vader...or Anakin for that matter!_

 _ **KR: Lame...you are still scared of that fish oil therapy...**_

 _Am not! Though when I meet mom again, she might make me drink the whole bottle for everything Vader related I did...two even...brr..._

 _ **KR: That's your problem. What about Kylo Vader?**_

 _Absolutely not._

 _ **KR: You suck...Ben colo!**_

 _Is that the best you could come up with?_

 _ **KR: Ben holo? Ben swolo!**_

 _That doesn't sound so bad...Kyle Ron..._

 _ **KR: Don't you dare!**_

 _What so bad about that?_

 _ **KR: Kyle is a girl's name!**_

 _And...?_

 _ **KR: I don't know...**_

 _I think it's a unisex name._

 _ **KR: Oh...**_

 _I think it means handsome...and hardworking..._

 _ **KR: Oh...that's not bad at all...**_

 _So you want to change your name?_

 _ **KR: No, I like it just the way it is...but it certainly has given me something to think about...**_

 _Glad we got that one straightened out..._

 _ **KR: What does my name stand for?**_

 _What, how should I know...Snoke gave it to you...us...or the Knights of Ren did...?_

 _ **KR: Are you sure about that? Remember you used that name when your father came to pick you up...**_

 _I thought that was just a dream?_

 _ **KR: Oh..right...so confusing! What is real...?**_

 _To be fair, I'm not sure about anything now!_

* * *

"Erm...sure...you can call her that. Everything but Vader and that name is kind of cute. You are sharing your dark side name with her...like you are married..." said his uncle and smiled, like he kind of liked that idea.

"Married...?" A smile grew over Ben's face, but Luke corrected himself quickly, when he realised what he had said.

"Erm I mean family. Do you remember the rules I told you...?"

Ben face fell. "Yeah, fighting in a safe place and not to the death. We are family...who are helping each other...get back to the light."

"Good boy. You do listen sometimes...oh...no..." Luke looked out the window when he heard shouting and crying outside.

"I told you the knights were evil," said Ben, as his uncle threw on a outdoor robe and strode over to the door with the medical bag in hand.

"No, no just a tiny bit misguided like you. Stay right here. Work on your essay. I will be right back." His uncle closed the door behind him.

* * *

"How did it go?" asked Ben when his uncle finally returned after what looked like a little fight. He looked exhausted and dirty, like he had climbed from under a collapsed hut.

"I put them in detention...in another room," said Luke grimly and hung up his outdoor robe in a closet. "And I gave them fish oil."

Ben smiled widely when he heard that and pictured their anguished faces.

"Wouldn't it have been easier to watch them if you put them here? Not that I want them here..." Ben tried to put on his most innocent look, when he wanted nothing more than to see them get into trouble and be punished that way.

"No, they will not come near you. They are bad news, stay away from them," lectured his uncle.

"Okay..." Ben huffed and tried to hide his disappointment as he went back to his essay.

* * *

 _That went well..._

 _ **KR: It sure did! It was so much fun destroying the academy together! Maybe we can check that memory later...**_

 _NO!_

 _ **KR: I can never do anything fun...everything is ruined for me...no Vader...**_

 _No Rey..._

* * *

"How is the essay coming along...? Let me see?" His uncle asked for the book with hand, but Ben held the book to his chest, as he didn't want to let go of Rey.

"Ben, I need to see...do you need more fish oil?"

His uncle had barely finished his sentence when Ben handed the book over to him.

Luke's eyes widened when he saw the content and he turned to his nephew with a scowl. "Have you been drawing this whole time?! And are all these pictures of...Rey? As...darkside...?" He flipped furiously through the pages and back at his naughty nephew, who didn't look remorseful at all, in fact he looked happy with his work.

"I really like the scavenger girl...the chosen one, the one who has the name Rey...what if I want to marry her after she turns me...or if I turn her back...? I really feel like I know her. Does she really have to be family...?"

"Your choice," said Luke absentmindedly as he shook his head as he scanned over the countless drawings.

* * *

 _Thank you Luke!_

 _ **KR: Shut up Luke! Don't give him hope! What about the Jedi code!**_

 _But, I thought you wanted to marry...the Vader part in Rey...not that there is any..._

 _ **KR: Marry...? I never said that!**_

 _At least you two need a room together...you and Vader I mean, not Rey. She is mine._

 _ **KR: We had a room with helmet!**_

 _And you don't see anything wrong with that...?_

 _ **KR: I want to rule with him! Not...sleep with him...though I did sleep in the same room as the helmet...**_

 _Stop talking! The images are making me sick!_

 _ **KR: You put them there! You idiot!**_

* * *

"Then she isn't," said Ben firmly.

"But I thought you didn't like the idea of love...oh wait a minute...the code...not this again..." Luke stopped short and ripped a page out.

"Hey!" Ben reached out for it, but Luke kept it away from him.

"What the...?" Luke stared between him and the page he held aloft which contained the family tree. "Is this...? You have even made up children...? Kylo...Padmé...? Your grandmother's name, that's sweet...but why Kylo? Your darkside name...?"

"Skywalker plus Solo. I just took Ky and Lo from my surnames," said Ben as if that was self explanatory.

"Oh...that's cool I guess." Luke peered closely at the drawing of the family tree as if was trying to find some secret hidden inside of it.

* * *

 _ **KR: Please don't tell me that is the reason for my cool name...**_

 _This...I didn't name you...Snoke did...or the knights..._

 _ **KR: Still in great denial...you have said Kylo several times in your memories...**_

 _You just inserted yourself into my memories to confuse me._

 _ **KR: I would never go that far...**_

 _Or I named him after a different Kylo entirely._

 _ **KR: Hey! I'm the only Kylo, there are multiple Rens but I'm the one and only...and mighty Kylo Ren!**_

 _Yeah...yeah..._

* * *

"But isn't Kylo your darkside name? The one you blame for everything you naughty you do?" pointed Luke out.

* * *

 _ **KR: Hah! Told you it was me! And you do always blame me!**_

 _Somehow I feel like those are just false editing on your part. Fake news._

 _ **KR: Is not! It's the truth...like everything I tell you...**_

 _Yeah right._

* * *

"I told you what Kylo stands for, besides my son's full name will be Kylo Han Solo, not Kylo Ren," said Ben proudly.

* * *

 _Well, that was unexpected!_

 _ **KR: You...ruined my name...I'm not some stupid scoundrel!**_

 _It's my cute future son, not you!_

 _ **KR: Cute...?**_

 _Of course he will be cute, both of my children._

 _ **KR: That's all you think about...? But, I thought you were mad that your father never came to bring you home. That it was all just a dream...and you want to name your future kid after him? What the...**_

 _I don't look that mad at him in this memory. I'm just happy doodling my future family with Rey...I'm not sure if I would name my kid after him today though...or you for that matter..._

 _ **KR: Then why are you so angry with him?**_

 _I...don't know...I don't remember..._

 _ **KR: And that's why we are here...or well partly...**_

 _It is? I have really bad feeling about this..._

* * *

"And my daughter's full name would be Rey Padmé Solo or Padmé Rey Solo..." added Ben with full conviction.

His uncle looked disappointed. "Oh, why your grandmother's name for your daughter...it's really pretty, but why not..."

Ben's eyes suddenly glazed over. "Luke...Leia..."

* * *

 _I would never name my kid after Luke!_

 _ **KR: You named your kid Luke.**_

 _Huh?_

 _ **KR: I said nothing...**_

 _Stop confusing me or I will start to call you...the Last Jedi._

 _ **KR: You will do no such thing!**_

 _That would mean you would have to destroy yourself!_

 _ **KR: You and me are the same...you would have to kill yourself!**_

 _Last Jedi..._

 _ **KR: ARG! DON'T!**_

* * *

Luke nodded. "Yeah, why don't you name your twins that...though your poor father would probably feel slighted..." His uncle cleared his throat. "Erm...you are not having any babies...Jedi code..." He handed him back the page with the family tree.

"Ani Kylo and Padmé Rey...or Padmé Kylo and Ani Rey...?" asked Ben, who was still only thinking of baby names and didn't care about the Jedi code in the least. He wrote those suggestions down on the page.

Luke furrowed his brows. "Why would you mix up the genders? Oh...wait is Kylo even a guy's name...? Maybe it works for both...? Why not just Ben Kylo? Or Kylo Ben? Or just Ani Ben? Padmé Ben...? No...that definitely doesn't work...err, forget it, you are not supposed to have any children anyway..." He shook his head over having been dragged along like that, while Ben kept furiously scribbling away.

* * *

 _ **KR: Why not just Vader Kylo?!**_

 _You know why...but I really should consult Rey about the names...if we have children...erm...if she wants me!_

 _ **KR: Oh, she wants you...**_

 _She does?!_

 _ **KR: As a..brother...**_

 _NOOO!_

 _ **KR: Or as her kid...make your choice...or maybe as a cousin...or well technically you could be her grandchild...**_

 _LAST JEDI! LAST JEDI!_

 _ **KR: Revenge of the Sith, Revenge of the Sith.**_

 _What the...?_

 _ **KR: That's my new nickname name from now on...or maybe rise of the Sith...the Phantom Menace...or the coolest Phantom Menace...the coolest revenge of the Sith Phantom Menace...**_

 _Erg...I give up..._

 _ **KR: At last! Now...**_

 _Kyle...that will be my daughter's name...or my son's..._

 _ **KR: Ugh...that...do what you want, I don't care about some children, you will never even have!**_

 _You don't know that!_

 _ **KR: How are you going to have children if you will never get out of here?**_

 _I'm getting out of here, one way another! There must be an exit here somewhere..._

 _ **KR: So stupid...**_

* * *

"Ben...? Anybody home? Did you hear a word I just said?" said his uncle when there was no answer from Ben, who kept writing away.

"At least I will use the name Rey for my dream girl, I really like the name Rey, it makes me feel so warm inside...like an old...boyfriend...Ani..." said Ben without looking up from his writing.

"Boyfriend...? Ani...?" His uncle gaped at him.

* * *

 _What in the...? NOOOO!_

 _ **KR: That's some very weird...**_

 _I was just too tired...I hope! Or I got drunk by a blue milk!_

 _ **KR: You can do that...? I mean...that's what you think...**_

 _Huh...?_

 _ **KR: Nothing...**_

 _Who is Ani...? Please not...?_

 _ **KR: Anakin?**_

 _Why...granddad? Why?! You are the one who is obsessed with him. Not me!_

 _ **KR: I'm obsessed with Vader! Not stupid Anakin. I told you that!**_

 _It's the same guy._

 _ **KR: IS NOT! Just like how we are not the same guy.**_

 _We are the same guy...you even said so before..._

 _ **KR:...there is no talking to you...**_

 _I don't want to talk to you! I want out of here! This is getting worse with the minute. I'm thinking my beautiful Rey is a boy! My grandfather?! What the kriff is wrong with me?! And you even called her Vader! But, I thought that was just a bad joke!_

 _ **KR: Interesting...**_

 _NO!_

* * *

"Wha...no I mean girlfriend...Rey was my husband...I mean is my future wife. Padmé...?" Ben grabbed his head in agony.

* * *

 _What now...Padmé...? What's going on here!? Husband...?_

 _ **KR: So either you have a thing for your grandad...or grandmother...?**_

 _SHUT UP! Rey is just Rey!_

 _ **KR: Just a nobody then...?**_ _  
_

 _SHUT UP!_

* * *

"Are you okay...?" Luke put a hand on his shoulder with a worried look in his eyes.

"I don't know..." replied Ben and looked scared. "Please help me."

His uncle poured him another glass. "Have some more milk." And as Ben drunk it, he lectured him:"You are barely eleven, so there is no way you had an old girl...or boyfriend and not to mention...husband...wife. How many times do I have to remind you of the Jedi code..."

"I know all about the stupid, stupid code...but...see I drew the best picture of her." Ben showed him a blank page.

"I see nothing."

"No, she's not nothing! She is everything to me! Oh, sorry I haven't drawn her yet on this page..." Ben gave him a nervous smile. "She still just in my heart...but it won't take a sec." He fetched his calligraphy set from his bag at the foot of the sofa.

"Ben, really, you are supposed to work on your important essay."

"Rey is the most important!" shouted Ben at him as dipped his pencils into a ink and onto the paper at the speed of light.

"You should only use the set for writing letters, not drawing! It will ruin your pencils. What did I tell you about mindfulness?" rebuked his uncle him.

"Shut up you are ruining my focus!"

Luke sighed in defeat. "Fine, fine. You will get one...minute..."

"Done." said Ben with a pride. He blew on the ink picture to make it dry faster and very carefully ripped it out of the book and handed it to his uncle, who blinked in surprise as he accepted it.

"That was...fast...maybe you could do that for a living. Be a sketch artist." remarked Luke half jokingly without looking at the picture.

"So I can leave to pursue that dream? I don't have to be a Jedi?"

"Let's take a look at the picture first."

* * *

 _Holy Sith, that look exactly like Rey when she was a child! Like how she was in her memory when she screamed after the shuttle! In fact she is holding someone's hand and looks to be in great distress! What the...!_

 _ **KR: Coincidence...I think not...**_

 _I must have dreamt this about her...there is no other way! No other way! She wasn't even born yet! Wait...could it be that her destiny..really...is my fault...?! Since I drew this...? Made this up...? And even gave her...her name...?_

 _ **KR: Of course it is...**_

 _I heard someone gasp! It must be her! I knew it, she's in here!_

 _ **KR: Nope, just your imagination...like she is...nothing...**_

 _She's not nothing and she is not my imagination!_

* * *

Luke's blue eyes widened as he took in the very detailed picture. "Wow, very...cute picture of her...extremely detailed considering the time limit you were given...well done, but it's also very sad...will this sad scene be in your essay? Poor thing..." His uncle shook his head with a sad expression as he handed the page back over to Ben.

"So can I leave to become an artist...?" said Ben as he put the picture safely away on the sofa.

Luke shook his head. "Not yet. In fact you should spend your free time sketching instead of troublemaking...but not use those pencils...I will get you some new ones just for painting."

"Thanks...here is picture of her when she's older...like I imagine her when we would be...forced to fight..." Ben ripped out another page and handed to his uncle.

* * *

 _Holy! That is Rey like she looks like today! To the smallest detail! She even has her quarterstaff! No wonder she looked so familiar to me! I had drawn her, years ago!_

 _ **KR: That can't be coincidence.**_

 _Did I really...make her up...? How...? And why do I call her...Vader...? Ani...Padmé...?_

 _ **KR: Look, she has some kind of mask under her arm. We never saw her with that.**_

 _You are right...that's something new..._

 _ **KR: That mask...is very similar to the Vader one...or well the goggles...**_

 _What how? Nah, all scavenger masks look the same...I think...I hope! Now you are just reaching!_

 _ **KR: Am I...?**_

 _YES!_

* * *

"Another great picture." complimented his uncle him. " Very formidable. She looks like a girl."

"Well, yeah..." said Ben surprised by that remark.

"Why did you think she was boy?" His uncle looked curiously at him over the drawing.

"I didn't think that," said Ben confused.

"Of course, she could be a boy who looks like a girl..." started Luke, but Ben cut him off.

"Rey is a boy! I mean a girl! A boy...girl?" He stared in daze ahead.

"Are you sure you are okay?" asked his uncle worried.

Ben didn't answer. He started to breathe heavily and stared at his hands like they were not his own.

"She looks kind of like your grandmother." commented his uncle, which managed to snap Ben out of his trance-like state.

"What, no she is...well at least now...Rey." Ben looked unsure.

* * *

 _ **KR: Told ya, you had a thing for your grandmother...**_

 _Do not!_

 _ **KR: Either it is your grandad or grandma. But that's just because you missed them so much since you never got to know them, that you projected them on her...and your future children...**_

 _The kriff?! How can I miss someone I never knew...?_

 _ **KR: You miss Rey there...and you don't seem to know her...**_

 _And you miss Vader._

 _ **KR: I know him!**_

 _And I know Rey!_

 _ **KR: You do not know her! What is her favourite food?**_

 _Erm..._

 _ **KR: Favourite color...?**_

 _Well...sand coloured...?_

 _ **KR: Sand?! Are you kriffing kidding me, she lives in a kriffing desert! I'm pretty sure she hates sand...with passion...**_

 _Well, then I will just find out those things...by asking her..._

 _ **KR: That works too...**_

* * *

Luke, who had no idea his little nephew was having serious identity crisis, picked up the book and flipped through it once more. "Please tell me you have done more than just doodled a family three and drawing your dream girl this entire time...I told you have only one hour and then it's bedtime..." He stopped at page. "Oh, great here is something more. A text instead of a drawing...wait, is that...a love poem...?"

"Erm..." Ben looked away and blushed.

His uncle read the poem out loud.

"Ani...Rey...Padmé...

you are my golden ray of sunshine

who shines through the darkest darkness in my pitch black soul

with colorful rainbows.

I will safe you, my dearest hot and adorable love in the whole galaxy

on the brightest white fathier

riding through sunset with you by my side on my side

while wearing one of my grandmother's gown.

She was queen you know.

Oh my Rey of light...my king and queen of my darkness.

I love you...most ardently.

Let's rule the...galaxy together...Vader."

BS.11

* * *

 _ **KR: Well that poem sucks...except the last part...and what's up with that signature?!**_

 _Hey! I was a kid! It stands for Ben Solo, age eleven. The kriff why do I call her Ani...Padmé...or worse Vader?! Or this is part of my strange signature...? So confusing...but maybe this is some kind of a code..._

 _ **KR: Code? You think you were that deep...was a child...?**_

 _You are right, note to myself, never write love poems after taking a dive and swallow soap water or drinking tons of blue milk...it messes with your brain..._

 _ **KR: Indeed it does. If Rey could see this...she would die laughing...**_

 _I don't want her to die!_

 _ **KR: It's only figure of speech...sheesh...overprotective much...? I was wondering, do you mean that Rey or you would wear your grandmother's gowns?**_

 _Rey of course, stupid...if she wants to wear dresses that is..._

 _ **KR: I'm just saying...it could be taking the other way around...even though you also called her Padmé...**_

 _You are the one who is wearing a dress...not me._

 _ **KR: I told you this is not a dress! It's a tunic! And I remember certain someone crossdressing in his grandmother's gowns when he was a small child...**_

 _That...that's just something all little boys go through, pretend play. Mom loved to dress me in girlish clothes...and I found them when searching through mom's closet for something to play with...something new..._

 _ **KR: Your father flipped when he saw you.**_

 _Of course he did...but mom was so happy..._

 _ **KR: Of course she was...she even braided your hair...**_

 _Don't remind me._

 _ **KR: You looked fabulous.**_

 _Shut up._

 _ **KR: I'm always fabulous.**_

 _Of course you are..._

* * *

"It's a work in progress..." said Ben embarrassed, when Luke looked up from the poem.

His uncle snapped the book shut with a grim expression. "How long have you been dreaming about...her?"

"She has a name now, Ani Rey Padmé...I mean Ani Rey...Rey and I had one dream...erm two...maybe three..."said Ben, as he broke under his uncle's intense staring as he kept leaning over him.

Luke rose up again. "Hmm...I guess as long as you keep your little love story purely fictional since it's against the Jedi code, everything is okay."

Ben didn't dare say anything in objection.

* * *

 _Fictional? Hey! Rey exists! She's my life!_

 _ **KR: Are you sure any of this is real...?**_

 _Did I really make her up...? Just because...I never knew grandad...or grandma...? I thought they would be a...better family...be there for me? Or because they were part of my family...but I never knew them...yet I feel like I do...strange...must have dreamt about them...but how are they connected to my Rey...? And why...Vader...?_

 _ **KR: Think about it, have you seen anyone interact with her...beside yourself?**_

 _Yes, I have...many times in fact._

 _ **KR: But, you could be making that up...to make her look more real...**_

 _Rey's not my imagination. You are!_

 _ **KR: Hey! I exist! I had cool wardrobe, ships, a steady and thrilling job and knights! And the coolest grandfather! What does she have? Nothing! Just a nobody!**_

 _Hey, that's not nice to say..._

 _ **KR: I'm only speaking the truth...unless she was Vader...then of course she was the most awesome person in the whole galaxy!**_

 _I'm not playing this game..._

* * *

"And no ruling the galaxy...and what did I tell you about Vader..? Didn't you promise...?" His uncle picked up the hated bottle from the medical bag.

"Erm...sorry...I slipped up..." Ben stiffened when Luke poured the fish oil into a spoon.

"Open up..." He pointed the spoon at him.

Ben shook his head.

"Ben. It's for your own good."

When Ben still didn't open his mouth, he added. "I can call your mother and tell her all about your Vader obsession and the fact you want to rule the galaxy with him."

Ben gulped, but even that didn't make him open his mouth, so his uncle changed his tatic.

"It's also very healthy for you, it will keep your cold at bay. Trust me. I would never harm you...on purpose, " said Luke gently.

* * *

 _ **KR: What a liar...**_

 _Yebb._

* * *

"So this is not a punishment...?" asked Ben.

"It's a punishment with benefits," replied his uncle.

"Huh...?"

"Just take it. Get it over with."

Ben opened his mouth and swallowed the nasty liquid. He made a grab for the blue milk bottle, but his uncle took it away, which made Ben whine in protest.

"Now, stop calling her Vader. It's distasteful like the vile taste of this fish oil you will be forced to drink each time you refer to Vader in any way...shape or form. Do you understand me?" Luke held the delicious milk bottle far away from him and even though Ben could've gotten it with the force, he didn't dare in case his uncle would find something even worse to punish him with.

* * *

 _ **KR: You and Leia are so distasteful! He was your father you ungrateful, disrespectful little...**_

 _I would punish me as well for calling Rey...Vader...or have her punish me..._

 _ **KR: Don't go any far in that thinking...**_

 _But never with fish oil! That's super disgusting!_

* * *

"I will try," said Ben honestly and hoped that would be enough to get a least get a little taste of the blue milk.

"Do or do not, there is no try. Only fish oil," said his uncle sternly, without lowering the bottle in the slightest.

"Okay, okay! I promise!"

Luke smiled and handed him the bottle. "Good boy."

Ben chugged down the bottle to get rid of the aftertaste and gasped in relief, when he got his taste buds again. "But, I want her for...real."

"So this...Rey is your dream girl? Someone you knew from a past life?"

* * *

 _ **KR: I knew grandpa in past life? That's so sweet!**_

 _Who said anything about her being grandpa? Ani...and...erm Vader...could be something else...I mean I also called her Padmé, she can't be three people...I mean two people...right?_

 _ **KR: I wish I could go back in time to meet him...again...**_

 _There really is no talking to you!_

* * *

 _Next up: The dream girl, boy or Vader?_


	30. The dream girl, boy or Vader?

_AN: Woohoo, as promised, I managed to finish this one way more quickly! Thank you all for your support! You guys rock! Hope you are all enjoying the summer! A special shoutout to my friend UnknownSeven7. Your comments always make my day! Thank you from the bottom of my heart! You rule! This one is specially for you! Even though it's a tad bit angsty :S, but it's all build up for major fluff! I promise. ;)_

 _More of little Ben vs Luke...who will win? ;) And Kylo vs Ben..._

* * *

Chapter thirty: The dream girl, boy or Vader...?

"How should I know if I knew him...or her in past life? How is it possible to know such things...?" Ben put the milk bottle back on the desk and jumped back into the sofa to continue working on his Rey essay or rather comic, since he had hardly written a word except for the love poem and the family tree.

"I meant for your essay. Hypothetically. But, don't worry about that now. Let's continue tomorrow." His uncle took everything away, the notebook, the pencil, the ripped out pages and the calligraphy, despite Ben's loud protests, who wanted to draw more Rey, preferably until he met her in real life and could be with her forever.

"Go to your room and straight to sleep. I will keep the notebook here and your set, so you won't be tempted to continue your story...without my guidance." Luke locked the precious items in his desk and pointed at the door.

Ben pouted, but knew better than to risk the fish oil, so he left the uncomfortable sofa and went over to the door. "I...did dream about her. Rey is the real chosen one...the one I told you about."

"Why do you think she is the chosen one?" asked his uncle curiously.

"I saw in a dream, how she was abandoned by her family...on Jakku..."

* * *

 _So I did dream this about her...? I didn't make this up...I really saw her future..._

 _ **KR: I told you, I had heard about her...**_

 _Yes, but not from me!_

 _ **KR: I didn't hear about her from you...technically I wasn't born yet...so to speak...still just a voice...inside your head...giving you great advice! Like now! But you never listen to me!**_

 _You never give great advice...okay maybe sometimes. But, then who told you about her? Snoke?_

 _ **KR: You will see...**_

* * *

Luke's mouth twitched, like he wanted to give her future guardians piece of his mind or chop them down with his green saber. He took a deep breath, since as a Jedi he wasn't allowed to interfere in any way and it was enough for him to deal with his naughty nephew, which constantly was testing his Jedi patience.

"I know, I saw your picture. That's sad to hear...not sure why that qualifies her to be the chosen one though. Your grandfather, Anakin, didn't exactly have a shitty life..." Luke corrected himself as he thought it over. "Or wait, he was a slave...but it wasn't such a bad slave master. He even allowed him to compete in podracing..." He looked deep in thought, as he was probably imagining those fast things with a child behind the wheel. "Which, kind of was too dangerous for a kid, come to think of it. Doesn't matter, we are not talking about that, but your dream girl..." He turned to Ben, with his most serious expression. "You have to be careful of dreams, they can deceive you. They can give you false information and make you do things you wouldn't have done otherwise. Like going after a potential dangerous girl."

"Can I go and pick her up?" Ben smiled hopefully, since he hadn't heard a single word of his uncle's lecture or warning.

* * *

 _ **KR: You are just as obsessed with Rey as a child, as you are as an adult...**_

 _And you Vader...but, then how come...I don't remember any of this...? Is this really the truth?_

 _ **KR: Trust me...it is.**_

 _How could I forget Rey?! My precious Rey...?_

 _ **KR: I'm shocked as well...**_

* * *

His uncle took a deep breath, like he was trying to calm himself down, but it didn't work, since he still ended up shouting at him:"I told you dreams can deceive you, do you never listen to me? And no, we are not leaving...you are not leaving! Stop asking!"

"Can I call dad and have him pick her up?" pestered Ben, as he had only one thing on his mind, or two.

"You are not fooling me, you want to call him to have him pick you up," Luke frowned at him sternly, as he saw right through him.

"Of course, but I also want to go and...personally save that girl...I mean Rey...my Rey." Ben smiled dreamily, as he imagined that rescue happening.

"Is that what you said was only between you and your father...saving this girl...? Rey." asked Luke in disbelief and most likely tried to think about Han's reaction to Ben chasing down some girl across the galaxy, from literally his dreams.

Ben nodded, full of conviction, like he was sure his father would approve of his methods since he was known for doing crazy things for the girls he loved. "Yes...she is the real chosen one...I'm sure of it..."

"We don't even know if this Rey exists...for all we know, this dream could represent yourself," snarked Luke.

"Myself?" Ben went white, like he was about to throw up and despite his obvious discomfort, his uncle didn't seem to notice anything or thought he was just acting, so he carried on lecturing him. "You are such a drama queen, that you probably feels like you are a..little innocent girl, that the family abandoned in a desert, instead of the truth, that they left you to be safe with me in a important training against the darkside, as you are the chosen one! Ben...?" Luke's voice trailed off, as Ben suddenly staggered on his feet and ran towards the fresher in the back.

"Are you okay?" yelled Luke after him and grimaced in pity, as he heard him empty his stomach with loud guttural noise.

* * *

 _I'm allergic to being called the chosen one...or when someone dares to imply that my Rey is not real!_

 _ **KR: I'm allergic to being called a Jedi...**_

 _Who is calling you a Jedi?_

 _ **KR: You called me the Last Jedi!**_

 _Oh, right. Hehehe._

 _ **KR: NOT FUNNY!**_

* * *

"It must've been all the blue milk...and the fish oil and the soap water..." said Ben as he re-emerged and held his stomach in great pain and misery. Luke took him into his arms, lifted him gently up in the sofa and helped him lie down to rest. He wiped the sweat of his brow with a towel and popped a mint into his mouth, to help him get rid of all the bad taste in his mouth.

"My poor child. You might be getting a cold as well after a sleepless night...you really need to get some sleep. Don't worry, you can just fall asleep in here and then I will carry you back to your room." His uncle pulled a blanket over him and tucked him in. "Get some sleep, my child." He kissed his sweaty forehead.

"Want to...stay...no leave...Rey...not leave her...get her..." mumbled Ben like deranged man around the chewed mint.

"Ben, you are not making any sense." Luke pulled a pill bottle from the medical bag. "Take this pill and try to get some sleep." He handed him a pill and a glass of water.

Ben obeyed in a first time ever and he even opened his mouth to show his uncle, he had indeed taken it.

Luke patted his head in approval."Good boy." He pushed him gently down and pulled the blanket around him. "Artoo is in charge of watching the little knights, so I better go and check up on them. He can only zap them for misbehaving..." His mouth drew in a thin line. "I wonder if that classifies as child abuse." He shook his head with a careless smile. "Nah, they can take it. You better be asleep when I return..." Luke said warningly, before he left the office.

* * *

 _ **KR: GO TO SLEEP!**_

 _No._

 _ **KR: Sigh, so difficult...so naughty...**_

 _I'm not naughty! You are!_

 _ **KR: NO YOU ARE! Just look at what you did to the Last Jedi office...**_

 _Me...?_

 _ **KR: Yes, you...**_

 _Oh, o..._

 ** _KR: So naughty..._**

 _Shut up..._

* * *

Luke didn't return until the sun began setting in the sky and his office had gotten darker. Sunlight peered through the skies, which lit the office with small streams of light. A furious scribbling and the humming of the Imperial march, indicated that Ben was still wide awake in spite of his uncle's strict command.

"Ben Skywalker, why are you still up. I told you..." His uncle turned on the lights and stopped in mid-lecture when in full light, he saw exactly what his nephew was doing. "Is that a star map? An really ancient one?" He looked towards his desk drawers, that had obviously been broken into forcefully, as there were splinters strewn on the floor and then back at his naughty nephew. "Did you just break into my desk?! BEEEN!" Luke stormed over to him with his most fearsome expression, like he wanted to chop him down with a lightsaber for being naughty. He rolled up his sleeve and growled at him, showing all his teeth.

"I can't sleep," said Ben, who didn't look guilty in any way or frighten despite his uncle looking like a rampaging wampa who wanted to devour him whole for breaking his stuff.

Instead, Ben focused on drawing multiple lines between planets with a pencil on a big open map, like he was possessed. Once in a while, he erased the lines and drew new ones, as he was trying to draw the perfect roadmap. One of his line drawing, cut right through the paper with the sharp pencil and made a small hole in it. "Oops...sorry..." Ben looked a tiny bit sorry, for ruining the map, but still continued his map making which a bit easier, know that his uncle had turned on the lights.

"Why can't you sleep...? Didn't the sleeping pill work?" Luke, who looked human again even though he was still mad at his antics, stared disapproving at his work or rather destruction and the fact that the Rey notebook, was back at his nephew's side, which he had locked up. It was open up at one of the countless Rey drawings.

"I have to save Rey. My light...and dark." Ben counted the planets between theirs and Jakku. "So far away..." He looked distressed at one of the little Rey drawing in his notebook that smiled so innocently at him and had no idea about all the work he was putting into for her. "Why so far away...?" He threw the pencil away and his uncle caught it as it shot past him, before it landed on the wall behind him.

"Ben, worry about yourself. She isn't real..." Luke confiscated the map. "Stop stealing my things...and breaking my things." He glowered at the drawn lines on the ancient map and the hole the pencil had made.

He rolled the map up and hit him lightly on the head with it. "Bad boy, no drawing on things, that don't belong to you." When Ben didn't react in any way to the scolding or swatting as he was too busy thinking about saving his Rey from across the galaxy, his uncle added furiously. "That's it, you are getting a timeout. That should teach you to behave." He tugged him off the sofa and towards a corner.

"I wasn't the boy...erm girl, I saw her! In my dream, but it felt real! And I told you I know his...I mean her name, Ani...I mean Padmé...Rey..." said Ben as if that would explain everything, when he struggled against his uncle's firm hold and tried to get his precious notebook from the sofa by reaching out to it.

"No, talking in the corner." Luke drew out his chair from under his desk, put into a corner and plumbed Ben into it. "Sit here and think about what you did." He put away the troublesome notebook, his set and the map into a desk, but thanks to Ben's break in, he couldn't close the drawer completely. He growled. "You better fix this, or there will be trouble." His uncle moved in front of the desk and leaned against it, since his chair was occupied at the moment and the other chair was too uncomfortable for his back. He glared at his naughty nephew for putting him in that awkward position.

Ben didn't care about the anger being directed at his back, since he was stuck in another world. He drew a invisible circle, clockwise with his finger on the wall, all the while chanting:,,Ani, Padmé, Rey..." He stopped and drew a circle, counterclockwise. "Padmé, Ani, Rey," Stopped to draw another clockwise. "Ani, Padmé Rey," And again counter clockwise. "Padmé, Ani, Rey..."

* * *

 _What the..._

 _ **KR: That's creepy...**_

 _What does it all mean?_

 _ **KR: Probably nothing...**_

 _I hope so..._

 ** _KR: So stupid._**

 _What, you know what this means?_

 ** _KR: Maybe..._**

 _You are just bluffing as usual._

 ** _KR: Maybe..._**

 _Sigh..._

* * *

"Ani, Padmé Rey what...?" interrupted Luke his chanting. "Or Padmé, Ani Rey?"

"No, just Rey I think..." said Ben, who finally got out of his trance and looked over his shoulder, despite not be allowed to move or talk while in the corner. But since he had broken all rules, his uncle didn't even comment on it.

Luke narrowed his eyes. "Then why do you keep calling her Ani...and Padmé? Your grandparents names? Or well, your grandfather's nickname."

"I don't know." Ben looked lost.

"Hmm...and she has no surname."

"Yes..." said Ben in drawn out voice, like he wasn't sure if that was the truth.

"That's weird..." commented his uncle.

Ben jumped up and turned backwards in the chair to glower at his uncle. "It doesn't matter! I can give him...his...her my surname...I mean she was in great distress! We have to help her! I love him...her!" He gripped the chair back tightly, like it was some kind of rope to his dream.

"Lov...? What do you know about love...? You are just a kid." Luke smirked and shook his head over his nephew's silly outburst.

"I have really strong feeling for him...her, Ani...Padmé, Rey...Padmé...Ani, I mean Rey...she's my soulmate," said Ben desperately and shook the chair.

* * *

 _What's wrong with me? Why do I keep confusing genders and calling Rey, Ani? Or Padmé...? Or Padmé, Ani...Rey? Oh...I know, it's because of you!_

 _ **KR: Me! I told you, I only think of Vader!**_

 _Then why...?_

 _ **KR: That's obvious...because you are stupid.**_

 _That's...maybe just because I was a kid...who was sleep deprived...and because I drank some soap...some some fish oil and tons of blue milk and got sick after it...and took a sleeping pill..._

 _ **KR: Maybe...**_

 _Or because Rey is very similar to Anakin, grandad...when he was boy._

 _ **KR: Maybe. But, how come you know how he looked like...?**_

 _Old holos._

 _ **KR: There are no old holos. They were all destroyed when Vader was born. The emperor wanted that...stupid emperor...**_

 _Then..I must have compared him, to how uncle Luke looked like as a child._

 _ **KR: Hmm...perhaps...but that doesn't explain why Rey is similar to them...**_

 _It's just a coincidence..._

 _ **KR: Then why do you keep calling her Ani...? Or Padmé? She also does look a lot like her...remember, how she looked on the painting in grandfather's castle. Which he painted after memory...so talented! He captured me perfectly!**_

 _You?_

 _ **KR: I meant her, dummy.**_

 _Sheesh..everything is so confusing in here!_

 _ **KR: Tell me about it...**_

* * *

"Oh...okay...so you want to go to Jakku now?" asked Luke, like he was afraid of the answer.

"YES!" shouted Ben, as if that was the only truth that mattered in the whole galaxy and shook the chair that violently, it nearly fell over.

Luke grabbed the chair before he could hurt himself. "I can't believe you want to go to a far away planet to save an imaginary...boy...or a girl..."

"Rey is a girl," shot Ben at him.

"Whatever. Are you out of your mind?"

* * *

 _No, I'm stuck inside my mind..._

 _ **KR: That kind of...means the same thing...**_

* * *

"No, you are! I have to go! NOW!" Ben stood up and tried to jump out the window in search of Rey, without even opening it first, but his uncle caught him in his foolish mid-jump. "You should be more worried about saving yourself and the only way to do that is to follow my teaching." Luke carried him back to the sofa. "You are so tired after the long night, you are starting to hallucinate. It could also be a side effect from the pill. Stop fighting it and go to sleep, now." He pulled the blanket over him.

Ben sat up and crossed his arms in defiance. "I already took a nap, but then I had to wake up and now I can't fall asleep again."

* * *

 _ **KR: Hint, hint...**_

 _Shut up..._

* * *

"So you were asleep...why can't you go to sleep again? Because of the knights? Were they bullying you...? Don't worry, I put them in detention and I also gave them an early bedtime," said his uncle and put a comforting hand over his hand.

"No...not this time...not their fault..." said Ben sadly, like he would've preferred that over what was really the case.

"Was it something in your dreams? The girl? This...Rey? I'm telling you, stop worrying about her!" Luke glared at his desk where the notebook was kept, like it was all it's fault, even though he had suggested the essay to begin with.

Ben shook his head. "No, not the girl...not Rey...not this time...I dreamt dad came and brought me back home..." He twisted the edge of the black blanket in his hand and he tried to control his voice, as he got choked up.

For some reason Luke looked guilty. "Oh...and what happened then...?" He gave him a encouraging look. "In the dream, I mean."

"Mom was ecstatic to get me back... The corner of his mouth turned slowly upward as he remembered the dream.

"She was?"

Ben nodded and rambled on: "Of course, she cuddled me and said she would never leave me and then we made bantha burgers and I was about to eat ice cream cake and then we were going to go on a vacation to Naboo...I love Naboo, but the day after...not the same day. That would be silly, as it was the middle of the night...and was I supposed to go to sleep...in a dream...weird huh?"

Luke gave him a sad smile. "That dream sounds wonderful. Don't you want to go to sleep and keep dreaming that...dreamy dream?" He petted his head, as if that would help him get good dreams.

* * *

 _ **KR: For once I agree with him...I can make that dream reality for you...again...**_

 _I knew it, you just stole my cute...erm dream..._

 _ **KR: I don't steal...I borrowed it...and doesn't everything kind of belong to me as well, as I live here in your brain...?**_

 _NO! I have the intellectual copyright._

 _ **KR: What about creative commons?**_

 _NO!_

 _ **KR: Cheapskate.**_

* * *

"But that dream ended with dad leaving me here...and me screaming after him to come back..." said Ben and looked directly at his uncle, whose face crumbled and he stopped petting him.

"That doesn't sound so good...but perhaps you will dream something else next time," he pointed out.

* * *

 _ **KR: Remember IN my version that doesn't happen! So take it! Your happy childhood!**_

 _No thanks...not without my Rey..._

 _ **KR: I can add her!**_

 _That's not the same..._

 _ **KR: It can be! And even better, we can jump right ahead were you two are married and have...the children! Plus, you rule the kriffing galaxy! You will be emperor and empress!**_

 _Really?_

 _ **KR: Yes.**_

 _Hmm...let me think about it..._

 _ **KR: Excellent...**_

 _How about no..._

 _ **KR: What?! Why?!**_

 _You know why._

 _ **KR: No! I don't!**_

 _Then you have to find out._

 _ **KR: Oh...really...?**_

 _The tables have turned._

 _ **KR: Oh, have they...?**_

 _Yes._

 _ **KR: That's what you think...asshole.**_

 _That's not nice..._

 _ **KR: I'm done being nice.**_

 _Oh...I'm so scared._

 _ **KR: Oh, you will be. You will be...**_

 _So stupid..._

* * *

"In that same dream, I dreamt about Rey...she was being abandoned...at the same time as I was being left behind by dad. She yelled at...someone...to come back. Her family, I presume," said Ben through his teeth and clenched his fist, like he wanted to forcechoke them for treating his precious Rey like that. "Stupid family..." He stared ahead as he pictured their horrible deaths and grinned evilly.

"Oh...that's strange...the timing I mean of the Rey dream...who would do such a horrible thing to a child?" said his uncle innocently, as if he wasn't keeping a child against its will to train it as a Jedi instead of allowing it to become a cool smuggler, plus forcing it in a torturous Darth Vader rehab, but worst of all keeping it from saving their dream girl from a fate worse than death, as in intense loneliness since she wasn't with her other half, like she was destined to be.

* * *

 _You would!_

 _ **KR:...**_

 _What, Kylo are you sulking...? Here, I'm dissing Luke's parenting skills, your favorite past time...or well belittle the Last Jedi and you don't even join in._

 _ **KR...**_

 _Kylo? Is this part of your tactic...to scare me...? Hello...Kylo?_

* * *

"I don't know...or was that a vision...of the future?" asked Ben, as if Luke had the answers to everything.

"I can't tell. But you really should go back to sleep, you look exhausted...maybe you will get some answers that way..." replied Luke.

* * *

 _I know I wanted you to shut up...but it's far too lonely...in here. You are the only one I can talk to...sadly..._

 _ **KR:...**_

 _Please talk to me...please don't leave me alone..._

* * *

"You are right...I should go to sleep...it was such a wonderful dream...except the ending, hopefully I will dream more about...my Rey. She needs me. She is so lonely...so desperate to sleep..." Ben sniffled over her fate and rubbed his face with the heels of his hands. "My poor love..."

* * *

 _Sigh...what's wrong? I don't want to talk to myself...I mean...I'm sorry...for whatever I did...and you are the scariest person I know..._

 _ **KR: Really?!**_

 _No. But I got you to talk!_

 _ **KR: Fine, you win. I don't understand why don't you want to rule the galaxy with Rey!**_

 _Oh...that..._

 _ **KR: That is a huge deal!**_

 _That's because I don't want to miss out a single second with Rey, so no I don't want to skip ahead in some dreamworld, thank you very much..._

 _ **KR: There is simply no pleasing you!**_

 _I wouldn't mind ruling galaxy though..._

 _ **KR: Oh...that can be arranged...in this world I mean...**_

 _Really? Sounds nice, let me think about it..._

 _ **KR: That's better than nothing...**_

 _Rey is not nothing!_

 _ **KR: I wasn't even talking about her?!**_

* * *

"I highly recommend it...going to sleep I mean...I'm not so sure you should be obsessing about this Rey...like that." Luke chewed his lower lip, hidden under his beard, as if he wasn't sure if he should continue the story or not.

"Why not?"

His uncle met his eyes. "That's kind of what...drove your...erm Vader to the darkside...love...or well, losing it..."

Despite the serious topic, Ben's face lit up with excitement as it always did when Vader was brought up. "Really? Tell me more."

"No," said Luke with an icy expression and put up the " _Never Speak about Vader"_ wall again.

"Why not?" pouted Ben, as he tried to pick on the ice wall with an ice pick.

"You know why. It's forbidden," said his uncle and put up a stronger wall to enforce it.

"Why is it forbidden?"

"You know why!" thundered Luke, with the darkest look in his eyes.

* * *

 _ **KR: Vader turned to the darkside to save his wife from dying in childbirth. A perfect husband.**_

 _And then killed her...for betraying him for bringing Obi Wan._

 _ **KR: HEY! Stupid Obi Finn snuck onboard, I would never betray...!**_

 _You...? Wait Finn...?_

 _ **KR: I like to imagine what I would do in situation like that with grandpa...roleplaying...how to avoid being choked by him and getting to rule the galaxy with him. A happy ending...with our children...who would of course turn dark with us, no lightside nonsense!**_

 _Oh...okay...your children...ahaha...but what about Finn...?_

 _ **KR: I would have fought with my love against stupid Obi Wan Finn! We would've of course killed Darth Sidious, since as a team we would've been unstoppable! And then we would have ruled the galaxy as husband and wife! Forever! I mean our children would've course inherited it...Skywalker rules! Except Luke, he sucks...oh wait...in this example he would be my son...but he would be darkside, so that would be cool! Picture perfect!**_

 _You...really want to marry grandpa? But, you said you didn't...and I thought you wanted him to be your father...? You even said I was the one with a crush on grandpa...or grandma...and what about Finn?_

 _ **KR: It's just a game...don't take everything so literally. That's why I threw in the traitor...since he is a traitor...like stupid Obi Finn was.**_

 _And where does Rey fit into this...? She better be a part of your game...you better not leave her behind...don't exclude her...she will not be alone! Oh no...you don't mean she is...!_

 _ **KR: She is Vader of course...who else could she be...? There are only three characters in this story...except Luke and Leia of course but they are not born so they don't count...until later...**_

 _Wait...what...that means that you are...Padmé...? Grandma...?_

 _ **KR: Yeah, of course, Vader offered her to rule the galaxy with him. Who else could I be? But this time around, I would be force sensitive...and so dark! And cool! We would be the power couple, like we were always meant to be!**_

 _Shouldn't it be the other way around though...you know because of our genders...? And because you are...mini Vader...doesn't Rey fit better as Padmé...? Not that I want you to have her as your wife...but it's just a game so..._

 _ **KR: No, I want to be with grandpa, not be him. Be like him! It's not the same, you moron! Be with him forever!**_

 _I'm not sure who you are anymore...or anyone..._

 _ **KR: Erm...me neither...I think I'm losing my mind in here as well...**_

 _What! Don't you dare! I need you!_

 _ **KR: You need...me?**_

 _Yes, to get back!_

 _ **KR: Oh...that...**_

 _I need to get back to Rey!_

 _ **KR: Sigh...you basically have the same goal in your past...and here...**_

 _You do as well. Except I have met Rey...and I really just need to escape my own head instead of travel to a far away planet...to save her..._

 _ **KR: Good luck with that...have you made your decision about ruling the galaxy with Rey?**_

 _No...I'm still thinking. I want to finish this...whatever this is...first._

 _ **KR: Fair enough.**_

* * *

"No, why? You really can't talk about...him either...? Then shouldn't you take in fish oil as well...?" Ben grinned and made a grab for the medical bag, which contained the hated fish oil.

Luke grabbed his hand. "Your grandfather was killed by Vader. Show some respect!"

"Oh...right...sorry..." Ben hung his head in shame.

* * *

 _He really pulled out the card, killed your grandfather, is your grandfather..._

 _ **KR: Just like stupid Finn Obi.**_

 _Obi-Wan, his name was Obi Wan Kenobi._

 _ **KR: I know that...**_

* * *

"But you said...he who must no be named, loved you...like a son then...? Did he turn to the darkside for you...?" asked Ben carefully, as he scaled the ice wall and tried not to fall down to his death, by asking the wrong question.

* * *

 _ **KR: Hahaha, in his dreams. Vader turned for me!**_

 _You...?_

 _ **KR: Yes, in past life.**_

 _I thought he turned to save grandmother from dying..._

 _ **KR: Erm...that is true...**_

 _Then how do you fit in there?_

 _ **KR: I have no idea, but somehow! He told me that...**_

 _He told you that?_

 _ **KR Yes!**_

 _Then he must have been lying..._

 _ **KR: Grandfather never lies to me! He's the only one of my...erm your stupid family who doesn't do that!**_

 _O..okay...but you know that he never really talked to you..._

 _ **KR: What do you mean?**_

 _It was all your imagination. Snoke just made you think that his helmet spoke to you..._

 _ **KR: Erm no...he did talk to me! I even saw his cool form! Rey is the one, who is your imagination...**_

 _NO! You are!_

 _ **KR: Sigh...you will never learn...but then you do admit that you...created me...**_

 _NO, I did not create you!_

 _ **KR: Then what am I?**_

 _I...don't know...I think...Snoke created you..._

 _ **KR: Really...?**_

 _Or Luke for be being such a prick to me...all the time..._

 _ **KR: Hmm..**_

 _Or they did it...together..._

 _ **KR: Luke is working with...Snoke..?**_

 _Maybe...indirectly...kind of..._

 _ **KR: And I thought you couldn't get any dumber!**_

 _Hey!_

 _ **KR: Or maybe you made me to accommodate the darkness in your heart because of your family's..betrayal...**_

 _Which betrayal...?_

 _ **KR: Which...? There are more then one...? Erm...at least you have me to deal with your...stupid family...**_

 _Deal...with them...? Hey, I'm the only one who gets to do that and I'm the only one who gets to call them...stupid!_

 _ **KR: Okay...you have some serious problems dude...**_

 _Don't I know it...I seems to have made you..._

 _ **KR: HEY! I love Vader!**_

 _What does that have to do with anything?!_

 _ **KR: It has everything to do with everything!**_

 _Okay..._

 ** _KR: Open your eyes and see the truth!_**

 _Are you trying to brainwashing me into joining a cult?_

 ** _KR: Maybe..._**

 _So stupid..._

* * *

"Ben, no Vader." Luke looked at him warningly and pointed at the medical bag with the fish oil.

"But..."

"NO!" His uncle made the No Vader wall unclimbable by putting thorns on it. "Let's change the subject shall we? Even this could be a dream...who knows...? All of this could be one dream...am I even awake now...? I better not be sleeping and you are still here annoying me in my dream and stealing away precious resting time by keeping me awake. Though I wouldn't put it past you, to prank me like that...in a dream...did that make any sense..?" Luke chuckled at his own joke.

Ben growled and jumped of the sofa. "Don't worry, I'm leaving."

"Good...to sleep you mean?" His uncle escorted him to the door.

"Yes..."

"Good." His uncle opened the door with a flick of his finger.

"AND I plan on sleeping forever until dad comes back for me...and with my Rey...this time." said Ben dramatically, as he strode outside.

* * *

 _ **KR: Who do you think you are? Sleeping beauty?**_

 _She was waiting for a prince, not her father...to bring her the princess...erm prince...to wake her up..._

 _ **KR: You are such a princess...**_

 _Princess?_

 _ **KR: Yes.**_

 _Wait, then that means Rey is the prince...I mean the princess, because obviously I'm the prince! I think..._

 _ **KR: Sigh...back to Rey again...which you created...**_

 _I DID NOT CREATE HER! Or you...or anyone!_

 _ **KR: Then she is Anakin...or Vader reincarnated...or Padmé...**_

 _So..those are my only options...either I made her...or she my grandad...or grandmother...reincarnated...?_

 _ **KR: Pretty much.**_

 _That's...are you really saying that I'm in love with my grandad...? Or grandmother...?_

 _ **KR: Or she is your sister...or cousin.**_

 _I don't know what is worse..._

 _ **KR: Or she is just fiction.**_

 _That's by far the worst option!_

 _ **KR: But just think about it...like grandfather, she grew up in a desert, was a slave, good with machines, awesome pilot, speaks all languages...and is unbelievably strong with the force for someone untrained. Has a great affinity for both the light...and the dark...not mention her explosive temper! I don't really see that much likeness with Padmé, except what she looks like...plus she seems to like monsters...a lot...**_

 _Holy sith! That means Rey is grandpa Ani!_

 _ **KR: Right?**_

 _No! Rey is Rey...and probably had shitty parents who left her to fend for her own life..._

 _ **KR: Sounds boring...**_

 _You are boring..._

 _ **KR: I'm not boring! Why do you keep calling her Ani? Or Padmé?**_

 _Erm...I don't know..._

 _ **KR: So stupid...**_

 _I'm not stupid!_

 _ **KR: She could be your future cousin or sister, if Luke is your real father...that would explain the similarities...Luke got some woman pregnant, he called his baby Rey, because he got the idea from you, you heard how much he loved that name...and later left her on Jakku...because of reasons...yeah to protect her from you when you turned dark! Into awesome me, I mean!**_

 _Will you please stop with your stupid Rey parentage...and origin theories! They all suck!_

 _ **KR: Hey, there is nothing wrong with speculations...it's not like there much else we can do around here...**_

 _And whose fault is that?!_

 _ **KR: YOURS!**_

 _No, yours! You are keeping us here!_

 _ **KR: No, you are! If you would just accept the fact that your dreamworld is way better than your reality, I could leave here...**_

 _I'm not going to life in some stupid dreamworld!_

 _ **KR: Not even if you get all your wishes...?**_

 _Nothing compares to the real world...no matter how hard it will be...nothing is better than the real Rey..._

 _ **KR: Then prepare yourself for more pain!**_

 _You're such a pain!_

 _ **KR: NO, YOU ARE!**_

* * *

Luke groaned and dragged him back inside the office, before he would attempt that Sleeping Beauty thing and closed the door with a flick of his finger. "Ben, don't be ridiculous...that will never work. Your father can't come here without my permission. I told you I have a force shield." He whispered that bit conspiratorially, as it was some kind of a galaxy secret, that no one was supposed to know about.

"Doing the impossible or the illegal has never stopped my dad. That kind of is his thing. So what's really stopping him now?" said Ben in a challenging voice and crossed his arms with a frown.

"I meant that he doesn't want to come..." Luke lifted him back into the sofa, that Ben never seemed to get far away from. But he didn't seem to get away from anything or towards the things he wanted, anyway.

"Why...?" pressed Ben, as Luke hadn't really answered his question.

"Why do you think?" said Luke without meeting his eyes.

Ben frowned in concentration and then he gasped. "You mean...he still hasn't forgiven me?"

"Forgiven you...for what?" asked his uncle in his teacher voice, " _I'm not going to give you the answer, you already know it, what is it, think, stupid child!"_

"For...stealing the Falcon?" Ben gulped, like it was his greatest sin and crime and he looked out the window, where it was getting darker by the minute.

"He send you away for it." Luke looked him dead in the eye. "Well...from a certain point of view." He shrugged, while Ben felt gutted by the news.

* * *

 _ **KR: Told ya. Paiiin...**_

 _No..._

 _ **KR: This is the truth-truth. The painful truth...**_

 _I don't believe this...he's lying...dad said...he would never...he didn't...he did come to bring me home! He doesn't hate me! Not for that...but most likely for all the bad stuff I have done...today...but he didn't hate me for that!_

 _ **KR: Him coming for you was just a dream...remember...all just a...bad dream...and he hates you now...for everything...**_

 _All just a dream...everything is just a dream...nothing is real...anymore...not even..my Rey...? What about grandpa...and grandma...how do they fit into all this...? What is their connection to my Rey? And Vader...what's going on!? I don't understand anything..._

 _ **KR: At last you understand...but this not over yet...**_

 _I should've have known! AND YOU DIDN'T EXPLAIN ANYTHING!_

* * *

Ben drew a deep shuddered breath. "What...but he said...and he calls me his little bandit...and...the toy...what he said...it was just a dream..."He grabbed his head in panic and started hyperventilating as the world came crashing around him.

* * *

 _The toy...I don't remember it...and that candy...those must be the key to everything...this is ...the truth?_

 _ **KR: Do you never listen to me? I told you that cute him coming to bring you home memory was fake..or erm a dream...can I go back to the present now and get the map?**_

 _No...I don't understand...and you are never going back alone!_

 _ **KR: We shall see...**_

* * *

Luke put a hand on his shoulder to calm him down and get back to reality. "More importantly you were sent here for looking and acting, way too much like a mini Vader. You know what Vader did to us...that is to me, him and your mother..." He continued merciless his lecture.

Ben nodded seriously, but still had hard time getting his breathing under control.

* * *

 _ **KR: He didn't do anything to you, you ungrateful little twat!**_

 _He cut off his hand...and held his friends, my parents as hostages to lure him into a trap._

 _ **KR: And offered him a deal of a lifetime! Which he turned down! What a loser! If Vader would offered it to me, I would say yes in a heartbeat! This time around!**_

 _Of course you would...what this time? Has he ever offered you to the rule the galaxy? The kriff! He's just a melted helmet! He can't rule the galaxy!_

 _ **KR: Erm...I'm not sure why I said that...I guess I'm getting tired...**_

 _Then get us out of here!_

 _ **KR: I can't!**_

 _Liar! Stop messing with me...and Vader took Luke straight to the emperor!_

 _ **KR: He was his boss, what was he supposed to do? And that didn't happen until way later...and he killed his boss for him! Love remember...**_

 _Love? Are you talking about love?_

 _ **KR: I can't talk about love?**_

 _That's not very Sith-like..._

 _ **KR: I'm not a Sith.**_

 _Then what are you?_

 _ **KR: I don't know...**_

* * *

"Ben, I will give you a permission to ask about Vader...this time," said Luke when he saw his nephew had something to say, but didn't know how to say it, as he kept opening and closing his mouth with a pop. "Breathe, son." He rubbed his back. "I don't want you to pass out. No need for that, please calm down."

Ben took a deep breath as instructed and another, before he managed to ask his question, when his uncle had lowered his defences some. "But, why are they so afraid of me turning into a...mini Vader? Are you...?"

Luke sat down beside him and pulled him into a one arm hug. "Son, you have no idea how much we don't want you to turn like him. It would be total nightmare for all of us. You would be even more pain in the ass than you are right now...my little padawan."

* * *

 _ **KR: No one asked for your opinion!**_

 _Yeah..._

* * *

"I'm not a pain in the ass," grumbled Ben offended and pushed him away, but Luke held firmly onto him.

"Oh really... so you have not being naughty and not listening to anything I have said to you...?" Luke pointed at the crack on the floor, after one of Ben's outburst and the splinters on the floor, after Ben's break-in.

Ben huffed. "Okay fine...but your are a pain in the ass as well." He turned away from him to avoid eye contact, but Luke lifted him up into his lap and embraced him tightly and whispered softly into his hair.

"I'm trying to protect you...you are making it really hard for me...my little padawan. Like sneaking into my bedroom...and putting yourself in great danger...you have to stop that."

Ben sulked, where he was trapped in his uncle strong embrace. "I understand Vader scares you...but, no matter how much I will be like him...I will still be me right...? It's not like there is any connection between us...beside you having been his enemies...and him somehow being connected to Rey...maybe. But, I am only fooling around, it's nothing serious...it's just a pretend play...I am just a kid...it's not like I can change into him...can I...? Or Rey...she is lightside...I think. Except in my essay, you wanted me to make her darkside. It's your fault! Besides it's Kylo who are doing those things...not me..." He looked pleadingly at his uncle, like he hoped he would give his case another chance.

* * *

 _ **KR: Cue, telling the truth about your...my awesome family connection to Vader...**_

 _Which he never did..._

 _ **KR: Because he's a prick...**_

 _You keep yammering about your family relation to Vader, yet you deny having any relations to my mom or Luke. How does that make any sense? And how can Rey be Vader as well...is she speaking through the helmet...?_

 _ **KR: I...shut up! Don't take my grandpappy away!**_

 _Sorry..._

 _ **KR: Besides blood is not everything, our connection goes way deeper than that! Your own blood can betray you...hurt you...like our own son and daughter did to poor Vader!**_

 _Poor Vader...? Did he tell you this? Wait...our...? Sigh...not again..._

 _ **KR: NO, of course not. Grandfather would never admit how hurt he was by their actions. So it's up to be me, to get his revenge! The one he loves the most!**_

 _So stupid..._

* * *

"Is Kylo the one trying to reach out to this Rey...Vader...?" asked Luke, as he took that information in.  
"No, that's me...or maybe him as well...I'm not sure...but the Vader part must be Kylo," said Ben honestly.

* * *

 _ **KR: I don't deny that...**_

 _The Vader part is all you._

 ** _KR: Is it...really?_**

 _And the Rey is all me._

 ** _KR: But she is..._**

 _SHE IS NOT VADER!_

* * *

"If it only was that simple...you are forcesensetive, anything can happen, you have to be a good padawan...no the best there is. You are the real chosen one! So forgot about going home for a while and focus on your training. Remember you still have to get your lightsaber, you must earn it first...through hard work and obedience. That's only way for you to get back home...and possibly get...this Rey..." lectured his uncle.

* * *

 _ **KR: The chosen one turned to the darkside..he never mentioned that...important detail...**_

 _No he didn't...but Rey will not turn._

 _ **KR: Again, you mean.**_

 _I'm not listening!_

* * *

As the clouds gathered to hide the last bit of the sun outside, Ben started shivering in his uncle's hold.

"Ben...?" Luke called after him, but Ben was already deep and lost in his dark thoughts.

"Dad really left me here...as a punishment...? He send me into an exile...?" Ben shivered, as the temperature dropped inside the room and in his soul.

"I would hardly call this exile...it's a cool, but strict Jedi training...and you will get your own lightsaber...some day..." said his uncle in the hope of reaching out to him.

"I stole the Falcon, so dad wouldn't leave me or mom...and he doesn't even talk to me, except he said those hurtful words..." muttered Ben, on the verge of crying.

"Wait, what hurtful words...I thought he hadn't even talked to you then...? Is that why you nearly turned to the darkside...? What did he say?" asked Luke, who had completely lost the plot again.

"He also sent me away for it..." spit Ben out bitterly, as he watched the sun fully disappear behind the clouds.

"What did he say?"

Ben gazed helplessly at his uncle. "I don't understand anything...why did he leave me here...I'm so cold...does this mean dad hates me?" A single tear ran down his cheek.

"What? No, of course not...why would you even think that...? What did he say to you?" pleaded Luke and wiped the tear away with his thumb.

A dark shadow passed over Ben's face. "He said that I were no son of his and that he didn't care what I would do."

* * *

 _I don't remember him saying that!_

 _ **KR: Well, you have been misremembering a lot!**_

* * *

 _Next up: Confusing parental messages..._

 _All aboard the pain train! But it won't be too long and there will of course be loads of family fluff (in between)! But also family drama and silliness! Is Ben misremembering or is this something else...? And is Luke...hiding something? And what the kriff is going on with Kylo? Is he losing his mind...inside Ben's mind? Until next time...I will update as soon as I can!_


	31. Confusing parental messages

_AN: Another quick update! Woohoo! I'm on a roll! Hopefully I can keep this speed up..._

* * *

Chapter thirty one - Confusing parental messages

"He said that...?" Luke looked appalled, as if he wanted to shout at Han from across the galaxy for being a bad dad.

"Yeah..." Ben sobbed and leaned into his chest for comfort.

"When?" His uncle embraced him tightly.

"When he caught me...red handed taking the Falcon..." said Ben through sobs.

"Oh..." Luke's blue eyes widened in realization. "I see..."

* * *

 _Ah...under those circumstances...I can imagine him saying something stupid like that..._

 _ **KR: Really?**_

 _Just in pure rage...but now I understand better why I nearly went to the darkside back then..stupid dad I was just a child! What was he thinking? Saying things like that and sending me away! He really should stop reading those child advice on the holonet, they suck...especially twenty years ago...when children barely had any rights...just look what happened to my poor Rey!_

 _ **KR: But, you made her...**_

 _I certainly did not make her and If I ever find her flesh and blood parents that just left her there, I'm suing them for child abuse..and neglect! And then I will kill them!_

 _ **KR: I doubt Rey wants that...and what if it was Luke or...even your own parents?**_

 _Look, even though my parents can be bad...they are not that bad...and Luke well..._

 _ **KR: Oh yeah, I wouldn't exactly call your father the parent of the year, sending you away and saying something like that...or maybe he found out that you really are Luke's son...**_

 _You are so stupid...No, I think he was he talking about you..._

 _ **KR: Me?**_

 _Yeah...you are not his son._

 _ **KR: I think you are really grasping at straws here...**_

 _No, I'm not...this is the truth...I know it..._

 _ **KR: Oh really...I thought I didn't exist when you were a child...that's what you have been saying...**_

 _Oh...then what..._

* * *

"What did dad mean...?" asked Ben in the hope of getting his world back and the darkness out of his soul.

"Are you sure he wasn't talking about Kylo," asked Luke sternly and wiped his nephew's eyes, with the hem of his robe.  
"Kylo?" Ben looked startled up. The sky stared to clear up and moon had replaced the sun.

"Yes, as you pinned the blame on him and your father of course had nothing to say to him...so I guess he was trying to get you to come back, his real son...except it backfired...horribly," said his uncle gently and stroked his hair to console him and to restore Han's image, even though he messed up a big time.

* * *

 _Told ya...wait...you did exist back then...? Wait...? What...!_

 _ **KR: See, even stupid Luke thinks you uses me way too much as a scapegoat! If you would just take responsibility of your actions this wouldn't have happened!**_

 _I hope not...that would be embarrassing..._

 _ **KR: You're embarrassing...if it was so obvious, why didn't you know that was what your father really meant back then...?**_

 _I was a kid..._

 _ **KR: That's your excuse for everything..?**_

 _If it happened when I was a kid...yeah..._

 _ **KR: You're still a kid at heart...**_

 _Perhaps..._

 _ **KR: I think you are stuck in time and still waiting for your father to bring you home from the academy. You never got over that...that it was just a dream...and the fact is that he didn't really care...and abandoned you...forever...and you made Rey to mirror that feeling of being abandoned and to make her more real she was inspired by your grandparents...especially cool Vader. She is nothing more than allegory that stands for your abandonment issues.**_

 _What are you my physiatrist? What do you think you know about what I think? And Rey is real! She is flesh and blood! And she is not Vader!_

 _ **KR: Have you touched her...?**_

 _Yes, we touched hands...when we ran from the bombing Tie-fighters ..she touched my forehead...to check my temperature...she even hit me with her staff and she bit me...she slapped him upside the head..._

 _ **KR: What a lovely girl...**_

 _Shut up! She is awesome! She just as a bit of a...temper..._

 _ **KR: Like Vader.**_

 _Sigh...drop that already!_

 _ **KR: Though Vader never hit me...he just forcechoked me...**_

 _What...the...yet another one of your strange...fantasies...! You need help, man!_

 _ **KR: Oh...like you wouldn't want Rey to choke you...? With the force...?**_

 _Erm..that's different...though I would prefer her physical contact...not the force...and not choking me!_

 _ **This was no fantasy. I still remember how I struggled to breathe until I fell unconscious...and think Obi Finn carried me away into a shuttle after he had chomped my darling Vader in half and then I...my last word were...there is still good in him...I know it...but what I really should I have said is...I wanted to join him! Stupid me! I'm dead because of my stupid mistake! I hope I come back to rectify that! End of scene...**_

 _Your roleplaying is really getting about of hand! This must be some shit you did with Hux...wait...did Finn participate...? Back when he as a trooper?_

 _ **KR: Of course not...he so tiny he could never carry me...such a puny guy...**_

 _True...but that's not the part I was really worried about..._

 _ **KR: As I live in your brain...nothing gets past me... plus I have excellent deduction skills. Thus she is...**_

 _Right...only in your dreams..._

 _ **KR. Like Rey is.**_

 _SHUT UP!_

 _ **KR: Or Vader...**_

 _Where is the mute button on you?!_

 _ **KR: There isn't one...and hey! When I shut up, you begged me to come back! You said you were so lonely!**_

 _Right...I'm sorry. You can talk, just stop confusing me. You can be such a blabbermouth..._

 _ **KR: I'm not a blabbermouth! I telling you the truth, you stupid boy! Open your eyes! Or perk your ears!**_

 _Please shut up or we will never finish this..._

 ** _KR: You shut up!_**

* * *

Ben looked up at his uncle, as the realisation hit him and he bit his lower lip in shame. "Oh...I never thought about it that way...but why didn't dad say that then? It was really confusing...I thought he really hated me..."

"Not again." His uncle shook his head tired, as if he was teaching the same lesson over and over without any result.

"Again?" Ben gave him a confused look, as he didn't remember a single lesson where this was the topic.  
"We have been through this already," said his uncle firmly. "Of course he doesn't. He probably thought he didn't need any explaining...or he was just too angry...and afraid to think clearly. People often say all the wrong stuff in anger...and fear...you of all people should know that."

"Will he ever forgive me...?" asked Ben in his smallest voice possible, as the darkness begun to engulf his heart once again.

* * *

 _ **KR: He never forgave you for it...and he will never forgive you turning to the darkside...**_

 _That can't be. He has been surprisingly lenient with me, he hasn't even grounded me for it...not that he's going to! Even though he send me away as a child...for stealing the Falcon and resembling Vader...if uncle was telling the truth...about that...in fact he's been way too nice to me..._

 _ **KR: Oh, that's just a trap...**_

 _A trap?_

 _ **KR: Yes, to make you think you are safe. You are a still a criminal in his eyes...**_

 _Dad is a criminal...why would he care?_

 _ **KR: Not that kind of a criminal! You are way too dangerous to be kept alive...**_

 _Dad would never kill me...literally..._

 _ **KR: How can you be so blind? Your father just got the news that you still have darkside, even though you turned to the light, that you tried to kill people...with your darkside. If he didn't think you were dangerous, he certainly think so now! You can't be trusted!**_

 _Oh, no you are right!_

 _ **KR: Of course I am...**_

 _He knows now that I never..truly got rid of the darkside...I still haven't gotten ridden of it. Now, dad will think of me as something dangerous again...he will get rid of me again...I knew it...he never meant to come back for me...he never came back for me...I should never have come back...it was all a mistake..._

 _ **KR: Told ya.**_

 _He's sees now that I'm truly just a mini Vader..._

 _ **KR: A mini Vader..so cool...so cool...**_

 _What about Rey then...?_

 _ **KR: She is...the real one...kind of...**_

 _Real...? So she is real...?_

 _ **KR: What is better than one Vader...two Vaders!**_

 _Erm...okay...so...stupid...stop lumping Rey with Vader! I just want to get out of here...and yet I want the truth...for her..._

 _ **KR. You can't do both. So how about...that offer? You can still take it...have you made your decision...you know if you continue this...you will only get more pain.**_

 _I told you I want to see this through...and leave...to get Rey..._

 _ **KR: So stupid. The only way to get out, is to finish this memory trip or take my offer.**_

 _Then I want to finish this..._

 _ **KR: Fine, it shouldn't be that long. All aboard the pain train!**_

* * *

"Of course he already forgave you..." answered Luke through his darkness.

* * *

 _He forgave me...? That's not the pain I was expecting..._

 _ **KR: Oh, no shut up stupid Luke! I was on my way to bring him straight back to the darkside and you ruined it. Why didn't I stop the memory?! I was so close to winning!**_

 _No you weren't. Come on, it's not that easy..._

 _ **KR: Oh, yes it is...he could be lying...remember...I still have time...**_

 _Time? Speaking of, I thought you were going to make this quick! Like really quick!_

 _ **KR: I never said how quick! Unless, have you made your decision?**_

 _No._

 _ **I should have I known, you also asked for the truth-truth.**_

 _I'm done with that. This is enough. So...please stop this. I need to get back to...help Rey._

 _ **KR: Can't. Sorry, you must see this through...and witness the pain...a lot and lost of pain...**_

 _You're lying...there is no pain..._

 _ **KR: Why would I lie? Just listen to mini you...**_

 _Mini me?_

* * *

"If he already forgave me...then why am I still here...? Why did he leave me here?" Ben glanced around the cramped small office with distaste, since at the moment for him, it was the worst place in the galaxy. Except Jakku. Jakku was probably way worse. Poor Rey.

Luke stroked his hair. "To protect you of course. He loves you...more than anything in the whole galaxy..along with your mom...Chewie..." His mouth twitched before the list got any longer and he sighed. "Anyways, he just had to make a very difficult decision...we all had to...so you have to make one too. That is, to stay here and finish your important training. You are the chosen one."

* * *

 _ **KR: No Rey is...**_

 _Most likely..._

 _ **KR: Very likely...if there is a chosen one than it must be her...that cheatmode...or Vader...**_

 _Stop calling her that! Cheatmode and Vader! I had forgotten how uncle was always hammering about, how I was the chosen one..._

 _ **KR: You were really good at shutting out his teachings...**_

 _They were so boring...I wanted to fly instead of being stuck on some rocks, mediating forever and maybe use my lightsaber a little bit. He hardly allowed me to use it! He was always protecting me...but from what...?_

 _ **KR: Darkside...meaning Rey...that's why he didn't allow you to go and get her...**_

 _Rey is not darkside. If Luke thought that, then he is even more of an idiot that I thought. She is even named after a ray of light. Come on, she can't be darkside! Besides, this was not the right way. He shouldn't have forced me...it had the opposite effect..._

 _ **KR: It sure was the right way...for me...**_

 _Stupid uncle...why didn't he just allow me to go home...? Or pick up Rey? Why did he and my parents have to make everything so difficult?!_

 _ **KR: Are you sure you can blame it all on them?**_

 _What do you mean?_

 _ **KR: You forgot all about her.**_

 _I still don't understand...how that was possible...?_

 _ **KR: And you...or well I, still haven't wrecked your uncle's office...for real...**_

 _Oh no, you really meant that?! You...?_

 _ **KR: Yebb. The most fun part is still left...aaah that's why I didn't just stop the memory! I wanted to see that again! It was fun! Always fun to break things!**_

 _What, you can stop the memory...for good?_

 _ **KR: Not until I get what I want.**_

 _So evil..._

 _ **KR: We are going to have so much fun...destroying Jedi things! Say goodbye to all the precious Jedi artifacts!**_

 _I've a bad feeling about this..._

 _ **KR: As you should...**_

* * *

"But I am just a kid...kids make mistakes...right? Am I not allowed to make mistakes...?" asked Ben desperately, as he had no idea how to go through life without making some.

Luke groaned when he heard the real cause of Ben's misery. "Is that one of the reason you went to the darkside...your father's words...?"

Ben nodded and sniffled. "Yeah...they really...really hurt. I wish he could've have just worded it better."

"Of course, I wish I could say that I would never do such a mistake with my child." Luke sighed. "But of course all parents make mistakes. I even make mistakes with you..."

"Like trying to kill me."

Luke stiffened. "Yes, that was horrible...but I still love you and your father does as well. He was not angry at you for taking the Falcon, you know."

"He wasn't...?" asked Ben surprised.

"No, he was afraid of losing you. You were running away...that's what made him angry," said his uncle in his most softest voice possible.

"It was...? That's the same thing he said in my dream...are you sure...it's the same thing in reality...?" Ben didn't dare to hope, as he was so used to have his hope crushed, despite his mom being the most optimistic person he knew. Or well, at least on the outside. Inside, she was probably crying or screaming in frustration over the stupidity of other people, who couldn't just do as they were told. Namely, him..or well also his father and uncle. But mostly him.

Luke nodded. "Of course I am, but do you want to call him and ask...oh wait...we can't..." He bit his lip, as if he said too much.

"Because, don't have his number," finished Ben for him.

Luke nodded, happy that his nephew finally listened to him. "Exactly...but we could of course call your mother and ask her about it..." He went over to his desk and retrieved the com-link.

"And have her yelling at me for everything I have done? No, thanks." Ben shivered in dread, as he imagined her scoldings that would sure to come, sooner or later. He preferred later or never at all. He stared scared at the com-link in Luke's hand, as if he was expecting it turn into his mom to yell at him for everything.

"If she hears how badly you are feeling, she probably will not be that mad to know what you did...or at me," said Luke, but it didn't sound like he believed his own words and he too, looked afraid of the equipment in his outstretched hand.

"You sure?" asked Ben hopeful and took the com-link from his open palm.

Luke sighed. "I can't guarantee it of course..." He knew better. There was no way to escape from her scoldings, not even by going into hyperspace. She would just find a way to scold them through a mind-link.

* * *

 _Did she ever scold you?_

 ** _KR: Me? No...she's not my mother! But oh, boy is she going to scold you!_**

 _She already did._

 ** _KR: You call that scolding...?_**

 _No._

 ** _KR: I thought not._**

 _Gulp..._

* * *

"So, can I ask her to call dad to take me home...now?" asked Ben, who was braver than his uncle and was ready to risk a scolding. Also because, technically Luke was in way worse trouble than him, for nearly ending his life, even if it was by an accident. His mom would not look too fondly on that, near nepoticide.

"No, not yet...and you know why," said Luke sternly as he had no longing to go back to that endless debate of why Ben can't go home yet. He looked anxiously at the com-link, like he wanted to take it back, but allowed Ben to keep it for now.

"Oh...how about picking up Rey then?" said Ben expectantly, as he finally found a sure way to help her. At least it beat him trying to reach her across the galaxy and help her that way.

Luke sighed. "I meant to chat to her or your father...about his words...or that dream with the lost toy falcon and lollipop. Maybe they can help you decipher the dream, if it worries you so much...and about this Rey..." Luke voice trailed at the last part, as he wasn't sure it was so wise to encourage more Rey-talk.

Ben pouted and gave him the com-link back, to Luke's relief. "They have never been a chatter and they are both far too busy...for me...especially for something stupid like words...or dreamology...or my...love...girl...they probably won't even believe me..."

"A parent is never too busy for their child..." said Luke solemnly, as he put the com-link back.

"Why do you talk like you are a parent? Do you have a child?" said Ben as Luke drew his chair and put it in front of the sofa and sat down into it.

"Yes and no," said his uncle in a mystified voice and stared deep into his eyes, as if he was seeing someone else there.

Ben stared back at him without blinking, like they were in a staring contest. Of course he lost and he blinked furiously after his eyes stared to burn. "I don't follow...did you lose a child in birth, like uncle Lando...?"

* * *

 _ **KR: Lando had a child..?**_

 _Yes, it was very tragic, it died in birth, I was six or seven years old...I never met my cousin..._

 _ **KR: What happened to the birth mother...did she die a well...? Like me...erm Padmé?**_

 _You..? The kriff? More games? We really need to get out here and fast!_

 _ **KR: Yeah...**_

 _No, uncle Lando and aunt Kesha got seperated. He threw himself into work and she did too...I think..._

 _ **KR: But he didn't turn dark...? Or she...?**_

 _Lando isn't force sensitive...and if he was, he would probably be more on the grey side...and Kesha as well._

 _ **KR: Bah! Grey...**_

* * *

"No...I have my Academy and you." Luke reached out to put his hand on Ben's head.

"Me...?"

His uncle nodded and petted his head. "You are my surrogate son while under my care."

"I only have one father," said Ben slowly, as if Luke had forgotten how biology works.

"Of course," Luke nodded in agreeance, but still didn't stop petting him.

"Or well...two, since unca Wanwo is my second father," corrected Ben and smiled as he thought of his cool, honorary uncle.

Luke withdrew his hand sharply, like he had burned himself. "What, how can he be your second father...? I'm here watching out for you...while he is off somewhere, this is not fair..." He pointed out the window in the dark, as if he was seeing Lando out there having fun with some lady, droid or even man.

"But he lost a child...so he is a father, unlike you," said Ben slowly, like he was reading the description of the word father from a dictionary.

* * *

 _Could Rey be Lando's? Then she would be my cousin, but not my blood cousin. No big deal! Haha, in your face! And it doesn't matter if we are family in past life...since that would just be soul not blood!_

 _ **KR: Huh, how to you figure...? I thought we were done with Rey's parentage and origin theories...? And are you saying Lando is that horrible father, that he would leave his child behind...**_

 _No! Unca Wanwo...I mean uncle Lando is too awesome for that! I mean what if the truth is...his baby was swapped at birth, with a dead one and his alive one, was kidnapped...for...erm...ransom...?_

 _ **KR: What for...? And why haven't Lando payed that ransom yet then...? And isn't Rey way too young...for that timeline to work? How old is she again...? You said Lando lost his child, when you were what, six or seven years old?**_

 _She is nineteen. Sigh...you are right. Rey wasn't born yet. But, maybe I'm misremembering and it happened when I was ten...! Ah that's why I had these dreams about her! I got it, she was kidnapped by the First Order to be made into a trooper, but the shuttle crashed and landed on Jakku. And that's why poor Rey has been waiting all these years, but her parents don't know that she survived so..._

 _ **KR: Hmm...you mean to tell me she had to survive on Jakku, since she was a baby..?**_

 _Well...if she was the chosen one in other life..._

 _ **KR: Now, you believe in that theory...but what about the shuttle she was screaming after when she was what...five...eight...?**_

 _Oh...right...but that could be a false memory..._

 _ **KR: She doesn't even look like him...**_

 _She could take up after her mother!_

 _ **KR: She doesn't look like Kesha either...admit it, she takes most after...your family...**_

 _We are not related! At least...not in this life...and I did not create her! I'm sticking to my Lando theory! That's the best one!_

 _ **KR: No, your Lando theory has way too many holes in it!**_

 _Shut up, then you come up with a better one!_

 _ **KR: Oh, I will...first of all, we don't know if Lando's baby is really alive...**_

 _Oh...right..._

 _ **KR: But, if that would be the case, it could well be you know...the traitor...just saying...at least he looks like him...somewhat...**_

 _Finn? Hmm...but I was really asking about Rey..._

 _ **KR: There are other origin stories beside hers!**_

 _I don't care about anyone, but hers!_

 _ **KR: So pathetic...**_

* * *

"I...kind of did...lose a child...I mean..." Luke bit his lip, like he was in great pain and his eyes had the most sorrowful look in them that Ben had ever seen from him.

"But you said you didn't."

"From a certain point of view...it's complicated...son..." Luke smiled like someone who had once had held something good, but lost it and now only had memories to go by his day with.

* * *

 _ **KR: Sounds to me like...incest...since he had to give his child...away...blood shame...he had Rey with your mother...**_

 _Urgh...will you drop that already! It's gross! I don't want incest origin theories!_

 _ **KR: You have no choice. I just meant that either you...or Rey could be...born that way...maybe that's why poor Rey was left on some desert planet.**_

 _Erm...how about no! My mother would never do that!_

 _ **KR: What about Luke...?**_

 _Well...yeah I could see him doing something so stupid...like leaving his child unattended somewhere...adopted one I mean..._

 _ **KR: I feel a tiny bit sorry for Luke, that you can think something so awful about him...**_

 _Maybe, we should just wait to jump to conclusion, until we get more information..._

 _ **KR: Yeah.**_

 _I'm still rooting for her to be Lando's that would be so cool! :D_

 _ **KR: Wait...is that a smiley face...?**_

 _I'm really losing it in here...but my point still stands!_

* * *

"Are you talking about your son in the dream...?" asked Ben, as he tried to fit everything together that his uncle had said.

"Why...yes..." Luke nodded, surprised that Ben caught on so quickly.

"That's not the same as losing someone in real life..." Ben narrowed his eyes at him, for making up some imaginary sob story to get easy sympathy from him.

Luke huffed in annoyance. "Oh...isn't Rey real for you...even though you two have only met in a dream. In fact you can't stop thinking about her," he shook a finger at him sternly.

Ben gulped, as he couldn't really fight the Rey argument and he agreed with him. "You make a strong point...you can be my...third father." He smiled wickedly, like someone who had lot to give, but only gave one credit to the poor.

"How can I get up in rank?" pleaded Luke with him.

"By letting me leave...and get my Rey." Ben grinned, but Luke frowned at him, for even trying that blackmail and shook his head.

"Nice try. Go to sleep." He stood up from the sofa, drew the curtains and turned off the light. "Now, Ben."

"Technically, Lando is my number one dad now...so you can be number two," said Ben, as Luke got himself ready for bed.

"Did you just...demote your own father?" Luke looked outrageous.

"He left me here," spat Ben.

"Yes...but...he had no choice...he did it protect you. Trust me," pleaded his uncle, like he had done some irrevocable damage to the father-son relationship.

"I won't believe that, until he tells me that himself," said Ben merciless. "He has lot to answer for...like telling me that I'm not his son and not clarifying what he meant...stupid dad..."

"Oh...okay...I can understand that you are mad at him for it. Then where does he rank now...?" asked Luke and feared the answer.

"I'm not sure. At least he will have to do a lot to get back to being my number one dad," Ben crossed his arms with a hateful glare.

"I doubt he will be happy to hear that..." Luke was shocked to see, that gone were the days that Ben idolised Han.

"I don't care. Say, if you had a child...for real..." inquired Ben like he was interviewing Luke for the open available dad positions, as his uncle rummaged through the dark with a flashlight.

"I have you and the academy," replied his uncle without missing a beat, as he put away his things for the night.

"Of your own...what would you do?" asked Ben curiously.

Luke surprised by the question. "Do...? Send it to bed obviously. So go to bed now...wait are you hungry?"

"No."

"Are you sure...have you eaten anything today?"

"I thought I was supposed to call mom?" said Ben, since his uncle's fussing reminded him of her.

"You are too scared to let her know what you did last night," said Luke matter-of-factly.

"I'm not scared!" shouted Ben indignantly, thought it was the truth and nothing but the truth.

"Yes, you are. You know she will lecture you for it and...me, so...you better sleep in here tonight. I changed my mind, I'm not going to move you to your room." He put away the chair that was in front of the sofa and put it back under his desk.

"You are not...?" Ben gazed at him in surprise.

"No. I do not want to wake up to you sneak up on me again...nearly being impaled my lightsaber. One time was enough! To make absolutely sure that is doesn't happen again, I will lock it up." Luke picked up his saber and put in a safe. Ben could hear the lock click close.

"What about the saber on the wall...?" Ben pointed at the red saber that hung behind the desk, the one he really wanted to have.

Luke glanced at it and back at him. "That just some ancient..." He shook his head. "I doubt it even works. It's only for decoration. No touchy or there will be trouble." He shook a finger at him. "And go to sleep this minute. You need all the sleep you can get, after your stupid night adventure that nearly got you killed." He opened up a closet and took out a thick mattress. He breathed heavily as he fought to get it lose from the little closet.

"Where will you sleep?" Ben glanced around the office, which despite it small size had lot of secrets, but having a bedroom was not one of them.

Luke dragged the mattress until it landed beside the sofa with plop. He wiped the sweat of his brow. "I will sleep here on the floor and watch over you...and make sure you won't sneak away or do something stupid."

"You don't have a bed," said Ben, as if his uncle didn't already know that and had already fixed that, kind of.

"No, no budget." Luke picked up a thin blanket and pillow from the upper shelve in the closet and threw them on the mattress.

"We could go and bring one of the unused beds over here..." suggested Ben and was about to do that, when his uncle stopped him, by saying: "I'm way too sleepy to move big things around..." Then he flopped onto the mattress and curled under the blanket with a content smile.

"Shouldn't I sleep there...? It can't be good for your back. I can also go back to..." said Ben, but his uncle cuff him off and barked at him: "No, you need all the rest you can get. Don't worry about me. I'm used to sleeping in strange places. Now go to sleep."

"I can go back to my room..." said Ben, who among countless other things, hated to feel like a burden.

* * *

 _ **KR: Weren't you trying all this time to stay? Because you were too afraid to be alone?**_

 _No, I just wanted dad's number...and Rey._

 _ **KR: But now?**_

 _I don't know...at least I still want Rey._

 _ **KR: This is your memory and you don't know anything?**_

 _Only bits and pieces.._

 _ **KR: But, no spoilers...nothing of value...**_

 _You could say that...but at least I have always wanted Rey._

 _ **KR: And I always Vader...**_

 _I guess, it's good that some things...never change..._

 ** _KR: But they did change, you forgot about Rey...while I never forgot about Vader...so I win!_**

 _I don't know why I forgot about her! But at least I remembered her...in the end! That must count for something, right?_

 ** _KR: I doubt she will look at it that way..._**

 _I hope she will understand!_

* * *

Luke sat up and gave him a sad smile. "I'm not leaving you alone kid...not when you are feeling unwell and if I send you back, you would probably stay up all night and think about all this stuff. While in here, I can make sure you go to straight to sleep...or well at least I can try..." He looked doubtfully at him. "Are you sure, you are not hungry?"

"I'm sure."

"Okay, then go to sleep." Luke yawned and lay back down. "Nighty, night."

"Would your real child be a student in your academy? Or be living with its mother?" continued Ben, despite the fact his uncle was trying his hardest to fall asleep.

His uncle shot back up. "Are you still thinking about that...and what kind of a question is that anyway? Of course here, I would prefer to keep my child as close to me as possible...so sleep son." He gazed longingly at the ear plugs on the nightstand, but decided against using them, since it had nearly ended horribly last time. He groaned and put a pillow over his head, to muffle out the sound of Ben's ramblings.

* * *

 _Hmm...then there is no way Rey can be his...not even in the future..._

 _ **KR: Are you sure...? He could be lying...or he changed his mind...**_

 _Rey is my dream girl._

 _ **KR: And your creation...**_

 _I seriously doubt that...I couldn't create something so...beautiful...clever and powerful...and just so plain awesome!_

 _ **KR Sigh...**_

* * *

"Then you would not need me," whispered Ben into the dark, a bit sadly.

Luke took the pillow of his head and stared bewildered at him. "Need you?"

"Yeah, you would have your own child." Ben put on his victory smile, as he believed he had found the solutions to both of their problems. Or at least a way to get away from this place and maybe even save Rey.

His uncle shook his head tiredly. "You don't think I have room for both of you...? I have a whole school to take care of. But, of course my...own child would come first..." He smiled proudly at him.

"I understand." Ben nodded and felt a tiny bang of jealousy, despite wanting above all to leave. But, as he was so used to being second place or even lower for his family and other people, he kind of wished someone for once, would put him in first place.

* * *

 ** _KR: Snoke put us in first place..._**

 _Yes and he tortured us!_

 ** _KR. You can't have everything..._**

 _I wonder if Rey will put me in first place?_

 ** _KR: Why would she do that...?_**

 _She is in first place with me._

 ** _KR: Yeah...but you don't really have a lot to choose from..._**

 _HEY! Not true! I have my family._

 ** _KR: That hates you now..._**

 _Sigh...I'm afraid you are right..._

 ** _KR: And Rey will hate you as well..._**

 _I hope not! That would suck!_

* * *

"But, I'm not going to break the Jedi code, so you don't have to worry about that happening." Luke gave him, what he thought was his most comforting smile, but Ben frowned in distaste.

"You don't look too happy about that," said his uncle confused.

"Well, the Jedi code sucks." Ben snorted.

"It's there for a reason." Luke looked at him warningly, like he wanted to give him fish oil to make him appreciate the code again.

"And I was really hoping you could just take another kid and make him or her your chosen one. Then I could go home. Can't we find Rey and make her the chosen one? She seems to need it way more than I do. You can adopt her if you like."

* * *

 _ **KR: So you were really going to pin poor Rey on him? How selfish can you be?**_

 _But, I am right, she needs family! While I have a family, parents._

 _ **KR: That were never there for you...**_

 _Oh right..._

 _ **KR: And still are.**_

 _Oh yeah, then how come dad has been...taking care of me all day?_

 _ **KR: He just happened to pick you up along with the Falcon, he would never have gone out of his way to get you, even though your mother would have let him know you had returned...**_

 _So...he's just dropping me off to her, since I happened to be on his way...? Like I am some...extra delivery...? Some package to get rid off...?_

 _ **KR: Yes...he is really just happy to get the Falcon back and he can't wait to get rid of you...he doesn't want you back in his life, you have done nothing except make everything more complicated...he likes freedom...you are stealing it away from him...he doesn't like having to take care of you...all the time...just like in the past...**_

 _I...believe...you are right..._

* * *

"You think I'm doing this for myself?" Luke gaped and gazed at him incredulously.

Ben shrugged. "I didn't ask to be the chosen one."

"You really believe that your parents wanted this...or I..? Not, that I don't like to have you. You're my family." He smiled, like the word family gave him happiness.

"Well, I don't want to be here. I have nothing against you personally, I just don't like it here." Ben pouted.

* * *

 _ **KR: Hah, nothing against you personally...what a liar...**_

 _I didn't hate him back then...I think..._

 _ **KR: You hate him now?**_

 _Kind of...especially if he did something to my Rey...I mean he didn't allow me to get her! It's his fault she has been waiting all these years...alone!_

 _ **KR: So why can't I kill him?**_

 _Mom and dad wouldn't like that...I mean I don't like that! I don't think Rey would like that..._

 _ **KR: What if...he tried to kill you...?**_

 _He did try that...couple of times...but that was an accident..._

 _ **KR: I mean...for real...**_

 _For real...? Why would he do that? I wasn't a threat at that time. Well, then I would just get the...away and tell on him to mom and dad. They would deal with him...I hope..._

 _ **KR: That's no fun...**_

* * *

"Oh...then you are just going to leave me alone with Rey...? I thought you loved her..." Luke smirked and crossed his arms, as he had already defeated him in mental battle.

Ben stiffened. "Erm..."

* * *

 _ **KR: Wow, he really trapped you there...**_

 _Shit!_

* * *

"I can come for visits...and we have some connection where I don't even have to be in the same place to see her," said Ben quickly and looked far ahead, as if he was expecting to see Rey appear in the room. A small part of the moonlight peered through the curtains.

* * *

 _Oooh, that would be cool!_

 _ **KR: Yeah. Very convenient. I would like that.**_

* * *

"And we can touch through it." Ben smiled and reached out with his hand as if Rey was there, to reach out to him. He met the light.

* * *

 _NICE!_

 _ **KR: I wonder if that is possible...I have to check the old texts...**_

* * *

"What...that some fantasy you have there." His uncle glanced at where Ben was staring, as if he was expecting to see her, but when he saw there was nothing except his hand that was bathed in moonlight, he just shook his head and pulled the curtain close.

The light vanished, leaving Ben in complete darkness. He frowned in anger, that his uncle shattered his illusion of Rey like that. "No it's not. It's real. Forcebond," he said forcefully, as if by speaking out loud about it, it would make it become real.

He pulled the curtain open with the force and reached out again, but his uncle's stern voice broke his concentration once more. "They don't work like that...I think...stop talking and go to sleep." Luke closed the curtain again.

"I think I read about it in some ancient book," mumbled Ben, as he tried to recall it and tried to open the curtain again, but Luke grabbed his hand.

"Where on Tatooine did you get an ancient book? Please stop blabbering and go to sleep. Why are you always so stubborn...? Sigh, I guess it's in your genes. I was wondering...have you ever wanted to have golden locks?" He touched his black hair.

"What no...why?" Ben jolted from his touch as if electricity had shot through him.

"It's more fitting for Ben Skywalker." Luke continued petting his head.

"I'm Solo-Organa..." Ben glared at him and bat his hand away.

"Of course I know that. I'm sorry, my bad...just have a lot on my mind...and so exhausted...you hair looked so bright in the moonlight earlier...so exhausted...my dream kid had a blond hair..." said Luke sadly and gazed far away.

"Anything I can do to help? I can put on a wig..."

* * *

 _ **KR: You want to be his son?**_

 _No...but maybe he would treat me better if I pretended to be..._

 _ **KR: Pretended...right.**_

 _What's that supposed to mean?_

 _ **KR: You will see. Besides I already wore a blond wig, when I was Matt the Radar technician.**_

 _I had forgotten about that!_

 _ **KR: Fun times...maybe I should do that again...**_

* * *

His uncle shook his own head and patted Ben's head. "Nah, just be yourself."

Ben pursued his lips. "Okay...I can do that." He was annoyed by the petting, but didn't object to it, as his uncle seemed to need it.

"And stop destroying stuff." Luke frowned at him sternly and patted him a bit harder.

Ben nodded, as he took that in. "I can also do that...can you stop petting me?" He pleaded.

"And obey me always." His uncle pinched his ear tightly for emphasis.

"I can try that..." Ben grimaced, rubbed his ear and pouted.

Luke frowned at him and shook a finger at him. "No try, just do. Do you want me to call your mother...so you can talk about what's bothering you, while I rest my weary head?" He looked at the desk, which contained the com-link.

"No," said Ben, despite all his earlier troubles of trying to get one and the fact he really needed to speak to someone, who wasn't trying to sleep. But he doubted there was anyone, that had any time for him. Except Rey, but she was most likely an infant, so she didn't count as someone he could talk to. Unless, he could keep dreaming about her. They were always talking in his dreams, but for most part he was the one comforting her. She was so lonely.

Luke was surprised by his rejection of the offer to speak to his mother, but didn't press. "Okay, fine then just go to sleep. I will watch over you. I will protect you...always. Get some sleep my little padawan. Love you, Ben Skywalker." He gave him a forehead kiss.

"Uncle, you are freaking me out a bit.." Ben wiped the kiss away.

"Oh sorry son..." Luke grinned and petted him.

"Stop calling me son. It's super annoying," said Ben through clenched teeth and swatted his hand away.

"I was just kidding, you looked so serious...I was just trying to lighten the mood. It was getting way too dark in here...and I'm tired...you are tired...hehe Ben Skywalker...my child..." He blinked him teasingly.

"Not funny and you really need to get your own kid," shot Ben back, as his mood darkened again.

"Maybe, but I will not break the Jedi code, not while I have you...son." He smiled at him.

"Uncle!" shouted Ben in warning and the room started to shake again in protest over his uncle's unfunny jokes.

* * *

 _ **KR: What a creep.**_

 _Hey, that's not nice to say. Luke was just fooling around...or did uncle really own some kid that he lost and I didn't know about...? Not just in some dream? Why is he acting like this...? Well stranger than normal..._

 _ **KR: Did he really break the Jedi code...? Interesting...**_

 _Then Rey can hardly be his...not even adopted. He would be pouring all his attention over her instead of me...right...? He said he would...or well both of us...or at least her and his stupid school..._

 _ **KR: Maybe he had to leave her for some reason...like your parents had to do...with you...**_

 _So what you are saying is that he and my parents let someone else raise their kids...?_

 _ **KR: Yeah.**_

 _So stupid...if that were the case, then Luke would've have let mom and dad raise Rey, not some stupid scavenger._

 _ **KR: Hmm...or maybe you are really his...he did have a thing for your mother...he keeps calling you Ben Skywalker...**_

 _Please not this again...it's not, it just because of his dream and could it be, that he doesn't even know of Rey's existence...? That she is in fact real? That he could just go and adopt her...?_

 _ **KR: Well...you might get some answers later...**_

 _I might...?_

* * *

 _Next up: A little darkside meltdown..._


	32. The (re)birth of Kylo Ren

_AN: UnknownSeven7, thanks as always for your great comments! :D Another (hopefully, kind of) swift update for you all! You guys rock! All my support to you, however you are doing! You are the best, remember that!_

 _Yeah, poor Ben, here he finally gets to vent a little...but maybe not in the most healthy way...but what else can a powerful (darkside) force user do? And he has been through a lot! And it's not over...:S_

 _There is plenty family fluff on the way (why else would I be writing this fic?!)...but first pain and angst! (and silliness...) Like the fact that com-links and holographic devices works like cell phones..._

 _I had to divide this chapter in two, but that means the next one is not too far away..._

* * *

Chapter thirty two - The (re)birth of Kylo Ren

The lights flickered on and off, as the whole office rumbled like in a great storm. Luke watched nervously, how all of his furnitures danced a hectic war dance on the already cracked floor, that ruptured even further in the earthquake like tantrum. The ancient Jedi relics were precariously close to fall to the ground and be shattered into pieces, lost forever. The ancient saber was about to be ripped of the wall and into Ben's outstretched and open palm.

"BEN! STOP!" Luke shouted over the loud creaking and squeaking noises and swatted his little hand away from reaching the deadly saber.

However that didn't make Ben stop. Instead he stared with heated intensity at his uncle. His brown soulful eyes had lost most of its colour and nearly become black, like the current state of his soul.

* * *

 _ **KR: So powerful!**_

 _We knew that..._

 _ **KR: Yeah, but...we haven't used that power in while. Why haven't you? With that power, we could easily take over the galaxy!**_

 _That's all you think about...?_

 _ **KR: With Vader!**_

 _Sigh..._

 _ **KR: I mean Rey!**_

 _That's...kind of nice..._

 _ **KR: Kind of! It's awesome!**_

 _We still have to get out of here..._

 _ **KR: Oh...right...or you can get that dream...right here...**_

 _Stop tempting me!_

* * *

"I was only kidding!" shouted Luke and waved his hands urgently amidst all the chaos. The smallest of his possessions twirled around his head, while the furniture stalked towards him with vengeance.

"Kidding...?!" Ben was in no mood for jokes. "Kidding about what...?" he asked dangerously.

"Everything," muttered his uncle out of corner of his mouth.

"Everything...?"

"Yes, I was kidding and...yet, I was not...son." Luke gave him a fearsome glare.

"Huh...?" Ben's eyes got their normal brown colour back, but he didn't stop force shaking the room, but slowed the rattling down a bit.

"I'm going to call you son..." Luke paused to make his next words more dramatic. "Until you stop being so stubborn and call your mother and talk to her, so I can get some sleep." He looked worried at the chaotic room and pushed away with his hand, the furnitures that surrounded him and were in attack mode.

His nephew finally stopped rattling the room, leaving them in darkness as the lights turned off and Luke managed to catch his precious things before they fell and broke on the floor.

Ben sat back on the sofa, with his arms and legs crossed and stuck his lower lip out in an angry pout. "It's not working." He was back to being a petulant child instead of a powerful force user. "I'm not going to call her."

* * *

 _I'm not a petulant child, you stupid narrator!_

 _ **KR: Then what are you...?**_

 _A...troubled one..._

 _ **KR: Hmm...**_

 _Hey! I have issues..._

 _ **KR: I know...I life here...remember...**_

 _You are a big part of them!_

 _ **KR: Hey...okay...maybe a little...**_

 _A LOT!_

* * *

"You will call her now." Luke waved one hand in front of his eyes to Jedi mind trick him, while his other hand was full of rescued stuff that had moved around the room.

"No," said Ben flatly and turned away from his uncle.

Luke huffed and scolded: "I told you to stop destroying my stuff." He walked over his desk, while navigating in the dark instead of turning on the lights.

"Sorry..." said Ben without meaning it.

"You really have to control your temper..." Luke hit his knee hard on his desk in the dark, which had moved considerably thanks to Ben's tantrum and he cursed furiously and jumped on one foot. "Fricking, holy Sith, Bantha's, kriffing...poodoo...by Obi's beard, Vader's Padawan, Padmé's dresses...!"

"And you have to control your words..." said Ben darkly.

"Ben..." said Luke in warning over the backtalk, as he glowered at the desk for being in his way. He rubbed his sore foot and pouted.

"Are you going to kill me now...?"

Luke whipped his head to him, shell shocked. He gazed at his nephew, who hung his head with a doomed expression.

"Of course not! Never think that..." His uncle bit his lip in shame while remembering and shouted: "It was an accident!" Luke flicked his fingers to turn on the lights, to light his way through the darkness and strode over to him to capture him off the sofa in a stuffy embrace. "I would never do that..." He ruffled his nephew's hair feverishly.

Ben pushed and kicked against his crushing hold. "Can't...breathe..."

"Oh...sorry..." Luke gave him a nervous smile, before releasing him back on the sofa and Ben gasped for breath.

He gave his uncle a death stare. "You could've have killed me!"

"Don't be so dramatic. A hug has never killed anyone..." Luke smiled and messed up his hair some more.

"A Chewie one could..." mumbled Ben and swatted his hand away to fix his hair.

"Chewie is always very careful..." said Luke, offended on the behalf of his friend and Ben's honorary uncle.

"More careful than you...that's for sure..." muttered Ben angrily under his breath, as his hair kept sticking up, no matter how much he tried to flatten it.

"Do you need another sleeping pill?" asked his uncle gently and put a hand on his head to help him keep his hair down.

"No," growled Ben, who gave up on trying to fix his hair, since he was going to get bed hair anyway.

"Are you sure...? I wonder why it hasn't worked yet...you did take it, right?" Luke opened his nephew's mouth, to check inside with a flashlight to make sure he wasn't hiding the pill there, even though he had already inspected it.

Ben snapped his mouth shut and glowered at his uncle. "I don't need another one." He pulled the blanket over him as he lay down on the sofa and faced to the wall.

"How about something to eat?"

"No." barked Ben.

"Are you sure, you don't want to call your mom?"

"Yes...she doesn't need to know about...any...of this..." Ben inspected the damage in the office and shivered in dread, while thinking of her scoldings, if she ever found out about him ruining his uncle's office or anything bad he had done.

"Fine by me...then go to sleep, my son." Luke turned off the lights and went to bed.

* * *

 _Hey, since we have already wrecked Luke's office, doesn't that mean the memory trip is finally over...?_

 _ **KR: You naive child, no. I told you...we wrecked it...with our saber...**_

 _WHAT?!_

 _ **KR: So much fun...**_

 _Always fun to use a saber...I mean oh no!_

 _ **KR: OH, YES!**_

 _Oh, no..._

* * *

"I can't believe dad didn't come...not even for a visit...that it was all just a dream...it felt so...real...so real...can't believe it...can't believe it..." Ben muffled in the dark and sobbed into his pillow.

"What are you mumbling about?" Luke sat up and turned on the lights again.

"Nothing."

"Sounded to me, like you were still thinking about that stupid dream. Why don't you just call your mother and put it out of your mind?"

"No, I'm not going to," said Ben stubbornly and snuggled more into the blanket.

"You can even talk about Rey..." said his uncle in a tempting voice, like he was offering him candy.

"No..." said Ben hesitantly like he didn't believe his own words.

"Okay fine, then try to sleep...son."

"Still not working."

"It was worth a try...son."

Ben huffed. "I would rather call dad, so I can go home and get my Rey."

* * *

 _Why the kriff, wasn't I allowed to just go home and get her? That's, what we both wanted! It sucks that we had to wait so many years for each other! And we still have to wait, because here I am, stuck inside my mind!_

 _ **KR: Yeah...poor Vader. Always waiting...for me...**_

 _You? No, poor us! I mean, me and Rey...especially Rey, having to be stuck on that stupid desert planet...alone. Waiting forever. It has nothing to with Vader!_

 _ **KR: It has everything to do with Vader! Why do you think Rey's life sucks so much? To pay for her crimes...in past life...**_

 _That's...a coincidence...and our life sucks as well...how do you explain that...?_

 _ **KR: So we could meet Vader...again...duh.**_

 _Rey, you mean...again? So we knew him...erm her in past life? Who were we in...past life...?_

 _ **KR: Someone...extremely special...to Vader...someone he did everything for...**_

 _Who? Not his mom?!_

 _ **KR: His mom...? The poor thing had to leave her, when he was nine and they didn't meet until ten years later and she died in his arms. Stupid sandpeople! I'm glad he killed them all. They were nothing but a nuance!**_

 _Erm...okay...? I still think he overreacted..._

 _ **Overreacted?! You wouldn't have done the same, if your mom was involved?**_

 _I would have blown up the planet!_

 _ **KR: See...?**_

 _Oh...erm...she better not find out about that...I doubt she would approve..._

 _ **KR: Like the fact, that one of the reasons you turned was to destroy the republic to revenge her...**_

 _And that...still you haven't answer...who were we...possibly in past life..? Obi Wan?_

 _ **KR: Obi...? Are you kidding me? Have you not been paying attention?! You think this is Obikin?**_

 _NO! But I mean...we are...I mean I am, named after him...kind of...or well his nickname...mom's only hope..._

 _ **KR: No, were are not stupid Obi. If you can't figure it out...I can't help you...to be fair...I'm not sure...**_

 _Oh, so you don't know it either..._

 _ **KR: No...I just know...he loves me the most...and that is all that matters...all that I need to know.**_

 _Maybe Rey knows...?_

 _ **KR: I doubt it...she doesn't even know who she is...or was...a pity really...**_

 _But, you didn't know who she was either..._

 _ **KR: That...was a mistake...**_

 _Plus, I don't believe that is the truth..._

 _ **KR: You only believe in things...that suit you...**_

 _Kind of..._

 _ **KR: That's the definition of an idiot...**_

 _Hey, you do the same!_

 _ **KR: Do I?**_

* * *

"I thought you hated your father." said his uncle. "For what he said."

Ben sat up in shock and shook his head vigorously in denial. "NOOO! I don't hate him. I just demoted him...and it was kind my fault...I shouldn't have taken the Falcon it was a stupid mistake...I know he loves the ship...more than me..." He exhaled a long suffering sigh. "Of course he does..."

"He does not love the ship more than you. Don't ever think that. Don't you remember? He gave you the toy Falcon so you could look at that and always remember..." lectured his uncle, but he froze in mid-speech as if he had said too much.

"What toy Falcon? I thought it was just a dream." Ben stared in confusion at Luke, who nodded stiffly.

"It was."

"How do you know what he said to me in a dream...?" asked Ben suspiciously and glowered at his uncle, as if he was hiding something from him.

"You told me...he said that," replied Luke at once.

"I did not tell you that," spat Ben.

"Yes, you did. You just forgot," said Luke firmly and shot him a look, that said, I know best.

"I forgot...?" Ben looked at him bewildered and Luke nodded and used his teacher-voice.

"Yes, this dream was to symbolise your fear. You think he loves that ship more than you and the dream told you, he does not."

"But it was just that...a dream," said Ben sadly.

"Yes, but he definitely still thinks that way, even though you tried to steal his ship. You are just a child, you are allowed to make mistakes. He, on the other hand, should know better. He shouldn't have said you are not his child and that he doesn't care what you do. Not even...if he meant Kylo. You don't talk to a child that way...or anyone for that matter. Especially not your own child." He gazed at him seriously.

"You don't...?"

Luke shook his head with stern frown. "Never. In fact, what he should've said is..." He took a deep breath and looked deeply into Ben's eyes. "You are my son and I will always love you no matter what."

His heartfelt gaze lingered on him for some time, until Ben broke it, by scoffing and crossing his arms. "Well, he didn't. And he would never say something as soppy as that."

Luke looked down and bit his lip like he was about to cry. "Well...that was his...biggest mistake...good night son." He turned off the lights and lay back down on his mattress.

* * *

 _ **KR: I think your uncle is taking this way harder than you...and he tried to kill you...a multiple times...by accident...or so he says...**_

 _Yeah...I mean when I think about it, dad often says stupid things...he was just...angry...and afraid? Right? He didn't mean it...he was speaking about you. He was probably just trying to teach me a lesson or something...about responsibility...for my actions...still weird that he never came...it felt so...real...and nice...or does he really love the ship more than me? Really...?_

 _ **KR: Of course he does. Like you said yourself, it was too nice...like the nice world I made for you...where every one of your wishes could come true.**_

 _I SAID! Stop tempting me!_

 _ **KR: I'm just speaking the truth...**_

* * *

"Say, if you had a son..." said Ben conversationally.

"Ben, you really need to sleep. You are just stalling now and you need to rest. I also need to rest," muttered Luke annoyed as he tried to zone out his nephew to get his much needed rest.

"What would you say to him...?"

"Say to him?" Luke turned to him.

"Or her...if it was daughter...to let her know you loved him...or her...? Always...? To make sure they would always know that..."

"Simple, I would just say that I loved him...or her every day. Like I say to you, son. Now, stop overthinking everything. Sleep now. Love you. Good night." His uncle turned back on his side to catch some sleep.

"Every day...?" said Ben surprised, as if it was the hardest thing in the galaxy.

Luke groaned when Ben couldn't let the topic drop. He turned on the lights and went to fetch something in the mini fridge in his desk, which was now by his side, thanks to the force moving earlier. "Yes, every single day...since as a parent it's your job to protect your child...or children...also your surrogates one, sons and daughters, from the dangers of the world." He pulled out and opened up a bag of jonga fruits.

* * *

 _ **KR: I haven't seen you...you Anti-Vader, appreciate Vader, who sacrificed himself for you...the greatest dad and grandad ever!**_

 _But before that, he had chopped Luke's hand off...and tortured his own daughter..._

 _ **KR: He didn't know she was his daughter! And come on, losing a hand is a Skywalker family tradition...for boys...**_

 _I haven't lost a hand and I don't plan to!_

 ** _KR: WIMP!_**

 _Hey...so what you are saying is, that Vader wouldn't have tortured my mom if he knew she was his daughter?_

 ** _KR: Of course not, he would never hurt his own child! Oh wait...erm...I mean...at least I wouldn't...would I...?_**

 _You don't have children, stop with that stupid roleplaying._

 ** _KR: It's not stupid!_**

 _And what about what he did to dad?_

 _ **KR: He might not have tortured Leia if he knew who she was...but he would definitely have put your father in carbonite to keep her safe from him...so that would probably stay the same...you just know he would be that overprotective dad...he will always go as far as possible to protect his family...even it means killing them...**_

 _Poor dad can't catch a break...wait...what?! Killing them?!_

 _ **KR: And you can't have everything...and really that was just to toughen them up a bit...no one of them died...except grandad! He died protecting stupid Luke! Can you believe that? Why didn't Luke just join his dad, like a good little boy...why did he have to be so...naughty? Why didn't Vader ground him? I would have done that. He was way too lenient...**_

 _Lenient_ _! He chopped of his hand!_

 _ **KR: And Leia she was no better...but at least she didn't know the truth until much later...so I can't really blame her...**  
_

 _Erm...a parent should always protect their child..._

 _ **KR: I died in childbirth for my stupid children...and how did the reward me? By betraying me!**_

 _What...you had children...? Since when...? Betray...? The roleplaying again...?! Stop it!_

 _ **KR: I have no idea why I just said that...**_

 _Then stop talking...please..._

 _ **KR: Yeah...it's for the best.**_

* * *

"Like your father and mother did...by sending you here." Luke handed him a fruit from the bag. "Eat this, it will make you feel better."

"So they sent me here? To protect me...? From myself?" Ben accepted and inspected the jonga fruit in his hand, as if he was expecting to find answers in it.

* * *

 _ **KR: Wow you are deeper as a child than an adult.**_

 _Shut up._

* * *

"Eat."

Ben took a bite.

"You could say that...or rather the darkside dwelling inside of you...and threat that is looming over you. However in a way it was partly your father's fault, you nearly turned in the first place."

"How so...? I was the one who stole..." said Ben with a full mouth.

"Don't talk with your mouth full, you could choke. I meant, because of his words. Your dad probably hates himself for saying those things...that was so easily misunderstood by his precious child. I would..."

* * *

 _Dude you left your...future...adopted daughter on some rock!_

 _ **KR: We don't know that...adopted? Future...?**_

 _I told you we are not related...at least not in this life...hey do you think he left Rey on Jakku, because he knew...or well thought she was Vader?_

 ** _KR: What? How would Luke...if he did that, then I swear I will cut him down with my saber!_**

 _I thought you were going to do that anyway...?_

 _ **KR: I would do it very, very slowly...**_

 _Eep..._

 ** _KR: But, I don't really believe that he had any idea about that...he is kind of dumb...your uncle...unlike supersmart Vader!_**

 _Vader..supersmart...? I would never call him..._

 ** _KR: I wouldn't say anything more if I were you! You would be insulting Rey as well..._**

 _I would not...I would never..._ _but it's definitely Luke's fault that Rey ended up on Jakku._

 ** _KR: How?_**

 _Like he could've done it without even knowing it...or her mother could have left her there...for erm...reasons..._

 _ **KR: Then, that's not his fault...**_

 _Yes, it is, from a certain point of view...everything is his fault!_

 _ **KR: I guess I can't argue with that...with him being my enemy and all...stupid Luke...**_

 _He probably got the idea to dump her on Jakku because of my dream!_

 _ **KR: Then technically it's your fault.**_

 _Oh...no..._

* * *

"I hope, I haven't said or done anything you misunderstood...?" asked Luke, as Ben devoured the jonga fruit.

"You have done nothing, but that." Ben threw away the core, annoyed.

"Oh, sorry...son." His uncle caught the core in a waste bin and handed him another fruit from the bag.

Ben glares at him and takes a bite. "It's still not working."

Luke slapped him playfully on the back. "Just call her already!"

The fruit from Ben's hand dropped dramatically to the ground and rolled on the floor.

"Ben...?"

Ben grabbed his throat in sheer panic, as he couldn't breathe.

Blue eye's widened when Luke saw he was choking and Luke stared in horror at his hand." "Oh, no please don't die on me! Leia would kill me!" He grabbed Ben firmly around the chest to get the bite out that was blocking his airway.

* * *

 _That's all he cares about...not me dying..but just that mom would kill him? Though that would be the sweetest revenge, making her kill him for trying to kill me!_

 _ **KR: Wow...dark...me like...I mean like me...but we didn't die...**_

 _Thankfully not! Or I would never have met my Rey!_

 _ **KR: Or I...Vader...again...**_

 _Yeah, can you imagine, Us never meeting Rey because Luke was such a horrible guardian, that he killed us!_

 _ **KR: Vader would've killed him...or...wait...I'm not sure...maybe just become very, very sad...he doesn't kill as much anymore...maybe he would've have died...this time of sadness!**_

 _You can do that...?_

 _ **KR: I'm not sure...but that's the only death I accept for my Vader!**_

* * *

The bite flew out of Ben's mouth in majestically arch and ended up on the floor, all covered in spit.

Ben heaved and Luke rubbed his back after the successful rescue.

"Ben, are you okay...?"

* * *

 _ **KR: First you are Sleeping Beauty and now you are Snow White, what's next? Cinderella?**_

 _I'm a guy._

 _ **KR: You could've fooled me...and who says guys can't be princesses?**_

 _Okay fine, if you want me to be a princess...Rey will be my prince._

 _ **KR: Of course she will.**_

 _Then I'm happy..._

 _ **KR: In this world...**_

* * *

Ben stiffened, grabbed his throat like he was being choked and shook his head violently. "No, no!" He fell dramatically into his uncle's arms with his eyes closed.

* * *

 _What the...again...?_

 _ **KR: Huh...? How...?**_

* * *

"BEN!" shouted Luke in panic and tried to shake him awake.

Ben eyes snapped open and held a faraway look in them. He started screaming his lungs out with inhuman scream, like his life was being drained away by some invisible force, startling his uncle greatly. Tear streamed down his cheeks, as he twisted and arched his back in great pain.

In spite of his panic, Luke had the sense to quickly make sure that there was nothing really harming Ben through the force and when he saw it was all in his head and he couldn't really fight it, he held tightly onto him in comfort, as Ben went through whatever it was he was going through. He soothed him like he was newborn baby, by rocking him in his arm, rubbing his back and whispering in soft voice to him, that he was going to be okay.

At last the screaming stopped. Ben looked spent, sweat was glistening on his face like after a great workout and he touched his uncle's face tenderly. "Luke..." He looked to the side as if he was expecting to see his mother standing close by and smiled sadly at her. "Leia..."

"Ben...?" Luke looked even more clueless. "What's going on...?"

Ben turned to him. "There is still good in him...I know it..." His hands fall on his side with a dramatic flair and he closed his eyes, like he was dead.

* * *

 _What the...?_

 _ **KR: That was some creepy shit...and familiar...**_

 _Familiar...? Oh no...I also roleplayed that shit as a kid!_

 ** _KR: Roleplayed...? Dude, why would roleplay this...? Did you even know about the details of how your grandmother died...or her final words? I didn't, until I spoke with Vader...I think...or was it before...?  
_**

 _I don't...know...anything..._

* * *

"Ben, who are you talking about?" Luke shook him lightly. "What game are you playing...? Ben, cut the crap...did you pass out? You are stone cold!" He checked his breathing and pulse and was relieved to find that both was working, but not satisfied. "Okay, that's, it. I'm calling your mother," His uncle put him gently down on the mattress, put a pillow under his feet to help his blood flow, opened up a drawer and took out a holographic device.

A ringing sounded through it and after ringing for a while, a little blue glowing child appeared on top of it. It rapped in a bright and cheery voice and danced to the beat.

I'm pickin' up my blaster, puttin' it on my side

I'm jumpin' in my Falcon, Wookie at my side

I'm Solo, I'm Han Solo

I'm Han Solo, I'm Han Solo, Solo

Yeah

I'm Han Solo, I'm Han Solo, Solo

* * *

 _ **KR: Is that you...singing...and dancing?**_

 _Groan...I can't believe she was using that! I was four years old! Lando recorded this for dad's birthday...I'm so embarrassed..._

 _ **KR: Who wrote the lyrics..?**_

 _I did...unca...I mean uncle Lando wrote the song...and choreographed the dance...to mock dad..I think, but dad loved it, which I'm glad for, since I wasn't trying to mock dad..at that time...it was to honour him...why the kriff does that kriffing thing still exists!_

 _ **KR: So your...obsession with your father at that time, was so much that, you wanted to be him...?**_

 _HEY! I was four years old! And it's all about Rey now...except I want to be with her not be her, just like how you only think about Vader._

 _ **KR: You mean Rey.**_

 _I...no! You stay away from her!_

* * *

Little Ben's dancing and singing form disappeared and his mother's voice sounded hollow as a prerecorded message started to play: " _I'm sad to announce that I'm not available right now, but I'm most likely in a meeting concerning the future of the galaxy, so in way I'm working for your future, so really you shouldn't be too let down over me not being able to take your call right now. However, if it something more pressing that the future of the galaxy, say like something concerning my family, not that's more important the future of the galaxy, but it's important to me, though of course the galaxy comes first, since my family lives there. Not, that it's just important because of that! But I love my family..and the galaxy. Please, leave a message after the beep and will contact you as soon a possible. Thank you. May the force be with you, always. Beep!"_

* * *

 ** _KR: Protecting the galaxy always comes first for her..._**

 _Of course it does..._

 ** _KR: Ruling the galaxy (in the future) comes first for me. That's kind of the same thing, right?_**

 _IS NOT! And Rey come first for me..._

 ** _KR: Oops, I forgot that Vader is of course in my first place!_**

 _You forgot...?_

 ** _KR: SHAME ON ME!_**

* * *

"Leia! You have to help me. Ben has gone mad! Please contact me!" shouted Luke desperately into the device in his hand, as if his screaming would somehow reach Leia faster and added. "I don't want to use our mind-link in case...I know you are in a meeting...please just...call me." He looked at Ben, who was still passed out on his mattress. "I will try to reach your dad in meantime..."

"You don't have his number..." mumbled Ben, like in his sleep.

"Are you back...?" asked Luke hopeful.

"STUPID ANI! I didn't betray you! Obi-Wan did! He snuck on onboard!" thundered Ben and slapped into the air. "I would never betray you!" After that announcement he fell limp back, like he was a droid that had been turned on to deliver only one message.

* * *

 _Ani...?  
_

 _ **KR: Rey.**_

 _Will you stop putting your inverse/reverse anidala theory into my memories!_

 _ **KR: Dude, I'm not doing anything! Anidala...?**_

 _Anakin + Amidala, you know Padmé Amidala._

 _ **KR: That was just my queen's title, I was Naberrie...**_

 _I know that...SHUT UP! You are going down a path I cannot follow!_

 _ **KR: Huh...?**_

 _I have no idea, why just said that._

 _ **KR: I need a drink.**_

 _Me too..._

 _ **KR: And I'm sorry...I have no idea what it's happening to me...it feels like I'm changing...**_

 _Changing...into what? Is this...Snoke's doing...?_

 _ **KR: Possibly...**_

 _Is he sending us those...visions...? In the past...and is he the one trapping us here...?_

 _ **KR: I wish I knew...**_

 _Kriffing...!_

* * *

"Clearly not...Obi-wan?" Luke lifted his brows high in a surprise, but shook his head as he had other pressing things to think about, then Ben's inane ramblings.

"But I could try his old one...maybe it still works." He looked sneakily at a paper, like he was afraid of spy finding out Han's number or even Ben, but Ben was passed out so it was a needless worry. He punched in the numbers and waited with a bated breath. He glanced at Ben, as if he was expecting him to move but Ben still lay frozen like he was dead. A ringing sound started.

"It's working! It's working!" Luke shouted victoriously when the ringing came through, but his face fell when the little holo child Ben appeared again and started singing and dancing, signalling this was going straight to voice mail.

I'm Solo. I'm Han Solo...

* * *

 _The kriff! Dad was using it too..._

 _ **KR: Interesting...out of everything, he changed it into this...**_

 _No, he has never been up to date with the newest things. Lando must have changed it to tease him...there is no way he would have put this on purpose...I mean he doesn't really care...about me...he send me away...why would he want to be reminded of me...and this atrocity!_

 _ **KR: Maybe he chose it, because he has such a big ego...**_

 _Hmm...maybe..._

* * *

 _His father's voice suddenly sounded through a pre-recorded message: "Can't talk! I'm travelling through hyperspace and on the run from some bounty hunters! Nah, kidding...not doing anything illegal or dangerous, Leia. Love you. Love you, kid. Please, leave a message after the beeb. BEEB."_

* * *

 _Kid...? He called mom a kid...?_

 _ **KR: Or your uncle...he's definitely not addressing you...since you know, are his kid...**_

 _Me...? Why would he do that...? Why would he expect me to call him...?_

 _ **KR: I wonder...**_

 _No help as usual..._

 _ **KR: I'M TRYING MY BEST HERE!**_

 _Do or do not...there in no try._

 _ **KR: SHUT UP!**_

* * *

"Han, you have to help me! Ben has gone mad! I already contacted Leia, but she was busy. Please, I need your help," begged Luke, like he was hoping that Han would pick up at any minute, but when the blue glow disappeared, he sighed in defeat and looked over at Ben. "I really hope they will get in contact soon..."

He filled a wash basin with water and washed the sweat and tears of Ben with a washcloth. "You better wake up, Ben..."

As the first ice cold drops fell on his eyelids, Ben's eyes snapped open and he gulped in deep breaths, like he had been underwater.

"Ben!" Luke gathered him in a crushing hug. "You are alife!"

"Let go of me..." said Ben through clenched teeth, as he had trouble breathing once more and tried to push his uncle away, but then felt that he couldn't move.

"Sorry..." His uncle put him gently on the mattress. "How are you feeling?" He finished washing his face and hands and Ben, who could do nothing, could only hear him wrung the washcloth in the washbasin, before putting it away.

"I can't move..." said Ben scared, as tried to move his arms and feet, which both felt like they had been anchored to the mattress. "What is happening to me...?" Even his head felt like it weighed a ton. His eyes could only stare into the ceiling.

"Don't worry, you will feel better in a minute," his uncle's hands hovered over his chest and blue glow emitted from them.

"What happened to me...?" said Ben and managed with great difficulty to turn his pupils towards him as he healed him.

"Don't worry about that, just rest."

"But..."

"No talking..." said his uncle sternly, as he moved his hands all over his body, without touching him.

Ben obeyed, as it was hard for him to do otherwise.

* * *

 _What happened?!_

 ** _KR: That's a great question..._**

 _Do you have an answer?_

 ** _KR.: I don't know...Snoke...? I mean the supreme leader...?_**

 _Snoke? Wouldn't Luke have...felt it?_

 ** _KR: Luke? Nah..._**

 _What was that...? I don't remember this..._

 ** _KR: You don't...? What a surprise...NOT!_**

 _Did you?_

 ** _KR: It's...complicated..._**

 _Huh?_

* * *

"Can you move...?" asked Luke after some time, but when Ben was trying to rise up, he held him down. "Gently, don't go too fast."

Ben clenched his fist with one hand and then other. He wrinkled his toes and tried to lift up his hands and make them fall down on the mattress. He did the same thing with his feet. He felt foolish, but at least he could move again.

Luke beamed and ruffled his hair: "Welcome back."

"Back...?" Ben turned his head towards him. The movement were slow, but manageable.

"To life..." announced his uncle with a broad smile, like there was nothing creepy about that statement.

Ben took those words in. Subconsciously he grasped at his neck and gasped as the memory came flooding back. "YOU TRIED TO KILL ME!" He jumped up on the mattress with some supernatural strength, compared to before and swung his fists out in punch.

"No, it was an accident!" Luke grabbed him in a tight hug, so he wouldn't overexert himself and scolded: "Calm yourself!"

"You have tried to drown me, stab me with a saber, suffocate me and poison me!" Ben tried in vain to hit at least one punch on his uncle. When that didn't work, he tried to kick him in his hold, but Luke only tightened his grip on him and rocked him in his arms to try to calm him down, like he was wailing toddler, but not a murderous child...who wanted to kill him.

"Poison...?" asked his uncle confused and stopped rocking him.

"The fish oil..." muttered Ben, as he gave up on fighting his uncle.

"Oh...that wasn't a poison." Luke shook his head and put his, now considerably calmer nephew, back on the sofa.

"So you admit to all the others...?" said Ben in attorney's like voice and acted like Luke was in front of court on a murder-trial.

Luke's blue eyes widened in fright over the accusations. "It was an accident! And most of it was due to your own mistakes! I didn't do any...or well most of those!" he pleaded for his innocence.

"For a place that's supposed to keep me safe, sure has been a danger zone!" shouted Ben merciless.

"IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!"

* * *

 _ **KR: It protects people from you...**_

 _Me...?_

 _ **KR: You are too powerful...and dangerous...that's why your parents send you away...just look at what you did to your uncle's office...**_

 _Oh..._

 _ **KR: And he's a Jedi...you think a former senator and smuggler can defeat you? I know from an experience that a senator can't do squat against a darkside user! That's instant game over!**_

 _Of course are senators helpless against force users, they are not force sensitive...or well my mom is...but she's not trained...and what do you mean defeat me...? Why would they want to do that...?_

 _ **KR: You are their enemy.**_

 _I wasn't at that time! I'm not their enemy today! Not anymore..._

 _ **KR: Really...? You think you can just get away with everything, with just a slap on the wrist?**_

 _I hope so..._

 _ **KR: What a child...**_

 _I don't care, as long as...Rey is in the picture..._

 _ **KR: As Vader...**_

 _She's not...!_

 _ **KR: Not in this world...**_

 _Huh...?_

* * *

"I want to go home and get my Ani Rey!" whined Ben and kicked his feet out, like she was his favourite ice cream or at least that is how Luke treated it, as he gave him a stern look and wiggled a finger at him.

"Stop that. You can't go home. You know that. When your mom calls back, you really should talk to her about your...visions...I mean...those you just had earlier. Sounded serious to me...drink." His uncle gave him a water bottle from the fridge.

"What visions...?" Ben blinked in confusion, as he gulped down the drink.

"You don't remember?" His uncle sat up, surprised.

Ben shook his head and wiped his mouth.

* * *

 _What the...if I don't remember, why do I have memory about this...?_

 _ **KR: Think about it, we have been watching all of this unfold in third person. Meaning, these are something more than your memories...**_

 _Oh...that must mean Snoke is behind this...all this...confusion..._

 _ **KR: Sounds like him...or the...force...**_

 _Why would the force want to trap me inside my memories...? Or confuse me in the past?_

 _ **KR: I don't know how the force works...it just does, okay...trust the force...**_

 _But what if, it's Snoke...?_

 _ **KR: Then trust Snoke.**_

 _NEVER!_

 _ **KR: So difficult...**_

* * *

"Okay, that's probably for the best. Then just talk to her about whatever is on your mind..." He patted him on the back.

"She's not going to call back," said Ben miserably as he clutched the water bottle. "She's too...busy..." He threw the bottle away in anger.

Luke caught the bottle before it shattered on the wall and put it on his desk. "Of course she will...I was very desperate. She can't ignore that..." and he added like it was an afterthought. "And she loves you, kid...very much." He handed him a safe plastic cup, so he couldn't break it, but Ben didn't accept it.

"I don't want to talk to her. If she call back, tell her I am asleep." He lay back on the sofa, pulled the blanket over himself and hid under it.

"What about your father?"

"I don't want to talk to either of them," mumbled Ben under his fortress.

"What...why?"

"I'm not going to talk to them, until I can go home again...and pick up Rey."

"Ben...that's a bit harsh. A talking strike...? That will never work." Luke pulled the blanket slowly to uncover him from his hiding place. "Please just talk to either of them or both when they call. You need it, they need you." He handed him the plastic up.

Ben flung the blanket off and sat up in rage. "They are always way too busy for me, why can't I be way too busy for them?!" He grabbed the cup and threw that away. It spilled water all over the floor, but otherwise did no damage.

Luke exhaled in relief that there was no glass shards, but frowned at Ben from his temper. "That's not very wise..."

* * *

 _Oh...o..._

 _ **KR: I see, so you were also giving them the cold shoulder. You neglected them...**_

 _I guess...they kind of deserved it..._

 _ **KR: So naughty...**_

 _HEY! I'm not naughty! I mean I wasn't...isn't...!_

 _ **KR: You still haven't wrecked your uncle's office for real...in this memory, you know...**_

 _KRIFF!_

* * *

 _Next up: A little darkside meltdown..._

 _The Han Solo song is real (and infamous) and appeared in Star Wars Kinect game in 2012. You can google it for the rest of the lyrics. ;) I have been dying to include that gem somewhere! And it will be visited again later...;)_

 _In my story Balatik is forcesensetive. ;) which will be important in the sequel..._


	33. Kylo Ben's tantrum

_AN: Thanks for the support! You guys all rock! UnknownSeven7, thanks as always for your wonderful words! They sure keep me writing!_

 _To answer your question, my story is very meta-like, meaning it very self-aware that it is a Star Wars story (which I think the Sequel trilogy is as well and I love it!) so yeah most of the references are done on purpose (maybe there are some I have unknowingly added, that's just a plus). I mostly know all of the movies (seen them all so many times and love them all! No hate and in general!) and read some of the books in the new canon. I haven't got into the tv series yet, but I love to add things I have read about if it fits and I read alot about Star Wars, since both it's my greatest passion and I'm an editor for a fan page in my homeland - so I "need" to know about this stuff ;), which is great! Hope you enjoy these silly references!_

 _This will be a double chapter, since I had to divide it, so the next update will follow shortly after. Those uncle-nephew chapters keep getting away from me. :S This...super complicated family-master/padawan relationship...it's too much fun to write...with too much sadness though...and darkness (from both nephew and uncle! Luke is not innocent!)!_

 _So here is more battle of wills between little Ben and Luke...except it's about to get into a more...physical fighting...mini darkside Ben/Kylo...and "darkside" Luke? Who will win? Wait, what are they fighting for? :S And has Kylo...completely lost it? And what about poor Ben...? And where does Rey fit into all this silly but also seriousness? In this_ angsty (but fun) _family DRAMA..._

* * *

Chapter thirty three - Kylo Ben's tantrum

"I mean, I will not talk to them, until I can get my Rey and go home. They are too busy for me anyway," spat Ben and glared at the holoviewer on the desk, like he knew for a fact it wouldn't ring back. At least not, when he needed them most. Needed their help...to get to Rey.

"Ben...I can tell you right away, that your mom won't like it." His uncle picked up the tossed blanket from the floor and wrapped it around Ben's shoulders, to make sure he wouldn't get cold.

"But...dad will?" whispered Ben, who took the edges of the blanket and held it like he was wearing a cape, to ward off the cold in his soul as well as his small body.

"No, but he won't be as vocal about it...are you sure you want to risk angering your mom? Even for some...girl..." Luke frowned at him, like he couldn't believe that he would dare risk it. He picked up the fruit, that had nearly killed Ben, threw it in a waste bin and picked up his precious Jedi relics. He breathed in relief when saw they were unbroken despite having dropped them to the floor and put them back in their places.

"Come on, that's not fair. They left me here and now I can't chose whether or not I want to talk with them...I'm furious!" Ben jumped off the sofa, with the blanket swooping behind him like a big majestic cape.

"But, they did it to protect you. Return to bed." Luke pointed at the sofa, as he finished putting the relics away, but Ben of course, disobeyed him and ran toward the lightsaber, the one hanging on wall behind the desk to play with it or take with him for his trip to get to Rey.

"It's not a bed. It's a sofa." Ben said snidely as he reached for the saber with his hands.

"No backtalk!" His uncle stormed after him. "No, touching that saber! I'm warning you!"

"There must have been another way!" Before Ben could so much as touch the forbidden saber, his uncle was right behind him ready to snatch him up, but thankfully Ben managed to dodge in time. To avoid being captured, he ran under the desk and used the force to put a bookshelf to hide behind it. A perfect book wall between himself and his furious uncle. He wouldn't dare harming the books to get to him.

"Come out, now." growled his uncle, even though he could easily use the force to move the whole bookshelf away, but was either too tired or hoping that his naughty nephew would just give up and surrender to him already.

"No."

"Ben, you better start obeying me or I will call your parents...again..." threatened Luke, as he removed books and other stuff from the shelf and put them on the floor, to reach through it.

"Hah, what an empty threat. You will never reach them!" said Ben under the desk, but yelped when Luke's big arms suddenly appeared and pulled him roughly through. The makeshift cape got left behind in his fortress, as it fell dramatically to the ground.

"You are going to sleep...this minute...or so help me." His uncle carried him back to the sofa, all the while Ben trashed desperately in his hold to escape from him.

"No! I'm too angry to sleep!" he shouted and to confirm his words, his teeth sunk deep into the soft flesh of Luke's hand he could reach.

"OW! You bit me..." whined his uncle and waved his hand like that would get rid of the intense burn and looked between the bite marks and his suddenly feral nephew. "I can't believe you did that..." He looked hurt, both physically but mostly mentally.

"Why did you do that?" he scolded, but still held firm onto him.

"Let go of me!" demanded Ben in a dark voice and kicked him hard in the knee.

Luke owed and carried and dropped him unceremoniously, back on the sofa. "I wasn't asking. Sleep now or..." He glowered at him like he wanted to throttle him or drug him with sleeping pills or even tie him up, but settled on finding a new blanket from the closet and tucking him tightly in.

"Or what?" Ben sprung from his confines and sat up with a daring and dark look, "come and fight me," despite having crossed the line way too many times already.

Promptly his uncle reached over and swatted him with his unbitten hand.

"Ow! You hurt me!" Ben pouted, his dark look gone and instead replaced with a sad little boy, who rubbed his stinging backside. "I can't believe you did that..."

"You hurt me. I hurt you back." snapped Luke at him and showed him the hand he had bit, before he started healing it.

"I don't agree with that logic..." mumbled Ben and looked straight at the saber hanging on the wall, which he needed to defend himself in case there were further attacks.

"No, back talk," said Luke as he focused on healing his hand and didn't see what his nephew was looking at, or he would have given him a way harsher scolding.

"Stupid uncle..." muttered Ben under his breath, but didn't try to reach for the saber, despite how much he wanted it since he was afraid of his uncle's reaction.

* * *

 _ **KR: Stupid Luke.**_

 _Stupid Luke._

* * *

"I have had enough of your attitude. Don't let me resort to force..." warned Luke and shook a finger at him, with his healed hand.

"You are a Jedi, of course you will use the force." replied Ben snidely.

"I didn't mean it like that...I would never harm you..." he corrected himself when thinking of Ben's near deaths and accidents of the last days. "On purpose...please just behave." his uncle ruffled his hair.

"Why should I?" shot Ben back.

Without taking his hand of his head, Luke leaned a few inches from his face and growled in a dangerous voice. "Look son, if you are ever going to earn your lightsaber you have to take care of your health, train well, follow all of my rules, obey me always...which reminds me, you still have an essay to finish." He looked at the desk where the notebook was kept, as if he had changed his mind about letting Ben finishing it tonight.

"No." Ben shook his head in a hard negative, still under Luke's hand. He was longer in any mood to write an essay about Rey, he wanted the real thing.

Luke snapped his head towards him. "No? Ben, I'm your master. You're supposed to treat me with respect."

"You are not my master!" He swatted his uncle's hand off his head, like it was poisonous.

* * *

 _ **KR: He's right, Luke is not our master. Vader is.**_

 _Not Snoke...?_

 _ **KR: Snoke...? He's just...temporary. Wait, we could be Vader's master in this life...since he needs to learn about the force again...I hadn't thought of that...that's sounds hot.**_

 _Eeeh...?_

 _ **KR: Except poor Vader used to be a slave...I doubt he wants call anyone ever again, his master...and he doesn't have to...he can call us...his teacher...or his love...**_

 _I really like the love part...with Rey..._

 _ **KR: Of course you do... ;)**_

 _?_

* * *

"What...? I dare you to say that again and you will spent the night in a corner." Luke pointed at the corner where he had spend some time earlier. "With an sore end," he added the last bit in a Sith-like voice, which made Ben go cold with fear.

He was way more scared of his uncle's anger then his words, since it could be so unpredictable, as in "what if Luke decided he was too much to handle and would get rid off him, permanently?" Ben started shivering as he relived the moment when he nearly got impaled by Luke's saber by an accident last night. The only thing that kept him from spiralling into that nightmarish memory, was his one hope.

"You are bluffing, mom would yell at you into the next century if you dared to do that," threatened Ben back with as much conviction as was possible.

"Would she...?" Luke asked in the cold and calculated voice, that could always make Ben question everything he knew about his reality, especially since it was super hard to get a hold of his mom. But he should be able to send a distress signal through the force. She would hardly let his uncle kill him...? Oh wait, he had already tried that a multiple times (by accident or so he says) and not so much as a beep from his mom. Had she really abandoned him? Like his father?

He suddenly realised that he was alone and at the mercy of his "murderous" uncle. He had never felt more afraid.

"Do you understand?"

* * *

 _ **KR: Of course they abandoned you...everyone will.**_

 _Even you?_

 _ **KR. Except me of course.**_

 _What a pity._

 _ **KR: Hey...Rey will abandon you too...**_

 _She...will...not...will she...?_

* * *

Ben gulped in fright and put on his most contrite look. "I understand. I'm sorry master...can I call unca Lando...or uncle Chewie and ask them to bring Rey...?" He used the biggest puppy eyes from his arsenal and pointed at the holoviewer on the desk.

Luke's shoulders slumped as all the rage slowly went out from him. He pocket the holo viewer as if he was afraid Ben would otherwise try to steal it to call them, sat down next to him on the sofa and wrapped an arm around him. Ben moved away from him, but his uncle was having none of that, so he picked him up and had him sit on his lap. "Don't be afraid. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

He wrapped the blanket around him, like in cocoon. "You can trust me...to keep you safe. I'm only doing those unfair things for that. I will do anything to protect you," he whispered in his dark hair.

* * *

 _ **KR: Yeah right.**_

 _Yeah right._

* * *

"Try to sleep, my child." Luke held him close to his chest and rocked him in his arms, like a little baby, to lull him to sleep. "You need to sleep."

Ben felt trapped inside the blanket and hated this babies treatment, but didn't fight against it because he was too afraid of the possible concequences. Instead he said. "I only want Rey...I need to...save her..." He looked up into his uncle's eyes and announced the last word like a defeated man, someone who had been trapped forever. "Master..."

"Ben, we don't even know if she is real or not...it's not wise to send them on a fool's errand," replied his uncle softly, to his query earlier without stopping rocking him. "Sleep, sleep..." he said in a soothing voice.

* * *

 ** _KR: If he starts to sing for us, we are cutting him down. No questions asked..._**

 _Agreed._

* * *

"Can we go to Jakku and check then...master?" Ben added master in whisper, like it was not something to be said out loud and as if he was only dreaming. His eyelids felt very heavy in all that gentle rocking and he had trouble keeping them up.

"No," said his uncle firmly and stopped rocking him and the sudden stop, jolted Ben wide awake.

"But, if I would get Rey, I would stay here...I promise...I just don't want her to be alone," Ben said in his smallest voice possible. "Master." He gave him his biggest porg like eyes possible.

"That's nice of you...but how can you be sure...she not tricking you?" said his uncle, who wasn't affected by the porg-eyes in the slightest. He was too used to cuteness because he had met the ewoks and even seen an baby ewok.

"Tricking me, master?" Ben raised an eyebrow and snorted derisively, since the idea was so ridiculous to him. "My ray of sunshine?"

* * *

 _ **KR: Ray of sunshine...?**_

 _What?_

 _ **KR: So...cheesy...**_

 _What would you call her?_

 _ **KR: Well, first off, she also has darkside...being Vader. So I would call her...My queen of darkness...**_

 _That's way too morbid!_

 _ **KR: King of darkness?**_

 _THAT'S EVEN WORSE! Sounds like she the ruler of underworld or something..._

 _ **KR: From my point of view, that is cool!**_

 _Well, your point of view sucks!_

 _ **KR: No, yours! Rey means king!**_

 _Still, that doesn't give her any right to rule!_

 _ **KR: No, that's because she was...and will be Vader...always!**_

 _Sigh..._

 _ **KR: You don't want to rule...with her...?**_

 _I never said...that..._

 _ **KR: But...?**_

 _It sounds like such hard work...I think I would rather just go and...life with her Jakku...if she wants me that is..._

 _ **KR: Jakku? That junkyard!**_

 _She is looking for her parents...or waiting for them...I can go and wait with her...then she won't be alone the whole time._

 _ **KR: Hmm...sounds boring...**_

 _It won't be...with Rey..._

 _ **KR: Hmm...I guess we could build our castle there...**_

 _Castle?_

 _ **KR: If we are going to rule we have to have castle...we have the one on Mustafar...but I doubt Rey would want to life there...we can move it to Jakku...**_

 _You are getting stupider by the minute, do you know that..._

 _ **KR: I would say the same thing to you...mister does not want to rule the galaxy, but instead become a stupid scavenger...in a burning hot desert...**_

 _Well...nothing is stupid with Rey..._

 _ **KR: She is the one melting your brain...**_

 _I don't care! She can do whatever she wants with me!_

 _ **KR: So stupid...**_

* * *

"She could be...darkside...luring you away from safety of the academy into a trap," said his uncle slowly, as if that would help the warning get through.

But the only part of the message that did that was. "Safety...but master, you tried to..." said Ben as he pointed out the logic error in his uncle's argument, that he was in fact the most danger to him or had been.

Luke cut him off before he could list up his "crimes" again. "We are over that now! Okay...open your eyes, maybe these dreams are tricks. I mean your grandfather had visions...and they kind of doomed him." His uncle bit his lower lip, like he always did when he had said too much and didn't know how to continue.

"Grandpa Ani had visions...master?" asked Ben, who latched onto that information, but not for the reason his uncle was hoping, as warning. Instead, he was curious to know everything about his grandfather. Also the dark parts.

"Yes, horrible ones...and he tried everything to stop them from becoming true until he..." Luke looked like he was lost for words, when the truth was he had no idea how to continue without saying too much.

"Until what...master?" asked Ben curiously.

* * *

 _ **KR: Until he became the coolest Sith Lord that ever ruled the galaxy!**_

 _Grandpa didn't rule..._

 _ **KR: Well, I'm here to rectify that mistake! I will finish what my Vader started!**_

 _Oookay..._

 _ **KR: And I used to be ruler, I can teach Rey, my Vader...she needs a teacher!**_

 _I don't think my Rey wants to rule the galaxy...wait, you used to rule...?_

 _ **KR: Yes, Naboo. Well, then we have to show her that is the right way to do!**_

 _Naboo...? I thought you meant the galaxy...not just some...planet..._

 ** _KR: Hey! It's a very cool planet! A beautiful one!_**

 _I know that, its appearance is not that far from Chandrila were I was born..._

 ** _KR: NABOO RULES!_**

 _Oookay...how...will we show Rey, ruling is the way to go?_

 _ **KR: You will figure something out...or no, let me handle it, like giving her all you can eat buffet...**_

 _That might actually work!_

 _ **KR: Just don't ruin it by saying unnecessary stuff...**_

 _Like what...?_

 _ **KR: Let me do the talking.**_

 _I don't like the sound of that..._

* * *

Luke shot him a dark look. "Until he was killed by Vader," he finished in his "that's all there is to this story", stop asking. "So you see, his visions let him into a trap," he added and hoped that the message had come across.

Ben took this new information in. "Oh...so my Rey...could be a trap...master..." he said sadly, as he thought of his Rey in a new light.

* * *

 _ **KR: As in, is really a guy...?**_

 _I didn't mean that kind of a trap! And she is a girl!_

 ** _KR: How do you know that...have you seen her...breasts...?_**

 _NO! I just know, okay!_

 ** _KR:...assuming her gender, that's very wrong._**

 _Since when were you political correct?_

 _ **KR: Always. I was politician.**_

 _Right..._

* * *

His uncle nodded. "I'm afraid so...we can't risk it, son." He ruffled his hair.

"Son, I am your padawan, master..." pointed Ben out.

"Sorry, of course you are right..." said Luke sadly, even though he was the one who had insisted on the stupid, but complicated master-padawan dynamic instead of the cute family one.

"But, Rey is so nice...master. There is nothing horrible about those vision...except of course that she gets abandoned...that sucks...for her. But I can change that!" said Ben, who would never give up on Rey, not even thought he stars would shout at him to leave her be and with great willpower, while still trapped inside the blanket, tried to squirm of Luke's lap and jump to the door.

His uncle captured him in mid-jump and plumbed him back on the sofa, by his side. "No, it might be her fate and as Jedi we are not allowed to change that. We can only do as the force wills."

"That sucks so much!" shouted Ben, who still tried to wriggle free from the blanket and glared into the distance, as if he was seeing the force ghost and shaming them for sucking so much.

"Yeah...it does. But maybe Rey will later come into your life...just not now. Wait for her, to come to you...if she is real I mean...and not some darkside trick..." said his uncle, who halted his escape attempts further by hugging him close.

* * *

 _Wow, that did come true. We did meet! And stupid Luke, she has way more light in her then dark!_

 _ **KR: Are you sure about that? In your first meeting she attacked you...and hit you with her staff...**_

 _The details don't matter...and she thought I had stolen BB-8. An innocent mistake..._

 _ **KR: So, she attacked you before making sure you were guilty? That's troublesome...but that black and white view, sure does sound like my Vader...**_

 _She's not...oh okay, fine. Maybe a part of her is._

 _ **KR: You agree to that?!**_

 _For now, just to get through this and everything points to something like that. I guess I can't ignore the signs forever..._

 _ **KR: Good...**_

 _As long as I can get my Rey, I don't care about who and what she was! For all I care, she could've been Jabba the hut! Erm...okay maybe not him...I just want Rey, okay!_

 _ **KR: I wonder if she shares the same sentiment...**_

 _I hope so too!_

* * *

"You know, you are such a hypocrite. You ran out the door the minute you saw the holographic message from my mom, who at that time, was a complete stranger. You fell in love with her...at first sight...master!" Ben shouted master like a curse word, since his mood had dropped considerably by being trapped like that and not allowed to get his Rey and give her happiness.

"I didn't go, until after my aunt and uncle had been murdered. And I was twenty, not ten..." said Luke, who loosed the blanket a little around Ben's shoulders, so he could be more comfortable but not escape and go after the, what he thought was, a dangerous girl, waiting to trap him in the darkside...forever.

"I'm nearly eleven! Master," Ben added master again, like a swear word, since he had no Rey to hold hands with, despite being way more comfortable and not as trapped in the blanket.

"That's still too young...and who knows, I'm just saving you the headache of falling in love with a girl that might be related to you..." said uncle, like that was something everyone could have happen to them instead of once in a million. It was huge galaxy, with way more than just Skywalkers (as far as Ben knew, that was just his uncle and mom and when it suited his uncle, he was part of that legacy too), Solos (which he knew nothing about, as his father never talked about them, so maybe it was just him and his father?), Organas (but his mom was the last one, since her adoptive family blew up with Alderaan and same as with Skywalker, whenever it suited her, Ben was as well or whenever she wanted to give him a good scolding or when his father, thought it way more appropriate to scold him that way)...

"Eeeh...Rey is not related to me...master?" Ben gaped over that stupidity, as he thought of the possibility that someone in light years away could be related to him, especially since his family was not that very big anymore. Unless she was Naberrie, he didn't really know that much about his grandmother's family. But Naberrie would never leave their child on Jakku, they were not jerks.

"How do you know...?" asked Luke, regarding the fact that Rey might or not be related to him, not whether or not Naberrie family were jerks or not.

* * *

 _ **KR: How do you know...? Not that Naberries were not jerks, they are wonderful!**_

 _And how do you know that? Have you been in a dinner part with them?_

 ** _KR: Among other things..._**

 _What...! Eh, Doesn't matter,_ _I thought she was Vader...according to you...that means...she is...related to me..._

 _ **KR: Yes...but we still don't who her family was...in this life...**_

 _Let it go already! For starters, I don't have that many options for her to be related to me in that way, as either my sister...or cousin...or unca Wanwo...Lando's daughter. But then she wouldn't be blood related...I only like that theory!_

 _ **KR: You still believe in your Lando theory...?**_

 _It would be so cool!_

 _ **KR: Being Vader...is not cool enough...?**_

 _Well...I don't think that enough for her...if she even likes that..._

 _ **KR: Why wouldn't she like it...?**_

 _Because of the evil stuff, Vader did._

 _ **KR: But it's so cool! Except the fact when he attacked me...but it was my fault...I should've joined him...I was a fool...**_

 _Huh? Roleplaying...again?_

 _ **KR: I have no idea why I said that!**_

* * *

"Because, if she was related to me, it would mean either you or mom and dad, did that horrible thing of leaving her in the burning hot desert! ALONE! Or worse PLAN TO!" shouted Ben, as Luke had really done that or was thinking of it. "DID YOU?! MASTER!"

"Nooo! Of course not! Never!" shouted Luke indignantly that anyone would even think of him committing such a horrible act against a child and even worse his own daughter.

"And mom and dad...master?" Ben frowned at him, as if daring him to say something bad about them. He was the only who could complain about his parents and their parenting.

"You know well that they would never do something like that, she would stay here with you..." Luke patted his a spot beside them on the sofa, as if Rey could sit there. Which Ben thought nice, but didn't like to think about her as his potential sister and stuck his tongue out in horror.

"What about if you had leave her because of emergency...master?" said Ben, before Luke could ask why he was sticking his tongue out and since he wanted to make sure of every possible outcome. "Like in case...I was dark...and danger to her..." he felt disgusted even thinking of it and send "imaginative" Rey on the couch a apologetic smile for putting her in such situation, imaginative or not.

"We would find a safe place for her, just like how I and Leia were separated and I was sent to life with our aunt and uncle on a farm...while she got to be a princess..." Luke pouted while thinking about that unfair split up.

"Why were you separated, master?" Ben asked before Luke could get depressed yet again about not being a prince.

"You know, because of Vader...I mean our father's death...I mean...both...because Vader...killed our dad...and mom." Luke stopped, changed the subject quickly and took a deep breath to yell at him: "You are not turning dark, do you hear me!"

"So you see, that she could be related to me is a total bantha poodoo." Ben gloated, as that was the only thing he cared about. "I win...master."

"You do have point...I will let it drop," said Luke and acted like he was zipping his mouth shut.

* * *

 _Well done, little me for shutting down that stupid debate...once and for all!_

 ** _KR: Hmm..._**

 _Don't you dare!_

 _ **KR: I wasn't going to say anything...**_

 _Somehow I don't believe that..._

* * *

"Good. Dad went after Qui'ra, he tried to save her...master." reminded Ben him. "So it's in my family to want to...save girls, related or not...who are in danger...or miserable...without us."

"But your dad failed...because really all those girls are strong enough to take care of themselves...and some don't even want to be saved...or can't be. So don't you see there is some connection there...?"

"So you shouldn't have tried to save mom? Master?" Ben smirked smugly. "She told me she took over the rescue operation and had to save you and dad from the Death Stars, since you didn't have a single plan...like always."

Luke blushed shamefully and rambled: "What, no, that's not what I meant...and hey, I did break her out of her cell, she wouldn't have gotten that far with out me...and it was her fault we ended up in that trash compactor! Though to be fair, I'm not sure how else we could have gotten away. Thankfully Threepio managed to shut down the trash compactors in time or you wouldn't even exist..."

"Uncle...I mean master. I know that stupid story by heart. You don't have to tell me...all of you...can't let go of that stupid story..." murmured Ben, who had long since grown tired of that nostalgia of the old days. His family was constantly stuck in remembering it and couldn't stop rubbing in his face, like it was the best thing ever. They wanted his future aspire to be the same or it would never be on par with their glory days and yet they didn't want another war or that he did anything remotely heroic, because it was too dangerous for him, so their want didn't make any sense to him. Not that anything they wanted for him, did make any sense.

"Let the past die...already," he growled in warning. "Master."

"Hey, it's not stupid..." Luke pouted. "And come on, we have to learn from the past, right? Where was I...?" He looked at Ben for help to get back at topic, back to the future, the now.

"I want to save Rey and nothing you have told me, tells me I shouldn't...master," said Ben, annoyed that he couldn't just go and save her already instead of all this pointless stalling and nostalgia stupidness.

"Of course, you should always try to save the one you love...I meant that in both cases, neither of us ended up with their...love. Well...their...first love. He loves your mom," said Luke, like Ben didn't already know that, as his father kind of worshipped the ground his mother walked on, whenever he was home.

"I know that...they fight but they still love each other...master," said Ben matter-of-factly, since he had witnessed it first hand and grimaced, when thinking about them kissing in front of him.

His uncle nodded, happy that Ben knew their marriage was working despite turmoils. "Exactly..."

"They mostly fight over me...master," said Ben on the verge of tears, as he remembered how many of their fights had revolved around what to do with him and especially with his mother, asking his father to be more part of his life, instead of always running away, because he was too much to handle and leaving his upbringing to her, or the droids.

* * *

 ** _KR: See, they don't want you back...they are way better without you...in fact they probably were happy when you got out of their life...but not when you got back in..._**

 _That's not what they said..._

 ** _KR: They were lying...because they need to capture you and bring you to justice for your crimes...you are not their son...never were..._**

 _I..._

 ** _KR: Now you are nothing...but a criminal...a monster..._**

* * *

Luke stiffened, like he saw Ben spiralling into dark thoughts. "I don't think that's true..." He released him from the confines of the blanket, moved him in a lying position on the sofa and tucked the blanket around him. "Get some sleep." He ruffled his hair and stood beside his bedside, as he planned to to watch over him until he fell asleep.

"Stop fighting the sleeping pill. You will only get more exhausted," he scolded, when Ben still stared into the ceiling instead of closing his eyes like a good boy.

"It will be way different with Rey...I will safe her and end up with her...master." as usual Ben didn't hear a word his uncle said and smiled while thinking about Rey, like she was the solution to all of his problems and he to hers. The answer to all of their loneliness.

"Why?" asked Luke tentatively, like he wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer, like Rey was in fact something to be feared instead of longed for with all your heart and soul.

"Because she is my soulmate. She is my first and last love...master." Ben beamed and even the word master, didn't sound as strange anymore coming from his mouth.

Luke just shot him a disbelieving...and bit of a jealous, look. "Sounds like a fairytale to me, son...not the real world."

Ben frowned at him for crushing his dreamworld once again like that and whined: "It's not fair, Balatik was allowed to leave this stupid place. Why not me? Why can't I go home? Why can't I go pick up Rey? Or have someone go and get her? Please...master." Despite Ben even using both please and master, his uncle did not relent in the slightest and gave him his sternest frown.

"Have you not heard a single word I said? You can't leave, you can't go because you will waltz right into a trap. She could be dangerous, so I'm not sending anyone else to go and get her."

"Dangerous? She is a child...maybe even..just a newborn..." said Ben in dream-like voice, as if he was watching her in the distance and she was waving back at him with a smile. "Master," he added in a whisper.

Luke shook his head. "Don't underestimate force sensitive kids. Just look what you did to my office..." He stopped and looked at Ben stunned when he registered what he really had said. Ben didn't even look sorry for what he did to his office, as he was still thinking about his precious Rey...needed him.

"Wait, what? You want to go and rob some cradle?" He knits his brows. "Ben Solo, you want to kidnap some innocent girl? That's it, you are getting a timeout."

Ben yelped in surprise, when he grabbed him from the sofa and carried him towards a corner.

* * *

 _Now, I'm Solo?_

 _ **KR: Of course, you are only Skywalker when it suits him...and it's not befitting of a Skywalker to kidnap anyone...**_

 _I don't want to kidnap her! I want to save her!_

 ** _KR: But, I might have to kidnap her, to turn her back into Vader._**

 _You are not bringing her to Snoke!_

 ** _KR: No, I intend to keep her. She's mine. All mine._**

 _Keep her...? Please don't...and she's mine! If she want's me...that is..._

 ** _KR: MINE! My Vader!_**

 _NO! MINE! MY REY!_

* * *

"Why?! She will have the lousiest caretakers ever! I'm doing her a favour. I'm giving her a family! I haven't done anything! Master!" Ben struggled in Luke's hold, as he brought him to corner, even though he hadn't kidnapped Rey yet.

* * *

 _Why did he punish me for something I hadn't even done? Only for the possibility? That's so unfair!_

 ** _KR: What a prick!_**

* * *

 _Next up: A little darkside meltdown..._


	34. A little darkside meltdown

_AN: DARKNESS RISES AND LIGHT TO MEET IT! Oh wait...where is Rey...that kind of is the problem here, isn't it? And is she really the light? Or both...?_

* * *

Chapter thirty four - A little darkside meltdown

"You haven't done anything...?" His uncle scoffed, as he could see destruction of his office, just through the corner of his eye. "You don't kidnap people. Not even think about it. And you want to to marry someone who is barely born...sounds to me like arranged marriage." Luke shook his head, as this deal sounded worse by the time and put him in the naughty chair. "Stay there and think about how wrong that is." He pointed at the corner. "Face forward."

"Erm...she will have choice of course...but I feel that we are meant to be together..." He turned his head towards his uncle, who moved it back to face the corner. "I'm not going to kidnap her...like you kidnapped me...master," snapped Ben at him and glared at the corner, as he hoped it would get destroyed if he stared hard enough into it.

Luke leaned over the chair and said in dangerous whisper: "I did not kidnap you. Don't be ridiculous...do you honestly believe your parents would allow me to do that...? Can you just imagine your mother's rage if I did attempt that...?"

"Oh...right...what about dad...?" Ben looked over his shoulder with hope in his eyes. Like he hoped his dad would come immediately and rescue him from his rancor uncle. "Master," he added in a fake respect.

Luke frowned at him, like he could see the real image he had of him in his head, through his innocent brown eyes. "Eyes forward."

Ben grumbled and turned back with folded arms. He changed his imagination and now he was the rancor. In his mind he was eating his uncle, who was screaming for his life as he crunched him beneath his teeth. He chuckled evilly.

"You know, what he thinks and I send Balatik home because he was a troublemaker, more fit to be a pirate then a Jedi. While you are my precious family..." Luke said the last part softly, since couldn't see the horror Ben was imagining, or rather if he checked into his mind he would be very unhappy with him.

"Family...I thought I was your padawan...master." Ben turned around and smirked, when could throw Luke's own contradictory rules in his face.

Luke drew in a deep breath and stormed. "Okay, that's it Ben. You are both, okay! So you can call me both...no need to spit out master after every sentence...it's creeping me out, to be honest. Nose in the corner."

Ben gloated evilly over that small victory, when he turned to face the corner. "I'm a troublemaker, you call me that...master," He said with a creepy voice to spite his uncle. "But, I want to be a smuggler not a stupid Jedi...who has to follow the stupid code..." The minute his mind drifted to Rey, his evil grin vanished as if it had never existed and turned into a deep frown, like he wanted to cry on her behalf. "And can't even save an innocent life from loneliness...my poor innocent Rey..." . He kicked at the wall, like he could get out that way and rescue her from her impending loneliness.

"We have been through this over and over again, it's far too dangerous for you to leave and you have to learn to control the force...and your temper..." Luke put a stern hand on Ben's leg and lowered it into a sitting position. "Stop kicking."

"Screw the force! It is it's fault that I'm stuck here! Instead of being with my Rey. I wish I was never born with it! I hate it!" The moment his uncle let go of his leg, he used both to kick as hard as possible at the wall.

* * *

 _ **KR: You hate the force? That's so stupid.**_

 _Well, it gives me a lot of trouble...and no, I don't hate it now...it's cool._

 _ **KR: Exactly, it's so cool! And Rey has it...you don't hate her...**_

 _Of course I don't hate her! Don't be silly. I would never hate her! And I don't care who she was in past life...even Vader...if that is even true...plus I love my grandfather...no matter what he did...he made amends for it..._

 _ **KR: She will hate you...**_

 _No, she won't! Will she...? I thought...I was someone extremely special to her...in past life...wait...grandmother...?! He kriffing turned for her to try and safe her! No one could be more special than that, except Luke who he sacrificed his life for..._

 ** _KR: I'm still mad that he did it..._**

 _You talked about Naboo...politician...even Naberrie family, you weren't just messing around...?_

 _ **KR: That was me and that was past life. This is another life and as soon as Rey finds out you are her maker...in this life...**_

 _I'm not her maker! And you and me are the same idiot! Am I...my own...grandmother...?_

 _ **KR: You are not and if you are not her maker, then the darkside made her! To create another Vader! I mean, make her into Vader again!**_

 _What...then I would rather be her maker..._

 _ **KR: Such prejudice against the darkside...and Vader...**_

 _But I love Vader._

 _ **KR: Nice.**_

 _I mean Rey...I love Rey..._

 _ **KR: Same thing...**_

 _Are you really my grandmother...?_

 _ **KR:...? I'm Vader's...future and past partner.**_

 _So...grandmother? Padmé...?_

 _ **KR: That name has no longer any meaning for me.**_

 _Oh...this is confusing as...!_

 _ **KR: NO SWEARING, YOUNG MAN!**_

 _You are nothing like I imagined..._

 _ **KR: I learned..from the past...not to be such a pushover! Let the past die! And to make the right decision this time. Don't say no to darkside! That doesn't end well for anyone! Wait...were did that come from...? Who am I...?**_

 _This is getting weirder by the minute!_

 _ **KR: Tell me about it...I don't know who I am any more...**_

 _Me neither..._

* * *

Luke sighed and petted Ben's head in comfort or to make him think more positive. "I know this is hard...and you can't hate the force, it's in everything. You don't hate everything, do you?"

"No...I...don't know...I don't understand why did dad...do this...why did he leave me here...? I knew it...the dream was too good to be true...it was too nice...maybe I should just go back to sleep so I can keep dreaming that nice dream and more about Rey. Instead of being stuck in this...this...living nightmare...without Rey..." said Ben sobbing, as to him a life without her, he could just well as be living dead. A zombie.

"Come on, don't be so dramatic. I'm not that bad am I?" scolded Luke and turned the chair, so he was facing him and not the corner. He smiled at him, as if the smile would chase away the darkness building in Ben's soul.

"Yes, you are. You have tried to kill me multiple times..." said Ben accusingly and narrowed his eyes at him.

"It was an accident..." muttered Luke, unconvincingly.

"You hurt me...you threatened to hurt me," pointed Ben out.

"Erm...I was bluffing, son. Sorry." Luke patted his head again, like that would make up for everything.

Ben gives him a disbelieving look. "I really just want to go home...and get Rey...she needs me..."

"You don't know what this...Rey...really wants..." Luke stopped as a brilliant plan came to him, a thing that was rare. "Wait, maybe we should go and get her, than you would be forced to babysit her...and learn some patience." He grinned, when he found a plan to make Ben stop thinking about Rey.

"Babysit...?" Ben looked afraid and a little disgusted by that idea. He had doomed look as he thought about holding a screaming baby, that he had no idea how to calm down. Or worse, he had to change her. Nothing terrified him more, as he had already had his share of cleaning up after animals and that stink was enough to turn him to the darkside.

"You don't like that...? Do you? "Luke smirked smugly, as he was sure he had finally won the great get Rey-debate. He had the look of a parent who had agreed to give its child a puppy to teach it responsibility, after the said child had begged for it, without knowing what it really entailed.

"It's Rey, I will do anything for her..." said Ben with great conviction, like he was ready to fight through fire for her. "Anything..." He focused on Rey's future happy smile. He would do anything to give that to her. Even make great sacrifices. Nothing but she mattered.

* * *

 ** _KR: Woah...I'm a bit impressed by that commitment..._**

 _How dare I compare my sweet Rey to an animal?! And thinking about her this way..well, today she most likely smells of flowers and..._

 ** _KR: You know just as well as I do, that she probably hasn't even bathed. She lived in a desert...she probably smells of sand and..._**

 _I DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT! I mean the bath part, it's sucks that she was living in dirty desert, not her fault. She can take a bath in the ship...and..._

 ** _KR: You were thinking about her in shower...weren't you...?_**

 _Don't interrupt my Rey imagination!_

 ** _KR: I'm in your head. That's all I do._**

 _GO AWAY!_

 ** _KR: We are stuck here._**

 _Oh...right...must think of...Rey...like that...later..._

 ** _KR: Pervert..._**

 _Hey! I'm not a...it's just natural to think...you make fun of me being an virgin and for having fantasies! You suck!_

 ** _KR: Just telling the truth..._**

* * *

As it wasn't the answer his uncle was looking for, he thundered: "Ben! Is there no way to get it through your thick head, that is is not possible. That she might be dangerous...please..."

"NO! I want to go home and get her! Master...!" shouted Ben at him, red in face, as nothing could make him change his mind about Rey. Nothing, not even being forced to babysit her, was enough to stop him.

Luke looked at his pocket were the holoviewer rested, hoping for a call back so he could let either of his parents deal with his Rey obsession, but when it didn't call, he sighed. "I know, you want to go home, son. Your parents love you very much...We love you very much and we didn't like doing this...but this is for the best, trust me. We would never had done this otherwise. I wouldn't be doing this...if I didn't think this was the only way. You have to trust me. You are the chosen one, like your grandfather was..."

* * *

 _ **KR: Ironic..**_

 _Is that the only thing you can say?_

 _ **KR: Well, there are a lot of ironic things in this conversation...like the fact that you want to go and pick up...Vader..**_

 _She is not Vader! I think...I mean...maybe only part...but mostly Rey..._

 _ **KR: Then she is stupid Anakin...who used to be Vader...**_

 _Sigh...you are never going to let this drop..._

 _ **KR: No.**_

 _Do you want me to call you...darth Padmé?_

 _ **KR: What, no I like my name. Padmé and Ren both mean lotus.**_

 _...? Say what...?_

 _ **KR: Why would you want to call me...Padmé...?**_

 _Snoke must be messing with our brains...I mean my brain..._

 _ **KR: That's doesn't need much...**_

 _HEY!_

* * *

"But wasn't grandpa killed by Vader..master?" asked Ben suspiciously, as if he thought Luke wanted him to end the same way.

"From a certain point of view..." mumbled Luke.

"Huh?"

"It doesn't matter as you won't be killed by any masked darksider," said Luke sternly, like otherwise he would hunt him down and end him to bring him back...erm the darksider who killed him, even though they were one and the same, which made the feat impossible.

"Of course not. That's stupid. This is stupid!" Ben shouted.

* * *

 _Don't you dare say it.._

 _ **KR: I didn't say anything...**_

 _And I wasn't killed...I only fell asleep.._

 _ **KR: So irresponsible...**_

 _And I won't again..._

 _ **KR: We shall see..we shall see...**_

 _I want to hit you so much!_

 _ **KR: You want to hit your own grandmother...?**_

 _What...the...no...I...argh!_

 _ **KR: Hehe, what a fool...**_

 _Why are you so mean to me...if I'm your grandson?_

 _ **KR: Because you are being naughty.**_

 _That's doesn't excuse..._

 _ **KR: And hindering the greater good of the galaxy...**_

 _The greater good...?_

 _ **KR: To allow it to be ruled by me and Vader...**_

 _That's...I can't believe what I'm hearing!_

 _ **KR: You never do...to be fair I'm not sure about anything...except wanting to rule the galaxy with future and past Vader. That's solid!**_

* * *

"Good boy, you are finally beginning to understand..." Even thought Ben was neither calm or over Rey in the slightest, Luke took the small victory of him not wanting to end up like his grandfather and wanted to call it a night. "No more Rey or Vader talk. Let's just go to sleep, sleep now...my son... He said in hypnotising voice to lull him into a sleep.

* * *

 _No, I don't understand anything!_

 _ **KR: That's nothing new...one tantrum coming up...**_

 _It was not a tantrum...was it?_

 _ **KR: A meltdown then...**_

* * *

Big tremors ran through Ben's small body, like he was about to boil over or explode like a volcano.

"Ben...? Are you okay...?"

Luke tentatively lifted up a hand to give him a comforting touch on his shaking shoulder, but before he could touch him, Ben jumped off the chair like he been electrocuted and he snarled:"NO! My parents can't treat me like this. They can't just leave me here! You can't treat me like this! I have to save my Rey! And since you won't help me I will do it on my own."

"What...Ben...how...?" His uncle just stared after him, despite him leaving the corner without permission.

Furiously Ben grabbed his bag and went over to the desk to get the notebook. "I will run away for real this time! I will get lost in space! I will wreck the galaxy! No, better yet I will find Rey and we will rule the galaxy together! We will elope and have children again, which none of you will never ever meet! Yeah, that will show you! Stupid adults that know nothing!" He slung the bag over his shoulder after retrieving the notebook and calligraphy set and stormed to the door.

* * *

 _ **KR: Elope...? Have children...as a child...? Again...? My children...?**_

 _Sheesh...what was I thinking...? Your children...?_

 _ **KR: You had more clearer view of the future back then...and still as obsessed with Rey. And ruling the galaxy is always nice.**_

 _Well, nothing has really changed with her...as long as she wants me that is...and not to the rule the galaxy...just to be...with me._

 _ **KR: Loser...it is your birth right...to rule...you are Vader's heir...**_

 _Maybe, but unless Rey is with me, nothing matters..._

 _ **KR: Well, I want to rule with Vader...so...**_

 _Will you shut up already!_

 _ **KR: So rude...you are grounded!**_

 _You can't...what...!_

 _ **KR: This was fun...and this is even more fun!**_

* * *

Ben turned the knob, but it only rattled and didn't open. He tried to open the door with force and when that didn't work, he turned to his uncle with a hateful glare. "Open up!" He commanded.

"It's dark outside," said Luke, who hadn't moved to stop him since there was no need. The door was force locked and only he could open it.

"Open up, stupid Jedi!" thundered Ben. He turned to Luke and lifted his hand up like he was trying to force choke him.

His uncle just stared annoyed at him when nothing happened and Ben lowered and gazed at his small hand, stunned that it hadn't worked.

Luke shook his head sternly. "Stupid Jedi? No, means, no Ben. Do you have any idea what time it is? BEN!" he shouted when Ben used the force to throw the desk at the door with mighty crash.

If Luke hadn't put a force-shield over his office to make sure no one could come in or out, plus it muted the sound so nothing could be heard outside, the other padawans would've come running to ask what the kriff was going on, long time ago. However Luke hadn't been foresighted enough to also to put a shield inside his office to protect it from a possible threat inside and cursed himself for it, since it was too late now. The descruction had already begun.

"Not Ben, Kylo. Ben is gone. You can have Kylo, but Ben is...lost. He went to save Rey." Ben rammed the door over and over with the desk. "I'm going to help him go and get her!"

* * *

 _ **KR: So mean! You went before and left me alone with stupid Luke...or well, that's what you said anyway...**_

 _So...you really did exist from way back...since this is a...real memory...this is real...you really came...out...?_

 _ **KR: That's what you take from this tantrum? But, yes, you did made me...when you were a wee little child...just like how you made Rey...from Vader...**_

 _I didn't make her...but I made you...from my grandmother? Why?_

 _ **KR: You must have been seriously drunk...on blue milk, if you thought Padmé was darkside and a handsome and well dressed dude...she was beautiful and well dressed though...and with a impeccable hair...like us...I mean me...**_

 _But Anakin wasn't a girl...I mean Vader wasn't...he...she was still born in a desert though...poor thing..._

 _ **KR: He is a she now...it doesn't matter, we can still be together...and she is beautiful...**_

 _Hands off Rey!_

 _ **KR: And so powerful...**_

 _I said, hands off!_

 _ **KR: We can share.**_

 _NO!_

 _ **KR: Cheapskate.**_

 _But that sure explains the pictures with me dressed as you when I was a child...this is a real memory...this is...the truth...? This is the real truth? Or one of them...?_

 _ **KR: Yes...but this is not me.**_

 _Oh, it isn't...?_

 _ **KR: Nope, but I will appear later.**_

 _Oh no...when I was a kid...?_

 _ **KR: Yebb...a very...dangerous kid...with a saber!**_

 _Shit!_

* * *

Luke fore pulled him from the door, into his arms and held him firmly. "I am looking right at him..." He turned him around to face him. "At you...so stop fooling around this minute, Ben Skywalker!" He clamped down on his shoulders firmly and stared hard into his eyes, like he was willing him to be someone else.

"Skywalker? I'm Solo!" Ben stomped his feet and tried to break free of his hold.

"I know that..." Luke's voice trailed off, like he didn't really believe his own words and broke the eye contact, which might otherwise have broken the spell...or curse Ben was under.

* * *

 _Skywalker...? He's back to that, why does he keep calling me that...? I thought he would only use that if he was happy with me...or well, kind of...why is he scolding me, by using it? Is there something more...? It's the same name...his kid had in his...dream world..._

 _ **KR: Ah...I wonder...if that...really is the truth about your origin...incest...**_

 _No! Stop it! I'm just Skywalker through mom, but she only ever uses Organa...or Organa-Solo...still strange...he keeps calling that, like it's his second nature..._

* * *

 _"_ Then why did you say that...?! And why do you keep calling me son? I told you to stop that!" Dark Ben forcepushed him away and crossed his arm, defiantly.

Luke gave up on holding him or trying to calm him down and just let him went. "I don't know anymore...tired...go back to bed. Maybe your parent's will call tomorrow and then we can figure this out. I promise." However he looked at the holoviewer in his pocket, as he prayed for the force to make it call now, since hearing from them might be the only thing that could stop his out of control nephew.

"NO! You don't know anything...You don't understand shit! I hate you! Hate you!" Ben yelled like he was possessed and tried to break the window with his fist. When that didn't work, he threw a chair against it, but it slumped harmlessly down because of the force-shield. He was completely trapped, which did little to help Ben's dark mood. But despite him being so angry, he hadn't used the force to break the room anymore, but instead attacked physically. A testament to his great rage, he needed to destroy stuff himself, not only with the force.

"Watch your language. Remember, the Jedi, they don't hate...or love...except their old family, they can't have a new family...except you might if she is real...and not dangerous, have your parents adopt this Rey...but you can never marry her..." said Luke sternly, as Ben tried every possible way he could think of to get out of this locked room.

"I don't want to be a stupid Jedi that can't marry! Get me out of here!" Ben tried to jump into one of the cracks in the floor and crawl out that way, but it wasn't very deep so he couldn't get very far. And despite trying to make the force enlarge it, it never went of out the permitters of the room and in fact stayed the same, as if Luke has only allowed that size of cracks to appears in his office, though it was weird that even allowed crack to appear there. Must be because he assumed Ben would try this.

"Stop being so dramatic..." scolded Luke as he lifted him up from the hole, put him on the floor and swatted him. "Behave." He shook a finger sternly at him, like he was naughty boy, instead of a dangerous darkside user. "Go, to bed now, sooon...Ben?" He asked hesitantly and got very frightned, when he felt he was staring into the eyes of someone else, not his nephew. Someone...far more dangerous. Someone who had been awakened.

With a dark look, little Kylo used the force to get the ancient saber and at long last, after Ben's many pathetic attempts to get it, it ended up right in Little Kylo's open palm. Like a good doggie being called to his owner.

"Oh, no you don't!" Luke's eyes widened when Ben grasped the saber threateningly and he gasped, when the red blazing light shot out of the black cylinder. "Turn it off, this minute! I'm warning you!" He said, but not with the same conviction as before. He looked terrified by the little creature in front of him, like he was about to die at the hands of him. "Please..." he pleaded, both for his life and for Ben to come back.

"Shut up! I will break everything to pieces. I will escape this place! One way or another!" Little Kylo turned away from him and slashed through the desk with the ignited saber, like a laser saw. The humming of the red saber, sounded like an angry kitten meowing and it slashed through, like an furious cat clawing its way through the desk.

* * *

 _ **KR: Hey, my saber sounds and is way more threatening than that!**_

 _Does it...?_

 _ **KR: You are not sure?**_

 _I'm not sure about anything right now..._

* * *

Luke breathed a big sigh of relief when he didn't swing the saber at him, but at his furniture, but then he woke up to even more destruction of his room and shouted:"Ben, this a priceless artifact!" he scolded in the vain attempt to get to his naughty nephew, when little Kylo used the historical saber so carelessly.

His uncle grabbed his head in anguish when saw the desk begun to split slowly in two in front of the door, instead of Ben just moving it away with the force. "My desk! I'm going to kill you for this!" He looked at the safe where he had locked his saber inside. He never expected to have to use it to stop his own nephew's destruction. But Luke decided against getting it at the last minute, since was he was still traumatised by how he had nearly killed his nephew with it. He was never going to use it to attack his nephew ever again.

"I didn't mean it literally..." he added in remorseful voice. "I don't want to harm you...please...stop."

* * *

 _He was traumatized by it?_

 _ **KR: That stupid narrator doesn't now anything...it's very Luke centric...like calling me little Kylo, instead of the super awesome little one. What a wasted opportunity.**_

 _Oookay..._

* * *

"I'm not Ben and I don't care!" Little Kylo continued to try to break through to the door. "I need to get to MY VADER!"

"Vader...? Don't you mean Rey...? Wait...my...?" Luke gaped at him. "Are you nuts?"

"VADER! I'M COMING!" shouted Little Kylo at the top his lungs, as the hacked feverishly at desk, like Vader was waiting for him behind it with his open arms.

* * *

 _ **KR: Finally! There is the coolest part.**_

 _This is the cool part...?_

 _ **KR: You...I mean me, are using our lightsaber! For real! That's always cool! PLUS CALLING AFTER MY VADER!**_

 _I guess..._

 _ **KR: And darkside! I'm so proud of mini us! MINI ME!**_

 _Looks like full blown tantrum/meltdown to me...not that I can blame mini me/you/us...it involved Rey's happiness after all..._

 _ **KR: Well...darkside...kind of...can be like that...I mean tantrum/meltdown like...**_

 _It can...?_

 _ **KR: Why do you think you went to the darkside in the end..?**_

 _Hey, that's unfair...it's way more complicated than that! Wait...did that also involve Rey in some way?_

 _ **KR: Maybe...we shall see later...**_

 _Later...?_

 _ **KR: Stupid Luke is so deliciously angry with mini us...lov...like it.**_

 _You are such a creep..._

 _ **KR: Making life a hell for the Jedi, is kind of my MO.**_

 _But...I thought he was your son..._

 _ **KR: DON'T CALL HIM THAT!**_

* * *

"Stop it! This minute! Ben, I'm warning you. I will call your mother! She's gonna call back at any second now!" Luke looked desperately out the corner at his eye at the holoviewer, willing his sister to call, all the while muttering. "Leia...Leia..." Hoping that saying the name of Ben's mother, would bring Ben back to his senses.

"I'm not BEN! I'm Kylo!" Little Kylo, couldn't care less about anyone called Leia getting so mad at him and giving him such a scolding that he wished he could back in time and undo whatever bad thing he did or even wished he was never born. Finally Little Kylo reached the door and started slashing at it.

"BEN SOLO!"

"I do not answer to that name any longer! I'm the mighty Kylo Ren! What's up with that stupid door...why can't I get through!" Little Kylo slashed viciously at the door, but it didn't budge not matter how many red streak ran across it, no one of them went through and vanished instead, like they were holographic but not real.

"It's lightsaber...and naughty nephew-son proved, now stop this," said Luke and hoped that would stop his folly.

"Well, then I will just ruin everything else in here, until you let me out!" Little Kylo slashed at everything in sight. The precious Jedi items split into million pieces.

"Ben, what the...!" Luke looked horrified as more things broke around him with the saber. "BEEEN!"

* * *

 _ **KR: Hehe...nice destruction.**_

 _I don't remember doing this..._

 _ **KR: You don't seem to remember anything...or maybe you only choose what you want to remember...except the Rey/Vader parts, really weird that you didn't remember any of that...**_

 _Yeah...but weren't you the one who did all this...?_

 _ **KR: Maybe...it sure was fun to do...**_

 _Okay can we go now...?_

 _ **KR: Go?**_

 _Yeah..I don't need to see Luke kill me..or you for this...again..._

 _ **KR: Oh, but you will like the next part...**_

 _Like it...?_

 _ **KR: Well...from a certain point of view...**_

 _I really hate that line!_

* * *

 _Next up: A forceful parental attention..._


	35. A forceful parental attention

_AN:Thank you so much for all for your support! You guys rock and make me write faster (and hopefully better)! I love writing this and updates will be as swift as possible until I can get to the sequel (which has my favourite parts! Finally Rey's POV)_

 _AcrylicBrush: Thank you! I'm so honoured that you took your time to read the whole thing (especially since it has become so loooong) and comment. :) So glad you liked it! :D_

 _UnknownSeven7: WOW! I'm speechless and crying of joy. Thank you, thank you. I'm so happy that all of my work is finally paying off and you are enjoying it as much as I am writing it. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! I so needed this, because in the past I have tried self publishing my own work and as with the publishing world, it is really harsh, unforgiving, it nearly made me give up on writing, plus my PTSD that came later on top my anxiety and depression. :S. But I write to heal (and to heal characters) and I'm so glad to hear it helps other people as well. I send all of my support to you and to everyone who needs it, for whatever has changed so dramatically for you. Three chapters (or at least two, are on it's way!)_

 _I'm not exaggerating when I say, I literally put my soul (silly, dark/fluff and angsty) into this story. ;) Like many, I can relate so hard to Ben, even though I have wonderful family...no wait, he does too, they just have some issues (and in my fic, they will all be one happy family again! They just have to get through some pain, angst and silliness first :S). But even if though your family is wonderful, you can still be hurting inside. That's the tragedy of mental illness and other invisible things. It's hard for some people to understand and that's why I think Ben/Kylo's story is so important! Also my brother is autistic and can do "Kylo Ren like tantrums/meltdowns" when he is feeling very awful because of things not working out the way they should and his mind literally completely crashes like a computer (the only thing to do, is to get out of the way and allow him to break stuff and help him afterwards when he has calmed down a bit). So I'm super overprotective of Ben-Kylo. He represents so many, my dear brother included._

 _But, in this chapter Luke first does something, kind of wrong! To stop Kylo (because he is stupid? or has no idea how to stop Ben's darkside otherwise? It's a learning process :S) and then something RIGHT for Ben (because he is nice and really loves his nephew dearly! :D Though he messes up from time to time :S). What do you know, just like in canon (TLJ)...kind of. Except he didn't do any of those things! And wasn't that overly sappy afterwards (he should've been! he traumatised poor Ben)..._

(SPOILER ALERT - "spoilers" for 9 - for those who do not want to know anything, not even about the casting - do not read the underlined text here below! Scroll past it!)

 _YEAH! Luke will be back to finish the Skywalker saga, either as flashback or a forceghost, my bet is on a cheeky forceghost. So, Luke, you better be nice to your nephew and bring him back to the light! (though to be fair, that was kind of what the Crait battle was all about - at least to help Ben get there half-way - help him get over the trauma plus getting his forgiveness). But I need more! Fricking hug your nephew! Ghost can be corporeal we saw that with Yoda in TLJ. ;)_ _And we are also getting more with our Leia thanks to unused footage from both 7 and 8 and new stuff with unca Wanwo! So happy! Like I couldn't get more excited for 9! Can't wait! But until then, read and write fanfics...plus live life in general...;)_

(Spoiler ends)

 _Yet another long chapter, so I had to divide into three (so the updates should be swift - they wary in size). We are finally going to get off that pain darkside train, albeit briefly! You will see in the next chapters. ;) Time for some fluff, fluff time (but not yet...) have to "finish" their stupid "battle" first. :S First pain and and then fluff!_

* * *

Chapter thirty five - A forceful parental attention

"BEEEN!" shouted his uncle, like Ben was far, far away trapped in another world or working behind the enemy lines. When in reality he was right in front of him, destroying everything in sight.

"I'm not Ben. I'm Kylo," replied Little Kylo annoyed, that Luke kept getting his name wrong and to punish him extra for that, he sliced through the most valuable Jedi relics he could find. "VADER!" He yelled like he thought Vader was hiding inside Luke's stuff.

"Stop it! Stop it now! I will call your mom, I'm not joking," said Luke, who was getting lost in more despair as more of this things were being "murdered" by Little Kylo's crackling saber, who kept calling Vader.

"You wouldn't dare to disturb Ben's mom while she's in a meeting...again..." replied Little Kylo as he slashed one valuable book into little pieces and looked for Vader.

Luke's eyes followed each and every destruction with a furious look, as he contemplated his defence. "For this. Yes, I would, I think she would understand...no don't break that! BEN!" He turned to him, with such a fury in his eyes, that it was big wonder that he hadn't turned to the darkside yet.

"Oh, you've really done it now! You're in so much trouble! I'm calling her now!" Luke picked up the holographic viewer to threaten him with to behave, like it was an ignited saber. Except it wasn't, it all just a illusion so the threat did nothing to stop the rampaging Kylo doing more damage or looking for Vader.

"Do what you must stupid Jedi. I don't care...or...better yet..." Little Kylo stopped slashing away with his saber, turned towards him and clenched his small fist, until the holographic viewer exploded in Luke's hand.

"BEEEN!" Enraged, Luke dropped the broken pieces of the viewer on the floor. He rolled up his sleeve, so his metallic hand was clearly visible and showed his teeth, like a wild animal ready to pounce on his naughty nephew at the first opportunity.

"It's Kylo. Kylo Ren. You can't call for any help. You are trapped. It's useless to resist, Jedi!" said Little Kylo, in what should've been cold and dangerous voice, but didn't sound that threatening coming from a little boy, who wasn't even half Luke's size. "Vader is on my side!"

Maybe it was the name Vader and spoken of in that manner, that was crossing the line for his uncle or maybe Little Kylo had crossed it a long time ago. Luke clenched his fist in fury and his eyes held a dark look in them. Little Kylo even looked a little afraid of him and yet, just had to slash at one more thing, which did little to calm his uncle down.

"Okay, that's it! I've had it with you! No, more mister nice guy!" Quick as lighting, Luke lifted one hand up to force freeze him. Then he stormed over to his frozen and shocked form, turned off the ancient saber and put it safely away, before picking him up into his arms and carried him over to a chair, that somehow had been left out in all the destruction.

"What...how..aaah...!" When little Kylo woke up from his frozen state, he panicked when he saw Luke, had not only disarmed him, but was carrying him towards the naughty chair and he fought tooth and nail to get away, like it was an electric one. "Let me down! Let me down! STUPID JEDI! HELP ME VADER!"

* * *

 _Wow...uncle is so powerful..._

 _ **KR: DON'T YOU DARE ADMIRE HIM! My Vader is million percent more powerful, than he ever could hope to be!**_

 _What about Snoke...?_

 _ **KR: He's okay...except the fact that he might be able to blow up planets with his black kyper ring!**_

 _Might?_

 _ **KR: I've never actually seen him do it...I just have to take his word for it...he's so powerful in the force...**_

 _Then, what's the point with the Starkiller base...?_

 _ **KR: That's just for show. I doubt we'll ever use it, its powers are insignificant compared to the powers of the force.**_

 _Like the Deathstars...?_

 _ **KR: They both got blown up by rebelscum...not their fault...is your uncle going to do what I think he is doing...?!**_

 _Looks that way..._

* * *

"It's time...to end this naughtiness!" Luke sat down in the chair, put Little Kylo's struggling body over his knee and held him there firmly as he raised his hand in the air.

"NOOO!" screamed Little Kylo, like he was about to be chopped down with a saber or worse, Vader was being taken away from him. "VAAADEER!"

* * *

 _ **KR: Holy sith, that's childabuse!**_

 _Not at that time...and he already tried to kill me...and gave me fish oil. And you wrecked his office! You deserved this! Naughty Sith!_

 ** _KR: You started it...and I'm not a Sith..._**

 _Oh...right...erm...do you really you think you are one to talk about child abuse? Doesn't the First Order kidnap and brainwash children to turn them into troopers?_

 _ **KR: I have nothing to do with that! But, look at what your uncle is doing! And you call me evil! No wonder I hate that man!**_

 _Oh, yeah, as his darkside "mother," you wouldn't have done the same to him...given the chance?_

 _ **KR: For not listening to his father and not joining the darkside...hmm...it might have crossed my mind...but, no I would only have given him a very harsh lecture...**_

 _Somehow I don't believe that..._

 _ **KR: Where he is hanging over an abyss...with a space slug at the bottom...ready to eat him...**_

 _Okay, you are evil...what happened to you...?_

 _ **KR: I died...and came back.**_

 _Oh...but Vader died too...but Rey...if she was him, is very...nice...or well mostly...I mean! She is wonderful!_

 _ **KR: I died with great griefs...I felt my life being force drained out of me, the moment I was giving birth. Vader did not die that way...and I gave him my life as I died. Of course, I did that for him! That's not the problem...while Vader died, with the knowledge that he had saved our stupid son, but I on the other hand, had to watch everything I believed in (back then, my beliefs now have changed!) in being destroyed, but of course I always believed in Vader coming back (back then to the the light, now back from the dead and darkside again!)..can you spot the difference? How I died...and how my poor precious Vader died?**_

 _Oh...that...kind of makes sense..._

 _ **KR: If only I had taken up on his offer, then our darkside children would be ruling the galaxy and everything would be at peace. No stupid senate, to ruin everything...I worked so hard for!**_

 _Would I exist...?_

 _ **KR: How should I know? But no...at least not this version of you. Vader would never have allowed Leia to date a scoundrel...I wouldn't have approved of it either...not cool enough...**_

 _Who would you have approved of?_

 _ **KR: Darkside Luke.**_

 _HER BROTHER?!_

 _ **KR: Well, yeah. I wouldn't want the Vader blood to be polluted...**_

 _Vader...don't you mean Skywalker...?_

 _ **KR: Nope, Vader would've been our new family name. How cool...and that is going to be our new family name...or Ren...no Vader is way cooler!**_

 _Creepy..._

* * *

"Get out of my precious son!" Luke swatted Ben furiously, like he was possessed by a darkside monster that loved Vader.

* * *

 _Precious...? Son...?_

 _ **KR: And you wonder why I burned his Academy down...?!**_

 _I can't believe he did this to you. This is too funny!_

 _ **KR: Hey! It's still your body!**_

 _Ah...that's true...ouch...stupid uncle...!_

* * *

"Uncle! It's, me Ben!" shouted Ben the moment Little Kylo switched places with him, since Kylo couldn't take the heat and the humiliation of that silly, cartoonish defeat, anymore.

As soon as Luke heard Ben's voice, he stopped exorcizing him in this way and lifted him up to his eye level. "Prove it." He stared hard and suspiciously into Ben's eyes, as if he was making sure this was indeed his Ben, but not this crazy Kylo he was dealing with earlier. Because if that were the case, he would fling him right back over his knee, until Kylo had gone into another galaxy...in another timeline...in another life...

Ben's mind scrambled to find something that didn't sound too Kylo-like, since he saw his uncle was far from convinced, that he had driven Kylo completely out. "I love you unca." Ben gave him his biggest smile and opened up his arms for a hug.

Ben had clearly chosen the right answer even though he hadn't spoken or acted that way, since he was a toddler, as his uncle cooed at him, despite all the damage he had done and embraced him tightly. "Aww, I love you too, son." Luke whispered into his hair.

Instantly, Ben pushed him away. "Son...I'm your mom!" He stared ahead, stunned by the choice of his own words.

* * *

 _ **KR: What the...**_

 _I was really tired!_

 _ **KR: Obviously! I mean, I was his mom, not you.**_

 _But we are the one and the same..._

 _ **KR: Nope.**_

* * *

"That's not how it works..." Luke's mouth twitched, like he was keeping great laughter in, even though they had been in "a kind of" serious fight over Ben's conflicted soul, barely minutes ago.

"I mean, you are not my mom!" corrected Ben, who blushed over being made fun of like that.

"I know that...I'm just her twin..." His uncle looked far too amused for Ben's liking.

"You know what I mean...you are not my dad!" shouted Ben, as if the those were worst words to say to his uncle, ever.

Luke's grin vanished and he looked unbelievably sad, like someone who had to life in a lie and hide on island somewhere. "I know...I am not the legendary...smuggler Han...Solo." He said the last part, bitterly for some reason. "But I'm a legendary Jedi master." He puffed his chest out with pride.

"You know what I mean!" yelled Ben, annoyed that his uncle had to make everything so difficult and bring the stupid Jedi into it, out of everything.

Luke's brows drew together in thin line. "I am neither your dad...or mom...but I am your surrogate father and master and you have to obey me. Now, why did you do this? You could've really hurt yourself," he scolded and pointed at all the broken things in the room, he could've cut himself on.

"You hurt me. You promised you would never hurt me...on purpose. You really hurt me..." Ben pouted and his uncle enveloped him in another big hug, to make all the hurt and pain go away.

"I'm sorry about that, but I saw no choice...I had to stop you. And I would rather hurt you, then seeing you dead..."

* * *

 _Wow...that's kind of sweet...in a weird way..._

 _ **KR: Aww...so he does have such soft side...that Jedi fool.**_

 _So you are not going to kill him? Your...son?_

 _ **KR: Don't call him that...I have my orders...**_

 _You disowned him...?_

 _ **KR: For not joining the darkside, in a heartbeat. That will teach him...not to be a stupid Jedi!**_

 _I never thought I would say this...but poor uncle..._

 _ **KR: What? I'm very strict. I don't tolerate disobedience. That's how the supreme leader raised me.**_

 _Ah...now I understand...why you are this way...today..._

 _ **KR: What? What do you mean?**_

 _Nothing..._

* * *

"I'm sorry..." said Ben, whose eyes were filling with tears over his uncle's sweet words, that felt like band-aid on his repeatedly broken heart.

"And I will do anything to get my Ben, back. Even die for him," said Luke as he tousled his hair.

* * *

 _ **KR: He can do that.**_

 _Hey!_

 _ **KR: Hey, I died once for him. Equal trade you, know...though he just said die for you, not me...huh...and I'm his mom! Talking about slight against mothers!**_

 _You are so creepy, right now...wait, doesn't that mean my mom as well?! You want her to die...for you...? Because, you kind of died in childbirth...?_

 _ **KR: Hmm...no, you can keep her.**_

 _Phew..._

 _ **KR: Unless she stands in my way for domination of the galaxy...with Vader...**_

 _YOU LEAVE HER ALONE! My mom and Rey! I mean Rey is not Vader...you know what I mean!_

 _(silence)_

 ** _KR:_ _(rambles)_ _Vader also died for Luke...everyone dies for him, don't you think it's his turn already...? (pout)_**

 _Sigh...and why can I suddenly see descriptions of what you are doing...?!_

 ** _KR: I haven't got a clue...this is your brain and you don't even know the rules in here!_**

 _I think we better get out of her quickly!_

 ** _KR:...you don't say... (facepalm)_**

 _I mean, I have to get out of here...you life here..._

 ** _KR: Hrmp...I don't like it here...at all... (pouts)_**

* * *

"You would...die for...? What...Ben?" Ben looked around the destroyed office as if he was looking for another person to show up, with the name Ben that his uncle cared so much about, that he was willing to risk everything for him. The one from Luke's dreamworld, the one with the perfect Ben.

Luke shook his head. "You, silly. I love you...my child." He flicked his forehead, like he was marking him as his own.

"You do...?" Ben rubbed the sore spot between his eyes.

"More than you can ever imagine," he lifted him up from his lap and rested his forehead against his, like he was little kitten.

Ben blushed over all the sappiness, but at the same time felt warm fill him inside that shooed away the cold darkness.

"You also promised me to stop destroying my things, though I care way more about you...than some dead objects," said Luke as he put him down and held him protectively, like he was afraid someone was trying to take his child away and he glared into the unknown.

* * *

 _Okay, uncle stop with that sappiness!_

 _ **KR: Yeah...you are making me cry...**_

 _You can cry...?_

 _ **KR: Of course I can cry, you fool! (cries)**_

* * *

"You do?" asked Ben, like it was the biggest news in the universe, as he took in the destruction of his office. Destroyed desk, books and normal shelves slashed and broken into pieces, all the Jedi relics were broken and shattered all over the cracked floor. The walls were broken, what seemed to be by a brute force or an earthquake. Even the sofa and the blanket, looked like they had been ripped into by an angry animal...with laser claws.

His uncle nodded to his question, like nothing else mattered but him. "Of course, you are the center of my galaxy." He kissed Ben on top of his head and hugged him closer.

* * *

 _STOOOOP!_

 _ **KR: Are you feeling guilty...for what you did to his academy?**_

 _I...don't know...I'm so confused...I don't even remember what I did...or why I did it..._

 _ **KR: I'm confused as well...I knew Luke could be sappy...but, sheesh...he must get that part from stupid Anakin...I was never that sentimental...oh wait...you are breaking my heart...shit...that was corny...no wonder Vader killed me!**_

 _Shut up, you are ruining the moment!_

 _ **KR: Why do you want to watch such a sappy moment with your uncle?**_

 _I'm kind of imagining that he is my father...I mean...if dad were to take his place...I mean Rey!_

 _ **KR: You have some BIG issues.**_

 _SAYS WHO?!_

* * *

"These object can be replaced, but you can't be. So please take better care of yourself...for your sake and your family...for us...and for Rey," continued Luke in his voice, that could make the sun come up during the pitch black night or the one that could bring Vader from the darkside. Especially the Rey part, it filled Ben with indescribably warmth.

* * *

 _ **KR: Are you crying?**_

 _No, are you? (crying)_

 _ **KR: Not telling... (crying)**_

 _Well, I'm not! (crying more)_

 _ **KR: You are such a liar... (crying the most)**_

* * *

Tears streamed uncontrollably down Ben's cheek over his uncle's words, as guilt and pain washed over him, by hearing that someone loved him as dearly as that. It made his body tremble with shocks, like he was grieving something that could never be brought...or taken back...or fixed.

"I'm so sorry unca...but it wasn't me...it was Kylo...for real...he took over...it really happened...it was not like with the Falcon, this wasn't me...you have to believe me." Ben choked on his words, as he struggled to convince him of his innocence.

"Sush, sush calm down." His uncle had him lean on his shoulder and allowed him to cry. "You also promised me to always be yourself." He rubbed his back to help him get his crying under control.

"But...it just kind of happened...I don't know why...I'm scared, unca. Why did this happen? Was it darkside?" Ben sobbed and raised his head up, to meet his uncle's soft eyes. Like he could help him through everything.

* * *

 ** _KR: Yeah right... (snorts)_**

 _True, he didn't help me...in the long run... (depressed)_

* * *

"Don't worry. We will figure it out...do you have any idea why he did this...?" said Luke with the voice of the one could do the impossible, like blowing up a Death Star with closed eyes.

* * *

 ** _KR: Because of the force. He couldn't have done it otherwise...stupid Jedi. Stupid force ghost Obi helped him. Vader would've killed him if not for stupid force ghost Obi._**

 _Would you have wanted that...?_

 ** _KR: No._**

 _Oh...?_

 ** _KR: I want to do it myself...for having Vader die for him..._**

 _Erm...sheesh, you guys need family therapy._

 _ **KR: Same to you. (starts to ramble again about Vader) but of course, that wouldn't have happened if Vader had killed him back then...erm...not sure...which would've been better actually...Vader probably wouldn't have wanted that...but he didn't even knew Luke was our son back then...**_

 _(Ben covers his ears so he doesn't have listen to more of Kylo's crazy ramblings about Vader.)_

 ** _KR: Hey! I will remember that when you start prattling about Rey..._**

 _I thought she and him were one and the same...?_

 ** _KR: Why you little... (turns on a saber inside his mind and starts slashing)_**

 _You better not do any damage to my brain!_

 ** _KR: You mean more...?_**

 _(Ben and Kylo fight over the saber with tug of war of the force. It explodes and they are left with a destroyed one, in two halves. They jump on each other and fight with their fits, until they are both exhausted and call it a day, as they are still both trapped with each other and need one another..for now)_

 _ **KR: I will...destroy you. (wheezing)**_

 _Yeah...yeah... (heavy breathing)_

* * *

"Kylo hates the Jedi," said little Ben bitterly to his uncle's question and snuffled after his crying. He wasn't sure whether he fell into that "I Hate Jedi" category as well, since he hated the Jedi code with passion.

"Oh really, why?" asked Luke, even though he kind of knew that, with Kylo shouting that while destroying his office and he wiped Ben's tear-stricken face with a handkerchief from his pocket.

* * *

 _ **KR: I need...a reason? They...suck... (panting, out of breath after their physical fight)**_

 _I thought you were starting to like Luke...from a certain point of view...you were crying over him earlier...or well his...sweet words... (also panting)_

 _ **KR: He has his...moments...if we would only join the darkside, then we could be one happy family.**_

 _Erm...darkside doesn't actually approve of family..._

 _ **KR: Well, neither does the stupid lightside and the darkside is way cooler, thank you very much!**_

 _(Ben covers his ears again)_

 ** _KR: How rude!_**

* * *

"He's a Vader worshipper." Ben grabbed his mouth in panic, when speaking that forbidden name and looked scared, like his uncle was going to pull out the hated fish oil, which technically should've been brought out sooner, as Kylo had shouted Vader nearly non stop. But Ben wasn't even sure if the medical bag had survived his tantrum/meltdown.

"Don't worry you can speak freely now. A Vader...but your are not...?" said his uncle softly and Ben sighed in relief, that he was allowed to talk about Vader without repercussions.

"Why would I be...? I never knew the guy...though I feel like I do...or at least...Anakin...Rey...but he looked a bit cool," said Ben innocently and smiled as he thought about his Rey.

"Cool? You know what he did to us, your family." Luke frowned at him like he was smiling because of how cool Vader was, but not Rey, but to Luke they were kind of one and the same. Something dangerous, that was messing with his nephew's mind. His uncle was also very unhappy, that he had chosen Vader as a rolemodel or someone to chase after, out of everyone in their famous family, but, of course Ben didn't even know Vader was family at that time, which made it even weirder for Luke. Where did that obsession come from? The darkside?

"Yeah, yeah you don't have to lecture me...again." Ben covered his ears as he had no longing to listen to that lecture again and had no idea what his uncle was really thinking about.

* * *

 _Then how come we know..?_

 ** _KR: Don't overthink it. Just enjoy...the ride..._**

 _H_ _mm..._

* * *

His uncle uncovered his ears, however not to scold him, but to get more information: "You kept asking to get stories about Vader...you even called him...yours? Was it because of this Kylo? And also this...Rey thing?"

"I don't know...but, no Rey is all me. She needs me." Ben smiled sadly, as he thought about her alone in the desert, without him...even though it hadn't happened yet.

Luke didn't comment on the Rey part. "You better get rid of Kylo. He's nothing but trouble. He's the reason you are here, right?"

"He is...?" said Ben.

Luke nodded and said in spooky voice. "He's your darkside..."

"My...I thought he was just some imaginary friend." Ben gawked, as if he his uncle was speaking about something he had only heard about in myths to scare little children.

"Maybe both."

"So that's why he could take over...and he likes Vader so much, because he's the darkside in me?" asked Ben and pointed at himself, as if he could pinpoint Kylo's exact location.

"Yes."

"But it's not like Vader was the only Sith. He only ever talks about him...says he has some special connection to him...like there some kind of a family. Weird huh...? Like he really loves Vader...I mean really loves...him..." Ben said conspiratorially.

"Don't listen to him," was the only thing Luke said to his conspiracy theory, though he looked a little creeped out, which was weird since it was his family love that saved Vader from the darkside. But, of course, Ben didn't know about that...at that time.

"I won't...I only love Rey and I still want to go home...and get her," said Ben and stared ahead, as he if was seeing her in the distance and declared with passion, words that lived with him for a long time for some reason:"Wait for me until I return. Thing will be different I promise." He blew a kiss and smiled stupidly at nothing, while his uncle looked seriously worried about him.

* * *

 _ **KR: You should've have listened to me! I knew there was connection! Always listen to me! I'm always right! That was my Vader's line, by the way...that promise to me...which he kept! By coming back as Rey...but I thought he would come back as darkside...oh well, Vader is just sleeping inside of her. Time to go and wake him/her up! Force awakens!**_

 _You are not doing that and no, you are not always right...but I have to admit...you were right about this...him, Vader being family...our family..._

 _ **KR: Of course I was! :D**_

 _Seeing you smile, creeps me out a bit..._

 _ **KR: :(**_

 _Fine you can smile..._

 _ **KR: :)**_

 _Darth Padmé..._

 _ **KR: XO Don't call me that! My name is Kylo REN! XO**_

 _I know..._

 _ **KR: Or Padmé Vader... ;)**_

 _Huh?_

 _ **KR: I was married to Vader! :D**_

 _Oh, boy..._

 ** _KR: No, I was a girl. ;)_**

 _I'm not listening! (really creeped out by his "evil" grandmother's flirting)_

 _ **KR:(outraged at her stupid, naughty grandson)** **I wasn't flirting!**_

* * *

"I know...but you can't go home yet. Not after this. We will try to reach your mom and dad again tomorrow, okay? Are you hurt anywhere?" His uncle checked Ben's head, like he had bumped it hard and gotten concussion, because while else would he be staring at nothing, blowing kisses and giving love confessions?

Under Luke's inspection, the memory of what he had done to him earlier (and Kylo), flashed back into Ben's mind and his anger returned, full force.

He jumped off his uncle's lap and pointed at him accusingly, like he was holding a saber. "I will tell mom you hit me!"

"You...? I thought it was Kylo," said Luke smugly.

"Erm..." Ben was cornered and lowered his accusing finger/saber.

"And what happened to your talking strike...?" pointed Luke out, with a wider and evil smirk and folded his arms, like villain who had trapped the hero.

"It hasn't officially started yet..." muttered Ben shamefully, that he had destroyed his defence that easily.

The grin changed into a sad and guilty expression. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you. Did it hurt...? Here, let me heal you." His uncle reached out for him, but Ben jumped away from him.

"I'm still telling her...and then she won't allow you to keep me anymore," said Ben darkly, like that was Luke's biggest fear, who stiffened like that was indeed the case.

* * *

 _ **KR: Keeping you? Are you a pet?**_

 _Kinda..._

* * *

"Oh really...then I will just tell her what you...and Kylo did to my office!" Luke pointed at the completely destroyed desk before the door, which was only small part of the damage Ben/Kylo had done.

Ben inhaled sharply and backed away in fear and horror, as he really saw the full extend of the damage and realised all the trouble he would get into, for all the destruction he had done in such short span of time. "No, you can't do that! She will kill me!" He grabbed his head in pain and desperation. "But I still want my mom...and dad...I want them...I WANT THEM! I WANT REY!" He shouted as if his life depended on it.

"Okay, fine! I give up! Wait here." Luke stepped over the broken wood of the desk to get to the unbreakable door.

"Wait...?" said Ben with horror, as he hated that word with passion.

The door opened after one flick of Luke's finger, like it was the most easiest door in the galaxy to open. "There, don't move." He pointed at him sternly, to stay rooted on the spot. "I will be right back." The door closed behind him with a heavy thud.

* * *

 _What now? Is this one of those what if scenarios, in this case where he finally brings Rey to me...? I wouldn't hate that... :)_

 ** _KR: No, this really happened._**

 _Oh...that doesn't sound so good... :(_

 ** _KR: So pessimistic...but you are both right...and wrong... ;)_**

 _?_

* * *

Minutes felt like hours to Ben, who paced nervously, but carefully around the demolished room, despite his uncle command to not move. But, didn't he just mean, don't move from this room? But, he couldn't even if he wanted, he had tried to break out the room with disastrous consequences. Or did he mean, don't move or you might step on glass and cut yourself? Or was there something else...like he wouldn't be able to move? Be literally stuck there?

Ben hated waiting because that always made his mind go to dark places. What if his uncle had locked him inside that room and was never coming back? What if, this would be the real punishment for all he had done? Him, slowly losing his mind, trapped in that room forever, that couldn't even be destroyed with the force to break out (but you could destroy everything inside of it for some reason) and starve to death...oh wait, there was food inside that room...no it was inside the desk! For some reason though the fridge looked okay, must have been protected with a heavy force shield, which should've been put on other things as well. Weird priorities...But, nevertheless Ben hated feeling trapped...it made him feel claustrophobic...though this office had windows...maybe he could call for help...but did sound even reach outside...anymore..?

That dark room felt awful alike his mind, that had been broken beyond repair and was impossible to break out of, no matter how much he fought to get away...into the light...

"BEN ORGANA-SOLO!"

Ben jumped up at the sound of his unmistakable mother's voice, which drew him straight from his dark thought spiralling into something worse. "Mom...?!"

Just as his mind was about to give him a panic attack by being locked inside this room/mind, that made him feel so claustrophobic, his uncle opened that creepy door to step inside. He closed the door behind him, while shielding something in his hand.

"BEN SOLO!"

His mother called again to grab his attention, which made Ben jump of out of his skin, as he sure it was just her voice inside of his head. Especially since he didn't see her anywhere. He looked frantically around for her, not sure if he wanted to see her in person or not.

"Mom...?" he asked, as if he was afraid of the answer to be both yes or no. Yes, because he was in big trouble, no because he wanted to see her, badly and needed her so much.

"I'm right here," she said, when Luke uncovered what he held in his hand, which turned out to be holographic viewer.

Ben had excepted and kind of hoped and yet feared at the same time, to see his mother in own person right before his eyes and yet despite it being impossible for her to travel this far in such a short span of time, was greatly disappointed to see her only as a hologram. She stood on holographic viewer that his uncle clearly went to fetch from a storage for an awful long time or maybe they had first conversed through their mindlink to spare some time, so she could get right into scolding him. However, his mother as a hologram did not make her look any less scary, where she glowered at him with folded arms and held the expression that said, you are in so much trouble, young man! Like she was thinking of grounding him for life, for whatever he had done...

* * *

 _He really called mom?!_

 _ **KR: You are so screwed...**_

 _Wait...if he could contact her so easily (in the mind I mean), wouldn't he just have done that when I really turned dark...? Into you, I mean and joined the First Order?_

 _ **KR: Well...**_

 _What? No, he did not do that..._

 _ **KR: Well...**_

 _I don't remember that...I would remember that!_

 _ **KR: You don't seem to remember anything...**_

 _Maybe this was just a recording, like the one she send to me to apologising for lying about my heritage all these years..._

 ** _KR: You mean lying about super awesome Vader?! X(_**

 _(Ben ignores him)_

 ** _KR: XO (screams in frustration)_**

 _Such a baby..._

* * *

 _Next up: Motherly and fatherly attention..._


	36. Motherly and fatherly attention

Chapter thirty six - Motherly and fatherly attention.

"Is it a recording...?" echoed Little Ben, what Big Ben had previously thought. Like he was sure his uncle kept a recording of his mother, ready to lecture him in worst case scenarios. That was far more likely than he had gotten a hold of his ever busy mom and for something like this.

"No. I'm not a recording, mister. You are in deep, deep trouble!" shouted the hologram.

"Sorry mom..." Ben still didn't believe it wasn't a recording, it wasn't until she gasped when seeing the destroyed room and started to list his newest "crimes" that he became very scared and understood there was no escape from her wrath.

"Don't sorry me! What is that I hear, you refuses to go to sleep and on top of it, you steal from and wreck your uncle office...?!" she lectured and looked so angry and disappointed, that Ben kind of wished he had been trapped inside that locked room forever, instead of facing her.

"He hit me." He pointed at Luke, to shift the blame at least, momentarily, somewhere else.

"What..?!" His mom's piercing gaze was suddenly on Luke, who jumped up in surprise, and had not been expecting that cheap attack from Ben.

"I only swatted him..." Luke said hurriedly as he scrambled to find a legit excuse for harming his nephew in his care. "I had to, he was out of control. Darkside! He had a lightsaber!" He waved his arm frantically as Leia's frown only got deeper and deeper after each pathetic excuse his uncle put forward.

Leia took that in and her shoulders slumped down, as someone with the all of galaxy resting on her shoulder. "I understand...don't let it happen again. Same to you Ben. Family does not hurt each other...anymore."

"Anymore...?" Ben looked surprised at his uncle, who was still shaken up after Leia's scolding so he couldn't or didn't want to answer him. But, Ben had no knowledge of anyone hurting anyone in this family...at least not seriously.

* * *

 ** _KR: She's talking about your grandfather._**

 _I know that...now...wait mine..? Not yours...anymore?_

 ** _KR:...it's complicated..._**

* * *

"Ben find a corner and think about what you did." His mom was back to schedule and for once, her attention was back on her wayward child. She pointed at corner in far back, one of the few places in the office, that wasn't riddled with damage.

"But...it wasn't my fault...Kylo did it..." sputtered Ben.

"NOW!" thundered his mom with the same rage, as if she had turned into Darth Vader.

Ben ran to a corner.

* * *

 ** _KR: She has certainly has you whipped...she just a hologram there...she can't even touch you, only yell..._**

 _She's my mother! I know better than to disobey her...in front of her.._

 ** _KR: True...mother can be scary...just wish Luke knew that...then he wouldn't be such a prick._**

 _But aunt Beru raised him...I mean he had a mother..._

 ** _KR: And your uncle Owen did nothing...? Ah...he is the one, who ruined him, if Beru had only done it...maybe he would've have been different...uncle's can easily ruin you..._**

 _True...and I don't believe for a second...your lie that Luke called her when I turned dark for real._

 ** _KR: Why not...?_**

 _Because then obviously I would've turned back...instantly._

 ** _KR: Oh really...?_**

 _Yebb._

 ** _KR: Interesting..._**

* * *

"Have you thought about what you did?" asked his mom, after giving Ben permission to leave the corner after some time.

Ben nodded.

"And why it was wrong...?" she said and narrowed her eyes at him, as if he better give her a good answer.

Ben shrugged without meeting her eyes and digged his toe into the cracked floor, as he didn't really have an answer or didn't care.

"Ben, you know what I think about destroying stuff. It's always wrong," she lectured, unhappy that he didn't give her a single answer.

* * *

 _ **KR: Like the Deathstars...**_

 _That's doesn't count..._

 _ **KR: A lots of people died!**_

 _Mom's home planet was destroyed by a Deathstar!_

 ** _KR: So she was allowed to kill lots of people as well...?_**

 _Erm...she saved more people by doing that..._

 ** _KR: Hmm...sounds hypocritical to me...naughty daughter..._**

 _That is true...that she kind of is a hypocrite...though I would never say that her face!_

 ** _KR: Chicken..._**

* * *

"I'm so sorry mommy...can you forgive me?" said Ben anxiously, since he mostly cared about getting her forgiveness. If he couldn't get her forgiveness, then he was doomed, that was what he thought at least. Nothing else mattered.

His mother smiled sadly, like she could tell how he felt and her holographic form reached out to touch him tenderly on the cheek, even though it went right through him. "Of course I can, I will always forgive you my little angel, but you should apologise to your uncle not me."

"Sorry uncle," Ben hung his head.

"Just don't let it happen again," replied his uncle and smiled, happy that his mother was getting through to him and he was finally listening to reason.

"And you will never harm our baby boy again," said Leia in such frosty voice to Luke who even froze in fear, that Ben was surprised the room didn't also freeze over. But that wasn't the only thing that surprised him.

* * *

 _Our?_

 ** _KR:..._**

* * *

"Our...?" asked Ben, baffled by that phrasing. Since when had he come a co-owned property?

"He's your family," said his mother matter of factly to both of them, as if that would explain everything. She gave his uncle a death stare, who gulped and stammered.

"Of course he is and I will never harm him...but what should I do if he goes out of control again?"

* * *

 ** _KR: He will try to kill you._**

 _Again?_

 ** _KR: I told you he was stupid..._**

* * *

"If he acts up, just call me and I will deal with him...but of course he knows better than to behave like this, right Ben, my little angel?" She turned towards Ben, with that look that said "behave or else."

"Yes mom...he tried to kill me." He pointed at Luke at his side, who gasped in outrage over being outed like that.

"What?!" Leia was simmering with rage. "Is this true?" Her eyes bore a hole into Luke, who wanted to run and hide on some island, far, far away.

Ben grinned evilly, as his uncle shivering spoke volumes about this guilt.

"Hey, don't say it like that." His uncle said with false bravado. "She will misunderstand...it was not like that..." said Luke, who tried in vain to calm his sister down, who was known as the Hutt Slayer, because of having used a chain to choke Jabba the Hut to death and judging from her "darkside" look, she really wanted to let her brother meet the same fate for hurting her boy.

"Then what did he mean?" she asked through clenched teeth, as if she was thinking about, at least biting Luke's head off.

"He tried to impale me with his lightsaber," said Ben carelessly, but managed to keep a straight face, when in reality he wanted to laugh maniacally at his uncle expression of fear. It was so kriffing delicious, though he felt the slightest guilt for taking such pleasure in it after what his uncle had said to him. Just the slightest, since this was too good of an opportunity to skip.

"WHAT!" His mother looked a wampa whose baby was in danger and now she was out for a blood revenge.

"I didn't know it was him...he broke into my office while I was sleeping...I sleep with the lightsaber to guard myself against outside threats...and he went inside my mind," said Luke pitifully as he begged for mercy.

"What...? Why did he do that?" Suddenly her eyes were back on Ben, who had wisely left out that details of the story, but of course his uncle dragged them out to make him look good and Ben the bad one.

"That's no excuse," said Ben, who was mad his uncle got off so easily after all that buildup and he had no longing to go into that he was trying to get father's number, that didn't even exist in the first place, as his father had left him there as a punishment for trying to steal the Falcon. But for some reason, Ben had believed he could call him whenever to go home and get Rey. What a fool.

Leia turned her head back to Luke, who groveled for her forgiveness with his face.

"But I'm really, really sorry. I didn't mean to hurt or scare him...you have to believe me. It won't happen again."

"Broke into...I guess I will have to hear the whole story later. Be good...both of you. No more breaking in...or trying to kill each other," she scolded.

Ben's face crumbled, since he was right back at where he started. "But I really want to go home...please..."

"I know sweetie, but this isn't the right way. You have to focus on your training...it's for your own good. We are just trying to protect you. You know that, right...?" she said as sweetly, as if she was giving him candy after some nasty medicine.

"But uncle tried to kill me," Ben said on the verge of tears. Isn't that enough of reason to go home?

"That's because you were naughty and being in some place you weren't supposed to be," said his mother, like he stolen some cookies instead of nearly being murdered in the night.

"But..." began Ben, to try to reason with her.

"You have to behave and listen to your uncle," said his mother, who always held the last word.

"Master," pointed Luke out.

"Sorry, listen to your master." She turned towards Luke with a stern frown. "You are still his family, you won't neglect that duty. You will shower him with all the affection I can't give him and more, since I'm not there to do it as much as I would like to do." As to demonstrate, she waved her hand into the hair like she was petting, pouting Ben on the head, but once again it went right through him. And that "ghost touch" made him feel stab in the heart.

"Of course. I'm his stand-in father," said Luke with a pride and did the petting for her, which made Ben feel a tiny bit better.

Leia nodded and smiled, happy that he understood. "Exactly."

"I don't want that...though dad sucks," mumbled Ben.

"What?" asked his mother, as if daring him to repeat that.

"When can I go home...?" pleaded Ben, as he did not want to go into a fight with her.

"Soon sweetie, as soon as you have gotten rid of the darkness..." his mother smiled so sweetly at him, like he was being kept afterschool to finish some homework, instead of being far, far away from home without knowing when he would return, if he would ever return.

"When will that be...?" asked Ben, as the possibility that it could in fact be never, crossed his already anxious mind.

"It's up to you...ah sorry gotta run, the emergency meeting is about to start. Be good, love you son. Have to run," she blew a kiss and waved at him in a goodbye.

"Mom...lov..." Ben embraced the hologram just as it disappeared. He stared at his empty hands. They felt more empty, even though he wouldn't have been able to embrace her, just to be able to see her was enough, he thought. But now she was gone and he felt so sad, as if this could've been the last time he would ever see her...

* * *

 _Mom..._

 ** _KR: Vader..._**

 _(Ben glowers at him)_

 ** _KR: What? I miss him..._**

 _I have noticed..._

 ** _KR: You missed Rey...even before you knew her.._**

 _That's...because it's Rey..._

 ** _KR: Hmm..._**

* * *

"There, do you feel better now?" His uncle put the viewer in his pocket and patted him on the shoulder, as if they were back to hard reset. In spite of the fact that evidence of what happened that night, lay all around them. Debris everywhere, like several thermal detonators that been thrown into the room at the same time.

"She called just to yell at me!?" Ben was red in face. He had needed for his mother presence for so long and finally when he got her, she only lectured him instead of comforted or brought him home.

"She didn't just yell at you...are you ready to go to sleep now...? You know she will very mad if you don't go to sleep..." Luke said and hoped that threat would end further discussion before it began.

"She never has any time for me...except to lecture..." muttered Ben pitifully.

"That's not true...she loves you very much."

"I know that..." said Ben, but the words felt hollow.

"And your father loves you as well."

Ben shrugged, not quite believing that.

"Do you want me to call him ?" asked his uncle, as if that would make things better.

"To do what...have him yell at me?" Ben snorted over that ridicules suggestion.

"He will not just yell at you..." Luke scoffed.

"So he will yell at me...?"

"Well..."

Before Luke could answer, they heard a very soft and muffled ringing in the distance.

"What is that...?" They said both at the same time. "Who could be calling in the dead of the night?"

* * *

 ** _KR: You are in sync...creepy..._**

 _Who is calling...?_

 ** _KR: Really...you don't know?_**

 _No..._

 ** _KR: (shakes head in frustration, like a teacher with a dumb student)_**

 _Hey!_

* * *

Quickly, uncle and nephew looked around the destroyed office for the source of the sound.

After short search, they found that the ringing was coming from Ben's duffle bag that had fallen off him, when he was busy being Kylo and destroying everything.

Luke picked up the com-link, that somehow had ended up in Ben's bag. "Did you steal this again?" He frowned at him, like he wanted to call his mom to have her yell at him for that, on top of everything else.

"I don't remember doing that...I must have taken it by accident," Ben said honestly, though subconsciously he must have packed it in case of an emergency. "Who is...calling?"

Luke's eyes widened in shock, as if Vader was calling from the dead. "Your father." He turned to Ben, who was baffled by the news.

* * *

 _Dad called back?! Why didn't I just go home then...and get Rey? If it is true that he already forgave me...though mini me doesn't seem to believe it..._

 ** _KR: Hmm..._**

* * *

"I don't want to talk with him..." Ben said hesitant and turned away stubbornly with crossed arms.

The ringing kept going, the reverberation like his father was calling him, commanding him to turn around, to at least talk with him.

"I thought you wanted to go home," said Luke and looked at the com-link in his hands, like it could answer his nephew's constant contradictory behaviour.

"Yeah...but I don't want him to scold me...he will right...?" asked Ben, as if that was the most frightful thing in the galaxy to be scolded by your father.

"Not necessarily...maybe he doesn't know what you did. Maybe, he just wants to talk?" commented Luke, who knew all about really dangerous fathers, but Ben didn't know that, at that time.

Ben frowned, as there was no chance of his father only calling to have a nice father-son chat. "He must have gotten that stupid message you send him earlier...where you told him I was mad...and now he is mad at me...without even knowing what I did..."

"You heard that?" said Luke surprised, since Ben was in kind of a coma when he made that call.

"Yes...why is that thing still ringing...why doesn't he give up...?" Like he gave up on me, he thought the last part and pouted, miserably. So unfair...

"You better answer it." Luke handed him the com-link. "He doesn't like waiting."

"He doesn't like waiting...?" Ben parroted his words with great disbelief, since his life was nothing but waiting, not to mention what about poor Rey? In the future...?

"Just answer it, Ben." Luke broke through, before Ben could feel sorry for Rey's impending future, yet again.

"Ben...?" said the unmistakable gruff voice of his father, hesitant, as if he was expecting someone else to pick up, when Ben pressed the button to accept his call.

* * *

 _Didn't I ask him to...? I mean if I asked, then this dream didn't matter...why didn't he take me home...? I must have asked him to...or at least go and pick up Rey..._

 ** _KR: You will get your answer soon enough..._**

 _I mean...he can't have been so angry with me for breaking uncle's office, that he left me there...for good? I mean it was Jedi stuff, why would he care...? Right...?_

 ** _KR: SHUT UP! YOU WILL GET YOUR ANSWER!_**

* * *

"Dad...father...sir..." replied Ben into the com-link, as if he wasn't sure either, who he was talking to and scrambled to find the right answer, to not anger the man further who held the fate of his life and future in his hands.

"Sir? Don't call me that, I'm your father not your boss," barked his father. "Why in corellia did you destroy your uncle's office...?"

Ben could easily imagining him standing in front of him, with his old time glower, whenever he did something "naughty" that his father couldn't wrap his head around. Which was a lot. So much in fact, that rarely did his father bother with him at all and left the dealing of him to someone else. Especially the darkside voice in his head...

"I..."

 _Mom told him, of course she did. Of course he only called to scold me._ He felt his chest constrict as the hope of something else, was taken away from him. He looked toward the broken desk in front of the unbreakable door, as if he had hoped for it to getting fixed along with his soul, by some kind of miracle, by hearing from his father. It was foolish of him to hope for something impossible. His father's dark words when he caught him trying to steal the Falcon and send him away for it, "You are no son of mine. I don't care what you do," had truly broken him and nearly sent him to the darkside. It didn't matter that Luke said it he most likely meant Kylo. Ben wasn't sure, their father-son relationship could ever be the same again after being hurt like that.

"I thought I told you to stop ruining his stuff and behave," his father's words drew him from his negative thoughts and gave him a weak hope, despite them being in form of a scolding.

"When...?" Ben thought back to the dream, which he thought had been real and for a moment, hoped it was true. Where his father did in fact come and bring him home, but was forced to leave him behind for some reason, because of Luke. Not because he wanted it.

"When? It doesn't matter when! You know that doing this was wrong," said his father, who had no interest in keeping Ben's dreamworld alive.

"So, it's okay to steal his stuff?" snapped Ben, who hated that his father hadn't indulged him and crushed his dream reality once again, by failing him.

Luke shook his head with a disapproval over Ben's naughty question.

"Of course not! I didn't even know you had done that. Stealing is wrong. Whatever you stole give it back to him, now!" shouted his father at him, like he had never stolen anything in his life.

Ben was unfazed as he was nowhere near him and glowered at the com-link, the one who had started all of his troubles over the past days and nights, because of some childish hope, Ben had thought his father really wanted him to call him.

"I'm speaking into it. So that would mean you have to stop lecturing me you thief...you hypocrite."

Luke, who so far had only watch the tense father-son interaction on the sidelines, gasped over the audacity of Ben's words.

"Hypocrite? Now you listening to me, you don't talk back to me like that, ever!" Warned his father, as if he was planning on dropping by to scold him in person and put him in timeout to fix his poor attitude, but that was never going to happen. Him dropping by because of something like that...or dropping by at all.

"Or what, you are not here. Just like always. What are you going to do? I hope the Falcon gets destroyed...or stolen!" shouted Ben, but changed destroyed into stolen, since he really didn't want to destroy the Falcon. Or did he..?

"Ben!" His uncle looked at him with great disbelief, like he had just threatened a dear family member of theirs, instead of a dead, but dear object.

"I will call your mother," said his father darkly, as he thought the same way about the Falcon. The same Falcon, that he had sent Ben away for trying to steal. Ben was now hundred percent convinced he had indeed done that. That he loved the Falcon more than him...if even loved him.

"Erm...I'm so sorry..." Ben cockiness instantly evaporated while thinking of his mom angry reaction, if she knew that he acted that way, right after she had lectured him so harshly. Anxiously he looked at the door, like she was about to burst through it at any minute, to give him the yelling of a lifetime for acting this way towards his father, no matter how much he deserved it.

"Good. Ben, what's going on with you? Why are you acting like this? This is not like you. I thought we talked about this..." said his father in the softest voice possible.

Despite using a voice as soft as cotton to rub the wound that opened on Ben's soul, it did little to damper Ben's rage towards him. In fact it hurt him. The hope hurt him, he would rather have no hope.

"We did not talk, you yelled at me...and left me here...for good..."

"I did not yell. Don't lie. And I left you there, because I had no choice. You know that...don't blame me. And it is not forever, I told you that. Seriously, what's going on with you kid? Why are you so...angry?" said his father, who seemed to be getting more confused as the call kept going on. Like he was living in different reality, where his relationship with Ben was perfect and they never fought. Probably with that same perfect Ben, that Luke dreamed about...having as his son.

"No choice...no choice! Were you Jedi mind tricked?!" shouted Ben, mad that couldn't even take responsibility for leaving him there. He didn't take responsibility for him and he didn't take responsibility for abandoning him.

"Something like that," replied Han, like it was the truth to everything that Ben had been seeking.

"What...?" Ben's anger vanished like a balloon that had been destroyed with a pin, as he hadn't been expected that answer and since it fit in no way with what his uncle had told him.

* * *

 _What?_

 ** _KR:..._**

* * *

"You Jedi mind tricked him?" Ben turned to his uncle with a fearsome glower, for keeping that away from him.

"No," replied his uncle without hesitation, though Ben felt there was more to the story.

"It doesn't matter now. Why did you do these things...and steal a com-link? Why are you even still up? You were supposed to be in bed hours ago. You get so cranky when you don't sleep," said his father, who had no interesting in speaking about force-things more than necessary.

His babyish tone enraged Ben. "I'm not cranky!"

"And you know, you don't steal things...except maybe in emergencies," his lecture felt forced and unconvincing.

* * *

 ** _KR: Great rolemodel as always...such a hypocrite..._**

 _Hey...well...you do have a point... (sulks)_

 _ **KR: You have been awfully quiet...are you alright...? (genuine concern)**_

 _I'm just paying attention...and you told me to shut up. (annoyed)_

 ** _KR: Always good to try new things... ;)_**

 _Hey! And shut up! Xo_

 ** _KR: Shutting up..._**

* * *

"It was an emergency," snapped Ben, as it kind of was the truth. He wanted to help his Rey.

"It was...? Are you in danger?" his father's tone changed from stern to worry.

"No. He was just being naughty," replied his uncle, before Han could imagine the worst.

"Ben, don't lie like that. You are in enough trouble already," the stern tone was back.

Ben hated being parented like that from far away. It was too late.

"You are far too late. Mom already scolded me..and punished me for everything."

"I punished him as well," said his uncle, as if that would help the matter.

"Oh...so...I was too late...again. Well, don't do it again. Behave kid!" scolded Han.

"It was Kylo not me!" shouted Ben.

"Well, then you have to get rid of Kylo if you ever want to get home," he said sternly like Kylo was a bad dog that was biting everyone.

* * *

 ** _KR: What's up with that description of me...?_**

 _I think it's fitting._

 ** _KR: (glowers at him)_**

* * *

"But...but I...just want to go home...now...please...you promised..." said Ben, clinging to the last bit of hope, that got dashed away, the moment his father answered back.

"I'm sorry. You belong with your uncle," he said firmly.

"So, you have finally seen the light." His uncle grinned victoriously, like his father ever had another opinion.

"No, I belong with you and mom," pleaded Ben, that didn't want his uncle to win, this villainous uncle scared him. He wanted the nice one.

"You're safe with him. He can teach you stuff and help you get rid of the darkness," said his father, but just as with the lecture about stealing, it was if he didn't believe his own words.

Ben pursed his lip in anger, that his father didn't even seem to trust his uncle and yet left him, with him. "Uncle hit me," he said through clenched teeth. Not that he thought it would make any difference, for his father that didn't care for him.

Han gasped. "Whaaat?!" he shouted, like he was witnessing someone stealing the Falcon in front of his eyes. Ben was surprised by his over reaction. Maybe he could convince him after all?

"Swatted him. He was swinging a lightsaber without permission. I had to stop him," said his uncle, like it was Jedi protocol to react to it that way.

"Why was he using a lightsaber in the first place?!" screamed his father hysterical, as if Ben had been running around with scissors, instead of using something that was mandatory in Jedi training.

"Jedi training," replied his uncle, as if that would explain everything.

"So a part of his training was to wreck your office...? Then I fail to see what he did wrong," said his father confused and irritated to be led astray like that and especially having to discuss Jedi things.

Ben smirked. Only his father, could reach that conclusion...maybe he could get away with it...?

"No, he took an ancient saber and wrecked my office during a tantrum," said Luke and shoot Ben a warning look, as if he was thinking of doing it again.

It annoyed Ben greatly, that they were both talking about him like he wasn't there. Though he was used to people discussing him behind locked door, it always hurt. Why couldn't he just leave and go get Rey? This discussion was pointless any way. His father was never going to change his mind...unless...

Finally, Han turned his full attention back to his son. "Why were you having a tantrum..?" asked his father surprised, like that had never happened before, when in fact it was a common occurrence at home. Not that he was often witness to it, as he was so often away.

"I want to be smuggler," replied Ben and expected his father to be won over by, at least, that perfect father-son answer. "And.." He was going to add the bit about having found his dream girl that needed him and he needed her, but his father interjected before he could say anything more.

"I know, but that is no reason to have a tantrum. A tantrum is never the answer. You know that, son," said his father softly, like he was talking to toddler, who tried to jab his finger into a electric socket like a droid. Something Ben had tried, when he was very small and didn't know better and wanted to mimic Artoo or the other droids.

"Luke tried to kill me." Ben pulled out his best card he had saved for the last. If this didn't work to get him home, nothing would.

"WHAAAT?" shouted Han, like Ben had just showed a sabacc hand, that was no way to get without cheating, as it was full hand with only one kind of a card. Or screamed in rage, as if someone had blown up the Falcon in front of his eyes.

"It was not like that! It was accident, but we have sorted it out. Leia knows," said Luke, that was way more prepared, to answer this time and wasn't as afraid of Han's reaction as Leia's. Not by far. A Jedi master can't be afraid of a smuggler...but a forcesensetive senator...yieks...

"He tried to stab me with his lightsaber," said Ben, as he added another card to his his game, even though technically he should've won it already. So why hadn't he?

"Lightsaber...? Are you telling the truth?" a hint of disbelief seeped into his father's voice, as if it was somehow out of character for Luke to use a saber against people. Which was weird, because how else could've his uncle have tried to kill him? Poison him, choke him...oh wait, that already happened. But Ben thought the lightsaber one was enough, so he didn't tell his father about those instances, also because Luke was sure to make it look like it was all Ben's fault.

"Ben broke into my office, he tried to breach my mind and I didn't know it was him...but thankfully I managed to stop in time," said Luke, to confirm the truth of story but making himself look like the hero, like always.

"No, if the force hadn't warned me in time I would've been dead," said Ben, who had complete different view of what happened.

"What...really?" Luke looked shocked as he hadn't gotten that information. He grabbed Ben's shoulder and pulled him to him and wrapped his arm around him, as if he was afraid he would disappear by speaking that truth out loud.

"Broke...breach...force...? What are you talking about? Dead...? Please tell me you are joking..." said his father pleadingly, as he couldn't take more force information like that and sounded like someone, who had woken up and was disoriented after a horrible nightmare.

"I'm not joking...and this didn't even just happen once...I'm scared. I want to go home...please..." said Ben and hoped to at last get through to his father. He should be easier to break, then his stubborn mother.

"I know son...I will come and get you when you have gotten ridden of the darkness. I promise," his father said in a dream-like voice.

* * *

 _Ah...there he gave me the promise...not as dramatic as in my...dream..._

 _ **KR: Pity...**_

 _And why does neither of my parents take the threat to my life seriously?!_

 _ **KR: They simply don't care.**_

* * *

"But when will that be...?" asked Ben with a choked up voice, who couldn't believe not even that had worked. Hopelessness filled him. Despair was engulfing him.

"Sorry, I've bad reception...the connection is breaking up...I lov.."

The connection broke and turned into loud screeching static. Ben stared frozen at it, as if he has lost connection to his last piece of hope. To his soul. To his Rey...

His uncle turned off and pocketed the com-link.

"We better get you to bed, kid."

He took his hand, picked up his duffle bag in the other and led him out of the destroyed room, where he was still in daze, after the call that had sealed his fate.

* * *

 _Is the memory over now?_

 ** _KR: Nope._**

 _Should've known...how much longer are you going to torment me?_

 ** _KR: You will see._**

* * *

"Lov...? What was he going to say...? Not..love? No, not my dad. He probably was going to say list of valour little sons must show or pay the ultimate price," muttered Ben, when he was back in bed in his new room, as if to pick up where they left up, since he woke up again, after his daze.

"What are you blabbering about? You know what he said. Your mom said the same thing." Luke by some pure optimism, lay in the other bed as he thought could catch some sleep that night. Which was not going to happen.

"Does this mean he is still angry with me...?" asked Ben in such a small voice, that it was hard to tell whether he was asking his uncle or just talking to himself, or the voice in his head.

Luke groaned, as he really wanted to wait until tomorrow to discuss things, but knew that was impossible and he had no longing to make Ben go to that dark place again. "You ruined my office...you talked back to him. You hoped the Falcon got stolen. That was foolish, especially after what you did to end up here. Not to mention how you nearly lost your life because of stupid plan. You are lucky, he didn't come over here...or ask me to punish you in his place...or worse call your mother," he scolded him and then he completely changed his tone.

"But don't worry, not matter how mad we are at you, we will always love you...or rather, we will be mad because we love you..." He smiled at him, as he really believed that would never ever change.

Ben glowered at him. "That doesn't make any sense."

"It will, when you have children of your own...I mean you of course can't...Jedi code...but try to imagine that...no skip that..." said his uncle and kind of wished he hadn't brought up, that explosive topic in the first place.

"I had children with Rey."

"You can't, Jedi code...had?" Luke stared at him, as if he was seeing an older person instead of a cute innocent little boy, who was talking about having babies in the future. Like it was all a game to him.

"They betrayed me," spat Ben.

"Huh?" Luke's eye brow rose so hight that they nearly disappeared under his bright hair. What a weird game.

"So I need new ones...with Rey," declared Ben, like that was the right answer he was seeking to take away all of his and her pain.

* * *

 _Is that what's going on here?_

 ** _KR: What do you mean?_**

 _You are so mad at Luke and mom, that you want to have new offspring with Vader/Rey...?_

 ** _KR: No, I want to rule with Vader, kids are extra..._**

 _Oookay..._

 ** _KR: Or well, of course we would have to make sure the the Vader dynasty continued..._**

 _Please don't say anything more!_

 ** _KR: You asked me!_**

* * *

"Ben, you don't give up on your children like that...no matter what they have done," lectured Luke, like it was his most important lesson.

"Mom and dad gave up on me," snapped Ben, annoyed over the hypocrisy of that lecture.

"They didn't give up on you..." replied his uncle in a light tone, like it was the most idiotic thing for him to even consider.

"And I don't want dad to come here..." declared Ben darkly, as if his father would dare to show up, way too late, he would push him away.

"You don't...?" Luke looked surprised, as if hadn't most of the night revolved around him trying to contact his father to go home?

"He betrayed me," Ben spat hatefully.

"Betrayed...? No, your father is just a very busy man..." said his uncle shocked, over how Ben thought everyone had betrayed him. "No one has betrayed you...we love you..."

"Neither of them even care, that you tried to kill me!" Ben shouted venomously, as he thought back to the hurt their reactions, had brought him.

"It was an accident, they know that..." said his uncle, as carelessly as if he had only dropped him on the floor, while playing x-wing with him. "I would never harm you, son."

"They are both way too busy for me! They only called back to...to lecture me! They never care unless I wreck or do bad stuff! I never exist until then! They don't care if I die! I'm just a monster to them, that should be killed! They want me to die, so they can get rid of me forever...I'm just a burden to them!" Ben punched the wall over and over again.

"Ben, Ben...that's not true, don't say things like that. You know, they love you very much. I will take care of you...until they can," said his uncle as soothingly as possible and to try to keep the walls from breaking, or Ben's fists from bruising and bleeding.

Ben wiped his eyes in frustration. "How? I'm only one of your students. No one has any time for me...or Rey...Rey..." He clutched the pillow softly, like it was his Rey in his grasp instead of a fluffy pillow. "My Rey..." He picked up his calligraphy set and drew her face from his dreams, on the pillow. It calmed him down, as her form started to appear in front of his eyes, line by line.

"That might be true that you are just one of my students, but your training is the most important. Because you are the chosen one...and my son. You have to finish your training first...or well begin it first..." Luke said tired, since he realised how much work was ahead of them, as Ben had already crossed the darkside line many times and only this night and he was seriously worried about this Rey/Vader obsession, but didn't comment on it.

The word training, ignited white, hot fury in Ben's chest, who stopped drawing and put the Rey-pillow down, since he didn't want to hurt her as he thundered. "NO! I don't want that! I don't want to stay here with you! I hate this. I hate you! Hate you! No, No, No!" He shouted, when his uncle embraced him and rubbed his back, before he could destroy this room completely as well with his out of control anger.

"Calm down, breathe."

"No, that's dad's technique. You don't get to use it...I want to go home! I want to get Rey!" Ben struggled in his hold and hit him with his small fists, but when his uncle didn't let go of him, all of the fight went of out of him and because of exhaustion and hopelessness. "Even though there is never anyone home...I will just...sulk in my bedroom...all alone...but at least I will have my toys...and maybe Rey...can we at least go and get her...?" He begged for some small hope in his darkness.  
"Sush...my little padawan. Everything is okay now...you are safe here. You are not alone. I'm here with you, I'm not going anywhere...my little nephew...," he rocked him in his arm.

"Nephew? You hardly call me that anymore..." said Ben surprised.

"I know..but that still doesn't change the fact that you are...my dear and only nephew, my son and that's why you have to be a role model for the other students...but most importantly you have to do this...it's for your future and the galaxy. This is the only place where you can truly be safe...here with me," he stroke his hair.

"I don't care. I don't want to be here. I want to go home! I want my parents! I want Rey!" He pointed at the smiling pillow. He knew for a fact, she wouldn't be smiling like that in future unless he saved her now and the thought of her being alone, filled him with righteous anger.

"I know, but you are the chosen one. Why can't you see that? We, your family are trying to help you. You have a great destiny ahead and you have to be prepared for it, please...listen to me. I beg you. I want to speak to my Ben," Luke cupped his face in his hands and looked deep into his eyes, as he tried to connect with him again.

"You are speaking to him..." said Ben, as if there was no possibility of it not being him. "I just want to go home...please unca. Please convince my stupid parents to take me home...or go get Rey...or both..." he said pleadingly, as he tried a plea bargain.

"Don't call them stupid. You will get home in time, you just have to work very hard at it...I promise," said his uncle.

"But, I miss them so much...I'm so cold...I just want to go home...I just want to save Rey...please..." He grabbed the pillow, which he could at least keep safe with his current powers.

"You can't go home...yet...do you want me to call them again..? To say goodnight? Would that make you feel better?" said his uncle, who completely ignored the Rey part of his sentence.

"No, they are far too busy. I'm so cold..." Ben shivered and grabbed tighter onto the Rey-pillow for warmth.

"Cold...? Please don't tell me...are you coming down with a cold?" His uncle put a hand on his forehead and furrowed his brows, when he felt it was ice cold instead of warm. "That's not good. Is that why you have been acting out like that...? Do you want some hot cocoa and cookies?"

Little Ben nodded, as he never said no to those things and hugged the Rey-pillow tigher

"Okay, wait here." Luke closed the door behind him softly.

* * *

 _Stupid uncle...that is not what I needed...no one can give me that...except Rey..._

 _ **KR: It was, what I needed...for the darkside...**_

 _Cookies?_

 _ **KR: No, we have cookies.**_

 _You do?_

 _ **KR: Of course, very delicious ones, I told you I bake...but what I mean was...your uncle doing the wrong thing...**_

 _Giving me cookies...?_

 _ **KR: You really don't see what he did wrong here...? For you, not for me.**_

 _No...I mean...I...what were we talking about again...?_

 _ **KR: You can't even focus inside your own mind! He should've let you go home! Like you have been constantly screaming about!**_

 _I know...but neither mom and dad wanted me to come home..._

 _ **KR: Then at least you should've gone and get Rey.**_

 _That we should've done...why didn't we?_

 _ **KR: Or maybe you did?**_

 _Huh?_

* * *

 _Next up: Unexpected parental attention... (the last part of this long ass chapter...) Finally fluffy time!_


	37. Unexpected parental attention

Chapter thirty seven: Unexpected parental attention

Unlike when his uncle left him to wait in that creepy locked room, time went by quickly while waiting for him this time, thank to the Rey-pillow and the fact, what he was waiting for this time was not unexpected, and soon Luke returned with a thermos bottle, cups and a bag of cookies.

"Here you go, son." He poured the cocoa into a cup and handed to Ben, who accepted it. "Eat, drink." He put a cookie in his head. "It will make you feel better. You didn't skip another meal, did you?" said his uncle as he sat down on the other bed and took a bite of cookie.

"You noticed?" said Ben surprised, as his uncle didn't seem to care when he had done that.

"Of course I noticed my dear nephew and favorite pupil not eating. Why did you do that?" Luke scolded.

"I was on hunger strike," said Ben as he bit into a very delicious cookie. He hadn't realised how hungry he was and he devoured the cookie.

"Be careful not to choke...again. Remember to blow on it, before you drink." His uncle pointed at the cup. "Whatever for?"

"I want to go home. I want to go get Rey," said Ben and drunk the cocoa and did as was asked of him, plus very slowly as he didn't want to burn himself.

"Ben, you have to learn to be patient. So you will not skip dinner or any meal. No stupid strikes. And you will sleep properly and you will stop running away...or go after dangerous girls..."

"Okay...okay, but Rey isn't dangerous" interject Ben before his uncle could go into full lecture nagging mode. "Can we at least skip the essay?"

"The essay isn't supposed to be a chore. You should have fun writing it...but don't forget to take it seriously as well."

Ben jumped up in the bed like he had been hit by lightening. "I forgot to let mom and dad know about Rey!"

* * *

 ** _KR: You remembered that first now...?_**

 _...that's shameful..._

* * *

"I told you to stop worrying about her..." said his uncle, who had managed to avert disaster, by keeping the cup down with the force or else it would've spilled all over Ben and burned him.

"I can't..." Ben chewed his lower lip and went back to his cocoa cup, to try to ease the anxiety in his stomach.

"I will let your parents know, don't worry...if she even exists..." said Luke.

"She exists...then what about the essay? When is it due?" asked Ben and looked at the duffel bag at the end of his bed, where he had managed to rescue his notebook from his "murderous rampage."

"I can postpone it until you feel better...in fact I'm changing it into a comic, since you have only drawn pictures instead of writing."

"A comic...?" Ben looked up in surprise.

Luke nodded. "Yes, but still you have to learn that actions have consequences. I really should give you another detention for ruining my office..."

Ben grumbled.

"But, I think you have been punished enough for that...though I have to find away to restock," said Luke nervously when he thought about all the hard work ahead.

"I'm sorry..." said Ben, with a real contrite look. He felt he was saying for more than that, though. For all the troubles his uncle had been through because of him.

"You're forgiven. Everything is going to be okay...my little padawan. You are going to get your own lightsaber...but you can't get a red one that's darkside," said Luke and wiggled a finger at him.

"How did you know I wanted a red one? I only told you that in my dream..." asked Ben, perplexed, as he tried to recall another time where he said something like that so carelessly to his uncle.

"What dream..? Your toy saber," Luke pulled from his bag, his precious saber, which was the same color and the same size as the one he had destroyed everything with in his office.

"Oh..." Ben felt foolish for thinking it was something else.

"And the fact that you stole the one from the office, which you know, you are not allowed to have," lectured Luke.

"Sorry..." Ben's ear felt like the were burning hotter than the cocoa in his hands.

"But, to get a red one, you have to steal a saber from a Jedi and torture the crystal by pouring all your anger and hate into it, until it bleeds and you will have trippy visions while doing it."

"That's creepy..." said Ben and sipped on his cocoa, like his uncle was telling him a ghost story.

* * *

 _ **KR: Our crystal is unstable and stressed all the time...**_ _._

 _Like us..._

 _ **KR: I'm not stressed! Just pissed off!**_

 _Right..._

 _ **KR: AT YOU! ALL THE KRIFFING TIME!**_

* * *

"Right? You're going to be the best padawan there is..." He ruffled his hair. "I love you son."

* * *

 _Why does he keep calling me son...it's so annoying._

 _ **KR: Hmm...**_

 _I mean even though dad's not there...he still in my life...right? Even though he...betrayed me...why didn't he bring me home like I asked him to?_

 _ **KR: He doesn't want you...you are nuance...and hindrance to his work...**_

 _He didn't say that..._

 _ **KR: He implied it...**_

* * *

"Stop calling me son. It's annoying. I have a dad and I already called mom," said Ben, who drew the line there. His uncle could be all mushy, mushy he wanted but calling him son, was too creepy. Though he allowed slight from time to time.

"No, I called her," remarked his uncle.

"Big deal," scoffed Ben.

* * *

 _ **KR: You are both as mature...**_

 _Well, mini me has a point..._

* * *

"I would change my attitude if I were you...and start respecting your master if you are ever want to get a saber..." said his uncle threatingly, as if he could just as well take away the cocoa and give him fish oil instead.

"Sorry master..." said Ben obediently when he thought of that horrible possibility. "What colors can I get then?"

"Erm...blue and green...yellow...purple...?" said Luke, unsure even though he was in charge of Jedi academy.

"That's sucks...how about black? Master?" asked Ben and put away his cup on a nightstand and lay down in bed.

"Black saber is more powerful than a lightsaber," said Luke, as if that meant he could never ever get his hands on something so powerful.

"Cool, can I get one like that? Master?" asked Ben, who thought the opposite.

His uncle huffed, when he didn't get his meaning. "Training first...and then we will see. You don't have to always call me master, only when you think it fits...or more like, when we talk about Jedi stuff, otherwise, you can call me Luke...or uncle. Do you understand...?"

"Okay..." Ben looked confused over how to address him. "Luke."

Luke nodded, content. "Do you want me to call your mom and dad to say goodnight..?"

"And tell them about Rey?" asked Ben, expectantly, as he hadn't told them about her. Maybe they could go and get her, at least.

"Forget about Rey," said Luke annoyed, that he kept bringing her up.

Ben glared at him. "I will never forget about her."

* * *

 _ **KR: You did forget about her...**_

 _I don't understand...my memories are so messed up...how could I forget about her? But that sure explains why she was so familiar to me...why I can't stop thinking about her...why I want her so much..._

* * *

"And I'm still too angry with them," said Ben, since he couldn't talk about Rey, he didn't want to speak with them, until he could. He grabbed his Rey-pillow and felt his eyelids grow very heavy and he closed his eyes, while thinking about Rey, in another life. Not as a pillow, but as a person.

"That's not good...you can't stay angry all the time...it's not healthy...not to mention it leads straight to the darkside...did you finally fall asleep...? Has the sleeping pill finally started working? Or are you just pretending, so you don't have to hear my lecture...?" said his uncle.

Ben's only answer is his soft snoring.

"Great, we will talk more in the morning. Sleep well, son..." was the last words Ben heard, before he entered his dream world.

* * *

 _Okay...can we go now?"_

 _ **KR: Go...where?**_

 _Don't play dumb. I have seen everything...we came here to see right. Though I'm not sure exactly what that was supposed to teach me...it really just confused me...especially the Rey parts...who is she...? Who am...I? Who are you...? Are you really my grandmother? Just an evil version of her?_

 _ **KR: That's nothing new...you being confused I mean.**_

 _Can we please go home now? I can't take any more of this..._

 _ **KR: No.**_

 _What? Why! I have even gone to sleep in my memory...this is getting ridiculous. Get me out of here! I need to get to Rey!_

 _ **KR: I said no. You still have lot to learn...**_

 _Like what?_

 _ **KR: Like the fact...that you have indeed...a secret sibling...**_

 _What! No...no way! You're lying! PLEASE!_

 _ **KR: You will see...or a cousin...**_

 _Please, not Rey! Cousin...? Lando's child?_

 _ **KR: Or Luke's...**_

* * *

"Ah, you are finally up sleepyhead," said his uncle in such a chipper voice, like he hadn't just got a few hours of sleep. He opened up the curtains, which let in the morning light.

"Where am...I...? What time is it...?" asked Ben groggily and tried to sit up, but nearly feel down again. He felt so weak. So warm, like a furnace.

"Time for school...Ben, are you okay? You look...extremely pale," said his uncle and came over to check for fever once again.

"I don't feel so good," said Ben, as he felt so sick and wanted to throw up.

Luke pushed him gently down. "Lie down. Don't worry, I will take care of you." He gave his brightest smile, it would melt the cold away or whatever was troubling Ben.

* * *

 _Yeah right._

 ** _KR: Well...someone will.._**

 _Huh...?_

* * *

"How? Don't you have school to take care of?" pointed Ben out, like his uncle had forgotten about something so important. He turned on his side and groaned over the light that was giving him a headache.

"You are for more important. I will send the other padawans home for some time. Don't worry, except I will definitely hear from their families not giving them any prior notice..." Luke looked deadly afraid and Ben didn't blame him, since the Parental Teacher Association, was one of the most scariest thing in the galaxy.

"You don't have to take care of me," said Ben, who didn't want his uncle to get into trouble for having to close the school because of him.

* * *

 ** _KR:The irony..._**

 _Shut up._

* * *

"Yes, I do. But I better let your mom know, she will know through the force anyway, so I better just tell her," he brought out the holoviewer from his pocket and tapped in her number.

"Don't bother her...she's way too busy..." said Ben pleadingly.

"She's not too busy for you," said his uncle matter-of-factly, like he had just met his mother yesterday.

* * *

 _Yes she is..._

 ** _KR: I was never to busy for my children. Before you woke up, I was playing with them. I was hunting down Luke, meaning most of my focus was on finding him to engage with him in a "fun" lightsaber duel, and as Leia is the general of the resistance, my biggest enemy...I was always putting up obstacles for her to have more fun...and where are my thanks? Those ungrateful children...I kriffing died for them!_**

 _I don't want my parents...or Luke to die for me...just to show me a little bit of attention...without shouting at me...or punish..._

* * *

" _What is it Luke, I'm in a important meeting,"_ said his mother in a irritated and hushed voice, but this time she picked up right away, to Ben's surprise. Loud voices were in the background which confirmed her words.

* * *

 _I knew it. She didn't even care about that attempt on my life?!_

* * *

"Sorry, I just called to let you know that Ben is sick..." said his uncle, as if he regretted even making that call despite the emergency.

A loud dramatic gasp came from her, before Luke had even finished his report. " _My little angel is sick?!"_ She said in hysterical voice, as if he was on his deathbed instead of with just a small cold. " _I'm on my way!"_ Leia shouted in her, "going to save the galaxy voice."

They could hear panicked running footsteps and frantic shouting after her and door slamming forcefully.

* * *

 _Right...she's not on her way to me...that never happened..._

 _ **KR: You will see...**_

* * *

"No, no you don't need to come. I will take care of him. I was just calling to letting you know that he is in safe hands.." said Luke as hurriedly as possible, so she wouldn't just throw her work away and do something rash.

* * *

" _I brought him into this world and I will nurse him back to health. Let me know where you are this instant,"_ said Leia in threatening voice, like she could reach through the com-link and slap him for daring to suggest otherwise.

"But it's top secret..." whined Luke, who liked to keep secrets, no matter how dumb they were.

" _Now,"_ she demanded, like she ruled the galaxy and could use all of her cannon to blast him into oblivion.

"Okay..." Luke finally relented as he could never argue with that tone. He turned towards Ben to comfort him with the news that his mother would come, but he gasped when he saw how his nephew's eyes started to glaze over.

Ben...? BEN!" He screamed and shook him, as if he was going into the light...not in a good way.

* * *

 _Strange cliffhanger...I know I'm not going to die...or am I already dead...? That would explain these weird visions a lot..._

 _ **KR: No, not yet.**_

 _Not yet...?_

 _ **KR: The cliffhanger isn't for that, but for whether or not your mom will show up.**_

 _Come on, we all know she didn't do that..._

 _ **KR: Are you sure...?**_

 _Hundred percent._

 _ **KR: Then be prepared to be surprised...**_

 _So stupid..._

 _ **KR: Fine since you insist, I will show you a bit more...**_

* * *

After awaking, Ben's head felt as if it had been split into two with a saber. On top of his excruciating headache, his groggy mind was imagining someone singing. Was his uncle...singing for him? No...it was a woman's voice...Rey...? From his dreams? Was this a dream? No...it...sounded way older more mature...and warm...familiar...and more real...

Mirrorbright, shines the moon, its glow as soft as an ember

When the moon is mirrorbright, take this time to remember

Wait...he knew that song...by heart. It was the one his mother used to sing for him. The Alderaanian lullaby, Mirrorbright, one of the few remains of that planet that was no more. Each time she sang it for him, it was tinted with sadness but also so much hope, that no one was ever really gone.

Those you have loved but are gone

Those who kept you so safe and warm

The mirrorbright moon lets you see

Those who have ceased to be

The song went on and Ben started to get a hold off his reality. To his bewilderment, his hot and sweaty face seemed to be resting against something big, soft and warm. Then he felt it, more then heard, the unmistakable heartbeat vibrating through his body. This couldn't be a dream...it felt too real...it was too detailed...too nice...too familiar...

He allowed the song to be finished, as if he was afraid that the spell would be broken if he disrupt the soft singing in any way and kept his eyes closed. At least when she would disappear, he would've enjoyed her singing.

Mirrorbright shines the moon, as fires die to their embers

Those you loved are with you still—

The moon will help you remember

At last, the singing stopped. Ben's breath caught in his throat. He didn't want this to end, it had been so short...why did it have to end...?

"My little angel, how are you feeling?"

A gentle voice said and sounded like it was the far, far away, instead of right by his ear. The worried tone broke the magical feeling of the lullaby and drew him forcefully back to reality.

Ben couldn't take it anymore, he had to open his eyes to see whatever this was, whether it was real or not. He had to take the chance that she would disappear in front of his eyes, the moment he broke the spell. He had to at least see her, one last time...

Slowly his eyelids lifted up and he gazed up at the one person in his life, who could always chase away the darkness in his heart, no matter what.

"Mom...?" he said breathlessly, as he took in all of her, like she was an angel who had suddenly appeared in his life to take all his sorrows away. His mother was holding him protectively against her chest, like he couldn't remember she had done since he was toddler. To his amazement she had been the one singing for him...in person.

"I'm here, for you." Leia touched his little cheek, with the most tender touch only mom could do, like he was made out of glass. "Always."

* * *

 _WOOT?!_

 _ **KR: I told you she would come...**_

* * *

"Is this a dream?" Ben clung desperately onto his mother, like he was afraid that she was water that could escape through his grasp, no matter what he did to hold onto it. Or that she was just one of the holographic messages, but this one could be touched for some reason. Some higher tech, just to torment him with something that wasn't there. Something to give him hope, just to take it away...

"Of course not," his mother smirked, like he had asked a silly question instead of an important and reasonable one, given his luck. She ran her hand soothingly through his dark locks, which no hologram could ever do. No one could mimic her touch.

"What about your meeting...?" he asked warily, as if he didn't want to remind her, like this was just an instance where she had forgot something so important and the moment she would remember, she would be away. Like always. Why did he have to ruin it, like everything?!

"I ditched it." She drew his little form closer to her chest. "You are always more important." She planted a wet kiss on top of his head. "Always."

* * *

 _This can't be real...there is simply no way..._

 _ **KR: Well...you were high on fever...**_

 _All just a hallucination...right...?_

 _ **KR: Nope...too bad that is what you thought...all these years...**_

 _Mom...ditched...work for me...?_

* * *

 _Next up: Sickness of the past (Little Ben and his family)_

 _More mother-son fluff (and even some dads) coming up! :D_

 _Mirrorbright is canon from Bloodline, you just know Leia must have sung it for her little Ben...;)_


	38. Darkside sickness of the past

_AN: Thanks for the support! You guys rock! Mother-son fluff in the past! But sadly also some angst (this family needs some serious help!)...but of course also lots of silliness...A yet another long chapter that has been divided into three..._

 _The OT trio (Leia, Luke and Han) just doesn't seem to be able to agree on what is the best way to deal with Ben, so poor Ben is being torn apart..._

* * *

Chapter thirty eight - Darkside sickness of the past

Ben, who was burning hot because of his fever, still clung as tightly to his mother's chest as if she were an oasis in a desert and he would die of thirst, the minute he let go of her. A thing he hadn't done since she was breastfeeding him...

* * *

 _The kriff! That's creepy!_

 _ **KR (goes and fixes it)**_

* * *

...since he was a small child and needed her mothering desperately.

* * *

 _You can fix the...story...erm memory?_

 _ **KR: It seems to be one of my awesome (new) powers. ;)**_

 _Can you always do this...?_

 _ **KR: Nah... o:)**_

 _Somehow, I don't believe that..._

 _ **KR: Not my problem what you believe in...**_

* * *

Thankfully his mother didn't mind his babyish behavior, who held just as tightly onto him, with one hand while she unpacked from a huge and heavy bag she had brought with her. Sunlight streamed through the window, which made Ben feel even warmer, but as he felt warm inside of his heart, his didn't mind that much.

"What? When did you have time to pack his things? I thought you came straight here." asked Luke, when he returned from whatever he had been doing probably taking care of his school in some way, as his sister kept endlessly unpacking and put everything on Ben's night stand.

"It's my emergency Ben-bag. I always keep it with me," said Leia, as she arranged everything she deemed necessary for him to get better. A thermometer, medicine, a water bottle, a warm blanket...

"What's that...?" Ben hadn't heard about a bag like that and his mother lifted his arm to put the thermometer under it to take his temperature, before going back to unpacking.

"Oh...should I get one as well?" asked Luke, as if he was expecting them to be sold in regular stores.

"No, he staying with you," said Leia firmly and finally answered Ben's question, while rummaged through the Ben-bag with her Ben-less hand. "It has enough of your clothes, toys...ah, this will be perfect while you are is sick..."

* * *

 _ **KR: Isn't that the bag your father said your mom kept in the resistance base? The one with the photo albums, your clothes, toys...**_

 _That one was real...?_

 _ **KR: You were in doubt...?**_

 _I didn't remember ever seeing it..._

 _ **KR: It's right there, in your memory!**_

 _Well, I forgot...sheesh...I mean...I forgot this ever happened...if it did..._

 _ **KR: One day, you will forget your own name...**_

 _That's sounds ominous..._

 _ **KR: It is...I mean you even forgot Rey's name...**_

 _I did not! Oh...wait...why? How?_

 _ **KR: No idea...or do I...?**_

 _You know...you can be more confusing than Yoda sometimes._

 _ **KR: Confusing...? Yoda was not confusing...if you think that, then you are even more stupid and more simple than I thought!**_

 _Sigh...I didn't mean it literally...just the way he...talked...you know kind...of backwards..._

 _ **KR: Oh...that makes sense...sorry...I will be clearer from now on...**_

 _Really?_

 _ **KR: Nah, that's no fun...**_

 _(Ben growls)_

* * *

"Mom, I'm too old for this," whined Ben when she pulled up the ewok onesie and his teddy bear, Wicket.

* * *

 _Eeeh...the ewok onesie again! Where did that thing even come from?! I thought it was only nightmare..I mean in that fluffy dream...is this a nightmare...I mean a fluffy dream...?_

 _ **KR: No...this happened...**_

 _I burned that thing! I swear!_

 _ **KR: Clearly, she has a extra one.**_

 _Why?_ _ **  
KR: Because you look so cute in it!**_

 _I DO NOT!_

* * *

"Not when you are sick." Leia removed the thermometer after it beeped and frowned at the reading. "There is no reason for you to pretend to be a big boy, while mommy is here." Swift as lightning his mother put the thermometer back in the bag, Wicket on his bed and pulled his sweaty night robe off him, to dress him in the onesie.

"Okay...thanks mommy...and thanks...for being here..." he mumbled through the fabric as she pulled it gently over his head and helped him dress in the onsie, by standing him up and dragging him through it, like he couldn't dress himself.

"Anytime, sweetie." His mother put him under the comforter and arranged the Rey-pillow he had been using as a plushie under his head to make him more comfortable, which made him gasp in shock over the treatment of Rey, but she didn't notice anything or at least didn't comment on his strange reaction for using pillow as a pillow.

"This will keep you nice and toasty..." She pulled the ewok hood up and put Wicked into his arms. "...and that same time cool you down, so you won't overheat. Have you been drinking enough water?" Leia rested her hand on his head to take his temperature, like she hadn't trusted the medical one enough.

"A lots of blue milk," he murmured, as he tried to get his Rey-pillow again in his arms, instead of under his head.

"Hmm...that's a bit too sugary. Drink water..." Leia handed him a water bottle from the night stand and he obeyed her immediately and gulped it down. Then she turned to Luke, all business-like, who finally got a job to do, when she was in her full mom-mode, instead of just standing there like a statute. "Can you hand me the medical bag. I want to check out that sleeping pill, you told me you gave him."

Luke nodded and went to fetch the bag at once, which was in one corner of the room.

"He also gave me stink fish oil...maybe that made me sick," said Ben accusingly and hope that was the case, so he would never ever had to taste that thing again.

Before Luke had a chance to protest that ludicrous accusation, Leia shook her head. "It shouldn't. It's healthy for you."

"But I threw up after it," whined Ben, that nothing ever went his way and reached for the Rey-pillow, to replace Wicket for her, as his plushie.

"Hmm...then you must have been sick before," Leia commented as Luke handed her the sleeping pill bottle and she began to read of it, at the same time she talked to her son, since she always had to multitask, like she was moving at lightspeed.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to give you any fish oil, but a very delicious cold medicine..." Her eyes widened in shock over one particular line on it and she shook the bottle in rage, like she was thinking about throwing it at Luke. "That sleeping pill is way too strong for him. It can knock out a wookie!"

"But it didn't work for him...until extremely late..." said Luke and removed the bottle for her trembling hand and put it back in the medial bag, before she could follow her son's example of throwing his things in anger or breaking them.

"It could've have had the opposite effect..." His mother stopped when she saw how Ben was suddenly clutching the pillow and using Wicket, the teddy bear, as a pillow and set about to remedy that reverse image, to Ben's frustration who wanted to have some control over his life, no matter how wrong his mother felt it looked.

"In fact maybe that's why he went nuts." Leia wrestled the pillow from Ben's grasp and put it back under his head and the teddy bear back in his arm. "Never ever use this pill again, it's too dangerous for children...and don't use it in general..." She lectured Luke, who nodded to every of her demands, like she ruled the galaxy.

"So I'm not in trouble...?" said Ben, as he eyed the Rey-pillow under his head, that had no business being there, despite being a fluffy pillow meant for exactly that position.

"Not at the moment..." growled his mother, as she saw how he reached back for the pillow, despite her earlier correcting of his upside down life.

* * *

 _Yikes_ _!_

 _ **KR: Yikes!**_

* * *

"I promise I will never use it...and I'm sorry. How long to do you plan on staying here?" said Luke, like he was both afraid of his whirlwind of sister that took control of everything in his life and yet at the same time, was happy that he had someone he could count on to take control, when everything was out of the hyperspace lanes, especially her son.

"Until my son is well again," said Leia, who gave up on making Ben putting the Rey-pillow back under his head, where it belonged and instead, she picked up an extra pillow from her Ben-bag. Put that under his head and Wicked beside the Rey-pillow in his arms. "Sleep, son." She stroked his hair, that was visible under his ewok hoodie and kissed his forehead.

* * *

 _Then I never want to be well again..._

* * *

"You still haven't reached Han?" whispered Leia in the dark, when she thought Ben had finally gone to sleep, clutching both Wicket and Rey under the comforter.

"No, for some reason I can't get through to him...I hope nothing has happened..." whispered Luke.

"How come you got his number all of a sudden?" asked Ben and opened his eyes with great intensity, as if it was question he had to know the answer to, then all would fall into place. Even though his eyes were misty from fever, he didn't tone down his stare in the least. The room was dimly lit, after the curtains had been drawn but small light escaped underneath them.

"What do you mean? I just redialed," said Luke surprised by his over reaction, where he held the holo-viewer in his hand and he stood on a standby, like he was expecting to be able to run out the door at moments notice. Maybe to get Han or be able to flee, if his sister would get mad at him for some reason, but the latter one was very likely.

"Ben, sweetie, you have to rest to get better. Let us take care of it," said his mom sweetly, where she sat in chair by his bedside and patted his paw-like hand because of the onesie, to let him know that she was still there.

"Oh..." Then Ben shot up sharply and got dizzy from the sudden movement, but he had to know this, so he asked despite his stinging headache. "Wait...he didn't call through the holo viewer..." He pointed with his paw at the holo-viewer in Luke's hand. "But the com-link..." He pointed at the duffel bag at the bottom of his bed, though he didn't know if the com-link was still there, after Luke had found it. "Come to think of it...how did he know he could call that one...? Did he have your number..?" He looked at Luke, who seemed to have been caught in bright lights, as he started to sweat under Ben's interrogation.

* * *

 _Mini me has point._

 _ **KR: Hmm...at least he's way more observant than you. You didn't notice that detail...**_

 _You are right...I have...to pay more attention..._

 _ **KR: Like I told you from the start...**_

* * *

"Stop overthinking everything. You will get a headache. You probably have a headache because you think to hard," said Luke and chuckled at his own joke, but couldn't meet his nephew's hard, but fleeting gaze.

"I want answers," he said firmly despite everything spinning in front of his eyes. He needed to find a steady point, something to hold onto, in his ever changing world.

"No, your uncle is right. Lay back, down," said his mother, who noticed his weak condition despite him acting tough and pushed him gently down. "We will find a way to contact your dad, don't worry. Close your eyes and relax." She rubbed her hand over his paw-like knuckle.

"You don't need to...call him...please don't bother him," said Ben, who closed his eyes as he thought back to their last call and how he had all this time tried to reach him because of some foolish hope, just to be disappointed. He didn't want to go through that again. He didn't want to establish connection, only to lose it.

"You are not a bother," said Luke, as he tried to ring again, by clicking in the numbers.

"You are never a bother." Leia said and Ben could, tell through the force, how his mother glared at the com-link, when it didn't even go to voicemail and didn't even have a dial. "He better not have turned of the com-link or I will kill him."

"Mom, don't kill dad," pleaded Ben and opened his eyes to look at his mom, like she meant it literally and Leia turned to him with a reassuring smile.

"Okay, sweetie, I won't," She knit her brows in anger, like a darksider. "But he will certainly get an earful."

"Mom?"

Leia's anger disappeared instantly as she went into mom-mode. "What sweetie? Try to rest."

"Master..." He corrected himself, when thinking to his earlier conversation with his uncle about the use of the master title. "Uncle said no one could ever come to this super secret place...that you would need a map and he had some kind of shield on it to prevent people from ever landing here."

"I don't understand, what are you asking?" Leia looked at Luke, who seemed to be as clueless as her, or at least pretended to be.

"How come you could get here?" said Ben, like he was trying to solve a mystery.

"No, I said your father couldn't. Do you really think I would ban your mom from doing that...? Or well I...tried..." Luke bit his lip and his sister glared at him for that attempt.

"Ban...?" Without removing his head from the pillow, Ben looked between the secretive siblings, hoping for an answer.

"She's not going to take you away from your important training, she knows better..she knows what is at stake," said Luke and Leia nodded with a serious expression. "Of course I do."

"What's at stake?" asked Ben and his mother patted his hood and said in her sweet voice, like he was a much smaller child. "Don't worry your little head about it, sweetie, just focus on getting better."

"How did you get here...? How did you find this place?" asked Ben, who had not given up on solving this mystery, though the problem was he didn't even know what he was trying to solve in the first place.

"Your uncle told me where here is and I flew here. Simple as that. Now rest. Don't worry, I will stay here until you get better," she kissed his head, like that would help his cold and that mystery that was eating him alive for some reason, go away.

He grasped her hand with his paw. "I don't want you to leave...ever."

* * *

 _ **KR: So much for never going to talk to my parents again...**_

 _Well if she came...and called..._

 _ **KR: You clearly don't know what is real anymore...**_

 _Well, this can't be real...this is...a dream...memory...it must be...it's way too nice...expect that strange mystery I'm trying to solve..._

 _ **KR: So from your point of view...everything that is nice...must be a dream...?**_ _  
_

 _Yeah..._

 _ **KR: That's...so sad...**_

 _You are feeling sorry for me...?_

 _ **KR: Well...I don't know...or maybe you are just so stupid that you didn't realize how great your childhood was...**_

 _HEY! That's...not true! And you know...Snoke...he kind of messed up things for me..._

 _ **KR: True.**_

 _And I didn't want to be in that stupid academy...but save Rey...plus I wanted to be a smuggler...still do...I think...with Rey..._

 _ **KR: A stupid...smuggler...**_

 _Or a scavenger with Rey..._

 _ **KR:...**_

 _With lightsabers._

 _ **KR: A tiny bit better...**_

* * *

"I don't want to either...but you are safe with your uncle...as long as he follows this schedule hundred percent. Our son will never get sick again on your watch," her mommy voice had changed into her business one and she handed a binder to Luke, that somehow had fit into her Ben-bag.

Luke oofed as he accepted the binder. "Yes, I'm sorry. I will be more careful..."

"And if you ever try to kill him again. I will kill you..." Her eyes got hooded over and Ben's swore, that the room started shaking a bit.

* * *

 _She cares...?_

 _ **KR: Ahaha, it was fun enough to see my Leia threaten stupid Luke through the com-link, but doing it in person. Kriffing awesome!**_

 _So evil...but I agree, it is funny! Poor Luke...though..._

* * *

"It won't happen again. I swear." Luke backed away from her in fright and started reading through the binder.

"You know, if I wasn't so worried about an outside threat to his life, I would take him right here and now," threatened Leia, as he she clasped her son's paw-like hand tightly.

* * *

 _Take me away...? She wanted to do that...? Then why didn't she?_

 _ **KR: You know why...**_

* * *

"I know..." said Luke solemnly and sat on his bed, opposite them, to be more comfortable, as he continued reading or pretending to do, to avoid his sister's anger.

"What threat...?" asked Ben, annoyed to be left out of this serious conversation about his future.

* * *

 _ESS. EN. O. KAY. E._

 _ **KR: Why did you spell it...? Are you a cheerleader...?**_

 _ARR E YPSILION!_

 _ **KR: Now for her...?**_

 _Always for her...not for him...or you...or anyone else...just her..._

 _ **KR: VII A DEE ARR ERR!**_

* * *

"The same applies to you. You will take care of yourself. No more skipping meals, no more late bedtimes and no more going outside while underdressed. No more criminal activities...and no more darkside." said Leia in her full mommy mode to him, without answering his question. Maybe because she didn't really know the answer.

"Yes, mom. I promise..." said Ben and was rewarded with a pat on the head.

"Why were you sneaking outside in the rain...the other day?" She looked at Luke on the other bed, as she tried to puzzle the story together and he just nodded to show, that it was somewhat accurate, as he kept on reading through the binder about how to take care of Ben.

Ben sighed when he admitted the truth to everything, that led to his biggest tantrum and mumbled. "I wanted dad's number."

"Why?" asked his mom and it was hard to tell from her tone, whether she was surprised or not.

"I thought...dad came here..." said Ben and choked up, as he thought of the nice memory not being real and how it hurt too much. Because if it had been true, then it meant that his father had long forgiven him and they could have a fresh start. That Ben had forgiven him as well for his mistake and everything was well again.

"Your father?" Leia lifted her brows questionably, like that scenario could never happen.

"Yes...to bring him home..." said Ben and hang to the small hope that it did in fact happen, hoping to hear it from the one person that said hope was always there, no matter the darkness.

"No, he didn't." said Leia, who for once took all hope away from him.

"He didn't?" asked Ben, surprised that his hopeful mother had taken away his hope like that, but also because if she said it, then it should mean that it was true. That there shouldn't be any shadow of a doubt in his heart longer, but the problem was that meant his heart would be covered in darkness.

"He can't come here," said his mother firmly, which should've cemented the truth even further into Ben's mind. Like her words were some kind of law of the universe.

"I told you it was just a dream," said Luke, without looking up from his reading, who didn't hold the same power as his sister, but close to it.

"A dream...?" Ben still didn't believe it, not even though the truth-holder, his mom had said it. There was something that kept making him believe in it, but he wasn't sure what it was exactly. Hope? How long could he hope? Hope for what, exactly? His dad to come and give him a new life, that he wanted.

"Your father is not allowed here," said his mother, who kept on destroying his hopeful world he kept on trying to rebuild.

"Why not?" said Ben, who felt that mighty unfair, even though he was angry at his father for leaving him, he still wanted to see him and know the truth or at least just talk to him. Try to make things better.

"It's his fault you are here," said his mother in bitter voice, the voice she usually reserved for when the senators were driving her crazy with their stupidity.

"Dad's fault...?"

"His words," she said darkly, like it was some great sin. That words were worse than physical abuse, somehow. Which made sense, since she worked with words in the senate. Words that could become laws that could rebuild or destroy lives of millions or even billions in seconds.

"Oh..." Ben stared ahead. Of course. The ones, who had nearly plumbed him straight to the darkside. The ones, that made him question everything he thought he knew about his relationship with his father.

* * *

 _Since mom said dad never came, that must means that it's...hundred percent true..._

 _ **KR: Yeah...because she never, ever lied to you...**_

 _The Vader, being my grandad thing was an exception. Why would she lie about this?_

 _ **KR: I don't know...to protect you...**_

 _From what?_

 _ **KR: How should I know what that rebelscum/my naughty daughter thinks...**_

 _Okay, now you went too far!_

 _ **KR: What..are you going to do...beat me inside your own head...? We already tried that remember...?**_

 _Erm...I can annoy you..._

 _ **KR: And you do such spectacular job at that...you should be the employe of the month...**_

* * *

Luke closed the binder with dramatic thud, like someone who was tired of waiting in a waiting room. He put the binder on a nightstand, most likely unfinished since he was a slow reader.

"Ben, get some sleep. I'm going to check out your uncle's office," his mother patted his paw-like hand and joined his uncle at the door.

"Why...?" Ben's anxiety skyrocketed. He thought they were long over that. He sat up and grabbed both Wicket and Rey in a death grip, like they could somehow help him with that.

"I'm going to estimate the damage to see how we can fix it and how much it will cost and how long it will take to rebuild it...I will be right back..." she smiled at him, but there was deep sadness in her eyes.

"Didn't you see enough through the hologram...?" pleaded Ben, like otherwise she would return with some big bill, he could only pay by selling his soul to the darkness.

"No, I saw very little. It's better to inspect in person," she said and Luke nodded, eager to get on with the rebuilding.

* * *

 _She came to do that...? Not to check up on me?_

 _ **KR: Of course she did...of course she didn't...**_

* * *

"But...you are going to be so mad at me..." Ben sat up on his knees on the bed, with his paw-like hands, clasped together in a prayer. Wicket and Rey sat on his side, like they were judging him for his darkside, no matter the ridicules cute outfit he now wore.

"No, sweetie, it's over and done with, just focus on resting, son," said his mother.

"Your mom is right, you are sick and need to rest," said his uncle.

"But...you...will...leave me again..." A tear ran down Ben's cheek, as she spoke out the truth.

* * *

 _ **KR: She will anyway...**_

 _She didn't mean to stay...she never did..._

* * *

Leia walked over to him and embraced him. "Sweetie, no matter what I will witness in that room, I came here, first and foremost, to make sure you would get better. Nothing will change that. You are my top priority," she mumbled into his hood.

* * *

 _Since when...?_

 _ **KR: Since then...**_

* * *

"You promise...?" said Ben and looked up into her eyes, as if he was searching for the any tales of lie.

"I promise," she smiled at him, like someone who would never tell a lie.

* * *

 _ **KR: Hrmp.**_

 _I mean...she is politician..._

* * *

"Can I come with you...I don't want to be left alone..." Ben looked around the small room and even though it was very comfy and hot because of the sunlight that streamed in, he felt cold in it, except for the small warmth from the Rey-pillow and even some from Wicket and being in that stupid ewok onsie. His fever didn't help to warm him up, as the cold was in his heart.

Leia glanced at Luke, who nodded, as he knew better than to leave his nephew alone unattended.

"As long as you promise, that you will go straight to bed when we return," said his mother sternly, as she always had to make a counter offer.

Ben smiled and put his paw-like hand on his chest. "I promise."

"Okay, sweetie. We won't be long," she put out his hand so he could take it with his paw.

"Wait..." Ben jumped back in bed and Leia and Luke regarded him with an identical surprised look on their twin faces.

"Wait for me. Things will be different when I return. I promise," Ben said to the Rey-pillow, that was soaked with his sweat and kissed the forehead part of the picture. It was a little smeared, since the ink wasn't water-proved so it left a little black spots on his cheeks.

Leia looked at Luke for answers what was going on with her son and that pillow, who only shook his head and muttered: "I will explain later."

* * *

 _ **KR: It's a pillow!**_

 _I didn't know Rey back then...I mean in person...what happened to that pillow? And doesn't look so good anymore...why did I use ink on it?_

 _ **KR: I have no idea...but I think Rey might be a bit freaked out if she knew about it...a mean you having a pillow...with a picture of her...**_

 _Shit, you are right..._

 _ **KR: And you left the Rey-pillow all alone in bed!**_

 _It's a pillow!_

* * *

The absence of sound was deafening in the demolished office. Ben could hear his heartbeat thunder loud in his ear, along with the low wishing of the wind that easily got through the many big crack along the walls. Unlike the rest of the academy that was untouched, the office was utterly destroyed. Seemingly by a weapon. No human could do all this.

It was way worse than Ben remembered and in dread he looked up at his mother, by his side who held his paw-like hand in comfort, but now gasped and exclaimed as she took in the destruction in person:"What in the name of Alderaan...?"

It certainly looked like, when Alderaan had been destroyed. Ben gulped in fright. That was not something he wanted his mother to compare his tantrum to or any mass destruction, for that matter.

"What happened?" His mother turned to him with such a piercing gaze, he was surprised that she didn't bore hole through him or the cracked floor didn't fall completely under him and swallow him whole.

"I don't know..." he replied honestly, as he didn't remember the destruction itself and he wasn't sure, if his mom thought it a legitimate reason to trash his uncle's office to go and save some girl, Rey, he had dreamed about and had an unbelievable connection with, without even have ever met in real life.

He didn't get further in his thinking as his mother suddenly reached down for him, so he stiffened in fear, but she only picked him up and held him close to her chest, like he was her teddy bear, which fitted his outfit.

"Well make sure, it doesn't happen again," Leia scolded, like he has just forgotten to do his homework instead of acting like a human weapon and destroying everything in sight.

"We will make sure of it," said his uncle, who had been salvaging what was left of his precious Jedi relics and put a hand on his head, like that would help to keep Kylo inside of it.

"Do you think...I am monster...?" asked Ben, as if he wasn't sure himself about that answer, when he looked at the destruction he had caused and he didn't even remember in detail about.

Luke and Leia exchanged glances and shook their heads in firm negative and his mother added. "No, whoever did this...or made you do it...is one."

"Kylo..." said Ben, as if that was the answer to all the trouble he had caused.

* * *

 _ **KR: HEY! Oh...wait that is true. I did most of it...and it was fun! Smashing Jedi stuff!**_

* * *

"Then you have to get rid of this Kylo," said his mother firmly and Luke nodded, like they could just kick Kylo out, for being a awful hotel guest that had thrashed everything in his room.

"Yes, mom," said Ben sincerely, since it was easy to promise everything, even the impossible when she was right by his side.

"Good boy." She kissed his hood. "Let's get you back to bed."

* * *

 _ **KR: Hang on, what about the supreme leader...? Since when am I the bad guy...? Not that I want to get rid of him...yet...**_

 _Yet...? But, you do have a point...but I don't think I even knew about him...back then...or they did..._

 _ **KR: As usual you know nothing...**_

 _I think after this memory trip, I know...something..._

 _ **KR: Depends on whether you believe it...or not...**_

 _Believe...? I thought this was real..._

 _ **KR: Yes, but you only believe in things...that suit you...**_

 _You have it the other way around!_

 _ **KR: Do I?**_

 _YES!_

* * *

"You are not going on that trip until he's healthy again."

Ben woke up the moment the sibling's discussion turned to him. Their were back in the bedroom, but he had been put straight to bed as soon as they returned from cataloguing the destroyed office and he had nearly fell asleep, as they kept ramping up more and more numbers to fix it. Very high and scary numbers. He was lucky if he would ever get an allowance again. He had Rey close to his chest, while Wicket was disregarded at the foot of the bed. He had no business being with his Rey and that teddy bear better not have done anything funny with her, while he was away.

"Of course," agreed Luke in low voice, so he wouldn't wake up Ben since he didn't know he was already awake.

"What trip? Am I going home...?" mumbled Ben hopeful, like in his sleep, without opening his eyes.

"No, sweetie...not yet," replied his mom. "Go back to sleep."

"But I'm sick," whined Ben, who suddenly couldn't even open his eyes. They felt like they were stuck together with little sandy grains.

"Which is why there is no reason for you to travel. You are safe here with us," said his mom firmly and patted his hand, indicating she was right by his bedside. "Sleep, honey."

"Then what trip are you talking about...?" asked Ben feverishly and was annoyed that once again his questions went unanswered about his fate.

"I was thinking, we, that is you and I, can go on a trip together to find more Jedi artefacts and the first temple. How does that kind of adventure sound?" replied Luke, like was planning the most excited vacation for them.

Ben shot up and opened up his eyes wide. "What...just us...? Wouldn't we kill each other...?" He rubbed at his sore eyes with his soft paw knuckles thanks to the onesie, to keep them open.

"Ben, don't joke like that..." his mother pinched his ear lightly in warning.

"Sorry mom." He rubbed his sore earlobe with one paw while the other tried to open his eyes, which for some reason only seemed to get darker.

Leia handed him a washcloth to help with his eyes. To Ben's surprise his paws were all black and he looked at the Rey pillow and saw how the picture of her was all smeared up. He gasped and stared at Luke, like it his was his fault, that Rey was nowhere to be found instead of him being unwise to use ink that could be solvable with water. But it was kind of true for the real Rey, since his uncle hadn't allowed him to go and get her or have someone do it.

Luke shook his head, like that uncle-nephew fight to the death, wasn't even a possibility for him. "No, no, it will be like a holiday. You really need a change of scenery...and I need a new collection..." He glanced sadly at the the ruined relics he had arranged on his bed, to take a better look of.

"I'm sorry.." Ben hung his head and went under the comforter with smeared Rey, since he was so exhausted because of his fever and couldn't keep awake or redraw her. At least he could meet her in...his dreams...

"I guess you were so hot tempered because of your rising fever," said Luke and shrugged, like it was no big deal.

"It probably didn't help. Still no excuse," scolded his mother, who would never excuse his actions in any way, even if they weren't his own. She allowed him to keep the dirty pillow for now since he was so attached to it and planned on washing it, when he had gone to sleep.

"I'm sorry...but we have to get Rey," mumbled Ben and hugged the ruined pillow tightly with his black paws like hands.

"Rey? What's that?" Leia looked at Luke for answers, even though Ben was literally hugging it, who instead said to Ben. "Don't worry about that. I'm sorry, I failed to see how you were really feeling. It won't happen again."

"What about all the other students...are you just going to leave them here...on their own?" pointed Ben out, thinking to the little knights of Ren, the once that were always making trouble.

"I trust them not to burn down the academy or the temple," said Luke with conviction and Leia nodded, though she didn't know the knights and what they were capable of.

"I don't..." muttered Ben.

* * *

 _I don't._

 _ **KR: I don't...**_

* * *

"They can either be here and get their distance learning from me through a hologram or they can go home and get it back home, while they wait for our return, their choice. Artoo will keep watch over those who stay behind. Our search for more Jedi knowledge will benefit them in the long run as well. I thought you wanted someone to pay attention just to you..." said Luke with tiny whine in this tone, that Ben was jumping up and down of joy because of his new brilliant plan, for them to hang out together.

"My family..." said Ben and his mother frowned at him for suggesting otherwise. "He is your family."

"And master," pointed Luke out.

"He's not my father," barked Ben.

"Yes, he is," said his mother and Ben's world came crashing down and his heart hammered in his chest, like it was trying to escape from it.

He sat up, shellshocked with the non exist Rey and said breathlessly: "What?"

"What...?" Luke was stunned, like he was expecting his sister to whip out a DNA test to prove her words.

* * *

 _WHAAAT?!_

 _ **KR Ahahahaha!**_

* * *

"I mean you should obey him like he were your father," said Leia, when both Ben and Luke stared at her, like she had turned into Jabba the Hut and was singing Jedi Rock.

* * *

 _Don't scare me like that mom!_

 _ **KR: You don't need much...**_

* * *

"Mom..." whined Ben that his mother had nearly given him a heart attack, while Luke looked disappointed for some reason.

"But, he hardly listens to his real father...and I'm his master..." whined Luke, when she had taken the possibility of a fatherhood away from him.

* * *

 _He wants to be my father...?_

 _ **KR: He wants kids...you are the closest he has to one. Unless Rey, is his of course...or...you are in fact his, but he can't say it.**_

 _? That's...stupid..._

 ** _KR: Is it...?_**

* * *

"You are giving me away?" Ben looked sharply at his mom and gulped in deep breaths and his mom, rubbed his back when she saw him start to descend into a familiar panic attack.

"No, of course not. You have two dads now, he will take care of you in the place of your father, who doesn't even call back when you are sick..." muttered Leia and glowered at the holo viewer, that Ben noticed first now was on the nightstand.

"I thought unca Wanwo was my other dad," said Ben, as he made a new list of his dad-list. A list where his own father was still unranked.

"Him too...but while with Luke, Luke's in charge," said his mom and his uncle, nodded happy to at least have that power over Ben.

"Don't be so hard on Han. I bet he has a real good reason..." said Luke to defend the honour of his old friend, who messed up occasionally but was in no way a bad man...or a father.

"There is no excuse for this...neglect..." said Leia dramatically, like Ben was on his deathbed and Han was off somewhere gambling and drinking all of their credits away, instead of working hard for the family.

"What if something happened to him?" pointed Luke out and Leia drew in a shuddered breath at that awful possibility, that didn't even seem to have occurred to her before.

"Not my Han!"

Ben stared ahead, afraid of the endless possibilities of death traps his stupid dad could get into with his foolhardiness. Never tell me the odds, indeed. He looked sadly at the pillow that was all dark to match his paw-like hands and the black spot on his cheeks.

"Don't worry. If something happened...we..." Luke patted his sister's shoulder to comfort her, but she was over her panic in minutes and with a steely look she said: "We will help him...however if I find out nothing did..." and she clenched her fist around the holoviewer, like it was Han.

* * *

 _ **KR: Your mom is scary.**_

 _She's not scary! She just..okay she can be a bit scary...sometimes..._

 _ **KR: She has that from me...**_

 _I thought Vader was way more scary..._

 _ **KR: Hrmph, if I had turned dark back in my time...I mean if I had been forcesensetive, he would have been groveling for me...I would have kicked his ass in a lightsaber duel...and then we would have made out...but, not on Mustafar that's dangerous!**_

 _You would have wanted that? To be the dominant one...?_

 _ **KR: We could have switched...roles...balance...you know...**_

 _You kriffing worship Vader, so somehow I don't see that happening..._

 _ **KR: And you worship Rey.**_

 _Well...yeah...your point being...?_

 _ **KR: Rey = Vader**_

 _ **!**_

* * *

"So what do you say about that trip? We might perhaps...look for this Rey..." said Luke with a tempting voice, like he was offering him the deal of lifetime, but since when was Ben ever asked for anything. Everyone thought they could control his life, so he viewed that offer skeptically.

"What is this...Rey...?" Leia frowned at both nephew and uncle, like it was some cheap offer or a trick or was annoyed, that they were going on treasure hunt, but it was boys only so she wasn't invited.

"She is..." began Ben, but his mom cut him off, surprise evident in her voice. "She is a person...? A girl...?"

Ben nodded. "Yeah, my Rey. Does this mean we are going to Jakku?" He looked expectantly at his uncle, like it was the greatest place in the galaxy, only for the sake that Rey lived there.

"Perhaps..." said Luke in a mysterious voice as he looked over his ruined Jedi relics on his bed, like he was thinking about whether or not he could find something as precious as those on that planet. When Ben knew in fact the most precious person was to be found on that spot, out in the nowhere. A diamond in the junkyard.

"I guess it could be...fun...to go an travel, but is it safe...? I mean, I thought I was stuck here because I was in some kind of a danger...? Rey...I want Rey...but..." said Ben and dropped the pillow to grab his head with his paw-like black hands, because of an oncoming headache. His dirty hands smeared ink onto his ewok hood, making it black.

* * *

 _ **KR: I thought you wanted to go and look for Rey.**_

 _Yes, but not with stupid uncle but dad...and I don't believe him...and my mind is messed up because of my fever..._

 _ **KR: That's nothing new...**_

 _And maybe even...Snoke..._

 ** _KR: He was definitely doing something back then..._**

 _Stupid Snoke, stupid Luke, stupid dad..._

* * *

"You are lying...we are not going to look for Rey...you think she is dangerous..." growled Ben and grabbed back on the black pillow, angry that his uncle had tried to trick him like that.

Luke only shrugged and showed no remorse for bringing his hope up like that and picked out a nearly whole relic and pocketed it.

"Who is...this Rey...?" His mom, who had enough of him dirty himself with that black pillow, took it away despite his protest, cleaned his paws with a washcloth and used others to clean his face and hood throughly. She changed his comforter and pillow and threw the dark Rey-pillow onto the floor, like it was nothing. Ben gasped and tried to reach after it, but she held him back and changed him out of the dirty ewok-onsie into normal black pyjamas, which for Ben was a small victory. But he didn't like to sacrifice Rey for his chance to go back to his normal life.

"I will explain everything later about this Rey." said Luke to Leia. "If you behave...we will in fact go and look for her," said his uncle to Ben and hoped that bargain had worked.

"What...really?" Ben looked up from where he had stared at the pillow like it was in mortal danger, on the cold floor.

Luke nodded. "And don't worry, I will protect you out there...that of course, means that you have to obey me in everything. No wandering off on your own. You will follow my path. I'm not losing you...I'm not losing anyone ever again..." he muttered it like a prayer.

"Of course..." said Ben, who knew Luke had lost a lot over the years and looked back at the pillow, pondering over whether to use the force to get it back of the ground and how to do it without his mom finding out.

"I mean it Ben, you will stay at my side at all times...right Leia?" Luke looked at this sister for help.

"Yes," she dove into the Ben-bag. "Or he will put this on you."

* * *

 _What the!_

 ** _KR: You sure need this..._**

 _DO NOT!_

* * *

"Harness?! Mom!" shouted Ben appalled when she held up a red leash in front of him.

"We are not losing you," said Leia.

"I'm not a toddler," countered Ben.

"Yes a harness...great idea." Luke took the harness from his sister's hand. "Just like when you did wander off in our vacations...especially close to monsters..." He shivered while thinking of all the times he had come close to one, darkside or not.

"Please don't remind me...no monsters." Leia looked sick to the stomach as well and hugged her son closely and glared at imaginary monsters.

"I only did that because you were not paying any attention to me...you and dad were too busy flirting with each other...or fighting...while uncle was blabbering about some old tales of the past, which all of you thought I was listening to..." said Ben, who wasn't as afraid of monster as the siblings. He had to life with one...in his head.

"Ben, that's no excuse," scolded his mother, that he had made such light of their trauma.

"Sorry..." said Ben, though he wasn't really sorry.

"So you will listen to me this time...or..." threatened Luke and shook the harness, like warning bells.

"I promise I will do that. I'm not a toddler anymore. Please don't do that. Please..." pleaded Ben, who thought he wouldn't survive the mortification of being put into one at his age, even though he had already been forced to wear an ewok onesie, but at least it wasn't out in the public. Plus, he was back in his normal pyjamas.

"As long as you keep your promise..." said Luke firmly and put the harness into his pocket.

"I will," said Ben, even though he knew there was no way for him no to try to sneak away and find Rey.

"Try reaching Han again." Leia handed the holoviewer to Luke, which hadn't broken despite her tight grip on it.

"But isn't he banned from coming here...?" Ben looked between the siblings, like they were hiding something from him.

"He won't try to take you away while your mother is here," said Luke as he tried once again to ring his father.

"Take me away...why would he do that...?" Ben looked at his mom.

"You know why. He doesn't want you to be a Jedi," answered his uncle, before his mom could.

"I don't want to be a Jedi," said Ben snidely.

"To bad we don't really have a choice. Your future is shrouded in darkness and we must fight it...together," said Luke dramatically and put the holovier into his pocket, when there was still no reaching Han.

"That sucks..." said Ben and crossed his arms with a frown.

"I know sweetie, I know," Leia stroke his hair that was now flowing freely with no hood, like that would make anything better.

"We will do the best we can," said Luke and his mom nodded and tried to snuggle Wicket into Ben's folded arms, like he could help him with his training against the darkside.

Ben pushed the plushie away. "I don't need Wicket...I have another...erm...it was a person..." He picked up the ruined pillowcase with an apologetic smile. "A she.."

Leia looked for words to not insult Ben's new friend. "She is...pretty. Is she your girlfriend...?" She asked like he was in a pretend game and she was only playing along.

"Rey," replied Ben with all the passion he could muster in his soul.

His mom's brown eyes widened as she took in that new information and she smiled, as she finally got the answer to most of her questions. "Oh, so this is...?"

"Vader," finished Luke darkly and you could have heard a tiny pin drop in the room, until Leia levelled her son with a such a dark look that all the Sith Lords in history, would have turned instantly to the light.

* * *

 _Lukeeeee!_

 _ **KR: Now we are getting to good stuff...**_

 _Stupid Luke! Why must you ruin everything Rey-related?!_

 _ **KR: Vader, Vader, VADER!**_

* * *

 _ **Next up:** Darkside family of the past..._


	39. Darkside family of the past

_AN: Actually there are four part of the chapter...here is the second part...more family fluff, silliness and of course angst! Darkside Leia...gulp..._

* * *

Chapter thirty nine - Darkside family of the past

"VADER?" thundered Leia and jumped back from the pillow on the floor, like it could hurt her and then she took a definite step forward it with her fists clenched, like she was going to pummel the dark pillow case into submission. "You will not hurt my family!"

"No, no, no! She's not Vader. That was just because stupid uncle wanted me to make her darkside in my essay...and that was only name I could think of! I'm sorry!" yelled Ben, who jumped out of bed to shield the pillow case behind him protectively, like his mom was about to cut it down with scissors and that would somehow result in damaging the real Rey...in real life.

"Calm down...!" said his mother, though really she should take her own advice, since she was awfully afraid and angry at a innocent, but dark pillow case. Luke even looked a little startled over the mother and son behaviour, even though he had been the cause of it, but did nothing to help as usual.

Leia picked Ben up of the cold floor to put him back in bed, but her son fought her to get back to the pillow case.

"And it doesn't mean anything even if I was Padmé!" he yelled with all his soul, like he could somehow reach Rey/Vader across the galaxy.

* * *

 _What...?_

 ** _KR: We already knew that._**

 _But...I...this is some...I don't believe this..._

 ** _KR: Not my problem._**

 _Snoke is behind this...he must have been...he is behind us being stuck in here..._

 ** _KR: Perhaps..._**

* * *

"What...?" Leia looked stunned between panting son in her arms and brother behind her, who stopped looking over his precious ancient Jedi relics on his bed and instead focused all of his attention on his enigma of a nephew.

"I have no idea..." Ben glanced at the Rey-pillow over his mother's shoulder like it could answer what the kriff did he just shout. The pillow had no face anymore, so he was met with nothing but darkness. It made him felt empty, like there was something missing in his life...and soul.

Leia put her son back in bed and put the comforter over him, as one thing hadn't changed and that was that Ben was sick.

While Luke, sat down heavily in the chair before Ben's bed, shook his head and ran a hand tiredly over his face. "Not this again."

"Again...? Please tell me the whole story from the beginning," commanded Leia, who sat down on the edge of Ben's bed, while her brother started the tale, with Ben sometimes chipping in or changing things, when he felt his uncle was skipping important parts or embellishing them.

* * *

When Leia heard the part where her son had nearly chocked to death and the aftermath of it, the trauma he seemed to life through it from some reason, she gasped in shock and lifted him from his bed into her arms. Then she took the comforter off the bed and wrapped it around him and held him protectively to her chest. His mother seemed to be reliving the traumatising events through the simple retelling, but this time she was by his side when it happened, something she wished she could have done.

"Mommy is here and nothing will hurt you...ever again," she muttered into his ear and rubbed his small back. "Ever again."

"Mom..." Ben hugged her fiercely back as he had wanted to do, when she was nowhere to be found when he needed her most. He was glad to have her now as his anchor in his stormy life, when he was both so dazed from fever and all the new information he kept getting into his exhausted and sick mind. He had no idea, that he had shouted that or even what that all meant. He knew the names though, but that didn't tell him anything. Ben hoped he could get some definite answers from his mother, now that she was here and what it all meant for him and Rey. Why were they connected? How was all of this connected to them? What did it all mean...?

* * *

 ** _KR: We know that..._**

 _I don't think so. If this memory trip has taught me anything, then that is...that things are not always as they seem..._

 ** _KR: Fine, have it your way...so stupid..._**

 _Not listening..._

* * *

"So you called me..because of that?" Leia said to Luke, when she heard why he tried to call her the first time and left a voice message, about Ben becoming mad. That it was in fact not because Ben had trashed his office, but because he was in great danger from something unseen...and unknown. Something inside...his head...

"Yes, and we couldn't reach you..." said Luke sadly. "Nor Han..." He glanced at the holowiever in his pocket, like he was hoping it would call back. Ben wasn't sure what he wanted any more. Did he want to hear from his father? What would that accomplish? He didn't know anything...anymore...

"I'm sorry, that's why I had turned on my com-link so you could call me next time and I'm glad I did, or I wouldn't have been able to help my little angel right away. I will have an emergency com-link from now on, so you will always be able to reach me at a moment's notice," said Leia and Luke smiled over the news.

"I'm glad to hear that, and same you will be able to reach us while we travel." The twins gazed into others eyes and smiled content, happy to be able to establish a connection, though they could've just used a mind-link but they seemed to only want to use it in a extreme emergencies, for some reason.

* * *

 _Right...she was never that easy to get a hold on..._

 ** _KR: You are being unfair, mothers are really busy._**

 _Wha...who are you?_

 ** _KR: A mother. You witnessed me going through labour...did that look fun to you?_**

 _No...painful...but..._

 _ **KR: And my life was being drained away at the same time, so top that, all other pregnant mothers!**_

 _No, they shouldn't...but..._

 _ **KR: Plus my life was given to the most awesome man in the galaxy. You guessed it...!**_

 _Are you mad...or happy that Vader took your life...? I mean if you...are...or were his wife..._

 ** _KR: I am his wife, forever and ever! Mad...? Why would I be...mad...? He didn't do it on purpose and I saved his life!_**

 _So you are not mad...over your death? Over the fact that you died from your children?_

 ** _KR: No, I'm mad because I died from my Vader!_**

 _Why did I even ask?_

 ** _KR: I don't know. Stop asking stupid questions! And I got my Vader back! I just need to wake him up!_**

 _Please don't..._

* * *

"That's good to hear. I'm so sorry, sweetie. I had no idea what you were going through." Leia put her son back in bed with the comforter over him, took a seat beside him and stroke his hair soothingly. His uncle went back to check over the relics and planning their trip.

"Don't worry about those things and just try to sleep, sweetie."

* * *

 ** _KR: Listen to your mother..._**

 _Shut up._

* * *

"But...I...don't remember...this..." said Ben, scared that he had no answers to even what happened to his own body and looked pleadingly at his mother, hovering and fussing over him, hoping she had some. He couldn't rest sooner.

"How do you know Obi-Wan?" His mother gave him suspiciously look, as if he had gotten in with a bad crowd instead of a nice Jedi, plus like Obi was the root of all his problems and the most important piece of the puzzle.

* * *

 _ **KR: Obi-Wan sucks!**_

 _Why?_

 _ **KR: He killed...I mean maimed my Vader...**_

 _But he kind...of rescued you...and the children...mom and uncle..._

 _ **KR: HE HURT MY VADER!**_

 _Oookay..._

* * *

"Obi-Wan...? I'm kind of named after him, right...? Or rather...his nickname," said Ben annoyed and confused, that he was named after a nickname. Like he was just footnote in a larger story or he was supposed to top his namesake somehow.

"Yes, named after my only hope." Leia beamed at him, since unlike him, she loved his name and kept ruffling his hair affectionally. "My Ben Solo. Only Hope, Solo." She kissed his hair.

* * *

 ** _KR: She could've just named you hope, talking about being on the nose!_**

 _Hey...how did you name your...children...? Her and my uncle?_

 ** _KR: I just said whatever came into my head...mere moments before my death!_**

 _I hope...that's not the truth..._

 ** _KR: Of course not, my Ani...I mean Pre-Vader..._**

 _Pre...Vader?_

 ** _KR: Yeah, we had discussed baby names...but we thought it was only going to be a boy and I had no idea there were twins!_**

 _You didn't have a checkup?_

 ** _KR: No..._**

 _That's weird..._

 ** _KR: When you mentioned it...it is! Pre-Vader was just too busy...changing to my Vader...so ya, that evens it out!_**

 _How?!_

* * *

"That's about it...I don't know...him...I think..." said Ben and grabbed his head in pain as he tried to make sense of everything. "I think..."

"You can't have known him, he was long dead before you were born," said his uncle firmly from where he was looking over relics, his back to mother and son. His stern tone sounded like he was trying to explain to him a very simple force lesson, that Ben kept getting wrong for some reason.

"I...know that..." said Ben annoyed, that his uncle thought he was stupid, instead of helping him trying to find answers to this mystery. A yet another mystery. How many mysteries were there? And would he ever find answers to them all?

"You screamed after Ani...?" His mother lifted an eyebrow, like her son was having an illicit affair with someone called Ani.

"Ani...you mean Rey...? I don't remember...anything...except...Rey..." Ben felt it hard to breathe when thinking about Rey's possible future and past and as the world became more confusing for him, the fever didn't help to think clearer.

On the other hand, Leia turned to Luke, like she had it all figured out. "It could be another pretend game." She smiled knowingly at her brother and gave Ben a water bottle to stay hydrated and help get his breathing under control.

"Pretend?" said Luke and turned to his sister, as he hadn't thought about that possibility and his sister nodded, happy with her answer and retrieved the water bottle and put it on the nightstand, after Ben had drunk of it like a thirsty man in a desert.

"Yes, like his Kylo Ren game, this time, he is imagining that he...and his dream girl, are his grandparents Anakin and Padmé...a way to connect with his heritage..understand his past. Children often do that, especially since he never got to know them."

* * *

 _ **KR: It's not a stupid pretend game!**_

 _Ah...that...kind of makes sense..._

 _ **KR: Kind of?! Seriously, you listen to everything your mom says without any argument...**_

 _That's not true...I did rebel...against her..._

 _ **KR: Very late...in life...**_

* * *

"Oh, that makes sense...as a young man I always felt like...there was something my aunt and uncle weren't telling me about my father. That he was more than just some pilot...and..." Luke joined eagerly in the conversation about their past, but his sister cut him off by waving her hand with dismissal, like it was no big deal.

"Yes, yes...our father was Jedi."

* * *

 _ **KR: And became my awesome Vader!**_

 _But...you were married to Anakin...Pre-Vader..._

 _ **KR: That was my old weak self! I'm reborn now.**_

 _Oh...okay..._

 _ **KR: Can't wait to meet my Vader again!**_

 _Can't wait to meet Rey again...but she is not Vader._

 ** _KR: Whatever...you are boring..._**

 _I'm not boring!_

* * *

"So you pretended to be a Jedi...uncle?" asked Ben, as he imagined his uncle in Jedi games and Luke looked shameful, that is was not the case and he shook his head.

"No...I...just always wanted to get away from the farm life...I felt like there was something bigger waiting for me," he drew the curtains from the window and stared dramatically out into the sunny day, like he was staring far out at the horizon, into the sun. Ben just waited for an appropriate music to start, but before that could happen, his mother barked like a general.

"Close the curtains! Ben is trying to sleep. He has a headache for crying out loud!"

Luke closed the curtains with a sheepish look. "Sorry, sister." He sat down in the chair in front of Ben's bed and hung his head, like a porg that had been kicked around.

Leia shook her head over the dramatics and gave her son a pill for his headache and handed him the water bottle.

After he had taken the pill, she said sternly, as from her point of view they had talked enough: "Ben, go to sleep. We can talk about this later, but you need to rest now to get your fever down."

"Why didn't aunt and uncle tell you, your father was a Jedi...?" asked Ben, to get his uncle to tell him more, despite his mother's command, who frowned at him from disobeying her, like it was something unusual.

"Ben..." she said in a warning.

"Because the true story was too...sad..." replied Luke and lifted his head up slightly and met his sister's stern gaze, since he was keeping Ben awake, so he lowered his head again.

"And dark," added his sister, in her "this story is not for children" voice and "you better go to sleep now or there will be trouble."

"Dark how...?" Ben looked between the siblings, even though he knew that voice usually meant he wouldn't get any answers and usually in trouble, if he kept asking. But he had to know more. He was tired of secrets in his life.

"That Anakin was killed by...you know...who," said Luke who didn't dare to utter Vader's name in his sister presence again, which was wise and she nodded, grateful that her brother at least did that right.

"Oh...that." Ben shrugged and before either of the siblings, could scold him for that nonchalance or for not going to sleep, he turned to his mother. "Mom, did you play pretend? Did you feel there was something bigger...out there? Your real family...since you were adopted? Some truth about your family?"

"I was too busy fighting for a better galaxy to play any pretend games..or think about things like that. A galaxy that is now peaceful, so you can do all that you want...sweetie," she smiled at him, with simmering anger in her eyes that he didn't obey her for the sake of his healt, even though she hadn't actually obeyed her adoptive parents and participated in the rebellion far too young. "So go to sleep, now," she said through clenched teeth.

"But, how can I be playing a pretend game, when I don't understand anything of this?" said Ben, who had to know this and looked at the siblings for answer, like they knew everything instead of just pretended to or because he knew, they were hiding things from him. Big things.

"What do you mean?" Leia looked at her brother, who stared at Ben, like he was a saber stuck in the ground that he was trying to move with the force.

"I...have visions..." Ben sat up and stared as if he was seeing his Rey right in front of him and reached out for her...in the small glimmer of light in the dark room, but the warm and bright daylight was kept outside with curtains.

"Visions...?" Once again Leia looked at her brother for answer, who only seemed worried by his nephew's words, but held no answers.

"And...I don't understand what is the link between Padmé...and Vader...?" said Ben and his mother turned to him sharply and glowered at him, like he had done it: "The only link between Padmé and Vader, is that he killed her."

* * *

 _ **KR: HEY!**_

 _But it's true._

 _ **KR: Yeah...but it's not the only link...come on...**_

* * *

"It is...? How did Ani betray Padmé...? Or Padmé...betray him...?" Ben grabbed his head, like he could dig the answers out there instead of asking the siblings. Maybe the answers would come to him in a...dream?

"By bringing her to Vader," said Leia, without even acknowledging Anakin, her father in that sentence. Like that Padmé, her mother could never have betrayed Anakin.

* * *

 _ **KR: Which is so riiight!**_

 _But Anakin could betray you...?_

 _ **KR: Anakin...Pre-Vader...did but Vader would never!**_

 _You are getting harder and harder to talk to..._

* * *

"Eeeh...how did he do...I mean why...?" said Ben and stared at his mother in front of him, who suddenly seemed to want to give him all the answers. At least the answers, she wanted him to hear.

"He thought Vader was their friend...he betrayed them both," said his mother and his uncle only nodded along and allowed Leia to tell the story, like she had been their in person, which they kind of both were, just inside their mother belly, so not really reliable witnesses.

"Oh...that sucks...then where does Obi-Wan fit in...?" Ben chewed his thump as he tried to puzzle everything together. Yet another mystery in his life...or past.

"He was going to save them...both," said Leia and Luke hesitated, like he wanted to say something else, but then he just nodded.

* * *

 _ **KR: No, he was going to kill my VADER!**_

 _But he didn't..._

 _ **KR: No, he just made him suffer while burning alive!**_

 _So you would have wanted Obi to kill Vader..._

 _ **KR:NO!**_

 _What do you want...?_

 _ **KR: Vader...I just want my Vader back...but I...got him...back...?**_

 _You really are losing it!_

 _ **KR: I don't know anything...anymore...except Vader...**_

 _Rey..._

* * *

"Where does Vader fit into it...this? My family...game?" said Ben and looked at the dark Rey pillow on the floor under the window, with the curtains drawn. She was all alone.

"Vader...? I thought I had explained he doesn't..." said his mom firmly and glowered at the pillow, for giving her son weird and bad ideas.

Ben looked away from the Rey pillow to his mother. "But...I feel like he does...I don't understand..."

"What's going on here?" Leia looked fiercely at Luke, like it was all his fault, that her son was losing hold of reality and had some strange obsession with Vader, when it was forbidden.

"He...called for him!" Luke was quick to shift the blame and pointed at the Rey-pillow, like it was all its fault, that Ben was rambling about some things from the past...a past he shouldn't know.

"Rey is just Rey," said Ben and as on a cue, small streams of light came from under the curtains and landed on the pillow case, so it wasn't completely dark any more and with small lines of yellow. Ben frowned at the messiness on the pillow and was about to reach for it to clean the ink off, to redraw her, when his mother stilled his hand and shook her head.

When Ben was about to object, she gave him a new pillow case and a marker from the Ben bag, instead of his calligraphy pencil to draw with and said firmly: "You can draw her, but afterwards it is straight to bed."

"Okay, mom," he accepted everything from his mom.

"Now, I have explained to you that Vader killed both...your grandfather and grandmother. So please take him out your equation immediately. He's evil." Leia handed him a tray, that somehow fit into the bag, so he had a flat surface to draw on.

"Yes, mom," Ben took the tray, put it over his knees on the comforter and set to draw Rey on the new pillow case with the marker. As usual he started to hum the imperial march, but the tune died on his lip, the moment his mother shoot him such a dark look, that he instantly changed it into the innocent Hub Nub song, which his mom approved of by nodding.

* * *

 _ **KR: Kriff...the biggest anti-Vader to date...**_

 _We knew that...in fact, I think Luke is only anti-Vader because of mom...because he knows how she feels about him...and he is very...scared of her...can't blame him..._

 _ **KR: Hmm..that would make sense...still stupid...he should think for himself...like someone I know...**_

 _Was that shot at me?_

 _ **KR: Perhaps...**_

* * *

"So that's why, you gave him fish oil...because of Vader," said Leia to Luke who nodded, as Ben was lost in his Rey-world once again and humming, but this time he had made up an entirely new song for Rey, by playing the imperial march backwards. Thankfully his mom, couldn't tell or he would get into big trouble.

* * *

 _ **KR: Impressive. Most impressive.**_

 _I wrote a...song for her...?_

 _ **KR: By using the imperial march...**_

 _I hope she never finds out about that!_

* * *

"That's a beautiful song...and sad..." Leia said, as the tune was unrecognisable as the imperial one and in fact was way more romantic and hopeful, more fitting for his image of Rey.

"Thank you. It's the Rey's theme." Ben grinned that his mother didn't know how he had composed it, before continuing drawing and humming Rey's theme, which he made more complicated as he drew her in greater detail.

"You wrote a song for her? So, you are really are into her, huh," said his mother with a tease and gave him a light nudge, but not enough to ruin his picture, so Ben could just continue drawing and humming, since the answer should be obvious anyway.

Luke, however could tell his nephew was up to no good, especially since he was acting so innocent, so he decided to ruin that innocent image.

"Not only that, but he also wrote a poem for her." He picked up the notebook from Ben's duffel bag on the floor.

Ben's singing died on his lips and he met his uncle's gaze with pleading "not to show her" in his eyes, while Leia clapped her hands together in excitement over the news.

"A poem! Ooh, I have to see that! I didn't know you were a poet...oh wait, you wrote me a poem once...so you are still writing poetry. I'm happy to hear that." She accepted the book from his uncle and smiled proudly at her son, like he had had become a senator.

* * *

 _ **KR: You wrote a poem for her?**_

 _When I was...what six? Mommy you are the best in the galaxy. I love you forever and ever. That's hardly a poem._

 _ **KR: No...and this...Rey poem is going to get you into BIG trouble...**_

 _What poem...on no!_

* * *

"No, no, you don't need to see that..." Ben put the tap on the marker with a pop, after finishing the new drawing of Rey and tried to get the book away from his mom, before she could even opened it.

His mother held it out of reach from him to tease him, as she didn't understand his desperation. "Why not...? Ooh, are you too shy. Come on, you don't have to be shy for me. I'm your mom."

"No, it's not that..." Ben bit his lip, as his mother opened the book and she turned the pages and carefully observed each and one of them, like she was imprinting them into her memory.

At first she just smiled at the drawings or was impressed by the work, until she reached the one with the Vader helmet. To Ben's relief, Leia only furrowed her brow in confusion and looked at him with a strange look, but didn't comment on it.

However her eyes got darker as they ran over the darkside Rey pictures which made Ben gulp, but what really made her blood boil, was when she finally reached the poem and read the last lines out loud.

"Vader...rule the galaxy..." Leia hand trembled in rage and fright around the pages, as if she wasn't in Jedi Academy anymore with her son and brother, but far away in the past, staring as her home planet being destroyed in front of her eyes...with everything she loved...

"It's...not the only things I talk about in the poem...ow!" Ben grabbed his sore cheek and stared at his mother, shocked out of his core, who lowered her slapping hand and pointed at him with great fury in her eyes.

"No more Vader...you are lucky that you are sick," She ripped the page out and crumbled it forcefully. "Or I would deal with you properly." Her intense dark stare was full of hatred, like they had just become enemies for life or if she planned on making him drink a whole bottle of fish oil as a punishment.

* * *

 _I thought this was supposed to be a fluffy...dreamworld memory!_

 _ **KR: Nope...this is...was real...**_

 _Kriff...I'm dead..._

 _ **KR: Yub. Nice darkside though...Leia was always closer...to it...**_

 _The galaxy would not have survived her..._

 _ **KR: The galaxy is lucky, that she is on their side...**_

 _Too bad she was never on ours...I mean...mine..._

 _ **KR:...too bad indeed...**_

* * *

"I'm...lucky...?" Ben felt ice cold grip his heart and he dropped the tray with the pillow-case to floor with a loud bang. "That..I'm sick...?" He asked in disbelief that his own mother wanted him to never get better. That she had given up on him like that. Without even a chance to explain himself or make things right again. The woman who always held hope, had no for him.

"Leia..." scolded Luke and was torn between console Ben or calming down his sister, who always lost it when she heard the name Vader. He chose to do nothing, instead of interfering with the mother-son fight, like it was none of his business or because he was afraid of messing it up even more, since once again he was the cause of it.

Ben's lips quivered and tears started pooling in his eyes. The slap hurt, but the words had done way more damage. He looked at the door, as the thought about just going through it and never return, since he wasn't wanted there and of course go and get his Rey...that might have been Vader, meaning she would never fit in with his family. This judgmental...and unfair family, that never listened to reason and only went by their emotions. No matter who got hurt. No matter if they were family.

However, the darkside vanished from Leia's eyes instantly as if she had been possessed, when she finally saw and felt Ben's distress through the force.

In shock over what she had done, she threw the crumbled paper to the ground and grabbed her trembling son in a tight embrace, before he could get away from her. "OH, NO! Sweetie, I didn't mean that...it was just Vader...I'M SO SORRY! Don't be afraid. I feel it too. Mommy is here. I will help you be healthy again, of course I will. I promise." His mother kissed his sore cheek over and over and rocked him in her arms to soothe him down and make him stop crying and see that he was loved again. "No need to cry. Mommy loves you. Mommy will always love you. See."

She leaned over to pick up the pillow from the ground. "I will tell you what, I can sow after those lines, then you will never have to worry about losing Rey...I mean the picture again. Okay?" His mother pulled the pillow cover off, as a truce and put it on the tray to able to work on it.

"Really?" The corner of Ben's mouth lifted slightly at the mention of some form of Rey in his life. The darkness was slightly getting chipped away from his heart.

"And I will sow that poem at the backside. Can you write it in for me? You have such a beautiful handwriting," his mother handed him the tray with the pillow cover along with a marker. She picked up the crumbled paper of the floor, straightened it out so he could read it and put it on the tray as well.

"Okay," said Ben, who went straight to work and back into his Rey-world. No singing this time, too risky. Not when he got his mom back.

* * *

 _Mom made a...Rey pillow for me?  
_

 _ **KR: Clearly.**_

 _What happened to it...?_

 _ **KR: You lost it...like everything else...**_

 _I kind of got everything back again._

 _ **KR: You will lose it once more...**_

 _As long as I don't lose Rey...then I will survive..._

 _ **KR: Same as long as I have Vader...**_

 _Rey..._

* * *

"So is Rey's full name, Ani Rey Padmé?" said Luke as he leaned over Ben where he sat in bed and was scribbling down the poem on the pillow case, like it was some sacred Jedi text.

"No, just Ani...I mean Rey," said Ben without taking his eyes of his writing.

"So you...are Padmé?" His uncle tilted his head, like he was trying to see his nephew differently. "Our..mother...?"

"I'm Ben. Stop interrupting me, uncle. I'm writing," snapped Ben at him and Luke backed away to the safety of his relics.

"Sorry."

"It's just a game, Luke," said Leia who sat beside her son and rubbed his back, like she never wanted to leave him.

"Then how come he didn't even understand what he was playing?" pointed Luke out.

"You make a strong point..." Leia looked at Ben for answers, who at that moment finished the last line, so that got all of the attention.

"Finished." He lifted the pillowcase proudly and his mom patted his head as a reward for a job well done.

"Good boy, so beautiful. Very feminine writing."

"Feminine?" He tilted his head over that description and grimaced. His uncle was surprised as well.

"That's not bad, son, it means it's beautiful," said his mother as she accepted the pillowcase and starting sowing into it, first the picture of Rey, since that was top priority for Ben.

"Oh...okay..." replied Ben, like he didn't believe her words, as he watched Rey being stitched together in front of him.

"But why...in this game, I mean does he say, he is his grandmother...? Our mother? Isn't that weird...? I mean...he is a boy..." whispered Luke conspiratorially, like Ben didn't know what gender he was. "Wouldn't it make more sense, if he was Anakin...? Our...father..."

"Because he has worn her dresses, and frankly I think it's cute. Our mother was senator just like me, so I like that role model...way better than some...stupid Jedi," said Leia, without looking up from her sowing or pausing in the slightest.

"You do?" asked Ben, like he had been waiting all his life for her to say those words.

His mother looked up from the sowing to meet his soulful gaze, with a adoring smile. "Yes."

* * *

 _ **KR: She likes me better..than stupid Anakin...Pre-Vader? I'm touched.**_

 _Of course she does...stupid...I mean Anakin, my grandfather...their father, became Vader...whom she hates...like you saw, she better not hate Rey...I mean...erm if Rey happened to have been Vader...no one can hate Rey. No one._

 _ **KR: I think Snoke does.**_

 _Snoke is an idiot...wait, he knows about Rey...?_

 _ **KR: Maybe.**_

 _How...?_

 _ **KR: I don't know...**_

 _HOW!_

 _ **KR: I said I don't know! Maybe he doesn't, okay...**_

 _So you were just fooling around..._

 _ **KR: Maybe...**_

 _Stop that!_

 _ **KR: Sorry...I wish Leia could get over being an anti-Vader, then she would be perfect and it's true, I was a senator...and she followed in my footsteps...now she just have to be darkside...**_

 _She never going dark. Why do you hate the senate today?_

 _ **KR: The senate sucks!**_

 _I can't argue with that..._

 _ **KR: Hehe, our Leia thinks the Jedi are stupid as well...**_

 _And probably the Siths as well..._

 _ **KR: Not the Siths!**_

* * *

"Hey...Jedi are not stupid...I'm a Jedi...master...and teaching your son to be a Jedi. Leia, you are kind of undermining me here..." whined Luke as he went over whatever he could salvage of his relics. "Who kind of ruined my school."

"That wasn't nice." Leia frowned at her son sternly, before going back to sowing.

"I'm sorry, but I don't want to be a stupid Jedi. I want to be a smuggler," pointed Ben out, like the hundred time.

"Well, you can't...why don't you want to be a senator, like your mommy?" said Leia, and turned the pillow over to sow in the poem.

"Senators suck...erm not you mom, you rock...but the others..." said Ben quickly, so she wouldn't misunderstand him.

"I get what you are saying. Many of them are kind of...useless..." Leia sowed in the poem at lightspeed, without making a single mistake.

"Exactly. I mean it was the senate's fault that Palpatine, Darth Sidious the Sith lord, got to be an emperor...oh wait...it was mine." Ben stopped, deep in thought, as if he had just figured that out.

"Yours...?" Leia stopped her sowing to look at her brother for answer, who as usual, had no idea what was going on.

"I mean I made Jar Jar Bink a senator...who was the one who helped him rise to power...why on Naboo...out of everyone I could chose to take my place...while I went into hiding with my Ani..." said Ben and uttered the name Ani like it was something sweet on his tongue.

* * *

 _ **KR: Jar Jar was nice.**_

 _You...like Jar Jar...?_

 _ **KR: What? He helped me make an important alliance with the Gungans during the invasion on Naboo...it was just a bad move on my part to make him a senator, not his fault...very bad move.**_

 _You...are standing up...for Jar Jar...?_

 _ **KR: Just saying, that gungan is getting a bad rep...but if it's wasn't for him the empire wouldn't exist, so in fact it was great move! Hey! Maybe...he was in fact a Sith Lord himself!**_

 _I can't believe what I'm hearing..._

 _ **KR: All hail Darth Jar Jar Binks!**_

* * *

Leia smiled as widely as someone had just brought back Alderaan. "You have been reading up on politics history! Mommy is so proud!" She hugged him tightly and kissed him on his head.

"No...I haven't..." said Ben, who even though he loved reading, he had never heard that version of that story, so where did it come from?

"Then how do you know this stuff...?" again Leia looked at her brother who shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't...know..." replied Ben, afraid of his unknown knowledge of the past, that kept getting deeper for some reason.

"You didn't teach him?" asked Luke and Leia shook her head. "Not...in such detail."

"Weird..." said Luke and Leia stared intently at into her son's eyes, like he was turning into someone else. Ben just stared back and tilted his head, like that would help understand what his mother was trying to do.

* * *

 _Jar Jar is a detail?_

 _ **KR: Darth Jar Jar is very important!**_

 _Okay, okay..._

* * *

After she didn't find anything after inspecting her son she turned to Luke with scowl. "Stop trying to kill your nephew...our son...it's messing with his head...some more...though the politics part is okay...but still no hurting him! Just give a history holo instead, far safer," she said it as if Luke's plan had been to knock his nephew out so he could get some knowledge through the force that way...or politics.

"I'm not trying to hurt him...he just keeps getting himself in dangerous...dark situation," said Luke and frowned at his naughty nephew, who stuck his tongue out at him. His uncle shook his head over his naughtiness.

"He's here to be protected from monsters not be treated like one. You really hurt my little angel...and frightened him..." Leia grabbed and squeezed her son in a protective hug.

"You frightened me, too mommy," pointed Ben out with a hint of accusation in his voice and looked up into her eyes.

"I'm very sorry about that. Won't happen again." His mother kissed his head and want back to sowing.

"And you hurt me...you said nothing would ever hurt me again...and you...were the one who hurt me..." said Ben.

"I'm sorry...but I hurt you because I love you," Leia said as she thread a needle into the pillow.

"Huh...that doesn't make any sense." Ben watched as the poem was close to finish.

His mother showed him that it was done by holding it up so he could inspect it. "I don't ever want lose you...my angel."

"I don't want to lose you either..." he said and nodded happy with her work.

* * *

 ** _KR: Are you crying...?_**

 _It's...hard...not too..._

 ** _KR: Can't blame ya..._**

* * *

"I'm sorry too, but I had to stop him...I'm sorry," Luke bowed his head to both mother and son.

"Did you use your metallic hand on him...? Because if you did..." Leia glared at her brother, in full rancor mamma mode, as if she was thinking of cutting his other arm off and with his own saber for hurting her son.

* * *

 _ **KR: Hehe, darkside Leia is so cool.**_

 _What about darkside Luke?_

 _ **KR: He's cool too...too bad, he only uses darkside against us!**_

 _Yeah...that kinds of sucks...I mean I don't want him to use darkside!_

 _ **KR: Why do my children only use their darkside against me...? So unfair...**_

 _It is..._

* * *

"No! Never. I'm really, really sorry..." said Luke was quick to hide his hands behind his back, before his sister got any wild ideas.

"Yes, he did," said Ben and began to put the the Rey-pillow case over Wicket, since he wanted to use her as his teddy bear instead.

"BEN!" shouted Luke, not happy to be at the mercy of his nephew and maybe because it was wrong to hide poor Wicket like that.

"He did...?" Leia glanced between nephew and uncle in disbelief and then glowered at Luke who gulped in panic.

Ben nodded to her question. A revenge for how Luke always got him in trouble with his mother, now it was pay back time.

"Ben, please!" shouted Luke, when his sister clenched her teeth, like she was going to eat him in one bite.

"I'm kidding..." mumbled Ben, though the truth was his uncle had used that one, but as it was covered with fake plastic skin, it didn't hurt as much as it should've. So he let it slide...this time, in the hope his uncle would never ever repeat that.

"Ben, that wasn't nice and Luke make sure, it won't happen again. No trying to make him cry uncle. It's not nice, he just a child," scolded Leia as she removed the pillow case of Wicket and put it on a pillow.

* * *

 _Cry uncle?_

 _ **KR: You did cry uncle, Uncle. It's me Ben! To make him stop...which he did...**_

 _Oh...and what does she mean by he just a child, so it's okay for him when I'm an adult?_

 _ **KR: Of course it is...**_

 _Stupid uncle...stupid family..._

* * *

"I will...I promise...I also comforted him afterwards...right, Ben...Ben..." said Luke and hoped his nephew would back him up a little and not leave him in the dark.

To Luke's relief, Ben nodded to confirm that. "He was very nice to me...he said he...loved me...no matter what..." Ben hugged the new Rey pillow and snuggled into it.

"Of course he does, we all too. I'm glad to hear that he said that...you two seem to have been through so much." Leia gave both uncle and nephew sympathetic look and patted Ben's head.

"We have..." said Luke and Ben just snuggled deeper into the Rey-pillow with a happy sigh, like it would disappear if he let go of it for one minute. He couldn't wait to get back to sleep and dream all the Rey dreams, until he could go and save her in real life.

"I know just the thing to make you relax." Leia picked up a wooden brush from the never-ending Ben bag and Ben jolted up and stiffened in horror, like she had just pulled out a ignited saber.

* * *

 _ **KR: You think everything is a ignited saber...?**_

 _Kind of...because I nearly died by one..._

 _ **KR: You need help man.**_

 _Tell me about it...but that wasn't the reason...for my reaction..._

 ** _KR: Oh...? Ouch!_**

 _Yub..._

* * *

"It just for your hair, sweetie. You love it, when I do your hair," said his mom worried, that he thought it was anything else and exchanged glances with his uncle, that shared the same sentiment.

Ben visibly relaxed. "I love that you love it..."

"Aww, you are too cute." Leia had him sit on her lap and hugged him close. "You are sounding just like a little senator, so diplomatic." She leaned down to him and whispered into his ear, as she ran her fingers gently on his each side of head, through his dark hair to measure it for braiding. "I'm going to do something extra special for you...my little angel..." She reached for the brush on her side to get started.

* * *

 _ **KR: I wonder if she is going to do a normal Aldeerian braid or a festive one...? Or a royal!**_

 _The kriff...you know the difference...?_

 _ **KR: Don't you? I remember her teaching you, so you could braid her hair.**_

 _Well...yeah...but..._

 _ **KR: I hope it's the royal one. That one is so cool!**_

 _? You really are losing it in here..._

 _ **KR: So uncivilised!**_

* * *

 _Next up: Embarrassing "torture" of the past..._

 _Part of Rey's theme is the imperial march backwards._


	40. Tanglement of the past

_AN: Woah, chapter forty! We are getting close to the end of this crazy fic (six chapters left with this one) and then it's off to the sequel/last part (which is even crazier!)! And after this story complete I'm going to take ch 16 to the end of this fic and have them as an separate entry her one the site, called Ben awakens 2: Sleeping Beauty Ben (or I as like to refer it to as the dream-memory arc)_

 _Part three of the chapter...this one is kind as a crazy filler, but still has an important set up...and plot! A long one - had to divide again but the next one will come around shortly._

 _A lot of references to the book Bloodline, love it so much! If you haven't read it already, I highly recommend it! There is even a itty bits of little Ben in it, referenced when Leia thinks back. Leia is so awesome in that book (and there also Han Leia in it, which is so cute!)! But, in that book, the galaxy finds out that she is Vader's daughter (that's only part of the awesome storyline though) and the senate reacts badly...to put it mildly..._

 _Plus in this chapter there is a reference to the Poe Dameron comic a_ _nd from the Solo movie! Probably more references but I don't remember them all. At least at lot from my beloved prequels (and I really love them but I also love to make fun of them)._

 _Some talk about corporal punishment on a child in the past for criminal/naughty behaviour (nothing brutal or detailed though - very soft). In fact, this fic, among other things, will deal with past treatment of children vs how it is today (or how it should be, since we know better!), meaning, peaceful punishments or Time in vs Time outs etc. The OT gang is still learning how to deal with their "darkside" child..._

* * *

Chapter forty - Tanglement of the past

"What else would you use a brush for?" asked Luke puzzled and looked at his sister and her son, who sat on her lap, for answers, like they shared some great secret together.

"Please don't tell him." begged Ben his mother, as in don't give him any more ideas to torment me with because, "the fish oil therapy against anything Vader-related was bad enough."

"Don't worry. It's just between us," whispered his mother in her secretive voice, while brushing his hair to get rid of all the tangles, so she could start braiding it.

"You used that thing on him...? Why...? I thought you didn't like to hit him..." said Luke who surprised Ben, by finding out the answer on his own and without any help from force ghosts or ancient books.

"I absolutely hate it, but sometimes my smacking, but most importantly lots and lots of cuddles and kisses..." Leia stopped the brushing to prove her point, by cuddling and kiss her son, who tried to escape that surprise cuddly attack, but she held him firmly in place as she cuddled him. "...are the only things that seems to get through his stubborn Skywalker head...lots of it...lots of love." After that declaration, she continued with the gently brushing, as if her son's, black and shoulder with length hair, was made out of glass.

"I'm Solo," barked Ben, like that meant he was too manly and didn't get any cuddles or love. Solo should also mean that you would end up alone, but at least that part was wrong in his father's case and he didn't really know about any other Solos, except him and his father. So maybe Solo didn't mean that after all?

* * *

 _True...dad has mom...I have...or will have...Rey...I hope..._

 ** _KR: But for how long...? And aren't your parents separated today...?_**

 _They are...? When did that happen?!_

 ** _KR: Around the time you went to the darkside._**

 _My fault...? Why would they get separated then...?_

 ** _KR: I wonder...why..._**

 _They didn't tell me...(pout) No one tells me anything...always the last to know...everything..._

 ** _KR: Dramaqueen..._**

 _I'm going to get them back together!_

 ** _KR: Right..._**

 _For Rey's sake...because she wants family to stay together..._

 ** _KR: Hmm..._**

* * *

Leia finished the brushing and let his hair fall to one side of his face, before picking up two small pieces of it and holding it in each hand. "You are Solo as well, which is an explosive combination of stubborn...not to mention naughtiness..but also cuteness!"

She gave her son a quick squeeze so he groaned, before she started to braid his hair, by twisting it, so that one piece of hair was on the bottom, while the other went on the top. Then she added a few strands of his hair to the lower piece, before moving the bottom piece up, and the top piece down. A thing she had taught him, so he could braid his and her hair. Ben had noticed how her own hair was unusually messy, since her own braiding had got slightly undone, the only thing holding it in place her hair clasp with the royal emblem for Alderaan. But that messiness, meant she had tried to get there as fast a possible...to help him. Maybe he could help her fix it...later? Like she was trying to fix him...

"Thankfully it's usually enough to threaten him with the brush, to get him to behave, so I have only had use it in the most extreme cases, like when he did something dangerous, illegal or darkside related. Like running away, fighting, stealing or when he blew up bombs in the senate..." His mother calmly continued the same pattern all the way around his forehead, by adding hair to the bottom piece, and flipping each of the pieces as she went along. She curled her hand so the braid would get twisted and braided very slowly, as to not put to much pressure on his head, when he was ill. Ben was thankful for that small gesture.

Luke jumped up at the news of the bombing, despite how relaxed his sister and nephew looked like it was no big deal. He stared at his nephew on her lap, as if he was seeing him a new light, like a hard core criminal. "What! I did not know about that...was he charged for it...?" He looked around, as if he was expecting Ben to be arrested any minute.

His sister shook her head and turned Ben, who got shamefaced, that she was bringing up his past "crimes," to the side on her knee as she braided around his head. "No, he was only nine...and those were prank bombs, filled with slime and paper with the words, the senate kriffing sucks and the empire rules!"

Luke snickered and Ben couldn't help grinning as well.

"It's not funny!" shouted Leia outraged, that both of them found it funny, before going back to the braiding, to take firm control of her son's hair, like his life, since both was completely out of control.

"Awww...come on, I can just imagine the stiff looks of the senators get frozen in fear and shock...and then all covered with slime," Luke sighed contently when imagining that and smirked evilly.

"Yeah, it was funny...but you would have to be there to experience the full glory...and their anger afterwards when they found out it was a prank! I bet all of them had turned dark had they been forcesensetive! They so wanted to kill me!" Ben beamed over the memory, but his happy smile disappeared as soon as his mother shot him a dark, warning look.

"Hehe, yeah I can believe that...stupid boring senators. But, we would have fought them together and defeated them easily." Luke picked up Ben's toy saber from the duffle bag and threw it to Ben, who caught it skilfully with one hand, before he picked up a wooden stick, a thing he had salvaged, for some reason, from his destroyed office.

"In the coolest lightsaber fight the galaxy has ever seen!" said Ben and his eyes shone with excitement, as their "sabers", clashed in a mock duel.

Uncle and nephew sparred and high-fived at the end, like they were suddenly best friend forever.

"Hey! Watch it! Many of those senators are my dear friends. Sit still, while I finish braiding your hair. And you, stop making your nephew overexert himself, he's sick!" scolded Leia, as he kept a tight hold on Ben's locks, to keep him down during his mock fight.

"Sorry...Leia..." said Luke dejectedly and lowered his stick.

"Sorry, mommy..." Ben sat obediently back on her lap and put his toy saber on the bed.

"Sounds to me like you are still enjoying that prank...maybe you need a reminder, why it was not funny..." Leia let go of his hair to tickle his side playfully, until Ben laughed and pleaded for mercy.

"NO! I give up!" He looked at his mom with tears in his eyes, when she stopped the tickle attack. "I'm so sorry...but I can't help it! It was so funny! But not when you caught me...you looked really scary mommy...and you killed me for it." He gulped.

"You...killed him...?" Luke looked between mother and son, like her son was in fact a ghost.

"I didn't kill him and I didn't mean to scare you, sweetie. You should never be afraid of me," said Leia sweetly and kissed her son's head. "And I cuddled you long afterwards, I always do that."

"I know. I'm not afraid of you...but your anger...and that stupid brush...not the one you use on my hair...though, that's one nice," Ben smiled fondly at her, like he always trusted her to keep him safe no matter what.

"I love being nice...to you." muttered his mother, a bit shamefaced she couldn't always do that and was sometimes the source of his fright...or anger.

"I love being nice to you...as well..I can braid your hair when you are done with mine...your braiding is a bit undone..." Ben reached out for a hair lock that was loose and tucked it behind her ear, which made his mother smile gratefully at him.

"Aww...thank you my little angel, but you are sick so I will have to pass on that. What you can do though, is stop being so naughty, so I don't have to punish you. Because I hate that. Can you that for me?" She gazed pleadingly at him, like it was the only thing she truly wanted in the whole galaxy.

"Sworry mamsy...I will...try..." he replied with his smallest voice possible, like he was a toddler again and his mother smiled at the promise.

"Do or do not there is no try," muttered his uncle and Ben ignored him and went back into his mother-son bubble.

"I just want to hug you forever and ever..." his mother said like she was about to give him a hug. "...but now I have to start the braiding all over again, because of your roughhousing." Leia frowned sternly at how his braids had gotten lose and she started to untwist them to get them tight again.

"Sworry mommy...I will be good..." Ben lowered his head a bit sad that she didn't give him a hug instead of doing her job. At least his mom could control his hair, even if she couldn't control him.

"I'm glad to hear that, sweetie," Leia picked up the speed, before either uncle or nephew would distract her again from her work.

"Please, tell me you have it on record somewhere...?" Luke swung the makeshift lightsaber around and suddenly stiffened. "Not the scary Leia part, that's for horror holos...though the cuddling sounded cute...but for the prank..."

"No, sadly..." said Ben, who kicked himself mentally for not having used a droid to film it. Artoo was back at the academy back then, otherwise he could've used him.

"Ah, that's too bad..." Luke was also thinking that it would've been nice if Artoo had filmed it. But, next time Ben would have to let Luke know in advance when he planned on pranking the senators, so he could loan him Artoo as a camera droid.

"It was not funny and I'm not sure if you would have gotten of that lightly, if you weren't my son, since I'm well liked in the senate. You were lucky they only banned you from coming to visit, ever again...and no children is allowed there," said Leia sternly, like she could read both of their naughty minds, as she continued with the braiding.

* * *

 _Lucky children._

 _ **KR: See, we did something nice...by being naughty...**_

 _That...can happen...I wouldn't tell her that though!_

 ** _KR: Chicken..._**

* * *

"I'm sworry...mommy..." said Ben in his baby voice.

"You are forgiven sweetie. I just don't want you to turn into a terrorist...not even a funny one. I mean, there is nothing funny about being a terrorist!" she quickly corrected herself.

"I won't! I promise!"

Leia stopped braiding and leaned over to kiss the top of his head. "Good boy."

* * *

 _ **KR: That's didn't work out so well...**_

 _Stop stating the obvious. Mom was well liked and in the front run of becoming the First Senator...until everyone found out she was Vader's daughter...through her friend's betrayal! And then the senate betrayed her...even her so called friends...except maybe one...I think he was even killed! Poor mom..._

 _ **KR: Yeah, stupid senate. Been there done that. Plus, being Vader's daughter is awesome, but do you know what tops that...?**_

 _Do I wanna know...?_

 _ **KR: Vader's wife!**_

 _Sigh..._

 _ **KR: However being Vader's grandson that's the lowest of the low! You are so below me, kid! You are mine! I rule you! My descendant!**_

 _Wait..what? I thought you had prided yourself on being Vader's grandson...for so long...until you found out..._

 _ **KR: That was when it was me and then I found out something even better! He turned for me!**_

 _And killed you..._

 _ **KR: He didn't mean to...**_

 _Oh..really?_

 _ **KR: He didn't know I hadn't betrayed him but only Stupid Obi-Wan...and he didn't know he had drained the life away from me through out forcebond, through our twins (he didn't even know we had twins!). And he wished for me, when he had put on that sexy Vader suit...**_

 _What...sexy...? He could hardly breathe in that thing!_

 _ **KR: I know...his breathing apparatus turns me on...everything about him does...why do you think my helmet has a similar thing...**_

 _Stop right there! I don't want to know anything more! Please! Let's just...get back to the memory...please...I will do anything!_

 _ **KR: Anything...?  
**_

 _Okay, maybe not...anything..._

 _ **KR: Hrmp. You know, this bombing prank isn't so funny today after the Napkin bombing incident.**_

 _You mean the one...where we...I mean I warned mom...? Does she even know we...I mean I were the one...who warned her beforehand...?_

 _ **KR: Probably not, as you were supposed to be with your uncle at that time...in training...**_

 _I was...but we were traveling and the rising First Order was trying to recruit me for their cause...so I happened to stumble on their plans to blowing up the senate...and managed to warn mom in time, by sending her a napkin with my calligraphy on it...didn't she know it was from me? What the kriff, mom? It was my handwriting!_

 _ **KR: She will probably blame you for the bombing...since you already tried that once...**_

 _Hey! I was nine and it was prank! Not comparable! And I saved her life...I mean in that incident..._

 _ **KR: I already died once for her, do you see her overwhelming gratitude...? No...**_

 _I'm not looking for a gratitude...or a reward...just some...acknowledgement that I did something good..._

 _ **KR: Once.**_

 _Hey, I turned to the light, just now._

 _ **KR: That was BAD. From my point of view.**_

 _Shut up..._

 _ **KR: And that mistake will be...fixed...**_

 _Please...just...SHUT UP!_

* * *

"And Luke stop encouraging him. You are supposed to be his role model!" Leia shot her brother a look, without stopping braiding so she did it blindly.

"I'm sorry, but being a Jedi master is so much cooler than being a stupid..." Luke swung his stick around.

"LUKE!" His sister glowered at him and he held his hand up in defeat.

"Sorry...I still don't understand why you didn't want to be Jedi, like me..."

"Because...of the darkside..." Leia bit her lip like she had said to much.

"Darkside...?" asked Ben and Luke swung his stick in high and low arcs.

"True, you have temper," her brother said, as he danced around with his stick.

"But if I have a darkside as well, why am I being trained to be a Jedi, isn't that...risky?" asked Ben, confused by his mother's statement.

"Your case is different sweetie," replied his mother, where her gaze followed Luke's every move, like she was thinking about a counter attack...or how to ambush him.

"How?" Ben noticed how his mother was watching his uncle, so he handed over his toy saber as an offer.

"I have other things to do than waving a stupid lightsaber around," Leia accepted Ben's toy saber in on hand, while still holding firmly onto his locks with another.

"You mean aggressive negotiations?" said Ben with tease, as he watched his uncle so lost in his own world, that he didn't notice that his sister now had a "weapon."

"Yeah..something like that..." then his mother easily disarmed Luke with the tiny saber, who dropped his stick with a shocked expression, all the while she braided Ben's hair with the other hand.

"See, it's so easy. I don't even have to learn this," Leia handed the saber back to Ben, who grinned from ear to ear, in total awe of her.

"Wow, mom! Please be my teacher! You rock!" He rocked in excitement on her lap and swung his toy saber around.

* * *

 _ **KR: Wow, I'm impressed.**_

 _Mom is the coolest!_

* * *

"Hey...not fair...sister!" Luke pouted over being humiliated like that in fight with untrained forcesensetive and picked up the stick off the ground. "I wasn't ready. I want a real fight! Come on, let's reset!" He took a fighting stance and Ben was ready for another mock fight.

"I sometimes wonder which of you are the bigger child.." mumbled Leia and groaned when she saw that her braiding on Ben had got undone again, so she had to move a few steps back in the braiding to fix it.

"What's up with you men and lightsabers fight!" She growled, even though she had been the one who fought her brother, but mostly because Ben was still swinging his saber around with excitement. "Ben, stop moving."

"Sorry mom." He sat quiet and unmoving on his mother's knee, with his saber on his lap.

"I'm not a child...fine...later then. What did Han think about the bombing prank...?" said Luke, to change the topic from his defeat and put the stick away along with his other relics, as he had lost all interest in it.

"He laughed like you two...until he heard the empire part..." said Leia in a mysterious voice, as she fixed her braiding on Ben's hair, by undoing it and twisting it again.

"What did he do to Ben?" Luke glanced at his nephew and looked as afraid, as if Han had put Ben in carbonite for it and Ben frowned over his uncle's complete wrong image of his father, like he was some kind of a darkside father.

* * *

 ** _KR: My Vader should've put Luke in carbonite for not joining him...he was going to bring him that way to the emperor anyway. That would've taught stupid Luke not to say no to darkside! Naughty Luke!_**

 _Sigh..._

 ** _KR: My Vader should've put me in carbonite for not joining him!_**

 _Erm...what?_

 ** _KR: Just saying..._**

 _What about the children?_

 ** _KR: Them too..._**

 _Creepy..._

* * *

"Han? Nothing, he never does anything. Always leaves it up to me...unless when Ben has smuggled himself with him and he really has to discipline him...then he does...something..." said Leia and shrugged, when she begun her braiding anew.

"He yelled at me for an hour...like I was trying to restore the empire or something, it was just a joke..." said Ben with a pout and hugged his saber, when thinking of his father's rage when he should've been happy with him, over the fact that the boring senators (not his mom!) got a little fright. Especially since his father loved to make fun of them (except his mom!).

* * *

 _ **KR: We are trying to restore the Empire.**_

 _We weren't at time._

 _ **KR: Are you so sure about that...maybe subconsciously...because of your past...I mean mine...**_

 _Why? Doesn't make sense, I thought you were mad when the republic died._

 _ **KR: I outgrew that nativity after my death and realised the only thing wrong with the empire, was that my Vader and I didn't rule it.**_

 _Oh...that's..._

* * *

"Kind of unfair, since he was in the kriffing Imperial army! He even found uncle Chewie that way!" said Ben and waved his toy saber around. "It's so unfair! He really should love the empire! I mean how else would he have found uncle Chewie? Or met you and uncle..and everyone?"

* * *

 ** _KR: Yeah!_**

 _Hmm...that's..._

* * *

"He defected and you know he hates the empire," said his mother sternly while braiding, before Ben could convince anyone that the empire was good idea, no matter some of the positive results...like family. Luke agreed with his mother.

"Stop moving," she hissed at Ben.

"I know he hates it...he showed it...to me." Ben gulped, put his toy saber on bed and rubbed his backside.

"Really...?" Leia paused her braiding and looked at her brother, who shared her surprise.

"I thought he never punished you," said Luke in disbelief.

* * *

 _Hold...on never punish...then why did he send me away...for stealing the Falcon?_

 _ **KR: To make up for all the times he didn't punish you.**_

 _Great..._

 _ **KR: And it was the Falcon.**_

 _True..._

 _ **KR: You are lucky he didn't leave on you Jakku for it...hey maybe that's what happened to Rey!**_

 _Shut up..._

* * *

"He did punish me. He said, no more darkside, empire or terrorism! And smacked me after each word to really hammer the lecture in! Even though I told him Kylo was the one who wrote the empire rules part! Not me."

* * *

 _ **KR: Hey!**_

 _You think the empire rules._

 _ **KR: Well, yeah not the point...I also did the senate kriffing sucks.**_

 _Wait...that's what you are mad about?_

 _ **KR: Yeah, it's an important message. Don't take that away from me! Sucks though, that we got punished for telling the truth.**_

 _Yeah..._

* * *

"Dad did hug me long afterwards though...like he had slaughtered me or something...and cried...said he just didn't want to...lose me...to the darkside..." added Ben quickly and hugged his saber like his father had done to him, when he saw their angry looks. He tried to make his father's treatment look somewhat better, even though he thought it was unfair since it was Kylo's fault, like always.

* * *

 _Dad cried...over me? He didn't want to...lose me...? Darkside?_

 _ **KR: That's because he thought he had hurt me...doesn't care about you...**_

 _Eeeh...? That doesn't make any sense...he hates you..._

 _ **KR: Does not...but everyone hates you...**_

 _They don't hate me!_

 _ **KR: Today...**_

 _They...do...not...do they...?_

* * *

"Of course he did...and stop blaming Kylo for everything, you do," scolded his mother, as that was the one thing she saw wrong with his tale, not his father's punishment and his uncle concurred.

* * *

 _ **KR: Yeah!**_

 _But you still think the empire ruled?_

 _ **KR: I told you the only thing wrong with it, was that it had the wrong leader...which was my fault...I should have said yes and joined Vader as his empress...and then we would've taken stupid Obi-Wan down together! Or maybe he would've joined the darkside as well...I know he had the hots for me...or Anakin...anyway, then we would have taken the emperor down together! Why...why didn't I just say yes...?**_

 _Erm...at that time, you weren't even forcesensetive...so you couldn't have turned to the darkside...or fought...anyone with a lightsaber...only...blaster..._

 _ **KR: Oh...right...stupid force...why wasn't I forcesensetive back then...? Things would've been different...oh well...we can still do this...with Rey...**_

 _I...that sounds hot...so you want...Finn to join us...?_

 _ **KR: The traitor? You mean, because I called him Obi-Finn? But he isn't even forcesensetive...no, me and Rey is enough.**_

 _You mean me and Rey_

 _ **KR: No me and Vader...Rey...**_

 _My Rey._

 _ **KR: My Vader.**_

* * *

"But...it was Kylo..." whined Ben and lifted up his saber, sad that neither his mom or uncle, saw anything wrong with being punished for something he didn't do.

"Maybe...but, you must have confused your father by always blaming Kylo. That's why he said those ridiculous words, you are no son of mine, I don't care what you do, in order to reach out to you...which of course didn't work, since you misunderstood everything. You did blame Kylo when you tried to steal the Falcon, right?" said his uncle sternly, like everything wrong in the galaxy was Ben's fault and he confiscated his saber, to Ben's protest and put it back in his duffle bag.

"No, more fooling around," his uncle said sternly and Leia smiled thankful, that Luke had taken charge of the situation.

"So it...was my fault...? You should have seen how mad dad was...like he wanted to kill me..." Ben hugged himself in fright and stared ahead as if he was reliving his anger.

"Of course he wanted to kill you, you tried to steal the Falcon...and run...I mean fly away with it. He hates when you run away," said Luke and thought his twin would agree, but she looked bitter, as she braided Ben's hair and rambled on.

"I still think Han went way too far by saying that. He left you with those cruel words and then just left! Without explaining what he meant. I really wish, he would just have yelled at you or even put you over his knee instead. You were asking for his attention anyway. That would have been swift and over with and then our boy would have gotten the cuddle of a lifetime and he wouldn't have thought his father hated him..."

She turned Ben sideways on her knee so could braid around his head. "But, no, Han, thought that approach was barbaric...which it kind of is...but instead he tried that stupid passive-aggressive, silent treatment method on his innocent child...where did he get that horrible idea? Why did he think that would work? Why didn't he just ground him? Then we wouldn't be in this mess...or at least cuddle you and tell you, how sorry he was for always leaving you behind. Or even take you on father-son trip to get some father-son time, since that was what you wanted in the first place. Not just leave you like that! Stupid Han...always saying the wrong things...never thinks things through...never tell me the odds..."

"You are still mad at him...?" Ben turned to her and gaped over that revelation. His mother had mostly comforted him after he told her what his father said and then send him away to help him with his growing darkside. He had no idea she was furious at his father for saying those words to him. She thought she was only furious at him, for trying to steal the Falcon, especially after she broke his old toy saber and grounded him.

"You bet your ass I am! Especially, since he hasn't called back, even after I let him know our little angel-bandit was sick! He better fix this, like yesterday...!" Leia pumped her fist into the air, making her lose hold on her braiding yet again, so she cursed her husband like it was his fault, that she hadn't finished braiding a long time ago, something with such a little hair length.

"But I thought you couldn't even leave him a voice message. How should he know that Ben is sick?" said Luke and pointed out the error in her logic.

Leia frowned, before starting over with the braiding yet again, as she didn't know the meaning of give up, no matter what the universe said. "You are right...he doesn't know...there better not anything have happened...no there better something have happened to explain this...but nothing too bad..." she rambled as she fixed the braiding.

"I demoted him," said Ben darkly, to stop his mother's ramblings.

"Don't demote your father," deadpanned his mother. "That's rude."

"But, didn't he send me away...?" said Ben, surprised that his mom was so quick to change sides again.

"You ended up here..." said her mother, like that was all there was to the story and went back to braiding, which seemed to calm her more down than Ben.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..." Ben turned around and hugged her fiercely, like she was thinking about sending him away again, even though they were on the place he was send to originally. But she could send him further away, like to Jakku, but of course then he would have chance to meet Rey...

Leia sighed and let go of his hair braiding to hug him back, since she couldn't do his hair, when he was that way. "You are forgiven...for everything. You have been through so much..." She looked at her brother. "Can you just imagine, if I had just left after those horrible words that I said to my little angel...and I slapped him in anger. How much damage that would do to his soul, well Han did that...except he didn't slap him, but he could've well just done that...Ben was so hurt by his words. Not to mention if you Luke, would have left Ben after you nearly killed him. Think about how disastrous that would have been!" She rubbed her son's back to calm him down.

"I would never do a thing like that," said Luke insulted, like he would never make a wrong decision ever in his life.

* * *

 _ **KR: He hid on a island from me...**_

 _You know he is hiding on island?_

 _ **KR: No, it was just an expression...I think...do I know where he is...? Maybe I don't need a map to find the Last Jedi after all! The answer is right inside my brain!**_

 _You mean...mine..._

 _ **KR: Give me the map!**_

 _I don't have it!_

 _ **KR: You suck! Get us out of her so we can get the map from that stupid droid!**_

 _You have it the other way around! You get us out of here!_

 _ **KR: I can't...**_

 _Can't...or won't...?_

 _ **KR: Not telling.**_

 _Jerk._

 ** _KR: You're jerk!_**

* * *

His mother sighed, as if she didn't really believe that. "Anyway, Han was really sorry and I really hope he learned from that stupid mistake and next time..."

"Next time...?" Ben looked up at this mother in her embrace, hoping that this meant he was going home soon.

"No, you are right, there won't be any next times, you will behave for now on, right?" She gazed down at him seriously.

"Of course, mom...but when will I go home...?" said Ben with eyes, big as porg-eyes.

"I will call him again," said Luke like that would answer that question and fetched the holoviewer.

 _I'm Solo. I'm Han Solo..._

Little holo Ben appeared to sing and dance, meaning at least they had gotten into a voicemail so at least the com-link was finally turned on.

His mother awed first at the dancing form and looked at her son, who wanted to disappear into the ground because of the mortification, especially since she asked if she could get a upgraded version of it, now when he was older, which he refused and said he would rather drink three bottles of stink fish oil.

She frowned deeply both at her son's refusal and at the message his father left so carelessly and waited until after the beeb to deliver her own message in a ice cold voice:"Han, you better call the minute you get this message. Our son is deadly sick and in great pain and needs our help desperately. I'm staying with him for the moment. Hoping that it will make him feel better and we can bring him back before it's too late. That is our only hope."

* * *

 _ **KR: That was dramatic...**_

 _A bit of revenge for she couldn't reach dad right away...I guess..._

 _ **KR: She is a true Skywalker...drama and revenge...**_

 _That's not all we do...we also help people..._

 _ **KR: When it suits you...and just your own...**_

 _Hey, you are Skywalker as well! I mean...if you are..._

 _ **KR: I'm Vader.**_

 _Huh?_

 _ **KR: That is my only family.**_

 _Sigh..._

* * *

"Mom...wasn't that a bit excessive...it's just a cold I think...and I can't uncle just fix it with the force..?" Ben frowned at Luke, like he was to blame for his cold...and everything.

"No, I can only fix visible wounds and as long as they are not deadly. Sickness must be treated with medicine. In fact..your sickness might be more than just a normal cold," said Luke seriously.

"Oh...?" His mother looked shocked, that there might have been some truth in her words to Han after all.

"I just read..." Luke held up an ancient book that somehow had escaped Little Kylo's slaughter. "That after dipping into the darkside, you will experience some cold symptoms, high fever, headache, dizziness, excetra. Kind of like withdrawal symptoms."

"Is it dangerous?" Leia looked at her son with worry, who grew worried as well.

"No...he just need to rest and not to go back to the darkside and back from it...because the sickness will get more dangerous the deeper you were in darkside before you turned to the light...in fact one could get stuck inside his head...forever..." said Luke dramatically. "Since the darkside will do everything to take over again."

* * *

 _Oh..._

 _ **KR: Ah...**_

 _So it's your fault!_

 _ **KR: NOT MY FAULT! I SWEAR!**_

 _Somehow...I don't believe that..._

* * *

"Well, my baby is not going to just juggle back between light and dark, he knows better," said Leia sternly and went back to her braiding. "In fact, he will not go to the dark at all! Or else..." She patted the hairbrush by her side in warning and glanced at her son, who gulped.

* * *

 ** _KR: You are in trouble!_**

 _Shut up...I know that..._

* * *

"I promise I won't turn back...but if by any chance that did happen...is there any cure...for this darkside sickness?" asked Ben tentatively so his mom wouldn't get mad at him for even thinking about the possibility. He wanted to be prepared for everything, even an unknown future with the light and dark.

His mother huffed, but didn't comment further on it, as it never hurt to be prepared.

"It must come from the outside...someone must want to save you...another strong forcesensetive...and bring you back," replied Luke with certainty, like he knew how this worked from experience.

"Oh...how can he...or she save me...?" Ben looked at the pillow on his bed, with Rey's smiling face and back at his uncle. "Or I her?"

"You have to enter the head of the "patient"...and the further you were in the darkside...the more drastic measure your saviour must take..." said Luke, who doubted a pillow or some imaginary girl could ever save him, or that he had to save her in turn.

"Like what...?" Ben gazed at his uncle, like he held all the answers in the galaxy.

"Luke, stop with those ghost stories. My son will just get frightened for no reason," scolded Leia, without stopping braided her son's hair. Unlike her brother who wanted to look to the future, she was here and now and didn't want to worry about what ifs.

"But I want to know mom, if I don't know, I will stay up all night and try to come up with a solution," said Ben, who just like his uncle was constantly thinking about what ifs.

"Okay, then. Only tell him that and no more." Leia kept on braiding, she was going to finish it, no matter what, even if a full scale war would suddenly begin.

"I don't know anything more...I think...she would have to convince you...or drag you back," said Luke, deep in thought.

"That doesn't sound so...drastic," said Ben disappointed and his mother agreed.

"Or kiss you," said Luke with a grin.

"What...?" Leia stared at her brother and Ben dropped his jaw in shock and gaped at the pillow.

* * *

 _What!_

 _ **KR. Please don't tell me we are stuck here, just because you want Rey to kiss you!**_

 _Hey! First of I didn't know about this and second of all! NO, I'm trying to get out of here!_

 _ **KR: So you don't want her to kiss you...?**_

 _I never said that! I want her to kiss me but not under those circumstances!_

 _ **KR: We don't even know if she is strong enough to get in here...she is untrained...**_

 _That is right...but she is so powerful..._

 _ **KR: Hmm...my Vader...**_

 _No Rey._

* * *

"Yes, the kiss of destiny. But you have to love each other, of course, for it work. Not anyone can just kiss a former darksider and hope he comes back," said Luke, like he was reading children's story.

* * *

 _Love each other..._

 _ **KR: Ah, then it won't work with Rey.**_

 _Why do you say that?_

 _ **KR: Because you barely know each other? Why would she want to save you...? I mean, she doesn't even know you have been fantasizing about her since you were child...drooling over a pillow with her picture on it...**_

 _Hey, don't make our love sound like something impure!_

 _ **KR: I didn't...this just like how Pre-Vader was about me...not sure about the pillow though...and you all know that turned out...and Rey is...or rather was...**_

 _Erm...at least Rey, would want to bring me back to my family._

 _ **KR: Sure...but this kissy thing to bring you back, doesn't work unless she WUVS you.**_

 _Oh right...just my luck I had to get stuck in here...before that could happen..._

 _ **KR: Yes...luck...**_

* * *

"Sounds like fairytale to me...are you sure you are not making this up?" said Leia irrated, that her brother was putting, yet again, more idiotic things into her son's innocent head.

"Hey! Our father told me this!" shouted Luke, like their father would never tell a lie and frowned at his sister for even suggesting it.

"Anakin...? Now, I know you are making this up!" Leia huffed, as she really though more of Bail Organa as her father, shook her head and focused on finishing braiding her son's hair.

"No, this is Jedi stuff," said Luke insulted that his sister always made light of everything Jedi related, even though it was also part of her heritage...her bloodline.

* * *

 _He talked to grandfather's ghost? Then Rey can't be him...or Vader..._

 _ **KR: Vader is separate...and Luke is talking about this...before Rey was born...**_

 _Oh...so...I'm still stuck with that possibility..._

 _ **KR: Yub.**_

 _Stupid Snoke...messing with my mind...how can we get out of here?!_

 _ **KR: I don't know...**  
_

 _Liar..._

* * *

"Why is grandfather so knowledgeable about the darkside?" Ben looked at his uncle, since he knew his mother would never answer or didn't want to.

"Because your grandfather...was a Jedi...and his friend...erm who became his enemy, you know the one who killed him...and your grandmother, went to the darkside," stammered his uncle and looked at Leia, like she could censor him with her glare.

* * *

 _ **KR: Hrmp...**_

* * *

"So...grandfather tried to kiss him? To bring him back?" Ben glanced between his Rey pillow at his uncle, curious over that new information.

Luke looked startled by that suggestion. "NO! I saved him...I mean...not your grandfather...but the other erm guy...his former friend."

"By kissing him?" said Ben and his mother laughed over her brother's embarrassment and kept on braiding.

"No...familial love saves too, without kissing, just love. Love is the key ingredient, so not just..." said Luke in his best teacher-voice.

"Familial? But he was just a friend of grandfathers...?" Ben stared at his uncle, who backed away and gulped when looking at her sister stern frown. "Don't you dare."

"Yeah...but erm...like I said..." Luke glanced between his sister and nephew, trapped.

"No more questions!" yelled Leia in her emergency voice, as if Ben had just opened a forbidden box.

"But I need to know!"

"No, Ben. This enough for tonight. You are too young for this," said his mother and braided his hair, as she continued to control what he could know and do.

"Your mother is right." Luke smiled relieved, thankful for the saving.

* * *

 _Familial? Ah, because of the father son thing..._

 _ **KR: Ah...if Rey is your sister or cousin...she could save you!**_

 _Erm...I don't want that...relation..._

 _ **KR: You would rather be stuck in here...forever...? Without Rey...in any shape or form...? Rather then she could...be related to you?**_

 _No..._

 _ **KR: And there is a slight possibility that she could in fact be your sibling...or cousin...I told you about that...**_

 _Kriff! I forgot! I have to worry about that later...how will we get out of here...? Rey is not coming._

 ** _KR: I think this is leading somewhere...this can't go on forever..._**

 _You think?_

* * *

Ben huffed and pouted that he was always too young for everything. "Fine...can you at least call dad back and leave a message that I'm not on my deathbed?"

"No, your father must learn the hard way, so he will stop turning his com-link off. And I have just the right medicine for you... " His mother twisted the very end of the braid, until it was like a rope. " "...because braiding strengthens your mind, body and spirit, plus it is the symbol of your spiritual strength and health." Then Ben felt her tuck the hair-rope under a existing braid underneath. At last she took out her own hair clasp to secure his braiding into place, like she was marking him as her own and the property of Alderaan, since it had the royal emblem, the upside-down triangle made of interlacing curves.

Leia squealed with delight with the finish work. "You are so cute! My little queen." His mother handed him a mirror in the bag so he could see and held another one behind his head, so he could admire the whole braiding.

"Thanks mom..." Ben viewed his dark twisted crown braid in the mirrors. The tight finished braid went all the way from his forehead, around his right ear, to his neck, to his left ear, and then to his forehead again. He was only wearing black pyjamas which didn't fit the elegant hairstyle in any way, so he frowned at the work, not because it wasn't spectacular, but because he didn't recognise himself and felt as if he was looking at another person...in another life. The only thing that was missing, was a regal dress...not that he wanted a dress! Not anymore...at least...people would make fun of him...and he didn't want a dress!

* * *

 _ **KR: Alderaanian royal braid! Called it! Impressive work...especially since you don't really have that much hair to work with...as a child...**_

 _What...how do you...? I mean, you know the ones from Naboo...but how come you know...I mean mom taught me...not you..._

 _ **KR: They were very famous. You barbarian. Plus it's part of your heritage...even though it's lost...**_

 _Because of Vader.._

 _ **KR: NO TARKIN! My Vader did not blow up Alderaan! He didn't like the Death Star one bit! He hated it!**_

 _That's where you draw the line...?_

 _ **KR: Yes, you don't destroy beautiful things!**_

 _But you destroyed the beautiful Jedi relics..._

 _ **KR: That was just some stupid Jedi stuff. On the other hand, Alderaan was a very beautiful place...like Naboo and Chandrila are...why didn't they blow up Tatooine or something...oh wait...Luke wouldn't have wanted that...can you imagine, him even whining more...? Leia didn't whine although her home planet got blown up, right in front of her, so strong. But what about Jakku? Then Rey would never have been left there...**_

 _You idiot! Then she would never have been born!_

 _ **KR: How do you know...do you know who her parents are? Who says they lived on Jakku?**_

 _To be fair...I don't know anything about her family..._

 _ **KR: In this life...**_

* * *

 _Next up: Embarrassing torture of the past..._

 _We never found who warned Leia of the Napkin bombing incident in Bloodline, but I pretty sure it was Ben...since it never gets answered. We are supposed to think it's another character, but that is never confirmed and apparently Rian Johnson helped Claudia Gray with that incident (the twitter has now deleted that evidence) Very suspicious..._


	41. Embarrassing torture of the past

_AN: It's a (funny) torture from Ben's point of view, not a real torture...you will see...at the end... ;)_

* * *

Chapter forty one - Embarrassing torture of the past

So sweetie, now that you look even more adorable, do you want us to find and save this Rey?" Leia put the mirrors away in her Ben-bag.

"Yes, please...she is...no will be so lonely..." Ben grabbed and hugged the Rey-pillow on the bed, so at least that wouldn't be lonely and he didn't dare to admit that he was not under any circumstances going to show up in front of his Rey, with his hair braided like that, as she would most likely make fun of him.

* * *

 ** _KR: My Vader wouldn't make fun of me...he loved to undo it to see my flowing hair..._**

 _Not sure about Rey...I think she would at first...seems to be that type..._

 _ **KR: So uncivilised...**_

* * *

"I will see what I can do."

Ben was stunned. He had not expected that answer from his mother, considering how he had yelled at Luke till he was blue in the mouth to do something about her and destroyed his office in rage to get to Rey.

"Really? Thank you mom, you are the best!" His smile lit the room as he hugged her.

"Hey...we were going a trip...and maybe checking her...birthplace out..." Luke pouted that he didn't get any credit for that.

"Yes, maybe," Ben glared at him for only given him a small piece of hope unlike his mother, who promised to do something about Rey.

* * *

 _Erm..._

 _ **KR: Did she ever...?**_

 _I'm not sure...would Rey still have been on Jakku then...?_

 _ **KR: Doubt it...meaning...she...**_

 _Lied._

* * *

"Anything for you, my little boy." His mother smiled at him.

"I'm not little..." Ben pouted.

"You will always be my little boy," his mother dove into her bag, like she was in treasure hunting.

"Always...?" Ben furrowed his brows, not happy that he was supposed to be stuck as child forever, never to be able to know or do anything forbidden...or anything his mother didn't want for him. Maybe not even get Rey...

"Always. Oooh, this one brings back memories. I wonder if you can still fit in this," his mother pulled up a small garment that was so bright, it lit up the room. The flowing fabric changed colours after how light reflected on it and his uncle pulled the curtains open with the force to make the sunlight shine in, so the clothing could really be enjoyed.

"Mom, it's a dress!" screamed Ben like she didn't know that already. He scrambled away from it on bed, like it could burn him or that he could get trapped in unwanted destiny...or get trapped in it again. He looked out the window and hoped that none of the knights would see this or they would laugh more than usual at him.

His mother had a devious smile like a super villain. "I know, it was your grandmother's. Those Naboo dresses are so gorgeous and you look so cute in it! I mean, cuter, you are always cute...my cute little princess." She grabbed him and took off his nightshirt to put him in the dress instead.

"Help me, uncle!" His arms stuck out of the dress sleeves like a man drowning in sea or quicksand.

"Stop struggling, you will ruin your braiding!" scolded Leia and pulled down slowly the dress over his head, to not ruin it. "Don't you dare...I have spent too much time on it already," as she had too many times had to begin and redo the braiding.

"Leia...are you sure that's wise...going after this girl...?" said Luke, who did nothing to help Ben from his mother, as usual or rather stop his sister from crossdress his nephew. He shut up, the moment Leia gave her fiercest glare for bringing that up, the glare that no one dared to say anything against, while she put struggling Ben in a dress, like he was her little doll.

"I mean...what if she was...you know..." said his uncle and his mother pulled dress all the way over Ben and smoothed it over. Ben looked down in horror that dress still him perfectly and that fact made his mom so happy, that her mood didn't even change when her brother hinted the slightest at Vader.

"You are right, maybe this isn't just a game. It could be a darkside vision...at least something is confusing our poor boy so terribly, that he speaking about some past life, he never even lived," Leia said while looking adoringly at her little pouting son in his grandmother's dress and with his braiding to match. "Look, how cute he is? Are you an angel?" She pinched his cheek and turned to her brother. "Luke, doesn't he look cute?"

"He really looks like an angel," said Luke and smirked. "He's super adorable like this..."

* * *

 _The kriff, can they know if I never lived that life? So controlling! It's my past, future and present!_

 _ **KR: Yeah!**_

 _I mean...I don't even know...if that was my past...life...I mean..._

 _ **KR: So pathetic...you are adorable in that dress...and with that braid.**_

 _Shut up! Why the kriff are they dressing me up like their doll?! I'm sick, that's just abusive..._

 _ **KR: I will pretend I didn't hear that nonsense and please apologize to everyone for making light of other people's suffering...and you kind of been through worse...just minutes ago...**_

 _I'm sorry...wait...what! Why I'm listening to you! You have no right to lecture me! You, of all people!_

 _ **KR: I'm your grandmother.**_

 _You weren't around. You can't just know start to...erm...raise me...? The kriff is happening here! You are not my grandmother! Stop saying that!_

 _ **KR: I wasn't around because I died and you look so adorable in our old dress...**_

 _Ours...? Ehehehe...I'm really losing it in here..._

 _ **KR: It's like looking in a mirror...in the past...except this time...with our children...**_

 _?_

 _ **KR: I wonder where our other dresses are...the adult ones I mean...**_

 _I hope...lost in space somewhere._

 _ **KR: Hey!**_

 _That's my only hope..._

 _ **KR: You know, I meant that Rey would probably look cute in it.**_

 _Rey? That's a surprise...but I don't think she likes dresses._

 _ **KR: How can you be so sure? Have you asked her? No, you don't know anything about her...**_

 _I'm afraid you are right...I wonder if she would like it..._

 _ **KR: You know for that rude remark about the state of my dresses, I hope I can find one and make you put it on...as a punishment.**_

 _That's awfully mild coming from a darksider...and wouldn't that...ruin them...? Because of my size?_

 _ **KR: Hmm...I wouldn't chose my favourite one, you jerk...**_

 _I wonder if Rey wants me to braid her hair...those buns looks messy as...!_

* * *

"She is not darkside! Her name is Rey of light but with an e!" shouted Ben like the name should convince everyone where her alliance fell and especially with that spelling.

"You gave her that name," reminded his uncle him.

"She is my lightside!" shouted Ben and looked angry at the dress, like it was keeping him away from her. He looked at the sunlight inside the room, like that was nothing but fake light to him. Not his light.

"Aww, look at my little princess," his mother cooed and fawned over him and didn't comment on his Rey obsession, as she had her own obsession to deal with.

"You mean prince!" snarled Ben, that she was trying to change him into the daughter she never had.

"You can be both, sweetie. You are my everything," his mother hugged him, like that would never change.

"I want to be a smuggler!" Ben tugged at the collar of the dress.

"Don't rip the dress! I warning you..." His mother eyes shot daggers at him and reached for the hairbrush to use in a complete different way.

* * *

 _ **KR: Don't rip it.**_

 _You...are scaring me..._

 _ **KR: Good.**_

* * *

"Please...I don't like this...dad doesn't like this," pleaded Ben, as he hoped for a small reprieve.

"I don't care what he likes, he's not here to say he doesn't like this," snapped his mother and crossed her arms defiantly.

"Well, I don't!"

His mother leaned down at him. "You liked this in the past. Is it just because your father doesn't like this...? Is this some toxic masculine bantha poodoo he has been filling your head with? Boys can't wear dresses? His boy?"

"Leia..." said Luke, to finally intervene in some way.

Ben grew frightened when his mother got into her politician form that was unstoppable and no one could argue against. "I...no...dad isn't like that...I think...please...can you at least call him...and ask him...?"

"Why should I...? It's not like we can reach him anyway..." His mother had barely finished her sentence when they heard a urgent ringing from the holoviewer.

* * *

 _Dad...?_

 _ **KR: Who else...?**_

* * *

"My little bandit is sick?! Is he going to die?!" shouted the holo Han hysterically the moment Luke answered and looked frantically around the room. "Luke, where is my boy!?" He turned to glower at him, like Luke had done something to Ben, so he was nowhere to be found.

* * *

 _What's up with that reaction...? He cares...?_

 _ **KR: So stupid.**_

 _What's that supposed to mean?_

 _ **KR: Nothing...**_

 _Sheesh mom, really frightened him...why is he frightened...?_

 _ **KR: Stupid, stupid...stupid...**_

* * *

"He's alright now. Where have you been? It's been a week!" scolded Leia in calm voice, despite it being her fault that he was so hysterical.

"A week? No, it's only been couple hours...alright? What was wrong with him? You said he was deadly ill! Where is he?" Holo Han twirled on the viewer to glance around the small room. "Where is he?" Somehow he missed him, even though he was right in front of him, that must be because his eyeline went over him.

"No, it just a flu and if he and my brother follow my schedule, he will never be sick again...and they will follow it," said Leia and frowned at nephew and uncle who gulped and nodded. She took the holoviewer from Luke's hand, to get Han down to their eye level.

"That's...a relief..." Han smiled, but his eyes widened in shock when he finally found his son. "What the kriff is my son, wearing?!" his father's gruff voice grew an octave higher, as he took in his new appearance, like Ben was dressed as Darth Vader, instead of in an innocent dress.

"He likes this," said Leia and smirked smugly, as she fitted him with a necklace she hand found in the Ben-bag.

"I doubt it." Han's look flitted between his wife and son with a frown. His eyes landed on his son, that was in great distress.

"Daddy save me!" yelled Ben and waved his hands, like a damsel in distress or princess locked in a tower. Like his mom and uncle were monsters keeping him prison and torturing him for fun.

"Don't you think he looks cute like this...?" said Leia surprised and little deflated, that she would have to stop her dressing up game.

"I never said he didn't...he's adorable..." his father grinned. "Especially with that braiding."

"Traitor!" Ben took the brush by his side and used it like a weapon, as he threw it through the holographic image, like he was stabbing his father with and it landed on the wall with almighty crash.

"BEN!" His mother looked shocked by his outburst, even though both of his parents also had that temperament...and his uncle.

Luke shook his head, like he had never lost his temper in his life. "Such temper."

Holo Han looked behind him at where the brush hand landed on the wall and back at his furious son with a frown. "Hey...I'm trying to help you, son. We are not your enemies. Please, obviously he doesn't like this. I don't want him to do things he doesn't like..."

"I don't want to be here!" shouted Ben, as if he hadn't already made himself clear enough. The angry brush throwing was more to protest that he was being kept against his will, than over the fact that his father thought he was adorable in a dress.

"I'm sorry...I can't help you there, kid..." His father looked sad by that fact, even though he had been the one to put him there...and leave him...

"I don't like it either, but he has to learn...that he can't get everything he wants...and that we knows what is best for him..." said Leia.

"I'm being torn apart!" yelled Ben.

"Please, Leia," begged his father and even Luke, seemed to think she was pushing it too far.

"Fine, I was just teasing him anyway..." she put the holoviewer on the nightstand to pull Ben out of the dress, but when Ben was about to sigh in relief, she pulled out other garments instead.

"No, not a onesie again!" He pleaded.

"Leia..." said his father sternly.

"It's for his health. It will help him sleep. I have a baby wookie one." Leia held up that type of a onesie for his father to see, who nodded in approval.

"Yeah, put him in that."

Leia began to dress him in that onesie.

"DAD!" Ben glowered at the brush on the floor, like he wanted to throw it at him again, for being such a disappointment to him. For always letting him down. For never being there, when he needed him...for never helping him...

"Sorry, but you are too adorable in that. I wish your uncle Chewie could see you..." Han smiled, as if he was thinking about the wookie witnessing that and worse, showing the upcoming pictures to everyone on Kashyyyk. Waroo, Chewie's son and Ben's friend, would have field day.

"Well, I don't!" growled Ben, which fit his baby wookie look, so no one took him seriously, like he was only cosplaying, especially not after Leia put the hood on him, over the braiding. So he was adorably mad.

"I can take pictures, so he can see it later." Luke found a camera in the Ben-bag.

"He would love that," said Han thankful for the gesture.

"You are all turning against me!" shouted Ben aghast.

"Ben..." said his mother with a warning.

"Stop being so dramatic, Ben. Smile for me..." Luke held the camera up to take a picture.

"NO!" Ben turned away with the most cross expression he could muster and folded his arms.

"Ben, don't be so difficult," scolded his mother. "Turn back now." She turned him in the right direction, before he could get the chance to do the right thing, himself.

* * *

 _ **KR: They really are torturing you...**_

 _Stupid family...I'm not your plaything! And none of them sees how miserable I am...like always..._

* * *

"I HATE YOU ALL!" Ben jumped up in the bed and got his toy saber from the duffle bag with the force pull. He held the saber in front of him, threateningly while he shielded the Rey pillow behind him, like she was in any danger when in truth, she wasn't even on their radar. Only him...and his darkside.

* * *

 _Stupid family..._

 ** _KR: Stupid family_**

* * *

"BEN!" shouted his mother and his uncle looked shocked.

"I'm...so sorry..." Ben fell on his knees and his chest heaved. His vision got darker. "I...didn't mean it...please...you have to believe me..." his voice choked up. "Please..." He grabbed the pillow in a tight embrace.

Leia and Luke stared at him, as if they weren't sure how to deal with his sudden darkside outburst.

"Hey, he is sick. Let our poor boy rest," said his father and seemed to be the only one of his family, with some sense of reason and seemed to see how Ben was truly feeling, even though he was not even present in person.

Luke and Leia looked guilty for not paying enough attention to their charge and his mother helped him get back to bed, where he still was grasping onto the pillow for dear life. She took his saber away and put it back in the bag.

"We are sorry, we got a bit carried away..." She removed the hair clasp and put it back in her hair, to make him a bit more comfortable, but didn't want to undo the braiding just yet or undress him from the baby wookie onesie. "We just wuv you so much. You are just too cute. Get some rest, cutie." She kissed his head and then went straight into strict mode to interrogate her husband. "Han, you still haven't answered me where have you been! We have tried to reach you for ages!"

"So, now I'm allowed to come for a visit...?" scoffed his father.

"As long as you won't try to take Ben away...from his important training," said Luke and Leia nodded.

* * *

 _Take me away...? Why would he do that...?_

 _ **KR: You are so thick...**_

* * *

"He's my son," growled Han, like the siblings were stealing him away from him by using some master plot, only known by them.

"No, he's ours," said Leia and Luke nodded, like they all shared ownership of Ben.

"I want to be taken away!" yelled Ben to make his opinion known.

* * *

 ** _KR: I took you away..._**

 _That is not what I wanted!_

* * *

"I know..." His father hung his head, like he wanted to honour his request, but for some reason couldn't. He tried to reach out to cup his son's cheek with his holo hand, that went through Ben, like a ghost. "But, daddy is here now."

* * *

 _Dad...?_

 ** _KR:..._**

* * *

"Han, where have you been!? Why didn't you call straight back? Answer me!" Leia glared at him and interrupted the father-son time before it could begin. "Do you have any idea, how worried I was!?"

His father withdrew his holo hand to meet his wife's stern gaze. "I'm sorry, honey...I had...an accident."

"Accident...? Are you okay?" Her stern frown was replaced with a worry and Ben and Luke looked shocked by the news.

"Yeah, I'm now." Han seemed to find the floor more interesting as his family, as he kept his eyes trained on it.

"What happened?" asked Leia, bracing herself for the worst.

Han looked up, deep up into her eyes. "The Falcon got stolen..."

"What?!" screamed Leia like a dear family member had got kidnapped. Luke looked devastated while Ben was thunderstruck and felt as if his soul was being ripped out...

* * *

 _No way...he sent me away for trying steal it and then he lost it himself!_

 _ **KR: That's bit unfair...**_

* * *

 _Next up: Unhealthy relationships of the past..._

 _Padmé's dresses were lost in hyper space in the Poe Dameron comic...they got thrown out by some bad guys to get a revenge on Leia...will we ever see those pretty dresses again? Will Kylo...find them in 9?_


	42. Lost to the darkness of the past

_AN: Thank you for your support! You guys rock! I had to divide again and again so it's bit more left of this crazy story arc (at least seven chapters with this one)... Sorry for the delay, it took me forever to get this chapter "right. The tone was too heavy to begin with! A very difficult one (darkside) and was not on my originally planning - at least not this way. I finally finished it. Hopefully the next chapters won't take such long time._

 _More family fluff, angst (darkside!)..some silliness! And Reylo (subtext...? There is no such thing as Reylo subtext, it's too obvious in canon - seriously ;)) I think I'm just making it way more obvious..._

 _The Falcon symbolises Ben's mental/dark state, just like in the movies...(mostly in TFA but it also symbolizes (his) home in both movies)_ _In this fic his toy Falcon also represents his heart/soul._

* * *

Chapter forty two - Lost to the darkness of the past

There was nothing around him. Nothing except dark space. With silent footsteps he ran and looked frantically around this endless pitch black void. What happened to his family? Where was he? How long had he been in there?

 _"You lost the Falcon..."_ said his mother through the dark and lit a small light at the end of the dark tunnel and Ben ran toward it, but it died as soon as she finished her sentence. He was left alone in the darkness.

 _"Yes, but..."_ replied his father and another light was lit but before Ben could run toward it, was cut of by his uncle, who also lit up another light.

 _Did you lose Chewie as well?"_

Ben hoped his family would continue talking, it was his only guidance to getting out of the dark.

* * *

 _The kriff is this...?_

 _ **KR: Darkside, duh.**_

 _You mean darkside fever...?_

 _ **KR: Something like that.**_

 _Why did this happen? Because dad lost the Falcon? Come on...I do not love that ship like that..._

 ** _KR: No, but he loves the ship more than you...he send you away for trying to take it, remember...and then he lost it himself..._**

 _Oh right...stupid ship...stupid dad..._

* * *

Before his family could continue talking to light up more exist for him, Ben felt a cold breeze on his neck and he stiffened in fright as he was grabbed strongly from behind. He thrashed wildly around in panic as he was being pulled slowly backwards into the dark. He tried in vain to look over his shoulder but no matter how hard he tried to move, he couldn't look at what was behind him. The cold breath was still on his neck, which made all of his hairs stand up on their roots. The only thing Ben could feel from whatever presence behind him was that it was pure evil.

" _No, he's home on Kashyyyk with his...family...has been there for while,"_ said his father's voice, who had taken away too long time to answer such a simple question, and that lateness might have cost Ben his freedom. His father's voice lit up another small light in the darkness, but it kept getting farther away from Ben as he was being pulled away from it. His father scoffed like he could ever lose someone as precious as Chewie, while he no idea they were in danger of losing his son, right in front of their eyes.

Ben tried to call for help as he struggled against the dark being. When there was no sound he grabbed his throat in panic. Had he lost his voice...his mind? Was he trapped inside his own darkness? Was this part of the darkside fever? What happened? Would he be stuck inside there forever? Ben wanted to cry, but he couldn't. The only sensation in this blackness was the chilling cold of a beast that clung to his soul.

" _So you are alone now...?"_ said his mother worried, another light in the dark. She had no idea her son felt alone, since technically he shouldn't be as he was in the same room as them. But thanks to his darkside fever, he felt separated from them, like he was in another world and could never join theirs ever again. In this strange darkness, Ben could hear them, but they all sounded far, far away instead of right by his bedside. Not as part of his life, but only as a memory or a dream.

 _Can nobody hear me...?_ Each step forward, made Ben take two step backwards. The ground felt slippery and ice cold like his soul. _No one...?_

" _Solo is being Solo."_ Ben could hear the smirk in his uncle's voice over the joke, that Ben was so tired of and wanted to hit him for, especially since the timing of it was awful. He felt so alone. None of his family seemed to detect the horror he was facing, not for the first time. None of them would notice it, until it was too late to save him.

 _Help..._ Ben tried his hardest to scream without his voice and fought tooth and nail to get away from the evil force that was dragging him deeper into the dark. Frantically he clawed and bit at whatever was dragging him back, like a penned animal trying to get away from slaughter.

" _I need my co-pilot...I need my little co-pilot,"_ said his father and that plea lit up the biggest light in the dark. He sounded as desperate as otherwise he couldn't fly his ship, but Ben thought he had no ship since it was stolen or did he get another ship? He must have or where was he calling from? With a private com-link?

* * *

 _What? Who is his little co-pilot...?_

 _ **KR: Maybe he has another...child...like Rey, he is waiting for her to grow old enough to be his co-pilot, there is no way he is talking about you...**_

 _Why do you have to be so...mean?_

 _ **KR: I told you it's my job...**_

 _Why does he want...me?_

 ** _KR: He doesn't..._**

* * *

 _"Ben...? My son?"_ his father's voice called out to him through the darkness, but Ben couldn't answer it even if he wanted to, but his call of light made Ben keep fighting the dark and with brute strength he got away from the invisible force. But not for long as the darkness grabbed him tighter and pulled away.

 _Help me..._

* * *

 _Is that you dragging me into the darkside?_

 _ **KR. No...comment...**_

 _Hmm..._

 _ **KR: Or you know...the supreme leader...**_

 _Ugh...stupid Snoke..._

 _ **KR:...he is not stupid...**_

 _Just cruel and creepy..._

 ** _KR: Well..._**

* * *

" _Who stole it?"_ said his mother, like she planned on finding the thieves and make them pay. Her hard tone made Ben flinch, as if she had directed it at him, since he had tried that once and her rage, gave him trouble fighting against the dark as it made him so afraid. And it dimmed his father's light of hope.

 _"It's a long story..."_ said his father carelessly, which didn't fit in any way to how angry he was when Ben tried to take it and Ben felt himself sink into the darkness with despair.

 _Everyone can steal the Falcon but me...I'm not worthy..._

 _"You misplaced it,"_ said his mother, like he had put it in a wrong parking spot.

 _"No! I caught the thief, but lost her but not before she...!"_ yelled his father.

* * *

 _She...?_

 ** _KR: Ah, he was having an affair..._**

 _He was not!_

* * *

 _"_ _"So while our son was fighting for his life, you were hunting some stupid sexy ship thief,"_ spat his mother, who had no idea Ben was in fact fighting for his life.

 _"Sexy? No, she was cute, but a troublemaker. What do you mean fighting for his life...wasn't it just a flu...? Ben? Why isn't he answering me? Did he faint? Or his he pretending not to hear me? Ben?"_

Ben helplessly listened to his parents fight, while he did his own fight against the darkness. Praying for them to stop fighting and notice the danger he was in.

 _"He's asleep, because you chose the Falcon over him!"_ screamed his mother. _"And some other woman...like Sana Starros..."_

 _"He did,"_ agreed his uncle. _"And Sana is hot...not that you are not...ow, ow, ow..."_ Luke owed when Leia probably twitched his ear for that flirtatious remark.

* * *

 _Ewww...Luke was flirting with mom...yeah take that ear right off him!_

 ** _KR: She sure will..but who is Sana?_**

 _One of dad's old...erm..._

 _ **KR: Flings?**  
_

 _Shut up...I meant a co-worker..._

 ** _KR: Right..._**

* * *

 _"No, I did not do that! Ben, you know who I would chose. I told you that,"_ called his father, to Ben who had given up on fighting the darkness, since he couldn't communicate with them and thus not get any help from them.

* * *

 _The Falcon._

 _ **KR: The Falcon.**_

 _He sent me away for it...he loved it more than me...no matter what some stupid...dream...said...where he was supposed to give me a toy Falcon..._

 _ **KR: You want that toy?**_

 _That was not the point! I want Rey!_

 ** _KR: I would never have guessed..._**

* * *

 _"Ben...answer me, boy. And Leia, what do you mean another woman? You are my only woman. Sana didn't steal the Falcon. It was a little girl,"_ said his father and little Ben perked his ear, when he heard his father mentioned a girl.

* * *

 _A little girl...? Who?_

 ** _KR: I wonder..._**

 _A little girl stole the Falcon...?_

 ** _KR: I mean, if she is an awesome pilot like Ani...I mean Pre-Vader..._**

 _You mean it was...my...?_

* * *

"What girl?" Ben shouted at the top of his lungs, like he was expecting his father to suddenly be able to answer him, which he of course didn't. So instead Ben looked around like he was expecting the girl to pop up in the darkness and help him get out, before it was too late. At least he seemed to have got his voice back, but still his family couldn't hear him. The girl was his only hope.

 _"A little girl?"_ said his mom stunned, like she had never seen one in her entire life even though she used to be one. Ben kept glancing desperately around for the mysterious girl, he hoped was Rey. His only hope...like he was her's.

 _"Stole the Falcon?"_ said Luke in disbelieving voice, like he couldn't believe in female strength even though own sister was a force to be reckoned with.

 _"Yes,"_ replied Han. _"Why isn't he answering me? Are you daydreaming about some girl? Or having a nightmare about the girl...?"_

"A nightmare...?" said Ben, who thought whatever he was going through was a nightmare enough. Especially without his Rey...

"NOOO! COOOOME BAAAACK!"

"Rey!" little Ben's head shot up, when he recognized her small and desperate scream from his dream as she was being abandoned on Jakku forever.

"NOOO! COOOME BACK!" Her scream echoed all around him in the void. Ben struggled as hard as possible against the darkness and looked all around for her, but still she was nowhere to be found.

"I will return to you, sweetheart! I promise!" he shouted towards her scream. He prayed his hope would be able to reach her, though he needed one desperately himself. The tables had turned, he had to save her and get them both out of this darkness.

"COOOME BACK!" yelled little Rey, like she was possessed.

* * *

 _Rey...! What is she doing in there...? Did she steal the Falcon...?_

 _ **KR: Just a figment of your imagination...really...you believe that...? She was hardly born back then.**_

 _True...but return? But I hadn't even met her back then...in this life...I mean..._

 _ **KR: So you were the one who left her on Jakku...?**_

 _NEVER!_

 _ **KR: Then...I have no clue...(lying)**_

 _You are...lying..._

 _ **KR: I already told you...the truth, but you didn't listen. Not my fault...so stubborn...**_

 _Rey is not Vader...reborn..._

 _ **KR: That's only part...of the truth...**_

 _I'm not listening! I just want to get out of here! Now I'm trapped both in the flashback and inside the flashback itself...this is getting ridiculous! Is there no end...to this...?_

 _ **KR: Everything has an end...but I doubt you will like the ending...**_

 _Just get on with it!_

 _ **KR: No sense for drama...**_

 _I prefer comedy..._

 _ **KR: So uncivilized...**_

* * *

Ben listened as Little Rey's scream grew louder, followed by her little footsteps and some heavy ones and suddenly he saw her appear in front of his eyes. She was being dragged through the darkness by some big ugly alien, was it...Unkar Plutt? She struggled in his grasp, her body facing Ben, as she kept yelling, her little eyes wide with terror and panic.

"COOOME BAAAAAACK!" Her little hand fumbled to get to him.

"NOOO! Let her go!" yelled Ben, as he thrashed in the hold darkness had on him to get to her. He reached out as far as possible with his hand towards her.

The precise moment he managed to brush Rey's little fingertips, she disappeared into thin air, like she or that stupid alien, had never existed.

Ben was shell shocked. He looked down at his hands, as if he was the one who had caused her death when all he had done was trying to save her...while trapped in darkness. He whipped his head around.

"NOOOO!" Ben threw his head back and yelled as desperately as when Vader was reborn as machine and had lost Padmé and the twins.

* * *

 _How do you know he did that?_

 ** _KR: He told me..._**

 _Of course he did...but I don't care about that, but only REYYYY!_

 _ **KR: You know she is alive...**_

 _REY!_

 ** _KR: VADER!_**

* * *

Little Ben screamed and screamed as if his heart had been ripped out. Unstoppable tears ran down his face so he couldn't breathe. He couldn't think. He was lost to despair. This was the final straw. No Rey, no hope. Ben felt himself sink deeper into the darkness, as the pure hopelessness engulfed him. All hope was lost...

 _"A girl stole the Falcon...?"_ heard Ben, his mother's voice say in a disembodied voice. Like his father had forgotten about that fact and little Ben kind of did. _What girl...? Not his Rey?_

 _"A girl?"_ said his uncle, who didn't seem to have list of suspects, despite running a school full of children.

 _I'm lost...and none of you seem to care but about the stupid Falcon...while my Rey...is lost...everything is lost...except...what girl...? Who stole the Falcon? And why?_

 _"Don't worry son, I got your precious Falcon back from that naughty girl that smuggled herself on board,"_ said his father with his grinning voice.

* * *

 _What my Falcon? Not his? What is he blabbering about? And what girl? Rey...?_ _Did she sneak onboard...and take my..erm the Falcon? Why?_

 ** _KR: I told you Rey isn't born yet...or at least just an infant...your visions are from her lonely future..._**

 _She could be that powerful..._

 _ **KR: That's a bit ridiculous...even as a Vader standard...and he doesn't steal!**_

 _Rey does...I think...to survive..._ _Rey...what happened to her...? Where is she...?_

 ** _KR: Back in the Falcon...the thing everyone cares about and you can never return to her... because you are lost in the darkness..._**

 _I'm lost in darkness..._

"COME BACK!"

 _? That was...the Rey today...is he...I mean she! Inside here...? What is she doing in here...?_

 _ **KR: I told you that is not possible. She couldn't stay so long inside someone else mind...it must be your mind playing trick on you.**_

"BEN!"

 _That was definitely Rey..._

 _ **KR: No, just your wishful thinking. She can't come inside.**_

 _What about the erm...kiss of destiny..._

 _ **KR: She has to love you in order for that work...**_

 _Oh...right..._

 _ **KR: Onesided doesn't count...**_

 _That sucks..._

"BEN! You idiot! Come back, NOW!"

 _I would never imagine Rey saying that..._

 _ **KR: Are you sure...?**_

 _No..._

"BEEEN!"

 _I want to come back, but I'm trapped in here. Where are you?_

 _(deadly silence)_

 _Great..._

 _ **KR: Told ya...just imagination...**_

 _Well, then I just have to get out on my own..._

 _ **KR: Good luck with that...**_

* * *

For some reason, his father's words about the naughty girl who stole the Falcon gave Ben hope (it could be from a certain point of view his Rey) and just in time he looked up to see child Rey reappear, still calling for him, when she was about to leave through the fog. With great force little Ben managed to break free from the dark being, follow her from the darkness and into the light.

As he exited the fog of darkness, he expected to be see Rey on the other side but no such luck. Then he hoped he would at least be able to see his clueless family, whom he was going to give them a piece of his mind for not noticing anything was off about him, how he was nearly lost to the darkside forever and have them go and save his Rey immediately. There was no time to lose. But to his horror he saw more than them. He saw himself or rather his body lying on the bed, beside his mother, uncle and his holo dad.

 _Was he dead?_

* * *

 _The kriff!_

 ** _KR: Creepy..._**

* * *

To investigate little Ben looked down at his body. It was corporal, but he could hear his heartbeat thundering in his ears. Ghost don't have heartbeats, or at least he didn't think so. Also his vision was blurry and the sounds were like he was underwater. He seemed to have regained partly his sight and hearing, but he couldn't talk or feel anything of his surroundings. No sensation, not even warm touch of his mother's hand who held lovingly onto his. Only the cold of the dark. At least he could see them and move freely, though he couldn't communicate in any way. That was something. But that still didn't mean he liked this in any way. Especially since he had no idea what this was and no way to get any help or how to get back or how to even save Rey.

"Why isn't he answering me? Are you sulking because of the dress-up game your mom did with you?" said his holo dad sternly from the holographic viewer, which his mother had put on top of Ben's comforter, so he was staring down at him. "Stop sulking, boy. It's over and done with. I need to talk to you..." His father's frown suddenly turn into a smirk. "Are you having dreams about that naughty girl? A true Solo." He grinned and winked him.

"Skywalkers think that way, as well," said Luke offended, that Han thought they were so innocent.

"What naughty girl? And stop yelling at him, Our Ben fell asleep," said his mother, who had no idea it was far worse than that. "He needs to rest."

From the outside Ben certainly looked like he was sleeping, but on the inside he was trying to break out of his own body and contact with the outside world. Or rather try to get back inside his body. His ghost hand went right through his body, when he tried to insert himself back in. _Great..._

"What? When did he fell asleep? He was screaming at us just minutes ago. Aww, he must be so tired, so exhausted. Does he have a high fever?" said his father who completely changed his harsh tone to the softest one and furrowed his brows in concern.

Leia moved to rest her hand on their son's forehead. "It's not as high as it used to be...in fact he feels...cold..."

"Cold? That's not good is it...?" said his father and bit his lower lip in worry.

"No..." replied Ben's mother. "But I will put a another blanket on him and heating pads. When he wakes up he can get some cocoa."

"Yeah, it worked last time," commented his uncle. "It made him feel better...so where is the Falcon now...?" Ben floated over to him in his new form. He made at face at him for bringing attention from him to the Falcon, but his uncle just stared through him, even though he was supposed to be force sensitive. Maybe this was something else then the force, but what else could there be but the force?

* * *

 ** _KR: Nerd!_**

 _Is there something else but the force...?_

 ** _KR: I don't think so..._**

* * *

"I told you I got the thief, so I didn't get your message until now and called right back," said Han victoriously, like he had been in some heroic battle or managed to get to work on time.

"And where is the thief?" asked Leia suspiciously and peered into the holo, like she was expecting to see the thief in cuffs behind him.

"Erm...that's bit more complicated..." Han grew flustered. and looked around in his little holo.

"How so?" pressed Leia on and her eyebrows drew in one line, like she was trying to see through him.

"She vanished..." Han threw his hands up in the air. Ben looked down at his ghost like body and back at his father, like there was some link between his condition and the thief.

"You mean escaped...?" said Leia and added helpfully like Han didn't know how to write a report. "With a pod?"

"No...vanished..." Han gulped like he had seen a ghost, which Ben thought was a bit funny since he didn't believe in those. He waved to him in the background, but his father didn't see him so he pouted. It was worth a try.

"Vanished?" Luke shivered, which Ben thought was funnier since Luke had talked with ghost and shouldn't be afraid of them. He poked him with his cold ghost hand and to his surprise and joy, Luke jumped up in fright.

* * *

 ** _KR: Hehe, take that Luke._**

 _Yeah...but vanished...? Like my...Rey? So she is the ship thief...?_

 ** _KR: Well, that would be anticlimactic...and no that doesn't make any sense..._**

 _Well, then I'm still lost...here and there..._

 ** _KR: No one cares about you..._**

 _Rey does...and dad called to check on me..._

 ** _KR: To bad you can't return to him...or anyone ever..._**

 _Rey wants me to come back...she was calling for me...in here..._

 ** _KR: That's just your..erm imagination..._**

 _It was way too detailed for that..._

 ** _KR: Maybe..._**

* * *

"People can't just disappear, Han," said Leia, who frowned at how her brother, who ran and looked frantically around the small dark room. "Luke, sit down."

"I know," replied holo Han and glanced at Luke at his side. "What are you looking for?"

"Something touched me..." Luke did not sit down, he trembled and ran his finger over the ghost touch.

Ben decided to poke him again and once again Luke jumped up. Ben chuckled, but wouldn't dare try that with his mom, so instead he put a comforting hand on her shoulder. But she showed no reaction and didn't take her eyes of her sleeping son in bed, but on the other hand missed seeing her son's trapped soul behind her. For some reason his uncle seemed to be the only person and thing, he could touch in the room. Maybe because of his forcesensetivity, but Luke still couldn't see him. Ben sobbed, it was all fun and games to be able to trick his uncle, but he didn't want to do that for an eternity. He wanted to go home. This sucked, so he kicked his uncle in the shin, like it was all his fault, who yelped and jumped on one foot.

"Hmm..." said Han and peered into the room and looked right and Ben's naughty soul, but didn't seem to see him.

"Just the wind..." commented Leia and Ben was so pissed, that this wasn't enough to make himself clear.

 _No...I'm about to vanish...into the dark...why can't anyone of you...see that...?_

Suddenly he felt a familiar sensation and touched his face. To his surprise there were tears. Tears from when he watched Rey disappear, tears from now and then. As before he couldn't communicate with his family no matter how much he wanted to, only watch...and torment his uncle with his ghost tactics. At least that was fun.

"Are you sure...this isn't Ben...he is not dead...? We haven't heard from him from a while..." said his uncle and rubbed his sore foot. "Naughty nephew..."

"Don't even joke about that!" Leia slapped his arm and Luke owed and holo Han frowned at him for that horrible joke.

But, just to make sure, Leia checked Ben's pulse and sighed in relief when she heard it. "Don't scare me like that," she scolded, but Ben wasn't sure whether she was talking to him or her brother or maybe both.

"What's that...?" said his father suddenly and pointed at sleeping Ben's face, that was dimly hit by the blue holo.

"What's what?" Leia peered at Ben's face in dark, like she was seeing it for the first time and her brother followed her example.

"That on his cheek..? "Are those tears...? said his father worried. "Or is the holo just messing with me...?"

* * *

 _Yeah! I finally got through to them!_

 ** _KR: That's what you think..._**

 _Oh..._

* * *

"Are you sure it not just sweat...? He isn't awake. Can you cry in your sleep?" asked Luke and looked like wanted to find a book and read on it, instead of just checking. "Can you kick people in your sleep?"

His sister, who believed more in actions than reading about them, touched her son face tenderly and she withdrew her hand when she found something cold and wet. "Ben, sweetie are you crying? How long have you been crying?"

Ben's couldn't answer, which made his family even more worried.

"Why would he be crying...? Is he in pain? Maybe we should see a doctor. I can pick him up and..." said his father frantic and tried to lean as far as possible as a hologram like he was hoping to be able to come through it and pick him up that way.

 _Pick me up...? Bring me...home...?_

All of a sudden little Ben could feel the heat from the extra layer that was put on top of him and the pad his mother had placed under him, like she was trying to thaw the ice around his heart. He welcomed that change from the cold. Yet, he felt so hopeless. It pained him that his mom was so close, yet so far away. And Rey was still trapped alone...without him. But his father wanted to pick him up from this place and then they could go get Rey, there was still hope...

"No, he doesn't need any doctors. He just need to rest," his mother waved away his concerns and whispered in Ben's ear. "You are safe, there is nothing bad here and whatever is bothering you in that dream, I will protect you from it."

Despite her warm words, Ben's soul felt cold again.

* * *

 _Mom...you can't...help me...you never could...not even when you are...right beside me...you never saw my true pain...what I really wanted...no matter how much I screamed about it...I need to be woken up!_

 ** _KR: No one can protect you...except me...and super awesome Vader/Rey of course..._**

 _I don't mind...Rey...but she can't help me...in here...right?_

 ** _KR: No._**

 _Wait...did dad say he wanted to pick me up...?_

 ** _KR: He meant Rey._**

 _I wouldn't mind that..._

 ** _KR: So you wouldn't mind him getting Rey as his "little co-pilot" and leaving you with your uncle...forever...and ever...?_**

 _As long as Rey is happy.._

 ** _KR: Liar..._**

 _I'm...not lying...I want her to be happy...that's all I...want..._

 ** _KR: Liar..._**

 _Stop calling me a liar!_

 ** _KR: Only liars say that._**

 _Sigh..._

* * *

"What is he dreaming about...? It must be something bad," said his uncle and shivered in fright, like he wanted Ben to stop having bad dreams, because it was making him uncomfortable or maybe it was just the possibility of the ghost in the room. "Why else would he be crying...?"

"A nightmare...?" said his father. "We can't protect him from those...oh, no I kind of told a ghost story. Don't worry Ben, it's wasn't a ghost that stole your Falcon."

"Then what was it?" asked Luke, who was afraid enough that there seemed to be ghost in the same room as them, which he believed was Ben, but was still scared of.

"I don't know..." replied his father, which did not make Luke feel any better nor answered any of the question Ben had about the girl.

"You don't have to worry about the Falcon, sweetie. It's safe," said Leia, like she knew exactly what was bothering her son, when the truth was she was far from the truth. "Your father got the girl...whatever who tried to fly off with it."

* * *

 _I don't care about that stupid ship._

 _ **KR: I thought you loved it.**_

 _I did... but clearly my family treasure that ship more than...me...I mean they are way more worried about that...I mean...right...?_

 _ **KR: Of course they do...it's the FALCON! While you are...a nobody...**_

 _A nobody..._

 ** _KR: Like Rey...except as Vader, of course._**

 _That doesn't make any sense...but what girl tried to take the Falcon? Rey?_

 ** _KR: No, that's not possible..._**

 _Then who?_

 ** _KR: I have no idea..._**

* * *

"What, of course the Falcon is safe," scoffed his father, like he had never heard anything as ridicules in his entire ridicules life. "His as well."

* * *

 _What, there are two Falcons...?_

 ** _KR: Did your father buy you a ship...? So you wouldn't try to steal his Falcon?_**

 _The kriff is happening here...are there two girls...?_

 ** _KR: You know there are more girls than just Rey in this galaxy..._**

 _I don't care._

* * *

"I thought you said it was stolen," said Luke and gasped that he had been played a fool...at least twice. He glared at the air, as if he was expecting the ghost to be there.

"Were you fooling around?" Leia frowned at Han. "What do you mean, Ben's Falcon? You bought him a ship? Why didn't you buy a better model then?"

"You are giving Ben, the ship thief a ship?" said Luke incredulously and Ben's soul glared at him for that nickname and kicked him again so Luke yelped and jumped as far as possible from that angry ghost.

"Not Ben...you've got to be kidding me..." muttered his uncle, who stared around the room and he tried to find a safe spot. "And why are you picking on me...? Naughty son..."

"Stop that noise, Luke. My angel is trying to sleep," Leia scowled at him.

"Angel..." Luke huffed and then stared afraid, expecting to be hit again by some invisible force and he sighed in relief when nothing happened.

"And he's not your son or a thief but my little bandit...and, no not a real one...why did you think...oh...right, I didn't clarify." Han then chuckled over their misunderstanding. "I was talking about Ben's toy Falcon. It got stolen, but I got it back." He smiled directly at Ben-soul who gaped at him, while the rest of the family was stunned.

* * *

 _A toy...not the real Falcon...? Not another ship...?_

 ** _KR: Erm that explains how a little girl could have taken it..._**

 _That makes way much more sense...but why would dad care so much about my stupid toy...? Why is he giving me a toy in the first place? I thought he hated me...and what girl took it?_

* * *

 _Next up: Mysterious girl of the past..._


End file.
